This is a speech about eggs.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I'm going to talk to you about chicken eggs. Eggs are wonderful things. I'm sure you will know that they
come in various shapes, sizes and colours. The most common of course are white, brown, but even
speckled eggs. They are graded by size into small, medium, large and even extra-large. These days they
are even stamped, so you can tell exactly what date they were laid on and which farm and which
country they came from. Eggs have a hard shell. Inside there is the egg-white and floating in the white
you find the bright yellow yolk. Most eggs have only one yolk, but just occasionally you get two. When I
was little my mother used to make me soft boiled eggs whenever I went to stay with her. Soft boiled
eggs are the ones you boil in water for about three minutes and serve in an egg cup to hold it still so that
you can eat it. The idea is that the egg white is cooked and becomes solid, but the egg yolk is just warm
and stays runny so that you can dip bread into it. I used to eat them with a slice of bread that was
buttered that my mother used to cut into strips of bread and she called these soldiers. Sometimes she
used to take the top off the egg and find a double yolk inside. She used to get incredibly excited about
that. Dance around the house shouting that it was good luck. These days you can actually buy whole
cartons of eggs with double yolks just as if it were normal occurrence. Another old favourite egg recipe
is the omelet. It's a traditional student food because all you have to do is beat the eggs with a little milk,
add seasoning, that's salt, pepper and maybe some herbs if you fancy. You then pour the mixture into a
frying pan and heat it gently until it has set and cooked through. The joy of omelets is that you can put
just about anything you like into them. You can make a cheese omelet, or put salmon into it if you are
feeling adventurous, or bacon, or vegetables, whatever. You just add your ingredients into the basic
mixture and hey presto... a gourmet meal for however many people you need. Omelets bring me right
on to my favorite egg dish: scrambled eggs. These are even easier to make than omelets. I've always
thought of them as omelets for beginners. Because scrambled eggs are basically nothing more than a
failed omelet. To scramble an egg, you simply cook it while stirring. Gone is the stress of trying to keep it
in one piece, worrying that the middle is cooked through, worrying that it might still be runny, or trying
to serve it without it falling apart. You simply stir up the whole gooey mess together, cook it through
and swear blind that it was utterly deliberate.