Rylie Gumtow

Mr. Ventura

Adv. English 12

October 18, 2020

From both of my peer reviewers I noticed how they both gave me useful true information

that I could use in revising my essay. Both Jason and Brynn suggested on making my thesis

clearer for the reader to clearly understand and interpret of what I will be discussing. They both

mentioned that I had provided a good explanation and detail of the nature vs. nurture that takes

place in my debate. I agree with them that I clearly stated what they were and how they are

viewed and perceived from an outside stance. I believe that both of my reviewers gave me useful

information, as I looked back and reflected on my essay to better it and make it more organized.

As I started to revise my essay I took in some of the suggestions like making sure I focused on

the delivery of my essay, using ethos, logos and pathos, which provided how my essay would be

organized and why I would use those in my essay. I focused on fixing egregious errors as well as

dummy subjects, and wording errors that I didn’t notice at first when I completed my essay. I

also focused on using more relevant information in my paragraphs, I mentioned the case of Chris

Watts in Colorado, that only happened 2 years ago, that had swept the news and social media. I

thought it would be beneficial to include a case like that in my essay, for further research and to

further provide supporting details. I also included this because it falls under the rule of relevancy

in my essay and how my topic continues to be relevant. They also made mention about making

the essay more organized so I made some changes for my essay to flow smoother and further

make sense when reading it. Even though my reviewers gave me some really good information
and things to fix in my essay, there were some points they made that I simply disagreed with and

thought that I had already accomplished in my essay. They said to provide solid supporting

details and how they are relevant, I think I captured that in my essay because as we study this

topic to this day we look back at these people who have committed violent crimes on others, and

we study them and try and understand what they did. I believe the information I provided helped

better understand why this topic is still relevant and timely and why it is important. Overall I

agree with what they said and why they said it and I am glad I can further my essay and make it

better. I believe the input from other classmates is useful in better my writing not only in English

but in other classes. I think its beneficial to receive criticism not only from the teacher but from

my peers as well. I use this information and go back through and figure out how it is useful and

what else I can do to fix my essay. I appreciated the feedback I got from my peers so I could

make my essay better as a whole.