I just finished Somewhere Only We Know on Netflix.

I believe the official English title should be Exclusive

Memory but Netflix changed it for reasons unknown and probably incomprehensible to me. It’s
embarrassing having to say the title when people ask me what I’m watching. Exclusive Memory sounds
better and glides more smoothly when spoken out loud.

Anyway, the reason I’m making this post is because the ending completely fucked me over. This will
contain spoilers because I have no intention of making a proper review. I simply want to scream into the
void at how the ending made no sense at all because nobody else seems to be watching this drama (or
maybe they are but they’re not talking about it because the title is fucking embarrassing to say out
loud). Sometimes you have to talk to yourself in order to let the feelings out, yes?

The first episode was bizarre to say the least. I’m not sure if I’m missing some culturally significant point
but the emphasis on Xuetong’s father being a supposed “hero” really threw me off. The first episode ‘s
ending left me confused. All I could think of was, what’s the big deal? I understand of course that
cheating in a university exam is viewed as a big deal (even though this entire “banking education” as
termed by Freire really leaves a student, who subconsciously realizes the futility of exams, with no
choice but to cheat), and I also understand her desire to clear up her name but it’s the heavy emphasis
on her father being a hero that left me confused. I would have dropped the show after that but some
force beyond me compelled me to continue watching and so here we are, at the last episode and even
more confused because, again, that ending does not make sense and was just thrown at us out of the
blue.

If you are getting the impression that I disliked the show, you’re actually mistaken. I would go so far as
to say that it’s one of the more well-made romance shows that I’ve watched (although, admittedly, I
hardly watch romance shows so I’m not a very good judge). It does have some problems, though, which
I will talk about at length because I have no one to talk to about this obscure show (is it obscure? I’m not
sure)

Let’s start with the characters. This show’s strongest point is its plethora of interesting and endearing
female characters. My favorite being Xiao Tang. She is a minor character who was perfectly set up to be
the bitchy rival if this were a cliché romance show. She actually turns out to be the most sensible
character in the show, offering grounded and realistic advice, doesn’t take shit from anyone, goal-driven
and beautiful with the fatal flow of having shit taste in men. I wanted so much for her story to be about
her finally letting go of the shackles that held her back – her unconventional family situation, her
infantile mom and her attachment to a guy who doesn’t value her mind and seems to only view her as a
trophy. Unfortunately, we see her giving up her dreams for a man who decides to come back to her life
just when she’s about to move on. I suppose an argument could also be made that she never moved on.
The decision to either stay in China and start a business with that greasy guy whose name I cannot (and
refuse to) remember or to pursue her education in America is really not a dilemma at all because the
constant variable has always been that greasy guy. As in wherever that guy is, there she will go. Which is
honestly a huge blow to me. The way I defend it to myself is no character can be perfect but man, what
a major character flaw. It was painful to watch her with the greasy guy, her intellect completely set aside
for the whims of a man, watching her get so close to realizing she’s way better off without him but not
actually getting there because this man has some incredible pull on her and makes her soft for some
reason.
The other female character that I loved and I think honestly deserved better is Chen Yan. Chen Yan is
kind, passionate and an important moral support for our main character Xuetong. I loved that she is the
only female character in the show who wasn’t tied down by romance. She just genuinely wants to make
a change in the world and it sucks that on top of not exploring her character more, she also had to be
killed off by the writers. Honestly, I don’t really mind character death but I can’t seem to find a good
enough reason for her death. I read a comment somewhere that she was perhaps killed off simply to
give a reason for Chenghe to return but if that were the case then it’s a cheap tactic. Chenghe could
have returned anytime for any other reason. Why did she have to die just to kickstart their failed
romance? Perhaps she was killed off to represent Xuetong’s maturity. Chen Yan is her childhood friend
and symbolizes her idealism and innocence. Killing her off marks Xuetong’s step towards adulthood, an
entirely different world that is marked with pain and difficulty. Maybe I’m reaching here and trying so
hard to make her death a reasonable one by giving her a Hedwig-esque existence. Who knows? If they
were simply going for the shock factor then they’ve succeeded. Imagine having a character death in your
romcom!

The other female characters are likewise interesting but I have less to say about them compared to
those two. Bai lin is your typical boy-crazy, slacks-off-in-school, rich side-character. She’s fun and she
brings the group together but her story is admittedly the least interesting for me. I had to speed through
her break-up scene because I just didn’t care. We all saw it coming from a mile away. The show tells us
via the student council president that she has matured due to her dad getting hospitalized but we don’t
really see this supposed maturity other than a few scenes of her being sad and less hyperactive. I do still
think that she ‘s an important character because I just don’t see Xuetong, Qiqi and Xiaotang speaking
more than the perfunctory greetings as roommates unless Bai lin had brought them together in the first
place. Qiqi is interesting but more in the “what the hell is she thinking?” kind of way than as a character
worth exploring. I want to shake her through the screen and tell her she’s possibly being groomed.

What is it with the smart female characters in this show being attracted to men who are older than
them? I get the appeal of smart, older men. I admit I had a penchant for developing crushes on my
teachers when I was younger but at a certain point, you have to realize it gets creepy and is honestly not
healthy because of how easy it is to get manipulated that way. I’ve never experienced that (thank god)
but watching it in shows is making me cringe. This is, I think, also the reason why I was a bit wary of
Xuetong/Chenghe as a pair. I admit they’re cute. Chenghe learning to let go and have fun because of
Xuetong is cute but if I start to think about it too much, it gets bothersome. Although I’m not sure how
much their age gap is supposed to be in the show? The thing is, though, Chenghe doesn’t strike me as
predatory. He was respectful of her and their relationship grew organically. They still aren’t the ideal
pair for me but it is heaps better than Xuetong with Liu Qi.

Geez where do I start with Liu Qi. Possibly the most annoying character in the entire show. I had to
utilize the increase speed function of Netflix whenever he opened his mouth. He’s just an empty husk of
a character. We don’t know anything about him except that he’s supposed to be a nice guy and kind of
stupid.

Let’s start from the beginning. His first appearance is that of a goofy, good-looking guy. So far so good.
He then finds out that Xuetong is roommates with the beautiful, popular girl, Xiaotang, and uses her
(Xuetong) to ask Xiaotang out. That in itself is already a dick move and my formerly neutral feelings for
him steadily went down after that. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with asking your friend to
essentially be your wingman. Especially since he doesn’t realize Xuetong has feelings for him. I don’t
fault him for that but I do find fault with him forgetting that Xuetong is his friend first and wingman
second. The only times he sought to communicate with her is when he’s asking for favor with regards to
Xiaotang. Then he realizes he doesn’t stand a chance with Xiaotang so he shifts his attention to Xuetong
(despite the fact that she’s clearly involved or about to be involved with Chenghe at this point) because
he finds out Xuetong used to have a thing for him and his fragile ego can’t stand the fact that he’s losing
admiration, even if said admiration is one that he formerly spurned in favor of Xiaotang in the first place.
We then see him being “magnanimous” and giving up on Xuetong because she’s already with Chenghe
but obviously not without being annoying and giving unnecessary, not to mention unwanted, attention
such as giving her flowers and being creepily just around the corner from her perhaps hoping to be a
shoulder to cry on when she eventually breaks up with Chenghe at which point he can take advantage of
the situation and replace Chenghe. This he does very successfully. He grabs the opportunity and asks her
out once Chenghe is out of the picture and he devotes himself to her. He is with her even when she’s
hanging out with her friends, tells her cheesy pick-up lines, and has no other dignifying character other
than being her boyfriend. Again, he’s an empty husk of a character. Am I being overly-critical? I admit I
am rather biased against him because I hated the way he wouldn’t take no for an answer when he was
first asking Xuetong out. I hate male characters who can’t respect a girl and devalue her words by
essentially putting his own spin/interpretation on her simple words like, “I don’t like you doing this” or,
even simpler, “No.”

Chenghe is obviously the better character between the two. He’s smart, handsome and nice but
stubborn and unable to empathize with Xuetong because he has his own issues of inadequacy and
expectations to live up to. I liked the fact that the thing that drew him to Xuetong in the first place (her
innocence and child-like personality) is the same thing that caused their breakup. I think that made
them confront the reality of their relationship (like how naïve it was to promise each other never to fight
again) and grow up individually. Although I do get the impression that it’s only Chenghe who truly
changed. We don’t see a lot of him post-breakup but we do get the impression that he has learned to
take a step back from his work and not let it consume him. He seems happier and less of a stick in the
mud. Xuetong didn’t feel that much different. She was certainly less involved with her second
relationship and perhaps has learned to not devote so much of her energy on her romantic partner but
she still seems unsure of herself. We don’t see her truly gain a sense of individuality until the very end
when she decided to forego the postgraduate studies offer in favor of doing something that she
genuinely wants to do. But the execution of it leaves much to be desired because we aren’t even
entirely sure that she passed the final draft for her children’s book. Instead we get a time-skip scene
where she’s married to Chenghe without any sort of preamble. I know that the story she was writing is
the preamble I’m looking for; it’s supposed to symbolize her but it was vague and didn’t really make
much sense. Also, a marriage ending doesn’t really say anything about her growth as an adult. Yes,
marriage is an adult enterprise but childish people get married all the time. I want to know how she
grew up and matured. Marriage seems like an easy answer but it doesn’t say much to the viewers.

I enjoyed Xuetong and Chenghe together and I was very disheartened when it seemed like her and Liu
Qi were going to be endgame but an ending where Xuetong truly grows up, separate from her romantic
relationship with anyone would have been a much preferable ending. This is still a romance show,
though, at the end of the day so I guess the ending is to be expected.
One thing the show was especially good at (and I wish they utilized more) was its depiction of the
friendship among the female characters. It was great seeing them support each other and learn to
navigate their own personal relationships. We see them clash but they’re never petty or malicious. I
liked how Qiqi and Xiaotang are awkward towards each other but still they understand and respect each
other. Bai lin being constantly taken care of by Qiqi, Xuetong feeling comfortable around Xiaotang and
other similar dynamics between the characters is a joy to watch.

Maybe if they came up with a drama that was just about the female friendships, I would enjoy it even
more but this show in itself is already good. I really enjoyed it. It has its boring moments but it’s still
introspective and entertaining.