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beautiful, historical, and
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enjoy 14 days "Rome-ing"
Venice, Florence, Milan, Porto
Fino, Pisa, Pompeii, the
Vatican and Rome 1 We will
also be attending a session in
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JUNE 28-JULY 11, 2020
Experience the Book of Mormon,
from Lehi's arrival in the Promised
Land to the Land of Nephi, the rise
of Zarahemla, Christ's visit to the
temple in Bountiful and the final
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JULY 11-25, 2020
This comprehensive tour takes
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Experience the Book of
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Zarahemla, Christ's visit to the
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sites including Nauvoo,
Carthage, Kirtland and
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 WE ARE� � AND OUR WHY IS

CHANGING PEOPLES LIVES

 contents I features

Jan feb 2020

26
From Business Titan to Bishop: Miracles and
42
A Time to Sow and a Time to Reap:
Trials in the Life of Bill Marriott How a Sister Missionary and Her
Though perhaps most recognized for his chain of Marriott hotels, Deceased Grandfather Served as
Bill Marriott's life has been shaped not just by worldly success but Mission Companions
by spiritual experiences that have brought him closer to his Father
How much attention does Heavenly Father pay to
in Heaven and reminded him of what is most important in his life. our lives? Enough to place one sister missionary in
BY DALE VAN ATTA the position to find and teach someone her grand­
father had taught the gospel to many years before and
several continents away.
BY MORGAN JONES

On the cover: Business tycoon and Latter-day Saint Bill Marriott

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LDS LIVING 7

 contents I
departments
&columns

Ja111feb ?020

Cover Clues

Departments Columns
59 3 Words to Carry You Through
19 The Power of Personal Revelation 14 Do I Have a Divine Path?
If anyone has witnessed the power of revela­
Mental and Physical Suffering
"But if not" were the three words that changed One of the most brilliant gifts lhe gospel has
tion in action, it is President Nelson's wife given me is a confidence about the meaning of
my son·s attitude toward leaving his mission early
Sister Wendy Nelson. But Sister Nelson·s life and an understanding of why we are here.
because of anxiety and depression. What are the
testimony of personal revelation started BY ERIN HALLSTROM
implications of these three words for our own
long before she became a prophet's wife
lives, particularly when we are dealing with chal­
and included many difficult-and sometimes
heartbreaking-experiences.
lenging mental health and relationship issues? 75 Just Asking: The Nashville
BY DAVID T. MORGAN, PHO Tribute Band
ADAPTED FROM THE HEAVENS ARE OPEN
BY WENDY W. NELSON Dan Truman and Jason Deere aren't your typical
Nashville-based singer-songwriters. We sat down
to ask them about their music and their band's
53 Finding Stillness in the Gospel
newest album.
The fact lhal Latter-day Saints do so much has
led some to joke that LOS stands for "Latter­
day Sprinters, .. with others questioning whether
Latter-day Saints are trying to "work their way
to heaven." For Latter-day Saints who reach a
point of exhaustion, however, this is no joke­
prompting wonderings like: "Is this what God 59
really wants for me7 Will I be able to even keep
this upr
ADAPTED FROM THE POWER OF STILLNESS, MINDFUL
LIVIN"G FOR LATTER-DAY SAINTS BY JACOB Z. HESS,
CARRIE L. SKARDA, KYLE D. ANDERSON, ANO TY R.
MANSFIELD

in every issue

11 SHORT & SIMPLE

16 IN YOUR WORDS

66 WHAT'S NEW

68 TUNING IN

80 INSIDE THE NUMBERS

8 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

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 ·· ·· ···· · · ·· · · ·· ··· ·· • · · ���=·=•="· ·�·.. , ····· ·······••····
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i "Tin jruit of lore is scrrict, 1r/1ic/1 i.� cnmp11ssio11i1111ctio11."
: -MonlER TtR['t\

fun facts about

1907
Year Hershey·s Kisses
were first introduced

300,000
Miles the Hershey·s
Kisses produced each
year would cover if
D id you know that the Hrst soup
we have archaeological
evidence of was hippopotamus
lined up soup? Today, Americans
consume more than 10 billion

1986 bowls of soup each year.

According to the Guin11ess
Year the first pink/red
Book of World Records, the most
foils were used to cel­
ebrate Valentine·s Day expensive soup costs over $200.
It's called "Buddha Jumps Over
the Wall" and contains ingredients
24/7
Hours the machines
like shark's fin, abalone, Japanese
flower mushroom, sea cucumber, dried
run to produce scallops, and pork. Who knew soups
Hershey's Kisses
could contain so much variety? Check out
ldsliving.com/souprccipes for five soup recipes
perfect for the winter weather. 8
70 million inside
short &
Hershey·s Kisses
produced daily in the simple
factory lethologica
12
►Fast Fact:
Have you ever found yourself telling a story to a
friend only to stop short because you can·t remem­ A Surprise
ber a simple word? You pause, maybe stutter a bit, Knighting
and lament, "It's on the tip of my tongue!" That is Marriott International, Inc. is the
an experience most of us can relate to, and there world's largest hotel company,
is actually a word for that brain block: lethologico.
The word is derived from two Greek words, lethe,
with more than 7,500 hotels in
over 110 countries across the
13
meaning "forgetfulness," and logo, meaning "word ... Romantic
Now ii only knowing the term would stop it from world. Learn about the hotel Scripture
happening! 8 chain's owner, Bill Marriott, on Lines
page 26.

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING 11

·····························l
! short & simple

A Surprise Knighting "You can't connect the dots

I n 1997, Erlend Peterson nervously welcomed His Excellency
Torn Vraalsen, ambassador of Norway, to BYU. The ambas­
sador had come to deliver a lecture, and Peterson was
nervous not many people would attend because it
had been organized on such short notice. A direct
descendant of the first Norwegian Latter-day
Saint convert, Peterson had been very influen­
tial in creating connections between Norway
and BYU and understandably wanted to please
the ambassador. To Peterson's surprise, they
entered a packed auditorium, which included
Peterson's family and many close friends. Puzzled
but pleased, he proceeded to introduce the ambas­
sador. Then Peterson got the shock of his life: The
ambassador praised Peterson's work with Norway and
then presented him with the Royal Norwegian Order
of Merit, Knight First Class. Peterson was speech less.
After the lecture, Peterson was surprised to learn
the luncheon he'd planned for the ambassador was
actuaUy to celebrate his new knighthood! e
looking forward; you can
only connect them looking
backwards. So you have
to trust that the dots will
somehow connect in your
future." -STEVE JOBS
Sticking with Plan A
It never hurts to have a plan B, right? Well, actually.
studies have shown that thinking through a plan
B reduces the effort you put into plan A-making
it less likely you·ll succeed with the original plan.
By creating a plan B. you are essentially planning
for plan A to fail, and that mindset will affect your
confidence. You will be more dedicated to trying
to succeed if you really believe the plan is going
to work. Thinking things through is important. but
you·re better off spending more time envisioning
success rather than anticipating failure. O

► Fast Fact: Meditation can

help reduce blood pressure and improve
your memory. Read more about the power of
stillness on page 19.

► JAN/FEB 1/1 1/9 1/20 1/23

------------------- ------------------- ------------------- ----------------

This 1752 1966 1985 1849

Date in T US flag seamstress
Betsy Ross is born
T The first Chinese
translation of the Book of
T The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints
T Elizabeth Blackwell
becomes America·s

History Mormon is presented to

President David 0. McKay
becomes the fifth largest
denomination in the US
first female doctor

12 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

 ··•·······.' ·········' ..... ·•·
----------------�-----
•·
- ..... ·•• ... --­
--------------·
.. ' ,
-- short & simple !:.:.:..:.:.:.:..:.:....:.:...
::..:_:_:·•·

THE MOST ROMANTIC

! LINES FROM SCRIPTURE
15 ! "\ 7alentine's Day often prompts grand, roman�c gestures. Generall
_ y,
_ scripture stori�s are far �rom the 1�i nd as
Days of celebration : V lovers try to plan the perfect date, but you nught be surpnsed at 1ust how romantic some of these ancient
stories are. Here are four verses perfect for this holiday.

20% "And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to
People in the world her" (Genesis 29:20).
who celebrate "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment" (1 JohJ1 4:18).
Chinese New Year
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it" (Ephesians 5:25).
"Thou shalt love thy wife with aU thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else" (Doctrine and
1/25 Covenants 42:22). e
When Chinese New
Year Will be cel­

How About
ebrated in 2020

2300BC As exci�ing as boardmg an airplane on your way to a new adven

The approximate year
Chinese New Year .fl_ the tood on your fught never seems to be a highlight. As it
originated is an explanation for why airplane food is so bland, even if you bring
First, airplane cabins tend to be set at colder temperatmes, and we do
cem flavors as well in the cold. Second, the smell of food also impacts
2020 tastes. Reduced air circulation and low moisture levels in airplanes�
The year of the rat on out your nasal passages and reduce your sensitivity to smell,
the Chinese New Year
which in tum reduces the potency of the flavors
calendar
in your food. There are some foods, how­
ever, that maintain flavor better at high
altitudes, including fresh citrus fruit and
spicy foods ]ke curry. e

"Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our

obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship."
-ELDER DIETER F. UCHTDORF

1884 1913 1798

T The first volume of the
Oxford English Dictionory
1s published
T The 16'" Amendment to
the US Constitution, which
gives Congress power to
collect income taxes, 1s
ratified
T Alvin Smith, Joseph
1835
T The Quorum of the
1833
T Joseph Smith
Sm1th·s older brother, is Twelve Apostles 1s orga­ receives revelation for
born in Tunbridge, Vermont nized in Kirtland. Ohio Doctrine and Covenants
89, which comes to
be known as the
Word of Wisdom

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 1020 LOS LIVING 13

 publisher's note

Do I Have a Divine Path?

One of the most brilliant gifts the gospel has given me is a confidence about the meaning of life and
an understanding of why we are here. I've known how to map out the plan of salvation on a chalk­
board for as long as I can remember. I know our purpose-the purpose of humanity. We are here to
gain a body and to learn and to grow so we can return to our heavenly home.
But may I admit something? Sometimes I struggle knowing what my purpose is. Now,
I don't want to get over dramatic here. I'm happy in my life and am grateful for the
many blessings I enjoy daily. What I am talking about, though, are the questions
many of us wrestle with. Do I have a personal calling? Am I focused on the right
things? Am I accomplishing what God needs me to do?
I was impressed while reading more about the life of Bill Maniott ("From
Business Titan to Bishop;' p. 26). When Bill was age 53, he was involved in a serious
accident that resulted in many burns on his body. He was given a priesthood blessing
by a family friend, Elder Boyd K. Packer, and was told in the blessing that his burns
would "se1ve some divine purpose, as yet unknown!' While reading about this expe­
rience, tl1ere was one tliing in particular that stood out to me: It was at least 10 years
before Bi.U was able to discern an answer to that promise.
"God's timing" is a phrase often used to communicate that promises don't always
come in our timeline and that just because something doesn't happen as quickly as
we think it should doesn't mean it won't happen. In fact, seeds are planted just in
tl,e act of trying. Testifying to tl1at is the miraculous story of a sister missionary who,
while se1ving, ran into a man who had been her grandfather 's investigator 30 years
earlier (''A Time to Sow and a Time to Reap;• p. 42). Sister Pitt was gifted the privilege
of helping the seeds that her grandfatlier planted many years earlier grow into fruit.
Both of these examples teach powerful principles of faith, hope, and patience. But
seeking guidance will also help provide clarity in our search to find our true purpose.
In an excerpt from her newest book, Tire Heavens Are Open, Sister Wendy Nelson
shares her insights on how to access personal inspiration ("The Power of Personal
Revelation:' p. 19). Also in this issue are some thoughts on mindfulness and medi­
tation for those who feel overwhelmed by all they have to do and find tl1emselves
getting lost in the business of life ("Finding Stillness in the Gospel," p. 53). Botl1
articles address ways we can learn more about what God really needs from us and
how we can discern His personal plan for us.
I think we sometimes want to know the answers to our questions and concerns
before we aJlow ourselves to experience tl1e process of revelation. But tl1e good news
is that when we are seeking and living by tl,e Spirit, we do not have to worry-faith
has us covered.
Bless us all as we pursue our individual and divine paths.

All my best,

Erin Hallstrom
Associate Publisher

14 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

 Considering what's at stake_,
why settlefor anything less than the best!

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ovin ?
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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING· 15

 in your words

From the November/December 2019 issue:

LDSLiving
Complementing your Lifestyle• JANUARY'FEBRUARY 2020
Votume 19 l:.Sue 105

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Erm Hallslrom

EXECUTIY.t EDITOR Morgan Jones
SENIOR EDITOR Jannalee Sandau
ASSOCIATE tDITORS Kalie Lamber!
Danielle Christensen

CONTRIIUTORS Kyle D. Anderson

Dale Van Alta
Jacob Z. Hess
Ty R. Mansfield
David T. Morgan
I was there in the UK. (still am)! Osmondmania! It was Wendy W. Nelson
Carrie L. Skarda
fantastic-I went to the Earl's Court concert in London. I
Hales Creative
still, to this day, say it was the best concert ever! There
DESIGN lo PRODUCTION

CltATIVE/ART DIRtCTOR Kelly Nield

was Donny, being swung over the fans' heads. I was in the DESIGN£RS Kelly Nield
Laci Gibbs
balcony way up! ... The family represents The Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with humility and ADV£1TJSING SALES Tiffani Thomson
Colleen DeRose
dignity. They are great ambassadors for the Church. The
Courtesy of Marriott
example that they show the world is who they really are!
COVER PHOTO

International
-Trudy Appleby, via Facebooli

Want more from LOS Living? Sign up for our free email newsletter at ldstiving.com.

We recently asked our social media followers what has strengthened

their relationship with Christ the most. We had many responses, but
here are a few that stood out:

The constant witness of tl1e Holy Spirit
in every aspect of my life. He really
is aware of everything about me. I
can feel His love even in the smallest
details. -Anita M. Mangum
Going tl1rough the repentance pro-
cess after 30 years of inactivity. Coming
through that and realizing that those
sins were no longer tl1ere, I know how it
feels to be really free. -Slielley Tonge
LOS Living magazine is an independent work and is not an official
publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The views expressed herein are the responsibility of the various
authors and do not necessarily represent the position of the
Church. Contributors include Church members and members of
other faiths. Copyright ©2020 LOS Living, a division of Deseret
Book. All rights reserved.

Contacting LOS Living magazine

My work in the temple for my Becoming active in church again and Mailing address, LOS Living magazine, P.O. Box 30178,
Salt Lake City. UT 84130 USA.
ancestors! -.Frank Jol111so11 seeking repentance and being forgiven.
-Sarai, Tervol1 For subscriptions, visit /dsliving.com or call 1-800-453.4532. For
editorial comments or queries, email editor@ldsliving.com. For
Recently, I would say the Come, Follow advertising, email odvertising@tdstiving.com or call 801-517.3166. 1

Me program. I truly have come to know
my Savior better and feel my relation­
ship growing witl1. Him every single
week. -Dit111e Pinter Sc111er
Find more responses and questions
on LOS Living's Facebook page.
Note: All co1111ncnts have been edited for clarity.
For customer service: email customerservice@ldsliving.com or
call 1-800-453.4532.
For Deseret Book Platinum customer service, email
service@deseretbook.com or call 1-800-453·4532.

16 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2010

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t Theta Wellness Center we are real people, supporting real clients.
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VIKING
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frploring the \florid i11 Comfort
 When we want to fill the
measure of our creation
more than we want
things of the world, the
heavens will open.

The Power of
Personal Revelation
If anyone has witnessed the power of revelation in action, it is President Nelson·s wife, Sister Wendy Nelson. But Sister Nelson's
testimony of personal revelation started long before she became a prophet's wife and included many difficult-and sometimes
heartbreaking-experiences. ADAPTED FROM THE HEAVENS ARE OPEN BY WENDY w. NELSON
---------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- -------- ------ ------- - --------------------

l am a believer. I do not remember ever

not believing in God, our Heavenly
Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in
the Holy Ghost.
I believe in the ministering of angels,
dreams that bring messengers and mes­
sages, words from hym ns that float into our
minds unexpectedly and yet exactly when
we need them, and scriptures that open
to answer the questions we most need to
have answered on a given day.
I believe in miracles. Actually, I count
on them.
And, at this point in my life, I be]jeve
that the Lord brings us the precise mira­
cles that will help us grow into our true
selves, and miracles that will help us do
His work.
I believe that in the temples of God we
can receive His power through ordinances
that enlighten our minds, invigorate our
spirits, heal our hearts and bodies, and
provide the eternal perspective that helps
things make sense.
Belief and Desire
I believe in the power of priesthood
blessings to heal. My widowed father was
given a "death sentence" by a doctor-a
specialist who told Dad that he had two
weeks to live because the colon cancer
(which had been excised 17 months earlier)
had metastasized to his liver, accompanied

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING 19

 . ·········· ······· .-·�·=··=·==c._.cc.=c=c.�··�···=·· .. ·······"'··==··.:c.;···=··································.__ ···-····· ·-·-··•·· ....····
by a total shutdown of his kidneys. My
father was told to go home and to get his
affairs in order.
Before he left the hospital, Dad
received a priesthood blessing from my
brother-in-law. My father was at peace
about his diagnosis and didn't want any
"heroics," so he received no radiation,
no chemotherapy, and no special diet
(although we tried to get as many chocolate
shakes into him as possible). He carried
on serving others as he had done alJ of his
kind, brilliant, gentle, and optimistic life,
and he continued receiving hemodialysis
for kidney failure. From time to time Dad
would say, "Doctors can give you a diag­
nosis, but they should never give you a
prognosis."
According to my father, his 15 minutes
of fame occurred on a September day fi've
111011ths after the doctor's two-week prog­
nostication, when, because he was starting
to look and feel better, I took him for an
ultrasound-guided liver biopsy. My father's
moment in the sun came when tl1e doctor­
who called in two other doctors because
he couldn't believe what he was seeing on
the ultrasound-said that he would not be
able to do the biopsy. Why? Because there
was no cancer present! Dad lived seven more
years, loving and learning eve1y day, bring­
ing joy to his family well into his 82nd year
of a wonderful life.
I also believe tl1at there are times when
the healing promised in a priestl1ood
blessing is a complete and total healing­
from the Lord's perspective. That blessing
of healing translates into people being freed
from all the suffering that accompanied
their afflictions and from tlle vicissitudes
of mortal life. How does that complete healing
happen? They are taken Home. This was
the case with my husband's daughter
Wendy on Januaiy 11, 2019.
I believe in the power of prayer. As
a grade-school child, I often wrote my
prayers on the doors of my parents'
wardrobe. It is fascinating to me that
they never said a word to discourage
me from tl1is (altl10ugh that was really
so characteristic of my parents). That
20 · LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020
----
············••····•·•···············
wardrobe was like a portal for me, linking we are together. Our covenants with
me and my earthly worries-"Please help God, including tl1e new and everlasting
me get an A on my math test"-to heaven. covenant of marriage, become more real to
I believe in tl1e power of fasting. When us eve1y day.
I was about 9 years old, the principle of So, what helped when things didn't
fasting resonated with me. So I began to fast tum out as I originally hoped or planned?
for many of the tests I took. My parents First and foremost, I knew my parents
never commented on what I was doing, loved me. That certainty cut through
just silently supported. I continued that eve1ything. Then, regularly doing all the
practice tl1Iough receiving my PhD degree. spiritually strengthening things that you
As I gained more experience witl1 fasting, I and I know to do kept me moving ahead:
learned that the Holy Ghost would bring praying, fasting, serving others, fulfilling
all things to my memory as I increased my Church assignments, and spending time in
spiritual sensitivities to His whisperings. the temple and in the scriptures.
Fasting seemed hke a good companion to Often the Lord's counsel to the Prophet
my studying. Joseph Smith helped me to look beyond
tl1e present during disappointing, really
tough, even frightening times: "All these
With all of that power things shall give tl1ee experience, and shall
be for tl1y good" (Doctrine and Covenants
available, and with 122:7).
my bedrock belief in
all of that power, does Unexpected Experiences
How has my life been blessed by various
that mean everything unexpected experiences? What are some
I have ever wanted in of the thjngs I learned?
my life has happened? I learned about the reality of life after
deatl1 when my long-awaited baby brother,
Hardly. David, lived only seven hours. On that first
day of my fifth-grade year, September 1, I
was thrilled witl1 the Polaroid picture my
I believe in Jesus Christ's power to dad had taken of David that morning when
cleanse and heal, redeem and strengthen he was born and immediately placed in an
us. I am so grateful to our Heavenly Father oxygen tent. I took tl1at photo with me to
for His plan of happiness, of continuing school to show all my friends. Later that
progression, which provided a Savior for day, as I walked home, I knocked on eve1y
us. And I will be forever indebted to Jesus door I passed and asked, "Would you like
Cl1Iist for coautl10ring and editing my life to see a picture of my baby brother?"
history. When I arrived home, I learned that
With all of that power available, and David had died. I was grief stricken. That's
with my bedrock belief in all of that power, when my grandmother took me into a
does that mean eve1ything I have ever private room where she and I could be
wanted in my life has happened? Hardly. together to talk and to cry. She told me
For example, I always knew tl1at I that she had been inconsolable when her
would many in my 20s and have 10 grandmotl1er Sarah had died. Then, sev­
children. As it turns out, I married in my \ eral months later, Sarah-now living on
mid-sos and am younger than the eldest of the otl1er side of the veil-visited Grandma.
' . ·my husband's 10 children. Sarah sat right on Grandma's bed. She told
The Lord was and is the Source of my grandmother to stop grieving and get
the love and hope and peace and joy on witll her life. Sarah was ve1y much alive
tl1at my husband and I feel now that and well.
 Tl1.e Book of Mor11.1.011.
1st Nephi brieftheological introductions

Slow down
Dive deeper
Find more
Rediscover the Book of Mormon
in twelve short books from
twelve remarkable scholars.

The Book of Mormon

brief theological introductions

FRESH. DEEP. FAITHFUL.

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From that moment on, even though I The heavens don't and careful and ponderous and
was sad-and became even sadder when I
saw how sad my mother was-I knew that
always open quickly, solemn thoughts can only find
them out. Thy mind, 0 man! if
David was alive. He was my brother and but they will ultimately thou wilt lead a soul unto salvation,
would alway s be my brother.
I learned that irony truly is "the hard
open. must stretch as high as the utmost
heavens, and search into and con­
crust on the bread of adversity," as Elder template the darkest abyss, and the
Neal A. Maxwell taught. I learned this received two master's degrees, worked full­ broad expanse of eternity-thou
when my mother-the woman who had time for nearly 25 years at Brigham Young must commune witl1 God.
taught others to open their eyes to see University, and served as organist as well as
so many of the beauties around them­ Primary pianist in whatever stake and ward The heavens don't alway s open quickly,
became blind! in which she has lived. She is one of my but they will ultimately open.
This seemed tragically ironic, as it was heroes. The powers of heaven have sus­ I've learned that the heavens will open when
my mother who would phone me from 150 tained her-helping her day aher day to do we take a question to general conference, when we
miles away and say, "Run out and look at the impossible. take a question to tlie scriptures, wl1en we pray
then10on!" wit/1 real intent and faitli in Cl1rist, and wl1e11 we
Mom was fascinated with nature and The Heavens Will Open make a sacrifice to tlie Lord.
the solar system. A big fat yellow moon I have learned how the Lord orchestrates The heavens will open wlien we open our
rising up from the prairie horizon stirred our lives when we are seeking to do His computers to do family history researc/1-so
her soul, as did the thinnest crescent moon will. When we want to fill the measure of much so tl1at I have learned to keep a pad
high in the sky. From the aurora borealis our creation more than we want things of of paper close by to capture thoughts
to a robin in the rain, no constellation or the world, the heavens will open. Michael that come to me as I seek the qualifying
creature seemed to go unnoticed by my McLean's lyrics are true for me: information for my ancestors.
mother's all-seeing eyes. The l1eaoe11s a·re more likely to opeu when
And now she couldn't see! My dad All I ever wanted, we have fait/1 that they will. When we truly
helped her with her makeup and curled all I ever dreamed of, believe they will open, miracles happen.
her hair. Friends wrote letters for her that Everything I l1oped, President Nelson taught: "In tl1e
she wished she could write, and, in order and all the things I prayed for absence of experiences with God, one
to continue to learn, she listened to books Couldn't hold a candle can doubt the existence of God. So, put
on tape. For such an independent woman, to what I've been given, yourself in a position to begin having
accepting help from others involved a I've been given what I need. experiences with Hin1."
steep learning curve for Mom. But she We could paraphrase his words and say
learned, and those who helped her were Although all I've been given hasn't that in the absence of having experiences
also blessed because she found eve1y necessarily been all that I thought I wanted, with the heavens opening for us, we could
opportunity to teach and lih them. And the Lord has known exactly what I have doubt that the heavens will ever open for
she was so much fun! needed as well as wlien I needed tl10se us, and we could doubt tl1at they actually
I had the privilege of being at her blessings. What I have always needed, what open for others.
bedside on the spring morning when she I have sought for, has been for the heavens However, it is my testimony tl1at tl1e
departed. I pictured her bolting through to open for me. heavens are open.
the veil of death so eager to see her son Here are just a few of tl1e things I've They are open for tl1e prophet of the
David and other family members and discovered: Lord, and they are open for each and eve1y
friends on the other side. one of us as we do tl1e requisite spiritual
I have learned and continue to learn Tl1e lieave11s open when we seek. I am inspired work. o
about courage, determination, indefatiga­ to seek more diligently and witl1 more
bility, and resiliency by observing how my enthusiasm every time I recall the Learn more about accessing
younger sister lives her life. She has battled following words of the Prophet Joseph personal revelation in Wendy W.
Nelson·s new book, The Heavens Are
for the very breath of I ife I iterally all of Smith, the Lord's prophet of this last Open, available at Deseret Book
her life. stores and on deseretboak.com.
dispensation:
Virginia was born with a rare congeni­
tal anomaly that resulted in a chronic lung The things of God are of deep
condition. Undaunted, she studied and import; and time, and experience,

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 N
O ONE ON NEW
HAMPSHIRE'S
BEAUTIFUL
LARE WINN IPESAUREE
COULD HAVE SUSPECTED
THAT THE STILL AIR ON
A PEACEFUL SATURDAY
MORNING IN 1985 MIGHT
ALMOST PROVE LETHAL
FOR ONE OF ITS MOST
RECOGNIZABLE SUMMER
RESIDEN'rS, BILL MARRIOTT.
Bill's father, J.W. Marriott, had died just n days
earlier, and at his funeral in Washington, D.C., J.W.
had been eulogized by former President Richard
Nixon and evangelist Billy Graham. The audience
had been filled with family, friends, and luminaries
from government and business as well as leaders of
1 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
. After the funeral, the Marriott clan gathered
at their summer homes on the north side of Lake
Winnipesaukee, their place of refuge since the 1940s.
It was the only place 53-year-old Bill could truly
relax, as his then-$3.5-billion company, founded in
1927 by J.W. as a small root beer stand in Washington,
D.C., now had 140,000 employees around the world.
Branching out from his father's restaurant empire,
Bill had also built or bought 144 hotels and resorts,
turning Marriott into the largest company-owned
hotel chain in the United States and keeping Bill
busier than ever.
"GET OUT OF THE BOAT"
The Latter-day Saint community in Wolfeboro near the lake had been growing
slowly over the years and had finally built its own chapel. Before J.W.'s death,
Elder Boyd K. Packer, a close friend of the family, had promised J.W. that he
would personally dedicate the chapel, so after speaking at J.W.'s funeral, Elder
Packer joined the Marriott family at the lake on Friday, awaiting the Sunday
dedication services.
Bill had promised Elder Packer a ride on his boat, a baby blue Donzi Express
Cruiser, and after incessant daily winds had been whipping the lake into white­
caps, the calm Saturday seemed to be the perfect time to fulfill his promise.
IN THE MIDST OF THE CONFLAGRATION,
HE HEARD A CLEAR VOICE: "GET OUT }
OF THE BOAT!"
After breakfast, Bill went down to his boathouse to prepare the Donzi.
Refueling was routine for him, but the air was too still-there was no breeze to
disperse the gas fumes, and the vapors dropped down into the boat around Bill's
legs. He did not smell the accumulation, nor did he know that the ignition switch
was faulty. When he turned the power on to check the gas gauge, a spark ignited
the gas. The explosion rattled windows up and down the lakeshore, and the
flames enveloped Bill in a fraction of a second. Newspaperrep01iS'�ould claim
that he was blown out of the boat, but for Bill, fmiracle had occurred. In the
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 ScripturePlus
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 midst of the conflagration, he heard a clear voice:
"Get out of the boat!" Instead of being immobilized
by shock, he had jumped into the lake.
Badly burned, Bill stumbled out of the water
as his family rushed to help. At the hospital, Elder
Packer gave him a priesthood blessing, promising
that not onJy would Bill survive but that he would
not be scarred. Elder Packer also boldly pronounced
that the accident would have some divine purpose,
as yet unknown.

SUCCESS IS NEVER FINAL

During tl1e weeks of painful recovery, Bill had time
to reflect on tl1is life-altering event. He already had a
strong conviction about God, ilie healing sacrifice of
Jesus Christ, and the trutl1 of the Church that bore
the Savior's name. He knew without a doubt iliat he
had been miraculously saved, tl1at he was watched
over from on high, and tl1at he had an important
place in the world and a mission that included his
family, his friends, his church, and his larger family
of Maniott employees. He had felt many of these
things before, but tl1is literal "refiner's fire" had now
etched it deep into his soul.

EVEN AS BILL SPENT MONTHS

RECOVERING FROM HIS ACCIDENT,
HE NE VER FORGOT THE LESSON
!--------------------'
HE HAD LEARNED FROM HIS l
FATHER, THAT A LIFE OF EASE
IS AN ENEMY TO PROGRESS.

As he thought back over his life, he realized that

many tl1lngs about it had not been easy. Business
for him had always been a fiery battlefield with
competitors, price fluctuations, the labor market,
government regulation, and the seesaw of the
economy. Overarching that was the sometimes­
volatile relationship with his Depression-era father,
whose fear of debt led him to oppose many of the
daring business decisions Bill had made to build the
Marriott empire.
Though Bill couldn't know it, iliere were also
challenging years ahead tl1at would include 1.mbri­
dled growtl1 in ilie 1980s, a crippling recession
that would nearly cost him his company, and ilie

'
-; --- - ', 31
. '
challenge of terrorism in a post-9/11 world, not to
mention the loss of two heroic employees on that
terrible d ay when his Marriott hotel between the
Twin Towers was obliterated. He also could not see
that there would come a day when Marriott hotels
would number more than 7,000, making Marriott
the largest hotel management empire in the world.
Despite all of the experiences he had already had
and the ones he would face in the future, however,
his motto was always to get back to work.Even as
he spent months recovering from his accident, he
never forgot the lesson he had learned from his
father, that a life of ease is an enemy to progress.
Bill knows that setbacks and challenges are the key
to success. He healed from his burns and moved
forward, living by the motto his father often
repeated: "Success is never final."

DISCOVERING THE "DIVINE PURPOSE"

It would be another decade before Bill understood the blessing given to him by
Elder Packer, that his burns would serve a "divine purpose." In 1996, as a recog­
nizable Latter-day Saint, Bill was invited to add background to an interview of
President Gordon B.Hinckley by CBS's 60 Minutes reporter Mike Wallace. With
Bill on camera, Wallace raised the sensitive topic of Latter-day Saint temple
'garments. "Do you wear the sacred undergarments?" Wallace asked.
J "Yes, I do," replied Bill. "And I can tell you, they do protect you from harm:•
He then related the sto1y of the fire. "The boat was on fire. I was on fire. I was
burned.My pants were burned right off me. I was not burned above my knee.
Where the garment was, I was not burned .... My undergarments were not
singed:• Though not everyone who wears garments has an outcome like Bill's, the
I opportunity to share his experience caused him to th.ink back on Elder Packer's
blessing. The terrible accident on the boat had allowed him to testify on national
i television about the tender mercies of God and the power of the priesthood.
1
However, there were other purposes for which his life had been spared,
and the fire would not be the only time Bill responded to an angelic voice that
saved his life.

"GET OFF THE TRAIN"

In October of 1989, Bill was on his way from Washjngton to New York for a meet­
ing of one of tJ1e many corporate boards on which he served. Rather than flying,
he decided to take the train and catch up on his reading.Delayed by traffic get-
� ting to Washington's Union Station, Bill was afraid he might miss tJ1e train, so he
II asked his driver to wait a few minutes at the tJ1e curb, in case he needed to return.
\JI� had slept badly tl1e night before due to some chest pains, and his chest was
1· '� burning as he settled into his seat on tJ1e Amtrak Metroliner. Then he heard
\
 OUR rv,,�
tJ;nt �uurr
THE MAllRI01T-HOT
....,,..,.ANY'S 38TH YEAR
SHOPPES FAMILY
NEW5PAP...,

w. MARR1on JR., ELECTED PR

DEC. I, 1964
a voice tell him, "Get off the train!' It was the same voice that had told him J. 10 0

four years earlier to get off the boat. For the second time, Bill obeyed.His Es,;�; .
waiting driver raced him to the hospital, where tests showed Bill had
experienced a heart attack. A cardiologist performed a balloon angio­
plasty that saved his life.
"I had been the walking stereotype of the workaholic executive-too
little exercise and rest, too much work, and too many heavy d:i1111ers
too late at night;' he says. It would not be his last heart attack, and tl1e
hardest work he put into each recovery was to not work too much.His
empire was steadily growing with hotels, restaurants, airline catering,
industrial cafeterias, commercial cleaning, senior living communities,
amusement parks, and a cruise line. But his greatest work was always
going on behind these lofty endeavors.

MIXING RELIGION AND BUSINESS

In the background of Bill's busy life as a CEO was his busy life as a
Latter-day Saint, husband, father, bishop, stake president, or Area
Seventy.
Bill's ready acceptance of tl,e call to be bishop of the Chevy Chase,
Maryland, ward in 1975 may have been his greatest act of faith. He was
a globe-trotting executive with the weight of a growing international
corporation on his shoulders. In Bill's father's mind, tl1e calling was so
daunting for his son that, unbeknownst to Bill at the time, J.W. picked
up the phone, called his friend President Spencer W. Kimball, and
asked him to rescind the calling. President Kimball gently declined
tl,e request.

OFTEN BILL FOUND WAYS TO

USE HIS CORPORATE AND
PERSONAL RESOURCES TO
HELP WARD MEMBERS IN NEED.

Bill responded to his new calling by delegating, organizing, and using his
business skills at church to make sure the "ecclesiastical trains" ran on time. He
also learned to tap into a well of compassion tl1at was not commonly tl,e forte of a
corporate giant. The Chevy Chase Ward had a large contingent of Hispanic mem­
bers whose Spanish-speaking branch had been disbanded as they were absorbed
into the heavily Anglo and affluent Chevy Chase congregation.The Hispanic
members felt tl,ey had lost their footing, so Bill created a "translation bootl1;'
from which English-to-Spanish translations of sermons were transmitted via
headphones to the Spanish-speakers seated in nearby pews. When one of them
spoke from the pulpit, a simultaneous translation was piped into the chapel.
The devotion of those Hispank members touched him, as many in abject
poverty still paid tithing."I had these ...Soutl, American ladies come in and
give me their tithes of $5 or $10, lmow:ing that was maybe a full 10 percent
of all they'd made in a week;' Bill recalls. "It brought me to a much better

..
\ ---- - ', 33
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 understanding of the minimum wage workers in
my company, and I got a more empathetic feeling
for them-the kind of lives they were leading, the
/
problems they were having trying to raise their
families. The faithfulness of those Hispanic tithe
I
' payers in my ward has always been an anchor to me
, in troubled times. No guest.ion about it!'
\
The family motto for Bill's family was "no big
shots,'' and he was true to that as bishop as well as
executive. He was often the last to leave after a ward
social event, usually found with his family in the
church kitchen doing dishes and mopping floors.

FINDING "LOST SHEEP"

Reactivating "lost sheep" was a priority for Bishop
Marriott. It took more than a year to locate one inac­
tive woman, but Bill finally learned that she was
working in a local hospital. When he visited her
there, she was aloof. But once she revealed an inter­
est in music, Bishop Marriott asked her to join the
ward choir. She began coming to church, gradually
providing fellowship and service to others.
One man hadn't been to church in 16 years
when Bill finally located him. He was a heavy
smoker, addicted to coffee, and enjoyed wine. He
felt out of place attending ward meetings, but Bill
kept showing up on the man's doorstep and finally
said to him, "If you have a cup of coffee or a ciga­
rette, come to church anyway. We want you back."
The man did and was soon a regular rnernber of the
congregation again.
Bill learned to extend that same love and com­
passion to the active members of his ward. At the
corporate office, Bill could say, "Do it!" and his staff
would snap to attention. In his bishop's office, he
could say, "Do it. Do it. Do it,'' and the task still might
not get clone. He finally realized, "We'll just have to
remember that we're all volunteers. They don't get
paid for doing this. They're doing it because they
want to, and at the point they decide they don't want
to, you lose all control. We have to keep them want­
ing to!' Just as he had applied business skills in his
calling as bishop to help keep the ward organized,
he used what he learned in his calling to help his
business. Keeping people wanting to do things was
good for business. A CEO could extract success by
being a bully and acting like a prirna donna, but if
he could get people to act out of des.ire, then success
would more likely follow.
BLESSINGS ALL AROUND
Perhaps only in the Church could a Fortune 500 CEO
counsel with a neighbor about a deeply personal
issue one night and then report to work and make
multi-million-dollar decisions the next day.
''As bishop, I was dealing with every kind of thing
imaginable-marital problems, kids on drugs, people
in abject poverty who couldn't get jobs,'' Bill recalls.
At first, he wore himself out in the effort. H.is wife,
Donna, explains, "It took about six months before 44 u 4
he realized there was no way he could solve all
those problems. He wasn't a trained psychologist. He was just
one man. He decided he could do no more than the best he could, and pray that
would suffice!'
PERHAPS ONLY IN THE CHURCH COULD
A FORTUNE 500 CEO COUNSEL WITH A
NEIGHBOR ABOUT A DEEPLY PERSONAL
ISSUE ONE NIGHT AND THEN REPORT TO
WORK AND MAKE MULTI-MILLION-DOLLAR
DECISIONS THE NEXT DAY.
Often Bill found ways to use his corporate and personal resources to help
ward members in need. Once, he personally paid the airfare to send a young
ward member back home to Salt Lake City for psychiatric treatment. The ward
executive secreta1y was tasked with accompanying the y oung man. When they
changed planes in Chicago, the airport was bedlam. Suddenly, a staffer from Bill's
airline catering business appeared out of nowhere on instructions from "the boss"
and escorted the two men through security and onto their connecting flight.
The late business magnate and longtime friend of the Marriotts, Jon
Huntsman, noted, "The happiest I've ever seen Bill was when he was bishop­
when he was literally working around the clock with families who didn't have

'
---- _ · 35
'
......_,

THE FAMILY MOTTO FOR BILL'S
FAMILY WAS "NO BIG SHOTS," AND
HE WAS TRUE TO THAT AS BISHOP
AS WELL AS EXECUTIVE.
anything. He seemed to thrive in that atmosphere. He radiated a sense of inner
peace and contentment."
Looking back on her husband's time as bishop, Dom1a Marriott considers it
nothing short of miraculous that Bill could fit it all in. "When he became bishop,
I didn't know where he would find the extra time he needed to do it, but the Lord
blessed him to cany out his calling. We had a wonderful spirit in our home. He
was able to do what needed to be done as bishop, still keep up with his job, and
always be at home when he was needed."
INTERNATIONAL MISSIONARIES
Even with all of the blessings the Maniott family
received, the time-consuming calling could not
help but sap some of his energy. "He bad ve1y, very
long Sundays:• Donna recalls. "First there were the
church meetings, and then he'd stay after church
to counsel with people in his church office. After
that he'd make hospital visits or go to the mem­
bers' homes to talk with them. Then he'd go to work
Monday morning just wrung out. People couldn't
understand why he was so tired on Monday. They'd
all been out playing golf."
Later, Bill spent five years as a counselor in the
stake presidency and eight more years as president
of the Washington D.C. Stake. After that he served
15 years as an Area Seventy-at the time, the longest
any man had held the calling. Church leadership
often ran on meetings, and by the end of his service
in these callings, Bill was a master at conducting
them. He was never late. He always brought an
agenda, and when the items were covered, the meet­
ing was over.
In many respects, Bill was like any other member
of the Church with a calling-toiling without rnon­
eta1y reward, juggling family crises and work, and
dealing with frustration and setbacks. But unlike
many others, his unique position as a titan of indus­
try based in the US capital also allowed him and his
family to make a difference in the global arena.
By management agreement, Bill has continued
the requirement that every room in every Marriott­
managed hotel have a Book of Mormon on hand.
And eve1y time Marriott opened a new hotel over­
seas in countries where missionary visas were hard
to get, Bill would make sure a general authority of
the Church was there to greet the foreign dignitalies
at the grand openings. For example, Elder D. Todd
Christofferson credits the boost in Church-Mexico
relations to an introduction to Mexican President
Ernesto Zedillo at the opening of a Marriott hotel
in Mexico City. President Russell M. Nelson says
that Bill helped pave the way for missionaty work
in eve1y count1y where he planted a hotel. "[T]he
Marriott name carried so much weight with these
people:• says President Nelson. "They were doing
cartwheels to get Marriott hotels in their countries,
so when Bill hosted an activity, lending his name
and his great faith to the Lord's work, they came and
they listened."

36
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A LEGACY OF SERVICE
Bill's father, J.W., began this family tradition of working to expand the Church in
unique ways in the late 1960s, when he began lobbying Church leadership for a
temple in Washington, D.C. The plan was derailed in 1968 by a string of violent
riots in the capital sparked by the assassination of the Reverend Martin Luther
King Jr., prompting Elder Harold B. Lee to decide that a temple would have
to wait.
But J,W. was not finished. Two months after the upheaval, Church leaders
asked him to consider moving to Salt Lake City to take an unspecified calling.
Though the wily J.W. declined for health reasons, in the same breath he said he
would be happy instead to donate $500,000 for a temple in Washington. Five
months after that offer and seven months after the riots, President David 0.
McKay announced that the first temple built east of the Mississippi River since
the Nauvoo Temple burned down in the 1840s would be in the nation's capital.
Bill hosted dignitaries at the temple open house and later lent his name and
Rolodex to regular celebrations at the temple visitors' center.

BY MANAGEMENT
AGREEMENT, BILL
HAS CONTINUED THE
REQUIREMENT THAT
EVERY ROOM IN EVERY
MARRIOTT-MANAGED
HOTEL HAVE A BOOK OF
MORMON ON HAND.

The Marriott family sto1y is at once common

and extraordinary. Now at age 87, Bill's connections
are still golden and his conm1itment to his faith
and family unwavering, even as he has turned the
day-to-day management of the Marriott empire over
to others. He has never paused on any plateaus and
probably never will, always driven by his personal
conviction that success is never final. o

Learn more about the life of Bill Marriott in Dale

Van Alta's new book, Bill /.1arriatt, Success Is
Never Final-His Life and the Decisions Thal Built
a Hate[ Empire, available at Deseret Book stores
and on deseretbook.com.
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HOW A SISTER MISSIONARY AND HER DECEASED GRANDFATHER SERVED AS MISSION COMPANIONS

A Time to Sow
and a Time
toBeap HOW MUCH AT TENTION DOES HEAVENLY FATHER PAY TO OUR LIVES?
E NOUGH TO PLACE ONE SISTER MISSIONARY IN THE POSITION TO FIND
AND TEACH SOMEONE HER GRANDFATHER HAD TAUGHT THE GOSPEL
TO MAN Y YEARS BEFORE AND SEVERAL CONTINENT S AWAY.

BY MORGAN JONES

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LDS LIVING 43

 I F: ANY ONE OF MANY VARIABLES HAD GONE DIFFERENTLY, KATIE FITT NEVER WOULD HAVE
MET CHANGE LEE* ON A MUGGY SUMMER NIGHT ON THE STREETS OF FLUSHING QUEENS,
NEW YORK. FOR STARTERS, CHANGE WAS ORIGINALLY FROM SOUTH KOREA AND LIVED IN
CANADA, BUT HE WAS IN NEW YORK ON BUSINESS. AND FITT ALMOST DIDN'T SERVE A MISSION.
YET, THERE SHE WAS WEARING A BLACK NAMETAG ON NORTHERN BLVD WHEN SHE AND HER
COMPANIONS APPROACHED CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER HAVING ANY SORT OF SPECIAL
PROMPTING TO TALK TO CHANGE IN PARTICULAR-SHE SIMPLY FELT THEY SHOULD TALK TO ONE
MORE PERSON BEFORE THEY CALLED IT A NIGHT. AND WHEN THEY DID, IT BROUGHT A MIRACLE
FULL CIRCLE-ONE THAT HAD STARTED 55 YEARS EARLIER.

THE F RST MIRACLE "He was a force to be reckoned with-no obstacle was too
It was early March 1961 when Br uce Grant faced a dilemma. The big for hin1, and he had an extraordina1y energy and passion for
young missiona1y knew that one more hour remained in proselyt­ moving the work fo1ward," Taylor says, recalling that every Friday
ing time, but he and his companion had been stood up for their night, Kim hosted firesides that were open to the public and drew
last batch of appointments in the South Korean church building hundreds of people to hear him teach the gospel of Jesus Christ.
that doubled as their residence. Grant recalls, "I'd done more
than my missionary duty that day. I'd arisen at 4 a.m., and man­
datory turn-in time was only an hour away. There was no more Ki11i tti1ight his 1nissio1ia,�ies
proselyting to be done at that late hour and in that bitter cold.
Yet something compelled me to face my junior companion's ire, to be bol<l, b1it lie also ta1iglit
something outside myself. 'Elder, let's go out and do some street
contacting.' He looked at me with Are you crazy? in his eyes, but I the1n to love by exam11le.
was the senior companion!'
Grant had no way of knowing as they walked into wind that
whipped at their faces that they were about to come in contact
with a man, Kim ChaBong, who would go 011 to make an incalcu­
lable impression on the Church in South Korea. Even upon first
seeing Kim, he just looked like an ordinary college student, but
he accepted the missionaries' invitation to come inside the church
building to escape the cold. That night, Grant and his companion
spent over an hour teaching Kim about Joseph Smith and his
role in restoring the gospel of Jesus Christ. The rest, as they say,
is histo1y, as Kirn ChaBong went on to become the first native
Korean bishop in South Korea and later a mission president
from 1980 to 1983.
"It would be difficult to overstate the enormous impact that
President Kim has had on the growth of the Church in South
Korea;' says current South Korean mission president Brad Taylor,
who served as a young missiona1yunder Kim. "[Kim's] three­
year mission president term remains the highest baptizing period
in the hfato1yof South Korea. Under his amazing leadership,
missionaries in Korea were baptizing 2.,000 people eve1yyear!'
Taylor rernem bers Kirn as "small in statm·e" but "a spiritual
giant." Kim taught his missionaries to be bold, but he also taught
them to love by example.

44 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

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 Kim also beUeved in having fun, often holding mission confer­
ences at the beach. While serving as Kim's assistant, Taylor recalls
his mission president waking him up early one morning and say­
ing that they were going to make a teimis court that day. The Seoul
South Korea Temple's celestial room now sits on the very spot
where their old makeshift tennis court once stood.
Over 500 people attended Kim's funeral in Utah, despite it
being nearly 61000 miles from his home in South Korea. AB Taylor
puts it on behalf of all those whose Uves Kim touched, "Those
of us who served with hin1 would all Uke to borrow from OUver
Cowdery and say that 'Those were days never to be forgotten.' We
miss him with all our hearts, and we will love him forever!"
Ove1,. lJOO 11eople
attencled Kim's Jitne1,.al
i1i Utah, des11ite it bei1ig
1iearly 6,000 miles from
his home in Soiith Korea.
46 · LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2010
THE SECO D MIRACLE
Fast forward to 2014. For Katie Fitt, playing tennis at BYU was
a dream come true. She came to the school as a top 100 tennis
recruit-a two-time state champion in the sport. But while regis­
tering for classes, Fitt was drawn to the mission preparation class.
She was originally attracted to the class because of the appeal of an
easy A, but as she listened to Michael Goodman teach about serv­
ing a mission, she began to feel a desire to serve herself. When she
was injured her freshman year, she wondered if it was a sign that
she was meant to serve and if she should just abandon tennis and
go on a mission, but her father encouraged her to take the time to
recover and make the decision independent of her injmy.
She trained for her sophomore year as if she intended to come
back to BYU, but she couldn't shake the desire to serve a mission.
She knew what this would mean for her; no female tennis player
in the history of BYU sports had left to serve a mission. But temli.s
was the only thing holding her back from serving. In the encl, her
coaches promised to bold her spot while she went on a mission
but made it clear that remaining on the team would be dependent
on her performance when she returned. With that promise, Fitt left
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 Her call to serve a Korean-speaking mission in New York was a Fitt and her companions met with Change later the following
thrill, as Fitt's mother is originally from South Korea, but she soon day and he was baptized just a few weeks later on September 17,
learned that being a Korean-speaking missionary in the United 2016.

States is not easy. "I was able to witness the baptism of my grandpa's investiga­
"They are amazing and I love them, but they are not very tor," Fitt wrote after returning home from her mission. "I know
receptive," Fitt says of the Korean people in Flushing, adding that my grandpa was there watching from above and overjoyed that
she and her companions would often street contact for five to six Change had finally made the decision to follow Christ's example:'
hours each day, talking to hundreds of people. "We found many
people that were ready to hear the gospel, but almost none of them
were Korean."
When they saw Change Lee, he was walking toward a Korean
l1i ti city o,f ove111 8.11 niillion
supermarket. He irnrnedi.ately recognized them as missionaries, 11eo11le, she h<ttl ,,_,,in i1ito
which was unusual, and said, "You are the Mormons, right?" And
then he continued, "I know all about you. I used to meet with mis­ so1neone lie111 g11tt1it1Jiitli
1
er litttl
sionaries back in Korea and in Canada. I used to talk with a man
named Kim ChaBong all the time about the Church. Talking with ta1iglit ove,11 30 yett11s1 eti1 11lie1 11
him made me actually start believing, but it's been a long time
since I have thought about it:' Fitt was immediately caught off­ i1i tinot/ier of tlie 1vo1 11ltl's
guard, "Kim ChaBong?" she asked. "That is my grandfather:•
But Change just kept talking, "Kim ChaBong was a mission largest cities 1iett111ly 7,000
president in Korea. He really is a wonderful man. I learned a lot
from him. He wrote a book I studied a lot as well." Meanwhile, Fitt
miles ciwciy.
was blown away. In a city of over 8.5 million people, she had run
into someone her grandfather had taught over 30 years earlier in
another of the world's largest cities nearly 7,000 miles away. "Wow,
this is incredible that you really know my grandfather;' she said in
an attempt to help Change recognize the miracle they were expe­
riencing. "Kim ChaBong is Korean, you are not;' was Change's
response. His assessment made sense. Fitt's father is American, so
she bears an American last name along with an appearance that
is easily mistaken as full-American, but she knew how to prove
her identity and pulled out the family picture she carried with her.
Change was then convinced of her relation to Kim ChaBong and
was kind to the missionaries, but respectfully declined when
they asked for his contact information. Fitt persisted. She told
him she just wanted to tell her parents about the coincidence
of meeting him and would love to keep in touch. He finally
relented but made it clear that he had no interest in the Church.
That night before bed, she told her companions that she
felt she should text him. They reminded her that he was pretty
adamant about not wanting to be bothered, but Fitt still didn't
believe their meeting was a coincidence. "Do you realize he knew
my grandpa?" she responded. They finally determined they had
nothing to lose, so Fitt sent a simple text telling Change how nice it
was to meet him. They had no expectation of a reply, but the next
morning she and her companions woke to a text from him.
"He had been lying in bed for hours and couldn't sleep because
be felt that meeting us really wasn't a coincidence. Out of the mil-
lions of people in the world, it didn't seem possible that we just
happened to run into each other. He really felt that maybe it was
fate or destiny;• Fitt recans.

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING 49

 LA TING AND HARVEST! G SEEDS
While Katie Fitt was serving as a missionary,her mission president
JVe 1vill 1ieve,,. know excictly
knew that not all areas or assignments in his mission were created lio1v 1nti1iy of tlie seetls tliat we
equally in terms of teaching opportunities, so he felt inspired to
add a unique number for the missionaries to report each day: 11la1it-eve1i if it is just ti 11ass­
seeds planted.
This meant that missionaries kept count of any time they were alo1ig ca,,.tl wlie,,.e you miglit
1iot eve1i get to stiy ti1iytlii1ig-
able to offer someone the gospel of Jesus Christ in some way.Fitt
recognizes this as what her grandfather did 30 years earlier.
"Change Lee being a seed 30 years prior and now finally bloom­
ing gave everyone hope that miracles like this really do happen,''
1vill encl 1111 [gro1vi1igj.
Fitt says. "We will never know exactly how many of tl1e seeds iliat
we plant-even if it is just a pass-along card where you might not
even get to say anything-will end up [growing]:' "I feel like Heavenly Father was so aware of me too on my
Change's is a story that spans decades,a story of a grandfatl1er mission,because although we tried not to get discouraged,it was
planting and his granddaughter "plucking up that which is planted " hard not having a lot of people to teach ...and so it just felt like
(Ecclesiastes 3:2). Heavenly Fatl1er was blessing the whole branch, blessing us as we
"I feel iliat President Kirn taught me humbly and reverently and tried not to give up and tried to have faith in finding."
that he had a profound understanding of tl1e Bible and the Book of Fitt concludes,"It's not just me, [Heavenly Father] loves every
Mormon,'' Change says of Fitt's grandfather. Of Fitt, he adds, "Katie individual equally ...so much that no matter what we're going
was such a hardworking missionary. The constant smile on her face through,He is aware,and He has a plan for us:' e
and her enthusiasm for life are infectious.I truly love President
Kim ChaBong and his granddaughter!' * The names of Change Lee a11d Kim ClwBong follow the Sout/1 Korean
Two and a half years later,Change is an active member of the co11ventio11 of listing last names first.
Church in Canada and says tl1e gospel has continued to teach him
many things that have eruiched his life.
"I've been blessed by having tl1e guidance and fellow-
ship of missionaries and members.... I've also learned
many important truths,such as the visit of tl1e resur­
rected Christ to tl1e American continent to teach
His gospel," Change says."I was also excited to
learn more about the degrees of glory that are
available to tl10se who live a faithful life on
eartl1. I also learned about ilie benefits of
the Word of Wisdom. Proxy baptism for
tl1e dead taught me iliat Christ is saving
botl1 the living and the dead."
Meanwhile, Fitt has had plenty
of time for iliis experience to sink in.
Today, she recognizes it as a manifesta­
tion of God's love,botl1 for her and for
Change Lee:
"This story is a story that I can
hold on to forever, because any time
anyiliing goes w,:ong or [I'm] discour­
aged, it helps to remember that God was
so involved in the process of Change Lee
being baptized,from bringing so many
different people to his life to the little detail
of meeting my grandpa's grnnddaughter in
NewYork.

50 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

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 ---- -----

f'....,

In our attention to the

many needful things
to do as members
of Christ's Church,
sometimes the many
opportunities Saints
have to stop doing are
overlooked.

Finding Stillness
in the Gospel
The fact that Latter-day Saints do so much has led some to joke that LOS stands for "Latter-day Sprinters," with others
questioning whether Latter-day Saints are trying to "work their way to heaven." For Latter-day Saints who reach a point of
exhaustion, however, this is no joke-prompting wonderings like: ··1s this what God really wants for me? Will I be able to even
keep this up?"" ADAPTED FROM THE POWER OF STILLNESS: MINDFUL LIVING FOR LATTER-DAY SAINTS BY JACOB z. HESS, CARRIE L.
SKARDA, KYLE D. ANDERSON, AND TY R. MANSFIELD

E lder Richard G. Scott once shared:

"Many voices from the world in whjch
we I ive tel1 us we should live at a frantic
pace. There is always more to do and more
to accomplish. Yet deep inside each of us
is a need to have a place of refuge where
peace and serenity prevail, a place where
we c an reset, regroup, and reenergize to
prepare for future pressures!''
Rather than prioritizing refuge, our
tendency is often the reverse. Sister Sharon
Eubank has acknowledged, "I am a maxi­
mizer, so I tend to think if one is good, five
is better, and ten is best, and then I am
completely overwhelmed." Sister Reyna
Aburto has also spoken of creating long
lists for herself on the weekends that never
seemed to relieve the pressure, saying, ".l
felt that I was never done!'
We [Jacob, Carrie, Kyle, and Ty] have
often heard the private cries of people for
whom a sense of never being able to do or
be enough has left them feeling hurt and
alienated from God. And yet, in some cases,
well-intentioned leaders have advised
overwhelmed people that the solution is

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING 53

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to "do" more. As a ·1ocal leader asked in one
of our wards, "What is your temple atten­
dance? Double it. How much time do you
spend visiting? We've got to double it:'
Sometimes more effort is needed, of
course. But other times doing more might
step beyond the "wisdom and order" of
the gospel {Mosiah 4:27)-leaving people
depleted and spiritually vuL1erable.
Flattening Worship
A young Latter-day Saint mother
recounted: "[I was] going, going,goi11g,
serving as Ptimary president, doing every­
thing, involved in everything, volunteering
for everything, and feeling. So. Tired. My
thought processes were along the lines
of 'I must not be praying enough. Or
serving enough. Or reading m y scriptures
long enough."'
After she had pushed herself to the
point of contracti11g mononucleosis, her
husband one day said, "This is 11ot what
Heavenly Father expects of you!"
Author Wendy Uh·ich notes, "God
doesn't burn out or use up one person
to 'save' another; that's just not God's
economy."2 Pastor Christopher Ash like­
wise argues that when we serve or take
on more than God has actually assigned
us, without acknowledging our limits and
need for rest, we are demonstrating a dis­
trust in God's ability to "handle it" without
our "help." He calls rest "an exercise in
trust," adding, "God has already appointed
his Messiah, and he did not appoint you." 3
Although all believers k11owsuch divine
help exists, our customa1y language often
directs attention largely to our own actions.
For example, instead of communing with
God, we speak of "getting a chapter done,"
"saying a prayer," or "doing a session" at the
temple. In what ways mjght this kind of
language inadvertently change what we're
actually hoping to experience?
Opportunities to Stop
In our attention to the many needful
thi11gs todo as members of Ch list's Church,
sometimes the many opportunities
Saints have to stopdoing arc overlooked.

Compared to a typical modern schedule,
think of all the opportunities we have to
stop: the Sabbath, personal prayer and
scripture study, family meals, family prayer
and scriptures, date night, family home
evening, sacrament, the temple, and more.
Wow! Eve,·y one of these events is
a prime "stopping tirne"-especially if
we approach it in that way. Rather than a
divinely prompted pause in our stream
of doing-many-other-things, however,
these sacred practices often still remain
just-011e-111ore-thi-11g-to-do.
What would happen to us emotion­
ally and spilitually if we approached each
of these spiritual practices as intentional
moments of respite and sanctua1y?
lnstead of "all these things to do,"
imagine approaching each of these sacred
practices "on purpose, in the present
moment, nonjudgmentally, as if our lives
depend on them."4 In this way, we can
come to experience:
W hat it feels like to kneel before God
not simply to say more words-but also,
to rest in His presence in stillness and
silence.
What it's like to sit down as a family
not simply to "get a chapter done"-but
instead, to hold scriptural text as an
anchor to focus minds and hearts and
facilitate an ongoing exploration about
God's hand in our lives.
W hat it's like to go to the temple not
to "do a session"-but instead to stop
cloi11g-and to enjoy being in the haven
of God's home, pondering His creative
work in the world and in our lives.
None of these possibilities, of course,
are foreign.References to a spacious,
heart-fulJ approach to gospel living are
laced throughout scriptural and general
conference teaching.But that doesn't make
it easy to practice! As President Gordon B.
Hinckley said:
We live in a very mad world when
all is said and clone. The pressures
are tremendous. We fly at high
speeds. We drive at high speeds.We
program ourselves.... But there is
hardly time to reflect and think and
pause and meditate. I daresay that
most of those in th.is room today
have not taken an hour in the last
year to just sit clown quietly, each
[one i11cliviclually] ... reflecting
upon his place in this world, upon
his destiny, upon his capacity to do
good, upon his mission to make
some changes for good.We need to.
I recall so vividly President McKay
in his old age in a meeting with his
counselors and the Twelve saying,
"Brethren, we do not spend enough
time meditating."
"I believe that with all my heart;" President
Hinckley added, while also acknowledging,
"Your needs and your tastes along these
lines will vary witl1 your age. But all of
us need some of it." 5 Do yo1t have some
of it? The good news is that nunclfulness
is absolutely eve1ywhere within the
l
restored gospel, as long as we are wiling to
recognize it.
Latter-day Mindfulness
One reason tl1at the nundfulness of Latter­
clay Saint living sometimes remains hidden
is that we have a different language to
describe how to cultivate stillness.For
instance, the Latter-day Saint version of
"practice minclfuL1ess regularly" sounds
more like "read the scriptures and pray
daily:' Our version of "it's really valuable
to prioritize regular retreat" is instead "be
in the temple often." "Pondering" is also
typically used instead of "meditation" and
"reverence" instead of references to silence
or stillness. Once we begin to translate
into familiar terms, the powerful parallels
become evident.
Rather than incessant excuses to "keep
going" and "keep doing," so much of Latter­
day Saint faith practice can be legitimately
experienced as ever-ready excuses to stop
meaningless busyness and instead to sit
with loved ones, sit with neighbors, and
especially to sit at the feet of our Lord and
........ . . ...............
His Father ...whether or not ditmer gets
done on time!
Ratl1er than something to "finish,"
prayer can become a sacred practice of per­
sonal retreat. Instead of something to "get
through:' scripture study can be a divine
communion assisted by His words. And tl,e
Sabbath itself can become a relished mind­
fulness retreat happe11.ing each week, right
within the walls of our own homes and
chapels. In each case, these practi.ces can
become life-changit1g anchors it1 a larger
culture swirling around us with hurricane
force.As Elder Scott taught, "Without
tl1ese regular practices it will be difficult to
find tl1e desired and much-needed peace
and refuge from the world:•0
Rather than merely expanding activity
or busyness, living the gospel can be
experienced as a set of deeply restorative
practices that help to cultivate more
stillness it1 our lives-and all the divine
it1spiration and it1timacy tl1at can arise
from just a bit more calm and space. e
Notes
1. Richard G. Scott, "For Peace at Home:·
Ensign. May 2013.
2. Personal correspondence in the authors· pos­
session. Carrie Skarda with Wendy Ulrich.
3. Christopher Ash. Zeal without Burnout
[Charlotte, NC: The Good Book Company.
20161. 51. 62.
4. Part of Jon Kabat-Zinn·s definition of mind­
fulness, from: Full Catastrophe Living: Using
the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face
Stress. Pain. ond Illness [New York: Bantam
Books, 19901, xxxvii.
5. Most of this quote comes from Teachings of
Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret
Book, 19971, 3341. except for President
McKay·s specific counsel. which comes from
a later version of the account in a 1999 First
Presidency Message [""Life's Obligations."
Ensign. February 1999). in which President
Hinckley added the other line.
6. Scott. ··For Peace at Home ...
Learn more ways to bring peace into
your life by reading the brand-new
THE book Power of Stilfness: Mindful
Living for Loiter-day Soinls by
POW ER Jacob Z. Hess. Carrie L. Skarda.
of Kyle D. Anderson, and Ty R.
STILLNESS
Mansfield, available at Deseret Book
stores and on deseretbook.com, For
more resources on this topic, includ­
ing podcast episodes with the
authors. check out ldstiving.com/
stillness.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING 55

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 If you build the
courage and humility
to add "but if not,"
the burden of action
becomes shared
between deity and the
petitioner.

3 Words to Carry You

Through Mental and
Physical Suffering
"But if not" were the three words that changed my son·s attitude toward leaving his mission early because of anxiety and
depression. What are the implications of these three words for our own lives, particularly when we are dealing with challenging
mental health and relationship issues? BY DAVID T. MORGAN, PHD
- - ---- --- ---------------- -------- ------ ---------------- ------------ -- ---------------------- ---------------- --------- -------------------

O ur son returned home early from his

mission due to anxiety and depres­
sion symptoms. His early return was the
culmination of weeks of discussions with
his mission president and medical profes­
sionals who determined that the best thing
would be for our son to come home.
In the time leading up to that decision,
our son was praying fervently, asking
the Lord to permit him to remain on
his mission. However, his perspective
changed when he remembered the story
of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.
These three young men were captives in
Babylon who were being forced to worship
the pagan gods of King Nebuchadnezzar.
The faithful youths refused to worship as
directed and were consequently sentenced
to death by fire. Our son was likely only a
few years older tl1an these young men. The
mighty king confronted them, asking, "Is

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING 59


it true that you refuse to worship my gods,
knowing full well that the punishment for
such refusal is death?" The situation would
have been terrifying.
Oftentimes, I find
my prayers are heavy
on "ask and ye shall
receive" and light on
"not as I will, but as
thou wilt."
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
exercised courage beyond their years. They
told the king that they would not bow
down to his gods. Further, they expressed
great confidence in the fact that their God
60 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020
would be able to deliver them from the
flames. "Our God whom we serve is able to
deliver us from the burning fiery furnace,
and he will deliver us out of thine hand,
0 king" (Daniel 3:17). But what they said
next holds a critical key for our ongoing
happiness and well-being. "But if not, be it
known unto tl1ee, 0 king, that we will not
se1ve thy gods, nor worship the golden
image which thou hast set up" (Daniel 3:18,
emphasis added).
This is the thought that came to our
son's mind the night before he knew he
would return home early from his mission.
Although he had asked the Lord in prayer
to be able to stay, he said, "But if not, please
bless me that I'll be able to get through
this and become tlie kind of person I
need to be." It brings me to tears to think
about that sacred moment, our son on his
knees, turning his will over to his Father in
Heaven. When he returned home, I clearly
remember seeing him walk down tl1e air­
port security exit and feeling overwhelmed
with pride and love. Surely this is a taste of
what our own experience will be like when
we exit tliis life and ultimately return to
the presence of our Heavenly Father.
But If Not
We are taught in scripture to ask and we
will receive, but at the same time, we are
taught to make our will secondary to the
will of God. Think about the tinle the
Savior spent in the Garden of Gethsemane.
Those critical, remarkable hours were
likely some of the most excruciating of His
perfect life. As the weight of all human
suffering from sin and other human
frailties began to exert its crushing load,
our Elder Brother practiced tl1e same prin­
ciples of prayer He had taught. First, He
asked: "0 my Father, if it be possible, let
this cup pass from me" (Mattl1ew 26:39). In
that moment, tlie Savior evidently won­
dered whether it was essential for Him to
have that experience right then. Was there
another way? All He could do was ask to
see if His loving Father would honorably
excuse Him from this very difficult task.
Yet, before finishing His plea, He humbly
concluded with another essential prin­
ciple of prayer: "Nevertheless not as I will,
but as thou wilt" (Mattl1ew 26:39). Put into
the language of Shadrach, Meshach, and
Abednego, it could read, "I know you are
able to deliver me from this trial, but if not, I
will continue to do as you have asked."
Oftentimes, I find my prayers are heavy
on "ask and ye shall receive" and light
on "not as I will, but as thou wilt!' I have
known many, many people who have ques­
tioned why they suffer from mental health
issues. They are faithful members of the
restored church of Jesus Christ who are
striving to keep their covenants. They have
prayed in faith. Some of their pleas might
sound similar to yours:
"Heavenly Father, why do I feel so
depressed? Please bless me so that I can be
happier and not so sad all the time!'
"Heavenly Father, I've tried to be a
faithful wife/husband, and yet my spouse
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 . . . . . . . . .... . . . . .
still has issues with pornography: Please
bless them so they will stop looking at
such things."
"Heavenly Father, my anxiety keeps me
from going to church. Please take my fears
away so I can do those things I should be
doing."
There's nothing wrong with asking for
such righteous desires-as we've already
discussed, we've been commanded to do
so. God will bless us with those things
that we need and that are best for our
eternal development, which is the "receive"
portion of asking. However, the timing of
those blessings can be frustrating. What
if we started adding but if not to each of
our pleas? I think that simple addition,
if done in faith and humility, could lead
to greater patience and understanding.
For example, let's add it to one of the
statements above. "Heavenly Fatl1er, why
do I feel so depressed? Please bless me
so that I can be happier and not so sad
all the time. But if 11ot, I will continue to
keep thy commandments and t1y my best
to improve daily." That modest inclusion
makes a dramatic change to the overall
feeling and essence of the prayer. Here
are two ideas on how adding these simple
words can help us progress.
Humility Yields Peace
There is an explicit act of humble accep­
tance in the but if 11ot statement. AB
someone who has always wanted a large
degree of control in We, I find myself pray­
ing frequently for certain things. l ask the
Lord to bless my family i:n specific ways. I
ask Him to prosper my business. I ask Him
for inspiration in what to say when I write
articles and books. I don't have a problem
with asking. I have a small problem in
waiting for the answer. The period of time
between the asking and when I feel I get
an answer can be a long time of anxiety
and stress. My mind is filled with tho ughts
such as: Is He going to answer my prayer? Will
it work out like I wa11t it to? Wlwt will l,appen if
it takes longer them I tl1i11k or if tl1e Lord goes i11
another direction? Those times can be pretty
tough to manage. Yet by adding but if not
to my pleas, it shows I've already prepped
myself for the answer that I don't really
want. Whereas before I was anxiously
fearing the undesired outcome, now I can
more peacefully acknowledge that I can
be content with an alternative tl1at was
not what I hoped for. And in my deep-
est places of testimony and faith, I truly
believe that Heavenly Fatl1er loves me and
will never do sometl1ing tl1at is going to
hinder my growtl1. Even though I don't
fully understand His ways, I trust tl1ey are
for tl1e best. His interventions for all of His
children are perfect, merciful, and expertly
crafted for our optimal development. As
we humbly ask for what we want and need,
and with greater humility add but if 11ot, we
acknowledge our willingness to accept His
will and further receive the peace of know­
ing that dungs will eventually work out.
----------- --------------------- --------- ------------ - - - ------------------- ------------- -
There is always something we can do to improve
our situation and change our behavior.
Accountability Inspires Action
Sometimes we get stuck in our behaviors,
feeling tl1ere is nothing we can do to
overcome challenges and difficulties. As
a psychologist, I see tl1i.s all tl1e time with
mental health issues. People talk about
how they have suffered from certain
mental healili conditions for years, per­
haps for as long as they can recall. They
reference how their parents and grandpar­
ents had sinillar issues. I don't debate such
l1i.stories-the combination of possible
genetic influences and certain learned
responses can create patterns of behavior
that are lughJy res.istant to change. But that
does not mea11 change is 110t possible; it just means
it is more difficult. There is always sometl1ing
we can do to improve our situation and
change our behavior.
Let's return to the former example of
adding but if 11ot to a prayerful plea.
"Heavenly Father, why do 1 feel so
depressed? Please bless me so that I can be
happier and not so sad all the time. But if
11ot, I will continue to keep Thy command­
ments and strive to find ways to manage
depression and rely on Thee." The first
part of the prayer asks for help but leaves
tl1e assistance por tion squarely in God's
control. If that were the end of tl1e prayer,
then the person could rightly dunk, "Well,
I'll see if God decides to lift my depression.
If He doesn't, tl1en I guess there's nothing
I can do!' But if you build tl1e courage and
humility to add but if not, the burden of
action becomes shared between deity and
the petitioner. It may help you think, "I
hope that God will help lift my depression.
But in the meantime, I will do my best to
do my part and keep my covenants." There
is hope in purposeful action. It provides us
a measure of control, meaning, and deter­
mination that is very different from tl1e
feelings that come from passively waiting.
Being accountable for our own lives helps
us move forward, even as we wait for
heaven to answer our prayers.
Our Failier in Heaven loves us so much.
From the sacrifice of His Only Begotten
Son to the incomparable beauty of a sim­
ple butterfly wing, tl1e evidence of His love
surrounds us. He will answer our prayers. But
as we have the faitl1 and humility to pre­
pare for answers contrary to our desires,
we will ac11i.eve spiritual growtl1, stronger
faith, and increased peace to help us along
from day to day: e
Dr. Morgan is the author of 14y Gad
MYGOD
-�
Hath Been 14y Support, Seven Keys to
-lwtl,ln.,,11� Understanding and Enduring Personal
Trials and Peace Be Unto You, Anxiety
Management Using Gospel Principles.
His writings contain insights and
solutions to apply gospel principles to
emotional challenges. You can see
more content, connect with him on
social media, or ask questions on his
website, ldspsychalogisl.com.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LDS LIVING 63
 In honor of the 400tl1 anniversary
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for t1�aci11g ·ro11r a11cestors hack
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Starting in 1892, nearly all immjgrants to
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Their vast database contains the records
of 65 million people. You can access them
at libertyellisfoundation.org/passenger.
BEFORE ELLIS ISLAND
More than 8 million immigrants landed
at Castle Gai·den in New York Harbor
before Ellis Island opened. Find
ancestors who landed from 1855-1890
at familysearcl1.org/blog/en/
ny-castle-garden-ellis-island.
From 1840-1932 tens of thousands of
European members of the Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
immigrated to America to gather with
the saints. Find their stories at
familyseai·ch.01·g/seai·ch/collection/
2365248.
MORE FREE RESOURCES
On our Price Genealogy website, we have
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ANCESTORS ON THE MAYFLOWER :}< Clip ',· Keep: Sa11e these resources where you rn11 refer bark to them often. Bet1rr yet, bookmark them.

Let's stait at the beginning. At

relativefinder.org, you cai1 find out if you
have an ancestor on the Mayflower. You ► Cl> I:O
0N
MAYFLOWER ANCESTORS: CHURCH CONVERTS:
C)W .o
UOl relativefinder.org familvsearch.org/search/

ou
can also find out if you're related to all Z,.!. collection/23652'f8
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...I 0:: uo immigrant.pricegen.com MORE LINKS:
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._
ii: GERMAN MIGRATION:

wo a.
CX)

gcrmanroots.com
INDENTURED SERVANTS �
Zen �
�
ELLIS ISLAND:
libertyellisfoundation.
Many eai·ly colonists were too poor to WW

•
org/passenger
afford passage, so they came as C) 0::
indentured servants, and don't appeai· CASTLE GARDEN:
on regular passenger manifests. familysearch.org/blog/_en/
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 tuning in

ALL IN-EPISODE 51:

''The Power to Save''

Nearly two years ago, Marilee Killpack's youngest son, Abram, was born with a rare,
life-threatening genetic syndrome called Wiskott-Aldrich. The syndrome affects just
one in 250,000 children, is only symptomatic in boys, and is, in many cases, fatal.
However, Abram's then-7-year-old brother, Copeland, was a perfect match for a
life-saving bone marrow transplant and agreed to do it, despite some apprehension.
Watching one son selflessly give blood to save his brother s life and the other son
depend upon that sacrifice for a second chance at life taught Killpack a powerful
lesson about the Savior's Atonement.

M organ Jones: How 1011g was the

tra11splam process?
Marilee Killpack: We were in Seattle
for almost six months. Copeland was
with me for about two of those. So it took
a while for everything to get going.And
while we were prepping and getting ready,
I could see sweet little Copeland being
brave. I mean, he is a superhero and he
saved his little brother's life.But as it came
nearer and nearer, you could see, like,
"This is real, and Abram's gettil1g sick. And I
have to help him." You !mow, the weight of
it ... I think you could see it start to sink in.
And he wasn't ever nervous, he didn't ever
complain. But the day of, he's just getting
so excited, and we had family in help-
ing us get eve1ything coordinated.At this
point, Abram is so sick he's an inpatient in
the hospital every day, can't leave, and we
had to leave him to go be with Copeland
to receive this operation to get the mar­
row out. So, we're getting [Copeland] all
prepped. He's gowning up and putting the
ha.ts and shoes on. And we go back and the
anesthesiologist is helpiJ1g us talk through
it in the operating room, and I got to go be
with him. They ended up laying him on
the table and talking a.bout, you know, "Do
you want bubble gum or root beer?" and
he picked bubble gum, and it smells so
awesome. And they lay him down and put
it on, and he's holding my hand and he
starts to ...breathe it in. It starts to make
him woozy and he's getting a little uncom­
fortable. And he just starts looking at me
holding his hand, and his eyes just start
getting so big.f'll never forget it. And he
looks up and says, "Mom, I don't like this."
And he just said it twice. "Mom, I don't
like this:' And here I am as a 1110111 just
stuck between rny two kids, one who won't
make it witl10LLt his older brother a11d one
who doesn't want to do it."I don't like
this, Mom:' And at ilie time, I couldn't do
anythiJ1g. My hands were tied, you know.
And it just taught me so much about our
Savior and even from a perspective of our
Heavenly Parents, tl1a.t They watched these
siblings work it out, and here They are
watching ail their children who need sav­
ing, and Their one Son who has the only
power to save.And I think of the relation­
ship between the siblings.It has taught
me so much about my Savior.He loved
us enough to be wiJling to do that and to
go through it even when He said, "Would
tl1at I might not drink of the cup:' And He
has done that for ea.ch of us willingly.And
I think seeing my boys go through this has
taught me so much.I see myself in Abram.
I cannot be saved without Jesus Christ,
and I see myself in iliat need. And then I
see Copeland and his willingness and his
ability to save, and I see my Savior. So, it's
taught me so much about our relationship
between Jesus Christ and His grace and
healing power and ability to save us. o
Note: T/1is tra11script has been edited for clarity.
Listen to Marilee Killpack and host Morgan Jones talk
more about the Killpack family's experience in episode 51
of the All In podcast on ldsliving.com/podcosts.

68 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

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 tuning in ! ... ................. -·--·------ . ......... . ...
......
r-y,here was only the sound of snow
_I_ crunching underneath Stacy
Taniguchi's boots as he slowly navigated
his way down the the glacier near the base
of the tallest mountain peak in Alaska:
Denali. Though Stacy had grown up in
Hawaii as a Buddhist, he had joined the
Church while dating his wife, and the two
had moved to Alaska, where Stacy became
an adventure guide and regularly traversed
the icy mountain.
Though the glacier appeared to be
mostly covered in snow, hidden cracks, or
crevasses, lay underneath crusts of snow
known as snow bridges. In some places,
the snow bridges were several feet thick. In
other places, they were mere inches.
"Some of these cracks are big enough that
you could take the car that you own, drop it
in the hole, and you will never hear it touch
tl1e sides or hit the bottom, so you don't
want to fall into these tl1ings;' Stacy says.
To make matters worse, the sun had
been unobscured by clouds or storms for
days, melting the snow near tl1e base of tl1e
mountain and weakening the snow bridges­
the very snow that Stacy; a mountain guide,
and his novice companion, Denny, were
now traversing alone.
It was because of tl1is melting snow,
in fact, that Stacy found himself ahead
of Denny. Tied to Denny witl1 a 50-foot
rope, Stacy's job was to probe the snow,
testing its depth and charting a safe
course for Denny and himself. Though it
was traditionally safer to have the more
70 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020
. ...... ···-·· ................ - · · · · · • - · · · •····· ' . .
· -·--·····-·-··--·-·- ........... ····-····· ..
experienced person in the back instead of
leading, Stacy had seen tl1e scarlet blood in
the snow where Denny coughed, signaling
the increasing seve1ity of Denny's moun­
tain sickness. So when Denny said that
the stress was too much and tl1at he was
unwilling to go forward unless Stacy led,
Stacy moved to the front.
But as Stacy was carefully probing tl1e
snow, just as he had done for hours, he
suddenly found himself flat on his back
and sliding. A quick turn of his head
revealed only snow where Denny's 6' 4"
figure had stood just moments before.
Precious seconds ticked by as Stacy real­
ized what had happened: Denny had fallen got to use the otl1er door. So I'm thinking,
into a crevasse, and if he kept falling, the like, 'Oh man, my choice of getting it right
rope tetl1ering tl1em together would pull the first time is not that good."'
Stacy into the crevasse as well. But there At that moment, CTR-choose the
was still hope. If Stacy acted quickly; he right-flashed through Stacy's n-und. It was
could stop their fall. a strange thought to have before plunging
His only chance was to get his ice thousands of feet to his death, and Stacy
ax and anchor it in the snow, hopefully took it as a sign.
creating enough friction to stop his and Witl1 no time to make a mistake, Stacy
Denny's fall. The only problem was tl1at reached to tlie right. If he was wrong, both
Stacy couldn't remember which side of Ins he and Denny would be dead. No one
pack he had hooked his ice ax to. would know where to find them. No
-"Now, the story of my life is [that] I'm one would know what had happened.
never picking the right thing the first go­ They would simply disappear off the face
around," Stacy says. "When I go to church of tlie earth. But more than that, Stacy would
on Sunday, I come to the double doors, be breaking a promise he had made to
[and] I always pick the door tl1at's locked. Denny's fiancee only a few weeks before. o
The other door is the one that's open. I can
come back the next week and say, 'Oh, well Listen to the full story of how Stacy found himself des­
that door was locked last week, I'll pick this perately praying for faith and help on the side of a snow­
covered Alaskan mountain in episode 37 of the This Is the
door.' No. That door now is locked. I [have] Gospel podcast on /ds/iving.com/podcosls.
 ONE ANOTHER

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74 · LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

G Where is your favorite
place to perform?
C, Jason Deere: The MTC.
We have been asked a few
times to sing for the missionar­
ies there. There is no place like
it on earth.
C, Dan Truman: My favorite
place to perform is where I
can see someone responding,
when it's impacted somebody.
G Why is religious music
important?
C, JD: Well, for me, it has
saved my life in many ways.
I loved serving a mission
as much as anything I have
ever done, and the Nashville
Tribute Band has been an
extension of that experience.
Miracles happen with music,
far beyond the talents or
capabilities of the creators
or performers of the music.
It is something I love to
observe and be a part of.
G What's something
nobody knows about you?
C, DT: Most people don't
know that I've done back­
ground music to a lot of TV
shows. I've done probably over
V
100 T shows.
C, JD: I love all kinds of
music. But my raw passion
is blue-collar angst rock 'n' roll.
Bands like The Alarm, The
Cure, The Cult, Green Day,
R.E.M., U2. And yet, Barry
Manilow was the first vinyl I
bought when I was in the fifth
grade. I still love that guy.
G What's your favorite
song from your new album,
A Nashville Tribute to the
Hymns?
0 JD: "In His Love" may
be my favorite. While almost
every hymn on the album is
one most people know, this
one is an original. Dan and I
wrote it not for the album but
to submit for the new hym­
nal for the Church. I just feel
like it says something that I've
never heard another hym n
say. We need each other as
believers. We need to come
together for each other. Life is
hard. Jesus has saved us all if
we believe, but we need each
other to make it from now
until forever.
G What is the best piece of
advice you've ever received?
0 DT: When I got off my mis­
sion, I was a piano player for
the BYU Young Ambassadors.
That year, we went to Russia.
When we got back, I'm talking
to my director, Randy. We were
talking about what the next
steps i11 our lives were. I said,
'Well I'm going to continue and
get my degree in music, go out
and play the piano, and be a
composer.' Randy looks right
at me and says, 'If you're seri­
ous about being a piano player
who makes it in the indusuy,
who is really good, who is
going to be able to be competi­
tive, you need to go practice.'
For at least three years, I prac­
ticed the piano at least five
hours a day. When I got to
Nashville, I was good enough
to compete.
G Where do you go to
write music?
C, JD: The guys in my band
know that many of the songs I
have written for the Nashville
Tribute Band albums have
been written in my partially
finished basement. I'm not
sure why. There's something
about the cobwebs, the
exposed wiring, the reverb of
a guitar across the concrete
floors, and maybe the fact that
I am somewhere that nobody
else really wants to be. 1 fu1d
my truth clown there. I find
things that are bigger than me
down there. o
Listen to some unique
renditions of the hymns
from Dan, Jason, and
the rest of The
Nashville Tribute Band
on their new album, A
Nashville Tribute to the
Hymns. Available at Deseret Book stores
and on deseretbook.com.
JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 LOS LIVING 75
 \ \\'Y ;/
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WooDRUFF
\\ 7 ,
1, HOTEL
l (j!//nff' I87

CALL OR VISIT
800-860-1215
W OODRUFFHOTEL. COM

l
 Patients Find Pain Relief at Provo, UT Clinic
Utah Doctors Use Revolutionary Non-Invasive, "TAP" Technology
To Relieve Patients' Chronic Head, Neck, and Jaw Pain
May Also Be Effective For Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Neuralgia, Migraines, Failed Back Surgery, Spinal
Stenosis, High Blood Pressure, T.M.J. Syndrome, Sleep Breathing Disorders and Sleep Apnea
It makes sense when you think about it. Just
ask former storied BYU and NFL quarterback
Jim McMahon.
McMahon, who led the Chicago Bears to the
only Super Bowl championship in its franchise
history, suffered numerous concussions. A few
years after his retirement he began suffering
from severe headaches, memory loss and
dementia caused by the concussions.
McMahon's Pain = Tortured Life
The headaches were so bad he would drop to
his knees. His body was racked with pain. He
would stay in his dark room for days. The pain
seemed to never let up. He lived a tortured life.
The crippling pain, anguish and frustration got
so bad that he contemplated suicide.
Then, McMahon met a New York Atlas Orthog­
onal Chiropractic Physician with an innovative
Transdermal Atlas Positioning (TAP) treatment.
The doctor suspected due to McMahon's many
impact injuries, that his brainstem was being
compressed by the first vertebra in his neck,
called the Atlas.
The doctor took digital X-rays and 3D images
of McMahon's neck and found the Atlas was
indeed misaligned and likely disrupting cerebro­
spinal fluid flow near the brainstem.
The doctor put the digital images through a spe­
cialized computer program where it determined
the exact degree of misalignment.
Gentle TAP-like "Puff of Air" Gives
Almost Instant Relief. These coordi­
nates were then put into a futuristic looking
computer-guided instrument that, as McMahon
explained, directed what felt like a gentle puff
of air to the exact spot on the neck where the
misalignment occured - successfully positioning
the atlas vertebra to its ideal position.
Almost instantly, as reported in the Deseret
News, his headaches and pain disappeared and
"the treatment has been a godsend for McMa­
hon." Deseret News. 11/13112 & 10105/13
Atlas Epigenetics is located in Provo, UT.
On any given day at this high-tech health clinic
you'll meet patients who come from all over
the United States to get relief from chronic
pain through this innovative, non-invasive Atlas
technology.
When the Atlas or first vertebra is misaligned all sorts of health maladies
may occur. By re-aligning the Atlas through a gentle, revolutionary non-in­
vasive, computer-guided procedure many people find relief.
What is this New Pain Relief
Technology?
"The Atlas", explains Dr. Chapman, D.C., "is the
gateway to the nervous system because it is
where the lower brainstem first enters the spinal
column." "When this misalignment occurs," he
continues, "the blood and cerebrospinal fluid flow
may become disturbed, adversely affecting this
important region. The nerves that control every
organ and part of the body can become compro­
mised - and an entire range of bodily functions
may be affected resulting in pain, illness and a
wide variety of health conditions.
Gentle Computer Assisted Relief
The doctors at Atlas Epigenetics use the same ad­
vanced procedures (3D Cone Beam CT, advanced
digital imaging, computer analysis of the image
and computer guided percussion instrument) that
McMahon's chiropractic physician used to diag­
nose, treat, and relieve McMahon's pain.
If this misalignment is identified and corrected
by a highly trained chiropractic physician with a
discipline in this Atlas technology, the "neurologi­
cal deficit is allowed to heal itself, and may provide
relief from pain and related conditions," claims Dr.
Chapman, D.C.
Trigeminal Neuralgia and Bell's Palsy
Neurologists who diagnosed these conditions told
Kristen Smith of Las Vegas that she would be on
pain meds for the rest of her life or face surgery
to try to help reduce her face pain. Within minutes
following the TAP procedure performed by Atlas
Epigenetics doctors, Kristin's chronic facial pain
had gone away. "I left the office pain-free on that
first visit," Kristin tells, "and within two weeks, my
Bell's Palsy symptoms were gone". "These doctors
understood my problem like no other doctors". It's
been a year. No medications and no pain.
Biomimetic Dentist Finds Lasting
Relief - Dr. Danny White, DMD, suffered from
chronic head, neck, back and lower leg pain and
had undergone spinal surgery before being intro­
duced to Atlas Epigenetics by a colleague. 'The
CT scan and X-rays their doctors took showed
me how my atlas was twisted," tells Dr. White,
"They explained to me how this was causing my
spine, shoulders, and hips to be torqued, thus
my pain--in all of my treatment and surgeries, no
one had ever caught this issue with my atlas-- it's
simply not looked at by traditional practitioners.
The doctors at Atlas Epigenetics clearly showed
me the functional relationship between the teeth
{the bite), the upper airway and my atlas verte­
bra. I'm a general dentist, I also teach dentistry
at a dental college, yet I had never encountered
anything this remarkable. I immediately realized
the many, many patients I was seeing who could
be helped by Atlas work at Atlas Epigenetics.
What Does a Gentle "TAP" Have to
Do with Back Pain, Sleep Breathing
Problems, Facial Pain, Anxiety, Mi­
graines and more...?
"The Atlas is the gateway to the brain stem and
nervous system," explains Dr. Chapman, DC.
"The brainstem governs and balances all of our
body's organs and systems. In addition, the atlas,
because of its location makes up part of the up­
per airway region. When the Atlas is misaligned it
may disrupt blood and cerebrospinal fluid flow--it
also can affect the status of the upper airway and
cause wake or sleep airway problems. Simply by
bringing the Atlas back into alignment many of
the symptoms can go away. Sometimes we find it
necessary to design a special intraoral appliance
to stabilize the atlas and develop more functional
airway space. It's that simple. Many patients who
have undergone our treatment are no longer de­
pendent on their C-PAP machines. For patients
who decide to start treatment, a series of short
follow up visits may be prescribed to help the
body continue on its path to healing."
Call to Schedule a FREE Consultation:
(801) 655-1801
ATLAS EPIGENETICS
3311 N. University Ave.
Suite #150
Provo, UT 84604
www.atlasepigenetics.com
Atlas Epigenetics is pleased to
announce the addition of
Dr. Andrew Persky, D.C. to our team!
 c_\�SJc
WINTER FUN
NEVER GETS OLD.
 BE INSPIRED TO
BE BETTER THIS YEAR
with our newest titles from
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland and Elder Neil L. Andersen.

Join Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's personal study as he shares "My sincere hope is that you will again feel, as you have already
insights about more than 150 names of Christ he felt, the priceless love your Heavenly Father and His Beloved
has studied during his twenty-five years as Son have for you. "So writes Elder Neil L. Andersen to those
a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. who are "awakening unto God."

Witness for His Names by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland The Divine Gift of Forgiveness by Elder Neil L. Andersen
5232737-$f4:99- 20% off $11.99
5228797 $19.99

4DJ Deseret Book I DeseretBook.com

 1·i · · ·
l

···················1
inside the numbers

• • : Business tycoon and Latter-day Saint Bill Marriott is perhaps most recognized

B 1 11 M arr1 o tt i
:
for his self-named hot�! chain. B�this�ealth is only a part of what makes him
_ _ _ _
successful. Here are a tew fun insights mto this mcred1blc man.

$2.2 billion
Marriott's net worth, making him one of
the richest people in Maryland
Nights a young Bill Marriott
had to sleep outside in order
to earn his hardest merit

$2-$3 badge: camping

an hour
Marriotrs wage at
his first job in the

==-��
family restaurant

{§;1 ijot �aurr ,_ ,uaon.aor ...a r....., ...,.ua. 1964

J. W. MARRIOTT JR., ELECTED PRESIDENT Year Marriott was
elected president of the
Marriott Corporation

40
Years Marriott was chief
executive officer and
chairman of the board of
Marriott International, Inc.

LOS Living [ISSN: 1540-9678) is published bi-monthly by LOS Living, Inc.. 57 W. South Temple. Salt Lake City, UT 84101. USA. Periodicals Postage Paid al Salt Lake City, UT. Subscription price is $18.oo
Jar six issues. POSTMASTER: Please send address changes lo LOS Living. PO Box 30178, Salt Lake City, UT 84130. USA. ··LOS Living" is a registered trademark of Oeserel Book. Volume 19 Issue 105.

80 LOS LIVING JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020

 Palmyra to Kirtland - Tour I
Miraculous events of the The total us Church History
Faith-filled Early Saints' sites:
Restoration: Palmyra, experience! save time & money
Sacred Grove, Cumorah, Missouri, Nauvoo, Carthage. combining Tours I & II.mtO 0 ne"grand
Harmony, Susquehanna Track Iowa Mormon Trail to tour" in historical order, as at left. $2790
River, Colesville. Kirtland, Winter Quarters and many •June 1-12
Niagara Falls Canada more! $1450 •Sept 21-0ct 2
& more! $1599 •June 13-19
•April 6-11 - First Vision 200th Anniversary •July 4-10 - 2 pageants!
•June 8-13 •Sept 14-19 •Oct 5-10 •Oct 10-16
Immerse 1n the sites
and spirit of early
Christian art, culture,
& history. Rome,
Pompeii, Florence,
..... Tuscany, Pisa, Venice,
·
rri es, Cmq ue lerre, &
Carrara marble qua
more! Optional Rorne Tem ple sess ion!.
•Oct 25.Nov 6 $2 680 + a ir, seve ral meals

England & Wales Awesome

tsJlAEl
LOS British Church
History with Bible
Walk where your
Sites of greatest events
ancestors walked,
Translation sites. in history! Explore the
exploring Welsh & l
old vval ed city of Jerusalem
,
Enjoy castles, Scottish LOS and of Olives,
walk on the Mount
cathedrals, theatre, family history sites ride on the Sea of Galilee,
& museums! .__-�---1 plus visit Preston & in Bethlehem,
Veteran guides provide what no one · picture a sacred birth
Liverpool. ef'l'l a ne & Garden Tomb,
else can! meditate in Geths
•May 10-21 $3875 •July 17-30 $3690 + lunches l e expe rience! $4160
Some meals additional & more! Unforgettab
•March 6-18 •May 1•13
•June 19.July 1 _ YSA , Teen s, & Parents
Prices per person, 2 per room 10 $26 80 + air
MHA is an independent entity not owned by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter•day Saints. •Nov 27 _0 ec -
I
I (I
,d l

®
B E R E A D Y. B E W I S E.