COLD READ #3: Prose

Directions: ​You have approximately 1 hour and 7 minutes to read, analyze, and annotate
the following passage, and then organize your analysis into an essay that addresses the
guiding question below.

It’s all exactly true.

It happened nearly twenty years ago, but I ​still remember that trail junction and the giant
trees and a soft dripping sound somewhere beyond the tree​s. I remember the smell of
moss. Up in the canopy there were ​tiny white blossoms, but no sunlight at all, and I
remember the shadows spreading out under the trees where Lemon and Rat Kiley were
playing catch with smoke grenades.​ Mitchell Sanders sat flipping his yo-yo. Norman
Bowker and Kiowa and Dave Jensen were dozing, or half-dozing, and all around us were
those ragged green mountains.
Except for the laughter things were quiet.
At one point, I remember, Mitchell Sanders turned and looked at me, not quite nodding,
then after a while ​he rolled up his yo-yo and moved away.
It’s hard to tell what happened next.
They were just goofing. There was a noise, I suppose, which must’ve been the detonator, so
I glanced behind me and watched Lemon step from the ​shade into bright sunligh​t. His face
was suddenly brown and​ shining.​ A handsome kid, really. Sharp gray eyes, lean and narrow
waisted, and when he died it was almost ​beautiful, ​the way the ​sunlight came around him
and lifted him up and sucked him high into a tree ​full of moss and vines and white
blossoms.
In any war story, but especially a true one, it’s difficult to separate what happened from
what seemed to happen. What seems to happen becomes its own happening and has to be
told that way. ​The angles of vision are skewed. ​When a booby trap explodes, ​you close your
eyes and duck and float outside yourself. ​When a guy dies, like Lemon, you look away and
then look back for a moment and then look away again. ​The pictures get jumbled; you tend
to miss a lot. ​And then afterward, when you go to tell about it, there is always that surreal
seemingness, which makes the story seem untrue, but which in fact represents the hard
and exact truth as it seemed.
In many cases a true war story cannot be believed. ​If you believe it, be skeptical. It’s a
question of credibility.​ Often the crazy stuff is true and the normal stuff isn’t because the
normal stuff is necessary to make you believe the truly incredible craziness.
In other cases you can’t even tell a true war story. ​Sometimes it’s just beyond telling​.

Guiding Question:
How does the author utilize sensory detail and sentence structure to express a main theme
from the novel?
 Essay Outline:

You want to allocate your time so that you don’t spend more than 5-10 minutes outlining
your essay and organizing your arguments and textual evidence. Quickly construct a
bullet-pointed outline below, starting with a thesis that addresses the guiding question and
then at least 3-4 body paragraph topic sentences and potential supporting evidence:

A. Introduction
a. Thesis: The author utilizes sentence structure and sensory detail to show
how the trauma and complexity of war can affect what is ingrained in a
person’s memory and what is lost forever.
b. The contrast between absolute truth and uncertainty
B. In the passage, the author shows vivid images showing the selective parts of his
memory.
a. “I remember the smell of moss. Up in the canopy there were tiny white
blossoms, but no sunlight at all, and I remember the shadows spreading out
under the trees where Lemon and Rat Kiley were playing catch with smoke
grenades.”
b. “Sharp gray eyes, lean and narrow waisted, and when he died it was almost
beautiful, ​the way the ​sunlight came around him ​and lifted him up and
sucked him high into a tree full of moss and vines and white blossoms.”
C. While some parts can be seen as true, others are not as reliable which is shown
through the chaos amid the explosion and how it affects what is seen.
a. “When a booby trap explodes, you close your eyes and duck and float outside
yourself. When a guy dies, like Lemon, you look away and then look back for
a moment and then look away again.”
D. The use of short sentences articulates the author’s message by directly explaining
the truth and lies throughout his story.
a. “​It’s all exactly true.”
b. “In many cases a true war story cannot be believed. ​If you believe it, be
skeptical. ​It’s a question of credibility.”
E. Memory can easily be distorted in traumatic events, but can also can also change the
parts that we find important which we make sure to remember.
 Post-Writing Exercise

Watch the following video: ​Annotations Live! TTTC Analysis

*You are not doing the IOC (Individual Oral Commentary) that she mentions, so don’t let that
stress you out! Just focus on how she close-reads the text and organizes her analysis within the
given time limit.

1. What are your thoughts on how the teacher organizes her time and her analysis tools
(pens, annotations, notes, outline, etc.)? Please be specific.
It’s very organized and extensive which I think makes it easier for her to examine the text.
The annotations she uses on the outline allow her to expand her ideas as she’s writing in
order to further develop a theme. Also going back to the text and connecting it to her ideas
which she organizes in a summary allows for easier way to understand what would be in
body paragraphs.

2. What is one MAJOR mistake that she makes while completing her analysis outline in
preparation for the assessment?
She didn’t complete a formal thesis statement. Also in her analysis of the text she
highlighted most of it instead of highlighting the parts that are only relevant to the prompt.

3. Explain TWO ways that you can improve your timed-writing procedure after watching
this teacher:
Color code the texts that are separate parts of the prompt. Annotate outline as well to
further develop ideas and a theme.