How many times has somebody genuinely wanted to help you with a situation, but

because they weren’t members of the same social class you dismissed them by saying
something along the lines of, “How can you truly care? You don’t understand what it’s
like to be (insert identity here)?” Or maybe you said, “You’ve never had to (insert
struggle here).” I too am guilty of misinterpreting a person’s willingness to help as a
showcase of condescendence in my past. And, I too, was wrong.

Yes it’s true that unless you have experienced the exact same events, exact same
reactions, and exact same outcomes, you can’t truly understand exactly how somebody
feels. However, one of human beings’ greatest accomplishments is the ability to
empathize. It doesn’t take the exact same experiences to empathize with someone. Not
everybody has genial intentions all the time, but simply having a different background
does not necessarily make a person insensitive to others’ concerns.

During times of social change, it takes the compassion, empathy, and effort of people of
the majority to help promote change for those in the minority. Regardless of their
motives, whether they are for the greater good or self-serving, without the support of
those in power, change would occur much more slowly, if at all. Martin Luther King, Jr.
was partly successful because he did not only propagate social equality to the
disenfranchised, but to all. I realize that, had it not been for the spilled blood and lives of
many White people during the 1860’s I might not have the ability to lead a free life today.

I have participated in various movements, volunteered for years with youth, and tried to
help them develop skills to cope with poverty, abuse, and other forms of injustice so that
they might have a better chance to develop and obtain goals they might not otherwise
have. Recently, I signed the marriage boycott to show my support of equal rights for the
LGBT community. Although I don’t know what it feels like to have the exact same
struggles, but I can empathize.

Last week a coworker and friend invited me out before I returned to America after
several months working in Chile. We went to a small restaurant and discussed differences
between the USA and Chile covering everything from governmental and work-related
politics to geographical and cultural differences. We talked about how difficult it can be
to manage the cost of living in Chile, specifically Santiago, where the cost of living is
inflated. The typical workday starts at 9:00 AM, ends at 7:00 PM, and the wages are
rarely sufficient to support oneself.  At that part of the conversation she said something
that truly resonated with me. “Now you can forget about here.”

I asked her what she meant and why she said that. I explained that although the days were
long and the wages were low, I didn’t regret going there. These kinds of experiences have
their ups and downs, pros and cons, but ultimately have a major impact on our lives and
paths. She replied, “You can go on and do big things. For me, this is it. I can’t move up
anywhere from here.”

My friend is a secretary and has been working at the firm for three years. Because she
was not given the option to go to school, her chances for advancement have been severely
limited, and she sits by and watches as the very apparent class system dictates how far
one can go in their career. She may know more about the legal processes than most of the
new lawyers, but she’ll never have the chance to work in any other capacity as long as
she is here. I’ve watched time and time again as people walk past her and other
secretaries without acknowledging their presence yet treat me with the utmost respect.

Even after the volunteering, special interest groups, and reading texts about social
mobility and class constructs, last week was the first time I truly identified with a
privileged class—and that bothered me very much. Back home in the States I definitely
wouldn’t describe myself as such, but traveling abroad literally brings a different world
into focus.

When dealing with youth, it is much easier to see their situation as temporary—
something that can be changed with a little intervention. To look into the dismayed eyes
of an intelligent and driven adult who does not have access to upward mobility because
of class restraints is completely different. Growing up, due to my socio-economic
background, I always felt I was at a disadvantage and had to work twice as hard to gain
access to the institutions and facilities that others felt entitled, but I never felt hopeless. I
knew that if I put in 200% where others put in 100%, I could be successful.

I can’t honestly say I know what hopelessness feels like, but I can definitely empathize.
Our backgrounds and identities should not be ignored, nor should they prohibit us from
learning from one another. As we open ourselves up to that learning we may find
ourselves not only better equipped for helping others, but also helping ourselves become
more fulfilled in life. In America, the very fact that we have these opportunities is
freedom we should never take for granted.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Michael Maine.
Michael Maine is dedicated to global communication, collaboration, and cooperation.
Originally planning on utilizing his problem solving and strategic strengths in the
corporate sector, his eyes were opened and life changed after taking his first Sociology
class at Southwestern University, where he graduated with a bachelor in Business and
minors in both Sociology and Communications.