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Seeking Solitude: the positive effects of being alone

Thesis · January 2019

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Seeking Solitude
The positive effects of being alone

Samantha Vosse
Introduction
Solitude creates, among other things, time for reflection, self-discovery and spiritual
elevation. It is a time for thinking and relaxation. Still, solitude is often described as
something negative and bad. In this essay, I want to highlight the positive aspects it can
have. Solitude is something I and many others enjoy. But there are also people, who can’t
handle being on their own for long periods of time. Is being alone something we can learn or
are some just better at it than others? How does being in solitude affect our personality and
interaction with others? I hypothesize that solitude improves our understanding of ourselves
and that we are therefore better at understanding others.
Solitude isn't the same as loneliness
When you translate the word “solitude” into Dutch it says “eenzaamheid”. When translating
this back to English you get the word “loneliness”.​ ​We have to start by understanding that
solitude​ and ​loneliness​ are two very different things, even though they both revolve around
the term ‘alone’.
Choosing to be alone, and enjoying that experience is called solitude. Here we are talking
about literally being by yourself, with no one else around.
When you don't choose to be alone, but you are alone, and this is making you miserable, we
are talking about loneliness. The big difference is that you can also feel lonely even when
there are other people around.​1​ Loneliness is, therefore, more a mental state. Loneliness
increases stress, depression, it even increases the risk of dementia.​2
Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious choice to spent time in isolation. It is a physical
state of being that enhances good feelings.​3

Solitude is misunderstood
In many​ ​written texts, academic and philosophical, solitude is referred to as a bad thing.
They use words as; sadness, despair, loneliness and depression to describe solitude.​4​ Here
they are often talking about imposed solitude, not chosen solitude.
Solitude is the chosen state of being alone without feeling lonely. I would like to address that
you can still feel lonely when you are in solitude. This isn’t a direct consequence of being
alone, but rather the way you deal with this alone time. When spending time in solitude you
are constantly confronted with yourself. With your own thoughts and doubts and emotions.​5
Especially if you are not used to this, it can be a very overwhelming experience that isn’t
pleasant and can increase negative feelings. You start to long for the things you miss and
the unfamiliarity of the situation can make you feel alienated from your surroundings and
yourself.​6

Having no distractions gives you time to do all kinds of tasks that need deep concentration.
When you don’t know how to fill your time, you can start to feel bored, increasing feelings of
anxiety.​7​ We have to ignore the pressure of the constant need we feel to be doing something
productive so that we can enjoy our time unplugged.

Solitude is a silent storm that breaks down all our dead branches, yet it sends our living roots
deeper into the living heart of the living earth.​ - Khalil Gibran
Solitude isn't just for introverts
Solitude is often enjoyed in silence, away from people. Being social and enjoying time alone
go together better than one might expect. We need to give our minds some peace and rest
in between social moments. To reflect on situations and understand ourselves and others.
Being in solitude gives us time to recharge and prepare for another wave of daily life. These
moments of solitude, short or long, create balance.

Though introverts tend to spend more time on their own, extroverts can be just as good at
being on their own. The trait that really determines if you will get the most out of your alone
time is called ​dispositional autonomy​, which is having a deep interest in your own thoughts.
There are two main types of solitude that people seek: ‘reactive solitude’ and ‘constructive
solitude’. Reactive solitude means someone desires solitude over interacting with others.
Constructive solitude is the pursuit of solitude for its mental values and benefits.​8

Solitude is a good thing

Spending time with yourself can have many benefits.​9​ It may increase your creativity, partly
because you are more focused. This uninterrupted focus also enhances your ability to solve
problems and concentrate on difficult tasks.​10​ By giving yourself the time to simply be, you
will start to remember events from the past and reflect on them in a more clear way than
before.

The more you are on your own the easier it gets, you learn to deal with the vast amount of
thoughts and develop ways to sort out your emotions. Over time this will create space for
new thoughts and emotions.​11​ Patience is key in this process. Meditation can help to ease
this transition from always being connected to being in solitude. When anchoring your
attention to a single focus, such as breathing, your body starts to calm down and relax,
giving it space to deal with the new situation.​9

The deeper understanding of yourself, that you get from spending time alone, enriches your
life and can help you de-stress. You will feel more confident and in harmony with the world
around you. By building up your sense of self you get to know that you don’t need constant
validation of others, on- and offline. You can feel good about yourself by your own
validation.​12
Solitude is being in control
Our sense of self has changed over the years. In a world that is connected 24/7, it might
seem impossible to be in solitude unless we go to the outskirts of the world and hide in the
forest or stay on a plane of ice. The need we feel to constantly be connected is something
we have to learn to let go. Solitude isn’t a set of rules you have to follow to experience all the
beneficial effects and avoid all the negative effects. There is not a set timeframe after which
you will start to feel different, no one tells you to turn off your phone (though it will benefit the
feeling of solitude), there is no certain distance you have to be away from other people. You
can experience solitude in nature as well as in the city. Everyone experiences solitude
differently and in his or her own time and space.

Being on your own means there are no other people to take into account when making
decisions or doing activities. It gives a certain sense of freedom that is otherwise absolute.
The inner peace and relaxation that occurs can create heightened sensory awareness which
provides a more accurate memory and a better understanding of our surroundings.​6

Isolation is a way to know ourselves.​ - Franz Kafka

Solitude is about connecting

There are no literal connections while being in solitude, but there is a form of cause and
effect related to the self-revelation that is experienced through solitude. It might feel like a
strange thing to become friends with yourself. But if you know yourself very well, and learn to
like that person, it is easier to communicate with other people.​13​ When we are in true
solitude we can experience enlightenment. We discover things about ourselves that are
otherwise suppressed by the drag of everyday life.

When we start to understand, really deeply understand, why we do things, react in certain
ways and feel the way we feel, only then we can start to understand why other people do,
react and feel the way they do. It increases our empathy towards others. If we show others
we understand their situation they will feel more secure around us and ultimately will feel
happier and more at ease.​9
Solitude is being together ​(conclusion)
Solitude and loneliness are two very different things, though the two terms are often used
interchangeably. For some, it is easy to be on their own and fill their time with valuable
activities. For others, it is more difficult to be on their own and to be confronted with all of
their thoughts and emotions that were previously numbed by the rush of life. But the benefits
of solitude apply to everyone. These include; an increase in creativity, deep relaxation and
you become better at solving problems.

Being in uninterrupted silence gets you involved in your own emotions and thoughts. You get
to really understanding them, creating an inward awareness that helps you improve your
outward awareness. Because by understanding your own feelings and actions, you can
better step into someone else's shoes and understand what they are experiencing.

Solitude isn’t made up by a set of rules and a precise outcome. All that is needed is a place
where you can disconnect from the world. Everyone will experience solitude in a different
way. There is no right or wrong.
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