Happiness is a basic human need. It is something that we all seek.

In interviewing a

person from another generation about her views on happiness, I hoped to gain some wisdom as

to what it means and what is necessary to live a happy life. As this assignment pertains to

happiness and what exactly a happy life is, I chose a woman who is always cheerful and

optimistic. Stephanie Kea does not have everything in life, but she does have a job that she

loves, a God who she reveres and a family who loves and supports her. She just might have the

answer to the question, “What is a good life?” A question that many of us often ponder.

For this project I chose a close friend of mine. Her name is Stephanie Kea and she was

my high school art teacher. Mrs. Kea was born on the 2nd of February and raised in chilly

Maine, but she now lives in the small town of Waynesville, in Western North Carolina. She is a

warm, welcoming woman who is always a ray of sunshine. She is in her early 40’s and has a

loving husband and two young children whom I adore. I first had her class in the spring of my

freshman year and we became close within that short period of time. Every year after that I

made sure I had her class at least one semester that year and I would come visit her frequently

when I didn’t have her class. I made many friends in her class and the art room became a

second home and Mrs. Kea like a mother figure to me. I shared many heart to heart talks with

her during lunch periods and after school. She encourages me to pursue my passion and

pushes me to do my best. She has always supported me and she has become one of my

biggest inspirations to keep doing what I love in the face of adversity. Although my sister and I

are now in college, we still keep in touch with her and visit her and her family whenever we

come back to Western North Carolina.

I started off with the main question that we’re trying to answer here. “What is a good

life?” To which she replied, “To me it is one that is happy, feeling fulfilled, developing your

passions and being surrounded by loving family and friends.” I then asked, “How does one go

about living it?” She paused for a minute, as if in deep thought, and then responded with, “First I

would say make sure you align your career goals with your passion(s). Secondly I would say
always be willing to try new things and be willing to grow.” Next I inquired, “How is happiness

defined and understood?” She answered, “That’s a tough one. I would say I think it can be

defined by the people you live your life with and around. I think the only way to really understand

happiness is to see it as a by-product of one’s life (their actions).” I then asked her, “What are

the problems we humans must address?” To which she responded, “I feel that it is people’s

attitudes and just being plain angry people to be around. The negative attitude is contagious

too.” Then I inquired, “What were the peak moments of your life and why did you choose them?”

She replied, “Peak moments in my life were times when I had a significant life altering change:

My birth when I became two months old and the doctors said there was nothing they could do to

save my life, and my parents refused to believe that, and prayed, and believed for my life. The

day I learned about Jesus Christ and how He would save me and be with me throughout my life.

The days I graduated high school and college so I could have a career that is my passion. The

day I was married to a man that is by my side doing life with me. The birth of my two children

that have challenged me to be the best example to them.” Next I asked, “If you could add

something to your life, would you, and what would it be?” “I would have to think about that one”,

she responded. “I would add a forever home. My husband and I wish to build and own a home

of our own to raise our children in and recreate memories with them in.” Subsequently, I

inquired, “What are the most important aspects of a good life?” To which she responded, “Hmm.

I would say close, loving, meaningful relationships with family and friends.” Furthermore, I

asked, “Do you think that a good life means a happy life?” “Yes”, she said. “Can a life truly be

considered ‘good’ without happiness? I wouldn’t think so.” “I agree,” I said. I then asked her,

“Would you say you have lived a happy life? Why or why not?” To which she replied, “Yes I do

think I have lived a happy life. I am blessed to be surrounded by great friends for myself and my

children. I also am blessed to have so many family members in communication with me. Lastly,

I also am blessed to have a career where I have coworkers and amazing students that do life

with me as well.” Then I inquired, “If you could change one thing about your life, would you, and
what would it be?” She said, “I would love to be able to slow down time.” I nodded my head.

“Wouldn’t we all.” Lastly, I asked, “Do you have any advice that you would like to give me?” She

responded with, “Always go with the peace in your heart when you are at a point where you

have to make a decision or a change in your life. I have used that since my mother role modeled

for me as a child.” I thanked her for her time, we exchanged hugs, and then we parted ways.

I found that her responses tied in with many points that Haidt made in his book The

Happiness Hypothesis. Firstly, I asked her what she thinks a good life is. Feeling fulfilled, of

course comes along with happiness. Developing one’s passions and being surrounded by loved

ones are both central points made by Haidt. It is important to have coherence among all aspects

of one’s life, as well as strong connections with others. Without loving relationships with others,

it is impossible to be happy. John Donne once said, “No man, woman, or child is an island.” This

means that it is impossible for one to thrive alone. I then asked her how she thinks one should

live their life in order to be happy. Her response once again tied in with the necessity for

coherence in one’s life. Her reply to my next question again aligned with the need for strong

connections with others. However, it also pointed out that others can either lift us up or bring us

down. Some will love us and lift us up, and some who we may think are friends will manipulate

us and use us. She mentioned that our actions determine our happiness, which is partly true.

While we can’t control some aspects of our lives such as our biological happiness set point, we

can control other aspects such as whether we spend money on clothes or experiences with

friends, whether we work in a job solely for pay or a job that aligns with our passions, etc. I

asked her what the peak moments of her life were and why they were peak moments. She told

me about moments that she believed involved the divine, moments involving her loved ones,

and moments that connect with the concept of work and vital engagement. Haidt argued that

perceiving divinity is a basic feature of the human experience, and Mrs. Kea chose accepting

God into her life as one of the peak moments in her life. She also mentioned graduating from

college so that she could work in a job that allowed her to experience flow and vital engagement
and aligned with her interests. And lastly, she recalled her marriage and the birth of her children.

In the chapter on love and attachments, Haidt pointed out that married people are generally

happier than single people, and he discussed the giving system that bonds mothers and their

children and floods the brain with oxytocin, a hormone that promotes social bonding. To my next

two questions she once again responded with an answer that correlates to spending time with

loved ones. I asked her if she believes that she has lived a happy life, and she said she thinks

that her happiness can be attributed to the loving relationships that she has with others and the

career that is more than a job. It is a calling, and it gives her the flow and the vital engagement

that she needs. She responded to my last question by passing down a piece of advice that her

mother gave her to me. I was touched by this because I know she loved her late mother very

much and she wanted to share a little part of that person who was so special to her with me. I

think that this interview gave me some insight into what all of the readings really boil down to,

and seeing someone else implementing and experiencing these concepts in their own life and

explaining it in their own words helped me to really understand what it means to live a happy

life.