Zhu 1!

EARTH AND HIS WIFE— THE ABUSIVE HUMANS

Copyright (c) 2016 This screenplay may not be used or

reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes
without the expressed written permission of the author.
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Written and edited by:

Danny Zhu

11 June 2020

Cast of Characters:

Real “World”:

Earth: The main protagonist of our play, an unfortunate husband

to an abusive wife known as humans.

Wife(Humans): The primary antagonist, an irresponsible and

self-caring wife who fails to see the sickness of his husband.

Planets: Earth’s Friends at the bar, they usually give

commentary or support for Earth.

Viruses: Martyrs of Earth’s shelf that plots a revenge against

the wife for destroying their environment.

“World” inside Wife:

Brain Cell: A leader that controls the activities within the

body.

Stomach Cell: A delegate that wants radical change.

Protesters: Protagonists who tell the truth about the condition

of Earth and the virus.

Integumentary Cell: The first delegate to support the truth

that the protesters are advocating

Immune Cell: A general that has witnessed the devastation of

the virus

Muscle Cell: The delegate of an organ discriminated due to the

virus
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Scene 1:

INT. A BAR

[EARTH enters the bar]

MERCURY, VENUS, MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, NEPTUNE, PLUTO

[Excitedly] Hey! Look who’s finally back. God, it feels like

an epoch since you last came.

MARS

Buddy, what made you come back to the “lair”? I thought your
wife (Humans) was so tough on you and even almost “killed you”

MERCURY, VENUS, MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, NEPTUNE, PLUTO

God, she and her buying (Destroying environments) and even
abusing you (Industrialization), you are like Johnny Depp.

EARTH

 I know right, but I can finally take a break since she got
sick recently due to a virus infecting her, it got so bad that
her cells were almost at war with each other!

MERCURY, VENUS, MARS, JUPITER, SATURN, NEPTUNE, PLUTO

[Confused] You…seem oddly happy? We never talked to you for a
long time, tell us about it.

EARTH
Well, it is a long story, so sit back and let me begin
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Scene 2:

INT. SMALL HOUSE OF EARTH AND WIFE-DAY

[EARTH and HIS WIFE, the human, are arguing]

EARTH
HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, THAT I WILL BURN UP AT A
RATE OF NEARLY 6 DEGREES IN THE NEXT CENTURY1. THAT IS
DETRIMENTAL TO MY HEALTH. SO PLEASE, STOP BURNING THE
FIREPLACE (Let global warming slow down)

The doctor said the more I sweat (Ice cap melting), the more
prone I am to death. You were there with me that day.

WIFE
God, calm down. It’s just some minor temperature rise , just a
few decades (Days) ago you were as cool as ice, and here you
are, fussing over “melting” and dying. Grow up

EARTH
Stop abusing the kindness I provided you with (resources). It
was me who took care of your entire life since “marriage,”
providing you with shelter and happiness, but you return this
delicate love with nothing except your own indulgences and
lack of care.

WIFE
Aww cmon~look! The fire is making me so happy! It is tempting
to just sit here to watch it burn, I will deal with your
global warming problem later. Just a few more minutes of fire
watching

Analysis: it shows how humans are more willing to indulge in a

short burst of self pleasure rather than look at the long term
consequences. In this analogy, the wife was mesmerized in the
beauty of a fire instead of caring for a dying Earth.

1“Global Warming.” NASA, 3 June 2010, earthobservatory.nasa.gov/features/GlobalWarming/page3.php.

Accessed 1 June 2020
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Scene 3:

[The wife attempts to remove some of the cute tiny figurines

from a shelf]

EARTH
Seriously, my love? Stop touching my “figurines”. Do you know
how many evolutions and tries it took to make them perfect and
intricate?

WIFE
But come on honey, they are just occupying precious space on
the shelf along with those woody broccolis over there, whats
the point of even keeping them?

EARTH
They, are my key to happiness, and you used to love those!
Before your headstrong attitude and undermining my love.

WIFE
I thought I am your key to happiness…

EARTH
Well, you used to be. Ever since you started exploiting my
shelf and those figurines’ habitat for your own goods, it has
been so troublesome for me to put everything back to the
stability it used to be!

EARTH
Plus, instead of exploiting my precious space, why can’t you
just learn to conserve! Don’t crowd everything in my place,
you know even our best friend Jimmy Carter told us to protect
the Arctic Refuge shelf and its precious figurines (wildlife)
because of its great beauty 2. Just please reduce your spending
habits.

2C., Mikayla. “Jimmy Carter Arctic Refuge Rhetorical Analysis.” Medium, 3 Feb. 2019, medium.com/
@sf.humans/jimmy-carter-arctic-refuge-rhetorical-analysis-f4bd18faea84. Accessed 9 June 2020

(Actual Letter taken from SAT Practice Test 1 Essay Question)

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WIFE
[Murmurs under her breath]

Just a shelf that can be better used by my fancy goods. What’s

the worst that can happen.

[Scene changes to conversation within the shelf]

FIGURINES
Fellow organisms, we have gathered you all for this emergency
meeting. As you all know, our perfectly balanced ecosystem has
been severely disrupted by this woman’s ruthless actions of
removing us.

CORONAVIRUS
Petition for revenge, my lord!

FIGURINES
Speak, and tell us your revenge plan, sir coronavirus.

CORONAVIRUS
We can attach onto the figurines, and when that vile woman
once again disrupts us, we invade her body and screw her up.

[Wife comes and picks up one of the figurines to throw

away just as the viruses are latching onto it]

CORONAVIRUS
Oh boy, here I go killing again.

Analysis:

We are inborn to be greedy, and modernization fuels this even

more. Truth to be told, we do not care for the environment
around us, we are too busy mass producing and exploiting to
make our own lives better. Everyone should pity the Earth, who
has kept organisms coexisting for so long, only to be
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destroyed by us… As a consequence, the viruses come, as a

warning of our actions.

Scene 4:

WIFE
What horrid disease is wreaking havoc upon me. My metabolism
(economy and trade) is dying and so are my precious cells. I
must go to the hospital immediately. Goodbye Earth! I will
come back soon~

EARTH
[Closes eyes]

Finally, inner peace. I feel younger without her already.

MERCURY
So thats how you came here. Good for you then! Living the
dream.

EARTH

When she contracted the disease, she finally stopped burning

that fireplace and now my warming has slowed by nearly 8%! The
amount of those warming gasses from the fire produced is going
to drop by almost 3 billion tonnes 3. I feel so relaxed.

MARS
Cheers! Not to mention how you even look cleaner, no more bad
pollution on your face 4, and I remember you said some
figurines have even returned to your shelves after theres no
human disruption 5!

3McGrath, Matt. “Coronavirus: Five Charts about the Biggest Carbon Crash.” BBC, 6 May 2020,
www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-52485712. Accessed 11 June 2020
4Martha, Henriques. “Will Covid-19 have a lasting impact on the environment?” BBC, 27 March 2020, https://
www.bbc.com/future/article/20200326-covid-19-the-impact-of-coronavirus-on-the-environment. Accessed 4
June 2020
5 John, Brunton. “ ‘Nature is taking back Venice’: wildlife returns to tourist-free city.” The Guardian, 20 March
2020, https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/mar/20/nature-is-taking-back-venice-wildlife-returns-to-
tourist-free-city. Accessed 6 June 2020
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PLUTO
I wish we had figurines, not stupid barren lands and ice

EARTH
This is great for me! Just some rest and relaxation without
anyone leeching off me. Still, she is my wife, and I should go
check on her.

[Earth leaves the pub]

Analysis:
The world has indeed become a cleaner environment without
human intervention, and while this serenity is temporary, it
can say a lot about how much we have harmed the environment
and ourselves as well.
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Scene 5

INT,WIFE’S BODY

WIFE
Ugh, I feel horrible. I wonder how my tragic body is doing
right now…

BRAIN CELL
And now, we propose United Organs Resolution 1569 to provide
immediate aid towards impoverished cells in the Lung Area to
ease the unstoppable infection.

STOMACH CELL
This severe pandemic has crippled our body, but while aid is
of priority, we need to immediately leave this hospital no
matter the circumstances, and restart our own frenzy shopping
(economy) first. This is our only way to survive.

BRAIN CELL
You do realize that we might collapse by just suddenly
restarting the body, right? Every organ system is failing
because of this cursed virus, and here you are blubbering the
impossible.

STOMACH CELL
I understand that some will die, but that is a risk we must
to take to get things back on track.

(Protesters in the background chanting)

Protect Earth and the body, not the economy!

STOMACH CELL
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What is going on? Why would you radical people want to

protest! Do you not see the great pleasure of buying and
exploitation? (AKA the sins of an industrialized world)

PROTESTERS
You fool, the greediness caused us pain. Your decision to
remove figurines from the shelf has destroyed their habitat
for your own profit. The great Amazon shelf is losing 78
million acres of precious figurines every year 6 ! Do you not
have morality?

INTEGUMENTARY CELL

Unfortunately, I have to agree. The virus breached our border
defenses as revenge of clearing their land…
In fact, intelligence says our husband’s Amazon shelf might be
nurturing a giant virus never found before 7. I say we stop
their destruction or face more pain.

IMMUNE CELL
The consequences for this attack, is severe. Everywhere in the
body is desolated, countless poor cells are crushed by the
biggest poverty rise since 1998 8 . Millions of our personnel
dead.

PROTESTERS
Not to mention cell rights! Social isolation has been
malevolent to those who are abused 9.

LUNG CELL
Our people… have been hardest hit by this disease… yet the
insufferable pain simply does not end, as we are discriminated

6 “The Disappearing Rainforests.” Rain-Tree Publishers , rain-tree.com/facts.html. Accessed 10 June 2020

7“Scientists discover new mysterious virus in Brazil.” THEWEEK, 11 February 2020, https://www.theweek.in/
news/sci-tech/2020/02/11/Scientists-discover-new-mysterious-virus-in-Brazil.html. Accessed 3 June 2020
8Lanker,Christoph. “The Impact of COVID-19 (Coronavirus) on Global Poverty: Why Sub-Saharan Africa
Might Be the Region Hardest Hit.” World Bank Blogs, 20 Apr. 2020, blogs.worldbank.org/opendata/impact-
covid-19-coronavirus-global-poverty-why-sub-saharan-africa-might-be-region-hardest. Accessed 11 June 2020
9Taub, Amanda. “A New Covid-19 Crisis: Domestic Abuse Rises Worldwide.” The New York Times, The New
York Times, 6 Apr. 2020, www.nytimes.com/2020/04/06/world/coronavirus-domestic-violence.html. Accessed 2
June 2020
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upon 10!In Mouth City, my fellow cells are arrested and

stripped of their rights simply due to their identity 11. Why
is a body of such perfect harmony dividing?

BRAIN CELL
Silence! I hear your suffering. The economy, the poor and
crippled, the abused 12 are all vulnerable in this special
time. And I have been captivated by the detrimental damage we
have caused. Not only for ourselves, but our precious Earth.
He tried to love us, yet we returned with greed.

CELLS
We vow to change our attitude!

(Scene switches)

INT, HOSPITAL

EARTH

Hey Honey, how are you doing?

(Wife crying)
Please forgive me… I know I have been a bad wife lately. I
have bullied you, treated your precious property for nothing
and hypnotized by greed. I will change for the better.

EARTH
Woah, what a miracle! Perhaps now, we can finally embark on
the wonderful relationship we married each other for~.

10“Rights Experts Warn against Discrimination in COVID-19 Response | | UN News.” United Nations, 6 Apr.
2020, news.un.org/en/story/2020/04/1061122. Accessed 19 May 2020

Vincent, Danny. “Africans in China: We Face Coronavirus Discrimination.” BBC News, 17 Apr. 2020,
11
www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-52309414. Accessed 7 June 2020
12“Everyone Included: Social Impact of COVID-19 | DISD.” United Nations, 2020, www.un.org/development/
desa/dspd/everyone-included-covid-19.html. Accessed 11 June 2020
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THE END