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Contents Introduction
How Texting Has Changed the Way We Date
Women’s Texts vs. Men’s Texts:
Contrasting Communication

PART 1
The Rules for Texting
Texting Mistakes
Essays and Over-Texting
Passive-Aggressive and Angry Texts
Predictable and Boring Texting
Ambiguous or Confusing Texts
Jealous and Inappropriate Texts

The Perfect Text Recipe:

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice
R - Review and Revise
U - Use Visual Language
L - Leave Him Wanting More
E - Excite Him
S - Stay Positive

How Long Should You Wait

Before Texting Him?
Sending the Initial Text
When he texts you first

Emojis: Yay or Nay?

Use emojis sparingly
Keep your emojis close
Choose your emojis carefully

iv
Contents PART 2
What to Text Men to Attract
and Win Them Over
1. The Early Days:
“Ready for Takeoff” Texts
“Fueling His Engine” Texts
“Preparing for Blastoff” Texts
Comical Texts
Crystal Ball Texts
Satellite Texts
“Stir the Pot” Texts

2. The Dating Days:

“Shooting for the Stars” Texts
“Game On” Texts
Supernova Texts
Shining Star Texts
Tantalizing Texts
Constellation Texts
Mercy Texts

3. The Long Run:

“Keeping the Chemistry Ablaze” Texts
Flight Texts
Radical Recognition Texts
E-Glow Texts
Big Bang Texts
Seduction Texts
Across the Universe Texts

v
Contents PART 3
What to Text Him When . . .
A Look at Various Situations and Scenarios
When You Want to Invite Him Out
Without Sounding Clingy
When He Cancels Plans on You
When You Have to Cancel on Him
When He Gives You Nothing to Work With
When You Want Him to Initiate Texting
When He Asks Inappropriate
Questions or for Nude Photos
If He Sends You Unsolicited Nude Photos
When He Seems Interested in Another Woman
When You Feel Like You’re Being Friend-Zoned
When He Takes a While to Respond
When You See He’s Typing but It Suddenly Stops
When He “Ghosts” You
When You Want to Flirt in Text
When You Think He’s Upset with You
When You Think He’s Misinterpreting Your Texts
When He’s Had a Rough Day
When You Want Him to Comfort You
When He Sends You Drunk Texts

In Closing

vi
 Introduction
 F rozen in her seat, Amanda perched, eyes glued to her
phone. Poring over the text she’d just sent, she pauses
on each word.

Do u want to go for a drink this weekend?

Two minutes have passed and she still hasn’t heard back from
James, but in her mind it’s been an eternity. Did he not want
to make plans with her? Has her message scared him away?

As more time goes by she starts questioning every little

detail. Should I have written ‘you’ instead of ‘u’? Should I have
put a smiley face at the end? Does asking to meet for drinks
rather than coffee imply that I’m looking to hook up? Battling
with her thoughts, the emotional turmoil of waiting for his
response rages like a whirlpool in her stomach.

1
 Then it appears.

Sure 🙂
Breathing a massive sigh of relief, Amanda can’t help but laugh
at how foolish she feels for doubting her text message. Why
did I overthink it so much? she wonders to herself. After all, it’s
not like we haven’t been playfully flirting for weeks now.

Smiling now, she slowly stands from the chilly park bench to
start the short walk home. But as she strides along, her light
step grows heavier again as the next wave of worry bursts
like a grenade.

Should I suggest a time and place to meet for drinks, or

should I hold off until he mentions it? How long should I wait
before responding to his message? Is he only agreeing to go out
with me because he feels like he has to?

And thus, the texting game has begun.

Clic to play this video

in your browser welcome
video

2
How Texting Has Changed
the Way We Date

 W hether you love it or loathe it, there’s no denying that

texting has radically changed the way we date. On par
with the birth of the automobile in terms of its impact
on romance culture, an estimated 8.5 trillion messages will be
sent in 2017 as more than 4.2 billion people text worldwide.
As the most popular form of communication for teens, young
adults, and Gen-X-ers in today’s modern world, it’s no wonder
texting plays such a big role in our dating lives.

Think back to fifteen years ago when text messaging wasn’t

all the rage. In those days (before Twitter and smart phones
that told us the news) people didn’t wake up and check their
phones right away. When it came to instant communication,
men and women had two main, culturally popular options:
face-to-face conversation or speaking over the phone. Both
of those methods involved keeping a verbal conversation
going, with little room for premeditated thought.

3
Yet, when text messaging made its way onto the scene, it
put a spin on the way we date by giving us a few things we
didn’t already have, the most impactful of those being time.
Time to think about what we might say to the guy we were
into, and to properly craft the perfect messages to him;
time to reflect on what he sent in return; and time to stir up
anticipation in him, to make him want you.

Since verbal conversation requires a steady, on-going

exchange of words between at least two people, it can be tricky
to keep things lively for any length of time—especially where
feelings and attraction are concerned. With text messaging,
that issue was no longer relevant; it quickly became normal
for a conversation to span hours or even days over texts.

All this, and texting awarded us the physical distance to

be daring in our responses—a screen to hide behind that
makes for a casual, non-threatening way to communicate
with a potential lover with lots of potential for flirting. We
all know how terrifying it can be to speak your mind and
share your feelings with someone you’re romantically into,
especially if you’re not sure whether or not the feeling is
mutual. Not to mention how mortifying it feels to be rejected
face to face. To a great extent, texting removed this fear—or
at least lessened the discomfort of saying sweet nothings to
someone and tripping over your words, or straight up being
rejected. This is especially true when it comes to flirting.

Picture this:

You’re in a work meeting. Sitting across from you is the guy

you’ve been crushing on hard lately. While you’re trying to
fight the temptation to stare, you can’t help but feel your eyes
drift in his direction. When they land on the object of your
interest, you notice, by now lost in trance the way his brown
hair waves just inches above his bright blue eyes, and how his
shirt hugs his shoulders in just the right spots. The way his

4
 toothy grin lights up the entire room, and how he wears his
zest for life like a badge of honor . . . He is, in every sense of the
word, perfect. And the smile slyly growing on your distracted
face confirms that you’re feeling smitten with this man.

The two of you have been exchanging playful banter lately,

but nothing serious has developed yet. You want more than
anything to tell him how breathtakingly handsome you think
he is, but you’re worried that you’ll get tongue-tied, sound
insincere or silly, or that your words will come across cheesy.

Luckily for you, your pocket-sized device has your back. It

makes it easy to relay these messages in a cool, confident way.
Best of all, when done properly, these written messages can
create intimacy and enhance your blossoming relationship.

Like most things though, there are two sides to every coin,
which means that texting does have its share of drawbacks,
too. For instance, where dating used to require a fair amount of
genuine effort and courtship, much of this has been replaced
with a process that’s much more quick and casual.

Also, since texting has become the norm, there is a good

chance that you’re not the only woman the guy you’re into
is messaging. If this is the case then he might not consider
the fact that he’s texting with you a big deal (whereas if he
were picking up the phone and calling you, or tracking you
down to chat in person, the feelings implied would be far
more specific and dedicated to you). Of course, this is just the
reality of the way society has changed with the times, and how
the frequency of dating, having also increased dramatically
in the wake of technology, has become less formal and more
non‑committal.

All this means that texting has not only affected dating; it has
also changed our expectations regarding communication
in relationships. Since it’s so easy to blast off a message to

5
the person you’re seeing, it has for most people become an
expected element of their daily partnership. Let’s say you
and the man you’re seeing have a habit of texting throughout
the day. If one afternoon you don’t hear from him for several
hours longer than you’re used to, then you may start to
wonder if something is wrong, or wonder what he’s doing, or
who he’s with. Has something bad happened, or is he hiding
something? This need for constant connection can be lethal
to a relationship, which is why it’s crucial that you know when
and how to text your man, whether he’s a long-term partner
or a new date. You’ve come to the right place: I’ll be covering
the subject in depth throughout this program.

Sure, we may connect with others more over text than

we would without it, but when it comes to relationships,
remember this: in the days of carrier pigeons, lovers were
satisfied receiving word from one another every few months,
and survived just fine. You really don’t need to be texting him
every few hours . . .

The last texting obstacle I want to mention before moving on

to the meat and potatoes of this program is perhaps the most
important one: interpreting tone.

When couples—brand new or long-term—get into the habit of

having all of their conversations via text, problems are bound
to arise for two major reasons. First, because it’s practically
impossible, not to mention time consuming, to clearly
communicate complex feelings and issues through text
messages. Second, because texts are just words on a screen,
left to be interpreted by the person on the receiving end who
comes to the reading with any number of biases, insecurities,
or expectations. In other words, they lack a sense of your
tone. In fact, I’d actually go so far as saying that texting is less
about the words you see and more about the feelings you get
when you’re reading them.

6
Before hitting send on any text message, it’s important
that you ask yourself whether or not what you are trying
to communicate is coming across clearly, and if there’s any
way that what you’re sending could be taken out of context.
Keeping your messages short and following up with a call
should they grow longer or more complex is a helpful trick
for this. The less you write, the less chance there is that he
will misinterpret what you are saying. Also, avoid using words
like “sure,” “fine,” “whatever,” or even “I don’t know.” These may
sound innocent to you, but if read in the wrong tone they can
seem dismissive and be detrimental to your relationship. The
key here is to send texts that are straightforward and clear,
and to not use the medium when feelings are high or your
relationship is at stake. More on this soon!

When it comes to dating, texting can be an amazing means

for building a bond with a new or potential suitor. When done
correctly, it can even ignite a spark that turns into a passionate
partnership. In a relationship, it can be a great way to be
playful, flirty, or loving when you’re separated during the day
or the workweek. In order to ensure you’re successful, though,
you’re going to need to understand how men communicate—
and specifically, how they text.

7
 Women’s Texts vs. Men’s Texts:
Contrasting Communication

case study:
Women’s Speak
Clic to play this video
in your browser

W hen it comes to communication, men and women

are like yin and yang: opposites in almost every
aspect of it.

8
Consider this:

It’s 8:50 am on a Wednesday as Dave pulls into the office

parking lot. Stepping out of his blue two-door Subaru he
reaches for his briefcase and breathes in the brisk autumn
air. It’s been six years since he started working as a software
developer for Techtonia, and his routine had become pretty
concrete: arrive in time to put on a pot of coffee check his
emails, and read the daily memo, all before buckling down to
start plugging away at exactly 9:00 am.

On this particular day, though, things are different. As Dave

strolls into the big glass building, he’s greeted not only by his
boss, but the CEO of the company, too. Inviting him into the
boardroom, they reveal to him plans to open a second location
on the West Coast, and propose to transfer him to this new
California base. Astounded that they would offer him such an
opportunity, he’s advised to take the rest of the week to think
about the offer before making any final decisions.

In the days that follow, Dave becomes reclusive. Alone with his
thoughts, he sorts through the pros and cons of relocating to
the new office. A new city, a fresh start, and a raise all sound
great, but what about all the things he would have to give
up, like his family, friends, and his newfound relationship?
Keeping to himself, he focuses on coming up with the most
logical decision.

At the other end of town, Ashley is racing to work. A graphic

designer for a local fashion magazine, her lifestyle is just as
jumbled as the current mock ups for the latest issue. After
countless late nights of vodka–sodas and dancing to retro hits,
she’s become the queen of getting by on a few hours of sleep
and double espressos.

As she stumbles somewhat gracefully into the cramped

studio space that houses the publication, her phone rings.

9
 Answering, she’s presented with a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity: a position with an up-and-coming art
publication in New York City. Squealing with excitement, the
voice on the other end of the line tells her to think though the
proposition and to get back to her by the following Monday.

Unable to keep her up with her thoughts, Ashley is telling

everyone who will listen about the job offer. Unfazed by the
contradictions she’s making, she babbles about the feeling
of freedom in leaving her hometown for the Big Apple, the
unrealistic affordability of the situation, the fear of missing
out on the opportunity, and the uneasiness of knowing no one
on that side of the country. Just talking about these things,
with her colleagues, and after work, her friends, helps her to
come to a decision.

Of course, this isn’t a one-size-fits-all scenario; there are

men and women in the world who react differently than
Dave or Ashley, but generally speaking, when it comes to
communication styles, these are the typical and so different
reactions of each gender.

Keep these typical behaviors in mind:

ǽǽ Men speak in literal terms and take time to sort through

their emotions before sharing them. Women express their
thoughts and emotions aloud to discover how they feel.

ǽǽ Men believe that communication should have a clear

purpose and think in terms of problem-and-solution when
it comes to conversation. Women look at communication as
an opportunity to build bonds and increase intimacy. Often
when they express a problem, they are seeking empathy
rather than an immediate practical solution.

ǽǽ When a man is unsure about a situation, he’s likely to pull

away from it and do some soul searching to determine how

10
 he feels before acting on it. In the same situation, a woman
is more likely to vocalize her feelings towards the situation
in the moment with the view to determining how she really
feels about it.

ǽǽ When men are troubled, they don’t want their woman to

express concern or sympathy, but instead to encourage
and support them by stroking their ego. They would rather
be left to sort out their issues on their own. When women
are troubled, they want their partner to express concern
and sympathy, and seek assistance from their partner and
circle of friends rather than be left to deal with the issues
on their own.

ǽǽ When a man secludes himself to think through his thoughts,

his female partner will commonly seek his reassurance that
he’s still interested in her. When a woman openly shares her
feelings of uncertainty, a man might start to feel insecure
about his place in her life. This is complicated because both
sexes are striving towards the same resolution, they just
have different ways of doing so.

It’s these different methods of communicating between

men and women that so often cause one partner in a hetero
relationship to worry about or question their partner’s feelings.

With these differences in mind, it’s no surprise that men and

women also text differently. But how are these differences
reflected in text messages, and why is knowing about
them important?

Simply put, if you’re looking to win a man over with your

words then you need to understand how and why he texts—
if you don’t, chances are you’ll misconstrue his messages,
which can quickly lead to messy or upsetting situations. In
fact, simply knowing the types of responses you can expect

11
to get from the guy you’re into can make a world of difference
when it comes to deciphering the meaning of his messages.

For example, if a man replies with a short “okay” it probably

means he’s agreeing with you. I know, I know—when a woman
sends that same message there’s a good chance it’s laced with
pent-up, more negative feelings (while this may not always
be the case, most of us can relate, right? There’s been at
least a few times when you’ve been guilty of this).

Why is it though that a man and woman can send the exact
same message, yet it has a completely different meaning?
The answer comes down to the reasons behind why men and
women text.

For starters, when a man texts it’s usually to make plans or

to relay important information. Their messages tend to be
short and to the point, and are often quite dry. Of course, this
changes depending on who they are texting and the type of
message they’re replying to, but for the most part, guys use
texting as a tool for communicating pressing information.

Adversely, women will happily text about everything from what

they ate for lunch to what their crush is wearing. They use
expressive language and acronyms like “OMG” and “LMAO” far
more often than men do, and like to put their own personality
into their texts. (How many times have you read a message
from a girlfriend where you can practically hear her speaking
those texted words aloud? How often do you send a pointless
message to someone solely for the sake of opening up the
lines of communication, or to have a quick chat?) Exactly.

There’s simply no denying that we love to dress up our

texts with all the bells and whistles . . . or rather, emojis and
punctuation marks. In fact, studies have shown that women
are almost four times more likely to use emoticons than men,
and almost twice as likely to use ellipses in their text messages.

12
While these small details seem pretty insignificant, they’re
actually loaded with additional (often emotional) information,
and so have a massive impact when it comes to expressing
ourselves through non-verbal communication.

Let’s look at an example.

Two men texting each other will probably look something

like this:

Hey man, how’s it going?

Good, just taking it easy.

Want to watch the game tonight?

Sure, I’ll see you at 8.

Straightforward and to the point.

When women text each other, it often looks more like this:

Hey lady love, how is your day going?! 🤗

Heyyyyy!! It’s okayyyyy. I slept in this
morning and was nearly late for work
but managed to get there right on time,
phewf! I forgot my wallet though, so
now I’m stuck snacking on the granola
bars I have stashed in my desk for lunch,
lol. They’re pretty tasty, but now I stink
like peanut butter. I’ll just have to avoid
getting too close to Chris 😄 How are
you? xoxo

Look familiar?

This isn’t to say that there’s anything wrong with sending your
lady friends a flood of details, but when it comes to texting
men, especially the one you’re looking to win over, you’re
going to want to send him a different type of text message.

So begins the first part of Text Chemistry: The Rules for Texting.

13
 Part 1
The Rules
for Texting
14
Texting Mistakes

 H ow many times did your mother tell you not to touch

the stove because it was hot, but you just had to see
for yourself? Probably at least once. Well, consider me
your mother in this situation, and take from me the texting
mistakes that you don’t want to test out for yourself.

Some of these mistakes are obvious ones, while others slip

through the cracks and go unnoticed. Still, there’s a reason
why these texting mistakes make this list, so take note.

Essays and Over-Texting

hen you’re feeling smitten, it can be tough to keep your
 W thoughts and feelings to yourself. Unfortunately, this is

15
something you’re going to need to master when it comes to
texting the guy who’s got you lovesick.

Sending the dude you’re into a plethora of questions or

rambling rants about whatever is on your mind is not only
going to overwhelm him, but it’ll also make him less inclined
to answer all of your questions, if he chooses to respond at all.

Hey, how is your day going? Did you

remember to call your mom? I spent the
morning in a really long, boring meeting.
I’m so glad it’s finally over! What are you
doing later? Have you heard about the
new sushi joint on Government Street?

Guys don’t like being bombarded with questions or feeling

interrogated through text messages. Nor do they want to
spend their free time typing on their phones. Sure, this may
be how you and your bestie communicate, but with him, it’s
better to take it slow and refrain from sending a paragraph
of text. Messaging him too much too soon, or coming across
as needy, isn’t going to be a good look. Instead, make sure
there’s a purpose behind any text you’re sending him.

Passive-Aggressive and Angry Texts

If you want.

It’s fine.

hese are three prime examples of passive-aggressive text

 T messages that get sent far too often.

Since there’s no denying that these texts are laced with

negativity, blasting off such bitter texts won’t help you win

16
over any man. Sure, you might be irritated by something he
has said or done, but by reacting hostilely you’ll not only make
him feel uncomfortable, but also confused.

Instead of hiding your frustrations or disguising them with

snarky remarks, be upfront about them . . . just not through
texts. To really get the message across, take a break from
the texting so he has time to consider whether you’re feeling
displeased, and why that might be. This will also allow you
to take some time to cool down before discussing the issue
face to face. Because no matter how justified you feel your
reasoning for passive-aggressive texts is, there’s still a solid
chance that your guy won’t be able to decipher what it is
you’re really saying, and if he does, you still risk coming across
as petty and immature. No man likes to be belittled, criticized,
or yelled at, especially by the woman he’s interested in. Just as
you shouldn’t take it from him, don’t dole it out, especially via
text—that stuff sticks around after a fight, and can be used as
evidence of your crazy long after the fact. This means that no
matter how angry you may be with your guy, you should never
text him nasty or offensive messages.

Predictable and Boring Texting

ne of the biggest relationship killers is complacency,
O especially if it sneaks into the picture early on
in a relationship. If you get into a texting habit where you
send the same lazy texts, or text so much that they replace
real communication and connection, you could be sending
your relationship spiraling into ruin before it’s truly begun.

To avoid making this mistake, it’s important that you put in

an extra bit of effort so that your text messages don’t become
repetitive or predictable. Why? Because if the guy you’re
texting knows what your message is going to say before

17
he even opens it then he’s not going to be excited to hear
from you.

Some popular examples of predictable texts include “Hey,”

“right on,” “sounds good,” “LOL,” and “HAHA”. That’s not to say
you can never use these texts, but you should watch what you
write and avoid just mindlessly messaging him. If he gets the
impression that you’re messaging out of boredom then he’s
not going to want to keep a conversation running.

Ambiguous or Confusing Texts

Do you want to order pizza tonight, or go
out for dinner?

Sure

hhh . . . okay? When texting a guy you’re into it’s important

 U that you send him messages that make sense. If he has to
guess what you’re trying to communicate or feels like you’re
messaging him is half-assed then he may get the impression
that you’re not that into him.

Just like you’d be annoyed or disappointed if his texts made

no sense, he also doesn’t want to be on the receiving end of
nonsensical messages. More on this later.

Jealous and Inappropriate Texts

t can be tough to silence the green-eyed monster when it
I comes calling, but if you start sending the guy you’re into
messages laced with jealousy or that show how insecure you
are, then he’s probably going to make a run for it, and who can
blame him.

18
 The same goes for texting inappropriate questions, such
as those about previous relationships, present finances,
religious beliefs, and so on. Sure, dishing personal details
will come with time, but they’re not things to share outside
of face-to-face interaction. Texting him questions that touch
on sensitive topics is simply not a smart move. And it’s kinda
weird. Again, keep your messages positive and light. The key
is to make him want to hear from you, not to cringe in anxiety
when it comes time to respond.

how to
men’s Speak
Clic to play this video
in your browser properly
use jealousy
So what does the perfect text message entail?

19
The Perfect Text Recipe:
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

 B efore I jump into the nitty-gritty of this program and

give you the three magical texts (as well as handfuls of
phrases and one-liners) you’ll need to win a man over
through text, it’s extremely important to understand why
texting is such an amazing tool for doing so. After all, if you
don’t know the foundations then you’re not going to be able
to nail the results.

Starting from the top, the most important tip to keep in

mind is to take time to really think about what you want to
say. One of the biggest mistakes women make when it comes
to texting guys is that they let their excitement fog their
judgement, and instead of considering what kind of message
will be most effective for winning him over, they blast off the
same kind of message that they would send to a girlfriend.
Oftentimes these messages are overloaded with exclamation
marks, LOL's, and emoticons.

20
While these work for chatting with your lady friends, if you
send the man you’re into a message like this you’re risking
the possibility that your enthusiasm will scare him away; after
all, that puts a lot of pressure on him to respond in a similar
manner, and makes it very obvious that you’re super into him.
Instead, play it cool.

There’s a fine balance between going with your gut and

overthinking what to text him. If you focus too much on
crafting the “perfect message,” then it’s not going to come
across as authentic. Just as he doesn’t want to be blown
away with your rambling texts, he also doesn’t want to
receive a message that appears to be created by an automated
answering system. This means you’re going to want to give
your texts some emotion and personality. The easiest way to
do this is by being fascinating!

Think for a moment about the kind of texts that stir up

emotion when you read them. I guarantee you they’re not the
cringey one- or-two-worders like “Hey” or “What’s up?” . . .
those messages are boring and don’t serve anyone well for
getting a response. Instead you’re going to want to send him
something that makes him think, laugh, smile, and relish the
fact that of all the people you could be texting, you’re choosing
to message him.

You’ll also want to keep your messages short and sweet.

Since most of us lead busy lives, if you’re setting up a texting
conversation in a manner where he feels like it’s going to take
up a big chunk of his time to reply, then he may choose not to
respond at all, at least until much later in the day, say, when
his work day is finished. This sounds rude, but we’ve all been
guilty of ignoring lengthy or rambling messages at some point
or another.

21
 So, how can you be both fascinating and brief? I’ll dish out
the details in parts two and three of this program, but simply
put, you’re going to want to send him texts that reflect a fun
and busy lifestyle. For example, instead of sending him a dull,
“How was your day?” or a dry response when he asks what
you’re up to (“Oh, just doing laundry and watching Sex and the
City reruns”), use vivid language that will paint him a picture.

Replying with a quick “Nothing” or dull “Watching TV” isn’t

going to make him want to keep a conversation going. Instead,
be specific—and if need be, even fib a little bit! For instance,
you could tell him you’re working on a new project or hanging
out with friends, or you could choose to intrigue him with an
interesting question.

With these basic starting points in mind, I’m going to share

with you five rules that will be your absolute best friends when
it comes to texting men. There’s not a single scenario where
you should not be using these, so make sure you lock down
these firecrackers before moving forward with this program.

After all, the way you text might be the reason why you’re single.

To keep it easy, I’ve created the acronym “R.U.L.E.S.”

R
R - Review and Revise
“I should just do it,” Jennifer tells herself while pulling her new
smartphone out of her small leather purse. “I mean, what’s the
worst that could happen?”

Skimming through each phone app for the one that reads
“Messages,” she unfolds the bar napkin that has Josh’s number
sloppily scribbled on it, and enters it into her phone. Then she
thoughtlessly starts typing away.

22
 Hi I was just thinking bout u and thought
I should send a message. What are you
up to?

Realizing he doesn’t yet have her number, she follows

with a quick.

It’s the girl from the bar last night.

And then,

Jennifer

See the problems here?

efore you hit send on your phone it’s important that you
 B read the text you’re planning to send. While doing so,
check it for three things: clarity, spelling, and tone. This may
sound like obvious advice, but you’d be surprised how easy it
is to overlook even the most glaring errors.

Take, for example, the following texts:

I want to grab some food after work.

What are you doing tonight?

ôô Error: Clarity. The person on the receiving end of this

message doesn’t know if they’re being invited to join for
food, or if the sender is asking if they would like to meet
after the fact. Make sure the message you’re sending is
clear to avoid miscommunication.

I think your really sweet.

ôô Error: Spelling. Poor spelling (even when it’s accidental)

can be a huge turn-off for many people. Proofread your
texts! And be sure to look out for homophones. Your
(to have possession) and you’re (you are) mean two
very different things. In really unfortunate situations
misspellings can radically alter the meaning of the
message. Beware of autocorrect, too!

23
 Where are you?

ôô Error: Tone. This text could easily be interpreted as

aggressive, even though if it’s meant pleasantly. Be sure
to choose your words wisely to clearly convey the tone
you mean to be expressing.

To avoid making these mistakes it’s important that you read

your message at least three times before hitting send—better
yet, read them aloud. Not only will it avoid making you look
absent-minded or unintelligent, but it’ll also prevent you
from needing to follow up your text with an embarrassing
corrected version or explanation. Sure, it’s not the end of the
world to have to do so, but it does take away from the original
message and too many texts in a row can be detrimental to
your chances of wooing him.

While reviewing your text, also make note of your grammar.

Are you using proper English, or have you shortened the
message to what is known as “chat speak,” the kind of slang
people use on the Internet to communicate quicker, with
words like “l8r” “plz” and “g2g”? Again, using these shortcuts
may not seem like a big deal, but if you have to explain yourself
then you’re only complicating the situation. And again, not
everyone finds this kind of language attractive.

The other problem with texting your love interest in “chat

speak” is that it gives the impression that he’s not worth those
extra few moments of your time to write out the full word. In
fact, online dating service Zoosk conducted a study of 9,000
people to find out their biggest dating turn-offs. Of the men
asked, 40% said that poor grammar is a deal breaker for them.
So make sure you pay extra attention to this before sending
your texts.

While on the topic of grammar, it’s important to also

note punctuation.

24
For instance, did you know that including an exclamation
mark in your first text message will increase the chances of
you getting a response by 10%? It’s true! In fact, that same
Zoosk survey determined so! That said, even though they get
you responses, you’re still going to want to use them sparingly.
If you add one to the end of every sentence they’re not only
going to lose their magic, but he’s also going to think that
you’re easily excitable, or perhaps even a bit ditsy. That’s not
an ideal impression.

When texting the guy you’re into be wise about where and
when you use any punctuation marks. For example, if you’re
adding a period to the end of every text message then you might
come across as too stern or serious. This is especially true in
situations where the tone of your message isn’t totally clear.
For instance, if you’re blasting off a quick “okay” to a guy’s text,
adding the period could make it seem like you’re unimpressed
or annoyed. Simply ask yourself: is a period necessary here or
not? If you have even the slightest concern that it will come
across negatively, leave it out.

Lastly, when it comes to texting questions, always use a question

mark to make it clear that you’re looking for a response and
not just making a statement.

In situations where you feel a bit of humor could help to woo

over the man you’re messaging, be sure that your jokes are
tasteful and don’t experiment with anything that could come
across as rude or offensive. To get you going, try to relate the
joke back to something the two of you have already laughed
about together. For instance, if you shared a joke about dog
parks, then you could revisit that in a text message. Until you
really get to know the guy, avoid any topics that could be
considered taboo.

Similarly, you’re also going to want to avoid any sort of teasing

or flirting that could be taken out of context. Just because you

25
 think you’re being playful and carefree, doesn’t mean he won’t
read your message as being overly forward or silly.

Finally, in situations where your text message needs a lot of

context to be understood, hold off. Those are the kinds of
stories or comments you want to share in person, or at the very
least over the phone, so that you can interpret one another’s
tone without muddling the message. Even just a couple
misunderstood text messages can send you miles backwards
when trying to win a guy over.

U
U - Use Visual Language
Okay:

How is your day going? I’ve been thinking

about you.

Better:

How is your day going? I’ve been

listening to the Pixies all morning and
smiling about last night.

Best:
How is your day going? I’ve been
prancing around to the Pixies all morning
and can’t shake the smile on my face
from thinking about you and last night.

s we’ve already discussed, men and women are quite

 A different from one another in terms of how they
communicate, whether in person or via text. The same holds
true for the types of texts they best respond to.

While ladies like receiving texts that evoke feelings, men on

the other hand are visual creatures and respond strongest

26
 to messages that allow them to easily envision what they are
reading, and that have a more physical subject matter.

For example, say a man sends his partner a text that reads:

I’m so lucky to have you. You’re such an

amazing woman xo

She’ll likely be swooning over those words immediately.

While I’m not suggesting that a man wouldn’t be happy to

receive this same message, it won’t have the same impact as
one that contains a “visual,” for instance:

I love the feeling I get when you slowly

run your fingertips down my spine. You
really know how to turn me on.

Of course, visual text messages don’t always have to be sexual.

Regardless of what you’re texting him, though, take the time
to add those descriptive details; they make all the difference.

Clic to play this video

in your browser
visual
language

27
L
L - Leave Him Wanting More
his one is pretty self-explanatory and, simply put, it just
 T means don’t overdo it. If you blow up your man’s phone
with pointless messages, or share too much too soon, then
you won’t be giving him a reason to look forward to hearing
from you. Conversely, if you send him only well thought out,
cleverly crafted messages, you’re going to keep him hanging
off your every word . . . or text.

This doesn’t mean that you should just vanish mid conversation.
Pick and choose how much information you share with him
over text, and know when to end a text discussion without
coming across as rude or uncaring. For example, telling him
that you had a great night out with the girls will have him
wondering what you and your posse got up to. Did you meet
up with other guys? Did it get rowdy? Who hooked up with
whom? Sparing these details will not only make him dig for
answers, but he’ll also be that much more covetous of you
knowing that your life goes on when he’s not around—and
that however well behaved you were that night, you were
most likely desired by other guys.

In the next part of this book we’ll cover how sexting fits into
this rule, but for now, keep this in mind: If you’re sharing juicy
information with him, give him a lick; not the whole popsicle.

E
E - Excite Him
s I briefly mentioned, there are few bigger texting sins
 A than the one- or two-word message (“Hi” and “What’s
up?” are major offenders). Not only do these messages lack
originality, but they sound lazy and give him the impression
that you’re bored and only texting for your own selfish, lazy

28
 entertainment. What’s even worse is that these texts do
nothing to spark emotion or encourage a response. Actually,
they’re plain irritating.

When texting the man you’re interested in you will need to

send him more than a lame one-worder if you want to catch
and keep his attention. This means that right from the first
message you should be creative with your words. This sounds
challenging, especially when you’re on the spot and frantically
trying to come up with a response, but it doesn’t have to be.
By using fun, upbeat language, you’ll be the breath of fresh air
he’s looking for.

S
S - Stay Positive
N  egative thoughts are where new relationships go to die,
so if you’re looking for love then sending the guy you’re
trying to woo negative or depressing texts is the last thing
you’ll want to do.

This means that no matter how down you are, you shouldn’t
message him about the debt you’re in, how your mother is
pressuring you to settle down, or that your boss is driving you
crazy. Even if all of those facts are true, focus on the positives
and discuss cheerful, light-hearted topics over text. While
there’s a time and place for opening up and letting your guy
in on those vulnerable thoughts and feelings, texting isn’t it.
It can be tough, but avoid letting your emotions cloud your
written words.

Remember: no man on this planet looks forward to

receiving a barrage of negative text messages, especially when
they’re coming from a woman he’s considering committing
to. If you’re feeling especially sad, let him know that you’re
having a hard day and that you’ll be in touch tomorrow. Maybe

29
he’ll ask to come by for a hug or to talk—if so, you’ve put
yourself in a position where he’s choosing to have an intimate
discussion with you and grow closer to you, rather than just
texting platitudes on a sensitive issue. If it’s not serious, make
him smile when he sees your name pop up on his phone
screen because he knows that whatever you’re sending his
way will be the highlight of his day.

If you’re worrying about how daunting this challenge sounds,

don’t. Once you learn my three magical types of texts in part
two of this program you’ll realize just how easy-peasy it really
can be!

30
How Long Should You Wait
Before Texting Him?

 T here are two distinct divisions to discuss regarding how

long you should wait before texting a man: Sending him
the initial text and responding to his text.

Sending the Initial Text

Picture this:

It’s a Friday night and you’re out with your friends

in a crowded bar. From across the room you lock eyes
with a handsome stranger. As the night carries on, you find
your gaze darting around the room, looking for him. Every
time you find him with your eyes, you see him looking right
back at you.

31
 After a few more drinks, and a couple more glances for
reassurance, he strolls over and introduces himself. As the night
slips into morning, the two of you laugh and exchange stories.
Despite the buzzing noise, you feel like the rest of the world
has disappeared and it’s just the two of you standing there.

When it’s finally time to say goodnight and part ways, he

gives you his number. Beaming from ear to ear, you graciously
accept it and agree to call him sometime. Crawling into bed
that night you feel a galaxy of butterflies flutter in your
stomach as you think about how the night played out. Falling
asleep with a smile, you wake the next day, desperate to send
him a text. But is it too soon?

hen it comes to sending a potential love interest the

 W first text, it can be daunting to determine whether or
not enough time has passed before messaging him. Since you
don’t want to appear “desperate,” a good rule of thumb is to
wait at least three hours before texting him. This shows him
that he’s on your mind, but that you’re also busy and have
other things going on in your life.

In scenarios where this three-hour time slot falls past

midnight, hold off on messaging him until morning—three
hours after you wake up. (Sending your initial text too late
could easily give him the wrong impression.) Just be sure that
you do send a message his way within the first twenty-four
hours of getting his number.

You don’t want to let too much time pass before messaging
him for two reasons: first, to avoid the risk of him forgetting
about you; second, to show him that you are in fact interested
in him. Since he’s given you his number you don’t have to worry
about rejection, and instead you can focus on igniting a spark
between the two of you.

32
As for what to say in your initial text message to him, stay
tuned, that’s coming soon!

Right now, let’s talk about the second scenario.

When he texts you first

n this case there are a few pointers to keep in mind when
I responding to him.

Let’s say you’re in the midst of your morning run and you
feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Slowing your speed,
you take a quick glimpse at the screen to see that it’s a text
from Chris, the cute guy from the market. As the smile spreads
across your face, you bring yourself to a complete halt and
read his message.

It was really nice chatting with you

yesterday. I can’t wait to hear more
about your thoughts on art. Would you
like to meet me for a coffee this week?

Tempted to blast off a quick, “YES I WOULD LOVE TO!” you

realize how desperate that would make you seem. or maybe
not, if you don’t write in all caps . . . So, what should you do in
this scenario?

First, let at least half an hour pass before replying. This

demonstrates to him that you’re not just sitting around waiting
to hear from him; rather you’re busy with other things. We’ll
get to what you should respond with shortly.

Once you’ve responded to his initial text, there’s no set period

of time or magic number of minutes you should wait between
texts. However, here are some helpful tips that will help you
build his attraction levels to you through texting.

33
Mirroring his responses is a great way to set the momentum
between the two of you. If you send him a message and it
takes him three hours to respond to you, then you may also
want to wait a couple of hours before sending him a reply.
By the same token, if he gets back to you within ten minutes,
then feel free to do the same. As long as you’re not replying
to his messages the moment you read them then you’re doing
just fine.

You will also want to avoid sending him multiple messages if he

hasn’t replied to the first. Think of your texting conversation
like a game of tennis: any time you serve (a text), you should
wait for him to return the ball (text again!) before sending
another volley (yep, you got it). If you’re doing the opposite and
sending him multiple messages at a time then you’re going to
come across as clingy, and perhaps even be labeled a pest. By
following the tennis rule you’ll be able to keep him interested,
and also prevent yourself from over-sharing.

On that note, you should beware in general of too much pre-

date texting. Yes, it can be great to get to know someone a little
through texts first, but if you open up too much before you
actually go on a date together then you risk exhausting easy
topics of conversation for when it really matters (face to face!),
and even putting out the flame before it has a chance to fully
spark. Even if your relationship seems to be going swimmingly,
too much texting early on could leave you feeling you’ve said
everything interesting you have to say to each other, even if
you’re wrong—after all, conversation sparks conversation, but
you need a solid place to start!

Lastly, it’s important that you read the signs. If you message
the guy you’re into and you don’t hear back, wait a day or two
before sending him another message. If this message again
goes without a response, give it another few days before
firing off a third and final message. If after that time you’re
still hearing crickets, take the hint and realize he’s not into

34
you. This sounds harsh, I know, but it’s not right for you to
waste your time on someone who doesn’t have the decency to
be upfront of with you, and you shouldn’t disrespect yourself
by trying with a guy who’s clearly not interested. Remember,
one unanswered text could mean he’s busy; two could be
technical difficulties; but three means he’s blowing you off.

35
Emojis:
Yay or Nay?
After meeting at a mutual friend’s Halloween party weeks ago,
Tim and Joanna quickly became nearly inseparable. From
sushi dates and indie film nights to strolls through the park
and moonlit bike rides, the pair were as compatible as peas
and carrots.

Both fairly shy, neither wanted to be the one to inquire about

their relationship status. It didn’t matter though, because they
both felt certain that neither of them were seeing anyone else.

Yet when Tim had to leave town for a weekend to attend his
childhood friend’s wedding, Joanna’s insecurities started to
get the best of her. Would he forget about her while he was
away? Would he meet or hook up with someone else? Kicking
herself for not addressing their situation, little did she know,
he was having the same thoughts.

36
With her phone in hand, she wrote and deleted a dozen
messages before coming up with what she thought was the
most appropriate to send him.

I hope you have fun this weekend. I can’t

wait to see you when you get home. 😘
Opening the text message, Tim’s heart leapt. Yes, the words
were sweet and sincere, but what really pulled his heartstrings
was the emoji she added at the end of the message. In that
moment, he knew exactly what he had to do when he saw her
next, and that he did.

 W hen it comes to emojis, there’s no instruction

manual for when you should and shouldn’t use them.
However, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind.

Before I get to those, though, you need to know why

emojis work wonders for winning guys over.

As we’ve already covered, one of the biggest flaws in

texting is that it can be difficult to interpret what the
message is actually saying. Thankfully, these fun little
faces and symbols can be your best friends when it
comes to transmitting and deciphering meaning!

Vyvyan Evans, a linguistics expert, former professor at

Bangor University, and editor of a journal on language
and cognitive science says that emojis play a big
role in conveying expression and emotion in text
messages. In fact, he even claimed that a simple emoji
has the potential to save relationships, by preventing
misunderstandings and helping men and women to
pick up on each other’s underlying meaning in texts.
He also says that men in particular benefit from text
messages that include emojis, because they provide
them with a visual to help interpret a woman’s tone.

37
 “When a guy says to a woman, ‘I'm going out with my
mates,’ and the woman replies, ‘Fine, do whatever
you want,’ she is actually testing his judgement,”
Evans told The Sunday Telegraph. “She is saying,
‘You should know me well enough by now to know
that I will not be fine with that.’ ”

“If a woman sends the message, ‘Fine, do whatever

you want,’ on a smartphone and adds the angry
face or disappointed face emoji, it gives the
recipient a non-verbal cue . . . showing him how to
interpret the words. A guy can’t miss it and there is
very little room for misunderstanding.”

This also speaks to the logic that actions speak louder

than words. Since you can’t see the person you’re
communicating with, an emoji is a great way to visually
express your emotions, just as you would using body
language if you were in each other’s company.

Linda Kaye, a senior lecturer in psychology at Edge

Hill University, agrees that your choice of emoji can
dramatically alter the meaning of the sentence it’s
included in, and how someone may respond.

Since being able to understand text messages is key

to a lasting relationship, it’s crucial to keep these tips
in mind when messaging the man you’re into.

Let’s move on to how to use emojis, starting with the

most important.

38
 the
pros & cons
Clic to play this video
in your browser
ofusing emojis

Use emojis sparingly

ince these little icons can pack quite the punch, they can be
 S especially helpful when you’re trying to allude to romantic
feelings. However, just like “I love you” loses its punch when
said too often, emojis also lose their meaning when they’re
littered throughout your text messages. In fact, studies have
shown that men don’t like texts filled with emoticons, so
instead of overdoing it, save those adorable little faces for the
texts that really sing, and keep them to one or two, rather than
lines and lines of them. After all, there’s no need or purpose in
texting him a question that’s followed by two lines of thumbs
ups and kitten faces . . .! Remember: when it comes to emojis,
less is more.

Keep your emojis close

ith that in mind, you’ll also want to avoid sending
 W emojis too soon. For instance, if you’re texting a thank
you or goodnight text after a first date, you shouldn’t be
including a winking face or heart eyes in the message. If

39
you do, it will likely be received by your date as coming on
too strong, and ruin an otherwise perfect date. That said,
as a relationship progresses and you feel like you can predict
his reaction better (perhaps he’s not a fan of emojis, or maybe
he uses them all the time), you may want to use these as a tool
to express your growing feelings.

Choose your emojis carefully

owever, just as you choose your words wisely, choose
 H your emoji wisely. Throwing in a random eggplant or crab
may give your guy the wrong impression.

Now for the juicy part . . . catch you in part two!

40
 Part 2
What to Text Men
to Attract and Win
Them Over
41
Clic to play this video
in your browser
part
welcome
2
I n this part of Text Chemistry, I’m going to share with
you a technique I call “Rocket Texts.” You can use these
three types of text messages on any man to make him
yours. That said, your own personal scenario needs to be
considered because these texts are strategically applied
based on a relationship’s timeline.

Of course, guys don’t necessarily think in stages or timeframes

when getting involved with someone romantically, but it’s
undeniable that there are various phases in a relationship; this
is why you need to use these Rocket Texts in a particular order,
starting with “Ready for Takeoff” texts, then “Shooting for the
Stars” texts, and lastly, “Keeping the Chemistry Ablaze” texts.

When done correctly, Rocket Texts can develop and strengthen

chemistry between you and the man you’re messaging. On the
other hand, when sent in the wrong order, chaos can easily
ensue, and the guy you’re texting might make a run for it. We
don’t want that to happen.

From your initial text exchange and first date, to establishing

your exclusiveness, to keeping the spark alive and staying
loyally committed to one another, these are the messages
you’ll want to use to ignite the spark and keep the fire burning.

Let’s start from the top.

42
 1. The Early Days:
“Ready for Takeoff” Texts

 I often get asked what the difference between “seeing someone”

and “dating someone” is; after all, these two phrases tend to
get interlaced and interchanged quite a bit in today’s love
culture. However, as innocent as mixing these two phrases up
may seem, they actually have vastly different meanings.

I’m sharing this with you because the first type of text message
is for when you’re “seeing someone,” meaning you haven’t yet
established any sort of mutually strong romantic feelings
between the two of you. At this point, you’re still in the midst
of deciding whether or not the person you’re spending time
with is someone you’d consider dating. However, going on
these casual dates doesn’t mean that you’re dating—this is
extremely important to note.

The texts you will be sending the man you’re messaging at this
stage are designed to grab his attention and pique his intrigue,

43
like a rocket waiting to launch. They will make him happy to
hear from you, and they’ll stir up the kind of attraction and
excitement that you’ll need to take the relationship to the
next level.

Before I give you the messages you’ll be sending at this point

in the game, take into consideration where and when you met
the man you’re hoping to woo. For instance, did you exchange
numbers at a bar last night, or have you been platonic friends
since high school and only recently felt the two of you could
be something more?

Why is this important? Well, picture this:

You went out dancing with the girls last night and
met a handsome stranger. The two of you jived and before
parting ways, you exchanged numbers. Given the scenario
in which you met, it’s fair to say that the primary reason for
exchanging numbers is based on feelings of attraction.

Now let’s say that you are grocery shopping and run
into a man who you haven’t seen since your university years.
You excitedly recognize one another, exchange a friendly hug,
and quickly list off some of the more interesting things you’ve
both experienced since last speaking. Before parting ways,
you mutually agree that it would be nice to properly catch up
over a coffee or drink sometime, and you swap numbers. Even
though you could feel the butterflies brewing as you chatted,
given your history with this man, it’s not explicitly implied
that you’re exchanging numbers for a romantic reason.

Despite the different backgrounds, the fact remains the same:

you have his number and want to text him. What comes next is
the important part, and that’s choosing the right words. After
all, texting someone you met at the club is going to be vastly
different from texting an old pal. Still, the end goal remains
the same: you want to make it known that you are interested

44
 in him, but you need to do so in a way that doesn’t make you
appear desperate.

The trick here is to start small and build a texting rapport

with your guy before sending him anything that’s too heavy or
suggestive. How he writes and responds to your text messages
is going to play a big part in how the situation unfolds, but
there are some key ideas to keep in mind when texting him in
these early days. Remember: texting reveals your personality
and is a digital first impression; those first few messages you
send can determine your entire romantic future.

Here are some examples of different types of text messages

you can send him at the “Takeoff” stage.

early texting
success stories
Clic to play this video
in your browser

“Fueling His Engine” Texts

ven the most modest men love talking about themselves
 Ewhen asked, and the early days of a potential relationship
are a great time to give him the chance to feel like a star. This
means that rather than rambling about yourself during the first
stage of texting, you want to text questions asking him about
himself. This will show him that you are interested in getting
to know him better, and trust me: he’ll love the spotlight.

45
Just be careful here. If you ask him too many questions and
make it feel like an interview, then he may put up his guard or
stray away. Needless to say, you don’t want to ask him about
anything too personal at this time, and don’t send him any
questions that could be considered offensive. Instead, stick
to positive topics, or ask him about things you already know
about him. You may need to do your homework here, taking
the time to recall some of the things you chatted about in
person. Or, you can play detective and dig through his online
profiles to learn something new about him. Use these topics
as the basis for your texting questions. When he believes that
you have a genuine interest in getting to know him, he’ll be
more inclined to open up to you.

With that in mind, save the big (or deep) talks for when you’re
in person. Sure, texting is a great means to get to know
someone, but if you use all of your fuel too soon, then you’ll
find yourself scrabbling for conversation topics when you do
meet up. Instead, stick to texts that will get him revved up and
chatting about the more basic things he does and enjoys.

Examples of texts that will “fuel his engine”:

Your job sounds really interesting. How

did you get into your field?

I heard you scored tickets for the

Radiohead show in Vancouver next
month! That’s super exciting! What other
shows have you been to lately?

I’m heading to yoga tonight. Do you have

any hobbies?

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“Preparing for Blastoff” Texts
n the early stages of texting, you’re going to want to focus on
I making plans. Since texting allows you to create whatever
impression of yourself you wish to convey, too much of it may
set you up for failure. In other words, it could put so much
pressure on you that when you do finally meet up and interact
face to face, you don’t feel like you can be your natural self.
What’s worse is that even if you choose to fake it for the first
little while, your true colors will eventually shine through,
and he will realize that you’re not the same person you were
pretending to be in your early texts.

This is why in the first few messages you send him you’re
going to want to initiate plans. While doing so, you need to
be specific. Sending a message like, “Want to do something
sometime?” or even, “Let’s hang out this weekend” is vague,
and it doesn’t ask for much commitment. On the other hand,
being specific about your plans gives him something to commit
to, and it also shows your assertive side—this is a good thing,
because no man likes indecisiveness.

The more original you can be here, the better. Sure, asking to
meet for a coffee works, but instead of opting for the typical
date or meet-up idea, suggest something fun and unique.
Maybe there’s a show in town you’d like to check out, or a new
restaurant opening. Perhaps the weather is getting nice and
there’s a great park to stroll in nearby. The more creative
you can be here, the better. If you can propose an event or
place that the two of you have chatted about in a previous
conversation, that’s perfect.

If you’re feeling shy about initiating plans, or if you’re worried

about rejection, or if you want him to be the one pursuing
you, then you may want to put the ball in his court. To do so,

47
it’s crucial that you let him know you’re interested in going
on a date and give him the opportunity to ask you out.

For instance, you could text him, “I’ve loved chatting with
you and think it would be wonderful to do so in person.” This
works well, because the message is positive, and it opens
the door for him to ask you out without fear of being turned
down. A more playful version of this kind of message would be
something along the lines of, “You have amazing eyes. I’d love
to see them in person ;).”

Examples of “Preparing for Blastoff” Texts:

Hey, how about dinner at that tapas

restaurant we talked about, this
Wednesday night? Around 8-ish?

Spring is in the air! Would you like to join

me for a stroll tomorrow evening? I’ll
bring the cider!

I just found out that Art Battle is back in

town this Friday. Want to join me for the
paint party?

I love chatting with you. When are you

going to ask me out already?

Comical Texts
t’s an age-old fact that laughter is one of the easiest ways
I to a man’s heart, so if you have something comical to share
with him, do it! Of course, there are a few things to ask yourself
before doing so. First, is whatever you’re sharing with him
relatable, and will he see the humor in it? Again, you’ll need to
take the time to recall something you know he likes for this
message. This may be something the two of you talked about

48
in person, or it may be something he shared about himself in
his online dating profile.

For example, let’s say you meet a guy in the local market and
start chatting about the selection of vegetarian products
they sell. When you text him, find a witty or comedic way to
reference that conversation. Or if you recall reading that he
enjoys collecting coins, then you could use that as a launchpad
for a joke.

The second thing you’ll want to consider before blasting

off a joke via text is this: could it be considered offensive in
any way? A distasteful text to the guy you’ve yet to date can
destroy your chances of building a relationship with him. That
means this isn’t the time (or place) to try out your latest stand-
up routine or drop your dirtiest wisecrack. Instead, simply
give him a glimpse of the fun he’d have hanging out with you
without getting too far ahead of yourself.

Lastly, you’ll want to make sure that you aren’t overdoing

the humor or making all of your text messages sound
like a joke. A clever one-liner or a fun pun can take you far,
but adding “haha” or “LOL” to every message could take away
from it, and it could even confuse him. For instance, if you
send him something along the lines of “It was so nice seeing
you last night” and add “HAHA” to the end of it, then he’s going
to be unsure of whether or not you actually mean it.

If you can make him chuckle with a Comical Text, then you
can almost guarantee that you’ll be on his mind all day. So be
the happy-go-lucky, whimsical woman that every guy dreams
of finding, and you’ll have him counting down the seconds
until your first (or next) date.

One of the best ways to make a guy laugh is by sending him

animated GIF's or memes. If you have an iOS or Android
device, you can install special keyboards or add-ons that will

49
 allow you to send him funny clips. This is a great way to break
the ice after a long period of silence.

Examples of Comical Texts:

*Send a funny meme*

This is what I think when I look at you.

*Send a picture of a greasy hamburger

you’re eating*
I’m on a strict diet here. Burgers only.

*Send a funny YouTube video*

This is me after Pilates.

the
cess stories
Clic to play this video
in your browser
power
humor
of

Crystal Ball Texts

Consider the following scenario:

Sitting in the lunchroom, Joe unwraps his homemade ham

and cheese sandwich and pulls out his phone. Seeing he’s
received a message from Laura, he taps the screen to open
the text.

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 You know that big project I’ve been
working on? Well, my boss absolutely
loved it and told me how much he
appreciates all of my hard work! I’m
feeling great and wanted to share my
good news with you. I hope you’re having
a wonderful day, too!

Grinning ear to ear, Joe can’t help but feel proud to be the one
this impressive woman is texting with her good news.

hat I call “Crystal Ball Texts” are the type of texts that
W give the guy receiving them a glimpse into what life
with you would be like. They are designed to make him feel
lucky to be on your mind, and to show him what an outgoing,
confident, happy, and motivated woman you are.

To properly send this kind of love-for-life messages, use

words that ooze positivity. Whether you’re sharing your own
achievements or encouraging his endeavors, telling him how
great of a day you’re having, or letting him know how blessed
you feel, the point of these messages is to make him think
about how bright the future looks with you in it—because Girl,
you’re radiating sunshine! What’s the secret to pulling off this
type of text? Expressing a genuine love for life.

Don’t be afraid to be fun and flirty in this type of text either,

especially if you can send him something that you know will
make him feel good about himself. Whatever you choose
to send him, just make sure that your text tells the story
of a woman who is bold enough to know what she wants, and
brave enough to take it! When you can be the one who makes
him feel a vibrant love for life, he’ll go gaga for you and have
the urge to make you his own.

You shouldn’t stop sending these texts once you lock him
down, either. Even if you’ve got him wrapped around your
little finger, Crystal Ball messages can be used to keep your
guy hooked. In fact, showing him your positive outlook and

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sense of self-certainty on a regular basis will get him so
caught up in you that the very idea of another man getting to
experience you will make him jealous to the point that he’ll be
sure to keep you close. These messages are a sneaky way to
implant ideas of marriage in his head—but don’t worry; this
isn’t meant to be manipulative. It just shows him firsthand
what an amazing catch he’s found.

Examples of Crystal Ball Texts:

Good luck on your presentation today.

You’re going to be absolutely amazing!

I woke up this morning and remembered

how lucky I am to live in this absolutely
breathtaking city. I hope the sun is
shining for you this morning, too!

Good morning! I hope you have a

productive day and get all of your to-do
list tackled. You’re such a hard worker,
it’s impressive. Don’t forget to give
yourself a well deserved break at some
point, too!

Satellite Texts
ou’ve been texting the guy you’re into, but lately his
 Y responses are few and far between. When you ask if
something is wrong, he says he’s just been busy. This may very
well be true, but you’ve noticed that he’s found time to like
posts on Instagram and reply to comments on Facebook . . .
yet he doesn’t text you back.

If you’re like most women, then you’re probably feeling

dismayed. Maybe you’ll want to call him out on it, or maybe
you are tempted to send him a snotty “Cool story bro” text; or

52
maybe you’ll wallow in your own self-pity and wish that you
were someone he wanted to message. Well, if you’re looking to
win this guy over, then it’s time to put those behaviors to bed.

Instead of getting your knickers in a twist or sending him

passive-aggressive messages because he’s not replying, send
him the kind of text that he’ll want to respond to—the kind
that will grab his attention and, like a moon circling a planet,
pull his orbit back to you. I call these “Satellite Texts.”

Satellite Texts can be tricky because you don’t want to be

overbearing or make it seem like you’re desperate to hear
from him. Even more importantly, you want it to come across
as though his lack of communication hasn’t been affecting
your life—after all, your life is far too fun and busy to be put
off by a few unanswered messages.

Before sending him another message, take the time to reflect

on the texts you’ve sent that went unanswered. Were they
rambling or, from his perspective at least, pointless? Did you
send them at a time when he was likely busy with work? Did
they require a lot of thought, or a long response on his part?

To pull him back in, you’re going to want to send him a Satellite
Text. This kind of message doesn’t beg for a reply, but instead,
it’s of value to him. For instance, you may want to share some
news that you think he’ll find fascinating, or, if you are going to
ask a question, make it one that he’ll enjoy answering because
it’s of interest to him. (As you may have guessed, because
of the draw it creates, this kind of text is great in situations
where you’re looking to win an ex back.)

Just remember, men like to keep things simple, so if your texts

demand a lot of attention or are overbearing, then he may
be choosing to avoid them. Also, keep in mind that guys love
their freedom, and a smothered man won’t stick around. If you
want him to respond to your messages and be happy to hear

53
from you, then the trick is to keep your texting relationship
lighthearted and easy.

Examples of Satellite Texts:

Hey, I hope you’re having a great day. I

just wanted to let you know that the
radio station is giving away free tickets
to the Blues Fest. I thought you might be
interested in scoring a few!

My sister and her boyfriend are coming

into town for the weekend and want to
check out some live music. You’re more
of an expert in this area than I am. Do
you have any suggestions for where they
should go?

Hey! I was hoping to hit that cool

Mexican cafe you took me to again this
weekend. Can you please remind me of
its name?

“Stir the Pot” Texts

Consider the following scenario:

Dawn and Ben had been texting each other for a few weeks
and had gotten together a handful of times. The spark between
the pair was undeniable, but due to a previous heartbreak, he
was keeping her at arm’s length. Desperate to bring him closer,
Dawn used a clever “Stir the Pot” Text.

What did you get up to tonight?

I went to the theatre to see the new

IT movie with Josh. It was amazingly
terrifying, you should see it!

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 Ben could feel his body temperature skyrocket as he read her
message. Not because he was angry with her, but because of the
jealousy that overtook him as he pictured her sitting in a dark
theatre, clinging to some other man’s arm as she jumped and
shrieked out of fright. In that moment, he knew that he had
to drop his guard and sweep her off her feet—before someone
else did!.

t’s pretty rare that you hear of a case where intentionally

I agitating a person can spark a positive reaction, but in the
early days of seeing someone new, stirring up feelings of
jealousy or discomfort can actually do wonders for making
the man you’re seeing commit to something more with you.

Of course, this needs to be done subtly. If the man you’re

texting gets the impression that you’re intentionally trying to
get a reaction out of him, then this will backfire on you. Don’t
worry, though, because building chemistry through these
types of messages is easier than it sounds.

By being mysterious in your messages—more specifically, by

remaining vague about your plans and company—it will get
the wheels in your man’s head turning. From casually dropping
other guy’s names in your texts to sending him ambiguous
messages about your “crazy” or “amazing night out,” tidbits
of information like this will have him wondering what you’re
doing, who you’re meeting, and where you’re going.

Make note that when sending this sort of message, it’s

important to keep all of your texts positive and not overdo
it. If you hold back too much information on a regular basis,
then he may start to get the impression that you’re into
someone else.

Examples of “Stir the Pot” Texts:

Last night was crazy! It’s been a while

since I’ve gone out and let loose.

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 I’m meeting Mark for a drink after work,
but I’ll message you when I’m free.

I’m Sam’s plus-one for a wedding this

weekend. Apparently there’s a pool
where we’re staying, so I have to go
bikini shopping tonight.

Important tips to keep in mind while texting him

at this point in your relationship:
úú Be straightforward
Since you’re still in the stage of determining whether or
not the two of you are compatible enough to take things
to the next level and date, it’s important that you don’t
play games. As you already know, men and women text
quite differently from one another, so if he’s struggling to
decipher your messages, or if he feels overwhelmed with
confusion when reading them, then sooner or later he’s
going to give up.

úú Keep it simple and relevant

So you want to text the guy who’s been monopolizing
all of your thoughts, but you can’t justify a reason to
message him. A good icebreaker is to recall the previous
interaction you shared. For example, let’s say the last time
you spoke he mentioned that he was going to play hockey
with the guys. Asking him how the night went will not
only show him that you were in fact listening to what he
said, but also that you have a genuine interest in his life
outside of you and him. A good rule of thumb is to send
one key point per text message.

Also, while texting can be used to create intimacy and

enhance your relationship, it can also ruin it if your

56
 messages become boring or annoying. Keep it interesting
and relevant to his life, and message him tactfully;
texting a guy too much is a big no-no.

úú Sunshine and lollipops

Keep your messages positive. Just because you had a rough
day at work or received some terrible news from home,
it doesn’t mean you should be sending it in his direction—
especially not in a text. As I explained in part one of this
program, it’s important that you keep your text messages
lighthearted and cheery. Don’t be the bearer of bad
news, because no guy wants to take that woman home to
his mother.

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2. The Dating Days:
“Shooting for the Stars” Texts

 O nce you and your guy have established a mutual

romantic liking for each other, there will come a time
when you have the “exclusivity talk.” It may not happen
right away, but if you know that the two of you aren’t seeing
other people, then “Shooting for the Stars” texts are the ones
you’ll want to send him.

Sure, there can be some gray areas in the beginning of this

phase, but once you’re feeling certain that the two of you
are in fact “an item,” then that is your green light to send
these messages.

The texts you’ll be sending your man at this point in the game
are designed to make him crave you in a way that will have him
hanging off your every word. Since it’s normal for the initial
excitement you felt in the early days to dwindle a bit once the
two of you have gotten to know each other, it’s important that

58
you keep that chemistry alive. Believe me, a well-worded text
message can do wonders for keeping him close and content.

Here are different types of “Shooting for the Stars” texts you
can send him at this stage in your relationship.

“Game On” Texts

rom the time they were little boys on the playground, with
 F scraped knees and dirty jeans, to grown men focused on
getting the girl, it’s safe to say that most men have a competitive
streak. Maybe your guy is quick to show this, or maybe it’s
more of an inner competitiveness that he wrestles with.
Either way, if you can text him something that triggers his
competitive side, you’ll have him hooked on your messages
and striving for your approval.

That’s not to say you should send him the same kind of goofy
or crude text that you would send to your closest guy friends,
but rather show him your fun side and create a playful dialogue
between the two of you. If you can keep your relationship
exciting by letting him work to win you over and impress you,
then believe me, he’ll not only look forward to seeing you, but
he’ll be yours for the long term.

This isn’t a new concept. Since the beginning of time, men

have strived to be providers for their families. The difference
here is that, rather than expecting it from him or directly
asking for it, you’re setting it up for him to “win.” When he
does, acknowledge his accomplishments, then let it go and
make him work for you again. He’ll absolutely love the chase.
The game is on!

59
Examples of “Game On” Texts:

Tonight. You, me, and a couple bowling

balls. Loser buys the beers afterwards.

I heard you play guitar. Want to learn a

song for me?

Remember that time I kicked your butt

at badminton? I think it’s time for a
rematch . . . or are you too scared?😜

Supernova Texts
or reasons unknown, women worry that telling their man
 F they miss them will make them seem clingy. However, if
you feel this way, ask yourself this: Would you find it “clingy”
if your guy told you that he missed you, or if he let you know
that you were on his mind? The answer is, probably not.

Like an exploding star that produces an extremely bright

light, the Supernova Text is designed to make your man
radiate with joy over the fact that you are thinking about him.
Of course, this requires balance, and if you send him a slew
of these messages then yes, he may get the impression that
he’s all you have going on in your life, and after a while they
won’t make him glow. However, when sent appropriately,
Supernova Texts can do wonders for making him feel like he’s
found someone thoughtful and sweet.

When the inspiration strikes, let him know that he is on your

mind. This could be the morning after a great night together,
or it could be because you heard a song on your drive home
from work that made you think of him. Once you open yourself
up to being vulnerable, he’ll see how much he means to you
and he’ll look forward to seeing you. Just be sure to sound
confident and keep your messages simple.

60
 Examples of Supernova Texts:

I heard a song on the radio this morning

that made me think of you. You’ve been
on my mind ever since xo

Last night was so much fun. I’m so happy

I found you.

I can’t stop laughing when I think about

the hilarious adventure we went on last
weekend. I’m so lucky to call you mine.

Clic to play this video

in your browser
supernova
texts
Shining Star Texts
f you really want to make your man swoon, then
I sending a Shining Star Text will do so. Take the time to
think about something that is unique to your guy, and let
him know that you’ve made note of it. Maybe it’s the way he
sneezes when looking up at the sun, or perhaps it’s the way he
pronounces a certain word. You want him to know that these
little nuances are what make him special to you.

You don’t have to stick to his physical attributes, either. For

instance, if he has strong spiritual beliefs, is an amazing family

61
man, or is passionate about social justice issues, you can use
those attributes in your messages, too. The point of this type
of text is to point out something about your man that isn’t
necessarily obvious. This may sound like a simple notion, but
when you let him know that you pay close attention to the
things that make him who he is as an individual, he’ll be head
over heels for you.

To get you started with this kind of text message, make a list of
all the things you like about your partner, be it his personality
traits, work ethic, outlook on life, and so on—just be sure that
the things you write down are about who he is as a person.
For example, his honesty or patience would be qualities
worth mentioning, or you could mention a thoughtful gesture
he’s made lately. His great apartment or his winning streak
in soccer are not the things you should be praising him for.
Once you have your list, let him know what you admire and
appreciate about him, and why he’s your shining star.

Examples of Shining Star Texts:

I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, but

the way you say ‘specific’ is absolutely
adorable. I love listening to you speak.

I love the way you make a point to call

your mother every Sunday. I think it’s
really sweet that family is so important
to you.

I admire how you always find the good in

people. That’s such a rare but amazing
trait to have.

Tantalizing Texts
’d be lying if I said that keeping the attraction and heat alive
I during the dating days wasn’t one of the most important

62
aspects of keeping your man close and content. Since he
has committed you and only you at this point, it’s important
that you give him what he still longs for: to be aroused—
and satisfied.

The good news is that all you have to do to fulfill this desire of
his is to write your own personal erotica and send it his way.
Of course, this can be as PG or X-rated as you’re comfortable
with, but keep in mind that in general, the juicier, the better.

While sexting can be a great outlet for exploring your

fantasies, it’s important that you don’t blatantly agree to
doing something that makes you uncomfortable. After all,
there’s a huge difference between living out a bondage fantasy
via texts and actually doing it in person.

If you’re new to sexting, then you may want to start slow and
send him something that will arouse him without you needing
to say too much. Even just giving him a sexy mental image of
you will do the trick. For instance, you could mention that
you’re just about to go lingerie shopping, or message him
while you’re soaking in a nice warm bath. Depending on how
your guy responds, you’ll know your next move.

To really get him going, be sure to make your texts as

descriptive as possible. For example, instead of telling him
that you want to kiss him, tell him where you want to kiss
him, and how. Or rather than saying you’ll let him undress
you, tell him what he’ll be removing from you body. This might
sound cheesy to you, but the more vivid you can make your
messages, the better, and with the push of a few buttons you
can seduce him in a way that will make him sexually addicted
to you. The opportunity to achieve this is at your fingertips.

Remember, the advantage to sexting is the opportunity to

put your thoughts into words in a clear and provoking way.
Take the time to think about what it is that you are trying

63
to say, and edit out anything that may be misleading. If you
want to put the ball in his court and have him pave the way for
sexting, then consider sending him a sexy Q&A-type of text.
For instance: “If you were here with me right now, what would
you do to me?” This will initiate a steamy convo in no time.

Examples of Tantalizing Texts:

Tell me what turns you on. Whatever it is,

we’ll do it tonight.

When you come home tonight, I’ll be

waiting in bed. I want you to do that
thing that you know drives me wild. Don’t
😉
worry, I’ll return the favor.

My roommates are gone this weekend.

We can be as loud as we want tonight,
and I want to be loud.

Constellation Texts
ou know how they say that it’s best to leave some things
 Y to the imagination, or that “less is more”? Well, the same
can be said about texting. That’s why if you’re looking to turn
up the heat in your relationship, then three little dots—a.k.a.,
ellipses—can work wonders for insinuating more.

Just like the stars in the night sky can paint a picture
or tell a story, using ellipses instead of completing your
sentence will get your man’s heart pounding and his mind
engaged. That’s why I call these “Constellation Texts.” When
done properly, you’ll have him responding to you faster than
greased lightning. Don’t be afraid to add a smiley or winking
emoji at the end of your message, either; it’ll show him your
flirtatious, playful side.

64
Bear in mind that you don’t have to follow up a Constellation
Text with something sexual. In fact, you can choose to finish
with a sweet compliment or some praise for something he’s
done. Or, if you do choose to hint at something suggestive, it
can be as PG as you wish. Just be sure that you don’t tease
him with this type of text too often, or else they’ll start to lose
their magic.

Examples of Constellation Texts:

😉
I can’t stop thinking about you . . .

I wish you were here so we could . . . 😉

Guess what I’m thinking about . . .

Mercy Texts
 N o matter how perfect your relationship is, there
comes a time when everything isn’t sugar and spice and
everything nice (in fact, if you and your man don’t hit some
road bumps along the way in the early months and years, then
there will likely be a bigger problem when they inevitably do
crop up). When this happens, you may find yourself texting
about the issue.

Regardless of how livid you may be with your guy, it’s important
to remember that what you say in the heat of the moment can
be forgiven, but not necessarily forgotten. So before you go
on a texting rampage, ask yourself if what you’re sending him
is going to make a lasting impression, and whether the issue
at hand is worth throwing away your relationship over. There
is never a justified reason to be insulting or abusive to your
partner—not even through text messages.

65
To overcome these tough situations, let your partner know
why you were upset, but clearly state that you would like
to move forward. By focusing on the positive aspects of
your partner, you’ll be less likely to text him anything that
will seriously hurt him or the relationship. Consider Mercy
Texts as the gentle “make up or break up” catalysts in your
relationship. Be kind and show compassion, and remember
that everyone has flaws.

Examples of Mercy Texts:

I know we hit a roadblock today, but I

want you to understand why I am upset. I
would also like to talk about the issue so
that we can move on happily together.

You know I’m upset, but I do love you,

and I want to get through this together.

If we give one another the opportunity

to share our feelings and listen to one
another, then we’ll get through this. Just
please be patient with me, because I
am hurt.

Important tips to keep in mind while texting him

at this point in your relationship:
úú Less is more
Just because your boyfriend is on your mind 24/7 doesn’t
mean he needs to receive all of your thoughts, via text, as
they occur. Instead of blowing up his phone on an hourly
basis, hold off and only send him texts that have a purpose.
If you make a point to only share texts that you know will
make him smile, then he’ll be grinning every time your
name appears on his screen.

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úú 1:1 texting ratio
When you text your boyfriend, wait until you hear back
from him before sending another message. Of course,
there will be situations where you’re justified in texting
him after an unanswered message (for example, if you
need an immediate answer, if you need a follow-up from
your previous text, and so on), but whenever possible,
avoid over-messaging him.

úú Know your desired response

Before you send your guy any sort of text, it’s important
that you ask yourself what kind of response you would
like to get from him. It’s so easy to quickly fire off a text
without fully considering how he is going to interpret and
react to it, but unless you do so, texting could get messy.
By asking yourself what kind of response you’re looking
to get from him, it helps to send him a text that will evoke
the feelings you’re looking to stir up in him.

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3. The Long Run:
“Keeping the Chemistry Ablaze” Texts

Consider the following scenario:

Staring distantly into the night sky, Ashley sat, unsure of how
to put her thoughts into words. “I’m just going to go for it,”
she told herself while typing out what, in her heart, was the
toughest thing she’d ever had to text.

Ashley and Tim had been together since their senior year of
high school, and right from day one it was written in the stars
that the pair would go the distance. They didn’t have it easy,
though. From Ashley studying abroad while Tim stuck around
town, to her bittersweet return to care for her sick mother, the
first few years of their relationship were anything but easy.

Once the storm had settled, the two of them agreed that it
was time to plant some roots together, and they decided to
move to the east coast where he had been offered a great job

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 in his engineering field. In their new city, the move seemed to
reignite a fiery passion in their relationship, and they spent
their first year there discovering their favorite cafes and
martini bars and which movie theatre played the best foreign
films. However, as the years passed, it became clear that their
spark was again beginning to wane.

Desperate to keep their love alive, Ashley decided it was time

to talk. Uncomfortable with the confrontation, Tim sweetly
brushed off her concerns and told her it was “normal” for
relationships to change over time. Unable to argue with his
logic, she still felt like something needed to be done if the two
of them were to stay happily together. The question was: what
could she do? Against the idea of therapy and tired of having
her concerns downplayed by him, she took to a notebook and
started to write. Pages later, she breathed a huge sigh of relief
and realized exactly how she could get through to Tim: she
could text him.

 A s this example shows, love changes over time, and the

initial butterflies and bliss that you felt in the beginning
of your relationship may shift or fade. As you spend
more time with your man, your personal flaws start to show.
As unfavorable as this sounds, it’s an inevitable truth that
even the strongest relationships face their share of bumps in
the road.

However, one of the benefits of being together for a long time

is that the way you communicate with one another becomes
more relaxed and honest—and this extends to texting.

The right kind of text messages can keep the

chemistry alive, making your man feel like he is the
luckiest guy in the world to have you even years after
being in a committed relationship. When I say “the
right kind of messages,” I’m referring to the ones that
not only make him feel good about himself, but also

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 remind him that you’re a breath of fresh air in an
otherwise sometimes gray world.

In fact, psychologists have found that having

a passion for life can help keep the passion alive
in a relationship. A 2012 Stony Brook University
study that examined personality qualities to predict
long-term passionate love found that individuals
who exhibit excitement for life and what it has
to offer are more likely to find success in their
romantic partnerships:

“People who approach their daily lives with zest

and strong emotion seem to carry these intense
feelings over to their love life as well,” Susan Krauss
Whitbourne, Ph.D., wrote in Psychology Today. “If
you want your relationship to have passion, put
that emotional energy to work in your hobbies,
interests, and even your political activities.”

Since texting is a compelling way to make sure that what you

have to say gets heard, when you communicate positively with
your man, it can do wonders for keeping your chemistry alive.
So instead of reserving texting solely for confirming plans and
passing along information, use it as your own personal tool
for keeping your relationship in check—and romantic. When
done properly, texting can strengthen the love you share and
make your bond stronger than ever.

Here are a few different types of text messages you can send
your long-term boyfriend, fiancé, or husband.

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Flight Texts
ow often do you catch yourself daydreaming or wishing
 H you were somewhere else? Don’t worry—we all do it.
Instead of leaving your man to his own thoughts, you can send
him Flight Texts that will help give him that mental getaway.

This type of message is great for a few reasons. First, it doesn’t

demand much thought on his part. Second, it’s positive and
gives him a temporary break from his daily routine. And third,
it allows him to interact with you while the two of you live
in a fantasy world for a moment.

The trick with these messages is to set them up in a way that is

positive and fun, meaning you don’t want to ask anything too
heavy here. Instead, blast off one of these messages followed
by a fun emoji, and he’ll be smiling just reading it.

Double props if you can find a way to bring a little bit of this
make-believe into your real life when you see each other
next. For example, let’s say you text him “If you and I could be
anywhere in the world together at this very moment, where
would you want to be?” and he responds with “Italy,” then
you could make an Italian-themed dinner for the two of you,
complete with a foreign soundtrack to set the mood. Just be
sure to never prompt a Flight Text fantasy that you aren’t
prepared to somehow fulfill.

Another great Flight Text is to message your man a riddle.

Doing so will bring out the playful side of you both and keep
your conversations fresh. It’s also a great way to bring some
light-hearted teasing into the relationship.

Examples of Flight Texts:

Let’s pretend that you woke up this

morning with a superpower; what is it?

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 If you won the lottery today, what is the
first thing you’d buy?

If you got stranded on a desert island

and could only bring three things, what
would they be?

What’s at least six inches long, goes

in your mouth, and is more fun if
it vibrates?
(Answer: a toothbrush. Come on.)

Thirty white horses on a red hill, first

they champ, then they stamp, then they
stand still. What are they?
(Answer: teeth.)

Radical Recognition Texts

When you first fall in love with someone, it’s
normal to worship the ground they walk on, and to
see them as the most attractive, funny, kind, and
charming person in the world. Over time, though,
it’s common for their flaws to peek through, and
before you know it, you’ve taken your partner off his
perfect pedestal. However, studies have shown that
maintaining a sense of “love blindness” is critical to
long-lasting, passionate love.

The University of Geneva reviewed nearly five

hundred studies on compatibility and came to the
conclusion that couples who maintained a positive
illusion about one another—meaning they continued
to see their partner as good-looking, intelligent,
funny, caring, and a “catch”—remained happy with
each other on nearly all measures over time.

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 Another study published in The Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology also shows that compliments,
when they’re understood to be sincere and
meaningful, can significantly increase relationship
satisfaction. This suggests that it’s not just the grand
gestures that play a role in keeping couples happily in
love, but rather that showing love through words and
small gestures is important, too. That’s why sending
your man the kind of text that compliments him or
recognizes what he does will trigger dopamine in
the brain, which can do wonders for strengthening
the bond between you.

hink about it for a moment: if you were with a man who

 Tnever went out of his way to recognize or appreciate all
that you did for him, would you happily stick around or be
inclined to keep doing those things? Sure, relationships are
not all about receiving praise for what you do for your partner,
but at the same time, letting your man know that his actions
don’t go unnoticed will keep him happily committed and on
the same path.

Radical Recognition Texts are great for letting your man know
that, from the bottom of your heart, you appreciate all that
he does for you. The reason it works so well is because unlike
when you’re face to face with one another, when you send this
kind of message it lets him know that you’re thinking about his
efforts even when he’s not in sight. It also allows him to think
about, appreciate, and miss you from a distance, a potent
recipe for emotional and sexual intensity next time you meet.

Of course, you’re going to want whatever you write to be

time-sensitive and relevant, because texting him about
something that he did a year ago isn’t going to be as moving
as something he did last night—it may also imply that that
was the last commendable thing you can think of, which is
not a positive thing for your partner to hear! Sure, you can

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play on the past a bit, but be sure to focus on more recent
events on the whole. This kind of recognition keeps him
working to win you over.

Examples of Radical Recognition Texts:

I want you to know that I appreciate you

driving me to work each morning. I know
it’s out of your way, but the fact that you
do it to make my life easier makes me
the luckiest woman in the world.

I just wanted to thank you for all the

things you do for me. Even though I
might not always show it, you mean the
world to me.

I was just thinking about what a great

father you are to our children. I see how
much they love and look up to you, and
it makes me feel extremely lucky to have
this family with you. You’re amazing.

E-Glow Texts
our man probably doesn’t know how great he is and what he
 Ymeans to you. Even if he does, there’s no harm in reminding
him and making his ego glow.

A great way to keep the chemistry between you and your man
is to let him know that you think he’s the bee’s knees and how
perfect he is for you. Even if you’ve told him so a million times,
do so again. I call these “E-Glow Texts.” The reason these
texts are gold is because they boost your man’s confidence
and let him know that he’s number one in your books. They
also play a big role in preventing him from ever wanting to
pull away or stray.

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E-Glow Texts work by letting him know how much you admire
his mind, looks, sexual performances, drive, attitude, and
dedication—the whole shebang! Again, make sure that what
you say is relevant and true. For instance, if you’re telling him
how good he is in bed and you haven’t had sex in months, then
he may get a bit fishy about where all these compliments are
coming from; you don’t want him to question the sincerity of
your words, but rather to absorb and bask in them. Be sure
to choose something that you truly believe he excels at and
make it the focus of your text. Just be honest, and speak from
the heart.

That said, you’ll want to avoid texting the obvious. For instance,
if your man has gorgeous brown eyes or an incredible body,
then chances are he has heard so before, and reading those
same words from you isn’t going to send him over the moon.
However, if you spice up your E-Glow Texts and write
something like, “I love staring into your chocolate eyes. They
melt me,” those descriptive words will do wonders for making
the ordinary extraordinary.

I cannot stress enough that detail is key here, because while

it’s one thing to tell a man he’s good-looking, telling him
specifically what makes him so attractive will stroke his ego
and get his heart racing. Just remember, guys like to feel like
the warrior in a relationship, so keep his manhood in mind
when sending these messages. The last thing you want to do is
send him something that’s going to make him feel emasculated.

Examples of E-Glow Texts:

I love you the way you are in this exact

moment, and I wouldn’t change a thing
about you.

You turn me on more than I ever thought

possible. I don’t know where you learnt
all those tricks, but I can’t wait to
discover more of them.

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 You carry yourself in such a way that just
being around you makes me a better
person. Your kindness towards others
is remarkable.

Big Bang Texts

here’s nothing like a bit of reminiscing to trigger old romantic
 T feelings. If you’re looking to bring back the fiery spark that
you and your man felt in the early days of your relationship,
there’s no better way than to recall a powerful memory you
shared and text it to him in full detail. Just like the Big Bang
theory is related to the early development of the universe, Big
Bang Texts should relate to the early development of your
relationship. However, there’s more to this than it seems.
Take, for example, the following two messages:

Hey, I was just thinking about our trip

to Italy.

vs.

I was just thinking about our amazing

trip to Italy. Dancing in that warm
rainstorm with you, and drinking that
sweet red wine on the terrace. Our wet
bodies pressed up tightly against one
another. Let’s go back.

See the difference?

The key to sending a successful Big Bang Text is to make it all-

encompassing and play on each of the senses. Where were you
in this memory you’re recalling? What were you doing? Was
there a particular smell or taste involved? Do you remember
what you were wearing? The more details you can include the
better, and the greater chance you’ll have at making your man
recall the memory in vivid detail. When he does, he’ll not only
feel like he’s falling in love all over again, but it’ll also keep him
wanting you and only you.

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 When you send him this kind of text, do so as if you’re
writing a novel and leave no detail unturned. Verbs are your
best friends here, so use words like “imagine,” “feel,” “think,”
“remember,” etc., and be sure to use expressive and sensual
language, too.

The memory you choose to play on is completely up to you;

just be sure it’s one that he’ll recall pleasantly. For example,
you could talk about your first date or wedding day, a trip
you went on, the birth of your child, or an unforgettable
sexual experience you shared—any memory of an experience
that strengthened your relationship and stirs up feelings of
passion, excitement, and nostalgia will work superbly.

On that note, it’s important to write up a draft or two of

the message you plan on sending before blasting it off his
way. This will help with choosing the most powerful and
appropriate words.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the kind of message where you can

plug in examples I provide, because they have to be based
on your own personal experiences. However, to give you
an idea of what your messages should look like, consider
these examples:

Remember the first time we went to your

cabin? Pressed shoulder to shoulder on
the back porch, we sat under the stars,
drinking wine and staring into each
other’s eyes. I was struggling to keep my
hands to myself when we finally decided
to go in for the night. As we stepped
through the doorway, only seconds had
passed before your lips were all over
my skin. The feeling was electrifying,
and neither of us could control what
happened next . . .

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 I was just thinking about our wedding
day. I was so nervous before seeing you;
the butterflies in my stomach could have
carried me away. As I walked towards the
doorway of the aisle, I was shaking while
I tried my best not to trip over my lacey
dress. The second you turned your head
and looked back at me, though, all the
fear and uncertainty I felt was washed
away and replaced with an overwhelming
sense of bliss and calmness. I knew in
that moment that the love we share will
last a lifetime. I love you so much.

Imagine we are back on the corner where

we shared our first kiss. Standing under
the pale streetlights, we stood mere
inches from one another. I looked up
at you, and in that moment our eyes
locked. As you put your hands on my
waist I trembled, and then like magic,
the rain started to fall, and our warm lips
pressed passionately together. I swear
that time stood still for us.

Seduction Texts
hat is the difference between Seductive Texts and
 W Tantalizing Texts? The answer is simple: time.

Since Tantalizing Texts enter the picture in the Dating stage

of a relationship, Seduction Texts are designed for when you
have been with your man for a longer period of time. Still, the
goal stays the same, and that is to turn him on and make him
sexually addicted to you. However, since you and your guy are
very comfortable and familiar with one another by this point
in the relationship, you’ll really want to up the ante in these
messages and explore an entire new world of arousal.

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Even though you can use one another’s known sexual
preferences and fantasies to keep your sex life alive, why
not spice things up and introduce some new ideas into your
routine? Of course, introducing these new suggestions face
to face can be awkward, but texting them is a great way to let
your man know that even after all this time, you still want him,
and you are open to exploring new sexual escapades with him.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that seductive texts have to be

serious, because you’d be surprised by how much fun it can
be to get playful with your words. Let your creative side shine,
and the more original you can be, the better. And don’t worry
about sounding foolish; your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband
will love the fact that you’re putting yourself out there.

Be sure to use detailed language and incorporate multiple

senses into your text messages. When you do, you’ll have him
feeling like the luckiest man on the planet.

Examples of Seduction Texts:

I had this insane dream about us last

night. When you get home from work, I
😉
want to relive it together.

I want to get naked with you right now

and explore each other’s bodies like it’s
the first time.

I learned about this new position that

I can’t wait to try with you. When you
come home tonight, I want to start in
bed . . . just FYI.

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Across the Universe Texts
efore the days of text messaging, the idea of being away
 B from your loved one was devastating. In today’s world, we
have the comfort of staying connected, even while we’re apart.

Texting to remind your guy of what’s waiting for him when he

gets home is a great way to keep the chemistry alive between
the two of you. Not only does it show him that you’re thinking
about him when you’re not together, but it also makes him
feel good about himself.

The key to sending these messages successfully is to be

unapologetically romantic. Don’t be afraid to say what you
are thinking, and when inspiration strikes, let him know how
you feel. Kicking the message off with “I miss you” or “I miss
your [ fill in the blank]” is a good start, but you want to build
anticipation and give him something to look forward to when
you see each other next. Across the Universe Texts should
make him feel like you would go the distance to be with him
in that very moment.

Examples of Across the Universe Texts:

I can still smell you on your pillow. I

know it’s hard being away from each
other, but it’s days like today that make
me realize how much I love you.

When you get home, I’m going to [fill in

the blank]

There’s not a cloud in the sky today, and

the birds are out singing. The only thing
that could make this morning more
beautiful would be having you here to
share it with me.

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Important tips to keep in mind while texting him
at this point in your relationship:
úú Think before you speak
This may seem obvious, but after being with your partner
for so long, it’s normal to become “too comfortable” with
one another and for words to just come spilling out in the
moment. To avoid any unnecessary drama with your guy,
make sure you keep your texting mentality as mindful as
it was when you first got together.

úú Relive the past

It’s so easy to get caught up in our daily lives, but if you
want your relationship to stay fresh and exciting, then it’s
important to send your man the sort of messages you did
when you first got together. “Text-talk” to him like you
did in the beginning of your relationship.

In part three of Text Chemistry, you will learn the exact texts
to send when you find yourself in particular situations.

81
 Part 3
What to Text
Him When . . .
A Look at Various Situations and Scenarios

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 congrats!
welcome
to part 3
Clic to play this video
in your browser

Y  our jetpack is ready! By this point in the book, you’re

loaded with Rocket Texts, and you understand why guys
text the way they do. Still, even with all these texts in
your artillery, you’re going to find yourself in unique situations
where you may not know what message to send his way.

The good news is that you’re not alone in this; in fact, there
are a handful of common situations and scenarios that women
find themselves in where they haven’t a clue what to say. After
all, a single text message can make or break your relationship,
or it can send your progress with him miles in the wrong
direction. This means that you’re going to want to put some
thought into your message.

In this section of Text Chemistry, we will tackle the most

common texting scenarios that women encounter, and you’ll
learn what to text your guy to keep your relationship on track
and running smoothly.

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When You Want to Invite Him Out
Without Sounding Clingy
hen you’ve been chatting with someone new or seeing
 W him regularly, it can be tough to not want him always by
your side. However, if you make this known to him, then you
risk killing his the opportunity to chase you. That said, there
are some classy ways you can ask him out so that he still feels
like he’s the one doing the chasing.

For example, by mentioning a fun event you’re attending

or a cool new hangout spot, you can then follow it up with
something like, “Why aren’t you here?” or “You should be here.”

The reason this works well is because it’s a playful message

that doesn’t straight up ask him to join you, which means he
won’t feel pressured to do so, and he won’t get the impression
that you’re being needy. Instead, it opens the doorway for him
to invite himself to join you.

Just be careful not to overuse this kind of text. If every time

you go out you’re firing one of these messages his way, then
he might get the feeling that you’re being clingy—and that’s
not the message you want to be sending him.

For example, here are two ways to indirectly invite him out:

I’m at an awesome party right now, this

place packed! Why aren’t you here?

This new night club is amazing, they

really nailed the vibe. You should
be here.

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When He Cancels Plans on You
ou’re getting ready for a big night out with the guy you’re
 Y into or have been seeing. As you excitedly fantasize about
how the evening will unfold, your phone goes off. Picking it
up, you see his name flash on the screen. Giddily opening the
text message, your feelings of euphoria quickly turn sour as
your mind processes his words: “Sorry, I can’t make it tonight.”
Perhaps there’s another line or two following those initial
words explaining his reasons for cancelling on you, or maybe
he’s cut the message short. Either way, the anguish you’re
feeling is very real and very apparent.

When it comes to responding to his message, there are a few

things you need to keep in mind. First and foremost, it’s important
that you don’t blast off an emotional or passive-aggressive
reply. Even though you may feel he’s being inconsiderate—or
maybe you want to beg for him to reconsider—do not do this.
Instead, take a few moments to cool your jets. Remember: it
may feel like the end of the world right now, but it’s not.

The next thing you’ll want to do is to compose a positive text

message that lets him know it’s fine that he can’t make it
tonight—again, this is easier said than done, especially when
you’re feeling disappointed.

The reason why you want him to think you’re okay with him
cancelling is two-fold. First, it shows him that you have other
things going on in your life, and seeing him isn’t the most
important thing to you. Second, it shows him that you’re
understanding and levelheaded. This is crucial, because even
if he’s hoping that you’ll be fine with the situation, he knows
there’s still a chance you’ll be upset with him. Instead of
being a Debbie Downer or Sour Susan, be a breath of fresh air
instead by acting empathetically. Believe me, this will take you

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far, and you can almost guarantee that your positive response
will make him smile and wish that he was seeing you.

As for your reply, it should be composed of the following

three parts:

1. Let him know that it’s fine that he is cancelling on you.

2. Let him know that you’re busy for the next few days.
3. Wish him well.

Even if you have nothing going on over the next few days, it’s
imperative that you say otherwise. Giving the impression that
your life is full and exciting is important because:

a) It’ll make you appear more interesting.

b) It will make him want to be a part of your fun lifestyle.
c) It will prevent him from worrying that you’ve sat around
waiting for him to come calling, which would otherwise
make you appear desperate.

Despite how tempted you may be to reschedule for the

following afternoon or evening, don’t. By making him wait at
least forty-eight hours after cancelling on you, you will keep
him interested, and you will stay on his mind.

Be sure that when you do see him next that you have
something exciting to share when he asks what you’ve been
up to; telling him that you’re too busy to meet up and then
having nothing to say when he asks about your week would
be incredibly awkward.

Lastly, if you decide that this isn’t the guy for you (maybe his
cancellation was the final straw in your books), keep your text
positive. Don’t blow up on him or tell him that you’re through
with him; that will make you look childish and dramatic. The
key is to always leave on a high note, even if you have no
intention of seeing him again.

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Here are specific examples of how to reply, depending on
the scenario:

ŨŨ When he tells you he’s “too busy” to make it:

Hey [insert name], that’s okay, I

understand that you’re busy. I also have
a lot going on these next few days, but
if you want to catch up this weekend I’m
available. I hope you have a good night!

ŨŨ When he tells you why he can’t make it:

No worries! I hope [insert whatever is

keeping him busy] goes well. I have
a lot going on this week, but maybe
we can catch up in a few days. Have a
great night!

ŨŨ When he doesn’t give you a reason for cancelling:

Don’t sweat it! I’m pretty busy these

next few days, but perhaps we can get
together sometime next week. I hope
you have a great night.

ŨŨ If you don’t want to suggest rescheduling:

No problem! I hope you have a

great night!

ŨŨ If he’s constantly cancelling on you

with little-to-no notice:

Hey [insert name], I’m bummed you can’t

make it, but I totally understand that you
have a lot going on. In the future, please
keep in mind that I’m busy too, and I
would appreciate it if you gave me more
notice when you have to cancel so I can
make other plans for myself. I hope you
have a great day.

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When You Have to Cancel on Him
s much as you may deny it, chances are there will
 A come a time when you have to cancel plans on the man
you’re into. Maybe you’ll know days ahead of time and be able
to give him plenty of notice, or maybe a roadblock will jump in
your way just hours before you’re supposed to meet up. When
it comes to cancelling plans on your guy, there are a few
things you’ll want to keep in mind.

The first is to be apologetic. You’ll want to make it known that

you respect his schedule, that you aren’t taking his time for
granted, and that you feel bad for cancelling on him.

Second, let him know why you can’t make it, or at least give
him a little insight into your change of plans. For instance,
receiving a message like, “Hey, sorry I can’t make it tonight”
is fine, but it leaves a lot of unanswered questions. On the
other hand, a message that reads, “Hey, sorry I can’t make it
tonight, an unexpected deadline popped up,” or “A friend is
in need of my help with an urgent situation,” or “I’m feeling
under the weather, and I don’t think I’d be great company”
will give him peace of mind, and he won’t be left wondering
why you’re blowing him off for the evening. Telling him why
you can’t make it also opens the doorway to an entirely new
texting conversation between the two of you.

Lastly, if you hope to reschedule your plans then suggest so,

and if possible, set a day to make up for it. Since you’re already
on the topic, it makes sense to talk about it then and there.
Just don’t be too pushy, and remain patient; understand that
he might not be able to give you a straight answer for future
plans at that very moment.

Here are examples of texts you can send when cancelling

your plans:

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 Hey, I’m really sorry, but I won’t be able
to do dinner tonight. A new deadline
popped up with work, so I’ll have to put
in extra hours to hit it. I would love to
reschedule though. How does Thursday
look for you?

Talk about bad timing: I woke up with the

worst fever this morning! Needless to
say, I won’t be able to meet you tonight.
I’m really sorry. I was looking forward to
our plans. Rain check for this weekend?

When He Gives You

Nothing to Work With
ou’ve probably had a text conversation like this before:
 Y How is your day going?

Good

Mine too! I finally finished that project

I’ve been working on, and I feel
so relieved!

Awesome

Just because he’s replying to your texts, it doesn’t mean

everything is clear sailing. In fact, keeping a conversation
alive over text can be tough, especially if he’s the king of one-
word responses and doesn’t give you much to go off of.

While getting past these texts and keeping the conversation

alive can feel like climbing Mount Everest, the good news is
that there is a sneaky way to beat around the bush and get
more from the man you’re messaging. The trick is to ask
specific questions that require more than a one-word answer—
or perhaps more importantly, to ask questions that will keep
him interested in the conversation.

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For example, instead of asking how his day is going, you could
ask what the best thing that happened to him that day was,
or you could ask him what he has planned for the upcoming
weekend. Judging by how he answers these questions, you’ll be
able to gauge whether or not he’s interested in you—meaning,
if he doesn’t respond, or if he sticks to short-nothings, then it
may be time to try a new approach. If he does give you a more
in-depth answer, then you can feed off of that material to
keep the conversation going.

For example:

What did you do with the rest of

your weekend?

I went to Rifflandia Festival

Sounds awesome, who did you see play?

Moby

Oh cool! I haven’t listened to him in ages.

What music are you listening to these
days? Anyone I should check out?

Don’t be afraid to strike up a texting game or send him YouTube

links to spice up the conversation. Something as simple as
sending him lyrics and asking him to guess the song can build
the connection between the two of you, and it will keep him
engaged in the conversation. If you can tell this is something
he enjoys, then you can suggest that you take turns doing so.

Another great way to pull him back into the conversation if

you feel it’s fizzled is to reference something the two of you
have already talked about, be it a movie, place, event, etc. Just
be sure you have something new to say about it, or he may
feel like your conversation has already run its course.

For example, you could write:

I finally checked out the new bar you

were telling me about . . . You’re right, it’s
so cool!

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When You Want Him to Initiate Texting
t goes without saying that asking the guy you’re into to text
I you more is going to make you sound clingy. We don’t want
that! Instead, there are subtle things you can do to show him
that you have a busy life, so if he wants to get through to you,
then he’s going to have to try a bit harder.

Believe it or not, by simply making a point to let some time

pass before responding to his texts, or by setting “no response”
periods while you work or focus on other things that are
important to you, you will show him that your time is in high
demand, so if he wants to communicate with you, then he’s
going to have to put in more effort when it comes to striking
up a text conversation. This may sound counterproductive,
but by giving him space to pursue you, it’ll not only feed his
desire to do so, but it will also let him know that you won’t
always be the one reaching out to him.

When he does text you, it’s important that you let him know
what a positive impact his text has made on your day. Doing
so will make him feel appreciated and want to text more. On
that note, make sure you don’t give him the impression that
your happiness is 100% linked to him; instead, mention how
your day has been going great, but hearing from him is the
icing on the cake.

For example:

I had a great day today, and hearing from

you made it even better.

Just when I thought my day couldn’t get

any better, you texted me!

So great hearing from you, I hope your

day has been going as awesome as mine.

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101
When He Asks Inappropriate
Questions or for Nude Photos
t takes a certain kind of confidence to ask a woman sexual
I questions or for naked photos of herself, but surprisingly,
this happens more than you may imagine. If you find yourself
in this situation, you may start to panic. On the one hand, you
want to be the kind of woman who is carefree and fun—the
kind with a zest for life who is open to exploring new things
and being sexually adventurous. On the other hand, you don’t
want to give out the goods just because some guy you’ve
been messaging asks for them. Besides, if he doesn’t have
to work hard for it, then why wouldn’t he assume that you
send those private pictures to any man who asks? Or maybe
you’re indifferent to the idea, but you just feel uncomfortable
taking a naked photo of yourself, or you worry what he’ll think
of you.

Regardless of how you feel about the idea, a good rule of

thumb is to not send him anything that you wouldn’t want
anyone else to see. Let’s face it: all it takes is for a relationship
to turn sour, then before you know it your privates are all over
the internet and in the pockets of all his buddies.

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While this seems like a smart rule to follow—a no-brainer,
even—the reality is that you may find yourself so smitten
and sure of someone that you have absolutely no fear about
him sharing your photos with others. In that case, you may
consider sending a sexy shot his way . . . but how much is
too much? How do you keep him interested without seeming
square? How do you deny him photos without worrying that
he’ll move on to the next woman on his phone list? The answer
is simple: you do so with poise.

By showing him your confident, elegant, and dignified side,

you’ll have him hooked with mere words. Don’t be afraid to
be a bit clever, too. If your reply can make him laugh, then that
may be even more impactful than a photo of you sprawled out
naked on the bed.

If he asks while you’re still

getting to know each other:

Let’s say the guy you’re into sends you a text asking what
you’re doing, and you say that you’re in bed. Then he follows
up by asking you what you’re wearing, or he’s more direct and
requests that you send him a photo. What do you do?

The way I see it, you have three options:

1. You can get angry and tell him that he’s being a pig, or to
grow up.
2. You can passively laugh it off and come up with some
lame excuse for why you can’t send him a photo, like “It’s
too dark,” or “My camera isn’t working.”
3. You can send him a respectable response that reveals
your standards (while still giving him hope) by telling him
that it’s not something you’re against doing or discussing
in the future.

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For example, you can say:

I’d love to answer that question, but

I think you owe me a few more dates
😉
first.

I’d send you a photo, but that’s seems

like something for down the road.

However you want to word it, the point is to tell him that you’re
not angry or against his sexual messages, but that you’re also
not ready to play along. When done properly, this will not only
make him respect you, but it will also show him that you’re
confident and encourage him to stick around, because he’ll
realize that you are into him.

This strategy can be used to reply to pretty much any sexual

message he might send you. Even if he just makes a comment
of a sexual nature, you can still respond in a way that will let
him know that you’re not ready for those types of messages yet.

If the guy is a bit of a joker or has a good sense of humor, then

you could also opt for the witty solution and send him a photo
of the word “nude,” or a hilarious picture from the web. For
some creative inspiration, just search the internet; from
hairless cats to boobies (the bird type), there’s a plethora
of ideas on there—surely something that will make you
both laugh.

If he asks for nudes when you’re

in a relationship with him:

Just because you’ve been dating someone for a while, it doesn’t

mean you owe him anything that you’re not comfortable with,
so despite the pressure, don’t feel like you have to send him
nude photos or respond sexually to his messages.

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However, instead of shooting his request down, combat it
with your own sexual message. For example:

I could send you naked photos, but

instead I’ll make you wait until you come
over tonight.

I’m going to be mean and make you hold

out until you see me later. Unless you
don’t want the real deal?😉
Sure, he might be disappointed that you’re denying his
request, but it will also give him something even better to
look forward to, and he’ll love that you’re playing along in your
own way. Just be sure not to make any promises you don’t feel
ready to keep; if you tell him that he’ll get lucky tonight, then
it’s best to make a point to do the deed. If you keep stringing
him along with sexual promises that go unfulfilled, then he
may start looking elsewhere to get his jollies.

If he asks for nudes when you’ve

been together for the long haul:

If you’ve been with your man long enough to trust that he won’t
show your nude photos to others, then you may want to give
the guy what he asks for—if (and only if!) you’re comfortable
doing so!

That said, you may still choose to keep your photo classy,
meaning you don’t show everything, but instead just give
him a bit of a tease. Doing so will not only keep him wanting
more, but it will also protect you should the relationship end
poorly. If you need some inspiration, consider going for a pin-
up girl look or channel your inner Marilyn Monroe. After all,
there’s a reason why those old photos are still an iconic part
of today’s pop culture: they’re tasteful.

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If He Sends You Unsolicited
Nude Photos
or whatever reason, some men believe that sending
 F photos of their junk is a good idea, and that women “like
it.” While that may be the case for a few ladies, in most cases
opening up your phone to a close-up of a pecker is alarming—
or even upsetting.

Sure, your natural reaction may be to erupt, call him a “pig,” or

even shame him for sending you such an image, but if you’re
romantically interested in the owner of the one-eyed trouser
snake, then you’re going to want to take a deep breath and
think about your response before reacting.

If he sends you a sexual photo while

you’re still getting to know each other:

Beware! If the guy you’re sizing up for love is sending you

this sort of photo in the early stages of getting to know one
another, then you can assume a few things.

First, he’s pushing sex on you—and fast! No matter how

attracted to you he may be, or how sexually explosive he’s
feeling, there’s never a good excuse to be sending you dick pics
at this point in a relationship. It’s obnoxious and disrespectful
of him.

Second, you can almost bet that you’re not the only woman
on the receiving end of this message. Think about it: if he’s
trying this with you at this stage, then chances are you’re not
his only victim. Never should you feel the need to play off this
kind of text or accept it for what it is. Instead, make it known

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that you don’t appreciate opening your phone to a photo
of a ding-dong that you don’t even know.

Make note: Do not include “haha” or “LOL” in your response.

He’ll either think that you’re making fun of his manhood, or
that you’re jokingly asking for him to stop. Be stern and stand
your ground, respectfully.

Here’s what you can write:

I’m assuming you meant to send me that

photo, but I really don’t think that we’re
at a point where that’s okay. Not to be
rude, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t
send those kinds of photos.

Ahhh, I don’t think we’re at this stage yet.

If he sends you a sexual photo

while you’re dating:

Unlike in the first scenario, if the guy you’re dating sends

you a dick pic, then your reaction could go one of two ways.
You could still feel it’s too soon to be seeing such a sight, or
you could roll with it and use his photo as a launchpad for
some sexy texting between the two of you.

If you choose to accept his unsolicited nudes, then you can

almost expect him to ask you to return the favor with your
own frisky photo. When he does, don’t get upset. After all, you
made it seem like it was okay to do so.

You can write:

Babe, I’m really into you and like where

we’re heading, but I don’t think I’m ready
for those kinds of texts just yet. Be
patient with me?

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 The things I’m going to do to you later . . .

If he sends you a sexual photo after

you’ve been together for years:

All’s fair in love and war. At this point in the game, if things are
going well, you should be accepting of your guy’s attempts to
turn up the heat between the two of you.

If sending these types of texts is new to him, be kind. Chances

are he’s going out on a whim to reignite the fire between you,
so laughing off his advances, getting angry, or turning him
down won’t encourage him to try again in the future.

Even if you’re not into this kind of messaging, acknowledge

his text, and do so kindly. Even if you’re not feeling it, be nice
via text and then talk about it face to face.

You can write:

I love every bit of you. I can’t wait to see

you later.

Oh wow! Does that mean I get even more

of you tonight?

When He Seems Interested

in Another Woman
This situation sucks—simple as that. On the one hand, you
want to be the happy-go-lucky gal he fell for in the first place,
but on the inside you’re sulking and feeling hurt. The key here
is to kick those feelings to the curb. If you feel like your man
may be interested in someone else, then you’re going to have

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to put on some war paint and pull him back in—especially if
he’s worth fighting for!

This doesn’t mean you should send him anything that will give
him the impression you’re thinking he’s into someone else;
instead, you should show him your best self. To do so, you’re
going to want to send him the kind of superstar messages
that will reel him back in and make him forget about any other
woman. This is where the Satellite Texts that you learned
about in part two come in handy, but the difference between
that scenario and this is that you have someone else fighting
for his attention, as well (or at least you think you do).

When you do text him, keep your messages simple and

sweet. If you say too much, then he may start to think that
you’re grasping for his attention—and no man is going to
choose a clingy woman over someone who is fun and carefree.
At the core of your message, you want him to be happy to
hear from you, so send him the kind of text that will keep him
thinking about you long after you’ve hit send.

If you’re still getting to know each other:

The secret is to act unfazed by the fact that you think he

may be interested in someone else. If you show your feelings
of jealousy or act insecurely, then it’ll only give him more
of a reason to stray. Instead, you need to be your boldest,
most life-loving self to make him feel like he’s the one missing
out by not investing more time and energy in you.

When you do text, make it known that you’re busy living an

awesome life. Even if you have nothing going on, make it known
that you’ve had the best day ever. Positivity is contagious, and
it will make him want to hear from you more often.

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Of course, it’s easy to spot a liar, so you should actually
make a point to keep active and practice optimism. Find
reasons to be happy each day and enjoy the little things,
like a fresh cup of coffee or a warm summer breeze. Putting
yourself out there and being social with others is helpful not
only for staying busy, but also for building the type of outgoing
attitude that will captivate any man.

For example:

How was your weekend?

It was good! I went to a great party and

met some cool new people! Yours?
I’m going to grab a coffee with Tiffany
after work.

Right on! I’m hitting a hot yoga class

tonight. I can’t wait to give my body a
nice good stretch!

If you’re exclusively dating:

Unlike in the first scenario, at this point in the relationship,

your guy’s interest in other women is going to affect you
differently than if he was still single and mingling. Another
key difference is that he’s going to have a better idea of your
lifestyle and schedule, meaning he’ll likely know if you’re
fibbing about keeping busy when in fact you haven’t left the
house in days.

What you’ll want to do here is genuinely find ways to be happy.

Again, it can be easy to let your emotions get the best of you,
but if you let sadness swallow you, then you’ll find yourself
in a vicious circle: being sad because you can’t get pull him
back in, and not being able to pull him back in because you
are sad.

100
Yes, you may feel down if you think that his attention is drifting
to someone new, but by being his breath of fresh air, you’ll
keep him hooked and coming back for more. Big Bang Texts
work wonders for pulling him back in if you feel he’s starting
to stray.

Here’s what you can write in this situation:

Hey babe, I just wanted to let you know

how wonderful I think you are, and how
lucky I feel to have you in my life.

I was just thinking about our camping

trip to Salt Spring Island. Even though we
nearly got blown away in that rainstorm,
I loved every minute of being there with
you. Cuddling in the tent at night to keep
warm was magical.

If you’ve been together for years:

If you’ve been together a long time, you’re going to want to

remind your man how lucky he is to have you. The trick for
doing so is to show rather than tell.

No matter how tempted you may be to cry about how you

feel he’s into someone else, don’t. If you do, you’ll only look
desperate, which is not a good look for keeping him interested.

Since the two of you have likely been through a lot together at
this point in your relationship, it is okay to address the issue if
you feel it’s not getting better on its own. If you do so through
text, be sure to choose your words wisely. You don’t want to
get angry or upset with him, but rather clearly express how
you feel and ask to discuss the issue in person. Be prepared
for him to get a bit defensive, and you must avoid reacting to
his shield.

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 You can write something like:

This isn’t easy for me to admit, but I feel

that lately you seem pretty into [insert
name]. I don’t mean to come across as
jealous, but I just don’t want to lose you
or hurt the relationship that we’ve built
over the years. Can we talk more about
this later? I love you.

I hate to say it, but I’m worried your

interest in our relationship is waning.
Can we please talk things through when
you get home tonight? What we have is
too special to lose. I love you.

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101
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your man
When You Feel Like You’re
Being Friend-Zoned
h, the dreaded friend zone. This is a place no woman
O wants to find herself once romantic feelings have
developed. The unfortunate truth is that it’s not uncommon
for guys to change their minds and feelings towards a person
or relationship, and when they do, they may have a hard time
admitting it.

102
Thus, they take the “easy route”; instead of being honest
about their feelings, they may choose to start treating you
like “one of the guys” or “just a friend” in hopes that you’ll take
the hint and set them free. Of course, this is far from ideal, but
it’s a pretty familiar scenario in the dating world.

If you find yourself in this situation, then your goal is to increase

the level of attraction he feels for you. As contradictory as it
sounds, an easy way to accomplish this is to pull back a bit
and give him a chance to miss you—a taste of life without you.
Instead of sticking by his side and accepting your new role as
one of his pals, you need to set the bar and show him that you
won’t settle for less than a romantic relationship.

This can be a scary thing to do, especially if you feel like he’s
pushing you out the door. But believe it or not, when you stop
texting him and become less available, you become “harder to
get,” which creates a bit of a challenge (or chase) for him. Since
you won’t be as present in his life, he will start to question
what you’re up to, and this kind of mystery will do wonders for
reigniting a spark and making him want you again.

When you’re still getting to know each other:

When you do text him, keep your messages short and

purposeful. No guy likes receiving senseless rambles from
women—and besides, that’s what your own girlfriends are for.
Instead, keep your texts to a minimum, but don’t fall off the
face of the earth, either. You’re going to want to come up with
clever “reasons” to message him.

When you do text him, make sure that your message will stir
up some sort of positive emotion in him; maybe it makes him
smile and feel lucky to have you, or maybe it slyly turns him
on and makes him want you as more than a friend. Again, the

103
trick is to avoid sending him texts that will make him cringe or
feel reluctant to respond to you.

For example:

Hey, I heard tickets for Alt-J go on sale

tomorrow morning. I just wanted to
give you a heads up ‘cause I remember
you mentioned wanting to go, and it’ll
probably sell out pretty quickly. Hope
you get some!

Feel like joining me for some adult grape

juice this weekend?

When you’re dating:

There’s a fine line between being lovers and being friends. The
good news is that what you choose to text him can play a big
part in defining the relationship you share.

If you’re worried that your boyfriend is trying to get out of the

relationship, then you’re going to want to make yourself seem
like the best part of his life. This may sound like a challenge,
but with the right messages, you’ll have him questioning why
he even considered ending things with you.

The secret is to send him the kind of texts that will make him
laugh or feel good about himself—ones that will urge him to
respond to you and have him checking his phone to see if
you’ve replied yet. Flight Texts work great here, since they
give him a temporary escape from his daily routine and get
him to interact with you in a make-believe world that just
the two of you share. Tantalizing Texts can also be helpful in
getting him thinking about you in a seductive way.

104
Just be careful not to come on too strongly. If he gets the
impression that you’re grasping to pull him back in, then he
may cut the cord and end things. Be subtle.

For example:

So, I was just thinking . . . If you knew the

world was ending tomorrow, what would
you do today?

Hey handsome, how is your day going?

I’m about to take a nice hot shower. Care
to join?😉

If you’ve been together for years:

Friend-zoning will be really challenging at this stage

in a relationship. If he’s messaging you as a friend, it’s because
he truly sees you as such. Instead of considering this a bad
thing, embrace it. Men want to be with someone they can
share all their thoughts and feelings with, so if you’re lucky
enough to be the one getting texts about the score of the
game, or if you’re the one he’s talking to about the sandwich
he’s eating, then consider yourself honored.

That said, if you feel that the romance has been completely
replaced with friendly banter, then you may want to address
the issue and make it known that as much as you love getting
the scoop on the things he’s into, you miss his sweet, romantic
side, too.

Here’s how you can communicate this:

Babe, as much as I love hearing about

[insert topic], I’m starting to miss the
whole wooing game. Think we can spice
things up a bit?

105
 Oh darlin’, I must say that I love how
determined you are to get me into
football. I’ll make you a deal—I’ll
genuinely start rooting for your team if
you agree to send me sweet nothings
again. I miss those!😉

When He Takes a While to Respond

e’ve all felt the urge to relentlessly message the guy we’re
 W into. But have you ever stopped dead in your tracks with
worry that you’ll sound clingy, or if he’ll question whether
you’re over-texting him?

If you’re worried about this sort of thing, then chances are

it’s because you’ve been messaging him on more than a 1:1
ratio—meaning, he’s not responding at the same rate as you’re
texting. A good first step is to pull back a bit; as tempting as it
may be, don’t text him.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but if he’s not

responding to you, then it’s likely for a reason. Perhaps he’s
busy with other things, or maybe he just doesn’t feel like
responding right then and there. No matter the reason for his
silence, it’s important that you don’t press him with texts.

Consider this for a moment. Let’s say you’re in the middle

of an important meeting, and you feel your phone vibrate.
You glance down and see it’s a text from the guy you’re into.
Unable to read his message, you tuck your phone away and
tell yourself that you’ll check it later. Then it goes off again . .
. and again. At this point, your mood has likely switched from
enamored to annoyed, and you’re screaming internally, What
is your problem? Chill out!

The point is that no one wants to be bombarded with messages,

so if he’s taking a while to respond to you, let him be. When he

106
does get around to texting you, it will be because he wants to,
and not because you’ve pressured him into doing so.

However, if you do feel like enough time has passed between

messages, then you’ll want to send him the kind of message
that will grab his attention and give him a reason to reply.

Here are examples based on different scenarios.

ŨŨ If you’re still getting to know each other and

days have passed since hearing from him:

Hey! How’s your week going? Any plans

for the weekend?

ŨŨ If you’re dating and hours have

passed since hearing from him:

You must be having a super busy day, I

hope it’s a good one! I just wanted to let
you know that I’m thinking about you and
can’t wait to see you.

ŨŨ If you’ve been together for a while and he

hasn’t replied to your texts all day:

If you see my man, please let him know

that I’m missing him and cannot wait to
hear all about his day later.

When You See He’s Typing

but It Suddenly Stops
eeing the “. . .” bubble on your phone disappear can be
 Sinfuriating, but as tempted as you are to send a “?” or ask
him to continue typing, don’t. Doing so will tell him that
you’ve been staring at your screen waiting for his reply, which
will make you seem like you have nothing better going on.

107
In other words, you’ll appear boring—and no one wants to
date a boring person.

Instead of begging for a response, simply leave it be and wait

for him to reply. When he does get back to you, don’t question
what took so long, but rather be positive and move on. For all
you know, he was busy or unable to finish his reply at the time.
Be calm and stay cool.

If you see the helpful but oftentimes infuriating “Message

Seen” note under your latest text to him and he doesn’t reply,
then you may feel your blood start to boil. Again, give him
time to get back to you, but if days pass, then you might want
to send a gentle nudge his way. In this case you can text him:

Hey! Just wondering if you got my text

about [insert topic]. There’s a good story
to follow!

Did you have a chance to think about the

text I sent the other day? I’m curious to
hear your thoughts!

These messages work well because they kindly remind him

that he never replied to you without biting his head off about
it. At this point, he’ll either get back to you when he reads
your text, or he’ll again keep quiet. If he doesn’t reply, then it
might be time to take the hint and move on.

When He “Ghosts” You

ou may or may not have heard the term “ghosting” before,
 Ybut as defined by Urban Dictionary, it’s “the act of suddenly
ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating,
but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the
ghostee will just ‘get the hint’ and leave the subject alone,

108
as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no
longer interested.”

Of course, ghosting speaks volumes about a person’s maturity

and communication skills, yet oftentimes people try to justify
it by saying they did so to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. In
reality, however, pulling a disappearing act can be even more
emotionally damaging than simply being upfront and honest
about feelings.

If the man you’ve been texting gets cold towards you, or if he

goes completely MIA, then your natural reaction may be to get
angry with him. However, instead of letting the situation get
the best of you, take the high road and let him be. Yes, this is
easier said than done, and some women need closure before
moving on. If you can relate to this, then you may choose to
text him the following:

It’s too bad our plans never came to be,

I think we would have had fun. It’s been
great getting to know you, but in truth
I’m looking for someone who has time for
me. I wish you the best!

This gives you the peace of mind in knowing that you got
to voice your feelings, but it also shows him that you have
expectations and you won’t be left eating his dust. Better yet,
he may even find your approach admirable and come calling
again. If he does, then you’ll have to weigh the pros and cons
to decide if taking another chance on a “ghoster” is really
worth it to you.

When You Want to Flirt in Text

hen it comes to texting men, flirting is one of the most
 W important skills you can master. Since you’re not able to
use your body language or tone of voice to your advantage,

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you need to craft messages that ooze with an undeniable
sense of flirtation.

To properly flirt in texts, there are a few important points

to keep in mind. First off, don’t be nice. I know this sounds
absurd, but being nice has its time and place, and if you’re
looking to flirt, then texting in this manner won’t pack the
same punch as being frisky and playful with the guy you’re
messaging. For instance, texting something like “I really
admire your passion for what you believe in” is going to
send a totally different message than, “Can you please stop
keeping me up all night? K thanks! ;)”

Instead, you need to start with some playful banter. Say

some fun things to get you on his mind, and then leave him
hanging. The more creative you can be here the better, and
your opening is what you should really focus on; after all, if
you can’t get him interested off the bat, then you’re going to
have a hard time keeping him engaged.

To get you started, come up with a message that you know no

one else is sending him; this kind of originality will pique his
interest and be refreshing to read. Maybe it’s a witty remark,
or maybe it’s a quick joke to make him laugh. Whatever you
choose, make sure your message is short, sharp, and saucy.

Another easy way to flirt through text is to tease him. By

merrily poking fun at him, it’ll open the gateway for him to do
the same to you. Just be sure that you don’t go too far with
this one; the last thing you want to do is offend him. Make sure
that whatever you choose to use as your topic for teasing isn’t
too obnoxious or controversial. If you pull this off properly,
it’ll show him that you don’t take life too seriously, and that
you like to laugh. For example, if you can come up with a goofy
nickname for him based on something he likes, then this is
the time to use it. Just be sure to include a winking face at the
end of your message so he knows you’re joking with him.

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Lastly, if you can find subtle ways to flirtatiously arouse your
guy through text, do it! Again, keep it lighthearted and fun,
and always leave room for him to flirt back. As frisky as you
may want to get here, avoid sending him anything too sexual
too soon. Leaving something to his imagination will build
tension, and he’ll love the confidence you’re showing.

Here are examples based on different scenarios:

ŨŨ When you’re getting to know each other:

I just want to be upfront and say that I

visually enjoy you.

Me. You. Drinks. Saturday.

ŨŨ When you’re exclusively dating each other:

Can I have you for breakfast in

bed today?

You’re lucky you’re so cute. That’s why I

keep you around.

ŨŨ When you’ve been together for a long period of time:

Come home and play with me 😉

OMG, you were amazing last night. Round
two later?

When You Think He’s Upset with You

N  o relationship is perfect. At some point or another, you’re
bound to get under your guy’s skin. When this happens,
you may feel like the entire world is falling apart. Rest assured:
it’s not.

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Obviously, the reasoning behind why your man is upset will
play a big part in what you text him, but if you’re looking to
patch things up with him through text, then you’re going to
want to do a few things.

First and foremost, you need to be kind. No matter how

stubborn you feel he’s being, or how annoyed you may be,
sending him angry or aggressive text messages won’t do you
any favors. Instead, you may have to bite your tongue a bit.

Again, depending on your personal situation, you may choose

to address the actual problem in text—or you may not. If
you feel like talking about it through texts is going to open
up a whole new can of worms or make the issue grow tenfold,
then avoid doing so. Instead, a simple apology will work fine
here. On the other hand, if you feel solely responsible for the
issue—for example, say you overreacted or said something
unfair or out of line—then you may want to take the blame
and apologize.

Consider the following two approaches:

77 What not to send:

I cannot believe you just blew up on me

like that. You’re such a jerk sometimes.

Great. Now my day is ruined.

ūū What to send:

Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. I hope you

have a great day. Let’s catch up later on.

I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry

for what happened earlier. I’ve been
really stressed lately, and you got the
brunt of it. I shouldn’t have spoken to
you that way. Forgive me?

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 Hey there, I just wanted to let you know
that I’m sorry for what happened earlier.
I shouldn’t have said those things to you,
and even though I didn’t act like it, I want
you to know how much you mean to me.

When You Think He’s

Misinterpreting Your Texts
et’s talk about tone again. Since it’s tough to always
 L understand what a text is meant to convey, it’s important
that you don’t read too far into a message or jump to any
conclusions when unsure of its meaning.

When you feel tension growing between you and the guy
you’re texting, it’s important that you stop the conversation
dead in its tracks. If you continue to try and explain yourself
through text when you have different interpretations of the
same situation, it can make an even bigger mess. Instead, pick
up the phone and make a call, or suggest that you continue
the chat in person. If neither of these are options at the time,
then send your man something like this:

I’m not trying to cut the conversation

short, but I get the feeling that we may
be misunderstanding one another. Can I
call you quickly to explain?

It’s so easy to misinterpret text

messages, and I think that may be the
case here. Let’s finish this conversation
in person later 🙂
Sending your guy this kind of message will show him that
you care about the relationship enough to put a conversation
on hold to avoid confusion. He’ll appreciate that you’re more
concerned with clarity than urgency.

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When He’s Had a Rough Day
ife is a merry-go-round, and we all have our share of ups
 L and downs. When you’ve had a bad day, there’s no better
feeling than receiving comfort from someone. If you can
be your guy’s someone—the one who makes him feel better
after a long, hard day—then you can almost guarantee that
he’ll want to be with you.

Since most guys don’t like talking about their emotions, if

he feels comfortable enough to let his guard down with you,
then consider yourself lucky and don’t take this position for
granted. After all, if you brush aside his feelings and instead
ramble on about your own problems, then guess what? He’s
not going to keep opening up to you, and it may even give
him a bad taste in his mouth when it comes to thinking about
you as a potential partner.

Instead, be his rock. Send him some pick-me-up texts when

you know that he’s seen better days. Showing your support
through a text message can be just as effective as being in the
same room as him. Compliments work well here.

For example:

I know you’ve had a rough day today, but

the sun will come out tomorrow, and I
still think you’re wonderful.

It sounds like you’ve had quite the day.

I’m here if you want to vent about it
some more. Believe me, I know how good
it feels to get it all out.

One door closes and another door opens.

Don’t focus on what you’ve lost, but
instead think about all that you can gain.
I believe in you.

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When You Want Him to Comfort You
hether you woke up on the wrong side of the bed or
 W your day went downhill once you arrived at the office,
sometimes you need a virtual hug from the man you care
about. At the same time, asking for comfort doesn’t seem to
have the same effect as receiving it naturally, and nagging or
begging him to do so is only going to make you look needy
and fell crappy.

If you’re looking for your guy to text you some genuine TLC,
then there are some subtle ways to go about getting it from
him. By casually mentioning that you’ve had a tough day and
then following it up with a subtle ego stroke, he’ll be more
than happy to fire some loving words your way.

For example, you could send him:

It’s been a rough day! I could totally use

one of your awesome hugs right now.

Today is not my day, here’s hoping

the sun comes out tomorrow! In the
meantime, I could totally use a backrub
to make it all better.

These messages work beautifully because they tell him that

your day hasn’t been the greatest without dragging on about
all the things that have been going wrong; as crazy as he
may be about you, he doesn’t need to receive an overload
of negativity. Even more importantly, these messages let
him know that he’s capable of improving your day, which is
something he’ll love hearing.

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When He Sends You Drunk Texts
hether you’ve been on the sending or receiving side
 W of drunk texts, chances are you know how messy they
can be. From spilling your heart out to callous, unprovoked
callouts, there’s no predicting what kind of sloppy message
will come after one too many bevvies.

When it comes to texting, you should never message the

guy you’re into when you’re drunk. Of course, if you’ve been
together for years then yes, it’s likely to happen over time, but
if you’re in the early stages of getting to know one another,
or if you’re newly coupled up, then at all costs avoid texting
him when intoxicated. Doing so will save you an awkward
conversation once you’ve sobered up.

If your man sends you drunk text messages, then the best thing
you can do is ignore them. Trying to answer his drunken texts
is complicated, because it could cause problems between the
two of you—especially if he misinterprets your messages.

However, if you do feel the need to respond to him, then you’ll

want to keep your messages short and sweet. If you can send
him something that will make him smile in his intoxicated
state, then you’ll be on his mind for the rest of the evening.
Contrary to that, if you try to find reason in his messages, or
if you express frustration or disapproval over his decision to
drink, then your texting conversation is bound to get grim.
You’ll suffer too if you expect him to answer a slew of serious
texts once he’s tanked.

Simply put, if you hope to have any sort of rational conversation

with him when he’s drunk, then you’re setting yourself up for
disappointment, and you may even find he blows off your texts.
Don’t take it personally; instead, let him enjoy his drunken
stupor. He’ll come around in the morning.
•••••

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 In Closing

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Y ou’ve done it—congratulations! You’re destined for the
stars . . . or rather, an amazing relationship with a great
guy who is absolutely crazy about you.

Since it’s easy to get on a roll when texting the man you’re
into—especially if he’s hanging off your every text—it’s
important that you make a conscious effort to keep on track
with the texts you send him. This means that you’ll want to
avoid saying anything too heavy too soon, or too often. If
you become addicted to messaging him, then you could find
yourself in an ugly position where he blows you off or feels
like you’ve become too clingy. You don’t want this—so don’t
risk it.

Instead, no matter what relationship stage you’re in, you’ll

want to keep your text messages simple, straightforward, and
positive. Don’t be afraid to let your true colors shine bright,
and have fun with your messages. When he opens up to you
about what’s on his mind or what’s bringing him down, listen
to him and let him know that you’re there for him. Don’t hog
the conversation or brush off his words; instead, be honored
that you’re the person he’s turning to.

When he doesn’t respond to your texts quickly enough, give

him the benefit of the doubt; understand that life gets in the
way sometimes, and that he doesn’t “owe it to you” to drop
what he’s doing to check his phone. Give him space to pursue
you, and remember: if you’re constantly shooting texts his
way, then they will start to lose their magic. Instead, don’t be
afraid to hold back a bit, and when you do text him, send the
kind of messages that will leave him smiling at his phone.

The words you type have the power to shape your future.
Choose them wisely, and refer to Text Chemistry when you
need to.

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