In the wake of all the chaos, I found him. But I guess that's where our story starts.

The continuous beeps of the monitor filled the the silence of the whole room. Ang malamig na hangin ng
aircon ay nanuot sa aking balat. The tranquility and solitude of the room made me comfortable. Nasanay
na sa ganitong nararamdaman sa halos ilang taon ko dito.

After checking the patient's vital signs and counting the drops of the fluid in the IV, I immediately wrote
the data down on my jutdown notebook. Di rin nagtagal ay natapos na ako sa ginagawa. Napangiti ako
at inayos na lamang ang hinihigaan ng pagod at tulog na pasyente. I hushed a barely audible 'good night'
before stepping outside the room.

Agad rin akong sinalubong ng tahimik na hallway ng makalabas ako sa kwarto. The night wasn't getting
any younger. Footfalls are echoing in the hall. Patients are already sleeping soundly on their own rooms.
Doctors and nurses doing their rounds like vampires in the night. The sound of the ambulance blairs
outside the hospital fitting like a puzzle piece to the calmness of the night.

It was all familiar to me. The same old scenario I encountered everytime I have a night shift (dahil sa
umaga ay iba rin naman ang nakikita ko) and the years of me being a nurse.

The elevator dinged when I reached the 7th floor. The nurse station there was only occupied by Nurse
Maya who was very focused on the monitor in front of her. I heave a sigh of relief before putting the
chart on the counter and tapping it twice to call her attention.

"Oh? Tapos ka na?" Maya asked stealing a glance at me before giving her attention back whatever she
was doing.

I yawned. God, I need caffeine. Minasa-masahe ko ang batok ko at sumandal sa counter.

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p' in it and checking the time on my wrist watch. 10:49 "May isang oras pa
bago ko i-check yung isang pasyente ko."
Tumango si Maya. A series of groans echoed from her kaya napataas ang kilay ko sa kanya. She threw
away the documents she was holding on the table and leaned lazily on the back rest of her chair. She
seems so very... depressed.

Natawa ako. "Bakit?"

Inabot ko ang mga dokumento na nasa lamesa at nakitang mga personal information iyon ng mga
pasyenteng na-admit kanina. Napatango ako. Maya really hates staying her in the station and doing this
kind of work. Mas gusto niya na mag-alaga ng pasyente. Binigay siguro 'to ni Nurse Olivia sa kanya. They
hate each other, eh.

"That witch! This was supposed to be her work tapos pinasa niya sa'kin! God! 'Di porque't gusto siya ni
Dra. Mendes ay aabusuhin na niya! God! I can't believe her!" She whined like a child.

Napailing na lang ako at sinaway siya. I shushed her. "Baka marinig ka. Mag-dedebate na naman kayo."

I can almost imagine their childlike debates and it was horrible. Minsan na rin silang napagalitan ng head
nurse namin dahil doon. They just couldn't keep their personal matters away from work. Tsk.

Natahimik siya. Feel ko ni-totorture na niya sa Nurse Olivia sa isip niya. She groaned again for the nth
time at binagsak ang ulo sa desk na nasa harap niya. Napaayos ako ng tao ay nilingon ang walang katao-
tao naming floor.

"I think I need a coffee. You want?" I asked.

She nodded, still face-to-face with the desk. "Yes, please."

I sighed. Bago pa 'ko makalayo ay narinig kong tumunog ang elevator at iniluwa noon si Nurse Racquel
na may hila-hilang gurney. She waved and smiled at me when she saw me. I nodded at her.
"May bagong pasyente sa room 314," pambungad niya sa'min at malanding ngumiti.

Kumunot ang noo ko. What's new?

She giggled. "Girl, ang gwapo." Bulong-bulong niya pa.

"Naku, ipagdarasal ko na lang na hindi ka ma-assign sa kanya." Pang-asar ko.

She glared at me. Tinuro-turo pa ko. "Alam mo ikaw."

Napailing na lang ako sa kanya at sinuot ang mga kamay sa bulsa ng uniform ko. "Bababa ako, may
ipapabili ka ba?"

"Chips?"

"Chips." I unbelievably look at her.

"What? Guilty pleasure ko 'yan 'no! At tsaka quota na 'ko sa coffee intake ko ngayong araw, jusko," she
said.

Tumango na lang ako at tinalikuran sila. Napapailing sa mga bulungan nila sa likod ko.

"Gwapo ba talaga?" I heard Maya asked.

"Oo nga!"
"Rate mo nga,"

"5," agad na sagot ni Racquel.

5 lang?

"Ano highest?"

"One."

Pareho silang natawa ng malakas. God, they're crazy.

***

Agad nahulog ang chips sa butas ng vending machine. Nahirapan pa ko sa pagkuha dahil dalawang kape
ang nasa magkabilang kamay ko. Nasa 5th floor ako ngayon. Sa cafeteria na sana ako didiretso but
hassle lang kaya naghanap na lang ako ng vending machine.

I was at the end of the hallway. Ilang minuto pa ang lalakarin bago makarating sa elevator na nasa
kabilang dulo rin. I usually don't paid attention on how far will I walk or how long it is but today seems to
be different.

Parang biglang bumagal ang oras or it was just me. Maya't maya kong nginingitian ang mga bisitang
napagpasyahang magpahinga sa mga upuan sa hallway.
My heart swelled at the sight of them sleeping on the cold metal stairs, probably enduring the coldness
seeping on their body para lang mabantayan ang mga mahal nila sa buhay. I can almost imagine their
sacrifices for them. Something what my mother always did for us.

Nang makakita ng isang hindi ginagamit na kumot ay kinuha ko iyon bago nilapitan ang isang ginang na
nakaupong natutulog. Agad kong binaba ang mga dala ko at kinumutan siya.

"Naku, Mommy, malamig po dito. Mahirap na baka magkasakit kayo." I said softly adjusting the sheets
on her body.

Naalimpungatan naman siya dahil sa ginagawa ko at agad akong nginitian. Her warms hands reached for
mine. "Salamat, hija." Mangiyak-ngiyak niyang sabi.

Tila may kumurot sa puso ko ng makita ang namumula niyang mga mata. And in that moment a surge of
nostalgia flushed through me. Nakita ko na 'to. And I knew that everything must be hard for her. I saw
the vulnerability in her eyes and she was only clinging on a loose thread right now. Tipid akong napangiti
at agad siyang niyakap at hinagod-hagod ang likod niya.

"Magiging okay rin po ang lahat." I whispered.

Although, I am not sure but I still prayed. I prayed hard. Na sana gumaling na siya. Na sana maging okay
na rin ang lahat. Kasi wala na rin naman kaming magagawa. Because that's the next best thing we can
only do to ease their pain, comfort them and emphatize with them, aside from taking care of the
precious people behind these closed doors.

Ilang minuto pa ay tumahan na rin si Mommy at nakatulog na mula sa pag-iyak. A teenage girl,
bloodshot eyes and red nose,  immediately attend to her when she saw us. She said a 'thank you' and I
only smiled at her bago umalis na.

Tulala akong naglakad papunta sa elevator. I was about to step in when a loud crash echoed in the
hallways. What was that? Tinakbo ko ang direksyon kung saan narinig ko ang malakas na kalabog.
Room 314

Napahinto ako. My feet stood firm on the ground. The door was open enough for me to see what's
happening inside. Scattered medicines on the floor. Ang IV stand ay nakatumba sa sahig. Everything was
in chaos and uttered mess. What happened?

The door widely opened.

A pair of dark and dull eyes met mine. Like a blackhole, I felt like I was sinking deeper to it. Malikot ang
mga mata kong sinuyod ang pagkatao ng lalaking nasa harap ko. Chinky eyes, sharp jaw, narrow nose,
full lips and a face heaven must have sent to us. Napaatras ako sa pangalawang pagtama ng mga mata
namin. Halo-halong emosyon ang nakita ko dito. May halong lungkot at tila galit sa mundo.

Is he okay? I mentally asked as I saw the blood dripping on his hands.

Nanginginig pa ang mga paa kong dahan-dahan na lumapit sa kanya. Taas-baba ang kanyang dibdib na
para bang anumang oras ay sasabog na siya.

Huminga ako ng malalim. "S-sir? Are you okay?"

No answer. He was just... standing there.

"Sir, please, dumudugo po—"

"Alis."
Napahinto ako ng magsalita siya. Ngayon nawala na ang panandaliang takot na naramdaman. Hibang ba
siya? Did he really expect me to leave him with his bloody hands?

Umayos ako ng tayo at mabilis na naglakad papunta sa kanya. "Sir, dumudugo po ang kamay niyo at
kailangan—"

"I said leave! I don't need you! I don't need any of you! Kaya umalis ka na! Leave!" He lashed out on me
and slammed the door shut.

Napatulala ako. Ano bang problema niya? Is he one of those problematic patients? I bit the insides of my
cheek. Napahawak ako sa bewang ko at tiningala ang room number niya. Room 314. 314...

Realization hit me. Ito ba yung bagong pasyente na sinasabi ni Racquel?

Kahit paakyat sa floor namin ay 'yon lang iniisip ko. He's one of the new patients here, huh. He's so
difficult to handle or maybe he's just having a bad day. Don't judge him immediately, Corey. Pinaikot-
ikot ko ang batok at mga braso ko. Mas napagod ata ako dahil sa nangyari.

"Oh? Nasaan kape namin?" Tanong agad ni Maya pagkarating ko sa nurse station.

Napahinto ako. Shit. I forgot.