UNFUCKWITHABLE

a solo show

by eliana pipes

www.elianapipes.com
elianapipes@gmail.com
 2

CHARACTERS:

Girl (black/latina woman of color*, mid to late 20’s)

Powerful, full of contradictions, and burned out to a serious breaking point.

* This play is part of a three-part cycle along with Cowboy and the Moon. Although
the plays don’t exist in the same world, The Girl character in Unfuckwithable is an
extension of the Girl in Cowboy. Casting decisions about Girl may be dependent on
casting decisions made about Cowboy in associated productions.

TIME AND PLACE:

America, Near Future

The entire play takes place in and around a 2008 Mercedes Sprinter Van with a high roof and
a 144 inch wheel base.

It shouldn’t look ragged or dystopian. Nothing should be in tatters or stained with dirt. It
should be bright, clean, and modern – it should look appealing.

In my budget-free dream world this thing looks like an actual Van that’s cut down the
middle and bisected. But, in the real world in which we live, an approximation is perfectly
fine – but it’s crucial that the actor is able to get on top of the van.

NOTES:

In the play, the CAMERA and FORUM exist as digital tools that the Girl engages with, but
they should also be attached to a consistent physical space/reference point on stage.

The gun should never be pointed in the direction of the audience.

It’s gonna get wild.

 1

SCENE ONE

SQ 1 X
At rise, an open outdoor landscape with sparse greenery.
There’s a white Van parked in the middle of the scene.

SQ 1.1 GIRL
X enters from the Van in a hurry, and she comes
into the clearing.

She’s wearing modern, pedestrian clothes – a nice tank

top, sneakers. She’d fit right in at a trendy coffee shop,
you’d think to yourself what a pleasant young lady.

She’s holding a large black bag slung over one shoulder.

She looks around and assesses the clearing, carefully

checking the view of the sky x– it takes a moment to SQ1.2
make sure, but her view is obstructed at every angle.
Dammit.

She looks around for another solution. She tries standing

on a tree stump. No. She approaches a tree and
considers climbing it. No.

Then she gets an idea – and turns to her Van.

She rushes to the Van, and delicately removes the bag

that’s been slung over her shoulder. She lifts it over her
head and places it onto the roof. Then, she darts to the
ladder mounted to the Van and climbs it.

She stands on the roof of the Van, and takes another

look up to the sky.

Much better visibility from up here, it’s perfect. She

smiles to herself – then she turns to the audience and
shares her satisfaction.

GIRL
(vocalizes)
Hmph.

Then she remembers she’s in a hurry.

She kneels to opens the large bag, and takes out a gun.
 2

It’s a classic .12 guage, double-barrel, break-action

shotgun. She handles it deliberately and carefully.

She removes the gun from the bag, then pulls the latch
and breaks the barrel. She begins to load it.

Then she looks up to the audience to explain herself.

GIRL
I’m not trying to scare you, I just don’t have much time.
I’ll explain –
Just –

The light changes. The sky is turning warm and red, it’s
dusk. She looks up.

GIRL
Fuck – losing daylight.

She loads the second bullet into the gun and brings the
barrel back up to close the break – it clicks into place.

She fishes a pair of binoculars out of the bag and loops

them around her neck. Then she takes out a pair of clear
sunglass-like goggles, and puts in earplugs.

Then she stands with the gun.

GIRL
I’m not a gun person, I want to be clear.
This is my manifesto, but it’s not a gun person manifesto.
Or at least I think it’s not.

SQ 2.8ThenX– a rustling sound, like a wind rustling through the

trees in the distance. Getting closer.

Girl snaps to attention – and looks up at the sky.

She spots something, then picks up her binoculars to get

SQ 2.9 a closer look.X Bingo.

She takes aim.

 3

SQ 3 X – BANG.
She fires

She vocalizes on the shot, it’s a shock, it’s a thrill –

But nothing – she missed. She takes aim again –

SQ 3.1 She firesX– BANG.

Nothing.

She lowers the gun and watches her target move out of
view. Missed that one.

GIRL
See? Not a gun person.

She kneels at her bag again and breaks the barrel to

reload as she speaks.

GIRL
This is sort of my first time – or, first time off the range.
I took a training, did the class. Thought it was the responsible thing to do.
And there was a three-day waiting period so I watched a thousand videos for research – gun
cleaning, gun safety, gun history, gun storage solutions, the importance of the stock-to-cheek
weld. I even got into this wormhole on channels that restore and polish rusty old antique
pistols from the 1800s. One of the guys got lead poisoning – crazy stuff.

But anyway – my point is, you’re safe.

You don’t have to be worried.
I know what I’m doing.
...
I mostly know what I’m doing.

SQ 3.8 Another rustling sound X

–

She clicks the barrel closed, and stands to search the sky
again. She holds her binoculars at the ready.

GIRL
It’s funny – I did the class, I did the range, I even did target practice with cans!
But this?
This is so different than the little clay ducks on the slingshot.
They move – different.
I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise.
 4

SQ 4 She aims, she firesX– BANG.

Missed.

GIRL
Fuck –

SQ 4.1 She aims again, she firesX– BANG.

Nothing. And her target is gone.

GIRL
Closer.

She drops to her knees and breaks the barrel to reload

again, two more shells.

GIRL
But I do just want to be clear, I’m not like a gun enthusiast –
I hated the shop, and the range, I’m not pro-gun generally, I don’t advocate for guns –
This is a necessity thing.

I guess I’m just saying –

If there was any other way to do this, I would’ve taken it.
And I’m still thinking! I am.
But for now, this is the best option I’ve got.

I’m getting ahead of myself –

She sets the gun down. She sits on the edge of the Van
and l addresses the audience earnestly.

GIRL
This is my manifesto.
And I want to thank you all for being here with me.

I’m doing this because I think it’s important to record what you believe.
And because I think I might have broken my brain.

I have no conclusive evidence in either direction, so I’m waiting.

But I have a reasonable suspicion that my brain may be broken.
I think too much, but also not enough – and nothing makes sense.
I also have a suspicion that a broken brain might not be such a bad thing.
 5

And if this works – ?

If this works, then I might have figured out something important.
Something that I already knew.

SQ 5 Another rustling sound.X

She finishes reloading – click. She stands at the ready

with her binoculars. She spots it, she aims –

Before she fires, she lets out a sound –

A loud sound, a guttural sound. A ‘nobody can hear me’

sound. She holds it as she FIRES AGAINX– SQ 5.1

BANG.

The sound of an IMPACT,Xlike a metal clang – SQ 5.15

Then:

A huge DELIVERY DRONE crashes to the ground in

front of her with a smoking bullet hole through the
central machinery.

The Delivery Drone is holding a box emblazoned with

the smiling logo of a ubiquitous mega-corporation.

She releases the sound, and stops.

Victory.

5.8 XShift.

SCENE TWO:

In the transition, the Girl sweeps up the fallen Drone

and cardboard box, and stows them away.

Then, she approaches a CAMERA –

This can be indicated by an actual camera on a tripod, a

bright light, a live-cast video camera, whatever you’d like.
 6

When she talks to the camera, it’s distinct from when she
talks to the audience. When she speaks to the camera it
seems like she has a sugar rush, her voice is brighter and
more feminine.

She wavesXto the camera. SQ6

GIRL
Hi – and thanks for watching!
I super appreciate you for being here with me and following along with my journey! Today
I’m gonna give you a tour of my home.

I feel so silly doing this – but uh, when I was working on my build I learned so much from
seeing what other people did with theirs, so I figure I should contribute. To the community,
the conversation – whatever.

And I do think it’s really useful information, too! Like, for the public good, you know. I
mean, these days there aren’t very many viable options for affordable living, and this is a
popular solution for – oh. Anyway, now I’m rambling –

I live in a van. This van. Behind me.

She points to her Van.

GIRL
So, I’m doing Van Life! I’ve only been on the road a few weeks, so there’s a ton of stuff I’m
still figuring out, but so many of you followed along with the construction process, so I
wanted to show you the final product.

Now, because the space is so small, a lot of the game is in tailoring your Van to your specific
needs – to your life, and the lifestyle you want. Some VanLifers are part of the minimalist
movement really religiously, some are not – I’m definitely not.

Definitely not.

But no matter how you slice it, living in such a small space sort of forces your hand. You
just can’t keep that many things. And it’s really liberating, actually – to find out that you
don’t need all this stuff that you were holding on to just because.

And that’s really part of what’s beautiful about Van Life – you get to reject the idea that
everybody needs this traditional cookie cutter life you know? Like, 9 to 5 job, white picket
fence, 2.5 kids. Those old metrics don’t have to be the only way that I define myself. You
can think outside of the box.
 7

So! X 7

We see inside the Van for the first time.

It shouldn’t look ragged or dystopian. Nothing should

be in tatters or stained with dirt. It should be bright,
clean, and modern – it should look appealing.

Throughout the tour, emphasis should be placed on all

the words that describe a typical home. “living room,”
“dining room,” “garage.”

GIRL
So, this is kind of like the foyer – slash – entrance – slash – mudroom – slash – porch area.
Right here is where I put my shoes, and this is where I hang up my raincoat, and my
umbrella.

She approaches the cab where the driver’s seat and

passenger’s seat are.

GIRL
So this is the Cab. Got the driver’s seat right here, the Captain’s Chair. And the passenger’s
seat. Mostly vacant – I usually keep laundry here, or spare papers. I travel alone, so uh. Not
much company.

BUT – it does swivel around like this and then, drumroll please! THIS –

She swivels the seat so that it faces in toward the rest of

the Van.

GIRL
– is my living room! Boom! Yeah. The swivel seat is super lucrative. It’s great to just be able
to stretch out, y’know. See?X SQ7.8

She sits in the seat and tries stretch her arms and legs.
There’s very clearly no space, she winds up in a
spectacularly cramped pose.

GIRL
I’m tall, I’m sort of particularly tall, so it’s difficult to um – but if you just stretch a little

She moves her body again, trying to stretch into the seat.
 8

GIRL
There you go. Great. Yeah.
So! On to the kitchen!

She stands and takes a very tiny step to the right.

Okay! This is the kitchen!

Butcher block countertop because it’s light, easy on the suspension. When you’re building a
Van you have to think about keeping your weight balanced so that you don’t tip over or
wreck the suspension – nobody will tell you this at the start but it’s very important.
Lightweight.

Got a working water pump up here, and a 15 gallon freshwater tank that feeds into a grey
water tank here, which you have to dump by hand, which is pretty gross, but – fine. I love
it, I love doing it!

Everything is hooked up to my solar panel, and the Van runs on a hybrid of gas and solar.

Oh – some terms. I’m a stealth van, and an off-grid camper. So that means I don’t have
windows, looks just like a delivery truck from the outside. And off-grid means I run off
solar, and I don’t have to plug into electrical, so I can stock up on water and go out into the
woods and away from civilization for as long as my water will last. That comes in handy a lot
more than you’d think.

Aaaaaand this is my pantry! –

She opens the cabinets above the sink.

GIRL
I made these doors myself, which is why they’re crooked.
All my kitchen basics stuff – pots and pans, pasta, spices, radiation tester for water, radiation
tester for soil, and overnight oats.

And now, over here –

She moves to a different part of the van, and in the

process she accidentally opens a cabinet door –

Inside: her shotgun, a stunning stockpile of ammo. Next

to the gun, she keeps the carcass of the shot drone with
all it’s technological parts and pieces splayed out. Then,
the contents of the packages she raided – cheap
necklaces, twine, headphones.
 9

It should have the feeling of a shrine.

Girl looks to camera.

Girl quickly shuts the cabinet door.

Girl looks to the audience for a moment. Whoops.

A small circuit board in the corner of the Van catches

her eye – she goes to it, and addresses the CAMERA
again.

GIRL
Oh – this is important. Wifi! I have a mesh network and a modem, so I can log in from just
about anywhere. It’s how I make these videos, how I stay connected.
Oh, I realize you’d have no way of knowing this, but I do tech!
Programming! Or, I used to – in another life.
(she gets lost in thought)
So, um. So um.
(she snaps out of it)
So it helps! To be able to use my computer out on the road.
Helps me feel more normal.
What’s next. Oh!

She takes another small step.

GIRL
This is my powder room! Over here is where I keep my toiletries! Toothbrush and
moisturizer and makeup and all that stuff. Little mirror up here next to my plant, which is
dying, but I’m working on it!

The bedroom! Pretty self explanatory. And back here –

She bounds over the bed and opens the back doors.

GIRL
The garage! It’s full of crap I don’t need, just like everyone else’s.

And that’s just about it. All and all it’s 85 square feet.
It’s not much, but it’s mine. My own, I own it.
The only thing I really own.
 10

Y’know, people always ask me why I got into this, living in a van – how I got it into my
head. If you’ve been following me for a while you already know this spiel, but for the new
folks – the answer is. I had a wake-up call.
I had a serious wake-up call.

I left my job, left the city behind – and I chose this life for the –
(she trails off)
I chose this life –
(she trails off again)

She looks to the audience.

Maybe Camera video freezes, maybe the bright Camera

light dims, maybe a projection of the edited “Van Tour”
video continues uninterrupted during her aside.

GIRL
That’s – that’s a lie.X SQ 10.5
I didn’t – um. I didn’t leave my job.
But I’m not ready to talk about that yet.

And honestly to say that I “chose” this life is a little inaccurate. A little unfair.
Technically – fine, technically it was my decision, my choice, sure –
but I chose it out of a very limited set of very shitty options.

And like, I’m gonna make lemonade, but it’s not exactly free will – is it?
It’s a hostage situation at worst and coercion at best.
It is freedom though. I meant that part.

I just – I don’t want to lie to you.

With them – ?
(she indicates the camera)
I can’t really be honest with them, usually. Part of my grand compromise.
But this? My manifesto? This is about the truth.
And I want you to know I’m being honest with you, really. The best that I can be.

It’s not like I never wanted a house. Y’know? Or a nice condo.

Some people do this because they’re nature freaks – not me! I don’t hike or bike or skate or
ski – none of that bullshit!
Honestly, I don’t even really like the outdoors. I stayed in the bus on elementary my school
trip to the national park – but that was mostly because of an allergy thing.

I just mean of course I dreamed of having a house one day, and a white picket fence, and
fucking indoor plumbing, but I’m never gonna get that, am I?
 11

So why pretend? Right.

I’ve never really spent less than 70% of my income on rent, that’s not an equation that leads
to home ownership, y’know? Doesn’t take much smarts to put that together –

I’m going to be in debt until I die.

I just am, it’s obvious. That’s supposed to be the game of my life, to chase down the student
debt, then to chase down the credit card debt, then to chase down the car debt, then chase
down the mortgage.

When I die, my rotting corpse will actually have negative value,

Because of all of the debt wafting in the air above it.

Who pays the debt when a young person dies? Is it my parents?

What if they’re dead too? Does my burden fall on good taxpayers?

And now that I don’t even have a job, don’t even have a shot at a job?
I mean – who’s going to take me now? In this market?
With my broken brain? No.
I’ll never win.

Sorry –x getting distracted, let me just. Finish up. SQ 11.5

She turns back to the camera.

She collects herself, and puts on her sugary to-camera

voice. It’s hypnotic, and convincing.

GIRL
I chose this life – for the freedom.
Not the freedom to adventure or to roam, although I do appreciate that too I guess.
But for the freedom to leave society. If I want to. And then come back. X SQ 11.8

My first trip starts today. I’m going across the country. Follow along if you want. x SQ11.9

Shift to:

SCENE THREE:

She sits in the car, driving fast down the open road.

Driving doesn’t have to mean that her hands are on the

wheel, she should just be fixed in the seat.
 12

She’s shifting with discomfort.

GIRL
X
I have GOT to pee. SO fucking badly. SQ 12
There’s no toilet in the Van, obviously – no plumbing, and I am suffering
I have an old Folgers cannister and a plastic bag. But I’d love not to let it get to that.
Just got to keep my mind off it.

I need to tell you about where we’re going, and about Miss Mary.
She’s very important to the manifesto – to what I believe in.

So – Miss Mary is my great grandmother, my mom’s grandma, this lady was amazing.
I never met her, she died ages before I was born, but I heard all these stories.

Miss Mary was Un.Fuck.Withable. As in cannot be fucked with. As in absolutely and utterly
badass and baller. Unfuckwithable.

Like – okay, okay for example:

Way back when, there was this plot of dead land.

Just dead, dead land – and nobody knew what to do with it. Sharecroppers wouldn’t even
touch it, nothing could grow.
And eventually the land was just sort of, abandoned.
Until Miss Mary moved in.

Now at first she just built a house. Rows of houses popped up, a little town sprung up
around Mary – that’s just how she was. And all of a sudden this plot became a little
community.

Then, the market crashed. And she thought, well we’ve got to make sure we can eat. And
so she started to grow a crop, just in her back yard. And it fucking worked. Things grew they
grew on dead land!

And everybody thought she had this magic hand, but really it was better than that – she had
smarts! She had all this agricultural knowledge, just baked in. Things she’d learned from her
own parents, who had to work the field. Things she knew from watching the land up close,
where she’d grown up. We’d call it biodiversity today, regenerative farming. But she just,
knew.

And all of a sudden, she got things growing again – and that little backyard crop grew and
grew, and in the end she singlehandedly kept an entire town alive through the depression.
With her own two hands, and her patch of dirt.

Unbelievable – isn’t it?

 13

And she’s become like, the patron saint – like the icon of the women in our family. That
philosophy just got baked into my grandmother, then my mother, than me. Grow, build,
achieve.

If all you have is dirt, then you find a seed, you grow it into a tree, you cut down that tree,
you use the wood to build a door, and then you open that door.

Boom – opportunity.
If Miss Mary can do it then why can’t you?X SQ13.2

The car hits a BUMP in the road and then jostles. Girl’s
face twists with a sudden PANG of bladder pain.

GIRL
MMMH – fucking potholes on these backroads, the bumps are brutal.

Normally I’d find like a gym chain or something, I have a blanket membership for taking
showers on the road – that’s what all the blogs tell you to do for toilets, just the
membership. And sure, that’s fine when you’re going up the coast, but it’s so rural out here.
So many miles of open road, so flat.

A few gas stations, a few truck stops. I think there’s one up soon, but – I dunno. Not this
exit, not this one. Maybe the next one.
I mean I could pull over, it’s just –
Oh god I’m sweating.
Maybe I can sweat the water out instead of peeing it out?
Okay, FOCUS –

She refocuses on her story.

That’s where I’m going. Miss Mary’s farm.

Somebody died, some – uh. I think it was my second cousin? Or cousin removed? I don’t
know, I never met her. But she died, and the property was entailed down to my mother, and
she told me.

My mother is hoping I’ll stay there. At the farm. Property.

So I can have a safe place to be, a place to legally be. She’s been begging me to settle down
some place quiet, she hate the Van thing, hates it.

Indigent, that’s the word my mother always uses.

She works with lawyers so there’s all this lingo – and my mother’s way of being delicate is by
being clinical instead.
 14

In a court of law, I would be technically considered indigent.

I had to look it up.
Indigent means extremely poor, needy. In legal terms, indigence involves being so poor that
you can’t afford necessities for yourself like food and shelter.

Indigents are people who get public defenders – people who can’t afford their own legal
council. Which is everyone. Almost everyone. Like, companies have lawyers for the most
part, and people? Are indigent. I mean fuck, if you were charged with a big crime
tomorrow could you pay a lawyer? I couldn’t. Maybe she’s right.

But something about the definition just – itches me.

Needy. There’s something so fucking insulting about that.
Needy. Lacking. Vocabulary.com said “poor enough to need help from others.”

She think I’m homeless. Essentially.

That’s the implication, indigent – this is insufficient shelter. Proof of my destitution, in the
eyes of the law.
Maybe she’s right – sufficient shelter would have a fucking toilet, wouldn’t it?

Another pang of pee pain.

GIRL
Next exit, next exit.

But what my mother doesn’t understand is that this thing is my best shot at a revenue
stream. I have a strategy, all those viewers turn into dollars eventually! Influence. Influence
is a powerful thing, especially when you have no other resources. The process is slow but I
can build a following. And my little – uh. Delivery business. Might be lucrative too.

I can build! Is what I mean. I can. I’ve got Mary’s blood in my veins, and I may not be
good with the dirt but I can still play my deck and win, I know I can. Grow, build, achieve. I
know I can.

But I understand where she’s coming from! My mom.

I can’t pretend that I don’t understand it.
I’m not going to get in to her history, I’m not. It’s hers. But I will say that that my mother
fought, fought to put a roof over my head.
And then I tried to escape it.X SQ 14.8

The Van hits a BUMP, and she GASPS.

GIRL
OW okay, okay, okay. X SQ 15
 15

The Girl pulls the Van over, it makes a tire screeching

sound on the road.

Then, she hops out of the door and waddles towards the
sliding door on the side of the Van.X SQ15.1

Sound effects of CARS WHIRRING by on the road and

HONKING cover up the sound of her peeing.

She re-enters, shamefully holding the Folgers cannister.

She washes her hands at the sink.

GIRL
Disgusting.
Fucking hated that. Ew. EW.

I could’ve stopped.
Maybe I should’ve stopped. Maybe – fuck.
It’s just. The flags. Confederate, Proud Boys. A mudflap girl and a blood drop cross on the
back of every car, every pickup. For miles.

Maybe I’m just being a baby – I don’t fucking know. I – I mean I know I could pull over, I
could if I really had to but like.
I don’t want to walk into some truck stop alone. In the middle of nowhere.

No. Whatever, I made my choice.

“Choice”
A hostage situation at worst, coercion at best.

She holds up the cannister.

So Folgers wins today – making Miss Mary proud!

(she stops)
Do you think she would be proud of me?
Would she?X SQ 15.8
She thinks, really thinks, and finds no answer.

Shift:

SCENE FOUR: X SQ 16
 16

Girl stands, holding her shotgun, surrounded by fallen

Drones and packages. The cardboard boxes and
machinery litter the stage.

She doesn’t attend to them. She stays focused on us.

GIRL
I know I owe you some explanations.
I never told you what I realized, did I? I think I’m bad at manifestos.
Broken brain, remember? That goes in the broken brain column.

Like – have you ever learned something, had a total epiphany, and then realized you’d
learned it before? That’s what happened to me.

With the drones, I mean. What I figured out about the drones.

She puts the gun away, being careful with the safety.

GIRL
When I started living in the Van I noticed this pattern –
I would drive through a city, see some glitzy downtown, then a kinda rougher downtown,
then it peters out into the suburbs, then beyond that warehouses and factories.
And then?
The same thing again but in reverse – warehouses, suburbs, rough city, shiny city again. And
then again, and again, and again.

And the thing is, those zones are different worlds – dead separate, no contact, certainly no
ground travel. The only thing that goes between them –

She picks up a cardboard box.

GIRL
Packages.
The beauty of commerce, I guess. No people moving, only goods, only things. Warehouses
dispatching packages to suburbanites, fancy products from downtown going out to the rest
of the world.

Most packages still get shipped by ground. It’s ultimately still the most efficient system.
Drone deliveries are expensive, the only things in the air are either very important, or going
to someone with money who was very impatient.

She opens a big cardboard box on the ground in front of

her and finds an easy bake oven, a vintage relic.
 17

GIRL
Case in point.

And I figured it out, this whole big epiphany, like of COURSE, the dead zone in between,
the PERFECT place to have open access to the drones. And it was all so clear to me, in my
mind – I saw the map unfolding, each of those zones blending into the next.

It was a brain blast – I don’t have them often but WOW. I thought I was the only person in
the world who understood. So I went to ask.X SQ 17.2

Suddenly, the FORUM appears.

The Forum can bear some relationship to what the

camera looked like. It can be a light, it can be a
projection, it can be a station with a keyboard that she
sits in front of.

GIRL
I’m on a lot of forums. I love them.

They’re organized by obsession, really. There are groups for everything – groups for living in
vans that help you find the best rest stops and public parks, groups for curly hair with
product recommendations for the very best gel cast and lists of ingredients to avoid at all
costs. There are groups for trout fishing, and for first time trout fishers specifically – groups
on which travel backpacks can stand up the best to extreme weather conditions.

And the best part of all? They’re faceless.

The videos, the social media – that’s all about my face, about being public-facing, but here?
Nobody knows where I am, who I am, what I am.

They just know that I want the same thing they do. The very best.

They’re my people, I think. They’re the closest thing I have to people.

She approaches her FORUM.

GIRL
So when I make this discovery, I go to the message boards, and I ask

Do you know how these cities are shaped? Have you been listening to the land? Are you
watching this pattern too? Anybody? BEAT. X SQ 17.9

She waits. Then a DING.

 18

GIRL
It’s not long before somebody responds.
With snark.

A user with a cartoon as their icon replies to let me know that yes indeed they did know, and
they link me to 15 articles and studies about Phenomenology within Urban Spread. The
linkers are the worst, like – oh you had a simple question? Here’s a 300 page PDF, have fun.

But the thing is –

The thing is –

I already knew it.

The book he linked me to? I’d already read it.

My epiphany about the way cities are shaped – I knew it, I’d known it for years.
I took a class in college, just a survey in Urban Studies, and they taught us all about it, it’s a
real phenomenon – it’s called the concentric zones model.

She leaves the forum and goes back to her Van. As she
speaks, she draws the model on the side of her Van in
chalk.

GIRL
In every city, you have a city center, a downtown.

Almost no people actually live downtown because that’s where all the money lives – the bank
building lives there, and all the stores and the big corporate offices, hotels, convention
centers, city hall. A few executives, sure – but mostly just tall buildings.

Then, surrounding the city center, there’s this perimeter of very dense, very low-income
urban housing. In the class textbook they called it a slum ring.

People live there, TONS of people, too many people. And they’re the ones who take care of
the tall buildings, the people who make the city possible. The janitors and cleaners, the
nannies and maids, the city street pavers, the security guards. All packed in. They have to be
close enough to the city to be downtown at dawn, before the workforce gets in – they’re
pulling double shifts, working two, three jobs, they’re taking the bus back home after the
night shift to start again.

And then beyond that – the suburbs. Bliss. All the people who work in the tall buildings,
and drive in every morning on a highway overpass that keeps them far above the slum ring.
And all the suburbs sort of melt together in the middle, and that’s how the country works.
 19

And it happens everywhere – everywhere there is a city, there is some version of this
formation, because the way that American cities are designed to function requires a slum,
creates a slum.

Think about it – the rings. Manhattan, the Bronx, Westchester. Downtown LA, Vernon,
Santa Monica. Everywhere. And they’re proportionate too, the bigger the city, the bigger
the slum – every time.

I knew it.
And then I realized it all over again two days ago, with that shotgun in my hand like it was an
epiphany. Like it was my first day out of the cave.

I must’ve known before college too.

I grew up just outside of downtown. How could I forget that?

I want to get away from that – from all of that.

From downtown, from the ring.
I want to escape.X SQ 19.5

Shift to:

SCENE FIVE. X SQ 19.6

This is Miss Mary’s farm.

Some distinctive set piece alerts us to the fact, maybe a

tipping-over fence and some tall weeds, a rusty cowbell
in the grass. Quaint.

The Girl sits, cross-legged, on the ground. She speaks to

the audience.

GIRL
I made it. Miss Mary’s farm.

You ever go somewhere and just get the feeling that you’re on top of bones? Just know it?
I feel that here.

Nobody’s living on this plot now.

I met one very skittish neighbor about 20 miles away, he told me what he remembered –
some folks who lived here about 10 years ago, but they left. My skittish friend didn’t
remember the last name, they just knew it was a guy named “something like Jimmy” and a
“girl with short hair.” That must have been my cousin? The one who died.
 20

Her bones maybe. Someone’s.

This place is so much smaller than it was in my imagination. It’s hard to believe she kept a
town alive on this. It seems impossible. Maybe it is impossible.

The CAMERA comes into view, but she stays focused

on us.

GIRL
For the last twenty minutes, I’ve been meditating on a live stream to my fans. My numbers SQ 20.4
are up this week, I’m starting to get some attention. And they’re eating this up too, watch.

She turns to the camera, and speaks in her honeyed

voice.

GIRL
Thank you so much for joining me.
To wrap up, I thought it might be nice to do a few sun salutations.
Greet the day, on this special day, in this special spot.
I wanted to take a moment to invite you to do them along with me.
Wherever you are.
We can do three together, how’s that?

She stands and does three Sun Salutations,

BREATHING deeply as she does. It takes a long time.

She peeks to the audience again.

GIRL
I can’t pretend I don’t understand why they like this – my fans.
It’s nice to see someone so . . . Untethered. Not stuck to anything. Independent.
That transcendence.
There’s a thirst for spirituality, when everything feels so bleak.

Hell, I would’ve loved this video – before everything. Oh my god, if that girl could see me
now. Old me, looking at new me. Meditating in the fucking woods.
She’d be jealous a little, I think. A pang of envy for the freedom.
But at the same time, I think she would’ve thought I was a little unambitious.

Girl turns back to the CAMERA.

 21

GIRL
Thank you for sticking around.
Make sure to like, and I’ll see you next time!X SQ 21

She waves to the video camera, then approaches the

setup and turns the video off.

Once the CAMERA is gone, she takes a sigh and relaxes

a little.

She looks around.

GIRL
They don’t know Miss Mary’s name. That’s not for them to know. Just you.
I called this my ‘family farm’ – ambiguous enough that it could be a second home, you
know?
They have to think this is a choice.

She looks around again.

She walks around and takes the space in. It’s

disappointing. She counts it out in paces. It’s small.

She gets annoyed, then takes a deep breath.

She gets an idea – and she searches the ground, rooting

around for something. She finds a fallen acorn.X SQ21.4

She drops to her knees, and pushes her fingers into the
dirt to dig a hole. She puts the acorn in the hole, then
kicks dirt over it.

She goes into the van, fills a cup with water, then comes
back and waters the spot.

She looks at it and waits.

She realizes how stupid it is to wait, and she gets

frustrated again.

She sits on the ground. She tries to meditate for real,

transcend for real. Nothing. She tries another Sun
Salutation. It doesn’t feel right.
 22

She splays out in frustration, and lies down flat on the

ground.

She lays there for a moment.

When she’s on her back, she spots something in the sky

and GASPS.X SQ 22.3

She leaps up and darts back to her Van. She comes back
with her binoculars in-hand and looks to the sky.

She spots what she was looking for. She runs for her
shotgun, loads it as fast as she can, and aims

She firesX– BANG – she missed. SQ 22.4

She fires againX– BANG – an IMPACT. SQ 22.5

She got it. Her aim is improving.

The Drone and Box careen into a TREE nearby (the tree
can be represented with a ladder, a light, have your fun –
but she’s gotta be able to climb it.)

She takes stock of the climb – it’s a long one. She puts
the gun away.

She goes to the tree and takes the laborious and

considered climb up to the box. It’s slow, she’s being
careful – but it’s also heroic, she’s fighting for her prize.

She finally reaches the Drone and Box. She takes a clip
off her belt and hooks it onto the Drone machinery.
Then, she shimmy’s back down the tree with great effort.

She makes it back to solid ground.

She pulls out a switchblade and SLICES into the box

triumphantly. She reaches in –

She pulls out packs of hundreds and hundreds of plastic

aloha leis. The kind you would see at a tacky office luau
party. X SQ 22.9
 23

She sits with her prize.

Shift to:

SCENE SIX: x SQ 23

Night time in the Van. The world outside is dark.

With a toolkit and a flashlight, she’s tinkering over one

of the Drones she’s shot down.

On her bed, a pile of Drone Carcasses, and a pile of

Amazon boxes.

GIRL
I’m on the road again.
Told Mom sorry but I don’t think the farm life is for me. I tried to get some loot up there
and nothing passed overhead, the sky is just like the dirt – barren. There’s more
opportunity chasing Drones then sitting around while the dirt dries up, I’m on to better
things.

I’ve got a new system going now! Very exciting –

I realized, I can hack them. The trick is to hit the motor on one of the propellers, it
destabilizes the thing, then it falls off course and you can go pick it. Then you can power it
off, and it’s all yours. The machine is just a machine, you can do anything with it.

Like – this one!

She holds up a drone by one of the propellers, it looks

like an animal carcass somehow, some disgusting
cybernetic crab.

GIRL
I shot right through the motherboard on this one, stupid of me, but couldn’t be avoided. So
in terms of computing power, this one is basically trash. Without a chip, she’s not gonna fly
again. But! Still plenty to use. You see this?

She stands in her van and goes to the “kitchen.” She

points at a small fan.

GIRL
A little propeller fan, isn’t that cute. And this one had an infrared lens for night flying, I can
do something with that – still got the three other motors, the balance sensors. Sky’s the limit.
 24

And for this one – see this one I did good, got it right in the propeller.
And if the motherboard isn’t damaged, then you can reprogram it!
You can reprogram it however you want!

See, the way that machines learn is a lot like how people learn —
you give it a lot of data,
and you tell it what that data means,
and then you ask it to recognize patterns.

But once you get in the system, you can give the machine new data, you can wipe the old
data, you can give it new interpretive tools.

Long story short – I can send this puppy anywhere.X SQ 24.3

The FORUM fires up.

GIRL
After I figure this out, I turned to my people – my faceless people, and I tell them what I’ve
learned. Suddenly I’m running a little delivery business.

And it grows.

I’ve got a little network going, and it’s a complicated system. Most things I sell to the
highest bidder – the headphones and the easy bake oven, the candle making kit. There’s a
strangely spirited bidding war over the Aloha Lei’s.

Some things I just give away – a package of notebooks to a forum friend who says she’s a
teacher – she calls me a hero. I send a crate full of orange socks to a shelter. An antique
vase, I send to my parents house.

And some? Some I keep. Just for the hell of it.

She puts her arm out, proudly displaying two silk

scrunchies.

GIRL
This was my prize today.

People write to me to tell me they’ve started gunning down drones too, they thank me for
the idea. Ask to send me something. I’m flattered by the offer, but there’s no way. I don’t
have an address. Nowhere to send to.

And I’m so tired. I squint at tiny little circuit boards all night, I get headaches.
 25

The days just roll by, I almost lose track – I’m working all the time.
But money is coming in. I’ve got to build, I’ve got to do something –

Nothing but respect to Miss Mary, but that farm depressed me. I don’t want a patch of land,
I want an acre. I want an empire! And my faceless Kingdom is getting stronger.X SQ 25.2

The CAMERA appears again.

The Girl sits in front of it.

GIRL
My other kingdom is growing too.

My numbers are up every day, that’s audience engagement. That’s power. If you have no
resources the next best thing is influence, right? Everyone wants to know something about
me, people pour out with questions. Another livestream –

They ask me about safety and security as a single woman travelling alone –
I say pepper spray, and always saying “we” when people ask me questions, “we” to imply
that someone is traveling with me. That was a tip from the Forum, actually, a good one.

They ask me how I take showers –

I say I have a gym membership for showers, but sometimes I bathe in rivers and lakes. I
never do, actually – too afraid of leeches. Mostly I’ll just take a sponge bath, or lie in my
filth and call it a day.

They ask me my favorite water bottle brands –

I angle for a sponsorship from Hydroflask.

Then, another question pops up on the screen.

Someone asks me – how do you cope with the loneliness?X SQ25.8

She looks to the audience.

GIRL
Knocked me back.
Because what I realized, “oh, I’m lonely.” That’s what it is, I’m fucking lonely.
Like a fucking apple hitting me on the head, oh! I had my channel and my forums and I
thought that would stave it off, but it hasn’t. I was keeping busy, I was doing so well at
keeping busy. Is that how I cope?

But no. This is another thing that I already knew.

 26

Loneliness lives with me – it’s baked in.

That was true before I was out on the road, before the Van.
It was true before I lost my job – hell it was the reason I lost my job,
The reason I lost so much more, lost everything.

But I don’t – I don’t want to talk about that.

I don’t.X SQ 26.2

She wrestles her attention back to the camera.

GIRL
But I don’t say any of that.
Instead I smile, and I nod, and I tell them that when I’m feeling lonely, I just go to nature.
Some horseshit like that. Or, no! Worse.
I said that when I feel lonely, I think about all the people who watch my videos, and then I
don’t feel lonely anymore.

God I’m so tired.X SQ 26.5

Shift to:

SCENE SEVEN.

Girl sits in bed, she’s lethargic and overwhelmed.

GIRL
I’m in the suburbs now.

I’ve been losing track of days lately, and nothing resets your clock like staying in the suburbs.
The suburbs enforce time in an entirely different way. Nature knows light and dark, night
and day – but the suburbs speak in a different language. Business hours and schools out,
brunch rush, so many ways to structure time. I’m hoping one of them sticks.

I have an orange vest that I put in the passenger’s seat when I’m in civilization. Makes it
look like a maintenance van, keeps people from bothering me.

I didn’t really get out of bed today. At all.

I wish I felt victorious and brave about that but I’m kind of just worried about myself.
Worried about this. I almost called my mother, but I know she would worry too, so I don’t.

I don’t feel very free. Even though maybe this is the ultimate freedom. I mean, free to stay
in bed all day? That used to be my dream. It really used to be my dream.
 27

But now I just feel like dirt.

Is that why everyone who does the Van Life thing goes Vegan? Because it gives you
something to feel good about? To be righteous about? Maybe I should take up Yoga for
real or do minimalism or – or something.

(beat)

Never in her life did Miss Mary get to lie down all day.

Never in her life.

She didn’t get to opt out of anything, she didn’t get to opt out of SHIT – and what do I do
with my day?

God.

But like – that’s the point right? You work hard so your family can have security! Maybe
she’d be thrilled that I got to lie down all day, right? Maybe?

Maybe.

But really I think she’d just be ashamed.

I’m beginning to suspect that my brain might be broken.

I think too much, but also not enough – and nothing makes sense.
Did I say that already?
I think I keep learning things I already know.
Did I say that already?

She sighs.

She pulls out a bottle of Vodka out from under her

pillow. Cheap stuff. Her choice should remind you how
young she is.

GIRL
I’m drunk. Which is really fucking stupid, actually. Dangerous.

I live in a fucking vehicle, I can’t be drunk – what if I had to run, or drive! Anything that
impairs my ability to drive is like, actually legitimately compromising. It’s a lot of
responsibility. And it’s fucking annoying honestly. It comes with living in a van
 28

But I guess it makes sense, kinda! Like in the animal kingdom – okay? If bunnies could like,
do cocaine and be high, then guess which bunnies the fucking hawks would eat first? The
coked out high ones who weren’t paying attention! It’s common sense, impairing yourself is
stupid. Dangerous.

Pleasure is a really fucking bad survival strategy.

All day, in this bed, I’ve been trying to remember what used to make me happy.

Way back before everything happed – before the Van, before my job, before all of it. I’ve
been in my head, scrolling through these highlights of big moments, the best days, the most
cathartic days, the proudest days trying to piece it all together, to find some common
denominator. What made me happy?

And honestly?

I don’t think I was happy.

I think I was numb.X SQ 28.4

Just then – someone KNOCKS on the side of the Van.

The metal clangs and echoes.

The Girl BOLTS up straight in her seat.

Beat.

GIRL
Did you hear that?

It’s dead still.

She waits.X SQ 28.6

Then, the KNOCK comes again.

Girl springs into action.

She goes directly for her secret cabinet and takes out the
shotgun. She removes her ammo and starts to load the
gun quickly, mechanically.

The KNOCK again – X SQ 28.9

 29

It scares her, she stumbles and drops the shells.

ThenX– SQ 29

WOMAN’S VOICE
Hello? Is anyone in there?
(beat)
You’re blocking my driveway.

Beat.

After a moment, she releases her breath.

GIRL
Sorry!

She puts the shotgun down and bolts for the driver’s
seat. X
She drives, and pulls away from the city. SQ 29.5

Shift to:

SCENE EIGHT:X SQ 29.6

Girl is still driving, she seems haggard.

GIRL
I don’t know why I picked it up.
I would never, I would never shoot at a person, I mean –
It was just a reflex, I don’t know. I don’t know.
I really don’t know what that was. Who that was.

I would never shoot at a person –

Unless I absolutely had to. I mean, if I was in danger you know?
Sometimes living with a gun makes me wonder how I ever lived without one.
It indulges my paranoia, my hypotheticals, in the worst possible way. But there are benefits!
I mean, if there was a bear or something! If there was some yokel with a Nazi bumper sticker
at my door, then I’d be glad, right? If you’re defenseless . . . then, suddenly you’re not.

I meant what I said, I would – never, NEVER!

Just –
It takes a lot to live wild and free.

She arrives at her destination and gets out of the car. She
takes her shotgun and bag with her.
 30

GIRL
Before I know it I’m out in the woods again – past the ring, past the suburbs, just free from
all of it. It’s bright as day out, I thought it was the middle of the night but it’s morning.XAnd SQ 30
the sky is swarming.

She lifts the gun and aims –

GIRL
NUMB!X– SQ 30.1

BANG –

A delivery drone DROPS to the ground.

GIRL
NUMB!X– SQ 30.2

BANG –

Another DROPS to the ground.

She breaks the barrel and reloads, then clicks the barrel
back into place – the maneuver takes her only seconds
now. The muscle memory is baked into her.

She’s juiced – she takes aim –

She lets out another sound, trying to stoke herself into

feeling something –

GIRL
(screaming)X SQ 30.6

BANG – IMPACT –

The Drone falls, but this one is different.

The Drone itself is larger than all the others, with more
robust looking machinery. And it’s not holding on to a
logo-covered cardboard box, instead this one has a thick
white Styrofoam casing, covered in red lettering and
Hazmat stickers.
 31

It beeps and sputters, like the machine is half dead.

Beat.

GIRL
Something is wrong.
That’s – that’s not.
Something is wrong.

In a flash, she goes to her knees to get a closer view of

the labels on the box. She reads with horror. Then,
after a moment she stumbles away and retches.

GIRL
It’s an organ. –

The label says so loud and clear. –

A heart. Or a lung, maybe – a kidney. But it’s a human organ. –

I check the box again, no scratches. The bullet went straight through the propeller, good
aim, good aim. At least there’s that –

Who knows if it survived the fall, but at least I didn’t hit it. Where was it heading, fuck.
What can I do, fuck fuck fuck! –

I run to the computer – two tabs.

The first one is a search, I try the phrase “organ transplant timeline”? Confusing results.
Organ lifespan? Suggestions knows what I mean, miraculously – “how long can an organ
live outside the body”? Hours. The answer is in hours. Who knows how long it’s been
already.

The FORUM appears.

GIRL
The other tab is for my faceless forum – my kingdom, I’m begging – what do I do? I shot
something down that I shouldn’t have, I made a mistake. Me, your demigod, your emperor,
made a mistake and please god someone bail me out, Fuck fuck FUCK. What do I do?
Please.

I go back to the box, there’s a hospital name on here, and a label – it is a heart. A human
heart. That means it’s got, maximum, six hours, who knows how long it’s been, who knows
if it survived the fall – FUCK.
 32

I wonder for a second if I’m going to be arrested. Then, all of a sudden, that fear feels so
small. So petty and cowardly – arrested. What could matter less?

I run back to my computer, back to my forum kingdom – to see if anyone has answers.
How do I get this thing back where it belongs, what do I do?

Instead I see that someone with no face has asked me if I’d consider selling the heart instead.
He’s willing to pay a high price.

She starts to retch again, but pulls herself into the

driver’s seat instead. She sits with the box in her lap.

GIRL
I cant fix the propeller in time,Xthere’s no way – so this is the best I’ve got. SQ 32.4

I take the box and leave the machine behind. It’s cold, it’s so cold in my hands. It’s strange,
knowing this is someone’s life in my passenger’s seat. My very first passenger. Ice cold.

Speeding, speeding – the suspension can’t handle it, maybe I got off balance somehow.

Why didn’t I use my binoculars? Why didn’t I look? I always look before I shoot – that’s the
basics, that’s the first golden rule they give you in every instructional safety video, what is
wrong with me, I knew, I knew.

I know I’m broken now – I think I might be cursed too. I let the thrill of that heavy metal
get to me. I don’t even know what I wanted, when I pulled the trigger. An easy bake oven?
Another quick buck? Did I just want the thrill?

Speeding, ice cold. Who knows if it survived the fall, who knows how many hours until –

I’m driving so fast that the car is shaking, but I don’t care.

And I start to slip. I start to slip –

Into the place I’ve been running fromX– 32.8

Shift to:

SCENE NINE.

This place is somewhere else entirely, indicate it however

you want. We’re in a flashback now, out of time.
 33

I was working at this Tech/Consulting firm. Just, evil – just a fucking evil place to work. I
spent all day trying to figure out how to make a win, but I was playing on the wrong side.

Evil Evil Evil.X Voice Change???

But the starting salary is high. Higher than my family’s annual income has ever been. I’m
right of college, I have loans to pay off. So I do it, obviously.

Every day I get out of my evil bed, and I put on my evil suit, and I go in to evil work, and I
help evil people track data and sell evil things with incredible efficiency.

Through a year and a half of back-breaking work, I make my mark.

And today I’m giving a presentation to the Board of Directors.XBig Presentation, to these SQ 33.4
Big people. This is a career-maker kind of presentation, this is the kind where if I get the
right kind of Handshake after my last slide, I’m set for life.

And today my presentation is all about Optimization.

Optimization is one of the core philosophical tenants. In the world of Computer Science it
has a special meaning.

Optimization is the process of making a system operate the most effectively with the least
resources.

You can optimize a program for size, how do we do the most operations with the least hard
drive space. For speed – how do we get this complex result in a logarithmic order of
magnitude. You can optimize a program for anything.

But I’m familiar with this question of Optimization in a different way.

Because for generations, my family has had to ask to ask the question:

How do you optimize a life?

See, in tech you build this clunky algorithm as step one, and then you optimize it as step two.
But in life – we were already dealt the first half of the equation.

We were handed the Least resources. And had to make the most with them.

And I thought I knew how. See, I learned from Miss Mary, how to optimize a life. You
drain every resource, that’s how. You make the most of every opportunity.
 34

If all you have is dirt, then you find a seed, you grow it into a tree, you cut down that tree,
you use the wood to build a door, and then you open that door. Simple.

So my parents and I set to the task of optimizing me.X 34.2

My first memories are watching educational programming on PBS.

In afterschool care, I do always my homework before I go play, it’s the rule.
I get the gold star on the Behavior Chart, because so I’m quiet and respectful.
The night before I take my first State Standardized test I get so nervous that I shake and cry,
and I bite my cuticles until they bleed.
I streak blood on the scantron, but I ace the test.
I join Girl Scouts and start collecting badges, religiously.
I run for Class President.
I make friends with other girls who aced the test.
I learn to play the piano, then the oboe, then the flute. This is my ‘enrichment.’
I enter the optional science fair.
I run for Class President again, I lose.
I get into the AP classes.
Which train me for the SAT’s
Which qualifies me for the Fancy Private University
(where I beg for scholarship money)
Which qualifies me for my Fancy Evil Job
(where I beg for recognition)

Which gets me here.

To my presentation.

On how to Optimize this Company.

On how I have Optimized myself for this Company.

On how I deserve to be added to this Company’s central machinery.

I get started.

Click – new slide.

Brilliant point. Brilliant point. Chart.
Click – new slide.
Synergy, Efficiency, Jargon Jargon Jargon, Client-Facing.
Click – new slide.
Everyone is leaning in.

And then –
 35

All of a sudden I could feel the arches of my feet.XAnd I looked down, and I saw my SQ 35
mother’s face staring up at me. And I was standing on her. I had one foot on her shoulder,
and the other foot on – Miss Mary’s shoulder. I’ve never seen her face before, but that’s
her, isn’t it? It must be. And she’s looking at me.

And the whole Board of advisors is still watching me,

Click – new slide.

And I’m still giving my presentation only now I’m mostly just trying to keep my balance
because I’m not standing on the Maple hardwood of the 37th floor like they are – I’m
standing on my Mother and my Great-Grandmother Mary.

Click – new slide.

Then I looked down, and both of them were standing on someone’s shoulders too. And she
was standing on someone too. And her someone was standing on someone– and it kept
going on that way down and down through all 37 floors. Down and down through the
earth, into the magma.

And I’m balancing on top of it all, just trying to hold my breath.

Click – new slide.

And my mother is smiling at me. They’re all smiling, but I can’t smile back, I’m in the
middle of a presentation.

And they were begging me.

Begging me to just get that one step higher. Whatever it takes, to just get that ONE step
higher. To press my sensible office heels into her forehead for leverage so that I could get
that extra little leg up. To step onto their faces, their necks, to break their spines if that’s
what it would take – to reach that next level, to get a hold of that golden ladder, to close the
historical fucking impasse once and for all.

Click – new slide.

So I’m talking to the board, and at the Shareholders. And I’m digging my sensible office
heels into my mother’s throat, and I’m about to put my stiletto heel on to Miss Mary’s face
for an inch of extra height.

And then I stop myself.

 36

All their lives, these women worked themselves to death’s door for the sake of some asshole.
Some sharecropper, some Big Man in who clicked his heels and dipped his fingers into the
profits that they worked themselves to the bone for.

And here I am, clicking through my slides, vying for my shot to become some asshole.
Trying to prove to the Board that I’m more than qualified to be Some Big Man. To dip my
fingers into some Other Mother’s pockets.

The way the booming metropolis necessitates a slum –

The way this boardroom of executives necessitates an exploited underclass –
The way that my programming necessitates that I put my stiletto through Miss Mary’s eye–

Is that right? That can’t be right. I’m standing on my mother’s face, I’m trampling them,
I’m trampling them all – that can’t be right?

But I’ve been optimized.

And this ancestral pillar shifts under me, and we’re careening – like bodies rolling over in
their graves en masse until it’s an earthquake. Like someone down at the bottom just
couldn’t bear the weight of it all anymore.

I thought – what if I jump?

Jump off their shoulders, into nothingness. Would it set them free? Would it set me free? I
just wanted OFF I wanted to give them a break, I don’t want to win anymore, I don’t care! –

And then –

I’m politely excused from the boardroom, because it turns out I’ve been sobbing through my
presentation and now my talents will no longer be required at the company, but thank you
very much for all your hard work.X SQ 36.8

Shift to:

SCENE TEN.

The lights resolve into something bright and clinical. The

buzz of a hospital ward.

GIRL
When I come to, I’m in the hospital. In the waiting room.
My phone is dead and cracked but I’m holding it in the palm of my hand for some reason.
Tapping the screen. I’m wearing a mask.
 37

The second nervous breakdown is nothing like the first. I lost so much more time. It’s been
hours, I think.

A nice nurse comes out and tells me that the patient survived.
Survived.
Survived sounds so different than “lived.”
Survived sounds so different than “gonna be okay.”
But I don’t ask questions.

They called me a cab, I have to find a mechanic.

I broke the van. I drove it too hard, the cambelt broke and it wrecked the engine.
It died right when I pulled up to the hospital.
I killed my Van.

The nice nurse calls me a hero.

He thanks me, for bringing the box in.

I told them the drone crashed, I didn’t – I didn’t tell the truth.

Beat.

She looks to the audience.

GIRL
I didn’t tell you the truth either. Not really.

I’m sorry.
You shouldn’t listen to me –
This Manifesto, this whole thing was a bad idea.

It’s just –
I’m beginning to suspect that my heart might be broken.
I want too much, but also not enough – and nothing feels right. Everything I touch gets
destroyed.

I think I’m on the fritz.

I’ve been optimized, but I don’t want to function in this system.
I don’t want to win anymore.

I just want –
I just want X
– SQ37.9

She lies down on the ground. Time passes.

 38

Shift to:

SCENE ELEVEN.X SQ 38

While she’s still on the ground, CAMERA mode comes

on.

GIRL
I checked my streaming account today, I have hundreds of messages, comments.

People are starting to worry about me.

I haven’t posted in – three weeks. It’s been three weeks? I don’t know how.
Somebody got a picture of the Van on a tow truck. Dead.
People are worried about me, worried that I’ve been killed, worried someone found my
videos and stalked me and hunted me down, worried about a car wreck, worried I ran out of
gas and then starved.

They’re all so full of concern. People talk about starting campaigns to find me, retracing my
steps, the want to circulate my photo. All this worry.

I used to worry about these things too.

Worry about myself, my body, my Van – I don’t feel that worry now, I just feel numb.
I draft a response to tell them all that I’m fine – I’m fine! Am I fine? My clothes are clean,
there’s gas in the tank. I don’t know what city I’m in, what state I’m in even – all I know is
that think I smell the ocean.

I don’t send out my response.

I don’t think I have it in me to lie anymore.X SQ 38.5

The FORUMS appear.

GIRL
On the faceless side of my internet, nobody is worried about me.
Nobody has even registered my absence. I’m much more comfortable with that.

I find the account that asked to buy the heart from me. I report it, then I delete my accounts.
I don’t want that anymore. No part of that.

The FORUMs disappear.

GIRL
I go to the rest of my stash and I give it away, all of it.
No negotiating this time, no bartering for price.
 39

God, I can’t believe I did that. Bartered.

I can’t believe I wanted to be a businesswoman when I could’ve been a bandit.

Everything is free now in my kingdom. I’ll drop off boxes at church steps, random houses, I
learn the coordinates of the red cross.

I still I keep the gun.

I still point it at the sky.
But I always look first – always.
I keep my eyes open.X SQ 39.2

Shift to:

SCENE TWELVE.

She sits in front of the CAMERA.

GIRL
I wanted to tell you all that I’m okay. But I’m not.
I’m just not. I’m not calm, or comfortable, I’m not at peace –
And I don’t know if everybody else is – or if nobody else is.

I’m tired of feeling like even my suffering has to be productive.

Has to be character building, some step to enlightenment.
What if it’s just suffering?

I don’t want to die in a slum. The suburbs make me sick.

I just feel so deeply that something is wrong. I’m sure of it.

I don’t know what to do but I feel so urgently that something must be done
and I’m at a loss

She stops cold –

She realizes something –

Then she reaches forward and turns the camera off.

She turns to the audience, and smiles.

GIRL
I just remembered something.X SQ 39.9
 40

Shift to:

SCENE THIRTEEN:

Back on Miss Mary’s farm.

The set pieces that remind us of this location return –

the rusted cowbell, the fallen fence, whatever it was.

Some time has passed since we’ve been here last. The
weeds are a few inches taller now.

Girl stumbles on, searching.

She finds one of the Aloha Lei’s tied to a fence-post, an

old sign she left to mark the spot. By now it’s weathered
and bleached by the sun.

When she sees it, she knows she’s close.

She drops to her knees and looks through the brush

carefully, searching with desperate urgency –

And she finds it.

In the spot where she buried the acorn – a small shoot

bursts out from the ground.

It’s only six inches tall, but one thing is very clear –

It’s growing.X SQ40.9

BLACKOUT.

END OF PLAY.