Black Belts Don't Quit...Or Do They?

Dan was a second-degree black belt and had been training with me for over seven
years. He was an all-star kind of guy. He was extremely successful in business. He
had a great attitude. He was athletic and intelligent. He was the kind of guy that you
love having in the front of your class because you know he's going to raise
everybody's energy. Dan was as consistent as the day is long. He never missed a
class. One day he pulled me aside to tell me that his attendance was going to be a
bit sporadic over the course of the next month or so due to the opening of a new
branch office a city away. I thanked him for the letting me know and told him what I
tell everyone else who has to deal with a busy schedule: “Don’t stress over it and just
get in when you can and we will make sure to work with you if and when you need
the help.”

The next time I saw Dan in class was a couple of weeks later. We started an advance
Kata just after he left so, for the first time ever, Dan was behind the curve. He was
doing his best to follow along, but I could tell that he was frustrated. I almost pulled
him aside to work with another advanced student but decided against it. This is Dan
we’re talking about. He doesn’t need any extra help. He continued to be sporadic in
attendance over the next few weeks and I could sense his frustration growing. Once
again, instead of offering him one-on-one help like I would most people, I just let him
struggle. Although Dan was not an arrogant guy, part of me felt like this experience
was a good way to keep him humble.

I didn't see Dan for a few more weeks and when I did, it was at the end of class and
he was in his street clothes. I thought to myself, “That's funny, Dan must be injured or
something.” He asked to speak with me privately so we went into my office. He said
he wanted me to know how much he appreciated the training he received at our
school these past 7 1/2 years and then followed that statement by letting me know
that he was quitting. I was sincerely shell-shocked. I would never have guessed that
Dan would quit. When I called him on it, he simply responded by saying that he was
going to continue to be working extra and didn't want to be a mediocre student. He
said he didn't like the feeling of not knowing what was going on and needing extra
help and it had taken the joy out of his training. I assured him that I would work with
him extra after class or on weekends, whatever it took to keep him training, but it was
too late. He'd made up his mind. And so we said our goodbyes. That was the last
time I heard from Dan.

I can't help believing that if I had taken the time to work with Dan just a little bit extra
instead of letting him flounder, he would still be training with us to this day. Having
Dan quit was a great lesson for me. It reminded me that even black belts quit and
that I should never take any of my students for granted. If I see a student
struggling, regardless of rank, it's my job to help him get back on track, and it's
yours as well.

Remember, the next time you see advanced students who need a bit of help, think of
Dan and then do what you can to keep them in the game.