I turned the key and opened the door.

While crossing the threshold, I sat the box I was

carrying on the floor. “My first house”, I thought to myself. I still can’t believe I bought

a house, the first major thing I have done since my split with Keith. I had spent the last

five years living with Keith Anderson and the first four and a half years were wonderful.

The perfect relationship, or so I thought, before everything started to fall apart six months

ago when he asked me to marry him. I was deliriously happy and started planning our

wedding.

As each week passed, Keith seemed to get more and more distant and I assumed it was

the stress of the wedding; but I was wrong. I found out that Keith started seeing a co-

worker behind my back while telling me he had to work late or go out with the guys. I

put up with this for two months, even though I knew what he was doing. I prayed he

would eventually come around and decide he wanted to stay with me.

I tried to stick it out because damn it, I had invested five years with that man. After

three months he did finally decide he had made a mistake and still wanted to get married.

It was I who just couldn’t make it work because I just could not trust him anymore.

Every time I looked into his eyes it brought back all the pain. I just couldn’t take the

chance of him doing it to me again. I had to think of me and distance myself, which is

why I decided to move.

I came up with a plan, but before I could leave I had to find a job. I would jump into my

car and drive nowhere in particular, come across a small town and buy a paper. I would

search the classifieds, all the while still making Keith believe that I wanted to stay

together. Nurses are in demand so it didn’t take long for me to find a job. It only took

1
thirty-two days from the time I decided to move, to the date I closed on my house. I

hoped I was doing the right thing and had not been too hasty or let my pain lead me in a

direction I would later regret.

When Keith’s job took him away for three days this past week I made my move. I

packed my belongings, loaded my car and arranged for a mover. It only took two days to

pack up the last five years of my life. It hurt to see that my life with Keith could be

broken down into “mine” and “his” so easily. The third day I spent with the movers and

saying goodbye to my few friends. I hate saying goodbye but honestly I didn’t have any

close friends due to Keith and I spending every free moment together. Since I didn’t

want Keith to be able to find me, I asked everyone to keep my location a secret. When

Keith gets home he will now find a half empty house and a Dear John letter. I know that

is a terrible way to leave it, but I couldn’t take the chance of caving in.

“So here we are” I said out loud as I opened the box and pulled out my cat

Tinkerbelle. Tink was a smoky calico with mostly two tone gray fur and tan spots that

looked pink in the right light.

I nuzzled her up to my face and whispered in her ear, “welcome home.”

I looked around the room and saw that the movers had already delivered my furniture

and boxes. I had labeled all the boxes with the name of the room and pinned tags to

every large piece of furniture. Thanks to an added two hundred dollars, the movers put

everything in the correct location. Thank goodness for movers with strong backs. I was

alone and knew I couldn’t move the things by myself.

I put Tink down and walked slowly through my house. The living room was small but

cozy with a large picture window facing the road. I walked into the kitchen to eat. This

2
room was just large enough to put a table for four against one wall. In between the

kitchen and the living room is a stairway leading to the ½ story of the house. Back a

short hall are the two bedrooms. The larger bedroom is in the front of the house facing

the road and the smaller room is in the back of the house. Between the bedrooms is a

bathroom. Just the perfect sized house for me. I called Tink and placed her into the

smaller bedroom, this one will be hers, and closed the door. I still had some things left

in the car and I didn’t want to chance her getting out.

I went out to the car and grabbed the remainder of my boxes. I carried the fast food

and groceries to the kitchen. In another trip I carried all the toiletries to the bathroom. I

freed Tink from her room and went to the kitchen to get my burger and fries. I found my

hand crank can opener in one of my boxes and opened a can of food for Tink. I placed

her bowl of food and some fresh water on the floor. I took my bag to the living room and

sat on the sofa. I looked around. The cleaning crew I had hired did a good job. The

house had been empty for five years now (what a coincidence, just as long as my

relationship with Keith) and was in desperate need of a good cleaning. Since I was

moving on the sly I couldn’t spend time cleaning. Keith would have wondered what I

was doing.

They aired all the rooms out and washed every surface in the house. I could still smell

the orange scented cleaner. All of the utilities had been turned on in time for the

marathon cleaning session. The exterminator, my personal hero, had been here and rid

the home of the vermin that had taken up residence. I just couldn’t stand the idea of even

a spider sharing the house with Tink and me. So, I was sitting here in a clean home with

3
what looked like a million boxes stacked on every flat surface. I chuckled to myself, too

bad I couldn’t pay someone to unpack for me.

After my lunch of a burger, fries and a tea, I thought I better put my groceries away. I

went to the kitchen and unpacked the bags. I had my refrigerator stocked and dry goods

in the pantry. I folded the sacks and I threw my trash in a bag. I sat it in the corner of the

kitchen and made a mental note to buy a trash can. The boxes out here can wait till

tomorrow. I went into my room and unpacked my linen and made my bed. Hung up all

my clothes, filled the dresser and placed my lamp and phone on the bedside table. I

looked at my watch it was 9:55pm. One last chore, I prepared Tink’s litter box and placed

it in the smaller of the bedrooms. I looked around and was happy with my progress but

was ready for bed.

I decided a hot shower would feel wonderful. I went to the bathroom and turned on

the shower. After what I thought was a sufficient time for the water to get hot I stepped

in.

“Oh my goodness!” I gasped.

The water was still cold. I stepped out and wrapped a towel around me. I sat on the

toilet and waited for the water to warm. After what seemed like 5 minuets the steam

started to fill the room. I stepped in, adjusted the temperature and showered. The warm

water felt wonderful. I stood there letting the hot water work the knots out of my

shoulders and back. I shampooed and rinsed my hair. I felt absolutely warm and relaxed.

I inhaled the scent of lavender hanging in the air. I enjoyed the sent of my shampoo. I

bought it when I heard lavender was supposed to relax a person. Tonight I wasn’t sure if

4
it was the lavender or the exhaustion of my full day, but I was relaxed. I wrapped a large

towel around me and headed to my bedroom.

I put on the first night gown I found in my dresser, slipped on my robe and decided it

was time to lock up. I checked every window and both doors.

“All locked Tink,” I said out loud as I picked her up. “Time for bed”

I picked up my keys by the front door and took them into the kitchen and placed them

on the counter next to my purse. I walked back down the hall to my room, crawled into

bed and put Tink in her favorite spot. I closed my eyes and immediately fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up feeling rested. I stretched and yawned. I planned my

day while still lying in bed. I needed to find a plumber to check the plumbing and install

the appliances I planned to purchase today. Of course I still had a lot of unpacking to do.

I was excited to get started so I jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed. I made a

quick “pit stop,” washed my face and brushed my teeth. I looked in the full length mirror

attached to the back of the bathroom door. I pulled a brush through my long wavy dark

brown hair. I pulled it up in a pony tail, with it up like this I could see my natural auburn

undertones. I decided no make up today. My eyes, which Keith always called doe eyes,

were a deep brown with glints of green and gold in them. My skin was not naturally dark

but from spending time in the sun I had a nice bronzed look. I was short, only five foot

two inches but proportioned well. I was neither too thin nor heavy, just a comfortable in

between. Satisfied with how I looked in my white t-shirt, jeans and tennis shoes, I

headed to the kitchen.

I hadn’t unpacked my bowls, so cereal was out of the question. I decided to go out for

breakfast at the diner I saw a few miles down the road. I picked up my purse and reached

5
for my keys. They weren’t there. I glanced to the counter but they weren’t there either. I

retraced my steps from last night and knew I had picked up the keys and threw them on

the counter. Maybe they had fallen; so I searched the floor in the kitchen but still

couldn’t find them. Maybe I left them in Tink’s room. I opened her bag of dry food and

poured some in her bowl. I got fresh water and took them to her room. Tink followed me

and wrapped herself around my ankles as she purred. I stepped into her room put her

bowls on the floor and continued looking for my keys.

“Where did I leave my keys?” I asked Tink.

I went to the door thinking maybe I left them in the lock, however they weren’t there

either. In frustration, I began turning back toward the room stopping half way through

my turn. There, hanging on a hook on a nail were my keys.

“How in the hell did those get there?” I said out loud.

I thought for a moment, I guess because I was just so tired last night I didn’t

remember putting them on the hook. I took my keys off the nail, headed out the door and

locked it. I got in my car, pulled out of the drive and headed for the diner.

I pulled in front of Tammy’s place. The diner was an old one story block building

decorated with window boxes and wooden shutters. The parking lot looked full, that’s

always a good sign I thought to myself. Before going in I bought a newspaper from one

of those coin operated machines. I folded it under my arm and went through the door. It

was a small diner with only twenty booths. The inside was quaint with the walls

decorated in country primitive. Old kitchen utensils and gadgets were mounted on the

walls and the menu was hand written on a large chalkboard. There was only one table

6
available when I took my seat. A middle-aged woman with blond hair and dark roots

walked up to my table.

“Hi hon.” She said with a smile. “The morning special is two eggs, toast, home fries

and juice for just four fifty.”

“That sounds great; I would also like to have a cup of coffee. I can’t start the day

without coffee.” I said with a smile.

“How do you want your eggs?”

“Over medium” I replied because I could never stand runny eggs. “If it isn’t too much

trouble could you put onions in the home fries?”

“Sure thing hun, commin’ right up.” She said.

I always liked onions but Keith didn’t like the smell. So for the last five years I

didn’t eat them. I should have diced onions and left them under his pillow when I left. I

chuckled to myself at the evil but funny thought.

I took a pen and paper from my purse and started a shopping list while I waited for my

breakfast: Trashcan, dishwasher, microwave, stove, refrigerator, blinds for my windows,

hammer, nails to hang pictures, light bulbs, lawnmower and rake. Boy the home

improvement store is going to love me today. I guess I also need a washer and dryer. As

I sat staring out the window I turned my attention to some of the conversations around

me. I know that is eaves dropping, but doesn’t everyone do it? The couple across the

room was discussing their son’s behavior. The group in front of me was trying to plan a

weekend get away. The table behind me, in hushed voices, was talking about me. I

picked up the newspaper and pretended to read while adjusting my position to hear better.

“I heard she paid cash for the house.” One voice said.

7
 “What does her husband do?” another voice chimed in continuing the gossip.

“She isn’t married.” The first voice continued. “I heard she was living with a guy and

just left him.”

“Do you think she took some of his money? How else could a young girl like her

afford to pay cash for a house?”

“It has to be something illegal, Drugs, prostitution?”

Then a voice that had not yet contributed to the conversation said, “Maybe she is from

a wealthy family and why do you have to put a negative swing on every new person that

moves into the area? She looks nice enough to me so let’s not call the narcotics squad on

her yet,” she said sounding a little sarcastic.

I smiled to myself. I guess it should upset me that I am the center of gossip but it

really doesn’t. I feel if they are talking about me then they are leaving someone else

alone. I cleared my throat loudly and the gossip quickly stopped. Do you think they

would want the real story? It isn’t as good as what their minds are coming up with.

Should I tell them that on a cold snowy night five and a half years ago I lost every

member of my family?

My parents and my maternal grandmother and I were on a road trip down to Florida to

soak up some sun. I was in my car and they were following in their mini van. On a steep

incline through the mountains a semi lost its breaks and swerved into oncoming traffic. I

managed to avoid a collision but my parents weren’t as lucky. They collided head on.

My parents were declared dead on the scene, but grandma held on for another two weeks,

but suffered way too much. I was sad to see her finally pass, but so relieved that she was

no longer in pain. After all expenses were paid what was left of the life insurance money

8
was more than enough to live. Then add in what I made from selling both houses, and I

really don’t have to work for quite a while. I invested some of the money, and the rest I

managed to keep Keith from knowing it even existed. If he had known it was there, even

though I got it before I met him, he would have expected me to spend it all on him.

I folded my paper just in time for my breakfast to arrive at the table.

“Here you go hun, let me know if you need anything else,” she said as she poured my

coffee. “Enjoy.”

“Thanks, I will, everything looks great.” I said with a smile.

I ate my breakfast without having to hear anything else about me. I chuckled to

myself imagining what kind of stories they could come up with if they saw me shopping

today. I finished eating and laid a twenty dollar bill on the table.

As I went out the door I told the waitress, “Keep the change.” Laughing to myself I

thought maybe I should have put a newer looking twenty on the table. Maybe they would

think I was a counterfeiter. It would at least give them something else to talk about.

“With plastic in purse she if off and running,” I said out loud as I headed to the home

improvement center. I know I talk to myself a lot but it is something I have done as long

as I could remember. It was always a joke within our family that I was the only one who

could carry on an entire conversation with herself. The twenty minute drive was

pleasant. The sun was shining, and I love sunny days. I was in no hurry, so when I got

behind a slow moving car I just matched my speed to theirs. I enjoyed the drive till I

pulled into the parking lot and parked my Outback. I got out and entered the store.

9
 I spent the next three hour choosing all the appliances and necessities for my house.

Another half hour was added having the extended warranties explained. When it was

finally totaled I swiped my plastic to cover my very large purchase.

“When will this all be delivered?”

“Everything is in our local warehouse so you should get it all tomorrow.”

“Wonderful! Do you happen to know a plumber who could install all of this for me?”

The cashier reached into the drawer and pulled out a business card. “This is my

nephew; he usually makes himself available to our customers.”

I took the card. “Thank you.”

She smiled and said, “Have a great day.”

After I finished loading my smaller purchases in my Outback I remembered why I

didn’t like shopping. I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was go home and lie down. I

was still in sticker shock. I couldn’t believe the prices of my appliances. I guess when I

packed my stuff at Keith’s I should have packed an appliance or two.

I still needed to stop at my new job to find out what day they wanted me to start. I

decided I would only work part time. Just two to three days a week. That should be

enough to keep me busy. Instead of working in a hospital like I did before, I decided to

work in home health. At least in home health I could set my days and even pick the

patients I wanted to see. It was the perfect job. Make weekly or monthly visits at the

patient’s house, tend to their care, and out the door you go. Charting, which is in my

opinion the worst part of the job, only had to be turned in weekly. I needed to make sure

I kept up with this part, I am an awful procrastinator.

10
 I pulled out of the parking lot and into the flow of traffic. Driving down the road I

made mental notes of stores or little shops I might stop at on one of my next shopping

trips. I saw the library, a large stone structure that looked almost castle like. I will have

to stop in there and get a library card. Does anyone get library cards anymore?

About three blocks down from the library in an old strip mall, was the office for my

new job. I went into the small office. It was tastefully decorated in burgundy and forest

green, with quite a few plants in the big store front windows. I told the receptionist who I

was and she flashed a smile at me.

“Please have a seat, Nancy will be with you shortly.”

I sat down and waited. In the corner some soap opera was on the TV. Never one for

watching that kind of stuff, I just sat and watched the cars pull in and out of the parking

lot.

“Nancy will see you now.” She said from behind the desk.

“Thank you,” I said as I walked to Nancy’s office.

“Nice to see you Eva,” Nancy said as I entered her office. “Have a seat.”

I sat down, “Thank you.”

“So are you all settled into your new house?”

“I’m getting there,” I said with a smile.

“So how soon can you start?”

“Well….In three days, is that soon enough?”

“That’s wonderful! Let me get you your charts and maps to all of our patient’s homes.

I will keep you relatively local until you learn the area.”

“Thank you, I was kind of worried about getting lost.”

11
 We talked for a few more minutes until she got a phone call. “We will see you in three

days hun.” She smiled, waved and then answered the phone.

I left the office and said “bye” to the receptionist and headed out the door.

On my way home I picked up a taco salad at a drive through. I really couldn’t cook

until my appliances were installed. I hope the plumber is available. I would sure hate to

live on fast food for more than a few days.

It was such a beautiful day that I rolled down my car windows and turned on the radio.

I listened and sang along when I knew the words. I was singing at full volume when I

stopped at a red light. Not really paying attention I kept right on singing. When I looked

around a guy in the car next to me was smiling. I blushed and turned my head. I never

thought my singing was that bad, but….being heard, while singing my fool heart out was

so embarrassing. At that moment I vowed never to sing in the car again. When the light

turned green, my unwilling single audience member turned to the left and I continued

straight. Hopefully I won’t run into him again, I thought still embarrassed.

When I got home I hung the keys on the nail I found them on this morning. I called

for Tink. I sat down on the sofa and she jumped into my lap and purred.

“How was your day Tink? I bet you spent all day lying in the window watching the

world and birds go by. Is that what you did today?” She answered with a meow.

I ate my taco salad sharing the cheese with Tink. When I was done I got my purse and

pulled out the business card I got at the home improvement center. I dialed the number.

“Hello, Mike’s plumbing.” A voice said on the other end of the line.

“Hello my name is Eva Good and I got your number from your aunt today at the home

improvement center.”

12
 “Yes ma’am what can I do for you?” he asked.

I explained to Mike what all I needed done.

“That’s a big job ma’am.”

“I know and I need it done as soon as you can. I just moved in and don’t want to eat

fast food and cereal all of the time.”

“Well ma’am I can come over around five in the evening tomorrow, how does that

work for you?”

“Sounds great! Hopefully everything will be delivered by then.”

“I will call the delivery crew and have them meet me at your house.”

“Can you do that?” I asked surprised.

He chuckled, “It helps if your cousin is the delivery person.”

“Well Mike I will see you tomorrow, and thank you.”

“See you tomorrow Mrs. Good.”

“That is Ms. Good, but calls me Eva.”

“Ok Eva I will see you tomorrow, bye.”

“Bye.” And we both hung up.

I spent the rest of the evening putting my kitchen in order, dishes in the cupboards,

silverware in the drawer closest to the stove, cooking utensils in a jar on the counter. I

had everything unpacked, washed, dried and put away. I took all the newspapers I had

used to wrap my dishes and shoved them in a box. I broke the other boxes down and

took everything into the back yard. I walked what I considered a safe distance from the

house and piled up all the boxes. I lit a piece of the newspaper with a match and watched

the flame grow.

13
 It was dusk, the sky was a dark blue with streaks of red and pink surrounding the

setting sun. As the flames grew I pulled up a cement block that was left in the yard and

sat there watching the fire. Staring into the red orange flames, watching them dance, I

started to remember another time. A good time, that seemed like a lifetime ago, a time

with Keith when we were sitting at a bonfire cuddling. Our faces were warm from the

flames and our backs were cold from the winter air and the lightly falling snow. That

was the magical night that Keith had asked me to marry him. I cried and said yes.

“Great I’m crying.” I said out loud disgusted with myself.

How dare the thoughts of him sill make me cry. I sat and watched the flames until

they turned to glowing ashes and died, just like our relationship. I stood up and scattered

the ashes with my foot to make sure they were all out. I turned and walked into the

house. I locked the door and turned the lights off in the kitchen. I walked into the living

room, picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned on the stereo. Soft music

flowed from the speakers. I wrapped my arms around myself, stood in the middle of the

room and started to sway to the music. I didn’t recognize the song but it was sad and

melancholy, matching the mood I was in. A single tear escaped from my eye and rolled

down my cheek. I thought the crying was done but the pain returned full force. I

crumpled onto the floor and started to sob. Why had he done this to me?

“What is wrong with me?” I asked the empty room. “Why did he feel he had to go to

someone else, what did she have that I didn’t?”

An uneasy stillness fell over me. The room felt charged. It felt like at any moment a

lightning bolt would shoot down from the ceiling. The hair on the back of my neck and

arms prickled. Just then I felt a wisp of my hair move. I felt a cold chill on my cheek.

14
My heart started to pound. I pulled myself away from the sensation. I felt as though I

needed to run from the room, to get away from whatever had touched me, and the feeling

was overpowering.

“What the hell was that?”

I scrambled backward on my hands and butt. My back was now against the sofa. I still

felt the energy. I got up, my eyes wide, I looked around the room but nothing was there.

I felt as if I was being watched. The hairs on my neck and arms not only prickled but

stood up and a visible chill ran down my spine and shook my whole body.

I quickly locked the front door. I went through the whole house and turned on every

light and crawled into bed and pulled the covers over my head.

“Eva you are being stupid. You just got yourself so worked up over Keith that you

imagined it all.” With a nervous little laugh I closed my eyes and waited for sleep, still

jumping at every little noise.

“Kitty, kitty, kitty” I called.

Tink came through the door and jumped on the bed. She started purring and kneading

the blankets. I know it sounds stupid but I felt safer with her in the room with me.

Sleep finally came around three in the morning. I dreamed of Keith.

15
 Chapter 2

When I woke up the next day it was already after 10:30am. I rolled out of bed, and

then went down the hall into the bathroom. I did my morning routine and headed to the

kitchen for coffee. Later today my appliances will be installed in my kitchen, so for now

it is cold cereal. I walked over to the ancient refrigerator and got the milk. The poor

thing I thought as I closed the door. The refrigerator should have been sent out to the

dump long ago. I poured my favorite cold cereal in a bowl, added the milk and got a

spoon. I stayed at the kitchen table, avoiding the living room, still not sure what

happened last night. I mulled it over in my head. I must have just been so upset that I let

an innocent breeze scare me.

“Yeah! That’s it; old houses have air leaking around every window and door. That

had to be it.” I felt silly about my reaction last evening. At that moment, as if on cue, the

wind blew through the cracks around the kitchen window. The whistle of the wind, with

an undertone of a moan, blew through the cracks for what seemed like a few seconds

until the sound became a faint whisper. That had to be what happened last night. I just

couldn’t hear the wind due to the music. I laughed out loud at myself and my silly

reaction.

The realization that what happened last evening was a figment of my overactive

imagination lightened my mood. I decided that since the inside of my house was at least

livable, still with boxes and unpacking to do but livable, I would work in the yard. I

finished my cereal, washed my dishes and put them away. I got myself dressed in a pair

of old cut off jeans and a yellow tank top. I might as well soak up a little sun while I am

16
working. I grabbed my MP3 player and headed for the door. Stepping outside I looked

over the yard.

“Sure needs a lot of work.” I said as I placed my hands on my hips.

Flowers, I thought to myself, flowers on each side of the walk would brighten up the

yard. I went to my Outback and pulled out my new tools. Shovel, rake, hoe, everything I

needed to work in my yard. I started turning over the dirt on each side of the sidewalk,

removing rocks as I worked. Next I dug out a few skeletons of what looked like

flowering bushes and threw them in a pile on the side of the house. I was working in the

yard when I got an odd feeling that I was being watched. I looked around and no one was

there. I looked at the front of the house and thought I saw a movement in the upstairs

window. Oh that must be Tink, she is probably just watching birds.

I continued working in the yard. Raking and cleaning everything that needed my

attention. I worked for hours. My favorite song came on my player and I turned it up

even though I knew it was bad for my ears. While I was getting into the music, that same

uncomfortable sensation of eyes following my every move traveled through me. I tried

to ignore it, but it got stronger. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at the house half

expecting to see someone standing in one of the windows. There was no one there. I had

a feeling that whatever it was, it was getting closer. I felt vulnerable, out in the open. I

felt that anything could run up behind me and grab me. Just as I started thinking about

running into the house I felt a tap on my shoulder. I screamed and turned around to face

whatever had touched me.

Standing in front of me was a tall man about six foot three inches, sandy brown hair,

hazel eyes and broad shoulders. He was laughing, not just a little chuckle, but what I call

17
a belly laugh. I ripped my ear buds out and just stood there staring at him until his

laughing stopped.

“What the hell do you think you are doing scaring me like that?” I yelled.

This just produced another round of laughter. Again I waited until the laughing

stopped and he caught his breath.

“Who the hell are you?” I fumed.

“Sorry ma’am I’m Mike Slack from Mike’s plumbing.” He said with a smile. “Please

forgive me but I haven’t had a laugh like that in a long time, thank you.”

“Well you’re welcome I guess.” I said hotly.

Again he chuckled. “Your appliances will be here in twenty minuets. Could you

please show me to the kitchen so I can disconnect the old ones?”

We went into the house. I showed him the kitchen. He quickly went about his job

disconnecting the stove and refrigerator. From the living room I watched him move

about my kitchen. His long body was proportioned well. I watched his broad shoulders

and biceps flexing as he tugged the stove from its position. He looked back at me,

catching me watching him and smiled. His smile lit up his face, and danced in his eyes. I

turned red and cleared my throat and made a vain attempt at pretending I was looking out

the window behind him.

I picked up a magazine and repeatedly tried to pay attention to the pages in front of me

but I kept catching myself watching him. What is it about him? I shouldn’t like him, he

scared the hell out of me.

There was a knock at the door. A large man announced through the screen door that

he had my appliances.

18
 Mike hollered from the kitchen, “be right there Curtis!”

He walked past me toward the door and shot me a smile as he went out. Damn he

knew I was watching him. I am so embarrassed. I knew at that moment I didn’t just

blush I must have turned crimson. I composed myself and walked out onto the porch. I

sat on my swing and watched the three men joking and laughing as they unloaded

everything. This time I made sure Mike didn’t catch me looking at him.

“Next comes the hard part Ms Good, getting everything inside.” Mike said.

The delivery men wrestled everything into their prospective locations with Mike

supervising. I gave the men each a twenty dollar tip for all their hard work. Mike walked

them to the truck. I swear as the men drove away I heard Curtis, who I guess was Mike’s

cousin say, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do man,” as he laughed and pulled out of the

drive.

This set my blood to boiling. Not only had Mike knocked ten years off of my life by

scaring me, but now he thinks he’s a Casanova. When he came back in the house I was

pretending to be engrossed in some article in my magazine.

“I guess I better get back to work.” He said flashing a smile.

I just waved him toward the kitchen without looking up and said, “Ok.”

He just stood there for a moment and walked into the kitchen. I spent the next hour

pretending he wasn’t there.

“Ms Good,” I wasn’t expecting him to talk and I jumped. “I’m done for the night.”

“That’s good, what time will you be back tomorrow?”

“Ten if that’s not too early.”

“Fine,” I said trying to sound aloof then turned back to my magazine.

19
 “Ms Good…um Eva.” When he said my name I looked up.

“Yes?”

“You heard what Curtis said didn’t you?” Mike didn’t let me answer and just kept

going. “I’m so sorry, Curtis can be a little harsh at times. I don’t want you to think I am

like that.” The expression on his face made my resolve melt a little.

“It’s alright I have been known to overreact at times.” I said with a slight smile.

Mike flashed his wonderful smile. “How about we start over tomorrow? Let’s start

with a clean slate.”

“Sure thing, I’ll see you bright and early at ten in the morning, and I will have

forgotten all about this little incident.” I said as I returned his smile.

“Night Eva.”

“Night Mike.

Mike turned and walked out the door.

I don’t even remember getting ready for bed but soon I was asleep.

20
 Chapter 3

The next morning Mike showed up at exactly 10am. When he walked through the

front door both hands were behind his back.

“Good morning Eva.” He smiled.

“Morning Mike.”

He continued to smile then brought his left hand from behind his back and extended a

brown paper sack toward me,

“What’s this?” I asked chuckling.

“A peace offering, I’m trying to make up for yesterday.”

“Well I will only accept your gift if you can produce coffee.”

He smiled and with a flash from his right hand he produced a drink carrier with two

cups of coffee.

“All is forgiven Sir.” I said.

“Thank you my lady,” he said with a bow.

“Just take it to the kitchen so we can have breakfast.”

Now with a serious face, “off the clock of course?” he asked.

“Just shut up and get in here.” I said walking toward the kitchen.

We spent the next hour eating our breakfast and getting to know each other. Mike told

me he was a single father of a six year old daughter. He had been divorced for three

years now. I also told him a short version of my life, keeping out the painful parts.

When we had finished our breakfast he started installing my under mount microwave. I

went about unpacking more boxes. We worked in separate rooms for about two hours.

When I was done in the living room I went back to my bedroom and figured I would

21
finish the few boxes in there. After about twenty minuets I felt someone walk up behind

me.

“Are you done in the kitchen?” I asked without turning around.

“Uh huh.”

“Are you getting hungry yet?”

“No.” he said.

As I turned around “Well Mi…..” letting his name dangle unfinished in the air.

No one was there, but I could feel someone in the room. I felt something walk past

me and head toward the closet. I felt cold… I kept my eyes on the closet and backed out

of the room. I backed down the hall and ran right into Mike.

I screamed, he laughed and said, “We have to quit meeting like this.”

He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. The smile on his face

disappeared when he saw the terror in my eyes.

“What’s wrong Eva?” His expression was between fear and confusion.

“I…I… thought someone was in my room.” I managed to choke out.

“Who?”

“I don’t know I couldn’t see anyone…. I thought it was you at first.” I said with a

trembling voice.

“I was in the kitchen, I was just coming down the hall to tell you that I was going to

run into town for lunch.”

“Oh…ok.”

“Let me look in your room for you. You stay right here.” Mike walked toward my

room with me a step behind him. “I thought I told you to stay in the hall.” He looked me

22
in the eyes and saw the determination in me and shrugged his shoulders. “Well stay close

then,” as we walked in my room. We looked in the closet and under the bed. The room

was empty.

Mike turned and looked me in the eyes. “Eva, no one is in here.”

“I could have sworn someone walked up behind me then walked right past me.”

“Eva no one is here. Old houses make all kinds of noises, it’s called settling.” He

smiled weakly. “My house does it all the time; I swear sometimes it sounds like someone

is walking in the kitchen when I’m in the living room.” It’s either settling or I have a

ghost who likes to dance in the kitchen.”

My eyes widened, “Ghost?”

He chuckled. “Eva there is no such thing as ghosts.” He put his arm around my

shoulder and walked me back toward the living room. He could tell that I was still

scared, smiled and asked, “how about we go into town and get some lunch?”

“I’m not hungry.” I said stealing glances back toward the hall and my room.

“Come on we can get some lunch and sit on the porch and enjoy the afternoon.”

I knew he was just trying to make me feel more at ease, which I did appreciate, but I

didn’t feel like going into town. “How about I throw something together here?”

“Alright, I guess you do owe me one since I provided breakfast.” His eyes twinkled.

I walked into the kitchen and gasped. “You got everything done? How did you get it

all done so fast?”

I’m good, what can I say?” This time he flashed me a crooked ornery smile. My heart

skipped a beat, he was so good looking.

23
 I walked further into my kitchen…new fridge, stove, microwave and dishwasher.

“Thank you Mike.” I threw my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. I suddenly

realized what I was doing and pulled myself back and dropped my arms. “I am so sorry.”

I said while staring at my shoes, whishing that I could crawl in a hole somewhere.

“Hey that’s alright, I kinda liked it.” The same crooked smile lit up his face. “Keep

thanking me like that and I might have to reduce your bill.”

“Just shut up and get out of here so I can throw something together for lunch.” I said

as I gave him a playful shove on the shoulder.

“I’ll go in the basement and hook up the washer and dryer, holler down when lunch is

ready.” He said as he softly chuckled his way down the stairs.

I busied myself preparing lunch. I opened a can of diced chicken, mixed in mayo,

relish, garlic and onion powder. I sat that aside and sliced the tomato and cheese I had

bought the day I moved in. I took cucumber and onion, peeled and sliced it then placed it

in a bowl of vinegar and sugar. I took a container of cottage cheese from the fridge and

placed it on the table. I sat two glasses of ice tea, plates, forks and the remainder of the

food on the table. I hope this is enough. What if Mike doesn’t like chicken salad? I began

to worry. “Well if he doesn’t like chicken salad then I can just fix him a peanut butter

sandwich.” I said out loud as I gave the table a good onceover to make sure I didn’t

forget anything. “Looks good” I thought to myself. “Keit….Mike it’s ready. I hope he

didn’t hear that.

“Ok I’m coming.” I heard him jog up the steps into the kitchen. “Wow that looks

great, but I thought we were eating outside?”

24
 “Well I thought we could eat in here so I could enjoy your handiwork and my new

appliances. Is that alright with you?”

“Sure.” He said as he went to the sink and washed his hands. “I’m starving.” He sat

down and started dishing up his plate. “Boy this is better than the hoagie I planned on

getting for lunch.” He smiled and started eating.

It was good to watch him eat. I don’t know what it is about me but I have always

enjoyed watching a man enjoy a meal, especially a meal that I had prepared. We ate as

we were chatting. I found out he grew up here and married his high school sweet heart

when she became pregnant two months after graduation. He said his dad started the

plumbing company five years ago, which is doing very well. His wife cheated on him

one year into the marriage. The divorce was relatively amicable and Mike was awarded

custody of Linda.

When there was a lull in the conversation Mike looked down at his plate and said.

“Eva can I ask you something?”

This made me a little nervous. “Sure.”

“Who is Keith?” At least that is who I thought I heard you call when lunch was ready.

I took a deep breath. “It’s a long story that we can save for another time. Let’s just say

I thought he was the love of my life and I turned out to be very wrong.”

Mike could see the pain in my eyes and didn’t press the issue. “OK, another time

then.”

“Thank you, I just don’t want to bring it all up when it only happened a month ago.”

After we finished lunch Mike returned to the basement. I thought over our

conversation and decided I could no longer hold it against him for scaring me yesterday.

25
Mike was honestly a nice guy. I cleaned the dishes and whiped down my new

appliances. When I was finished I went to my bedroom and hung a few pictures on the

walls. I then went into the living room and vacuumed, dusted and picked up the

remainder of my packing materials. I walked into the bathroom, cleaned the mirror and

washed out the sink. I swept the floor and took the throw rug onto the porch and shook it

out. When I walked back in the house I heard a loud clang from the basement with a loud

string of expletives that followed.

“Are you alright?” I yelled down the stairs.

“Yeah I just had my wrench fall off of the washer and land on my damn foot.”

Laughing as I went down the stairs I asked, “Do I need to dust off my first aid skills?”

“Well if a nurse has to dust off first aid skills then I think the town is in trouble.”

All I could think to do was stick my tongue out at him.

“Very mature of you Eva.”

I ran up the steps with him following close behind. I ran down the hall. I froze in mid

step with Mike colliding into me. The door to my room was slowly closing by itself.

“Did you see that?” I whispered.

“I sure did.” Mike walked past me and tiptoed to my door and flung it open.

Tinkerbelle howled when the door collided with her. She ran from the room all puffed up.

“There’s your culprit.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. You know if you keep this up, the saving me and

everything, I just might have to keep you here for my protection.” As soon as I said it I

wished I could have taken it back. I didn’t want to lead him on. I didn’t want him to

think I wanted a relationship.

26
 “My pleasure ma’am.” He said with a southern drawl while tipping an imaginary hat.

“Well I think we have done enough here today.” I saw his smile drop ever so slightly.

“I have to work in the morning, how about, if you’re not too busy, coming back day after

tomorrow and looking at my hot water tank.”

“Sure thing ma’am.” He said still playing the same character. “How about I run down

and check it out before I go just so I know what I need.”

“Sure, I’m going into town to pick up a few more things. Please make sure Tink doesn’t

get out when you leave, and make sure you lock up.”

“No problem, see ya in two days.”

“Thanks again Mike.” I said as I went for my purse and headed out the door. I saw

Mike go down the basement stairs as I closed the door. I really didn’t need anything at

the store but I made myself a little uncomfortable with the closeness that was beginning

to form with Mike. I didn’t need to start anything more than a friendship with him. It’s

just way too soon.

I got in my Outback and just drove around trying to kill enough time to let Mike leave

the house. I found an automated car wash and pulled in. I inserted my money into the

box, selected the type of wash and wax I wanted. I sat in my Outback and rode through

the wash. My Outback is one of the few things I brought with me that Keith had helped

me pick out. I guess it is silly to love a vehicle as much as I did my Outback. It is a deep

burgundy with the bottom ¼ of the body a dark grey. I thought about selling it just to cut

another tie with Keith but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let what he had done take my car away

from me.

27
 As the wash and wax ended I decided I had given Mike enough time to leave. I should

now be safe to return home. No more awkward moments. I drove home slowly. I pulled

into my drive “Good no Mike.” I walked into my house and there was Tink on the sofa.

She was safe and had not escaped when Mike left. I sat in the living room. A feeling of

welcome, warmth and pleasure washed over me. Am I already that comfortable in my

new home? Then a funny thought crossed my mind. Is my new house happy to see me?

It had been empty for five years. I laughed at the thought of a house being happy to see

me. I turned on the TV and watched old sitcom reruns, laughed out loud at the funny

parts and just enjoyed myself.

The phone rang, I jumped. Who would be calling me? As I reached for the phone next

to the sofa part of me hoped it wasn’t Keith, but a small part of wished it was?

“Hello?”

“Hi Eva, how’s it going?” It was Jennifer, one of the aids from the floor I worked on

at the hospital. We never really hung out much, but I really liked her.

“Hi Jen! How are you?”

“Good hun. How are you?” she asked enthusiastically.

“I’m doing fine.” I answered.

“Ready to come home yet?”

“No I’m doing the right thing. I couldn’t stay in Parkersburg knowing I could run into

Keith at any time.”

She cleared her throat nervously, “Speaking of Keith, he has called me every day

since you left asking where you are?”

“It’s only been four days.”

28
 “I know but….he really misses you, he cries and everything.”

My stomach started to knot up. “He cries?”

“Yeah he misses you so much.”

“Jen I just can’t….don’t make this hard on me.”

“Ok Eva, I was thinking about driving up to meet you Saturday. I figured we could hit

some flea markets up there in the country.”

“Sounds like fun. When I get my charting done tomorrow I will email you the

directions to the house.”

“Great, see ya Saturday Eva.”

“Yeah see ya then, bye.”

When I returned the phone to its base I realized I did miss the people I worked with in

Parkersburg.

“Well Tink it’s time for bed. I rubbed between her ears and she purred. I checked all

the windows and doors making sure they were locked. The keys were on the nail behind

the door. I gave the room a once over and said to the house. “I’m going to bed now,” and

chuckled as I walked down the hall to my room.

“Tink kitty kitty kitty,” she came trotting into the room and jumped on the bed and lay

down. “Tink I think I am gonna like it here.”

As soon as my head hit the pillow I fell asleep.

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 Chapter four

I opened my eyes, it was dark. The stillness was welcoming. It was nothing compared

to the busy street I lived on with Keith. The moon was peaking out from behind slowly

floating clouds. The moonlight was sending soft long tendrils, almost finger like, through

my window. They reached across the wooden floor and up onto my bed caressing my

face. This must have been what woke me. I should have pulled my blinds but I didn’t

think of it when I came to bed. I made a mental note to close them tomorrow night.

I reached down and gently ran my fingers through Tink’s soft grey fur. She stretched

her paw toward me as if saying Hi and purred. I looked at my digital clock on my bedside

table and saw that it was only a few minutes after midnight, so I decided to go back to

sleep. Trying to get comfortable I rolled over and something caught my eye. I looked

again and there in my bedroom doorway was a man just watching me. I could barely see

him. My room isn’t that dark. I must be dreaming. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to

shake off the sleepiness. I opened my eyes and he was still there, smiling this time.

I kept my eyes on him and slowly reached for the crystal candleholder next to my bed.

I picked it up.

“Get out of here!” I yelled.

I threw the candleholder at him. I must have missed since he didn’t even flinch. I sat

up and reached for the phone. At the same time I picked up my lamp and threw it. This

scared Tink and she jumped off of the bed and sailed right through him. What the hell is

going on here? Just at that moment I heard a soft chuckle and he was gone.

30
 I jumped out of bed and grabbed the closest thing I could use as a weapon, the

hammer I had been hanging pictures with earlier in the evening….thank goodness I

procrastinate at putting things away.

I put my feet on the floor cursing at the creaking sound of the hardwood. I tip-toed to

the doorway, raised the hammer and slowly peaked into the hallway. It was empty. I

took a deep breath trying to summon courage and stepped into the hall. Next was the

bathroom, again nothing. I continued through my tiny house till every room was checked

and all the lights were blazing. The only thing I found was poor Tinkerbelle hiding

behind the sofa. I guess she was trying to figure out why I was throwing things.

The doors and all the windows were locked, how could anyone have gotten in? Was I

dreaming?

I looked down at Tink, “Am I loosing my mind? Did I really see him? I held Tink in

front of me waiting for an answer. “Well I guess I just answered myself. I am in my

kitchen in the middle of the night talking to my cat. What’s next? The men in the little

white coats coming to get me with a big net?”

I checked the locks one more time and decided I must have been dreaming. I carried

Tink back to my room. I put the phone back on the stand and realized I only had two

hours left till I had to get up for work. The last few hours passed quickly, I guess that

happens when you are frantically searching your house for an intruder.

When I got back in bed I closed my eyes and thought about the man I saw, or thought

I saw in my room. Why could I not see him clearly, everything else in my room was easy

to see? I could even see into the hallway. Was I dreaming? That’s it, I was dreaming.

Boy I have a good imagination, he was damn good looking. I couldn’t get his image out

31
of my head. He looked as if he liked the outdoors. He looked fit and muscular. He had

long pants and a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled to the elbows. His eyes looked

soft, kind and blue with a slight twinkle of a smile in them.

“Boy Tink I do have an active imagination if I can even tell you the eye color of my

dream.” I thought for a moment. “Ok now it is official, I do need the men in the white

coats. I am still talking to you Tink. Well I think I am just going to get up and do

something, anything to get my mind back to the land of the non crazy people.” I got up,

same creak on the floor as before, and walked to my kitchen. I got out my mug and

turned on the coffee pot. “Time for a good book.”

While the coffee was brewing I read the same paragraph at least three times…

”Concentrate Eva,” I said out loud. I tried to read again but just couldn’t stay focused.

The coffee was ready so I made a cup and took it into the living room so I could watch

some TV. I flipped through the channels till I found the early news. Watching the

weather I saw it was going to be a beautiful afternoon, with a high of 70 degrees, perfect

for painting my bedroom.

“That settles it Tink, I am going to paint my room today.” I only had one patient today

so I would be done with work by eleven a.m. I could stop at the hardware store on my

way home. The rest of the early morning was spent flipping through country themed

magazines looking for a color scheme.

My first job of the day went quickly. I made my visit to my patient’s home, did the

necessary medical care and sat with the patient and had a glass of iced tea. Mrs.

Zimmerman was a small woman, soon to be ninety six years old, and was in relatively

good health for someone her age.

32
 “So tell me Eva, do you live near here?” she asked as a shaky hand brought the glass

of tea to her lips.

Now I hated talking about myself, but most of my patients have very little opportunity

for socialization so I thought what the heck. “Yes ma’am I do. I live just a few miles up

the road, the little house on the left that has been empty for the last five years.

“Oh you mean the Gunn house?”

“I’m not sure, the man I bought it from…. His last name was Wiley, John Wiley.”

Mrs. Zimmerman looked at me and wrinkled her brow. She looked as if she were

trying to remember something. “Well, the Wiley’s bought it back in the 1970’s and lived

there for a few years. Actually quite a few families have lived there over the years.”

“Wow, I guess I never thought of my house belonging to anyone other than Mr. Wiley

and me. But I guess if it was built in the late 1880’s then it was old enough to have had

quite a few owners.”

“Benjamin Gunn bought the land and built the farm in I think, the 1890’s. My mother

used to tell me stories of socials that used to be held at the farm till Mr. Gunn was killed

in 1912.

“Killed?” I asked.

“Yes he was killed while the coal minors in town were on strike. He was in the store,

owned by the mine, one night covering for a sick friend. A few of the men on strike

broke in after the store was locked and shot him in the back. When he was found he had a

note pinned to his blood soaked shirt that stated he should have never crossed the picket

line.

“Were the men arrested?”

33
 “No, they could never figure out who pulled the trigger.”

“What ever happened to the family?”

“Mrs. Gunn and her younger children moved out of the area to live with her family.

The three older boys stayed to work the farm.”

“What an interesting story.” I looked at my watch and realized it was 10:45am. “I’m

sorry Mrs. Zimmerman, I have to go. I need to get my charting done before the office

closes.” Really I didn’t, I just wanted to stop at the hardware store and start my painting.

“We will talk more next week. I want to hear more about my house. Thanks for the tea,

have a great week. Please call the office if you need anything.”

“I will honey,” she said while her face showed a little disappointment. “Maybe I can

find some pictures from way back. Would you like that?”

“Oh yes, that sounds wonderful. I’ll see you next week.” I said as I walked out the

door. When I got in my car I felt a little guilty. I know all she wanted was some light

conversation. I made a mental note to schedule some extra time with her next week.

I pulled out of her drive and continued down the road to the gas station. At the station

I filled up my car and went in to pay. On the way to the counter I decided to stop at the

park to finish my charting. I paid for my gas then headed down the road.

At the park I marveled at the surroundings. From the roadside down to the lake, geese

dotted the scenery. The trees were beautiful. The sky was a pale blue with white puffy

clouds blowing slowly across the lake. I pulled off the side of the road and under a large

tree. I pulled out my computer and started to chart my visit with Mrs. Zimmerman. After

about fifteen minutes of charting I decided to take a break and just listen to the quiet

which was broken occasionally by the honk of a random goose.

34
 “If I keep this up I will never get my painting started.” I said to myself.

I finished my charting, sent Jen an email and put my computer away. It was still early

afternoon; I thought one more hour won’t put my painting job in jeopardy. I decided to

enjoy my surroundings a little longer. I leaned my head back on the rest, closed my eyes,

took a deep breath of clean air and exhaled slowly. I relaxed myself as much as possible.

I sat there just listening to the breeze whisper through the leaves of the tree I was under.

I woke with a start. I looked at my watch, it was now 1:50pm. “Damn!” I didn’t mean

to fall asleep. I started my car and pulled out of the park and headed to the hardware

store.

I pulled the door open and a set of bells hanging on the door announced my arrival. I

just love this store, I thought to myself. There are not too many of these small town mom

and pop stores left. I waved to the young man behind the counter.

He answered my wave and said, “Let me know if I can help you with anything

ma’am.”

I walked the worn wooden floors to the paint section, thumbed through the paint

sample cards and picked out the perfect shade of pale blue and chocolate brown. I walked

up to the counter with my selection. The young man was flipping through a magazine

with pictures of muscle cars. He didn’t hear me coming.

“Excuse me,” I said.

He jumped and smiled slightly, “Sorry ma’am.”

I looked at his name tag, “that’s ok Jim, don’t worry about it.”

“What can I do for you ma’am?”

35
 “Could you please mix some paint for me? I need two of the blue and one of the

brown.”

“Yes ma’am, coming right up.” He said with a smile.

I walked through the store picking up the rest of my supplies: rollers, paint tray, drop

cloth, spackling, putty knife and paint stick. I took everything to the counter and my paint

was already mixed and waiting. Jim rang up my purchase. When he was bagging my stuff

I noticed the large window behind him was surrounded with old faded black and white

pictures.

“What are those?” I asked pointing to the pictures.

“Those are pictures of the town and surrounding farms from 1901 to 1945.”

“Is my house up there?” I asked.

“Well where do you live?”

“I bought the old Wiley house out on route 17.” I explained.

“Um….. Yeah that’s the old Gunn farm, yeah it’s right here.” He pointed at a picture

near the top of the window. It was faded and kind of hard to see from where I was

standing. I could see a farm house, a barn and three men standing in front of the house. I

examined the picture for a moment then decided I needed to get home. Jim finished

bagging my purchase and carried everything to my car.

“Thank you Jim.” I said with a smile.

“Your welcome ma’am.” He said as he jogged back into the store.

When I pulled into my drive it was almost 3pm. I made two trips and finally got all of

my supplies into my bedroom. I stood there with my hands on my hips wondering if I

should start or have a late lunch. I chuckled “Of course lunch is first.” I went to the

36
kitchen, pulled out a package of pre packaged salad, carrots, a hard boiled egg and some

diced ham and made myself a salad. I hadn’t realized how hungry I had been. I ate

quickly, left my dishes on the table and took my tea to the bedroom with me.

“Well I better get started, or I’ll never get this room done.”

I spent the next hour moving everything to the center of my room. I draped everything

with a drop cloth and prepared the walls. Painting… not my most favorite thing to do, but

it does change the feel of a room. My room was a boring white box with no character, no

warmth, but as soon as I touched the wall with the blue paint, the feeling of open endless

sky filled the room. This put a little “kick into my step” I guess you could say, and I

actually enjoyed changing the dull room into a room I knew I would love spending time

in. When I had finished two coats of the blue it was getting dark outside. I spent the next

couple of hours painting the brown accent color. When I was finally finished I stood back

and looked at my room.

“Pretty good job Eva, if I do say so myself.”

I picked up my roller and brushes and took them to the sink. By the time I had the

cans cleaned and sealed, brushes and roller cleaned and everything stored in the

basement, I was exhausted and decided to sleep in the living room. I knew I didn’t have

the energy to put my room back in order and wet paint fumes are not a bouquet I would

enjoy falling asleep with.

After checking every window and both doors and being satisfied they were locked, I

returned to the sofa with a sheet and a pillow. I flopped down on the sofa, kicked off my

shoes and covered up. I turned off the lamp, laid back and closed my eyes. The image of

the man from my room entered my mind. Did I really see him? How could he have gotten

37
into my room? But...Tink went right through him. It had to be a dream. I must not have

been fully awake, just a figment of my imagination. I mulled my experience over and

over in my head trying to make sense of it.

I drifted off to sleep.

38
 Chapter five

The next thing I knew I was riding down a road, everything was in shades of brown

and tan, just like an old photograph. Looking out of the windshield I saw a worn road

with ruts on each side of a raised grassy area. Flowers that looked like wild daisies in

shades of light faded tan were dotting the sides of the road. We were heading toward a

small house in the distance. I marveled at the surroundings. The breeze was blowing

across the fields of long grass. I stared out over the field for a few moments, watching the

grass blowing and changing directions at the whim of the wind. It brought to mind the

ocean, the waves chasing each other until they crashed on the sand over and over, so very

graceful and beautiful. The sky had fluffy clouds lazily being blown by the very same

breeze. An occasional silent bird floated effortlessly across the sky. It was such a

beautiful day. Too bad I can’t see the colors.

“Dreaming,” I thought to myself “I must be dreaming.” I vaguely remember reading

somewhere that people don’t dream in color. That’s it, that’s why everything is in shades

of sepia: I am dreaming. I mulled that thought over for a moment until through the open

window of the truck a breeze caressed my face and caught a stray strand of hair.

If I can’t dream in color, can I feel a breeze?

Just then the truck turned to the right and pulled in front of the little house. It looked

like my house with a large unpainted barn behind and to the right.

I heard the door on the driver’s side of the truck open and close. I looked down at my

hands afraid to look up. Is this where the innocent dream might turn into a nightmare? I

39
heard someone walk around the truck. I was wringing my hands, so very afraid to look

up. My door opened and a hand, still in shades of an old photograph, extended toward me

with its palm up.

“I’m glad you decided to come.” The voice sounded genuine.

I hesitated….. “I was not sure I was going to.” I said playing into the dream.

His hand reached in a little further.

Well if this is going to change into a nightmare I might as well get it over with. I

looked up and reached for his hand.

“It’s you!” I gasped.

I pulled my hand back. It was the man I saw in my room last night.

The look of hurt and confusion crossed his face as he pulled his hand back. “I won’t

hurt you.” His voice gentile and near a whisper.

“You’re just a dream aren’t you?” My voice sounded meek with a slight touch of fear.

“Do you remember falling asleep?” again barely above a whisper.

“Yes.” I answered.

“Well then, does that answer it for you?” this time trying to make his voice more

gentle and convincing, “Please come out of the truck.”

Well if this is just a dream and if it starts going in a direction I don’t like then I can

just force myself to wake up. I always wake up if a dream gets too bad.

His hand came back into the truck. I reached for it and when our fingers touched I

noticed the colors started returning, slowly at first as if painted by water colors. As I

stepped from the truck I watched the sky turn a beautiful pale blue with white fluffy

clouds like balls of cotton. The grass still blowing turned a wonderful shade of green with

40
glints of silver dancing through them. The colors returned to normal. What happened to

my dream theory?

“Follow me please,” he said as he let go of my hand.

I watched him turn and start walking around the left side of the house. I stood alone.

How can I still be dreaming? The colors were magnificent. I don’t know if they were

really as vivid as they seemed or if it was just a trick of the eye from being without color.

“Are you coming?” I heard him ask as he peaked out from behind the house.

“I’m coming.” I replied.

I walked around the side of the house. Behind the house was a clothes line with men’s

shirts and pants hanging, drying in the gentle breeze. A hand pump for water and a

double swing hanging from a large maple tree was also in the back yard.

“Back this way,” he called and waved from behind the left side of the barn.

As I followed his path and walked along the side of the barn there was a faint smell of

fresh cut hay and apples in the air. When I turned the corner behind the barn there was a

small apple orchard. The trees were full and heavy with fruit. Bees were buzzing the trees

and landing on the fallen fruit gorging themselves on the sweet juice of the yellow apples.

Beneath one of the larger trees was laid a red plaid blanket with a large basket sitting in

the center.

“Would you care to join me?” He asked with an outstretched hand.

“Yes thank you.” I answered hesitantly.

“Watch out for the bees.” He called from the blanket.

I made my way to the blanket not taking my eyes off of him. His hair was a chestnut

brown with highlights of gold framing an occasional curl. His face was strong with a

41
square jaw line and his high cheekbones looked, and looked as if it had seen many years

of hard work, worn but still young around his eyes. They were blue, the kind of blue that

almost looks like a clear crystal that one can see through to forever.

I sat down and he started pulling things from the basket. As he lay what looked like

wrapped sandwiches on the blanket I noticed his hands. They looked rough and worn like

physical labor was his constant companion. My eyes traveled up his arm to watch his

muscles ripple with every movement. His shirt sleeves were again rolled up to his

elbows. His shirt, worn but clean, strained against the muscles pushing against the fabric.

I looked up into his face and saw that he was watching me. I blushed and turned my head.

“So Eva, do you like ham sandwiches?” he asked.

How does he know my name? Do I know him from somewhere other than this

dream? “Yes I do they are actually my favorite.” I said with a smile.

“Well then I hope you enjoy it. I really wanted to make something better like fried

chicken but….”

“But what?”

“Well if you were to go into my kitchen there is a slight smell of burnt chicken. I’m

really not much of a cook. I am surprised that I actually have been able to feed myself all

these years.”

We reached for our sandwiches, smiled at each other and started eating. We ate in

silence for what seemed like hours. Then he finally spoke.

“Do you have any questions for me Eva?”

I jumped when I heard his voice, “well yes.”

“Ask away then.” He said smiling.

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 “Who are you?” The question came out sounding more strained or nervous than I

wanted.

He chuckled and smiled. “My name is Jesse Clarke Gunn and this is my family farm.”

He said sweeping his arm across the land.

“How did I get here?”

“You answered that earlier, this is a dream.”

“I’m confused,” how can this be a dream and yet so real? I thought to myself.

“Oh, I am so sorry, where are my manors? Would you like some tea?”

“Yes I would,” suddenly noticing that my mouth was dry. Can your mouth go dry in a

dream?

He produced a mason jar with the lid on it full of tea. Handing me a glass he poured

my tea.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“May I ask another question?” my voice sounding timid.

“Yes you may.”

“Why does everything look so old, the truck, the water pump, your clothes?”

“Well to me they are not old; the truck is only 3 years old. The water pump, well I just

use that for my outside chores. My clothes, they are old, I got them from my mother three

years ago for my thirtieth birthday, but they still wash up well.

“What year is your truck?” I asked

“It is a 1929 Model A Ford, isn’t she a beaut? He asked with an almost child like glee.

“I bought it new three years ago. A man can’t have a farm without a truck.”

43
 “Wait you said your truck was only three years old? Actually it is about eighty five

years old. How is that possible?”

“Eva ,” He said softly, “The truck is only three years old, here it is 1933.”

“No, it is 2008.” I argued.

“Eva, here with me, it is and always will be 1933.”

“But how?” Just then I started hearing a beeping noise off in the distance. “Jesse do

you hear that?” I asked.

The smile left his eyes but he still kept smiling. “Yes I do.”

“What is it?”

“It is 2008 calling; it is time for you to leave me and 1933.”

“But I’m not ready, I have so many questions.”

Colors were starting to run together and fade. The beeping got louder. I felt as if I was

being pulled from a warm safe place, being pulled closer and closer to the constant

beeping. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to will the noise to stop. When I opened my

eyes I was back in my own little house laying on my sofa in my living room.

Disappointed I rolled over and turned off my alarm clock.

I rolled back over and sat up, walked across the room into the kitchen. I turned on the

coffee, walked back out of the kitchen and went into the bathroom.

“I think a shower will do me good.” I said out loud, the sound of my voice seemed

like a yell in my quiet house. I reached into the shower and turned on the water, the old

plumbing took a while to supply me with hot water.

I did my normal morning routine, shower, teeth, hair and makeup. I went to my closet

and pulled out my scrubs, and got dressed. I headed for the kitchen to enjoy a cup of

44
coffee. Taking a seat at the counter I reached over and turned on the radio. I sipped my

coffee and started humming along with the music. I allowed myself to finally replay my

dream in my mind.

Was that just a dream? It had to be. But…it felt so real. I could feel the breeze and I

could smell the apples. Could the dream have been due to seeing the picture of my house

at the hardware store? The picture was in shades of sepia just like the beginning of the

dream. The picture did have a large building, which I guess could be a barn, in the same

location as I did in my dream.

“That’s it.” I said to the air, “face it girl, I have been keeping to myself too much.”

Why am I always so afraid to let people into my life? I know I was hurt bad by Keith and

his cheating but it has been six months since I discovered his infidelities.

“Damn it girl, it is time to stop grieving and start enjoying my life.” Why else had I

left Keith after six months of pain?

After my cup was empty I rinsed and set it in the sink. I turned off the radio and

picked up my bag of charts, my laptop and headed out the door. As I turned and locked

the door I decided I would start living my life and maybe, just maybe Mike would ask me

out on a date.

The rest of the day was uneventful. I saw three patients. The first patient needed to get

blood drawn for testing that her family physician had ordered. The second patient I

changed a surgical dressing and filled her pill boxes for the week. The third patient I

changed his catheter. Four patients in two days, sounded wonderful to me.

45
 I stopped at the office and dropped off the blood sample to be processed. I turned in

my charting to the receptionist, who I found out was named Joyce. I picked up my

caseload for next Thursday and Friday and happily whistled as I went out the door.

“Wow I could get used to this life,” I said to myself. Two days work and now I have

five days off.

I got back in the car and drove home thinking that soon Mike would be at the house to

fix my hot water tank. Then tomorrow morning Jen would be here and we would be

hitting sales and junk shops.

When I pulled in the drive I looked at my watch and I had over an hour until Mike was

supposed to show up. I ran to the fridge and pulled out some chicken breasts and placed

them in marinade, scrubbed off two potatoes, poked holes in them and laid them on foil

and added butter and seasoning. I wrapped them up and preheated the oven. Looking at

my watch I saw I had forty five minuets left. I jumped in and out of the shower quickly. I

blew my hair dry and applied fresh makeup. I picked out a powder blue pair of lounge

pants with a matching blue and white shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror; I hoped I

wasn’t being too obvious. I decided to wait on the porch for Mike. I took a bottle of water

from the fridge after I turned the chicken breast in the marinade, and went and sat on the

swing on the porch.

I had just enough time to calm myself down so it didn’t look like I was waiting for

him. I looked down the road at the sound of an approaching vehicle. It was Mike’s truck.

He had a large red Ford F350, It looked large enough to carry or pull anything a man

would ever need. When he got out of his truck I noticed he had on a muscle shirt and a

pair of old jeans. He looked mighty fine.

46
 “Hi ya Eva,” he said with a big smile and a wave.

“Hey Mike,” I answered as my heart skipped a beat. What is wrong with me, I’m

acting like a school girl?

“I’ve got your hot water tank on the back of the truck. I’ll take it down and get it

installed for you.”

I watched as he unloaded it with a dolly, his biceps flexed as he wrestled with the

tank.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked.

“No, just stay back because if this breaks loose I don’t want you to get hurt, I’ll need

my nurse to dust off her first aid skills to save me.” He said with a smile as he winked at

me over his shoulder. I watched him unload the tank and maneuver it down the basement

steps.

“Hey are you hungry? I was just going to make my dinner.”

“You won’t have any water for awhile till I get things hooked up.” He called up the

stairs.

“That’s alright I have everything ready it will only take about forty five minutes.

Would you like something?” Please say yes, I thought to myself as I crossed my fingers.

“Sure, I might have this done in time.”

I smiled to myself and thought “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I

went into the kitchen and put the potatoes in the oven.

When the potatoes were about done I seared the chicken and them put it in the oven to

finish cooking. I prepared a salad and set the table. Just as I was finishing dinner Mike

called up the stairs.

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 “Could you try the hot water, just turn it on and let it run.”

I turned on the faucet and the water sputtered for a moment, and then ran at full force.

“It’s working Mike!” I hollered back down to him.

“Great!” I heard him bounding up the steps. “That’s the fastest I have ever installed

one of those, plying me with food will do the job every time.” He said smiling at me.

“Smells great Eva.”

“Go wash up and I will get it all on the table.”

I got everything from the oven and placed it on the table, got out a couple of sodas, sat

down and waited for Mike. When he returned and sat at the table he let out a whistle.

“Boy this looks great.”

“Thanks.” I said blushing ever so slightly. “Dig in.”

“Don’t mind if I do ma’am.” He said again with that same phony southern accent.

“Oh just eat.”

Mike helped himself to some of everything. We passed the next half hour just chatting

about nothing in particular but I enjoyed it. When we were done I started clearing the

table and he jumped up to help.

“You don’t have to help.”

“I know, but if you haven’t noticed yet I like helping you.” He said while flashing a

big smile. “I think I have made a second job out of helping you. I’m sorry to see it come

to and end.”

“Why does it have to come to an end?” I asked as knots starting forming in my

stomach.

48
 “Well if you haven’t noticed I have finished all the jobs you hired me for. I’d thought

about going around breaking a few things just to have an excuse for you to call me back.

But I decided that was against the honest plumber’s oath that I had to swear to before I

got my license.” He said with a chuckle as he raised his hand in a kind of Boy Scout look

pledge.

I chuckled to. “So… What do you want me to break so you can come back?” I asked

with a fast wave of heat running through my whole body. I bet if I touched my face right

now I would burn my own hand. I am never this forward, what has gotten into me?

“Let’s get the formalities out of the way first.” Mike reached in his pocket and handed

me his bill.

What had I done? I was so embarrassed; I thought he was interested in me. I was so

humiliated I just wanted to crawl under a rock. “Let me get my checkbook.” I walked

from the kitchen into my bedroom, sat down on my bed, pulled out my purse and got my

check book. I wrote Mike’s check and sat there and just looked at it for a moment. How

can I look at him again? I made such a mistake, I thought he liked me. Well I better get

this over with. I held my head high, even though I wanted to hide, and walked into the

kitchen.

“Here you go Mike, the reward for all your hard work.” I handed him his check.

“Thanks.” He said as he took the check and placed it in his back pocket.

“Not gonna ask to see three forms of ID to accept the check?” I said trying to lighten

my mood.

“Now that the formalities are out of the way, I was going to ask you out on a date. I

have actually been dying to ask you out, but I never date a client.”

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 “Well actually I am not a client any more.” I said as I felt a blush flash through my

entire body.

“That’s true.” He said as he gently took my hand. “The problem is, I bid this big job,

and I found out a few days ago that my bid was accepted.

“That’s great!” I said happily.

“Well the job is in Kentucky.” While I listened to him my smile faded. “A couple I

had worked for around here moved to Kentucky and they asked me to remodel the house

they just bought.

“Oh I see….. When do you leave?”

“I should have left three days ago, but I wanted to spend a little more time with you.”

My heart skipped a beat. “You put off your job for me?”

“Yeah… I wanted to make sure you wouldn’t forget me because I plan on taking you

out on a date the day I come back.”

“So when are you leaving?”

“Well, I am spending tomorrow with Linda then taking her to my mothers before I

leave.”

“So when will you be back?” I asked.

“I think it’s going to take about two months for me to finish everything. Will you still

remember me in two months?” He asked with a smile.

With my free hand I shoved his shoulder. “I don’t think I will forget you. You kinda

grew on me.”

“Yeah,” he said chuckling, “like a bad fungus.” He then got this serious look on his

face and said. “To make this official, Ms. Eva Good, will you go out with me in two

50
months and a day? Oh and by the way the extra day is so I can drive home to you and, oh

yeah take a shower.” He said with a smile.

“Yes I accept sir, I am already counting down.”

“Eva I hate to end this but I promised my little girl that I would be home in time to

tuck her in tonight, I’ve got to go.”

Not even trying to hide my disappointment, “Alright, will you at least call and let me

know you are alright on an occasion?”

“Sure I will, um… can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Would you mind terribly if I gave you, not a good bye kiss, but a see ya later kiss?”

He asked with a teasing smile.

I closed my eyes and slightly parted my lips. I felt his lips brush lightly against mine

as he squeezed my hands.

“Wow.” He said a little breathless. “That better be all for now or I might not make it

home to tuck Linda in.”

We both laughed as I walked him to the door. “Call me.” I said.

“I will.” He said as he got into his truck. I stood there and watched him peel out of the

drive. With a beep and a wave he made his way down the road.

When I got back in the house I was happy. I was probably happier than I had been in a

good while. I actually have something to look forward to. Granted it was two months

away but I felt like my life was finally starting to change for the good. If I could hold out

two more months, that’s just sixty days, I have a feeling I will start having fun again. I

51
locked the front door and checked the kitchen door. Everything was closed for the night. I

walked back the hall to my room and found Tink purring loudly at the foot of my bed.

“Well Tink, things are looking better for me. I have a date in two months and Jen will

be here around lunchtime tomorrow.” I couldn’t believe how excited I was to tell her all

about Mike.

“Oh by the way Tink you will be sharing your room with Jen tomorrow, when I

emailed her I asked her to spend the night.” I planned to do the slumber party kind of

stuff; rent movies and pop popcorn, and who knows, maybe some ghost stories.

I spent then next couple of hours cleaning the house. I loaded the dishwasher Mike

installed, did laundry in the washer and dryer he installed. I couldn’t keep my mind off of

Mike. I dusted and vacuumed till the house looked clean.

I decided to take a shower before bed. I turned on the hot water and then undressed.

When I stepped in the shower the water was already hot. “Bless that man’s soul,” I said

as I chuckled. I guess if I couldn’t have Mike for the next sixty or so days at least I could

enjoy the fruits of his labor while I think of him. I finished my shower, toweled off, hung

the towel on the doorknob to dry and walked naked to my room. It’s funny; I never

walked around naked at Keith’s place. According to Keith that constituted an invitation

for sex, when in actuality it was just a way of getting from the bathroom to the bedroom.

Here, on my own, I was free to walk around naked any time I wanted and not have to

worry about anyone getting the wrong idea. In my room I pulled out a nightgown, got

dressed, checked the doors again, turned out the lights and crawled into bed. I fell asleep

thinking of Mike.

52
 Chapter six

The next morning I woke up around 9am. I went into the bathroom, did my morning

routine, applied makeup and French braided my hair. I guess I look presentable. I wanted

Jen to think I was doing well so it was important that I at least looked like I was. I picked

out a corral shirt and a pair of denim capris and put on my favorite pair of walking shoes.

Jen and I will be spending quite a few hours on our feet. I went into the kitchen and

decided to bake a coffee cake. I always thought the smell of something baking made a

house seem homier. I made my coffee and busied myself baking the coffee cake. Now

Suzie homemaker I wasn’t but I could follow a recipe. In less than an hour I had the cake

in the oven and my mess cleaned. I sat at the kitchen table and closed my eyes and

inhaled deeply. The cinnamon smell from the oven brought back memories of sitting in

the kitchen watching my Mom enjoy baking. Mom loved to cook and bake and she taught

me a thing or two in the kitchen. I was a good student but I could never hope to compare

to her abilities. It had been over six years since I lost my family, the hardest thing after

the burials was cleaning out Mom’s kitchen. So many memories were in every dish and

baking pan. Most of my parents and Grandmother’s belongings I donated to local

charities, but Mom’s beloved kitchen essentials, I kept and packed in my storage unit.

Thanks to leaving all of my kitchen gadgets in Keith’s place I now have an opportunity to

enjoy my Mother’s things. And when I touch them I get to enjoy a memory or two that

comes back with using the familiar utensils.

I don’t know how long I sat lost in warm memories of baking parties with Mom and

Grandma. Memories of us baking, laughing and of course tasting our creations, when a

53
knock at the door brought me back to reality. I answered the door and there was Jen, all

smiles. I was so happy to see her. I opened the screen door and wrapped my arms around

her.

“It’s so good to see you Jen.”

“I’ve missed you too girl.” Jen said warmly.

We walked into the house. Jen gave an approving “Wow this place is great!”

“Thanks.”

“It smells great too, what is that a scented candle?”

“No, I baked a coffee cake to munch on before we hit the flea market.”

“I want a tour of the house first.” She chirped. Jen was always so animated and her

excitement and positive outlook were always contagious.

I gave her a quick tour, and then let her freshen up after her two hour drive. “I’ll meet

you in the kitchen when you’re done. Want tea or coffee?”

“Tea please.” She called from the other side of the bathroom door.

I put on the water for tea and cut the cake. A few minuets later Jen came into the

kitchen and sat at the table, just as the kettle started to whistle. I poured the water into the

cups and set the cake on the table.

“So how’s everything in West Virginia?” I asked.

“Work is ok, not as much fun now that you are gone.” She answered. “Um… Keith

came to my house last night.”

“What? He came to your house? Why?”

“He begged me to tell him where you were.”

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 “Did you tell him?” I asked as my brows furrowed, I didn’t want him to know where I

was yet.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him where you were.” She said reassuringly. “But I did tell

him I was still in contact with you.”

“Why did you tell him that?” I asked frustrated.

“Eva, I couldn’t lie to him. He is so worried about you. I just wanted to ensure him

you were safe.”

“Oh… Did he know you were coming to see me today?”

“No, but I did promise to let him know if you needed him.”

“Why in the hell did you promise that?”

“For one reason, I thought it was nice that someone will be there for you if you were

in trouble. For another reason, it was the only way to get him out of my house.” She said

a little hotly. “Alright Eva, lets change the subject…. So are there any cute guys around

here?”

I chuckled, “yes there is this one guy.” I said as a smile spread across my face and

touched my heart.

“Who is he, and when can I meet him?” she asked excitedly.

“Well his name is Mike… He’s nice, funny and good with his hands.”

At that statement Jen’s smile widened, “exactly how good is he with his hands?”

“Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter.” I said gently pushing her shoulder.

“He is the guy who installed all of my appliances and my hot water tank.”

“Oh. What I was thinking sounded like more fun,” she chuckled. “You didn’t mention

what he looks like?”

55
 I described him to her and explained why she couldn’t meet him yet.

“Well that sucks, he asked you out for two months from now? What are you supposed

to do till then?”

“Well I work three days a week, my house still needs work, and I don’t know what

else.” I thought for a moment, “I know, hang out with my dirty minded friend.” I said

laughing.

Jen smiled, “Anything else going on with you?”

“Well I have had a few strange experiences in the house.”

“Tell me, tell me.” She said as she moved to the end of her seat. She looked like a little

girl who was hoping to be scared by a ghost story. I proceeded to tell her about the brush

on my face I felt in the living room, the feeling of someone behind me in my bedroom. I

also told her about the man I saw standing in the hall, and the odd dream I had last night.

“Wow that sounds like a haunting. Have you done any research, has anybody ever

died here?”

“No, I haven’t, I just brushed it off. I really don’t think it’s anything.”

“We have to do research, this is so interesting.”

“We?”

“Yeah, I have always wanted to experience a haunted house.”

“Haunted? Come on… it isn’t haunted.”

“Just humor me please, my next visit back we do research.”

“Alright.” I said reluctantly, “We can research my scary haunted house, but for now

lets get to the flea market before all the fleas are sold.”

“Oh Eva, that’s an old one, you need new material.”

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 “Let’s go.” I said getting up and heading for the door. “Are you coming or do you

want to stay here and have a séance?”

“Naw, we can do that later…lets go.” She said as she followed.

We drove in my car to the flea market. The market was bustling with shoppers and the

people my Mom would have called the “touchers and feelers,” or I guess you could call

them browsers. Over the next few hours we made several trips to my car to unload our

purchases. I bought some antique country kitchen utensils to hang on the wall in my

kitchen. I also purchased a working victrola and several records for my living room. Jen

picked up some used books, a vintage jewelry box and something in a large brown paper

bag.

“What’s in the bag Jen?”

“This is for when we get back to the house.” She said slyly.

“Sure,” I said half paying attention. “Are you hungry yet?” I asked as I looked at my

watch. It was nearly 5pm and my stomach was growling.

“Yeah, spending money always makes me hungry.”

“Do you want food on a stick?” I asked twisting my face in mock disgust, pointing at

a corndog stand. “Or do you want to go to a restaurant and eat like real grown ups?”

“I feel a grown up moment coming on, let’s hit the place down the road. Have you

been there yet?”

“No, but it’s a big chain place so I guess it will be like all the other ones in the tri-state

area.”

We arrived at the restaurant, took our seats and ordered two hot roast beef sandwiches

with mashed potatoes. While we were waiting for our dinners we chatted.

57
 “What was in the bag?” I asked again this time paying attention.

“I’ll show you at the house.”

“Why won’t you tell me now?” I asked.

“Because, I don’t want you to have time to think about it.” She said with a chuckle.

I took a long drink of the ice water the waitress had brought to the table.

“Can I ask you something Eva?” Jen asked nervously.

“Sure.” I said shrugging my shoulders.

“What really happened between you and Keith?” You never really told any of us, and

Keith has told me his side, I want to hear yours.”

I took a deep breath, “well it’s a long story.”

“You have a captive audience, you’re driving.” She said with a smile.

“The short version is, Keith finally asked me to marry him after five years of living

together. I guess he got nervous because he started running around with someone from

work. I think she was the woman who did payroll. He denied it at first, but finally after a

few weeks he did admit to it. I was devastated. I moved into the spare bedroom and gave

him his space. I knew he would eventually decide he had made a mistake and choose

me.”

At that statement she had a look of pity on her face as she shook her head. “Why did

you put up with that?”

“I don’t really know why, but he did eventually stop seeing her and decided he still

wanted to marry me.”

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 “And that is when you left?”

“No I hung in, and started planning the wedding again. I thought everything was going

to be fine.”

“Awh Eva, why didn’t you talk to us?” she questioned.

“I guess it was stupid pride, I was ashamed of hanging on like a desperate school girl.

I was also mad at myself for allowing it to happen.”

The waitress brought our dinners, and refilled our glasses.

“Enjoy, and let me know if you need anything else,” The waitress said with a smile.

“Thank you,” we both said in unison, she smiled and walked away.

As we ate the conversation continued.

“So what made you leave?” she asked through a forkful of mashed potatoes.

“Well… I tried to make it work. I just couldn’t get past the trust thing.” I said while

salting my food. “Every time he touched me I kept thinking, I wonder if he touched her

the same way. I just couldn’t handle it.”

“So is that when you decided to leave?”

“Yeah, I found a new job and a new home all in one month. I know it was kind of a

spur of the moment decision, but I had to get away.”

“Why so far away, couldn’t you have found something in Parkersburg?”

“I figured distance was the best band-aid I could find. I had to make sure I couldn’t

run into him.”

“So because of him you turned your life completely upside down?” she said with a

frown.

59
 “I have a feeling I am doing the right thing, and if I’m not, it will be a learning

experience.”

“Well He..” she said with anger, “said you were just trying to teach him a lesson. He

also says he knows you will be back soon.”

“Oh he does now?”

“Yeah, he said you were just confused and nervous about the wedding. He failed to

mention the cheating, just like a man.” She said in disgust.

“Can we change the subject to some nice conversation? I think talking about him is

giving me heart burn.” I chuckled as I covered a fake burp.

Jen spent the rest of the meal catching me up on all of the local gossip of the hospital.

When we were done eating I paid the check and Jen left the tip.

By the time we got home and transferred her purchases to her car, and carried the

victrola into my living room it was getting dark outside.

“Alright woman what’s in the big bag?” I asked accusingly.

She smiled and picked up the bag, “It’s an Ouija board.”

“A what?” I asked surprised.

“A Ouija board, I thought we could get to the bottom of your strange happenings

around here.” She said proudly. “Are you scared?”

“No, but… I’m not sure I believe in those things.”

“Well just humor me… I have used them before and its fun.” She sounded excited, as

though she would begin jumping up and down at any moment.

“Come on Eva, lets play this for awhile and when we are done we can watch movies

until day break if you want.” She said trying to strike a bargain with me.

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 “Alright.” I said defeated, “you set up while I take a trip to the bathroom.”

When I got back she had everything set up.

“Sit on the floor with me and we will start.” She said.

Jen and I got down on our knees on opposite sides of the coffee table with the Ouija

board between us.

“Are you ready Eva?”

“Yes.” I said with a gulp.

We rested our fingertips lightly on the planchette. I looked at Jen; I could see that she

was nervous. She looked as nervous as I felt.

“What now?” I asked Jen.

“Ask it a question.” She said in a hushed voice. “Ask it out loud.”

“What should I ask?”

“Whatever you want to know,” she sounded like a slightly frustrated mother of a

toddler who asked why too many times.

I took a deep breath and said out loud, “is there anybody here with us tonight?”

We waited for a response. After what seemed like minutes I exhaled realizing I was

holding my breath.

“See I told you Jen, these things don’t work.” I said as I started to remove my hand

from the planchette. Just before my hand completely left the surface of the board Jen’s

eyes widened and a yelp escaped from her lips. “What’s wrong Jen?”

“Put your fingers back!” she choked out in a whisper.

“Keeping my eyes on her I placed my fingers back on the planchette and gasped. It

was slightly vibrating, almost like a hum but without any sound. It slowly started to

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move, jerky and unsteady at first. It went in circles in the center of the board, almost like

it was deciding what its answer will be. It stopped on the word YES.

With my eyes wide I looked at Jen and mouthed the words “What now?”

“Ask another one.” She whispered. I could see the terror creeping into her eyes.

Again out loud “Will you tell us your name?”

Quickly the planchette shot to NO.

“How about a first initial?” Jen asked.

It didn’t move. We looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. “I guess it is done.”

I said. We lifted our hands and the planchette slid across the board to the letter J. We both

jumped back and stared at the board.

“I thought you had to touch the thing to make it work?”

“That’s what the directions say.” Jen whispered.

“The directions, I thought you said you did this before.” I said accusingly.

“I have but… someone at the end of the evening always admitted to moving the damn

thing. We were always just playing around.” She said apologetically. “I have never seen

or heard of one moving on its own.”

“So you mean to tell me that I am playing with this damn thing, that you have never

taken seriously, and its answering questions on its own.” I said hotly as I knocked the

planchette on the floor.

I stormed out of the living room toward the kitchen, flipped on the light, went to the

fridge, got out a beer and sat at the kitchen table.

“Can I have one of those? Jen asked.

“Help yourself,” I said waving toward the fridge.

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 “Thanks, I am sorry Eva, I didn’t mean to cause a problem.

“It’s ok I guess… I just over reacted, I’m sorry too. I guess I’m just nervous.”

“Hey,” Jen said after a long drink of beer. “Let’s put that thing away before it scares

us any more.”

“Sounds good to me.” I said with a smile.

We walked into the living room, and there on the coffee table was the planchette

balanced on its tip in the center of the board. From behind me Jen was saying something

that sounded like a prayer under her breath. The planchette started to twirl like a top.

Faster and faster it spun. I was frozen in place, my heart was hammering against my

chest. Curls of smoke started to drift up from the board directly under the planchette. The

entire board lifted off of the table and rotated in the air. A loud crack cut through the

room as the board exploded into many pieces. Where the board had been; there remained

a red ominous looking swirling orb. It reminded me of when I was a little girl and my

grandfather used to blow bubbles for me while smoking. The smoke would swirl

suspended in the bubble till it brushed against something. It would eventually pop,

releasing the smoke from its bubble prison. The red orb didn’t look as if it would pop so

easily. It was beautiful but menacing. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. The orb started

moving slowly around the room. Then with a sudden shift in direction it shot toward my

head. I screamed and landed on the floor. Jen stumbled backwards and slammed against

the wall. She slid to the floor. I raised my head just in time to see the orb shatter through

the kitchen door window and shoot toward the old barn then disappear into the

foundation.

“Are you Ok Jen? I asked as I crossed the room to where she lay.

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 “What the hell was that!” she yelled near hysteria.

“Calm down hun… breathe… I’m not sure what it is.”

“I…I…I…I have to get out of here!”

“Jen… Jen… Look at me… Jen” Her eyes were wildly darting around the room. I

knew if I couldn’t get a hold on her hysteria she would go into shock. I cupped her face in

my hands and said loudly “Look at me!” She yelped at the volume of my voice but I did

get her to focus on my face. “Are you listening to me?” I asked. Her eyes were still wild,

but I could tell she was listening. “You know I have had a lot of work done around here

right?” she shook her head. “Well the electric was to come next. I bet it was just a power

surge from the light overhead, “see,” I said pointing to the light fixture. It has singe

marks around it, and it has burnt out.” Jen looked up at the light and shook her head. “Are

you alright now? I want to go switch the light off before anything else happens.”

“G…G…Go ahead, but turn on some lamps first I don’t want to be in the dark.”

I crossed the room, turned on a few lamps then turned off the ceiling light.

“There I feel safer already; I have to have Mike look at that.” I crossed back to Jen and

extended a hand to help her up. When she was standing she was a little unstable. “Did

you hit your head?” I asked.

“No I don’t think I did.” She rubbed her head to make sure. “No sore spots.” She said

with a weak smile. “Do you really think that the electric is all it was?”

I wanted her to think I did, but I wasn’t sure. How would that explain everything that

happened tonight? “Yes old houses have all kinds of problems.” It was almost like her

mind wasn’t letting her remember the spinning planchette, which I was thankful for.

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 “Eva,” she said hesitantly, “I can’t stay here tonight. Please don’t be mad at me, but I

just had the Hell scared out of me, bad electricity or not,” She was rambling nervously by

this point.

“Jen I won’t be mad, but are you alright to drive?”

“Yeah, I am just going about a half hour down the road and get a hotel room. I just

can’t stay here. How about the next time you come see me.” She said nervously as she

went around the room picking up her purse, overnight bag and keys.

“I wish you wouldn’t leave when it’s this dark.” I said.

“I have driven in the dark before, I will call you when I get to the hotel,” she said as

she hugged me and backed to the door. She gave the living room one last quick glance

then darted out the door. “Bye, I’m sorry.” She called back from the front door. She got

in her car and was gone.

I closed and locked the door. I started cleaning up the pieces of the Ouija board that

were left on the floor. I put them in the trash, poured the half empty beers down the drain

and placed them in the recycling bin. My last chore of the evening was taping a piece of

cardboard across the broken window for the night. I turned off the light and walked down

the hall to the bathroom. I undressed and got in the shower. The water felt wonderful, the

lavender from my shampoo filled the room. None of this could block out what I had seen

in the living room this evening. What was it? What is going on around here? In a way I

wish my mind could block out tonight’s events like Jen’s had. I got out of the shower and

walked to my room. I put on a pair of shorts and a baby doll night shirt and crawled into

bed.

The phone rang and I jumped. I picked up the phone, “Hello?’

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 “Hi Eva, it’s me, I made it to the hotel.”

“Oh I’m so glad to hear your voice, are you alright?” I asked concerned.

“I’m fine… sorry… I just had to get away from that Ouija board.” She confessed.

“It’s alright, I understand. Will you call me when you get home tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” she said hesitantly.

“I had a great time with you today, I’m glad you came.” I said cheerfully, hoping this

would lighten her mood.

“Yeah it was fun for awhile. I gotta go Eva, I am getting kind of tired.” She said with

what I could tell was a fake yawn.

“Ok Jen, call soon please.” I almost begged, but I had a feeling this was going to be

the last time I would hear from my friend for awhile.

“Sleep safe Eva.”

“You too Jen, bye.”

“Bye.”

I hung up the phone and sadness settled over me. I knew Jen had been scared by the

Ouija board tonight. While I was consumed by thoughts of tonight’s events, Tink jumped

on the bed.

“Did you see that tonight Tink?” I asked looking into her eyes. She just started to purr

and licked my nose. I decided to leave the bedside lamp on and crawled under the covers

waiting for sleep.

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 Chapter seven

When I opened my eyes everything again was in shades of tan and brown. I tossed

back my covers and looked down at myself. I was no longer wearing the baby doll set I

had put on before I fell asleep. I was now in a long light colored cotton night gown with

lace and ribbon roses covering the bodice.

“I’m dreaming again.” I said out loud.

I crossed the room and looked down the hall to the living room. Something was

glowing. I wasn’t scared, but I did feel pulled toward it. I quietly walked down the hall;

everything was still in shades of brown, the faded picture effect. When I got to the living

room there he was standing in the center of the room. The lid to the victrola was up and

music was playing.

He smiled warmly and extended his hand to me. “You came.”

I touched his hand slowly. The brown and tan colors washed slowly away. They

looked like a child’s chalk drawing being washed away by a brief light shower. I looked

around the room. He had placed at least twenty lit candles in various places around the

room. The soft glow made is so peaceful and yes… romantic. An unfamiliar song floated

through the air from the victrola.

“Shall we dance?” he asked.

I just looked at him as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me slightly

closer. We started swaying in time to the music, as we did his face nestled in my hair.

“You smell wonderful,” he said inhaling deeply.

“Thank you,” I answered as I lay my head on his chest.

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 He started humming along with the song and the deep tone of his voice reverberated in

his muscular chest. This felt so good, so comfortable. We danced like this through quite a

few songs. I honestly lost count and just let myself get lost in the feeling of being held.

When the record was done he pulled back slightly and looked down into my eyes.

“Thank you for the dance.”

“Y..y..your welcome.”

“Please don’t be scared Eva.” He pleaded looking into my eyes.

At that moment I knew he was not to be feared. I can’t explain it but I felt at peace

with him. “Why am I here?”

“You are here because you want to be.”

“What? I don’t even know where here is?” I said confused.

“Eva, I can’t force you to be here… some part of you wanted to come.” He said as he

led me to the sofa. “Please sit down and I will try to explain.” He said motioning for me

to sit.

“I hope you can.” I said as I sat down.

He sat next to me still holding my hand. “My Dearest Eva, I am not sure of all of this

myself, but… for all the years that I have been here, you are the only one that I have ever

been able to visit in dreams.” He said with a confused look on his face. “You are actually

the only person who has seen me. Sure others have felt my presence, but you actually

saw me. You even saw your cat jump through me.” He chuckled slightly at the memory.

“I knew then there was something special about you, I am drawn to you. I can’t explain

the feeling. When you fell asleep thinking about me, or the image of me, I was able to

enter your dream. I never thought you would be able to interact with me, I thought I

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would just observe your dreams and get to know you better.” He said with a small guilty

smile on his face. And when your dream took you back to my time, I was able to

manipulate the outcome.

“What… I am so confused, what do you mean?”

“Eva,” he said caressing my hand. “I died in 1933 in the barn behind the house and I

have never been able to leave. Over the years many people have lived here, moving

things, changing things and all I could do was watch. Sure I could occasionally move

something to get their attention, but you are the first to see me. You are the first I have

been able to interact with.”

“Wait,” I said pulling my hand from his. “Are you trying to tell me you are a ghost?”

“I guess you could call me that, I don’t know. All I know is I attended my own wake

right here in this very room, and for the last sixty five years I have been so lonely. So, if

you don’t mind, I would like to continue to visit you in your dreams.”

“It sounds like I don’t have a choice now do I?”

“Yes you do, I promise if you don’t want to see me, I won’t force you.” He said a little

defensively.

“So if I don’t think about you this will all automatically go away?”

“I will stop visiting you in your dreams, but I will never go away. I am drawn to you

for some reason. This,” he said gesturing between both of us, “feels like we belong

together.”

“How can that be?” I asked bewildered.

“I don’t know Eva, but when I am with you I no longer feel alone. It is comfortable,

like we were meant to be together.” He said as he grasped my hand again. “Be honest

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with yourself Eva, you feel it too, or you would have left the house screaming the first

time you saw me.”

“I don’t know what I feel, I am so confused.” I said shaking my head as if trying to

shake an unpleasant thought from its confines. I got up and started pacing across his, or

my, living room. “So you tell me I am still sleeping in my bed, but I am here with you?”

Turning and pacing the other direction, “and, you are dead… but… I am able to see you

and feel you in my dreams?” I stopped and looked at Jesse for an answer.

“Yes.”

“Yes… yes… is that all you have to say? Yes!” I was loosing control; my voice was

reaching a higher pitch with each word.

“Yes Eva, that is all I have to say, I don’t know anymore than that. If I did know more

I would share the answers with you. Please calm down and maybe we can work this out

together.”

“Together? There is no together, there is just me dreaming and you are a figment of

my imagination because of the Ouija board and everything that happened tonight.”

“What Ouija board?”

“That’s it, this is all just a dream, and this really can’t be happening… you really

aren’t here. You are just my dream.”

Jesse crossed the living room and grabbed my shoulders firmly, “What Ouija board?”

he asked sternly.

I stared blankly into his face lost in thought, my mind racing, trying to wrap it around

the ghost thing.

“Eva!” he said shaking me gently.

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 I snapped back and focused all my attention on him, “What?”

“What Ouija board?” he demanded.

“Jen and I bought a Ouija board today and tried it out this evening.”

“What happened?” He demanded loudly.

“Don’t yell at me! I’m having enough trouble with all of this without some damn

ghost yelling at me!” At that moment that sounded so funny to me that I busted out

laughing. “You don’t hear many people saying that very often now do ya?”

“Eva please, this is important, what happened?” He asked seriously this time without

yelling.

“Well we played with the thing and it started answering on its own.” Again for a

moment I was lost in thought. “It gave it’s initial as J… was that you? J for Jesse?”

“No it wasn’t me.” He said with a sober look on his face. “What else happened?”

“It blew up.” I said matter of factly.

“What?” This time his voice raised slightly in pitch.

“It spun in the air and blew up… then a red orb was left where the board was.”

“Where is the orb?” He asked nervously.

“Damn thing blew through my window and went out to the old foundation.”

“Eva, please stay away from the foundation.”

“What was it?” I asked

“I can’t get into it now... but please stay away from the foundation.

“Tell me what it was.” I demanded.

“Later please.” He begged. “We don’t have much time.”

“Why?” I asked.

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 “Just this once could you please listen to me and stay away from the foundation by the

barn.” His eyes pleaded with me.

“Alright, I will stay out of the foundation for now, but promise me you will tell me

why soon.” I said demandingly.

“So does that mean you will be coming back to visit me?” he said with a slight smile.

“I guess I have to return if I want to know what is going on around here.”

“Will you be back tomorrow night?” He asked hopefully.

“Yes Jesse I will return tomorrow, but you owe me some answers.” I said wagging my

finger toward him.

“I promise my darling Eva, tomorrow,” he said as he smiled and looked down into my

eyes. “May I ask you something?”

“Are you sure we have time?” I asked teasingly.

He frowned. “I am serious.”

“Sure.”

“May I kiss you goodbye?”

I blushed and looked at my toes. “If you would like,” I said nervously.

He lifted my chin and I closed my eyes in anticipation. I felt his lips near my ear,

“until tonight my darling Eva.” I felt his lips gently kiss my cheek.

I opened my eyes to look into his handsome face. I was surprised to see that he was

not there, and I was back in my bedroom and it was morning. I lay in bed trying to figure

out my dream… date… I didn’t know what to call it. Could it have been real? Was it just

a reaction to the Ouija board? At that moment I wasn’t even sure that had happened. I

guess this all could just be a reaction to my split with Keith and with Mike leaving.

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 Mike, I wonder how he is? I wonder if he is thinking about me. Is it smart to be looking

forward to a date with Mike when I have only been away from Keith for a short time?

“Alright girl, time to get my head back together and get out of bed.”

I performed my morning routine and fixed my breakfast. “Tink kitty, kitty, kitty,” I

called. She came walking in from the hall and joined me in the kitchen. “Boy Tink what

is going on with me? I think I might be losing my mind.”

Tink purred and jumped on the counter, I bent my face down to nuzzle her soft head.

“Are you hungry?” She meowed and I took that to be a yes. I got her breakfast and placed

the bowl on the floor as I placed mine on the table. I sat eating, mulling over the events of

the last evening and last night. Did any of that really happen? Was any of this possible?

Could I have really been visited by a ghost? Even this question made last night seem like

the perfect plot for a bad movie. How can I prove this one way or the other? Mrs.

Zimmerman did mention the Gunn family. Was this really happening or am I just so

desperately lonely that I made up someone to spend my time with? Is Jesse my version of

an imaginary friend?

Then it dawned on me, I will research everything I can find on Jesse Gunn at the local

library and its archives. Maybe then I will at least get a few answers. “Tink, I am going to

the library today, but first I need to call Jen.”

I picked up my phone and dialed Jen’s cell.

“Hello? She answered.

“Hi Jen how was your night?” I asked cheerfully.

“Ok I guess, how was yours? Were you able to sleep?”

“Like a baby,” I guess not filling her in on my imaginary friend was not lying to her.

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 “Hey why don’t you come back and we can go shopping again?”

“Eva, I can’t come back. I don’t think I will ever come back.” She said morosely, “I

can’t get the image of that Ouija board spinning out of my head. And every time I close

my eyes that red thing is there scaring the crap out of me.”

“But we’re both alright, no one got hurt.” I know I was fighting a loosing battle just by

the sound of her voice.

“All I know is that I am never going to do that again, and this Sunday I will be in the

front pew of my church.”

“Jen don’t…” She didn’t let me finish my thought.

“I have to go, and I’m sorry to say this but please don’t call… I want to put this all

behind me. I will call you when I can.”

“Jen…”

“I’m really sorry but I have to go, bye.” And she hung up.

I hung up the phone terribly frustrated. I understood her position but… ugh! I stomped

out of the kitchen leaving the mess till later. I got dressed and headed for the door. Just as

I was stepping out I had a crazy thought. I turned back to face the living room and

announced “I don’t know if you are really here or not Jesse, but due to all of this I have

lost a friend.” I thought for a moment. “I have decided to go out for awhile, so you have

the house to yourself to do whatever it is you do to pass the time.” At that I walked out

through the door, locked it and headed to my car.

Twenty minuets later I was at the library walking up to the desk to speak to a pleasant

looking middle aged woman who was the quintessential librarian.

“Hello, may I help you with something?” she asked in a hushed tone.

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 “I’m not sure. I’m looking for information on past owners of the home I just

purchased.”

“Do you have any names or dates?” she asked with a smile.

“Yes a Mr. Jesse Clarke Gun who died in 1933 and that’s all I have” I said

apologetically.

“That’s more than enough, follow me,” she walked from behind the desk and across

the lobby to a glass room filled with computers. “Just type his name and the date into our

ancestry site and it will come up with information.” Then she added, “If you want to print

anything we charge by the page.”

“Thank you,” I said with a smile.

She walked from the room leaving me alone. I pulled out a note pad from my purse

and started typing in what little information I had to work with. First I typed in Jesse’s

name, then the name of my new home town. The search came up with a few census

records that included his name and I printed what was available. I did another search and

came up with a link to newspaper documents in our area. I clicked on the link and it

prompted me to type in the person’s name and date of birth. I entered Jesse’s information

and clicked enter. A few articles came up with Jesse’s name connecting him to the county

fair and some of the businesses around town. There was also a human interest story about

socials held at the Gunn farm. I skimmed through the articles and when I got to the

headline of the last article I gasped.

Two Local Men Killed In Barn Fire

My hands started to tremble as I touched the screen, not believing what I was reading.

As I scrolled down through the article, a feeling of deep sadness started to come over me.

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I felt a single tear run down my cheek as I hit the print command on the computer. It

bothered me to read that two men were cut down in the prime of their lives. Lives never

lived, dreams never fulfilled. I logged out of the computer and walked over to the printer

as I gathered up my copied census records and articles. Walking back out to the front

desk the librarian’s smile dropped when she saw the expression on my face.

“Did you find your information?” she asked.

“Yes I did, thank you so much, I really appreciate your help.” I smiled weakly.

“You’re welcome,” she said as she counted my copies. She kept stealing glances at me

as she tallied up my final cost. “May I ask you something?” she asked shyly.

“Yes.”

“Are you alright, can I help you with anything?”

“Thank you, but no, I’m alright.”

“If you don’t mind me saying, your mood has changed quite a bit since you first

walked in.”

“I guess it has.” I came up with a lie to hide what was going on. “I got some bad news

in a text, but I’ll be alright. Thank you again for your concern.”

I paid for my copies and waved what I hoped was a cherry good bye to the librarian

and returned to my car. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next; I sat in my car and

cried. I didn’t understand the overwhelming feeling of loss that I was experiencing. What

was it with this man, or ghost, that had me feeling so connected to him that I would

mourn his loss all these years later. Does this mean I was going to accept his existence as

a ghost? Did this mean I was going to continue to visit him in my dreams? Was this even

possible? I collected myself, wiped the tears and blew my nose.

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 “What now girl?” I asked myself.

Before I even finished asking my own question I already knew what I was going to do.

I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward Mrs. Zimmerman’s

house.

When I pulled into her drive I started to feel foolish. What was I going to do? Am I

going to walk up to her and say “Hey Mrs. Z, I have this ghost in my house that, by the

way, is good looking and he visits me at night. I just wanna know more about him.” I

laughed at what I imagined her face would look like at such an absurd statement.

I had decided to leave when I noticed she was peaking through her kitchen window. I

drew in a deep breath and thought, what the heck, and got out of the car. I walked up to

her door and I heard her call, “come in,” even before I knocked on the door.

I walked in. “Hi Mrs. Zimmerman.” I said with a big smile.

“Hi Eva, I didn’t know I was due for a visit.”

“Well really you aren’t, this is a social call. That is if you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all” she beamed as a huge smile grew on her face.

“Great, how have you been?” I asked honestly.

“Doing fine honey, how are you?” she said as she closely examined my face. “You

look like you have something on your mind.”

“Well… I was wondering if you wanted to tell me more about my house, well the

Gunn house.”

“I’d love to actually. After your visit I dug through some old pictures and found one

of Jesse Gunn and his friend Jackson McKinsey. I’ll get them, just one moment; I put it

in my Bible.” She slowly got up from her chair and crossed the room to get her Bible.

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 “How did you come to have a picture of Jesse?” I asked her.

“Well,” she said as she handed me the picture. “My oldest sister was dating Jackson

when the barn burnt.”

I looked at the picture. Jesse looked exactly as he did in my dreams. Jackson was of a

smaller build and had what looked like red hair but it was hard to tell with the faded black

and white picture.

Mrs. Zimmerman sat back in her chair. “Yes my sister Annabelle always expected her

and Jackson to marry, but when he and Jesse got caught in the fire, well…The poor dear

never got over it, and refused to go out with anyone else. For some reason she always

said the fire was her fault.”

“Oh my, her fault? Why did she feel that way?”

“She never told anyone but on her death bed I could hear her mumbling that she

couldn’t wait to explain everything to Jackson. But that was all I could make out of her

delirious mumbles.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that Mrs. Zimmerman.”

“Betty, please call me Betty,” she said with a warm smile.

“Thank you Betty,” I said smiling in return. “Did she ever tell you what Jesse was

like?”

“She would rave about how kind and giving he was. I don’t remember him much, I

was about ten years younger than they were.”

“Oh,” I said sounding disappointed.

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 “Let me think… Well I know after his father passed, his mother and younger siblings

moved to Pittsburgh. There she met and eventually married a wealthy man who took care

of her and the younger children.

“Good for her, that was a terrible way to lose a husband.”

The two, no three older boys, Jesse, George, and Gerald stayed here to run the farm.”

“What happened to the boys?” I asked with real curiosity.

“Well Gerald, the oldest, not wanting to be a farmer his whole life, went away to

college and became a teacher. George stayed till they got the settlement from their

father’s death. Jesse stayed and ran the farm, putting his share of the money to good use

buying cattle and farm machinery. He made the farm very profitable. He became one of

the best known people in town, holding socials in his barn and helping people in the area

when their money became tight. He was known as an all around nice person.”

“He never got married?”

“He might have someday if the fire hadn’t gotten him. He had plenty of women in

town interested in him, but he never went calling on any of them. One of my other

sisters, Melinda, used to try to get his attention. She would bake him sweets and take

them to his house. I know that was very forward of her but… It never worked.”

Wow I was feeling jealous, I can’t believe this. I wonder why something that

happened ages ago caused the nagging tug from the little green monster. “I wonder why it

never worked.” I said.

I don’t know. Melinda was the best looking of my sisters. She always said that Jesse

thought no one was ever good enough for him.”

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 Betty then slipped into talking about her other family members. She left the subject of

Jesse behind. I stayed listening for another half an hour. I eventually looked at my watch

and said, “Oh my look at the time, I have a repair man coming to my house in about an

hour. I better get going” I know I was lying but I wanted to go.

“Well thank you for coming, it was great thinking about my family again. Thanks for

the company” she said as I walked out the door.

“I really enjoyed our visit. I’ll see you in a few days,” I said as I waved and got in my

car.

She waved and went back into her house. My mind was spinning with all the

information I had gathered today. I knew a little about Jesse’s life and his death. Am I

really going to accept that he is real? How could this be happening? Why me? Why after

all these years is he appearing to me? What makes me so special, or crazy, that he wants

to come to me? I have so many questions. Well that settles it; I will try to see him tonight.

I don’t see why I shouldn’t… dreaming is good for the mind. I might as well enjoy my

dreams.

I drove home thinking over all the information I had gotten today. When I got home I

announced to the house, “I’m home, did anybody or any ghost miss me?” I laughed. I put

my papers on my coffee table and crossed to the blinking answering machine. I had a

message, hopefully it was Jen.

I played the message, it was Mike.

“Hi Eva I was hoping to catch you home. I just wanted to let you know I got here safe.

The job seems a little bigger than I had expected. The owners have added a few extra

changes, but I won’t let that keep me from our date. Remember you promised, and don’t

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you go finding another handy man to take my place,” He chuckled at that. “I’ll call again

about 5pm when I take my dinner break.” He seemed to hesitate then he said, “I miss you

already, bye.”

It felt so good to hear his voice. I was a little excited to hear that he would be calling

me back in a few hours. I decided to read my papers later and decided to straighten up

and run the remainder of the boxes up to the attic. I went to change my clothes… can he

see me when I am undressed? I looked around the room, is he watching me now? I

hurried and put on my old clothes and tried to push the idea out of my head

I busied myself with taking the remainder of my boxes to the attic. They were mostly

unopened boxes of Mom and Dad’s stuff I had brought from storage. I couldn’t quite

make myself open the boxes yet, yes I have mom’s kitchen stuff out but, these are her

and Dad’s keep sakes. Gifts from when Dad and she were dating. Another box contained

family photo albums, Dad’s pipes and Mom’s jewelry, just sentimental stuff. In all I

think I carried up fifteen boxes, my old school books that I just couldn’t bear to part with,

and my few Christmas decorations. When I was finished my legs felt like I had been

exercising. I guess fifteen trips up and down a flight of stairs is like exercising.

I looked at my watch and realized it was a quarter till five. My heart skipped a beat,

Mike will be calling soon. I almost skipped to the kitchen with anticipation. I heated up a

bowl of soup in the microwave, grabbed a bottle of water and sat in the living room

waiting for Mike’s call. I turned on the TV but I couldn’t get interested in the program. I

finished my soup and looked at my watch, it was already going on six. Why hadn’t he

called? I took my bowl to the kitchen and cleaned up my mess, put my empty bottle in

the recycling bin and went back to the living room. I tried again to get interested in a

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rerun of a sitcom from the ‘90’s but it didn’t keep my attention and it sure wasn’t keeping

me from watching the clock.

“Why hasn’t he called?” I asked Tink.

The six o’clock local news started. I watched about the local police arrests, the local

weather and about the local forty sixth annual apple festival starting this weekend. The

news ended at six thirty and still no call from Mike. Should I call him? No… I don’t want

to seem desperate, I’ll just wait. What can I do to pass the time? I looked around the

room, nothing else needed cleaning so that was out. I looked at the stack of papers on the

table and decided to read about Jesse.

The first article was about Jesse and his brothers being awarded thousands of dollars

as a settlement from the mining company due to his father being killed on mine property

during a strike. The next article was about Jesse purchasing a large number of cattle and

farm machinery to increase productivity of his farm. Another article explained how a fire

destroyed his farm hand’s home and how Jesse purchased a new home for his as a gift.

The next article was about a barn social held at Jesse’s farm. The following article

explained that even with the hard economic times of the United States the Gunn farm and

his side businesses were still profitable. I looked at the date on this article, it was near the

time of the Great Depression. The next article explained that Jesse purchased the general

store and extended everyone’s credit. The next article I picked up explained how Jesse

allowed each family in town to enter the fields and gather vegetables and fruit to feed

their families. Jesse also slaughtered a few cattle and hogs to share the meat with the

residents. The last article was the hardest for me to read. It opened with “Beloved Local

Businessman Dies in Barn Fire.” The article explained how Jesse was getting ready for

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another social when his barn caught on fire. It stated that Jesse was able to get his animals

from the barn, but he heard someone yelling from inside the structure. Jesse entered to

save the person but was never seen alive again. After the fire was out it was learned that

Jesse and his best friend Jackson McKenzie both perished in the blaze. I placed the

articles back on the table and rested my head in my hands. The same overwhelming

feeling of loss struck me again. I sat like this for awhile thinking about how such a good

man had his life cut so short. I turned off the TV and crossed the room to my victrola; I

was thinking about last night and my dance with Jesse.

“I wonder if this thing really works.”

I opened the lid and there was an album already on the turntable. I placed the crank in

the side and turned it a few times. I placed the needle on the album and it started to play. I

gasped, it was the music Jesse and I had danced to last night. I started to sway around the

living room, lost in the memory of being held by Jesse. I danced through two songs,

enjoying the memory of the soft quiet music floating from the victrola. The phone rang

and the loud harsh sound cut through my memory and made me jump. It took me till the

second ring to realize where I was. I crossed the room and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi Eva, before you growl at me for calling so late, I ended up having a water line

break and I had to fix it before the damn house floated away,” he said in a hurry.

“Well I’ll forgive you for now, but when I see you again I am going to have to give

you a few lashings for making me wait,” I said with a chuckle.

“Oooooo do you promise?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

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 “How are you Mike?” I asked changing the direction of the conversation for my

safety. I didn’t want him to think I was that ornery, at least not yet.

“Doing good, but I miss home already.”

“Well I bet home misses you too. I bet Linda and your Mom really miss you.”

“Yeah, I talked to Linda before I called you, she is doing alright but she misses me.

She said she was drawing a ‘missing you Daddy’ card for me earlier today.”

“Oh, that’s so cute.”

“So…?”

“So… what?” I asked.

“Do you miss me?” he asked.

“Well yeah, I have a few things that need repairing around here,” I kidded. “But I have

a new handyman coming in the morning.” I laughed.

“So is that all you want me for, not my mind, or even my bod, it’s just for my repair

ability?” he asked teasingly.

“Nope, it’s nothing to do with your great personality or that smile that makes me melt.

It’s just what you can do for me with your hands.” I teased.

“Babe I can show you a few extra things I can do with my hands,” he said seductively

then broke out in laughter.

It was so good to hear him laugh, until this moment I didn’t realize how much I

missed him. “Let’s stop right here before this conversation goes too far,” I chuckled.

“Honestly I do miss you even though you have only been gone about three days.”

“I miss you too Eva, did you get my message?”

“Yes, how much longer do you think the job will take?”

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 “Not really sure, I won’t know till I start working on the extras.” His voice was fading.

“Mike you’re fading…”

“Can you hear me now?” he chuckled, “I sound like that damn cell phone

commercial.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m driving back to my hotel.”

“Don’t you know it is illegal to drive and talk on the cell phone?”

“You’re worth the time I would have to do in the Big House for breaking the law,” he

joked.

“A pretty boy like you would be eaten alive in there.” I teased. I could hear him

laughing and the sound was breaking up. “Mike you’re breaking up.”

“No, cracking up,” he laughed. “I’ll call you again in a few days. You have my

number if anything comes up, and don’t let any other handy man in.” he chuckled.

“I won’t, promise. You are the only handy man for me.”

“Bye Eva.”

“Bye Mike, be safe.” And I hung up.

I turned the TV back on and mindlessly watched till a little after 10pm. I decided to

shower and go to bed, I had to work in the morning. I went to the bathroom and got

undressed; again the thought of Jesse watching me crept into my head. I hurried and

jumped into the shower. Does he watch me during the day? I shampooed my hair and

finished my shower. I didn’t realize how long I had taken and when I stepped out the

room was filled with steam. I wrapped a towel around me and opened the bathroom door

to let some of the steam out. I turned to the mirror and gasped. In the steam on the glass

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was a single word. Nice with a smiley face doodled under it. I guessed that answers my

question, he can see me. Suddenly I felt self conscious. I wrapped the towel tighter

around me and went to my bedroom. I pulled out my pj’s and looked around the room. Is

he in here also? I got into my walk in closet, closed the door and got dressed.

“Eva you are being silly, if he is a ghost he can just come through the closet door if he

wanted to.” I opened the door and got into bed. “Tink came trotting down the hall and

jumped into my bed. I fell asleep petting her and thinking about Jesse.

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 Chapter eight

We were sitting on the porch swing, he was holding my hand, and we were watching

the sunset. The clouds were a dark bluish purple and the horizon was alive with color. I

could see colors already. I guess it was because he was already touching me. I looked up

into his handsome face and he was looking down at me with a beautiful smile. His crystal

eyes were so beautiful and clear this evening.

“I’m so glad you came Eva.”

“You know, I’m honestly glad I came.” I answered as I turned to face the sunset.

“Really?” he said sounding surprised as he touched my chin and turned my face to

him.

“Yes, I wanted to see you again.”

“You did?” he questioned. “I wasn’t really sure you would return.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“Well I figured I scared you off. Not many people would be able to handle the

thought of a ghost invading their home, let alone their dreams.”

“Speaking of home…please don’t watch me undress, it’s a little uncomfortable.” I

said blushing.

“I promise, but it will be hard to do. I am a man you know.”

“Please,” I asked turning a deeper shade of red.

“I promise,” he said crossing his heart. “I will make sure I stay out of the bathroom.”

He smiled, I guess remembering me in the shower.

Changing the subject he asked, “How was your day darling?”

“Interesting, I went to the library today.”

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 “What is so interesting at the library?” he asked.

“You,” I said turning my face back to the sunset.

“Me, what do you mean?”

“I hope you don’t get upset, but I was interested in learning more about you. I guess I

needed to prove to myself that you did exist.” I said nervously.

“Now why would I get upset?” he asked. “I would have been a little nervous if you

had taken everything I said at face value.” He chuckled. “So did I make for interesting

reading? And tell me, do you believe I existed?”

“Yes, and yes.” I answered. “I learned a lot about you and your philanthropy, you

helped the whole town. I also learned about your…” I looked down at my knees for a

moment then turned my face to look deeply into his crystal eyes, “your death.”

I felt him stiffen slightly at my last word. “My death, what did you read?” he

questioned.

“Well the article stated that you were preparing for another social in your barn,” I

stopped and hesitated.

“And,” he asked encouragingly.

“Well it said you saved all of your animals, but reentered the fire when you heard

someone calling for help.” I again paused not wanting to say the rest.

“And?” He asked.

“You couldn’t make it back out, so both you and Jackson died.” I said barley above a

whisper.”

“So you know about Jackson?” he asked.

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 “Yes, I know he was your best friend,” a thought dawned on me at that moment. “Is

that who you spend your time with? If you are still here, is Jackson still here? When am I

going to meet him?” I asked anxiously.

Jesse drew in a deep breath and let it out with an audible sigh, “You have already met

him and no, he is not who I spend my time with,”

“What… When? I don’t remember meeting Jackson.”

“The red orb, the Ouija board, that was Jackson,” he said flatly.

I searched his amazing eyes for answers. “I don’t understand.”

Jesse let go of my hand and got up and crossed the porch to lean on the banister

opposite the swing. He crossed his arms and had a far away look on his face. I assumed

he was remembering his life. I crossed the porch and stood inches from him. I reached up

and placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled his face down to mine. “If it’s too hard or

painful to talk about Jackson, you don’t have to.

“My Dearest Eva,” he said kissing my forehead, “you deserve to know. If I want you

to know me, you need to know everything.” He said pulling me to his chest and wrapping

his strong arms around me. “Yes I was getting ready for a social, it was going to be the

best event of the year. I was using it to cheer up the people in town.”

I could hear the soft vibration of his voice in his strong chest. “That was very nice of

you,” I added.

He gently pushed me away and turned me around. He sat on the banister and pulled

me back toward his chest and wrapped his arms around me. He rested his chin on my

shoulder. “Jackson was in the barn helping me. I left the barn to get something for us to

drink when Annabelle showed up.”

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 “She was Jackson’s girl friend wasn’t she?”

“How did you know that?” He asked.

“Research,” I answered.

“That was in an article?”

“No, actually I spoke with her younger sister Betty. She filled me in a little on what

happened.”

“Betty? Is she still alive?” he asked sounding surprised.

“Yes, she is one of my patients.”

“Bless her soul,” he said. He took a deep breath then continued. “Well Annabelle and

I were planning a surprise party for Jacksons’s birthday, it was to be the day after the

social.” He explained. “And after we went over a few details she thanked me with a hug.

I guess Jackson saw us hugging and took it the wrong way.” He hesitated then kissed me

on the ear. “When I got back to the barn Jackson confronted me about the hug, he

accused me of wanting his girl.” Jesse sighed. “He was yelling that with all my money

and everything else I had that I couldn’t stand him being happy, which was the farthest

thing from the truth. I was actually hoping to talk him into marrying her soon. She was a

wonderful girl and would make him a wonderful wife.” He continued, “Jackson stormed

off, so I closed the barn for the evening and went into the house. I fixed my dinner and

when I was done I looked out the kitchen window toward the barn. It was on fire.” I

turned and looked up at Jesse and noticed that he had a far away glassy look in his eyes. I

could tell he was reliving everything he was telling me at that moment. “Old barns are

nothing but dry timber and hay so they are nothing but a tinder box. Luckily, because of

the upcoming social, I had moved my farm machinery to the field. Most of my animals I

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had placed in a smaller barn further back on my property. I ran into the barn and removed

a few things then ran back outside. My hired hand Daniel came running and we stood

watching the barn burn. I suddenly heard a choking yell from inside the barn. I told

Daniel to stay where he was and wait for the fire department. I could hear the alarm in the

distance. I ran into the barn and there was Jackson, trapped in one of the stalls with the

walls burning around him. The air was thick with smoke. I made my way to him and

pulled him from the stall. Through the smoke I asked him what he was doing in the barn.

He said he wanted to get even so he started the fire. He thought if I lost my farm,

Annabelle would loose interest in me. I tried to explain to him, as the fire started

overtaking the ceiling above us that he had it all wrong. I physically grabbed him and

started dragging him toward the door. He was coughing and weak, he couldn’t hold his

own weight. My lungs started to burn so I pulled my shirt across my mouth. I thought we

were going to make it but just as we neared the door a large beam fell. I had tried to pull

Jackson out of the way but I was too slow. It fell on top of him and he was trapped. I

frantically tried to pull him out, he was screaming, I couldn’t get him loose. I stayed

trying to free him even after the screaming stopped. I couldn’t breath, I passed out…”

The next words came in a whisper, “and now I am here.” He said as he gave me a

squeeze.

I looked at him, with tears welling up in my eyes. “I am so sorry you had to go

through that, I wish there was something I could have done.”

“How very sweet of you my darling but you weren’t even born yet, so what could you

have done?” He said as he tapped his finger on the tip of my nose.

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 I didn’t know what to say to that so I just reached up and kissed his cheek. “So why

did Jackson come to me?” I asked after a moment.

“He is still trying to get revenge. He has been trying to get me back all of these

years.” He said as he looked blankly over my left shoulder. “If I go into the barn he can

get me, the place we died is the only place he can still hurt me. In the barn we can

experience life again because it is the place we died. Jackson has been trying to trick me

into the barn for decades. He wants to pull me down to Hell, he blames me for

everything. I can’t get him to listen to me. He was always the stubborn one.” He said as

he raised his eyebrow.

“You see, he could never leave the burned out foundation due to his actions causing

our deaths. When you used the Ouija board it invited him into the house.”

I gasped, “I caused him to get loose?”

“Only for a short time, he is trapped again in the foundation so please don’t go into the

barn. He might try to hurt you to get me in there.” He said as he looked in my eyes.

“I promise.”

Jesse pulled me close and hugged me tightly. He took me by the hand and led me back

to the swing. He asked me to sit, and when I did he took the seat at the opposite end of

the swing. He smiled at me then laid down on the swing placing his head in my lap. I

gazed down into his eyes and started to run my fingers through his chestnut hair. He

closed his eyes and sighed.

“You don’t understand how amazing your touch feels. It has been so long since I have

had any physical contact.”

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 “Have you ever figured out how I am able to see and feel you in my dreams?” I asked

still running my fingers through his hair.

“No, all I can guess is that you have always been sensitive, you probably saw things

when you were younger.” He thought for a moment then added, “And now being here

with me it has gotten stronger. That is only a guess; I don’t have a manual or anything.”

He said as he smiled.

I lightly smacked the top of his head. He opened his eyes and laughed again. His eyes

actually twinkled when he laughed, he was so handsome. “Well I don’t know why it has

happened but I am glad it did,” I said blushing slightly.

“Me too my darling, me too,” he said as he closed his eyes again. I closed my eyes and

rested my head back on the swing still running my fingers through his hair. “Tell me

something, what do you do during the day, what keeps you busy?” He didn’t answer. I

opened my eyes to see if he was sleeping. He was gone; I was back in my room running

my fingers through Tink’s fur.

“Damn, I wasn’t ready to wake up.” I said to Tink. “I wanted to spend more time with

Jesse.” I rolled over and looked at the clock, I guess it was time to get up and get ready

for work.

I got out of bed, walked to the bathroom and did my morning routine. After dressing I

went to the kitchen to get my coffee and some breakfast. While eating my cereal I

replayed my time spent with Jesse. I got to know him quite well last night. If he were

alive he would be someone I would like to get to know better, but since he isn’t… I just

don’t know. Is it right for me to spend time with him? I guess the fact that I’m thinking

this way means I have accepted that he is here, and that I am actually spending time with

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him in my dreams. During the day I will be in the world of the living, and at night I will

be in Jesse’s world. Can I do this? Is it fair to Jesse if when Mike returns I leave him

behind? Is it fair to Mike that I spend my time with Jesse till he returns? Will one of them

get hurt? Will I be able to leave one for the other? Again, I have so many questions and

not an answer is in sight.

“Tink, time for breakfast,” as I opened her food she came trotting toward the kitchen. I

placed her bowl on the floor and patted her head before she began to eat.

I reached in my brief case and pulled out my map and located my patient’s home. I

gathered up my stuff and headed out the door. I turned to lock it and called out “Jesse,

have a good day.” Then I pulled the door shut and locked it. I pulled out of the drive and

started off to my new patient’s home.

This visit was taking me down roads I had not been on before. They were mostly

back roads. I looked at my odometer and realized I had driven seventeen miles and still

had not found Mrs. Smith’s house. I felt as if I was driving in circles. None of the roads

were marked so I just took turns here and there hoping to find the right house, or a way

out of this terrible tangle of roads. I spent the next twenty minutes trying to find her

home. I drove the back roads for miles. Sometimes I felt as if the woods surrounding the

road were going to swallow me and no one would ever see me again. I know this is just

my over active imagination again but those horror movies always get the young woman

lost in the woods, then something grabs her and she is never seen again. I laughed at this

thought nervously.

In the distance I finally saw a small ramshackle home in a clearing. I drove up to the

mailbox and read the name Gladys Smith.

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 “Finally,” I said with exasperation.

I pulled up into the drive and walked up to the door. I knocked, and an old voice

yelled from behind the door.

“Who the hell is it? I don’t want any!”

“Mrs. Smith, I’m the nurse from The Professionals, the home health agency.” I called

back through the door.

“Well your late, you were supposed to be here an hour ago,” she growled through the

door.

“Mrs. Smith may I come in and explain?” I asked.

“No, go away I don’t want anyone in my house. Damn Doctor, who the hell made him

boss? Who told him to order home nurses?”

I was getting frustrated. I drove all this way and I was going to get into this house.

“Mrs. Smith, I need to make a visit or the state will put you in a nursing home. We need

to prove you are able to stay in your home, and accepting help from us is part of it.”

“Like Hell they will!”

“Just open up and give me five minutes of your time, and then you will fulfill the state

requirements for staying in your home.” I hoped this would work. I hated to lose a client

just because I was late.

“Get the Hell in here then get out!” she yelled through the door.

I opened the door and walked into a dimly lit room reeking of nicotine. Mrs. Smith was

sitting at her kitchen table smoking with an overflowing large ashtray in front of her. Her

hair was in a wild tangle on top of her head and her wrinkled lips were accentuated by

bright red lipstick bleeding into the cracks that surrounded her pursed mouth.

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 “Hi Mrs. Smith, my name is Eva Good.”

“Good for you Ms. Good,” she said sarcastically. “I just want to let you know that you

are the first one to get through my door.” She said squinting one eye and pointing one

gnarled finger at me.

“First what?” I asked.

“The first agency Ms. Goody two shoes,” she added with a twisted smirk. “The other

ones just left when I told them to leave. What makes you so special?”

“Good dose of stubbornness I guess,” I said with a smile.

She returned my smile with a toothless grin of her own. “You’re a feisty one aren’t

you?”

“I would like to think so,” I answered.

“Alright, tell me why I should let your agency take care of me?”

“Honestly, because if you don’t let us do at least two days of personal care a week, I

am to report you to my supervisor.”

“I’m shaking in my shoes,” she said again with a sarcastic sound.

“And my supervisor will call the state agency, and you will be forced into a nursing

home.”

“Well that was short but sweet. What, no sugar coating for me?”

“To me, Mrs. Smith, I feel you are a woman who appreciates the truth,” I added with a

snide grin.

“Ok set it up for me.” She said crossing her arms across her large hanging breasts.

“No fighting?” I asked.

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 “Nope, I do appreciate your honesty, so set up whatever you think I need and I will do

it.”

“Will you also allow the aids to help with personal care?”

“You’re pushing it Ms. Good.” She said with a grin, “Alright… I’ll let them in till one

of them pisses me off.”

“Thank you Mrs. Smith.”

“Gladys, call me Gladys.”

“Thank you Gladys.”

We spent the next hour going over her treatment plan, and home health aid visits. She

seemed honestly pleased to be getting assistance. When we were finished I got up to

leave when she surprised me and also got up. She crossed the room to stand beside me.

“I will see you in a month, remember if you need anything please call the office.” I

said smiling at her.

Again she surprised me by holding her arms open. “I hope they send you back, I like

you,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me.

Awkwardly I returned her hug, squeezing lightly. “I’ll be back Gladys.”

I felt her stiffen in my arms. I let go quickly thinking I might have hurt her. When I

looked in her face she had a blank stare.

“Did I hurt you?” I asked.

“Be careful tonight, something is coming for you.” She said with the unchanging

blank stare.

“Gladys?” I said nervously.

She seemed to snap out of it. “Eva, you are in danger, you need to watch out.”

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 “What are you saying?” I said as the slight feeling of fear crept along my spine.

“Eva I don’t know if you believe in it or not, but you are a magnet for the

supernatural. Spirits, both good and bad, are drawn to you.” She said with a worried look

on her face. “And no, I am not having a stroke or going crazy. I have always been able to

read people with a touch, and in you I read a very strong ability or power just under the

surface. The spirit world is drawn to you and your light.”

“My what?” I questioned.

“Your light or life force, you have a very strong life force.” She said as she ran her

hands around my torso just inches from me. “I can feel the power or glow coming from

your soul; it attracts the spirit world to you. Through you they can experience life once

again.”

Immediately I thought of Jesse. Should I tell her, would she think I was crazy?

“You need to be careful, there is both good and evil in the spirit world. Both crave

your life force.”

“You said both good and bad?”

“Yes.”

“Can the good ones hurt me in anyway?” I asked, again thinking of Jesse.

“No, the good ones will actually help protect you through life. The bad ones will try to

end your life.”

“Have you ever experienced anything like a good or bad spirit?” I asked her.

“No, I have never had the pleasure. I can just read people, I can’t see nor have I ever

interacted with anything from the supernatural world.” She explained. “I bet if you ask

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your parents, you probably saw things that weren’t there, or even had imaginary friends

when you were younger.”

“My parents both passed away a few years ago.” I said as I wished I had Mom to talk

to at this very moment.

“I am so sorry honey,” she said placing her arm around my waist. “Please promise me

that you will be careful.”

“I will be careful, I promise Gladys,” I said as I stepped out her door. I turned and

waved when I got in my car and she mouthed the words to me “Be careful, I will prey for

you tonight.”

I mouthed “Thank you,” and pulled out of the drive.

As I drove down the road I realized the wind had picked up and the temperature had

dropped about twenty degrees. The clouds were hanging so low and heavy with the

oncoming rain it gave an almost claustrophobic feeling. The clouds looked as if I stood

on my tippy toes I could stretch out and touch them. The sky was dark and ominous, the

clouds were rolling and getting angrier looking by the moment.

By tracing the map backwards I was able to free myself from the tangle of back roads

in just twenty five minutes. Leaving the wooded roads behind and venturing out into the

open did nothing to brighten the sky. If it was at all possible I think it was getting even

darker. I have a visible chill run down my spine as I replayed my conversation with

Gladys. What was going to happen to me today? Should I believe in the ramblings of an

old woman? I scoffed, why not I am seeing a ghost in my dreams, it seems as if anything

is possible at this point. What next, am I going to hit a Pixie with my car as it flies home

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to its kids? I started giggling uncontrollably. I had to concentrate on my driving. It was

hard to drive and giggle with tears filling my eyes.

After a few moments I got control of myself and my giggling. I decided that I needed

something to help me waste some time. I didn’t want to go home yet and I was done with

my patients for the day. I decided to visit the local gym and check it out. It had been

almost two weeks since I had been able to really work out. I drove to the gym and got out

of my car. I exhaled and swear I saw my breath hang in the air. I didn’t think winter was

to come this early. I cursed the cold and pulled my scrub jacket tighter around me and ran

into the gym. The florescent lights chased away the gloom of the oncoming storm. I

walked in and checked out the gym and the Olympic sized swimming pool.

“May I help you Ma’am?” A young buff looking man asked with a friendly smile.

“I was thinking of joining your gym. I just wish I had brought my bathing suit so I

could swim a few laps to chase the cold away.”

“Well we have a small selection of suits in the lobby for sale, they aren’t very

flattering but they suit their purpose.” He chuckled at his lame attempt at humor.

“Lead the way, show me those beautiful suits, I feel like a swim.”

He showed me the suits, they were one piece drab blue with the name of the gym

printed across the chest. I purchased one and paid my membership dues for one month. I

took my suit to the changing room, put my clothes in a locker, grabbed a towel from the

shelf and jumped in the shower. After showering I walked to the pool and jumped in. I

swam a few laps and then just sat on the ledge of the pool dangling my legs in the water.

After a few minutes a young woman came walking toward me with a friendly smile.

“Hi, Eva is it? My name is Geri.” She said as she sat next to me.

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 “Yes, but how did you know that.” I asked shocked.

“Well everyone in town knows who you are, and I am ashamed to say I was one of the

women at the diner the other morning. I know you heard the women I was with talking

about you.” She said as she looked at her hands.

“That’s alright, don’t let it bother you. If they talk about me they leave someone else

alone.”

“No, they would just talk about them later.” She said with a weak smile.

“That’s alright, I know people like that too.” I said smiling warmly.

“I hear you have a date with Mike Slack when he gets back home.”

“Does everyone else in town know that too?” I asked.

She laughed, “No… it’s just that Mike is my cousin and he tells me everything. We

grew up not just cousins, but best friends. Before he left he told me about your upcoming

date.”

“You’re his cousin?” I asked as the wheels in my head started turning. “Then you can

give me some embarrassing stories about him.” I said rubbing my hands together in and

evil scientist kind of way. “Tell me something stupid he did as a kid; give me something

to tease him with.

She thought for a moment then said, “He’s going to kill me for this but I think it is the

best one… Well when he was about ten or eleven he was out hunting with my Uncle

Jerry. After about an hour he had to go to the bathroom, he walked behind a big tree and

peed on an electric fence,”

“He what?” I asked trying to hold back a laugh because I had a feeling I knew what

the rests of the story was going to be.

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 “He peed on the fence and the electricity flowed up the stream and shocked him

knocking him flat on his butt.” She said with a laugh.

“Oh my goodness!” I laughed, the sound echoed in the large room. “I can’t wait till he

calls in a few days.”

“Let’s get showers and go to the juice bar and get something to drink.”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

We walked to the showers and got dressed in the locker rooms. We walked over to the

juice bar and ordered hot apple cider with a cinnamon stick. When the drinks were

brought to the table I took a long drink, “Wow this hits the spot, it’s wonderful.”

“It’s one of the local specialties, cheers.” She said raising her mug, “to new friends.”

“To new friends.” I chimed in return.

We spent the next couple of hours getting to know each other. We drank our cider and

then ordered grilled chicken salads. We talked, laughed and really enjoyed ourselves. I

decided I really liked Geri and I had enough dirt on Mike to pick on him for years.

“I had a great time, I am so glad we met,” I said to Geri.

“Me too. Hey, what are you doing this weekend?”

“Nothing that I know of… Why?”

“Well how about meeting me and Linda, you know, Mike’s daughter, for the apple

festival?”

“Do you think that is a good idea? I haven’t even been on a date with Mike yet.” I said

worriedly,

“Don’t worry, we won’t tell her. I’ll just introduce you as a new friend, which is what

you are.”

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 “Sure, let me give you my number and you call me Friday evening and tell me what

time to meet you and Linda.” I said as I wrote my number on the napkin from lunch.

“Great, see ya then.” She said as I walked out of the bar and back into the ominous

cold and cloudy evening.

I drove home in good spirits. I didn’t let the oncoming storm dampen my mood. I had

a new friend, and will be seeing her again in a few days. As I pulled up to the house I was

happy to be coming home. I walked in the door and jokingly announced, “Honey I’m

home.” I walked into my room to find Tink sleeping. “Oh the life of a cat, all she has to

do is eat, sleep and have someone else clean out her litter box.” That reminded me…I

hadn’t cleaned the litter box in a few days. I went to the kitchen and got a small pail,

walked back to Tink’s room and went about the unpleasant job of cleaning her box. After

flushing the waste down the toilet I cleaned the scoop and pail and returned them to her

room.

I went back into the bathroom and scrubbed my hands and decided to slip into a pair

of lounge pants and a long sleeved t-shirt. I spent the rest of the late afternoon and

evening being a couch potato. I snuggled under a throw I had on my sofa, was drinking

hot chocolate, and enjoying old movies. I watched for hours lost in old movies. It had

finally gotten dark and one of my favorite Alfred Hitchcock movies came on. I sat and

enjoyed the first part of the movie, but just as the movie got to the best part a knock came

at the door.

“Damn, why always at the best parts?” I asked in frustration to myself.

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 I got off the couch and started toward the door. I didn’t take my eyes off of the movie,

opened the door and asked “Can I help you?” I let the last word trail off when I turned

my head to face the person at the door. It was Keith.

“Keith, what are you doing here?”

He held out a bouquet of yellow roses, smiled and said “Hi Eva.”

“Um… Hi, what are you doing here?” His smile faded when he saw the look on my

face.

“Jennifer told me all about her visit with you and I thought I needed to come here and

check it out for myself.”

“Check what out?” I asked.

“The Ouija board thingy,” he said pointing into the living room. I came to protect

you.” He said as he puffed out his chest.

“I don’t need protection!” I said loudly “From you or anyone else.” I suddenly

remembered what Gladys had told me earlier today. That she had warned me that

something was coming.

“Come on Eva, let me in, it’s raining out here.”

“You’re covered by the porch, you won’t get wet.”

“Please let me in…come on Eva, I just want to talk.”

“Alright,” I said reluctantly as I unlatched the screen door and stepped back to let him

in.

“Thanks,” he said as he walked in the door. I caught the slight smell of alcohol.

I waved my hand toward the sofa and he walked over and sat down. He put the

flowers of the coffee table. I walked toward him; he scooted over with a smile and patted

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the cushion next to him. I just gave him a cold look, picked up the remote and turned off

my movie. I then walked across the room and sat in a chair. When I looked at him again,

his ego had deflated, he looked worn, tired, old beyond his years. His beautiful brown

eyes had dark circles under them. He just looked bad. I should be gloating about the pain

I could see behind his eyes, but I felt so bad. The thought of him hurting like I had should

send waves of laughter through me, but I only felt pity for him. Don’t cave in Eva, I

thought to myself.

“So Keith, what do you want to talk about?” I asked as if nothing had happened these

past few months.

He looked at his hands, I watched him wring his hands as he was trying to figure out

what to say. While still looking at his hands all he said in a barely audible whisper was

“Why did you leave?”

In my head I was screaming at him, how dare you ask why I left after what you put me

through! I took in a deep breath and thought to myself, control your self girl. “Keith.” He

looked up at me, he looked so wounded. “I just couldn’t stay.”

“Why not?” he asked. “I said I was sorry, I said I still wanted to get married. I thought

you wanted the same thing.”

I didn’t respond to his question. I just stared at him. After what seemed like minutes I

said “I did at the time, but I decided that I couldn’t trust you anymore.”

He slapped his forehead in exasperation and ran his hand through his dark wavy hair. I

uses to love running my hand through his silky black hair.

“I thought we got past the issue of trust,” he said raising his voice slightly. “I told you

I would never do it again.”

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 Just at that instant a bright crack of lightning lit up the dark windows.

“The storm is getting worse,” I said trying to change the subject.

Keith realized what I was trying to do and said, “Don’t change the subject.” Not quite

as loud this time but I could still hear the anger in his voice. “Why wasn’t that enough?

Didn’t my promise mean anything to you?”

Again the lightning lit up the dark, followed by a loud deep rumble of thunder that

shook the windows, I gasped as the lights flickered.

“Eva, it’s just a storm,” Keith said as he was making his way across the room toward

me. He grabbed my hand, which felt warm and wonderful, so comfortable. It would be so

easy to just let him keep hold of my hand. I came to my senses quickly and pulled my

hand away from his while saying, “Where are my manors, hey, how about something to

drink?” I asked with a nervous chuckle.

“Um sure… Beer, wine…?”

Now I had both, even though I was nothing but a social drinker, I didn’t want to get

into the situation that my choices might be clouded by what I was drinking. “I was

thinking maybe iced tea?” I sure didn’t want to add any more alcohol to an already tense

situation.

“Well I guess tea is alright if that’s all you have… sure,” he said sounding a little

disappointed.

I got up, “wait right here and I’ll be right back with the tea.” I walked across the room

into the kitchen. I pulled two glasses from the cupboard.

From the living room I heard Keith say, “This is a cute little house.”

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 “Thanks.” I said from the kitchen. I pulled out the tea from the fridge, got a few ice

cubes from the dispenser in the door. Boy I love this fridge, I thought to myself.

“Were these country decorations here when you moved in? They are nothing like the

stuff in our place.”

Our place, I thought to myself, was not our place at all. It was his place and I was

permitted to place a few candles on an occasional table. I poured the tea and started back

into the living room.

“I bought a few new things and the others I have always had in storage, they belonged

to my mother.”

“Oh,” he said. “Hun you don’t have to use them just for her. You need to put up

something you like. I know you are not the country type, just look at our place.

I sat his glass on the table a little too hard. Just breath girl, calm down, I thought to

myself.

“Our place is all modern, why do you think you have to use your Mom’s stuff?”

“Well for your information Keith, It isn’t our place anymore so quit calling it that! I

have a place of my own. Yes it is decorated with my mother’s stuff, and yes it is country.

I love country! I can’t stand modern, it has no soul, no feeling, it’s just too damn cold!”

Oh boy I was on a roll. I never lose my temper like this. I took a deep breath and started

again. “You never let me choose anything for the apartment. Even when I did live there it

was never our place! I was just a woman who lived in a cold modern man’s apartment.

Yes I lived there, I slept there, I cleaned there, but I never felt like I belonged there.

Everything was what made you happy; you never asked my opinion on anything. I even

dressed the way you wanted me to. I lost myself when I met you. You controlled

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everything about me. You made me into who you wanted me to be. Damn it I want to be

me now! And no, your promise to never do it again,” I said mockingly, “was not

enough!”

The lightning outside must have struck somewhere close, I jumped and the power

flickered then went out. When I lit the candles on the coffee table Keith was still on his

feet, a look of shock was on his face.

“You never talked to me that way.” Keith said. “It sounds like that has been building

up for awhile.”

Some of my anger faded with the candle light. The flame flickered and made shadows

dance just at the periphery of the dim circle of light. I took in a few cleansing breaths and

sat back down in my chair. “Sit down Keith.”

He sat down and took a long drink of his tea. He looked as if he was trying to figure

something out. We sat there listening to the storm. The storm was pelting the windows, as

the wind was blowing and battering the sides of the house. This was the first storm in my

new place. “Well I guess this storm will let me know if my roof leaks.” I said trying to

lighten the mood.

It didn’t work because Keith came back with, “you met someone else.” He said

sounding like he just had an epiphany. “That’s it! That’s why you left!”

I flung my head back and rolled my eyes with exaggeration. “Don’t be stupid.” As

soon as the word stupid came out I knew I had made a mistake. Keith didn’t like his

intelligence questioned.

“Did you just call me stupid?” he yelled as he crossed the room toward me.

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 I put my arms up in defense, Keith had never hit me before but he had a terrible

temper, especially when he has been drinking. I once saw him punch and knock his

brother out for calling him stupid.

He grabbed my wrists and forced his face within inches of mine. “I’m sorry; I’m not

calling you stupid, just the idea.”

“That’s the same thing” he yelled into my face as he started shaking me.

Just then a loud rumble, sounding almost like a growl, shook the house. “What was

that?” I asked.

“Damn it grow up Eva, it’s just the storm!” He was still yelling, his face contorted

with anger.

A loud crack sounded from somewhere behind Keith. He was so close and so large I

couldn’t see what had made the noise. My wrists hurt, I was scared and surely he wasn’t

going to hurt me. I looked up into his face; he seemed so large and menacing. “Keith

you’re hurting me.”

“Oh poor baby,” he said mockingly as he pretended to pout. “I’ll show you what

hurts,” he said now with a smile. He let go of my left hand, I tried to push him off with

my now free hand, and he wouldn’t budge. He raised his open right hand and started to

swing.”

Everything that happened after that seemed to go in slow motion but I know it all

happened so fast. A neon blue light glowed and pulsed behind Keith. As his hand came

down to connect with my face I saw a translucent hand from somewhere inside the blue

light, grab at his arm and stop it before it connected.

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 “What the Hell!” Keith yelled as he let go of my other arm and swirled around to face

who ever had stopped him. “Where the Hell are you?” Keith yelled into the center of the

room. “Stop hiding, I knew she found someone else! Let’s see what kind of man are you

chicken? Show yourself!”

“You should never hit a lady.” A voice said calmly from somewhere in the room,

beyond the dim glow of the candles.

“I’ll tell you this whoever the hell you are, she is no lady. I can tell you some un lady

like thing she has done with me in the bedroom!” I knew this was Keith’s way of hitting

below the belt, thinking this would bring out whoever was in the room.

“She has been nothing but a lady with me.” The voice said calmly. I gasped, I knew

that voice, and it was Jesse! When Keith heard me gasp he spun back around to face me

and grabbed a handful of hair. “If you won’t come out I will hurt her till you do!” he

yelled into the room. The lightning flashed, I looked into Keith’s eyes, and they looked

like they were glowing red. It must be a trick of the lightning. He raised his hand and

balled it up into a fist then started to swing it toward my upturned face. Everything was in

slo-mo again. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed “NOOOOO!” The connection

between his fist and my face never came. The house rumbled again and Keith yelped and

he let go of my hair. I opened my eyes and could see Keith against the far wall crumpled

on the floor. Between us was the dim figure of Jesse, and on Keith’s lap was my floor

lamp. Jesse had hit him with my lamp.

“Jesse?” the dim figure turned and walked toward me.

“Are you alright Eva?” He said as a translucent hand reached and cupped my cheek.

“Yes I am, and how is he?” I said pointing toward Keith.

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 “I just knocked him unconscious.” He said with a little pride. “Even in ghost form I

still have it.” He gloated.

“Men! What am I going to do about him now?”

At that, Jesse walked to the table and picked up Keith’s glass of tea. He took it across

the room; it was odd to see something move across the room without something solid

propelling it. Jesse raised the glass and poured the ice and all onto Keith’s head. The

glass shattered on the floor as Jesse disappeared. Keith gasped and coughed as he came

to.

“What happened?” He asked.

“It doesn’t matter. I want you out of my house.” I said matter of factly, as I pointed

toward the door.

Keith threw the lamp off of his lap and ran his hand through his wet hair pushing it

from his forehead.

“Get up Keith and leave.”

Keith got up, walked toward me, I stepped back, “Don’t you touch me!”

He put his hands up as if surrendering, “I’m sorry Eva.”

“I don’t care Keith, get out!”

“Listen to me, I love you and want you to come home.”

“You expect me to just come home like nothing has ever happened? Not only did you

cheat on me but you were just going to hit me.”

“Get him out here, where is he?”

“Who?” I asked.

“Your new boyfriend. I want to talk to him, man to man!” he yelled.

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 “Keith you better calm down.”

“Or what? Is he going to come out here and hit me from behind again? What kind of

coward is he?” Again he was in my face yelling.

The house started to rumble, a wind rushed through the living room. The candles blew

out and we were plunged into darkness. The storm hit a fevered pitch. I screamed.

“Don’t be scared,” was whispered into my ear by a pair of unseen lips. “Please close

your eyes, and keep them closed till I tell you everything is ok. Remember I will always

take care of you.” I was comforted by Jesse’s voice and did exactly what he asked.

I heard the air in the room start to violently swirl. I was pushed into a chair by the

wind, and the chair blew back against the wall. I heard Keith scream, I wanted to open

my eyes but Jesse had not told me to open them yet. I heard things crashing and more

screams from Keith. The door slammed open, glass shattered, and I heard Keith’s

screams from the front yard now.

Everything went quiet. “Can I open my eyes yet?”

“No not yet me dear,” I heard noises in the room, my poor house is probably

destroyed. I heard Keith’s truck start up and pull out of the driveway so fast he threw

gravel on the front porch.

“Alright Eva, open your eyes.” I did, while my eyes were shut the lights had come

back on. I looked around my living room, it was perfectly fine, nothing overturned or

broken.

“What happened? I heard things breaking and being thrown around the room.”

“I couldn’t let you clean up after me; he chuckled, so I took care of it for you.”

“How can I ever thank you?”

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 “Just meet me in your dreams tonight.” He blew me a kiss and then was gone.

I was at a loss. I didn’t know what to do at that moment. It was late but I was so keyed

up after the action tonight. I desperately wanted to go to sleep so I could see Jesse, so I

decided to drink some wine. It always calmed me and helped me sleep. I went to the

kitchen and pulled out a wine glass, debated on its size, put it back and grabbed a large

brandy snifter.

“This should hold enough to help me sleep.”

I filled the glass and took it to the bath room. I decided to get a hot bath, again another

action to help me sleep. I soaked in the warm steamy tub, drank my wine and practiced

deep breathing. The combination worked. I was able to relax and actually started

yawning. I got out of the tub and toweled off, put on a pair of warm pajamas and crawled

into bed. I listened to the now gentle rain and consciously thought of Jesse willing him to

appear in my dreams. Slowly sleep finally enveloped me.

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 Chapter nine

I was sitting on his porch again, everything was in sepia. I sat waiting with

anticipation for Jesse to arrive. There was a slight breeze blowing across the front of the

porch. I marveled at the warm beautiful weather.

“This sure is a change from what it is doing in my world.” I said to myself and the

beautiful sky.

I could hear birds chirping and bees buzzing around the occasional clover that had

cropped up in Jesse’s lawn. The slight breeze I was enjoying carried in the sound of a

rhythmic cadence. It was a sound that I personally had not heard often but I knew what it

was. The hoof steadily came closer and I waited with excitement. Finally, in the distance

I could see Jesse riding down the road toward me. When he finally stopped the horse in

front of the house I marveled because it also is sepia and the horse was a shockingly

beautiful animal with a white coat. Jesse dismounted, I ran down the steps and jumped

into his arms and hugged him tightly. I watched the colors explode all around us.

I pulled my face toward him and said, “My hero.” Then I kissed him fully on the lips,

they were warm and wonderful. He returned my kiss freely. I continued kissing him with

a slight hunger, it was an amazing feeling. I could hear him starting to chuckle through

our kiss.

He gently pushed me back and said, “If this is how you thank someone who protects

you, consider me your life long body guard.”

I let go of him and blushed. “I’m sorry I got a little carried away there,” I said as I

looked into his handsome face. I was shocked to see how tired he looked. “Are you

alright?” I asked nervously.

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 “Do I look that bad?” He asked sounding tired.

“Yes you look like you could use a good rest, what happened?” We walked up onto

the porch. I noticed it took a concerted effort for him to climb the four stairs.

“My Dearest Eva,” he said after we sat on the swing. “What I did for you this evening,

getting rid of Keith, took all my strength.”

“What?”

With a deep sigh he said, “When I materialize or interact with the living world, it

drains my energy, usually it takes days to recover.

I cupped his face in my hands, my brow furrowed in worry. “I’m so sorry Jesse, I

never meant to cause you any troubles. I am so sorry, can you ever forgive me?”

He chuckled weakly. “It was worth every ounce of energy I had to use to get a thank

you like that. I would do it again to get another kiss like that.” He paused for a moment

then said, “Just not right now.”

I lightly smacked his shoulder. “The next time you want a kiss you don’t have to save

me, just pucker.” I said smiling.

He puckered, and through his puckered lips he said, “Like this?”

I laughed and leaned in to kiss him, gently this time, not wanting to wear him out

anymore than he already was. “How was that, did it drain any more energy?”

“Perfect, but this tired old soul is not sure I can take any more excitement. I can’t

believe I am saying this…but let’s just sit and talk for now.”

“You’re the boss,” I said smiling. He put his arm around me and I leaned into his

shoulder. Jesse bent down and kissed the top of my head. I closed my eyes and enjoyed

the closeness. I quickly opened my eyes remembering that every time I close my eyes for

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any length of time I am usually back in my bed. I was relieved to see that I was still in

Jesse’s arms.

“Jesse?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask you something?” I asked.

“Sure my darling,” he said with a weak smile.

“What do you do all day?”

“Well until recently, I was stuck in a loop, I am stuck preparing my barn for the

social.”

“I turned my head to face him, “what?”

“I re-live my last day over and over again, never changing, except I am alone, and the

fire doesn’t happen. I am stuck preparing for a party that never comes.”

“You said until recently?”

“Yes, since you moved in, I have been able to experience your life. I have been able to

leave the party preparations behind and interact with you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I am not sure I do either. In the past I was able to only occasionally leave my loop to

interact with people who lived here. But with you, your energy, or life has released me

from my own personal small existence. Now my life has expanded into what seems like

and infinite possibility.” He thought for a moment. “When you are home I am able to

roam my entire property. I even went fishing one day while you were unpacking, which I

haven’t done in decades. Your life energy has, in a way, given me my life back.”

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 I shook my head remembering what Gladys had said. “I’m so glad I could help you

Jesse.”

“Not only have you helped me by letting me experience life through you, but you have

also aroused my heart. You have given me a feeling that I have never experienced

before.” He gently brushed his lips across mine. “Before you, I have never wanted to

spend time with a woman. No woman has ever interested me as much as you do. You’re

strong, but need taken care of; you’re serious, but have a wonderfully playful side; you’re

independent, but you crave companionship. You Eva Good are a wonderful woman. At

first I didn’t understand the funny feeling in my stomach when I looked at you, but now I

do. I am falling for you.”

His last statement caused a slight panicked feeling to spread through me. Can I do this

to him? What about when Mike comes home? My mind started to race.

Jesse started to chuckle.

“What are you laughing about?” I asked not understanding his reaction.

“Boy you should see your face… When I told you that I was falling for you, a

confused and pained look crossed your face.”

“Why is that so funny?” I asked getting slightly angry.

“My Darling,” he said as he gently caressed my hair. “I know this is hard for you. I

know having a ghost fall for you is hard to take.” He smiled gently, “I know you have a

life and will someday need to leave me to continue that life. I am prepared for that, but

for now… I am willing to take what I can get. I am willing to take one day, or dream at a

time.” He gently brushed his lips across my cheek. “I will take what time you are willing

to share with me. When the time comes for you to leave, I won’t regret falling in love

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with you. I will just cherish the time you have blessed me with and wish you a long and

happy life with or without me.”

I snuggled back against his shoulder and mulled over everything he had just said. I

heard him yawn. “Do I need to leave so you can rest?” I asked.

“No stay as long as you can please.”

“May I ask another question?” I said turning my face up toward his.

“Yes my Darling.” He whispered.

“How come in my world it is cold and raining, and here it is a beautiful sunny day?”

“It is your dream my darling, you control everything about your dream: the weather,

the surroundings, and yes, mostly what we do.”

“Mostly?”

“Well at first I thought I was at the whim of your dreams, but I found out that if I

wanted to do something enough I was able to influence the outcome. Not the location or

our surroundings, but our conversations and my actions.”

“What?”

“Well…” He bent and kissed me on the lips. “See… you wanted me to answer your

question, and I wanted to kiss you…. So I kissed you before I answered your question.”

He smiled. “I have found out that each time we meet, I am able to change things a little

more. I am in a little more control of myself.”

“Oh,” I said as if I understood.

He chuckled again, “you don’t have to understand, actually I don’t understand it

either, just continue to dream for us and I will be happy.”

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 We sat and just enjoyed each others company in silence. Jesse sat and ran his fingers

through my hair as I ran my fingers up and down his forearm. I was amazed how

comfortable I felt in his presence. This ghost or entity has made me feel more at ease than

I ever did with Keith.

Wow, Keith, I wonder what is going through his head right now? Will I ever hear

from him again? Jesse was so amazing coming to my rescue. I turned my head to look at

Jesse, his eyes were closed.

“Jesse?” I whispered not wanting to wake him if he was sleeping, sleeping, do ghosts

sleep?

“What?” He whispered back. “Why are we whispering?” he chuckled.

“Out of the last eighty years or so, what have you missed the most?”

He looked at me puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“You said you were stuck in a loop… well what do you miss the most about

everything being the same every day?”

“Oh my Darling, there is so much that I miss. But with you now in my life, or

existence, everything that was mundane and unbearable has once again become bearable.

So to answer your question, nothing now… but I used to wish for snow.”

“Snow?” I asked trying to understand.

“Yes, because with snow I would know that once again the world would awaken from

its slumber and everything would blossom and bloom again.”

I made up my mind at that moment that I would give him winter. I would make sure I

dream winter so he can experience the change in season.

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 I looked at Jesse and saw that he had closed his eyes again. “I think it is time for me to

go.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.” He answered.

“I think you need to rest, and I will come back tonight.” I said as I crossed my heart.

“My Darling Eva, until you dream for us again,” he said as he bent his face to mine. I

closed my eyes, and he kissed me gently on the lips. I opened my eyes and he was gone.

I looked at the clock as I ruffled Tink’s fur. It was still early. I sat up and put my feet

on the floor, the boards creaked, reminding me of the first night I saw Jesse. I walked to

the bathroom with a smile on my face, reliving my night with Jesse. I had to face the fact

that I was falling for the man, ghost, or whatever he was. I finished in the bathroom, put

on my scrubs and headed for the kitchen. Over a cup of coffee and an egg white and

cheese omelet, I started planning Jesse’s winter. I wanted to be able to give him things he

had missed over the last so many decades. By the time I had finished my breakfast I had

his winter all planned out. I decided to share it with him soon.

I looked at the clock again and decided it was time to get my butt to work. I fed Tink

and gave her a good bye cuddle and headed for the door. I stopped and turned back to the

empty room and said “Rest Jesse and we will meet in my dreams tonight.” Then I walked

out the door.

In my outback I turned on the radio just in time to catch the weather forecast. This

weekend was to be warm and sunny. This was wonderful, the festival will have nice

weather. I had figured with the storm and the cold last night that it would stay cold for

awhile, thank goodness I was wrong. I was looking forward to seeing Geri again, but

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when I think of meeting Linda, Mike’s daughter, I would get a burst of butterflies in my

stomach.

I pulled off the road and checked the map showing the location of my patient’s home.

I was headed in the right direction. I merged back in with the flow of traffic and

continued on my way. Ten minuets later I pulled in front of Mrs. Long’s home.

I gathered up my stuff and walked up to the door. I knocked and waited for an answer.

While on the front step I glanced around at the apple decorations on the house and in the

front yard. I heard the front door open so I turned back toward the door.

“May I help you?” a man asked from behind the screen door.

“I’m Ms. Good, from the nursing agency.” I answered showing my identification.

“Oh yes, please come in,” he said with an accent.

“Thank you,” I said as I stepped through the door into a tastefully decorated large

foyer.

“Mother is back this way, could you please follow me?” he asked again with his

wonderful accent.

“Please lead the way,” I said with a smile. I don’t know what it is about accents, but

he could read the back or a cereal box to me and I would still be hanging on every word.

We entered what at one time might have been a study. The walls were covered in dark,

highly polished wood. The wall opposite the door was covered from floor to ceiling with

full bookshelves.

“Here we are Ms. Good, I will leave you to tend to Mother while I make some tea.

Would you like a cup?”

“Yes please, with a little sugar and milk please.”

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 “Coming right up,” he said as he smiled and walked out of the room.

I walked over to the hospital bed in the center of the room and found a small framed

woman buried in blankets. “Mrs. Long?” I asked softly.

“Yes child,” she answered with the same but slightly thicker stately accent.

“My name is Ms Good or Eva if you wish. I am here to go over the DNR with you.”

“I already know what one is dear, could you please help me sit up so I can sign it for

you?”

I helped Mrs. Long into a sitting position. I propped the pillows up behind her and

handed her my clipboard with the papers attached.

“I want this done as soon as possible. I don’t want anyone trying to bring me back. I

have been here long enough. I am tired of fighting to hold on.”

“Does he know you are singing this?” I asked motioning toward the young man who

had just left the room.

“You mean my son Paul?”

“Yes, does your son know you are signing this?” I asked again.

“No, I was hoping you would explain it to him,” she said with a hopeful look on her

face.

“Alright, when we are done I will explain everything to him, but I wish you had

discussed this with him before I showed up with the papers.”

She smiled weakly, “I know, I am sorry, but he already thinks I am crazy.”

“Why is that Mrs. Long?” I asked.

“Because I told him that his father has come and is waiting for me.”

“Why is that a problem?”

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 “Because my husband passed away twelve years ago,” she said sadly.

At that statement, a distinguished older gentleman appeared at the head of her bed and

placed his hand on her shoulder. I gasped.

“You see him don’t you?” she asked in astonishment.

“I…I… don’t know what you are talking about,” I stammered.

“I can tell… you see him too… you gasped just as my husband touched my shoulder.”

“No… I… just,” I gave up; I could tell no matter what I said I couldn’t convince her

that I had not seen her husband. “Yes Ma’am, I see him… he is behind your bed on the

right side.” I said defeated.

“So I am not crazy, I am feeling and seeing him.”

“Not unless I am crazy too,” I said with a weak laugh.

“Please don’t tell Paul you saw his father, he will call your company. I am afraid you

would lose your job.” She said flatly. “He already thinks I am losing it, he doesn’t need

to think you are placating an old woman, nor does he need to think you are crazy.”

I never really thought that admitting to seeing Mr. Long might cause me to lose my

job. I guess I need to watch what I say to people.

Mrs. Long signed the forms. I left one copy with her and put the other copies in my

bag. One was for our office and the other was for the family physician. I heard Paul

coming down the hall with the tea.

“Paul I am ready to take a nap,” Mrs. Long said as he entered the room. “Why don’t

you take Eva to the parlor and have your tea so I can rest.” She said with a smile. I could

tell she was used to getting everything she wanted out of her son just by the look on her

face.

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 “Yes Mother, enjoy your nap.” He said with a worried look. “Eva please follow me.”

he said as he led me from the room.

I glanced back at Mrs. Long just in time to see her reach for her husband’s hand and

he bent and kissed her on the forehead.

Paul led me down the hall into a small sitting room. He placed the tray on a table and

handed me a cup.

“Please sit Eva, and enjoy your tea,” he said as he pulled out a chair for me. “How is

Mother today?” He asked.

“She is doing well,” I answered. “She signed a DNR today.”

“What is a DNR?” Paul questioned.

“A DNR is a Do Not Resuscitate form. It states the patient wishes to not have

resuscitation performed, in the event of death.” I was prepared for an emotional outburst,

which is what usually happens when a DNR is discussed with a family member. Paul just

looked at me; he has such a sad look on his face. “Do you understand Paul?” I

questioned.

“Yes I do… I knew this was going to happen,” he said.

“How is that?” I asked.

“Well,” he hesitated, it seemed as if he was trying to come up with the words to

explain himself. “Mother has been telling me she is seeing my deceased father every

day.” He added quickly, “I am not seeing him but she is.” He took a deep breath, “I did

some research and found out that it is normal for someone who is… near the end… to say

that some family member who has passed away was there to take them home.”

“And what do you think?” I asked.

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 “Well I don’t believe she is seeing him… I think it is a safety mechanism in the brain

that helps the sick prepare for death.”

“I have read that somewhere before.” I added.

“All I know is if, when the end comes, if it makes it more comfortable for Mother to

believe father is visiting her, then let her believe. I have accepted that the end is near.

Mother has been sick for a long time. I know she is tired.”

“You have a wonderfully healthy attitude toward all of this,” I smiled.

“Thank you Eva, I appreciate the chance to speak about this with someone.”

“You’re welcome Paul,” I said then I took a drink of my tea. “If at any time you need

to talk,” I said as I pulled my card from my bag, “please call.”

“Thank you Eva, I really appreciate this,” he said as he took my card.

I looked at my watch. “Paul I need to be going, thank you for the tea,” I said as I took

another swallow.

“You’re welcome, I hope to see you again.”

“You will, I’ll be back next week to check on your mother.” I said smiling.

As we walked toward the door he asked, “Are you going to the apple festival this

weekend?”

“Yes I am. I’m going with a friend, are you going?”

“I wouldn’t miss it, hopefully I will see you there.” He smiled.

“Hope so… May I ask you a question?”

“Sure, ask away.”

“Where are you from? I love your accent.”

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 “Accent… what accent? You are the one with the accent,” he said with a chuckle. “No

seriously, the UK.”

As I walked out the door I waved and said, “hope to see you this weekend, if you need

anything just call.”

Paul waved and stepped back into his home as I pulled away. I drove down the road

toward the office. Today was my day to report to the office. I needed to drop off Mrs.

Long’s DNR and pick up my patient information for the next two weeks. I drove another

fifteen minutes and pulled into the parking lot for the office. The whole shopping

complex was festooned with apple decorations. I guess this Apple Festival was a big deal

in this area. The festival started tomorrow so I made a mental note to call Geri when I got

home.

I walked into the office and Joyce met me with a warm smile. “Hi Eva, so how was

your first week on the job?” she asked cheerily.

“Wonderful, I don’t know why I didn’t do home health before this.”

“I’m so glad to hear you say that, not everyone is cut out for this.”

“I really enjoyed meeting the different patients, getting to know them. It is all so

interesting,” I explained as I handed her Mrs. Long’s DNR.

Joyce looked at what I had handed her, “Oh that’s right we were waiting for this. I’ll

get this filed and sent to her family physician.” She said as she made extra copies of the

forms.

“Hey are you going to the apple festival tomorrow?” Joyce asked.

“Yes I’m going with a new friend from town. Is it nice, I mean I don’t know what to

expect?”

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 “It’s fun,” Joyce exclaimed with childish glee. “The whole town and the surrounding

communities show up. There are craft tables, food venders, contests and lots more. Its fun

for everyone, you’ll really enjoy yourself.”

“Sounds like a great time.” I said with a smile. “I hope I see you there.”

“My daughter is in the talent competition so I will be there most of the weekend.” She

smiled as she handed me the charts for my patients next week.

“Thanks, Good luck to your daughter this weekend.” I said as I walked out the door.

It was lunchtime so I decided to cross the lot and head into the local burger place.

When I walked in the door the place was full. I looked around and found an open stool at

the bar. I walked over and sat down. I picked up the menu and glanced through it quickly.

I decided to order a burger and onion rings. I did work out at the pool recently, I told

myself, trying to not feel bad about the fatty meal. I put the menu back and waited for the

waitress.

“Hi,” said a voice to my left.

I turned to face the voice. It was a man who looked a few years older than me. He was

smiling so I answered, “Hi.”

“My name is Woody.”

“Nice to meet you Woody, I’m Eva,” I said a little hesitantly, I didn’t want anyone

trying to pick me up. I had enough men in my life, I was kind of promised to Mike and…

well Jesse.

“Don’t worry I am not trying to hit on you.” He chuckled. “You should see the

expression on your face.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said as I turned my face away a little embarrassed.

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 “I guess I could never win at poker, my poker face sucks.” I added trying to hide my

embarrassment.

He laughed, “I do have to say, if I was a single man I would have… But Laura

wouldn’t appreciate it that much.” He said showing his wedding ring.

“I guess she wouldn’t,” I responded with a chuckle as I looked at his ring.

“The reason I am bothering you is… we have a choral group here in town and I heard

you singing the other day in your car, I think you would fit in our little group, we need

some new blood.”

“That was you in the car next to mine the other day?” I asked astonished. “I’m so

sorry… I am not a singer, in fact I swore off singing that day.” I said turning many shades

of red.

“No don’t be sorry, you have a good voice, with a little training you would have a

wonderful voice.

The waitress came over, I ordered and thanked her.

“Will you at least think about it Eva?” He asked pleadingly.

“I will.” I said knowing full well I would never say yes to him and his chorus.

We spent the next half hour or so chatting and enjoying our lunch. When the waitress

returned with our checks Woody grabbed them both. “Let me please… I enjoyed your

company, at least let me buy you lunch”.

“I can’t let you do that… Please,” I said reaching for my own check.

“I won’t hear of it. I will pay for them both and that’s the end of it,” He said in a fake

authoritative voice.

“Alright, but let me leave the tip,” I said giving in.

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 “Wow, that never works on my wife,” He chuckled. “Maybe I should have you talk to

her.”

“I left a five dollar tip and walked with Woody to the register. He paid both checks

and we walked out together.

“Thanks for lunch Woody,” I said extending my hand to shake his.

He shook my hand, “My pleasure, and thanks for the company.” He smiled. “Are you

going to the apple festival tomorrow?” He asked.

“Yes I’ll be there,” I answered.

“Well our chorus is performing during the opening ceremonies. I hope you will come,

maybe it will convince you to join us.” He smiled.

“I’ll see you there,” I said as I started toward my SUV.

“Great, I’ll introduce you to the group and my wife.” He said as he headed toward his

vehicle.

Back in the flow of traffic again, I reached down and turned on the radio. A rock song

from the seventies thumped through the car. I drove automatically, not thinking of where

I was going but all the while knowing I was heading home. My mind was preoccupied

with my dilemma of Jesse and Mike. Do I tell Jesse about my upcoming date with Mike,

does he already know? I can’t tell Mike about Jesse. No, he would think I was crazy.

How can I ever tell anyone about my relationship with Jesse? I turned onto the less

travelled road that I live on.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a fast moving blur dart in front of my car. I

slammed on the breaks and screamed. Just before my SUV made contact, I saw the face

of a young girl. Her eyes were wide and mouth was open in a silent scream. When the car

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came to a stop, I sat motionless for just a second waiting for my heart to restart. I went

into auto pilot, I grabbed my nursing bag from the passenger seat and quickly got out of

the car. I raced to the spot I thought the young girl would be laying. She wasn’t there. I

quickly looked under the SUV thinking maybe she was trapped under the wheels. She

wasn’t there either. I walked all around the car. I couldn’t find anything, no girl and not

even blood on the road. All I found were the skid marks I had left on the road. How could

this be? I saw her just before my car hit her. A thought entered my mind, maybe the

impact threw her into the brush next to the road. I searched the left side of the road,

nothing but trash and weeds. I crossed to the other side of the road, separated some brush

and found a wooden cross lying on the ground with fading white paint. I looked closer

and saw a name, Carley Sue Kenny 1986. What was this? I sat it upright and under the

cross was a pile of disintegrating plastic flowers. “This must be a marker for where

Carley died,” I said out loud. I looked back toward my car and saw the young girl

running across the road again chasing a ball. I started to yell a warning when I saw her

look toward my car, again a silent scream. Then she was gone.

I grabbed my head… and started shaking it back and forth. What is happening to me?

Is all of this really happening? I don’t like this… I can’t take this… What if I get to

where I can’t tell real people from ghosts or hallucinations?

I hurried into my SUV and sped down the road feeling like I was running for my life,

or at least my sanity.

I pulled into my drive, turned off the car and ran into my house. I felt as if something

was chasing me… I felt as if whatever it was caught me I would slip into a world of

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hallucinations or make believe. I slammed the door and locked it. I went to the fridge and

pulled out a beer and took a long swallow.

“Am I losing my mind?” I said to the empty kitchen. I need to get back to reality…

Mike… I’ll call Mike. I found his number and dialed with shaking hands.

“Hello you have reached Mike’s phone, if you haven’t guessed yet, I’m not

available… Just leave a message and I will call you back ASAP.”

I tried to sound normal. “Hi Mike, just wanted to see what you were up to… um… call

me back when you can… if you want…ok… that’s all… bye.” I hated leaving messages

and always had trouble trying to figure out what to say. I always sounded so lame.

I walked over to my computer; maybe if I do some surfing I might feel better. I

decided to pull up the local paper and read about the apple festival that was going to start

tomorrow. I typed in the name of the local paper and apple festival. Articles came up

explaining that this was the 45th anniversary of the festival. The theme of the festival is

Memories. The festival chair woman explained in the article that they were going back to

the early 1900’s to celebrate the beginning of the apple orchards in the area. A schedule

of events closed out the article.

“Well Tink, it sounds like I am going to have a fun time.” I said as she jumped up on

my desk and bumped her head against mine purring. I placed Tink on my lap and stroked

her soft fur. The paper had a search engine so I typed in Carley Sue Kenny and hit enter.

An article came up about a young girl being killed by a drunk driver as she crossed the

road chasing a ball. I looked at the year, it was 1986. A chill ran down my spine. I tried to

get the thought out of my mind by searching for book and movie reviews. I made a list of

four books that I wanted to pick up at the local book store. I usually liked Horror movies,

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but today I decided to avoid that type all together. I made a list of two, I guess you would

call them, chick flicks and one action movie. My next trip into town I will stop at the

local rental store and pick up at least one. I spent the next few hours surfing and chatting

with friends I had made online. I glanced out the window during a lull in my conversation

with a friend in Australia, and realized it was getting dark outside. I typed my goodbyes

to my friend on the computer and pulled up my email before I walked to the kitchen to

get something to eat. I decided on a bowl of chicken and rice soup. I opened the can,

added water and put it in the microwave. I walked back to the computer waiting for my

soup to heat. I saw an email from Jen and opened it.

Eva, sorry again about the other night but that board scared the Hell out of me. I need

to tell you I think I made a mistake… I told Keith about what happened. He didn’t

believe me but he decided he needed to check on you himself. He said he was leaving

tomorrow to head to your place. (Sorry I also told him where you live)

Please don’t be mad at me, I hope he doesn’t cause too much trouble.

Again I am sorry… I will email you soon.

Stay safe

Jen.

I looked at the date. She sent this the day before Keith showed up at my door. If I had

checked my email I would have had a warning. The microwave beeped, I went back into

the kitchen and got my soup. I poured out what was left of my now flat warm beer,

grabbed a bottle of water and headed back to the computer.

I saw another email from Jen. I opened it.

I just talked to Keith… What happened up there? He said your new boyfriend and him

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 got into a fight and you threw him out after he kicked your boyfriend’s ass.

I laughed at this part remembering Keith’s screams when my eyes were closed.

Keith tells me he never wants to see you again… That he told you it was over. Is

that what really happened? Nothing scary or spooky? Eva I have a question… Keith

asked me out… do you mind? If you think it is too weird I won’t… He wants to take

me to dinner. I won’t go till you email me.

Stay safe

Jen

So Keith wants to take Jen out. I don’t think that will bother me at all. I played it over

in my head and every way I looked at it… It didn’t bother me. Maybe they will be good

for each other. So I returned her email.

Jen no it didn’t happen like that… but if that’s what Keith wants to believe who am I

to challenge his perception of the situation? And if you want to go out with Keith

it won’t bother me. Please remember his past… don’t lose yourself with him, he is

very controlling… but he does have a fun and good side. Just be careful, but enjoy

yourself.

Missing you

Eva

I hit send then sat and ate my soup looking at the screen. The phone rang and I almost

jumped out of my seat. My heart started to race.

“Maybe it’s Mike.” I said to Tink as I crossed the room to the phone.

“Hello?”

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 “Hi Eva it’s me Geri.” She said with a cheerful voice. “Do you still want to meet me

at the apple festival tomorrow evening?”

“Oh yeah, I had planned on calling you in a little while.” I said. “What time and

where?”

“Well I figured I would pick you up around five. We will meet Linda, Stacey and

Rebecca at the center stage.”

“Who are Stacey and Rebecca?” I asked.

She chuckled, “Mike’s sister and her daughter.”

“Mike’s s…s…sister and niece? I stammered. “What are you trying to do to me

Geri?”

“Don’t worry, no one knows… Yours and Mike’s secret is safe with me. That is till I

can come up with something to blackmail you with.”

“You’re evil,” I said chuckling. “I’ll be ready at five, see you tomorrow.”

“Ok see you then.”

“Bye Geri,”

“Bye Eva.”

I hung up the phone and started worrying about tomorrow. Not only am I meeting

Mike’s daughter, but I am meeting his sister and niece. I started feeling the butterflies

take flight in my stomach. The news said the weather was going to be nice. I walked to

my closet and started looking through my things. I settled on a pair of capris and a pale

blue t-shirt. I guess I was as ready as I will ever be.

I walked back into the living room and logged off of my computer. I took my bowl

and empty bottle to the kitchen. I washed my dishes I had neglected the last few days and

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put the empty bottle in the recycling bin. I decided to do a small load of laundry. I

gathered up my bras and panties and took them to the washer in the basement. I loaded

the washer then walked over to the corner and grabbed a broom. I started sweeping in the

corner under the steps. I moved a pile of dust and saw something on the floor. I examined

the floor. In small block letters were the initials JCG with the year 1912 written in the

cement. I squatted and ran my fingers over the letters.

“Jesse,” I whispered.

Why is this happening to me? Why am I the one who is seeing things? Why now? I

stood up and finished sweeping the room. I used the dust pan and emptied it into the trash

bin next to the washer. I sat on the steps for I don’t know how long trying to make sense

of everything that was going on in my life. Then finally the washer buzzed bringing me

back to my senses. I put everything in the dryer and went upstairs.

I decided to get a shower. I went to my room, got my robe and pj’s then walked to the

bathroom to get my shower. I stepped in the shower and it was already hot. That man is

so wonderful, he supplied me with hot water, installed my appliances and to top it all off

he is great looking. I can’t wait till Mike comes home. I started shampooing my hair, the

smell of lavender filled the room. Through the sound of the water I heard the phone ring.

I wrapped a towel around my soapy head, threw on a robe and ran for the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi Eva.”

It was Mike, oh it was so good to hear his voice. “Hi Mike!” I said a little too eagerly.

“I was surprised to hear your message. I really didn’t expect you to call.”

“I’m sorry, was that ok?” I asked.

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 “Yeah it’s great that you called. I just didn’t expect it, anytime you want to call me I

want you to.” He said hastily.

“I’ll have to remember that,” I said with relief.

“Eva, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I can tell something is wrong… tell me please.”

“I just needed to hear your voice, that’s all; I just had a bad day.”

“Anything I can help you with? Do you need me to come home?”

“No… You would do that for me?” I asked surprised.

“Yes I would. I would do anything for you… remember I’m your hero. It’s my job to

save you.”

Oh boy…should I tell him about Keith? No I better not. I think if I did he would come

running back here to take care of Keith. I chuckled to myself; Keith was already taken

care of.

“Eva…Eva, are you there?”

“What?” I asked bewildered.

“Where did you go just now?” he asked worriedly.

I lied, “well I am worried about meeting your cousin Geri and your sister Stacy and

the girls tomorrow.”

“What?” he asked.

“Oh, I met your cousin at the gym the other day and she invited me to join her and

your daughter at the apple festival. I hope you don’t mind.

“Mind, why would I mind? I love that all my special girls are meeting tomorrow.”

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 His words made my heart skip a beat… his special girls… he included me in as one of

his special girls. “That makes me feel so much better. I was afraid you would be upset.”

“Is that why you sounded so nervous when you called earlier?”

“Yeah,” again I lied.

“So what are you up to tonight, anything fun? There aren’t any new handy men

around there tonight is there?”

“No, I sent them all home when I was done with them.” I teased. “Well actually I was

just in the shower.”

“Oh really? Is this when I start breathing heavy and ask what are you wearing pretty

lady?” he said in a mocking perverted way.

I laughed and said, “Just a towel and a few bubbles.”

“Oh yeah?” he said in a deep breathy voice.

“Stop that… you are so bad.”

“Do you really want me to stop?” he asked.

“At least for now,” I said laughing, “the shampoo is burning my eyes.”

“Alright, I will stop for now. He paused for a moment then said, “Eva, I do want you

to know that if you need me please call. I will drop everything and come home if you

need me. Please remember that.”

“I will… I promise.” I answered.

“Eva, will you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Now that’s dangerous when said to a man, don’t you know that?” he chuckled. “But

seriously, think of me tonight when you are lying in bed.”

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 “Wha…”

“You said anything,” he said interrupting me. “Every night I fall asleep thinking of

you, could you try it for me tonight? Who knows, maybe we can meet in our dreams?”

His last words scared me a little. “Sure I will, but I don’t think you would enjoy being

in my dreams, they are kind of boring.”

“Please,” he pleaded.

“Alright I can’t say no to you, I will try.”

“Again that is dangerous territory there girl.” He said chuckling. “Go rinse your head

before you get any more soap in your eyes.”

“Bye Mike.”

“Bye Eva, dream of me.”

I hung up the phone and walked back to the bathroom. I turned the water back on and

got in. I finished my shower and rinsed my hair. I dried off and got dressed. On my way

to my bedroom I turned Mike’s request over in my head. I crawled into bed and covered

up. Do I dream of Jesse and know that I will meet him in my dreams, or do I try to dream

of Mike? I am dream cheating… I closed my eyes and replayed every moment I have had

with Mike. The first day I met him, his offering of coffee, our dinner his last night here. I

pictured his wonderful smile and could almost hear his melodious laugh. I remembered

checking out his body, his muscles… and re-lived his kiss.

I fell asleep thinking of Mike.

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 Chapter ten
I looked around the scene. Everything was in sepia. I could hear someone calling my

name. I turned and there was Mike running toward me with a large smile on his face.

“There you are, I have been looking for you everywhere.”

“You have? I have been here all along.” I said playing into the dream.

“So where are we going on our first date?” he asked excitedly.

“Wherever you want to go.” I answered.

“How about we just stay here? I have been traveling for quite a few hours to get home

to you.”

“Sounds Great.”

We walked up the sepia colored steps into my sepia colored house.

“Hey, let’s put on some music and dance.” Mike said.

“Alright, turn on the stereo.”

Mike grabbed my hand. I expected the room to burst into color when he touched me,

but it didn’t. We started to dance. Mike started to hum along with the music. This was

just like when Jesse and I danced in this very room. I closed my eyes and put my head on

Mike’s chest.

“May I cut in?” a voice asked.

“Sure can Sir,” Mike answered.

I opened my eyes and looked up to see Jesse standing in front of me. I looked at Mike,

he was backing away from us fading into the wall.

“Mike, don’t go….please.”

“Eva you know I am just a dream.” Mike said as he faded completely away.

Jesse held his hand out to me, “Shall we?” He asked.

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 I touched his hand and the colors exploded. We danced in silence. I was afraid to look

at him. Will he be mad? How am I going to explain Mike to Jesse. We danced in silence

for what seemed like and eternity.

“Are you mad?” I finally asked with my head still buried in his strong chest.

“Now why would I be mad at you my darling Eva?” he said still holding me close.

“Well… because Mike was here.” I answered.

“Eva my darling, yes you were dreaming of him, but he was not here. He was just a

dream.”

“Isn’t that what you are?” I questioned, still afraid to look at him.

Jesse gently pushed me back from his chest and cupped my face in both of his strong

hands. “I guess my darling, in a way that is exactly what I am, but when I am with you I

am no longer just a dream, or a wisp of smoke you might see out of the corner of your

eye.” He thought for a moment then said. “Even though I am no longer physically real, I

feel more real and alive with you than I have ever experienced before.” He kissed me

softly on the forehead. “No my darling, I am not mad…a little sad…but not mad, I could

never be mad at you.”

“I am so sorry I am the reason you’re sad.”

“Eva, please don’t be… any emotion, I am grateful for. For so long I didn’t feel

anything. “Now,” he paused and looked around the room, “I feel happiness, sadness and

love, and all of it is a gift from you and your light. Don’t ever apologize for making me

feel again.”

“I will stop dreaming of him, if that will make you happy again.” I said as my eyes

welled up with tears.

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 “No darling, the dream didn’t make me sad… the fact that I can never give you what

he can is what makes me sad. I can never walk under the warm sun holding hands with

you. I can never take you to a picture show. And worst of all,” he stopped and turned

away from me not finishing his thought.

I reached up and touched his chin and turned him back to face me. “Jesse none of that

matters, we have each other now. Tonight we are together.”

“I know Eva but… someday you will need or want something more than what I can

give you.” He said as his voice broke with emotion.

“All I want is here, right here with you.”

“Eva, I know someday you will have to leave me and our dream world, I have known

that since the first time I entered your dreams.”

“Please… let’s not talk about that right now Jesse. I will stay here with you as long as

you want me.”

“No Eva, you will only stay with me till he comes home,” he said motioning to the

spot in the wall where the dream Mike had disappeared. “That gentleman can give you

everything I can not.”

“What if I don’t want anything from anyone but you?” I said as tears started trickling

down my face.

“Eva I would love to think that was possible but I can’t give you the most important

thing there is.”

“And what is that?” I said getting more upset.

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 “A family…. I can’t give you children and that just tears my soul apart.” He said as

one solitary tear formed then fell from his glorious eyes. Then he surprised me by

grabbing my shoulders and gently shaking me, “Wake up Eva, its time to wake up.”

I closed my eyes for just a moment. When I opened them again I was in my bed. My

pillow was wet from my tears.

“That wasn’t fair Jesse; you can’t just wake me up to get out of a conversation!” I said

loudly to the empty room. I looked at the clock, it was just after 3am. What am I going

to do now? I got out of bed. The house seemed so quiet and empty. I walked to the

living room and picked up the book I had neglected and decided to read. After a few

chapters I glanced around the room again, something felt “off” about my house. I felt

alone. I hadn’t felt that way since I moved in.

“Jesse, are you there somewhere?” I waited for some kind of answer, but none came.

“Jesse, please don’t leave.” I begged out loud to the empty room. I felt so alone. I closed

my book and lay on the couch. What am I going to do? I think I am in love with a ghost,

and infatuated with a man who is a few states away. This is getting so complicated. The

thought of my life without Jesse is unbearable, but I know he can’t give me everything I

need. Mike on the other hand is a wonderful man, but he just isn’t Jesse. Tink came

walking into the living room.

“Tink, my head hurts.” She looked at me and meowed. I walked into the kitchen to get

something for my head. Tink rubbed all over my legs purring.

“Hungry this early?” I asked as I pulled out a can of cat food. “Ok, I’ll feed you now but

no more till dinnertime.” I placed her bowl on the floor. I took my headache pills and

watched Tink eat. Could I be happy spending the rest of my life in my dream world with

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Jesse? If I am not dreaming with Jesse, can I be happy with Mike? My head was

pounding. I went back to the couch and silently wept. I don’t know how long I laid there

crying but I finally fell back asleep.

I was walking around the sepia colored barn. I peeked inside and the preparations for the

party were almost complete. I didn’t step into the barn, remembering the warning from

Jesse to stay out of there.

“Jesse, are you in there?” I called into the large open space, but no one answered.

I walked around the barn and entered the house.

“Jesse, are you in here?” I called from the kitchen. The house answered me with an

eerie silence. I walked from room to room looking for him, but he was nowhere to be

found. Maybe he has gone fishing I thought. I will just stay here till he comes back.

I spent the next, what seemed like hours, being nosey going from room to room and

getting to know Jesse’s world. In the living room I was surprised to see the furniture was

laid out in almost the same way. With the addition of my newly acquired victrola they

did seem quite similar. On the wall above the sofa were separate pictures of who I

guessed were Jesse’s parents, all stiff with high collars and no smiles. Above my sofa

was a framed picture of my parents on one of their many trips, smiling from ear to ear

with a setting sun as a backdrop. I looked at the pictures closer. I could tell where Jesse

got his rugged good looks, he looked like his father, but his beautiful eyes were definitely

his mothers. I walked over to the victrola, the record was the same as the one in my

player. I guessed it was the one we danced to the other night. I walked to what was my

spare room next. It again was arranged similarly. Bed against the same wall, dresser in

the same location, the only thing missing was a litter box. Next was my room, or Jesse’s

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room. Everything was in exactly the same place, even the over stuffed chair and small

table in the corner. His room was stark white. Pale blue curtains hung at the windows

and a quilt with a star pattern adorned his bed. I opened his closet. Mostly work clothes

hung neatly from the hangers. Three suits hung at one end with highly polished shoes

sitting on the floor. I closed the closet doors. I walked across the room and sat in the

chair in the corner. On the table were a photo album and a few envelopes. I opened the

album and looked through the pages. His parents wedding picture was first, again in

starched collars and not smiling. The remainder of the pictures were collections of kids

and various adults. I watched Jesse grow up before my eyes. I could pick him out in

every group picture. In the back were two newspaper clippings, one of his father’s death

and the other of his mother’s wedding announcement to a wealthy gentleman in

Pittsburgh. I turned the page expecting to see some of the articles I had read about Jesse

from the library archives, but the pages were blank. I guess since he didn’t seem like

someone who would boast he wouldn’t have any of the articles. I continued looking

through drawers and shelves. I couldn’t believe that I was being this nosey. I have never

been one to nib, but I guess I felt that this was my own home so it was alright.

When I was done I decided to sit on the porch and wait for Jesse. I walked onto the

porch and sat on the swing. The day was beautiful, even without color I could tell the sky

was crystal blue, just like Jesse’s eyes. The faint wisps of clouds lazily passed overhead.

Birds were calling and flying effortlessly through the vast open sky. A small rabbit

hopped into my view in the field across the road. I sat and watched the small creature. It

was sitting on it’s haunches licking its front paws then wiping them over his head and

ears. It struck me as odd that in Jesse’s world I see and appreciate nature more. In my

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world I guess I don’t have time, or make time, to see the beauty. I closed my eyes and

deeply inhaled the clean refreshing air. I don’t know how long I sat like this but an odd

feeling started to overwhelm me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on the feeling. I opened

my eyes and I was back in my living room with Tink sitting next to me purring. I

glanced out the window and was surprised to see full daylight, actually it looked like late

morning. I looked at my watch and I had indeed slept till shortly after 11am.

“Boy Tink I haven’t slept in this late in a long time.” I got off the couch and

remembered that I needed to be at Mrs. Zimmerman’s home by 12:30pm. Usually the

fact that I had cut my time so short to get ready would have caused me quite a bit of

anxiety, but today it didn’t seem to be bothering me. I did my morning thing and

showered. I decided I had time for a cup of coffee and some toast. I sat to enjoy my

breakfast/lunch when the phone rang. Immediately a thought popped into my head, poor

Mrs. Zimmerman. Now where did that come from? I asked myself. I picked up the

phone.

“Hello?” I said when I answered.

“Hi, Eva?” the woman’s voice on the other end of the line asked.

“That’s me, what can I do for you?” I questioned.

“Eva its Joyce, the secretary from work,” she offered.

“Oh hi, what’s up?” I asked.

“I am so glad I caught you before you left for your client’s home,” she said sounding

honestly grateful. “I have a little bad news for you this morning.” She announced.

“What’s that?” I asked even though I had a feeling I knew what she was going to say.

“Mrs. Zimmerman passed away this morning a little after 10am.”

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 “She did?” I said in disbelief.

“Yes she was taking a nap the aid said and when she went in to wake her for her lunch

she was gone.” She explained without much feeling.

“That’s so sad…. Do they need me at the house for anything?” I asked thinking about

a possible family.

“No, everything is taken care of so you have an extra day off,” she said a little too

cheerily for the situation I felt. “We will have you another client in a few days; there are

always new ones to replace the ones that pass away.” She said without much feeling.

“Ok thanks,” I said

“We will call you soon, enjoy your extra day off Eva, bye”

“Bye” I said as I heard her hang up. I guess working in this business you might get a

little desensitized, I sure hope I don’t. I started thinking about Mrs. Zimmerman. I know

at her age death was not too far off, but that doesn’t lessen the effect it has on people who

knew the deceased. I started wondering how I knew when the phone rang that Mrs.

Zimmerman had passed. In fact I knew before the phone rang. I had a feeling when I

woke up that I didn’t need to rush out of my house to see her. I must have known on

some level that she had passed. This is all so crazy, not only am I seeing ghosts, dating a

ghost but now I have feelings when someone passes. How is all of this possible? My

head started to hurt again. How am I supposed to handle this? How am I supposed to

stay in the world of the sane when all of this crazy stuff is happening to me?

I wish I had someone to talk to. Jen? No, she would never contribute to a

conversation about ghosts after the whirling Ouija board incident. Keith? No, just no.

There is no incident awful enough to involve Keith. Mike? I thought for a few

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moments…no, if I didn’t want to scare the poor boy away I had to keep this to myself. I

just had to handle this all on my own. I had to face the fact that I see ghosts, interact with

ghosts, and know when people will pass. I just wish I knew what brought this on … why

now… why me? While I was lost in thought the phone rang pulling me back from the

tangle my mind had gotten itself into.

“Hello?” I answered after the third ring.

“Hey Eva, its Geri how are you today?” she said cheerily.

“Doing good, how are you Geri,” I asked.

“Great here, so are you still up for the apple festival this evening?”

“Yeah, just the three of us right?” I asked jokingly knowing full well that Mike’s sister

and niece would be there.

“Well us, and two more, Stacey and Becky.” She said sounding a little guilty. “Don’t

you remember that they are coming too?

“Yeah I remember, but I was trying to forget,” I said with a grin.

“You scared me there for a moment, I thought you had lost it,” she said chuckling a

little nervously.

“His sister and niece, what are you trying to do to me, give me a heart attack?” I asked

a little panicked. “You said they have no idea who I am?”

“No, they think you are just a new friend I met at the gym. Don’t worry, they don’t

know that you are their future sister-in-law and aunt.

“Wait a minute, aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself? We haven’t even been

on a date yet.” I added.

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I had the terrible sensation that I was being led to slaughter. My mind was racing in so

many different directions at the same time. What if I make a fool of myself? What if his

family doesn’t like me? Even worse, what if I don’t like them? This simple evening

could make or break my and Mike’s relationship. Can I do this? I guess if I can handle

ghosts and a whirling Ouija board I could handle an evening with Mike’s sister.

“Well bring it on!” I said laughing nervously. “What time do you want to pick me

up?”

“How about 4:30?” she asked. “And don’t worry, they will love you Eva,” she said

reassuringly.

“Sounds great, I better add a little more deodorant tonight,” I said teasingly. “I’ll be

ready when you get here. Later, Geri.”

“Later, Eva. Again, don’t worry, you’ll do fine. I’ll see you at 4:30.” and at that she

hung up the phone.

Mike’s sister and niece, wow how am I going to get through tonight? What am I

going to do? I started to get really nervous.

I spent the next few hours fretting about meeting Mike’s family. I busied myself with

cleaning my already clean house. When there was nothing left to clean I decided to read

my poorly neglected book. Finally after a few pages I became engrossed in my current

book. As a young girl reading was my favorite pastime. Reading books would help me

escape from my boring life and experience worlds, loves and lifetimes I knew I would

never be able to outside of the pages of a well written book.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was time to get ready for the festival. I had

started wishing that I had never agreed to go. I dressed in a pair of capris and my blue t-

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shirt that I had picked out the day before. I looked at myself in the mirror. I guess I

looked presentable to meet Mike’s family. I brushed my hair and pulled the front into a

clip leaving the rest to flow down my back. I applied makeup lightly. I grabbed my

wallet out of my purse and stuffed money in my front pocket as I walked onto the front

porch and waited for Geri.

Standing there I started thinking about my dream with Jesse. Is he avoiding me? Did he

leave? I couldn’t quite decide what was going on.

Geri pulled up in a mini van. I walked to the passenger side rear door where I could

see an empty seat. I wasn’t prepared for them to be in the van, I thought we were

meeting them at the festival. I thought I was going to have time to ask Geri a few things

about them. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hi Eva, you ready for some good old fashioned fun?” she asked excitedly.

“Sure am.” I said with false excitement.

“Eva this is Stacey,” she said gesturing to the woman in the front passenger seat.

“Hi Eva,” Stacey said as she turned to face me. “And this is Linda and Becky.”

“Hi Stacey,” I said. Then I turned to face the kids sitting next to me, “What beautiful

young ladies, hello ladies.” I said to the girls.

They chuckled and both said “Hi” in unison.

We spent the twenty minute drive talking about the festival. Geri and Stacey had been

going since they were Linda and Geri’s age. It all sounded like quaint fun. When we

arrived at the festival, I was surprised to see so many cars. We all got out and walked

toward the center of town. All along a two block area were many tables of hand made

foods and crafts. We checked out each booth. I made a few mental notes of the tables I

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wanted to stop at before we left. We walked to the center stage and there was an

announcer welcoming “all friends, old and new” to share in the festivities. He ran down

the events for the evening and pointed out where the schedule of events for the next few

days was posted.

I heard someone calling my name. I looked up and there was Woody getting ready to

go up on the stage. The choir was lined up on the risers and prepared to sing.

The announcer introduced the choir. They opened with “Amazing Grace” and sang

through quite a few songs. They closed with “Proud to be an American.” They sounded

wonderful. The audience all stood and applauded. As the choir was leaving the stage

Woody was waving his arm trying to get me to come over to him. I excused myself from

Geri, Linda, Stacey and Rebecca and walked over to Woody.

“Hey Geri, I am so glad you came!” Woody said as he was pulling a pretty blond

behind him.

“Hi Woody, you guys were wonderful!” I said honestly.

“Thanks, they did do an awesome job didn’t they?” he said gesturing in the direction of

the choir who were removing their robes behind the stage. “Eva this is my wife

Mahryan.” He said as he turned to smile at the pretty blond he had in tow. “Rye this is

the lady I met in the Diner that I’d told you about.”

“Nice to meet you Eva,” Mahryan said as she smiled warmly. “I hear Woody here is

trying to get you to join our little group.”

“Yeah, the poor man caught me singing in my car and it must have caused some

hearing damage. For some reason he thinks I can sing.” I said smiling. “Mahryan, is it?”

“Just call me Rye, that’s what everyone else calls me.”

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 “Rye, please talk some sense into your man. I can’t sing, but I really appreciate the

offer.”

I heard Geri calling to me from across the crowd. “I gotta go, nice to meet you Rye, and

Woody I owe you lunch some time.”

“Hope to see ya again,” Woody said smiling. “We have to get back to the group, enjoy

the festival,” he said as they both waved and returned to their group.

I started walking back to my little group and spotted another familiar face.

“Hi Paul, how’s your mom?” I said as Paul and a beautiful brunette and a young boy

walked up to me.

“Still the same. Eva, this is my fiancé Nikki,” he said as he put his arm around her.

“And this is my soon to be step son Adam.” He said as he pulled the young boy from

behind him. “Nikki, Adam this is Eva, she is Mom’s nurse.”

“Nice to meet you both,” I said “Did you enjoy the choir?”

“Yes very much so,” Nikki said.

“It was ok,” Adam said. “Can I go now, I see my buddies.” He said as he looked to

Paul for permission.

“Sure bud… meet us here in two hours Ok?”

“Alright, can I have some money?” he said with an innocent grin. “All my buddies

said their parents gave them ten bucks.”

Paul pulled out his wallet and handed the boy who looked about 12 years old a ten

dollar bill. “Make this last.” He said as he grinned and handed him the money.

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 Adam grabbed it and ran off before Paul could give him anymore rules. We all

laughed watching him run off to gather with a group of rowdy boys near the concession

stands.

“That money will only last him fifteen minuets” Nikki said laughing.

“Hey Eva.” Came Geri’s voice from across the dwindling crowd.

“Sorry Paul, Nikki I need to get over to my friends before they come and drag me

away. Nice to meet you Nikki, see you next week Paul,” I said as I walked back to Geri.

“Sorry guys,” I said as I met back with my group.

“So who was that good looking guy?” Stacey said gesturing toward Woody. “Is that

someone you like?”

I looked at Geri and she looked like she was going to let out the secret about Mike

and me, “No,” I said quickly before Geri could say anything. “He is just a friend and that

blonde is his wife.”

“Are you dating anyone? Because if not, I have been known to be quite the

matchmaker.” She said winking at me. “What kind of guys do you like?”

Again Geri looked like she was going to bust. “I … um…. I just got out of a bad

relationship and I am not really looking right now.” I said slightly apologetically, hoping

I had not hurt her feelings by turning her offer down.

“That’s cool, but when you are ready I am here, super match maker at your service.”

She said with a beaming smile.

“Hey that’s enough match making talk, let’s get these kids to the games.” Geri said as

the girls squealed in unison.

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 I was so thankful for Geri’s distraction. I grabbed Linda and Becky in hand and

started skipping with them toward the games. “Last one there is a rotten egg,” I called

back over my shoulder. The girls looked back and in unison said “Yeah,” and we broke

into a jog.

We spent hours playing games, watching demonstrations on making candy apples,

eating and just having a great time. Stacey wanted to enter the apple peeling contest so

we went back to center stage. I sat in the audience with the girls while Geri and Stacey

sat at the competition table. I could see a family resemblance between Mike and Stacey.

She was tall and had a wonderful figure. Her hair was long and flowing free with soft

waves. The honey colored hair glistened in the sun and her green eyes were the perfect

shade to compliment her skin. I glanced at Becky, she had the same wavy long hair just

in a beautiful strawberry blonde color. Her eyes were large and blue, very inquisitive.

They were both beautiful. I looked at Linda, she was petite and china doll like. Blond

hair cut short giving her almost a pixie look. Mike has such a beautiful family. They all

seemed so happy and carefree. This is the kind of family anyone would feel happy to be

around.

The whistle blew signaling the start of the competition. The crowd started yelling the

name of their favorite peeler. I evenly routed for Geri and Stacey. The girls were

jumping and yelling for their favorite. The person who blew the whistle was watching a

stop watch. Stacey started laughing at something Geri whispered in her ear. She slipped

with her knife and cut through the apple peel. Stacey was disqualified.

Geri yelled to Stacey as she got up to leave the table, “All’s fair in love and apple

peeling.”

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 Stacey stuck her tongue out at Geri and came to join us in the crowd. The peelers

continued with the competition. In the next few seconds six people dropped out. Geri

and an older good looking gentleman were left in the competition. The judge signaled

the end of the competition by blowing his whistle. The winner would come down to who

had the longer peel. First they measured Geri’s; the official measurement was 64 inches

they announced. They walked over to the older gentleman’s apple and stretched out the

peel. 78inches, Mr. Kenneth Roe is the winner, they announced, and they raised his hand

as if he just won a prize fight. The crowd applauded. They handed Ken an envelope, he

opened it and raised a twenty dollar bill to the crowd.

“That was fun,” I said as Geri joined us.

“She cheats,” Stacey said pointing at Geri.

Geri laughed and said, “I can’t help it when you laugh your body goes into spasms.”

“Alright you two, you are as bad as little kids,” I said in a mockingly scolding voice.

“Hey it’s time for the bed races!” Linda shouted.

“The what?” I asked.

“The bed races,” Geri said. “They get a group of five people, four to run the bed and

the fifth to ride the bed.”

“The old metal bed is on wheels, the runners run it down the road to a designated spot.

The rider gets off, puts on a woman’s night gown and jumps back on the bed.” Stacey

explained.

“The fastest time wins the money.” Geri said. “It’s great to watch. Let’s get a spot on

the sidewalk so the girls can see.”

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We raced over and got the safest vantage point so the girls could see. I could see seven

groups ready to race. The whistle blew, the first group came barreling past us, stopped at

the designated spot, did the gown change and continued the race. The racers, in

succession, performed the same maneuvers. The last group looked like a big bunch of

burley bikers all dressed in black leather. They went running past us. The gown change

was hilarious, the large man riding the bed looked like he had a few to many beers in his

time. The gown wouldn’t quite go over his head and around his shoulders. He remedied

the situation by playing to the crowd and did a Hulk maneuver by flexing his muscles, the

gown ripped down the side and he was able to get it on. He bowed to the audience and

jumped back on the bed to finish the race. Needless to say they did not win the race, but

they won the affection of the audience.

“That was so fun,” I said, “Next year lets try it. I think we could give that big guy a

run for his money,” I said pointing toward the bikers.

“Sure, and I would fall flat on my face if I tried to run that fast,” Stacey said.

“Come on, lets shop on our way back to the van,” Geri said.

I looked at my watch and saw it was almost 10pm. I hadn’t realized how late it was, I

was having too much fun. We shopped, I picked up some home made apple butter, an

apple dumpling and a few crafts.

“I’m beat,” Geri said as we got back to the van.

“Me too,” Stacey said as she picked up Becky and helped her into the back seat.

“I had a great time, thank you so much for inviting me Geri,” I said.

“Hey, we’re glad you came.” Geri said as she climbed behind the wheel.

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 I helped Linda into her seat then climbed in myself. I was exhausted but I felt so

good. I had a wonderful time and enjoyed my company.

“Home James,” Stacey said to Geri as she pointed out the windshield.

I looked at Becky and Linda and they already had their eyes closed leaning on each

other.

Geri saw me looking at the girls, “They will be out before we leave the parking lot. I

wish I could fall asleep that fast.”

We drove back to my place with the music playing softly so we wouldn’t wake the

girls. When we got back to my place Geri put the van in park but kept it running.

She got out and came around to my door and opened it.

“Do you need help carrying your stuff into the house?” she asked.

“No, I got it, but thanks.” I said getting out and closing the van door gently.

Stacey put her window down and said, “Hey lets hang out some more, I had a great

time tonight.”

“Yeah I did to,” Geri said as she hugged me around my purchases. “I know we will

when Mike comes home.” She whispered into my ear while she squeezed me.

“I would really like that Stacey,” I said ignoring the jab from Geri.

Geri winked at me, “See ya soon Eva.”

“Bye Stacey, bye Geri, give me a call and we will go out again.” I said as I climbed

my porch stairs and placed my stuff on the swing. I waved when my hands were free.

They pulled out and went down the road. I unlocked and opened my door. I retrieved

my purchases from the swing and took them into the kitchen.

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I checked my answering machine wondering if Mike had called. I played the one

message.

“Eva this is Joyce from the office. I know I said it would be a week or so for a new

client, but one of our other nurses has the flu and I need you to make a visit

tomorrow evening at the Steuben apartments. I will email you the directions and a

copy of the patients chart. Please call when you get this message so I know if you can

do it or not. Again, I am sorry for the short notice.”

“Thanks”

I called the office and left a message on the office machine

“Joyce I just got your message, sure I will make the visit, email me the information, I

I will print it out here at my house. Please include any special things I need to do for

the patient.”

“Talk to you in a few days, bye”

I hung up the phone and decided to shower. It was now after 11pm so I locked the

front door, fed Tink and headed for the bathroom. I got in the shower and just stood there

letting the hot water run over my entire body. Under the hot water I finally allowed

myself to think about Jesse and what happened last night. Why did he force me to wake

up? Why did he not come back to me in my dream? Is he avoiding me? Did I do

something wrong? “Damn all I have is questions with no answers.” I said out loud to

myself. How am I supposed to fix what is wrong when I don’t really know myself. I just

stood in the water hoping the shower would make me feel better or help me understand

what was going on. I decided the shower wasn’t helping. I finished by washing my hair,

rinsed and got out of the shower. I wrapped in my robe and towel and headed to my

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room. I grabbed my night clothes and headed back to the bathroom. I changed, blew my

hair dry, brushed my teeth and headed back to my room. I turned off the lights and

crawled into bed. I fell asleep thinking about Jesse.

Chapter eleven

I was in his living room and I felt as if it took me a long time to find his place. The house

was empty, I could just tell by its feeling. It felt as if it had been empty for awhile. It was

an eerie feeling. A shiver ran down my spine, not because I was cold but because I was in

an abandoned home. That’s it, it feels as if Jesse abandoned his home. I feel as if he

abandoned me also. That was a feeling that had been in the back of my mind all day

today. A feeling I couldn’t quite put my finger on so I just ignored it. So what am I

doing here if I know he is not? I stood staring out the window to the field across the

road. The sepia colored long grass was still, no wind was making it dance. No birds

were flying across the sky. No bees buzzing the clover in the yard. Nothing.

I walked to his kitchen and looked around. On the counter was a note pad and a pencil. I

picked up the pencil and paper and sat at the table. I’ll write him a note, he has to come

home sometime. I was thinking of many things to write. Like why did you leave? What

did I do? I couldn’t make up my mind on a long letter or just a few words. If he has

abandoned his home and me will he even see it?

I finally decided on a simple short note.

Dear Jesse,

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 I don’t know what I did to make you leave but I am very sorry. I miss you horribly.

I just don’t like to dream anymore without you. Please come back, meet me in my

dreams tonight. Please.

Eva

I didn’t know if my feeble attempt at a note would matter or not but at least I know I tried

something. Now how do I get out of here? I have to wake myself up. I didn’t want to

spend all night in this world without Jesse.

“Wake up Eva,” I said out loud.

“Wake up Eva,” I said a little louder.

I closed my eyes and screamed at the top of my lungs “WAKE UP!”

I opened my eyes and I was back in my bedroom. I looked at the clock it was already

7am. I can’t believe it was morning already. It seemed as if I had just gotten into my

dream when I woke myself up.

I got out of bed and said out loud to the room just in case Jesse was listening, “Please

read my note and come back Jesse, I miss you.” I stood “feeling” the room. Jesse wasn’t

here, I don’t know how I knew but I did.

I made a quick stop in the bathroom. I turned the light off when I was finished then I

walked to my computer and turned it on and logged in. I walked to the kitchen and

started my coffee. I turned on the stereo then sat at the computer. I checked the weather

on my home page. I got up and went back to the kitchen. I fixed my coffee and made

some oatmeal in the microwave. I took my coffee and oatmeal to the computer desk. I

logged into my email and saw an email from Joyce. I opened it and the patient’s

important information was waiting for me.

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 I read the information while I ate my oatmeal. Joyce also included a map.

“Bless your heart Joyce, you think of everything.” I said to the computer screen.

I printed off the pertinent information and put it in my case for later in the evening. This

was to be an evening visit. I was to be there at 7pm to make sure the patient took the

right medicine and was ready for bed. An evening visit was odd for our company but the

patient’s daughter was out of town for a few weeks and she was worried that her mother

might not take her medicine. This sounded like an easy enough visit, I should be in and

out of there in under an hour.

I jumped when the phone sitting next to me rang. Who would be calling me this early.

“Hello?”

“Hi beautiful, I guess you made it through your day with Geri and Linda.” He said

chuckling.

“Hi Mike, yeah I just barley made it, they were so evil, I wasn’t quite sure I would

make it out of there alive.” I said chuckling in return.

“Seriously, what do you think of Geri and my sweet Linda?” he asked.

“They were wonderful, I had a great time.” I said enthusiastically. “You need to add a

few more people to that question though.”

“What do you mean?” he asked

“Stacey and Becky went with us.” I said.

“What? And you still made it out alive?” he sounded astonished. “Does Stacy know

that you and I are dating?”

“Um, doesn’t saying that we are dating require us to have gone on at least one date?” I

asked teasingly. Before he could answer I added “No, but she did offer to fix me up with

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someone, she seems real eager to do that. Do you think I should, maybe she knows a

cute guy I could date?” I said laughing.

“Hey we have a date scheduled…. Well kind of… Hey stop it, don’t tease me like

that.” He said sounding a little worried.

“All kidding aside, I love your family, they were all so nice.” I said. “And Geri kept

our secret, but I have a feeling when Stacy finds out she is gonna slap you for keeping it

from her.”

“You think so?” he said sounding relieved. “Hey let’s change the subject here,” he

said. “Do you remember the favor I asked you last night?”

“Yes, I do.” I said starting to get nervous.

“Well did you dream of me?” he asked.

What do I tell him? Do I tell him that yes I did dream of you, but my dream man came

in and chased you away? Do I tell him I didn’t dream of him and hurt his feelings?

“Eva, did you hear me?” he asked “Did you dream of me?”

“Sorry I didn’t hear you the first time,” I lied. “Your phone was breaking up,” another

lie. “Yes I did, we were dancing in my living room to the stereo, candles were lit and the

evening was beautiful.” Is omitting information lying?

“Sounds wonderful, I dreamt about you too.” He said with an ornery glint to his voice.

“I’m not sure I want to hear your dream.” I said chuckling.

“I can’t wait till I’m home so we can go out, this long distance romance thing is for

the birds.” He said sounding frustrated.

“How much longer do you think your job will take?” I asked.

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 “Anxious to see me are ya hun?” he teased. “Probably 4 or 5 weeks left and then I will

be coming home to you and Linda.”

“She’ll be happy to see her daddy.”

“And will you be happy to see me?” he questioned.

“Yeah I guess I kinda miss you, just kinda mind you.” I teased.

“Well… if that’s how you feel I could take another job and stay away longer.”

“Don’t you dare!” I warned. “I want you home, and till then don’t you find some

pretty young thing that needs her own private handy man.”

“I promise,” he said. “hey, you didn’t hear me roll my eyes, did you?” he laughed.

“Eva I have to go hun, work calls.”

“I hate this part, but bye Mike call again soon.” I said sounding disappointed.

“Bye Eva and remember, dream of me.” He whispered.

That brought a thought to mind, “Mike, are you still there?”

“Can’t stand to say bye to me can you, yeah you’re hooked,” he chided.

“Alright… I just wanted to give you my cell number. I’ll be in and out quite a bit with

work and I don’t want to miss your calls.” I explained.

“Yeah you’re hooked, you poor girl, you got it bad.” He teased. “Call me back and

leave it on my voice mail, I don’t have any paper right now.”

“Alright I will, bye Mike.”

“Bye Eva, dream of me.” He whispered again then he hung up.

I hated lying to Mike but I didn’t want him to know that my dream of him was

interrupted by Jesse. I also didn’t want him calling my home and leaving messages just

in case Jesse was listening. I know it was wrong, but I don’t want to hurt Jesse with

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Mike calling, and I didn’t want Mike to know about Jesse because he would think I was

crazy.

I had an acquaintance in Parkersburg who always dated more than one man at a time.

The men never knew, and she always had a great time. How in the heck did she do it? I

am exhausted trying to figure this thing out, and one of mine is a ghost.

I got up and took my empty coffee cup and cereal bowl to the kitchen, washed them

and put them away. I walked to my room and got my clothes for the day then went in the

bathroom and changed. Tink was waiting on the other side of the bathroom door when I

opened it.

“Hungry Tink?” I asked.

She wrapped herself around my legs and purred loudly. I walked to the kitchen and

opened a can of food for her. I put it on the floor and stroked her back as she ate. So

what do I do to keep busy today? I walked to my room and looked at my bed. That’s it, I

will strip my bed and wash and change the linens. I gathered up the sheets, pillow cases

and blankets and carried them to the basement. I loaded the washer, I couldn’t believe

how much you could put in one of these front load machines. It held everything. I

adjusted the settings then went back up the stairs. I went to my closet and pulled out

fresh sheets, cases and blankets and remade my bed. “Well that didn’t take as much time

as I thought it would. I walked back to the living room and turned on the TV. I started

watching the morning news program. I watched for about two hours. Nothing seemed to

be able to keep my mind off of Jesse and Mike. I just want one worry free day, no

worrying about Jesse’s feelings, and no worrying about Mike and what happens when he

comes home. In frustration I turned off the TV then went downstairs to put my bedding

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into the dryer. When I had finished I went to the kitchen. My case for my charts was on

the kitchen table. I looked through them and pulled out Gladys Smith’s chart. I opened

it. She didn’t have any visiting aids today. I wonder if she would mind a visitor today. I

looked at the clock, she should be up by now. I dialed her number. While the phone rang

I wondered why I was doing this. I should just hang up; she isn’t going to want to see me

today. Just as I was about to hang up she answered.

“Hi Eva, how are you today.” She asked.

I gasped, “how did you know it was me, are you psychic also?”

I heard her laugh, “no hun, have you ever heard of caller ID?”

I felt so stupid I just wanted to hang up, but … “Oh yea that.”

“That’s alright honey, I have been waiting for you to call, I am surprised it took you

this long.” She said with a motherly tone. “Why don’t you come out for lunch and we can

talk.”

“Only if you let me bring lunch. What would you like?” I asked.

“Something in a tight pair of pants,” she cackled then started coughing.

“You are so bad,” I said laughing, “and you need to stop smoking.”

“Just pick up some burgers and fries, if you promise not to tell my nurse.” She teased.

“I won’t, I heard she can be a real witch. I’ll see you in about an hour.”

“Great, see you then.” And she hung up.

Well I guess I am going out. I gathered up my case and sat it next to the door. I went

in and grabbed my scrubs and put them on a hanger and hung them on the nail behind the

door. I ran downstairs and took out my bedding, folded it and ran it back to my bedroom.

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I grabbed my gym bag and put it next to my purse. If I was at Gladys’s place too long I

could change into my uniform at the gym. I had to pass the gym to get to my patient’s

place this evening. Just before I left the house I called Mike and left my cell number on

his voice mail. I carried everything to the car then went back up to lock the front door.

Just as I was about to lock it I opened the door and said to the empty living room

“Jesse if you are here, I am going out for a few hours, I have an evening patient. I will

be back after dark, miss you.” And I closed and locked the door.

I stopped and picked up burgers and fries and a couple of sodas. It was easier to find

Gladys’s house this time. I pulled in front of her place and grabbed the fast food bag.

Good, it still felt warm, I hate cold fries. Just as I was about to knock on the door Gladys

flung it open making me jump.

She looked behind me, “Where is my order for something in tight pants?” she smiled.

“Sorry I couldn’t find anyone good enough for you, will burgers and fries do?” I asked

as I held up the bag.

“I guess,” she said faking disappointment.

I walked into her home, it looked much tidier and smelled as if it had a good cleaning.

“Wow the place looks good.” I remarked.

“Yeah those aids you sent in here aren’t happy till they clean something for me.” She

said with a fake frown.

“You look good too, getting ready to go chasing men are you?” I asked teasingly.

“One of those girls you sent used to be a hair dresser; so once a week she washes and

sets my hair, I love it.” She beamed. “Sit down and let’s eat, my arteries are begging for a

clogging meal right now.”

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 We sat and I handed her a burger, fries and a soda. She smiled and I could see she

even had her teeth in today.

“So what’s on your mind Eva, I know this isn’t purely just a social call.” She smiled

as she put a fry into her mouth.

“I’m not quite sure,” I said as I picked at my burger.

“Come on girl, I ain’t getting any younger here, spill it.” She said trying to coax me

into talking.

“It’s complicated.” I whined.

“Don’t you think this old brain could follow?” she said tapping her temple.

“Its not that, it’s just that it’s a long story.” I said as I nibbled on a fry.

“That’s ok. You talk and I’ll eat,” she said as she took a bite of her burger and made a

face like she was tasting the most glorious food ever made. “Oh it has been so long since

I had a burger from this place, thank you so much Eva.”

“Your welcome, but you better enjoy it, I am not bringing anymore. I don’t want your

nurse to get me.” I said as I winked at her.

“Now tell me your story.”

I took a deep breath and let it all fall out in one long complicated tangled monologue.

I told her about leaving Keith, moving into my new house. I told her I had been seeing

things, feeling things, the Ouija board, meeting Jesse and him saving me from Keith. I

told her about Mike and how I felt about him. I told her about the strong feelings I had

for Jesse. I told her about seeing other ghosts and how complicated my life had become.

The final thing was what Jesse had told me, and that I no longer feel him in the house.

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 I took another deep breath and said, “That’s it in a nutshell, see I told you it was long

and complicated.”

I looked at Gladys waiting for her to say something. She just sat sipping her drink

looking directly into my eyes. I felt a little uncomfortable keeping eye contact with her

but I couldn’t make my eyes look another direction. We sat like this for what seemed

like an hour, but I know it was just a few minutes. I finally was able to break the hold she

had on my eyes and looked down at the table. I hadn’t noticed she was touching my

hand. When I looked back up at her she had a smile on her face.

“What, you think I am crazy don’t you?” I said nervously, regretting that I had ever

called her this morning.

“No my darling Eva.” She said with an even bigger smile.

I gasped, that’s what Jesse calls me. In my mind I quickly ran back through what I

had told her. I didn’t remember telling her that was what Jesse calls me. “Why did you

just call me that?” I asked.

“Isn’t that what Jesse calls you dear?” she asked looking slightly puzzled.

“Yes but how did you know, I didn’t tell you that.”

I felt her squeeze my hand and with her other hand she tapped her temple and smiled,

“Remember I told you I can read people or see things just by touching them, well my

dear while you were talking I could hear both what your mouth and head said.”

I just gasped, “This is all so unbelievable, you don’t think I am crazy after that story?”

“Well if you are crazy, then so am I.” she said in a motherly tone again. I could hear

the compassion in her voice. “The reason I called you that was to verify to you that I

know and slightly understand what is going on.”

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 “Then what do I do?” I asked as I physically deflated and put my head on the table.

“First, never, and I repeat NEVER, go anywhere near a Ouija board again.” she said

wagging one of her gnarled fingers in my direction.

“All right I promise” I said as I lifted my head from the table and made a cross pattern

across my heart.

“Good, because that was stupid.” She added

“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

“Second, Jackson should not be able to get to you unless you invite him back in with

that damn Ouija board.” She said as she held up two fingers in front of me.

“I already said no more damn boards.” I said as I scowled.

“Third, Jesse isn’t gone, he is just hiding from you.” I started to interrupt but she

scowled at me and said “I didn’t interrupt you now did I?”

I shook my head without saying a word.

“See, he is trapped there till he is able to square things out with Jackson, and by what I

felt when I touched you that is going to take a long time.” She paused a moment and kind

of glassed over. I started to speak but her brows knitted together letting me know that it

wasn’t a good idea to speak. She blinked and the look was gone. “Jesse is there, just not

in the house. He is spending his time at another spot on the property.”

I gave her a look that asked her for permission to speak, she nodded. “How do I get

him to come back?”

“You can’t force him anymore, he has learned how to control your dreams.” She said.

“I don’t mean he can make you dream what he wants, just that if he doesn’t like a dream

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or situation he can change it. So if he doesn’t want to be in your dreams he doesn’t have

to be.”

“So it is up to him whether he comes back to me or not?” I questioned.

“I am afraid so sweetheart, and he is a stubborn man, so I don’t know how long it will

take him to come back, if ever.” She said shrugging her shoulders.

“Fourth, I was able to feel what you feel for both men.” She said shaking her head.

“You are torn between both of them, you care for them equally, the only problem is the

one you spend the most time with will win your heart, so which one do you think you

want more?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t know?” I said defeated.

“I don’t know how Mike feels, but I know Jesse has fallen completely for you.

He has opened his heart more to you than he ever has to anyone before. He has also

opened himself up to more pain than he has ever done before.”

“I would never hurt him,” I added quickly.

“No honey, I mean emotional pain, when real life calls to you and you leave him he

will go back to his empty world, his eternal loop never to experience life, or his form of

life with you again.”

“How can I help him?” I asked.

“You can’t help him, he needs to resolve his problem with Jackson, that is nothing you

can help him with.” She said shaking her head with a sorrowful look on her face.

“There must be something I can do for him.” I said as tears started to well up in my

eyes.

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 “Eva dear, all you can do is be there if he wants to share his existence with you. If he

wants to share it with you, help him live it to his fullest and please don’t lead him on.”

She said sadly.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Let him know about Mike and where he stands when he comes back,” she said. Then

she thought for a moment touched my hand again and added, “When Mike comes back

go with him, don’t try to stay with Jesse.”

“What?” I asked not following why she wants me to leave Jesse when Mike comes

home.

“I don’t want to get into it child, just promise me that when the time comes you will

go with Mike.”

“What if….”

She stopped me by putting a finger up in front of her. That look reminded me of a

look my mother would use on me to stop my arguing with her when I was a teenager.

“Promise me you won’t stay with Jesse…go with Mike….promise me.”

I don’t know why but I said, “I promise.”

She looked at the clock on the wall and said, “We have been here talking for four

hours, I am late for my nap.”

I knew she was using this to avoid my questions but I said. “Alright, I guess I have taken

up enough of your time.” I stood up and walked to the door.

Gladys came over to me and hugged me, I felt the same tension in her body, she held

on to me with a surprisingly strong grip. “Be careful my child,” she said as she finally let

go. She brought her face within inches of mine, I could smell cigarette smoke with every

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word. “Promise me you will go with Mike,” she whispered into my face with such

intensity.

“I promise,” I whispered back.

She cupped my face in her gnarled nicotine stained hands, “Jackson is not done trying

to get to you, be careful, very careful.” Her eyes glistened as she stared intently into

mine.

“I’ll be careful, I promise Gladys.” I smiled weakly.

At that she let go of my face, backed away slightly and smiled, looking as if none of

this had ever happened. “See you soon I hope child, now get out so I can take my nap.”

“Bye Gladys,” I said as I walked out the door.

The door closed quickly. I started walking to my car, but wanted to thank Gladys one

more time so I turned and walked back. I stopped and peeked in the window and saw

Gladys on her knees in the living room. I started to panic, thinking she had fallen, till I

saw her hands clasped as if praying. I watched for a moment longer and saw her make

the symbol of a cross on her chest then get up. I quickly backed from the window so she

wouldn’t see me spying. I got in my car and drove away.

Praying, she was praying about what? Me? I thought for a moment. Why would she

need to pray for me?

I drove on to the gym. I needed a shower, I smelled like a used ashtray. God Love

her, I thought, she smokes way too much. I went into the gym, rinsed off in the shower

and decided to do a few laps. I got in the pool and started swimming. I spent the next few

hours swimming and lounging by the pool trying to digest all of the information Gladys

had supplied me with today. I tried to figure out how I felt about Jesse and Mike. Gladys

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said I feel the same about both of them, but over the last couple hours I figured out that

my head leaned more toward Mike and my heart was beating for Jesse. The question now

was do I let my head or my heart carve out my future? That was the million dollar

question. Do I follow my head and go with Mike, the more rational and sane of the two

choices. Or do I follow the beat of my heart, ignoring my brain screaming that this just

isn’t logical, and go with Jesse?

I looked at the time and decided I needed to shower and change for my evening

patient. I went into the locker room and showered and washed my hair. I dried off and

used my hair dryer to tame down my hair. I dressed in my scrubs and walked out the

door. It was just starting to get dark. The sky was a deep blue with various shades of

pink and red crossing the soon to be setting sun. The colors looked as if a large brush

guided by an unseen hand had stroked these beautiful colors across the sky. They were

melting into each other in such beautiful combinations. I heard in my head one of my

mother’s favorite sayings, Red skies at night sailors delight, red skies in the morning

sailors take warning. Now I don’t know if it was said exactly like that or what, but over

the years I have come to agree with it. It was going to be a beautiful day tomorrow.

“Maybe I can work in the yard tomorrow.” I said out loud

“Excuse me?” a man who was exiting the gym said to me.

I blushed and said, “Nothing, I’m sorry. I talk to myself a lot.” I said shrugging my

shoulders.

“Oh Ok,” he said looking at me the way someone might look at a mental patient.

I have to stop talking to myself so much. I might get committed if the wrong person

heard me. I chuckled as I got into my car. I pulled out my case and checked the

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directions to my patient’s home. I started the car and off I went in the direction of the

Steuben hotel. I found it easily and pulled into the parking lot. I gathered my case and

walked to the beautiful building.

I entered the high rise and people were milling about. I could tell by looking at the

ornate carvings on the walls in the lobby that in its heyday this place must have been for

the rich and famous of the area. The floors were marble and the carvings were so

intricate up by the ceiling. I crossed the lobby to the elevators. I pressed the up button on

the elevator panel and stood waiting for my car. I looked around at the people in the

lobby. It sure seemed like a very busy place. I looked particularly at an older woman

dressed in outdated clothes from what looked like a century ago. I watched her out of the

corner of my eye, so she wouldn’t think I was being rude. A mailman was walking

through the lobby glancing at the mail in his hand. He wasn’t watching where he was

walking. They were going to run into each other, just as I started to say something I saw

the mailman walk right through the lady in the outdated clothes. I faced the lady, rubbed

my eyes and saw that she was still standing there, but when I looked closer I saw that she

was slightly translucent. The lady turned to face me, her eyes got larger when she

realized I was looking right at her. The elevator doors opened, I stepped in quickly just

as the translucent form started approaching me. The doors closed behind me. I had

gotten away from her. The elevator was empty. I pushed the 9th floor and waited for the

elevator to ascend. The figure slowly came through the closed door. I tried to look busy;

I opened my chart and pretended to review the information. The woman stood in front of

me. I did not look in her direction. My mind was racing, what do I do? Maybe if I

ignore her she will think I don’t see her. The elevator started to move. Slowly up floor

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by floor. Damn, why can’t this thing go any faster? The apparition slowly floated

through the door and was gone. I breathed a big sigh of relief, I was finally alone. The

elevator was on the fifth floor now. I watched the 6th floor light illuminate. As the car

passed the 6th floor the light on the floor indicator went out. I waited for the 7th floor light

to illuminate but it didn’t. The elevator had stopped somewhere between the 6th and 7th

floor. I waited for a moment, thinking the elevator would start up again. Nothing

happened. I felt in my pocket for my cell and then I remembered that I left it on my

kitchen table. “Damn!” I pushed all the floor buttons hoping that would get the elevator

started again. No luck. I saw another apparition enter the elevator through the unopened

door. I nervously stared straight ahead. The apparition departed through the same

unopened door. “That’s it, I am loosing my mind.” I started to get nervous. My heart

rate sped up and my breathing became more rapid. “Great, now I am having an anxiety

attack.” I looked up at the elevator panel, still nothing was lit. Above the panel was a

small door that had a sign on it “FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY”. I opened the small door

and inside was a small red button with a speaker slightly below.

I pushed the button and from the speaker a voice announced “Sheet’s elevator repair,

this is Chelsea. How may I help you?”

“My name is Eva Good and I am stuck in an elevator in the Steuben Hotel.” I

announced loudly to the speaker.

“Is that the building on the corner of Fourth and Sunset?” She asked in a voice

crackling from the old speaker.

“Yes, could you please hurry? I am a little claustrophobic.”

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 “I will call maintenance and they will come and let you out ma’am.” She said in a

reassuring voice.

“Thank you, and please hurry,” I said nervously

The speaker went dead. What now? I waited for what felt like an eternity. I paced

off the size of the small car. I guessed it was 6 feet by 8 feet. What is taking so damn

long? I started humming to myself. What if she couldn’t reach the maintenance man?

My heart started racing again, my breathing became more rapid.

“Calm down girl, breath in and out slowly.” I tried to close my eyes and pretend I was

someplace else. I focused on my breathing, trying to purposefully slow it down. I

decided that if no one showed in five minutes I was going to use the emergency phone

again. I looked at my watch to time five minutes. When you are closed in a small box

suspended by cables, five minutes seem like hours. I watched the seconds tick by slowly,

too slowly. I heard a muffled voice come up through the elevator shaft.

“Hold on ma’am we’re coming to get you.” I heard faintly from somewhere in the

elevator shaft.

Is someone really talking to me or is it my imagination, or even worse, a ghost? How

can I trust what I hear when I can’t trust what I see?

I heard tools or something metal coming in contact with something else metal. “Ms.

Good, its Jacob from Maintenance, can you hear me?”

“Yes,” I said nervously, not sure if I was really hearing him.

“Ms. Good , its Corey, just give us about 10 minutes and we’ll get you out of there.”

Ten minutes, I can last another 10 minutes I think. Right about now I think I would

welcome a ghost just to keep me company. I chuckled to myself, wouldn’t it look like I

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had lost it if I walked out of this car talking to someone no one else could see? I couldn’t

stop chuckling. Now girl that wasn’t that funny. I must be losing it.

“Get a hold of yourself.” I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to make my

mind go a blank. I waited for what seemed like an eternity. Finally the doors opened. I

gasped, the bottom of the car was about chest high to the taller of my rescuers.

“Ms Good, you’re alright now,” the shorter of the two said.

I looked at the small crowd gathered at the door of the elevator. The shorter man in

overalls was nervously looking at me. He was Jacob, at least that’s what his overalls had

embroidered on the chest. I didn’t move.

“Ms Good, please come to the edge of the elevator so we can help you down,” the

taller one, Corey his overalls announced, said.

I stepped gingerly toward the front of the car. Corey extended his hand. I grabbed it

harder than I thought was possible.

“Now please sit on the edge of the elevator and we will help you the rest of the way

out,” Jacob said.

I sat down on the floor with my legs dangling over the edge of the car. Jacob reached

up, I grabbed his hand also.

“Now just slowly scoot out and we will help you down.” One of them said.

I scooted to the edge and then I was standing on the marble floor of the hall. I looked

slightly over my shoulder and saw the gaping black hole of the elevator shaft. That was a

mistake, my knees felt so weak. I thought I was going to faint. An older kind looking

gentleman brought a chair for me to sit on. “Thank you,” I was so grateful to sit. The

room spun slightly. I closed my eyes. Someone asked if I needed an ambulance. “No,

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I’m alright, I just need a moment.” I took a few deep cleansing breaths. My head started

feeling better. I looked up weakly at the crowd of nervous faces gathered around me.

“Thank you, thank you all. I’m alright now,” I said with what I hoped sounded like a

reassuring voice. By the looks on their faces I could tell I had failed miserably. I closed

my eyes again.

“I just need a few moments and then I will be alright.” I opened my eyes a few

moments later, the crowd had thinned slightly. “I’m good now, thanks.” I got up on

slightly wobbly legs. “I have a patient to see, thanks again.” I scanned the close faces

and located Jacob and Corey. “Thank you again,” I said as I reached out and hugged

Corey first then Jacob. “Thank you again,” I said smiling, feeling stronger by the

moment. “Could you direct me to the stairs?” I said smiling to the even smaller crowd,

well I guess it didn’t qualify as a crowd anymore. The small gathering chuckled.

“Over that way Ms.Good.” Corey said as he pointed down the hall.

“Eva, please, and thank you again.” I said as I turned to walk toward the stairs.

As I walked down the hall I heard what I now knew as Jacob’s voice say, “I thought

we had a fainter there.” I heard Corey say “Me to.” as he chuckled. I am not sure if

anything else was said about me, I was soon out of ear shot and going through the

stairwell door. I looked up. Three flights… well I guess I’ll find out if I am in shape or

not.

I jogged up all three flights, just barely breathing heavy at the last one. I still got it I

thought as I went through the fire door. I entered the hallway and located my patient’s

door. I knocked, she answered and I made my visit. Nothing out of the ordinary

happened, no ghosts nor odd acting people. I was done in a half hour. I had her sign the

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papers and said my goodbyes and I was out the door. I know that was quick, but after my

ordeal I just wanted to get home. I wasn’t ready to try the elevator yet so I went back

down the stairs.

I had an uneventful drive home. No ghosts jumped in front of my car.

I entered my home, again nothing but quiet and Tink waiting for her evening meal. I

fed Tink in the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of cereal for a late supper and sat in front of the

TV for a few hours. I tried not to think of anything. Not being trapped in the elevator,

not about Jesse ignoring me, not about Mike being so far away. I forced myself to get

lost in the crime show I was not really watching. I honestly don’t know how long I sat on

the couch. By the time I looked at the clock again it was after 1am. I decided to go to

bed. I went to my room, got changed and crawled into bed. I laid there for a few minutes

thinking about my last few days. How could my life have gone from normal and

mundane just a few weeks ago to the crazy thing it has turned into lately?

I thought about my day. “No more elevator rides in that damn building. No more

elevator rides if the patient is below the fifth floor. I chuckled to myself, well if Mike

was with me, he would save me. Well if Mike were with me would I want to be saved, a

girl could have some fun if stuck in an elevator with the right man. I allowed myself to

momentarily think about what I would do with Mike if stuck in that situation. I forced

myself to stop my train of thought, rolled over and thought to myself, Night Mike. A

guilty feeling started to pull at my heart. I rolled again and faced the room “Night Jesse

where ever you are….I miss you.” I rolled back over and soon was asleep.

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 Chapter twelve

I was in a small sepia colored room with a door on each wall. Where am I? This

room doesn’t look familiar. I walked to one of the doors and turned the knob. It was

locked. Why would a door be locked in a dream? I walked to the door on the next wall.

It was also locked. “What the hell is going on here?” I asked out loud to the room. I

walked to the next door. It too was locked. Maybe my dream is trying to send me in a

certain direction. I know I will walk to the last door and it will open into some dream

world. I walked to the last door, tried the door and it would not open. I turned the knob

harder and shook the door. It did not give. Maybe I tried the same door twice, one of

them has to open. I ran around the room to each door trying it again. None of them

would open. I started to panic. My heart raced and my breathing quickened. I leaned

against one of the locked doors and stared at the opposite wall. With each breath it

seemed like the walls were getting closer. That must be a trick of my mind. I closed my

eyes and shook my head to clear it. When I opened my eyes again the opposite wall

seemed at least a foot closer. I walked to the center of the room. With each breath I took

the walls got closer. It seemed like my breathing was pulling or sucking the walls closer.

I’ll hold my breath. I took in a deep breath and the walls seemed to jump a foot closer

with the deep breath. After a moment the walls seemed to stop. I continued to hold my

breath. Do you have to breathe in a dream? My lungs started to ache slightly. If I hold

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my breath long enough in my dream and it kills me do I die in the real world? My lungs

started burning. I was always told that if you see yourself die in a dream you will really

die. Is that true? My lungs felt as if they were going to burst. I felt a little dizzy. Why

won’t I wake up? My lungs finally started gasping for air. I looked at the walls, they

were crashing in toward me. I screamed, closed my eyes and crumpled onto the floor

crying. I was waiting for the walls to crush me.

“Please don’t cry.” A voice that sung to my heart said.

I was afraid to open my eyes that I would be in my room awake and he would be gone.

“Please Eva, don’t cry, I am here with you.” The wonderful voice said so close to my

ear.

I know this is the evil part of my dream. My subconscious is teasing me, I will open my

eyes and he won’t be there, or some hideous monster will be ready to devour me.

“Please open your eyes Eva.” The glorious voice said. “I am here, and I won’t leave

you again till you are ready for me to.”

“Jesse is that you?” I asked with my eyes still closed.

“Yes, my darling Eva it is me. Please open your eyes.” The voice said as I felt arms

wrap around my shoulders.

“I am afraid to open them that you won’t really be here with me.” I said with tears still

wet on my face.

I felt a hand gently touch me under the chin. “Please look at me Eva.” The voice said as

my head was tilted up. I felt soft lips kiss each of my eyelids. “Please Eva look at me.”

I slowly opened my eyes. Jesse was on his knees in front of me. “Is it really you?”

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His kind eyes began to twinkle as a smile spread across his face. “Yes my darling it is

me.”

I squealed and threw my arms around him, knocking us both over onto the floor. I

hugged him tightly and found his lips with mine. I kissed him deeply.

“I missed you so much” I said between kisses.

“I missed you too my darling.” He said with a chuckle. “I was only gone two of your

days.” He said when I stopped kissing him enough so he could speak.

“What did I do to make you leave?” I asked as we both sat upright.

“You didn’t do anything my darling,” he said pushing my hair back away from my

face. “I thought you would be better off if I wasn’t around to complicate your life.” He

said as a sorrowful look crossed his face. “My darling, in the short time that I have

interrupted your life I have fallen hopelessly in love with you.” He stood up and helped

me to my feet. “I figured if I left, you would be happier, less confused about your

relationship with that Mike fellow.”

I finally looked at our surroundings, no more windowless room with locked doors. We

were standing in the middle of his living room.

“If you felt that way, why did you come back?” I asked.

“Eva I just can’t stay away from you. I know you will leave me soon, but I just

couldn’t stand another hour without you.”

“What do you mean you know I will leave you soon? Do you know something I

don’t?” I asked.

“No my darling, but I know the call of a real, or live, suitor will finally pull you from

our dream world.” He said as he looked over my shoulder and focused on something that

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looked as if it were far away. “When that day finally comes I will not ask you to stay, I

want you to have a full long life.” He said grasping my shoulders, “I want you to have

everything I never had a chance to.” He pulled me close and wrapped his bear like arms

around me. “I will give you every minute of my time that you want. I will share

everything I have with you, just please share your dreams with me.”

“I promise you Jesse, I will share my dreams with you.” I said into Jesse’s chest.

He pulled back from me, “I know when life, or Mike, or whoever calls, I won’t regret

giving you my heart.” He said kissing my forehead. “The question is if you can share

your heart with me, a man who isn’t real, a man who is just a wisp of smoke or a figment

of your imagination?”

I thought for a moment and remembered Gladys saying not to lead Jesse on. “When

we are here you are the only man that exists for me,” I said as I kissed him gently on the

lips. “When I am out there, or awake, I don’t know what will happen but let’s just take it

one day at a time.”

“I believe I can handle that,” he said, “Just as long as you share your dreams with me.

When you dream of me Eva, I live more in death than I ever did in life.”

His words pulled at my heart. I could feel my heart winning the battle between Mike

and Jesse. I smiled and just pulled him closer to me holding on tightly. I felt as if I were

hanging on to a life preserver in the middle of dark unknown waters. I was afraid if I let

go I would loose Jesse, but if I held on I might loose myself. Were these feelings I had

for Jesse worth losing myself?

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 Damn it Eva, stop thinking too much. Just enjoy the fact that Jesse was here and he

loves me. It felt so strong and unconditional. I let the feeling envelope me and I was

willing to get lost for awhile. I closed my eyes and sighed and snuggled closer to Jesse.

“Where were you just now?” he asked chuckling, “you looked as if you were a million

miles away.”

“Nowhere and everywhere at the same time,” I said after a moment, “You make me

feel that way, I can’t describe it, but all I know is I want more of it.” I said smiling

looking up into his glorious eyes.

We spent what seemed like hours, talking about everything and nothing at the same

time. We walked his property holding hands under a dream sun. We laughed, joked and

reveled in each others company till Jesse said “It’s time for you to wake up Eva.”

“No I want to stay here with you, I’m not ready to leave yet.” I said sticking out my

bottom lip in a pout.

Jesse bent down and kissed my pout away and said, “Eva you have to go, I will not be

responsible for you sleeping your life away.” He said sternly but with a smile.

“Yes Sir,” I said saluting him, “But I still want to stay.”

“I will see you tonight, I have a surprise for you, so you have to wake up so I can give

it to you when you return to sleep.” He said smiling.

“That’s fighting dirty….Ok I am ready, but if you aren’t here tonight I will find

another ghost boyfriend,” I said as I shook a warning finger at him.

“He laughed at me and said, “till tonight my darling Eva, the love of my life.” He bent

to kiss me, I closed my eyes and felt his warm lips on mine. He pulled back and I opened

my eyes. I was in my room, and it was morning.

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 I got up with renewed life, I felt wonderful. I know it all had to do with Jesse being

back. My house even seemed happier, content. I felt as if everything was right in my

little world again. I whistled as I went and showered, got dressed and headed to the

kitchen. I made my coffee and fried a couple of eggs. I was hungry this morning. I

made toast, poured my coffee and put my eggs on a plate. I turned the stereo on to an

upbeat station and sat back down to enjoy my breakfast. I ate every last scrap and

washed and dried my dishes. I decided to work in the yard. I got out the mower and with

one pull it started. I spent the next couple hours mowing and trimming my yard. When

that chore was done I still had so much energy that I couldn’t sit on the porch and enjoy

my hard work.

Flowers, I will go buy flowers today and plant them in the yard. I hopped up and went

in the house to get my purse. I grabbed my keys off of the nail behind the door,

remembering Jesse putting them there and scaring the hell out of me. I was so silly

being scare of that gentle soul. “Jesse I am going out for awhile, I’ll be back soon, and

get my surprise ready for tonight.” I blew the room a kiss and skipped out the door

locking it on my way through.

At the home improvement store I picked up mulch and a couple of every blue, purple

and white flower they had. I paid and had help getting it all to my outback. I thanked the

young salesman and tried to tip him with a ten dollar bill.

“Ma’am I am not allowed to take tips.” He said as he shook his head at my extended

hand with the ten.

I thought for a moment and when the idea came to me I smiled, “Hey I like that pencil

you have in your shirt pocket, I need one, can I buy it from you?”

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 He smiled when he caught on, “You can just have it ma’am.” he said.

“No I want to buy it.” Before he could say anything more I snatched his pencil out of his

shirt pocket and stuffed the ten in its place. I giggled and jumped into my car. The poor

boy was still standing there looking shocked as I pulled out of the parking lot. I laughed

out loud as I drove toward home.

I couldn’t get over how alive I felt. My relationship with Keith never made me this

happy. Is this what the big “L” word is really supposed to feel like? Could I already be

in the big “L” word with Jesse? Could I really feel that way about a ghost? I tried to

figure it out but it was bringing down my mood so I just chose to ignore the question.

I pulled in the drive and unloaded all of my plants, set them in a shady area and gave

them a good watering. I decided it was lunch time. I ran in the house and announced

“Honey I’m home,” as I walked into the kitchen. I pulled a can of ravioli off the shelf,

opened it and put it in a bowl and micro waved it. I ate my lunch then decided to start my

planting. I spent hours in the yard, digging, planting and mulching. I worked till

sundown, but I finished them all. When I finally stood up I was sore. I looked at my

watch. It was after 7:30, I can’t believe I worked that long. I looked over all of my hard

work and was pleased how the flowers lit up the front of the house. “Beautiful” I said out

loud.

Then I felt a slight breeze blow the hair near my left ear. Goose bumps raised on my

arms, and I heard, “Not nearly as beautiful as you my darling Eva.” Jesse whispered in

my ear, “till tonight,” then he chuckled and I knew he was gone.

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 Feeling his words caress my ear gave me a warm flush all over and made my heart

beat double time. “That’s not fair Jesse, you can’t get me excited then just leave me

alone.” I called to the air surrounding me.

I cleaned up the rest of my mess then went into the house. I went straight to my room,

picked out my night clothes, then headed for the shower. My poor body was so mad at

me for all of the bending and hard work I did today and it protested with every move I

made. I climbed into the shower and let the hot water loosen my tight sore muscles. I

stayed in the shower till my fingers started to look like prunes. I stepped out and dried

myself off. I wrapped my hair up in a towel and decided to find a light dinner. I

searched through the refrigerator and came out with cheese, crackers, a sliced cucumber

and some cottage cheese. “Ahh, the diet of a bachelorette,” I said as I settled at the table

to enjoy my dinner. I ate heartily and enjoyed every last crumb on my plate. I washed

my dishes and put them on the drain board. I grabbed a large glass of wine and headed

for my bedroom. I crawled into bed and sipped my wine while I read more of my book.

When my wine was finished and I had read four long chapters in my book I decided to try

and sleep. I was so excited about Jesse saying he had a surprise for me that I thought for

sure I would not be able to fall asleep. I closed my eyes and dreamed.

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 Chapter thirteen

I was sitting in front of Jesse’s house. It was twilight and snow was gently falling.

The sepia colored scenery was beautiful covered in a thick layer of snow. I looked down

at the reins in my hand. Boy I hope Jesse knows how to do this, cuz I don’t. The sleigh

was open with two lit lanterns hanging off to either side of the seat. I was covered in

thick quilts and dressed for winter. The horse was the same majestic beast that he rode

up on after he saved me from Keith. The horse whinnied and stomped his hooves in the

snow.

“Jesse, can you come out here please.” I called toward the house. I waited a moment

then Jesse finally showed up at the door.

“Oh my word, it’s snowing!” Jesse stepped out into the front yard and looked up into

the dark sky marveling at the snow falling. “How did you….? Why did you do this?” he

asked with a smile so large it looked like it stretched from ear to ear.

“You said you missed snow…. So I thought I would give you one of the things you

missed.” I said returning his smile.

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 He came running at me and jumped up in the sleigh and kissed me fully on the lips, the

colors slowly painted themselves on the scene. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever

done for me.”

“Now I know it has been a long time, but you aren’t really dressed for the snow, go

get something warm on and I’ll wait right here as long as the horse does.” I added

nervously.

Jesse laughed a big hearty laugh and grabbed the reigns from my hand. He tied them to

the lantern pole, “He’ll stay put now.” And he ran into the house to change. When he

returned he was in a few layers and an overcoat. He climbed into the sleigh and snuggled

under the blankets with me. He took the reigns in his well trained hands and off we went

across the fields. I watched him look at the scenery, the trees were bare but the fir trees

were heavy with the white billowy snow. The sky was dark but soft blue and dotted with

gently falling snowflakes. He stuck his tongue out and caught a snowflake.

“Eva I haven’t done this in so long, thank you so much, so very very much.” He

pulled on the reigns and the horse stopped. “Now that you have given me something it’s

my turn. He reached in his pocked and produced a small simply wrapped box with a red

ribbon tied around it.

“What’s this?” I asked

“Happy Birthday my darling Eva.” He said as he handed me the gift.

I counted back the days and was surprised to see that it was my birthday. “How did

you know?” I asked accepting the small box from him.

“Well remember the other day when you went through all of my belongings?” he

questioned with a smile.

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 “Oh, you knew about that huh?” I said looking down at my hands guiltily.

“Yeah I figured it out when I found a few things moved, so I decided to return the

favor.” He said smiling even bigger “And when I did I found your birth certificate, so…

happy birthday.”

“Thank you, I had actually forgotten that it was my birthday.” I untied the bow. The

paper fell open and revealed a small white cardboard box. I opened the box and inside

was a small silver heart with intricate scroll work etched on its face. “It’s beautiful,” I

whispered as I took the necklace from its resting place. It spun slightly at the end of its

delicate silver chain.

“Open it,” Jesse said with a look on his face that reminded me of Christmas movies

when the kids come rushing down the stairs to see if Santa really came.

I opened the delicate locket and there inside was a small picture of Jesse. “This is such

an amazing present, thank you so much.”

“Here let me,” Jesse said taking the locket from my hands. I turned around and lifted

my hair. “There, let’s see how it looks.” I turned back around and saw Jesse smiling. “I

thought the locket was beautiful but it pales in comparison to your beauty.”

“How did you get this?” I asked.

“Well actually my Father bought it for my Mother for their anniversary. Sadly Father

never got to give it to Mother.” He said touching the locket softly. “Mother refused to

wear it since Father never actually placed it on her neck, so she gave it to me, and now I

give it to you.”

“Jesse I can’t take this if it was your Mother’s,”

“Please Eva, take it, you having it means so much to me, please.” He begged.

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 “If you really want me to have it, yes I accept your gift.” I said smiling thinking that

since this is really a dream I won’t actually have it. I will only have it in our dream

world, so I am really not taking anything from him that belonged to his mother.

“You ready to head back, I am getting a little cold?” Jesse said changing the subject.

“Yes, I am ready to go back to the house.” I added with my teeth chattering. It still

surprises me that in a dream I can get cold enough for my teeth to chatter.

Jesse turned the horse around and we headed back across the fields to the house. I

was surprised how far we had gone. It seemed like it took forever to get back to the

house. In the distance I could see the soft glow of the lights from his house, boy I was

glad to be getting someplace warm.

Jesse stopped the horse, “I just have to do something, do you mind my Darling?” he

asked.

“No,” I said a little hesitantly because I didn’t know what he was going to do.

Jesse stood up and jumped off the sleigh and started making a snow angel. “I haven’t

done this since I was a kid,” he said a little breathlessly. “Come on Eva, its fun.” He

called up to me laughing.

“This is crazy, I am already cold.” I argued.

“For me?” he said making puppy dog eyes at me.

I quickly stood up and jumped off of the sleigh into the snow before I could change

my mind. I made a snow angel, and he was right, it was fun. We laid there making our

angels and laughing like a couple of kids playing in the snow. It was so freeing.

“Now we have to get up without messing up the angels,” he said sounding like an

excited little kid. Of course he got up with no problem, his angel stayed intact. I, on the

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other hand, stumbled getting up and ripped my angel’s wing off. Jesse caught me and

was able to steady me before I did any damage to his.

I fell into his arms and he tipped my face to his, “I love you, and thank you for the

most amazing gift anyone has ever given me.” He gently brushed his lips against mine.

We stood like that for quite awhile, kissing in the middle of a field, the snow falling

quietly around us. Just the two of us lost in our own perfect little world, I loved it.

“You’re trembling,” Jesse said after a few more moments. “I would like to think it is

just because I am such a great kisser, but unfortunately I know it is because of the cold.”

I let Jesse help me into the sleigh and cover me with all of the quilts. He quickly got

us back to the house. He dropped me off at the door and told me to go inside while he

unhitched the horse and sleigh. I waited in the house for a few minutes and he came in

the kitchen door stomping off the snow.

“Have you warmed up yet?” he asked as he crossed the kitchen to wrap his arms

around me.

“A little,” I said still trembling slightly.

“Sit and I will make some tea,” he said guiding me to the sofa. I watched him prepare

the tea.

“Too bad you don’t have any cookies to go with that.” I called to him as he was

pouring the tea into the cups.

He looked at me slightly puzzled, then turned and grabbed a tin that I had not noticed

on the table a moment before. “Your wish is my command my Darling.” He said as he

presented a cup of tea with some fresh chocolate chip cookies.

“Where did these come from?” I asked confused.

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 “Remember, I told you I could change your dreams a little more each time you let me

in.” He said with a triumphant look on his face.

“So you did that?” I said motioning toward the cookies.

“Yeah, I didn’t have any here, and then you asked, so I guess you can say I made them

appear.” He said shrugging his shoulders.

“How?”

“I don’t know, and I really don’t know if there is an answer.” He said shaking his

head. “All I know is if I want something in your dreams I just think about it and there it

is.” He said making a magician gesture. “I have no possible way of explaining it so I

don’t question it. I just accept the fact that with you anything is possible.”

I just stared at him trying to wrap my mind around what he had just said. I closed my

eyes for a moment and when I opened them I realized that the colors were starting to run

just around the periphery of my vision. “I’m waking up,” I said to Jesse. “I’m not ready

to go yet,” with my voice full of regret.

“I would love for you to stay here with me, but you have a life outside of our dream

world.” He pointed out.

“I know, but I’m still not ready.” I said stomping my foot like a spoiled little girl.

Jesse chuckled and said, “Could you do me a favor when you wake up?”

“Sure,” I answered quickly because I was not sure how much time I had before I

awoke.

“Go into the attic and lift the floorboard under the window.” He said in a rushed voice.

“Why?”

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 “Don’t ask why, just look under the floorboard.” He said quickly. The only color left

in my dream was on his face. He gave me a glorious smile and mouthed the words as his

face faded away, “Please look alright, I love you my Darling Eva.”

I opened my eyes and quickly replayed the end of the dream in my head so I could get

his directions right. I got out of bed and didn’t even bother to stop at the bathroom. I ran

up the steps to the attic. Thankfully I didn’t have a lot of stuff in my attic, so it was easy

to get to the floorboard under the window. I knelt under the window. How am I going to

get the floorboard up? I need some tool, maybe a screwdriver. I started to get up by

placing my hand on the window seal and bumped something. I quickly pulled my hand

back and saw an old screwdriver. How did this get here? It wasn’t here before. I

grabbed the old screwdriver and turned it over in my hand. I shrugged to myself and

decided this tool was as good as any. I placed the tip of the tool into the floorboard. It

automatically slipped into what looked like old worn tool markings between the boards.

It was actually a perfect fit to the tool marks. This must be what Jesse had used before.

I took a deep breath and applied a little pressure to the tool and the board popped

loose. I slowly peered into the recesses of the floor. At first I didn’t see anything, and

then in the furthest part of the cavity under the floor was a small object. I reached in,

brushing my hand through spider webs and years of undisturbed dust, and wrapped my

fingers around a small square object. I pulled the object out. It was a small box. My

heart started pounding, I opened the little box. I gasped, there was the locket Jesse had

given me in my dream. I was actually holding it, I could feel it in my hand. I took it out

of the box and opened the locket. Jesse’s picture was looking back at me. In the box

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under where the locket had been was a small piece of paper. I opened the paper and on it

was written.

For my Darling Eva

Wear this and remember

I will always

Be just a dream away

Remember, Dream Of Me

Loving you for eternity

Jesse

I clasped the locket in my hand and placed it over my heart and started to cry.

Through my tears I said “Jesse, thank you so very much, till tonight.” I blew a kiss into

the air and replaced the floor board. I put the screwdriver back on the window sill and

went downstairs.

I went to the bathroom mirror and watched as I put the necklace on. It was so

beautiful. I marveled at the beautiful little silver heart that had been in my dream last

night. It was in my dream and here it is now. How was that possible? I was set to only

enjoy my gift in my dream world. I never would have guessed it would be able to come

into this world.

The call of nature finally was too strong. I did my morning thing, washed up, and

then went into the kitchen for coffee. On every reflective surface I kept checking to see if

my locket was still nestled on my neck. I kept waiting for it to disappear like Jesse does

every morning.

I was looking at the locket in the reflection of the toaster when the phone rang.

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 “Hello?” I said not taking my eyes off of the reflection of the locket, expecting it to

disappear with the ring of the phone.

“Hi Eva, how is my favorite nurse this fine morning?” Mike said in an extremely

happy sounding voice.

“Mike…Hi… why are you calling this morning?” I asked before I thought how it

might sound to him.

“Oh… I’m sorry it is a bad time?” It was too late, he already sounded deflated.

“No Mike it’s not a bad time, I am just very surprised!” I said trying to put an excited

tone into my voice. “Anytime you call is the right time for me.” I added as I walked out

the door to the porch. I was hoping Jesse couldn’t tell I was talking to Mike.

“So what’s on the agenda for you today?” he asked sounding satisfied with my

previous answer. “Doing anything special?” he asked.

“I think I might go buy me a new outfit or something.” I said.

“What’s the occasion, or is being a women reason enough to spend money?” he said

chuckling.

“Hey now, those are fightin’ words.” I said pretending to be upset by his remark. “For

your information smart ass, it was my birthday yesterday.”

“It was?” he asked sounding surprised.

“Yes it was.” I answered, “Even super nurses like me age.” I added chuckling.

“So what did you do for your special day?” he asked sounding genuinely interested.

“Nothing.” I said.

“Nothing?” he asked. “Well did you at least get a gift?”

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 “Jesss…..” I almost told him that Jesse gave me a gift, but I caught myself before I let

it out.

“Jesss… What?” he asked when I didn’t say anything else.

Quickly I thought up, “Jess little ol’ me here, no party, no gifts.” Hopefully he bought

that.

“I am so sorry Eva, if I had been home, and if you had told me it was your birthday, I

would have done something special for you.” He said sounding so upset and guilty.

Damn, my made up answer worked too well, now he feels guilty. “Well I was hoping

when you come home we could have a special birthday party for me. I said trying to

sound upbeat.

“Really?” he asked in an ornery voice. “How special is it going to be?”

“You’re so bad, we’ll see when you finally come home.” I said teasing him. How can

I go from an amazing evening with Jesse to easily flirting with Mike? I hate this, I am so

confused. I must be a horrible person. I tried to push that thought from my mind.

“I hate to do this but I have to go, the owners of the house just pulled up and I have to

show them the progress I have made,” he said sounding a little upset.

“Well I guess if you have to go,” I said with a pouty voice.

“Happy belated birthday Eva.”

“Thanks, have a great day Mike,” I said

“Remember, dream of me.” He blew me a kiss over the phone then hung up.

I sat on the steps of the porch, not knowing what to do next. I absentmindedly played

with the locket around my neck, wrestling with my dilemma in my head. On one hand I

have an amazing man who professes his love to me, but he is a ghost. On the other hand

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I have an amazing real man who seems to be taken by me. Why is this so hard for me? I

left Keith, the man I had been with for five years. I left a long relationship to venture out

on my own. I didn’t know what was coming or how I would survive but I did. If I could

do that why can’t I just do what is right now? Why can’t I leave Jesse behind and wait

for Mike. Why is my heart winning out over my head? I know my relationship with Jesse

can’t go any further than our dreams, but he seems to be, at least at this moment, the one I

want.

“Eva you are crazy,” I said out loud. I shouldn’t let my heart rule my life. My head is

the one that gave me the strength to leave Keith, because my heart wanted to stay. “My

argument exactly,” I voiced. My head is the one that made me leave Keith which put me

into an even more confusing mess.

I jumped when the phone I was holding rang. I answered it without looking to see who

was on the ID.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Happy birthday Eva!” I could tell by the voice that it was Geri.

“Thanks Geri, how did you know?” I asked.

“A little bird named Mike just called me and told me it was your birthday!” she

chirped happily then started into a chorus of “Happy Birthday.”

“I am gonna have to slap him when I see him.” I chuckled.

“Hey, I have a great idea.” she said emphasizing the word great.

“Yeah, and what’s that?” I asked suspiciously.

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 “I have two tickets to a show in Cincinnati tonight. Will you go with me sort of as a

late birthday present?” She took a breath then continued. “And before you say no, this is

a present, so technically you can’t say no.”

“That’s at least a 5 hour drive from here.” I argued.

“Well we will leave about 2pm to get there by 7pm, alright?”

“Let me think about it and I will call you back in a little while, alright?” I asked.

“You have a half hour to call me back and say you will go, or I will come over there

and kidnap you,” she said sternly as she tried to hold back a chuckle.

“Alright, I will call you back in a half hour with the answer, bye.”

“Remember that wasn’t just a threat it was a promise, bye.” And she hung up.

I walked back into the house and tried to figure out what to do. I haven’t had a girl’s

night out in a while, but I didn’t want to lose a moment of time with Jesse. That’s it, I’ll

ask Jesse and he will tell me that he would rather I stay home.

“Jesse….Jesse….Jesse I need to ask you a question.” I said as I walked through the

house, not quite sure how or where to find him. “Jesse….are you here?”

“Yes my dearest, I am here and how may I be of service?” he whispered into my ear.

The movement of my hair tickled my neck again raising goose bumps on my skin.

Feeling him so close made my heart race and it was such an amazing feeling. “My

friend invited me to a show tonight and I don’t want to go,” I said to the bodiless voice.

“And why may I ask do you not want to go?” he again whispered in my ear.

“She wants to take me away for my birthday to a show in Cincinnati and that is 5

hours away.” I explained.

“And what is the problem?” He whispered in to my other ear.

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 “The problem is that I won’t be back by bedtime.”

“And that is a problem why?” he questioned.

“Because I don’t want to lose any time with you.” I said a little hurt that he didn’t see

a problem with it.

“Go Eva. Please go and have fun.” He whispered. “I will be here waiting for you to

return my heart, for it will stay with you wherever you roam.

“That’s just it,” I argued. “I don’t want to take your heart anywhere. I want to stay

right here with you.” I said getting a little upset.

“I won’t hear of you missing out on life just to be with me.” He said with his voice

getting a little stern.

“Missing a show isn’t missing out on life,” I argued

“You go or I will refuse to show in your dreams.” He said, threatening me with the

one thing I couldn’t stand.

“Please not that,” I said as I felt myself starting to crumble inside, “Please don’t leave

me again, I don’t think I could stand it.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t leave, but just please go and we will meet in your dreams when

you do finally come back home.”

“Jesse, I don’t want to go.” I repeated.

“Please go Eva, your friend wants to do something nice for you, please allow her to

because it will make me happy.”

“If it will make you happy, and you promise to be here when I come home, I guess I

will go.” I said sounding like a defeated little child.

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 “That’s my girl, go enjoy yourself and I will be here on your return; till then my

dearest,” and I felt a faint brush of his lips on mine, and he was gone.

I guess I was going but I wasn’t very happy about it. I picked up the phone and called

Geri.

“Tell me you are going,” she said without even saying hello.

“Alright, you twisted my arm.” I said reluctantly

She squealed in excitement. “I am so happy you’re going, I was afraid you were gonna

call me and say no.”

“I’m going and we are going to have a great time.” I said trying to sound enthusiastic,

trying to convince myself that I wanted to go.

“I have it all planned out…. We leave at 1pm and we drive to Cincinnati, I reserved a

hotel room so we can get dressed in the room and not try and travel 5 hours in our dress

clothes.

“That sounds like a good idea, let me pay for the room since you got the tickets.” I

said.

“No, it’s an all inclusive thing,” she said sounding a little nervous.

“By the way… what are we going to see?” I asked

“I am not sure, it’s a package, a dinner reservation and two tickets to a show.”

“How did you get this package,” I questioned.

“Some contest, I am always entering contests.” she said, “I will pick you up at 1pm

sharp so be ready. We have a long ride ahead of us.”

“I will pack my dress clothes then I will jump in the shower,” I said looking at my

watch realizing I only had two and a half hours. “I will be ready when you get here.”

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 “This is gonna be so much fun, I can’t wait till you see your present,” she said

excitedly.

“See ya in a couple hours, bye,” I said as I ran through my head everything I would

have to pack.

“Bye.” She said then hung up.

I went to my room and pulled out my little black dress, shoes and a bag and packed

them all in my garment bag. I had to admit to myself that I was a little excited to be

going to the “big city” for a girl’s excursion. I picked out the clothes I was going to

travel in and decided it was time for a shower. I picked up my robe and headed to the

bathroom.

I undressed and got in the shower. I stood under the hot water and started to

daydream about Jesse. As the shower stall started to fill with steam, I started to think

how wonderful it would be if Jesse could join me. I used to enjoy sharing the shower

with Keith, but how could I share it with Jesse. Could I see him, could I feel his hands? I

whispered to myself, “Jesse I wish you could be here with me right now.”

“Do you mean it?” I heard Jesse’s voice from outside the shower door.

I thought for a moment then hesitantly said “Yes.”

I saw the shower door open then close as if by itself. I felt his presence in front of me.

I was nervous, he was seeing me, but I couldn’t see him.

“Jesse, Is that you?” I asked

“Now who else would it be, your other ghost boyfriend?” he answered as his soft

chuckles seemed to fill the shower.

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 When I focused on the steam I could see his faint outline. My heart started pounding

and I got a little dizzy. I reached out both arms and steadied myself by holding on to the

sides of the shower.

I heard him whisper in my ear, “Close your eyes and just breath.”

I followed his instruction not knowing what was going to happen. I lowered my arms

back to my sides. I was trembling slightly in anticipation of what was going to happen

next. I felt what I guess to be his hands gently caress my hair. I gasped at the knowledge

that he was touching me. I felt his hands leave my hair then cup my face. I felt his lips

brush my lips. His hands continued down both sides of my neck to both shoulders. His

hands lingered on both shoulders then slowly started working down to my breasts. As his

hands slowly cupped each breast I realized I had been holding my breath and was getting

dizzy again. I let out the air I had been holding.

“I told you to breath,” he chuckled.

All I could manage to say was “Um hum.”

The sensation of him touching me was not only driving me crazy with hunger but it

was as if someone who had an electric charge was hovering his hands an immeasurable

fraction above my skin. It tingled as he brushed across the hairs on my skin. Every nerve

ending in my being was aware that Jesse was touching me in ways I had secretly longed

for. My breathing was coming quicker and heavier as he continued to cup one breast and

slowly move his hand down my stomach. I thought I heard him moan. His hand slowly

caressed my stomach and then he took one finger and circled my belly button. His hand

that had been cupping my breast left its place and slid down my side to gently caress my

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buttock. I let out a moan as his hand that had been on my stomach slightly grazed my

little patch of hair.

The door bell shattered the moment, I jumped and Jesse whispered “Till we meet in

your dreams my love.” And he was gone.

Did that really happen or was it all my imagination? I was so sexually excited he had

to be here in the shower with me. My imagination isn’t that damn good. Again the

doorbell chimed. With an exasperated sound I turned off the shower and put on my robe.

I stomped to the front door and saw Geri smiling from ear to ear peeking between the

blinds on the front door.

I opened the door and said “Boy you’re early, I was still in the shower.”

“I’m not that early it is 1pm.” She announced looking at her watch.

I looked at the clock on the wall and realized I had been in the shower for over 40

minutes. It seemed like it had only been 15 minutes tops. Where had my time gone? I

just stared at Geri trying to get a grasp on what had just happened.

“Eva, are you in there?” Geri said as she waved her hands in front of my face.

“What,” I asked as I was forced back into reality by her question.

“I asked you how much longer it would take you to get ready, but you were looking at

me with a blank stare, are you alright?” she asked worriedly.

“Yeah I’m fine, just give me about 20 minutes and I will be ready to go.” I said

ignoring the worry in her voice. “If you want to put my bag in the car it’s laying on the

bed.” I said heading to my room to get dressed.

Geri followed and picked up my bag, “Is this what you want?” she asked.

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 “Yeah put it in your car, I’ll get dressed, grab my makeup bag, and curling iron and

we will be on our way.”

I threw myself together quickly and just as I was running out the door I remembered

my locket. I ran back to my bed room where I had placed it before my shower and

picked it up and proudly placed it around my neck. “Thank you again Jesse, I love my

gift, I will bring your heart back to you as soon as I can,” I blew a kiss to the air and ran

out the door, locking it on my way through.

Off we went, traveling 5 hours to the big city of Cincinnati. We talked for the first

few hours mostly about little things. After a few hours the question about Keith and my

parents came up. I re-lived the whole unhappy story with Geri because she was so easy

to talk to. If she wasn’t the cousin of one of the corners of my love triangle I might have

shared my dilemma with her.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that in the last few years.” She said

sounding genuinely sorry.

“I have had a lot of time to think about it, and I’m not sorry because every painful

minute in my life has helped shape the person I am today, and I kinda like her.” I said

with a smile and a long yawn.

“That’s awful deep, but I guess it’s right, and I kinda like you too.” She said with a

smile. “Now why don’t you take a nap, we have about an hour and a half drive yet.”

“I don’t want to be rude.” I said.

“Damn it take a nap, we have a busy evening ahead of us.” She said with a big smile.

“You sure you don’t mind?” I asked.

“Close your eyes, I’ll wake you up when we get to the hotel.” She said with a smile.

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 I closed my eyes for a short rest and was soon dreaming about Jesse. Unfortunately

the dream stayed in sepia, no color explosions when we touched. I was dreaming of

being back in the shower with Jesse, but we didn’t stop at the shower we continued into

my bedroom. The dream was enjoyable but it didn’t have any heart or soul to it. The

dream remained, I guess you could call it, flat or mechanical. In my dream I realized that

I was dreaming and that this “flat” dream left a lot to be desired. I guess my

disappointment woke me up. I kept my eyes closed and thought about my dream. I had

forgotten what it was like to dream without Jesse. I know I will never be able to enjoy a

dream without him again. I stretched and opened my eyes.

“Hey I was getting ready to wake you, we will be there in about ten minutes.” Geri

said with a grin.

“Great, I am stiff from riding so long, I was going to ask for a pit stop but I can wait

till the hotel.” I said yawning.

A few minutes later we pulled into the hotel parking lot. It was a beautiful building

with ten floors. The façade was white stucco with tan and peach accents. It actually

looked like it would be more at home near a beach than in downtown Cincinnati.

“You wait here and I will get our room key,” Geri said excitedly. She nearly jumped

out of the car and went bouncing into the hotel lobby. I sat and thought about Jesse.

Lately it seemed like every unoccupied moment was spent thinking about Jesse. The

more he visits me in my dreams the more I want to spend time with him. Just the thought

that I will have to wait extra time due to this excursion tonight to see him makes my heart

so sad. I almost feel that I need him, my heart yearns for him. I guess in a more subdued

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way I am addicted to him and his presence. I looked up through the windshield just in

time to see Geri bouncing back toward the car with a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

“I got our key so let’s go,” she said opening the back door of the car and grabbing

both of our bags.

“Let me get something,” I protested.

“Nope, I’ve got it. Let’s go get ready.” She said bouncing off toward the stairs. “You

better get moving girl or I will leave you right here. You are gonna have so much fun

tonight.” She called back over her shoulder as she disappeared into the stairwell. I

quickly got out of the car, hit the lock button and ran off to find Geri. I caught up with

her at the top of the stairs.

“Thought I lost you slow poke.” She chirped

“You seem a little too excited there Geri, what’s really going on?” I asked

suspiciously.

She stopped in front of our door and swiped the key card and pushed the door open.

“What do you mean?” she asked innocently. “Nothing is going on, I am just excited to

be sharing this with you for your birthday.”

“Ok, but no more surprises, no having the entire restaurant singing Happy Birthday to

me or anything.” I said shooting her a warning look.

“No singing,” she smiled and made a cross across her chest. “Now let’s get ready!”

she said nearly jumping up and down in excitement.

I grabbed my stuff and headed toward the bathroom. In twenty minutes we were

dressed and on our way to the restaurant.

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 Geri wore a form fitting little plum number that hugged her in all the right places. My

little black dress was plain but I felt beautiful in its simplicity. I wore my hair up in a

twist with slightly curled tendrils of loose hair hanging strategically in all the right places.

My locket was proudly worn around my neck. I didn’t wear any other jewelry so I

wouldn’t detract from my necklace.

“We look Hot!” Geri exclaimed. “I can’t wait till he sees you.”

“Who sees me?” I asked

“The guy who parks the cars, who else?” she said nervously. “Here we are, let’s

flaunt it and drive all the guys here crazy.” She said while applying her lipstick in the

rearview mirror.

Before I could question her any more she had pulled me from the car and into the

lobby of the restaurant. It was beautiful. Fancier than any restaurant I had been in for

quite a while.

“Wait right here, I’ll see if our table is ready.” And off she went.

I stood there feeling nervous. I couldn’t tell what was making me nervous, but boy I

was very nervous. I was getting approving glances, even winks, from men walking by.

Maybe that is what was making me nervous. I chuckled to myself; Eva get a grip. Just

enjoy the night.

Geri came bouncing back toward me and said, “Wait right here, I gotta go to the little

girl’s room, they will call your name when our table is ready, I’ll find you in a few.” And

she hugged me and bounced in the direction of the bathrooms. I swear that girl reminds

me of a humming bird or a pixie, never landing too long in one spot before she sees

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another she wants to visit. I wish I had her energy, she seemed like she was walking or

bouncing on clouds all day.

My cell phone rang and I answered it, “Hello?”

“Hi Eva, it’s Mike.” He said happily

“Hi Mike, you will never guess where I am with your crazy cousin.” I said with a

chuckle.

He ignored my statement and said, “I had a dream about you.”

“You did?” I asked.

“Yeah, I was in a restaurant and I was reading my menu,” he added

A young man came up to me at that moment and said Ms Good your table is ready,

could you follow me please. I started following the young man.

“So what did you order?” I asked Mike teasingly.

“Well when I put down my menu you were standing in front of me.”

“That is a dream, I can’t see me getting down to where you are any time soon.” I

joked.

“Here’s your table ma’am.” The young man said gesturing to a table that was already

occupied.

“How about I come to you?” Mike asked. Just then the person occupying my table

lowered his menu and there was Mike. We both hung up our cell phones, He stood and

smiled his warm smile and said “Happy Birthday Eva, I missed you.”

I stood there not knowing what to say. I realized my mouth was hanging open so I

closed it. Mike was dressed in a charcoal suit with a burgundy tie. His hair was tamed

down and he was clean shaven. He was beautiful.

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 “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Mike asked as the waiter excused himself.

“How did you…..Why....?” I was speechless, which is a rarity for me.

Mike stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me giving me a warm hug, “I

have never known you to not have anything to say,” he whispered in my ear as he

chuckled softly.

I could feel him, touch him, he was warm in my arms, and most importantly, there

was color so I wasn’t dreaming.

“Here, sit down Eva,” he said pulling a chair out for me. “People are starting to

stare,” he whispered in my ear. We took our seats and Mike said, “Are you Ok Eva, your

not mad or anything are you?”

His question snapped me out of whatever shock I was suffering from. “Mad, how

could I be mad at you?” I asked

“Well you haven’t even said hi to me yet,” Mike said looking a little uncomfortable.

I felt all of my shock and resolve melt away, a warm smile spread across my face and

touched my eyes. “Hi Mike,” I said in a breathy voice, “I am so happy to see you.” I felt

that inside I really was happy to see him. I hadn’t realized how much I missed this

wonderful man sitting next to me. “Thank you for the birthday wish,” I said then thought

for a moment. “Geri really doesn’t have tickets does she?”

“Nope, but she is getting a new bathroom built in her basement.” He said laughing.

“She would have done it for free because she thinks you are the right girl for me, but I

added the bathroom so she could say I bribed her.”

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 “That’s it, she is on the top of my list now,” I said in a fake angry voice. I took a deep

breath and let my mood soften then asked, “Mike what are you doing here? Don’t get me

wrong; I am so glad you are, but why did you do this?”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of you celebrating your birthday alone. I know I am a

day late, but I am going to make up for that tonight,” he said with a smile.

“You didn’t have to do this,” I said gesturing at the table and restaurant. “And I wasn’t

really alone,” I said as I fingered my new locket.

“Really, who did you spend your special day with, is that where you got the locket?”

he asked innocently enough but I saw what I thought was jealousy slightly touch his eyes.

Damn, I really didn’t mean to say that. Of course I wasn’t alone, Jesse was with me. I

had an amazingly wonderful evening with Jesse, the best birthday I could ever remember

having. How do I answer his question? I can’t tell him I was with Jesse, he would think I

was crazy. “Well the locket, I found under the floor boards of the house, isn’t it

beautiful?” Now that wasn’t a lie, so I’m doing well so far. “As to being alone, well it

was me and the ghost living in my house, we had a nice time,” I added a chuckle and a

look that hopefully made him think I was joking.

“Sounds interesting, I’m gonna have to meet your ghost friend some day,” he said

joking in return.

So I guess that means he bought my story, so I didn’t actually lie, I just colored the

truth.

The waiter arrived and saved me from answering any more questions about my

birthday with Jesse. We ordered our drinks and dinner and continued light conversation

through the appetizers till our dinners arrived.

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 Mike looked at me and asked, “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

I blushed and said “no.”

“You look so beautiful tonight, you put the stars to shame with your beauty.” He said

as he gently placed his hand over mine.

“Thank you,” I said as I blushed and looked at the table. Butterflies took flight in my

stomach when his hand touched mine.

“I am so glad you are here tonight,” he said placing his free hand under my chin and

lifting my face so he could look deeply into my eyes. “I have missed you so much.”

I realized that I too had missed him, more than I had imagined. “I missed you too.” I

said quietly.

“Then please don’t go back; come with me to Tennessee.”

My heart started to race. The idea of going with Mike seemed very tempting, but that

would mean I would have to leave Jesse. I felt anxiety rising in me. How could I go with

Mike and be without Jesse. If I stay with Jesse then would Mike be able to be in my life.

The room started to spin slightly. “Thank you for the offer but I don’t think it is right for

us yet,” I said shakily. “Mike would you excuse me for a moment, little girls room,” I

whispered. I got up and headed for the refuge of the ladies room.

I entered the ladies room, my safe place, and started to calm myself down. I took a

few deep breaths and closed my eyes, leaning against the cool marble of the walls. How

am I going to go back out there? What am I going to say? Is he mad at me for turning

down his offer? “Get yourself together girl, you can’t hide in here.” I whispered to

myself as I straightened my hair and decided to reapply my lipstick. When I was done I

took a deep breath and exited the ladies room and returned to our table.

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 “I’m sorry,” I said as I sat down.

“For what?” Mike asked.

“For running out on your question,” I said meekly.

“That’s fine Eva, I shouldn’t have asked you, its way too early.” He said shaking his

head. “I was just so excited that you were sharing yourself with me that I wasn’t thinking

right.”

“Sharing myself?” I asked.

“Yeah that you were here with me, that should be enough for now.”

And to lighten the mood I said, “Well technically I am not sharing myself willingly.

Remember, I was kidnapped.” I said in my best covert whisper.

Mike gave me one of his warm smiles, winked and said, “let’s finish our dinners

before the FBI comes busting in and saves the damsel in distress.”

Through the rest of our dinner we again shared small talk. Mike caught me up on

what he was doing on his job, and I gave him a play by play of my evening at the apple

festival with his daughter and sister.

“Sounds like you had a great time,” he said as he placed his credit card on the tray

with the check.

“Yeah, I really like your family. Well Geri I’m not too sure about now, you know

being an accomplice and all.” I said smiling.

“She always has been my partner in crime,” he said, “ever since we were kids we were

always getting in trouble together.”

“Excuse me for a minute,” he said as he stood up. “It’s my turn.” he said with a small

smile as he headed toward the men’s room.

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 I smiled to myself thinking; sure it is his turn, and I doubt he is in the bathroom having

and anxiety attack. I was picturing him leaning against the marble wall when he returned

to the table.

“What’s so funny?” he asked as he pulled out my chair.

“Nothing, just thinking.” I replied as I stood.

Mike signed the check and left a tip, gently took my hand and led me from the

restaurant.

Standing in front of the restaurant I asked, “So what now my captor?”

He chuckled and said, “How about a walk?”

We walked hand and hand across the parking lot into a neighborhood park area. It

was dusk and the park was quiet and softly lit by re-creations of early gas lamps. The

soft light threw a gentle glow on a worn path that followed a small creek toward a

wooden bridge. We followed the path, holding hands. It felt so comfortable and there

wasn’t the need to fill the silence with awkward chatter. We walked till we crested the

bridge.

Mike stopped and looked up at the moon and took a deep breath and said, “Eva, I

know me asking you to come with me kind of freaked you out and I am sorry I made you

feel that way. It’s just that I can’t explain it,” he took another deep breath and looked

down at the water. “Its just that I know this,” he said gesturing between us, “is right. I

can’t explain how I know but it just feels right.” Mike turned to face me and said, “Eva, I

know what I want to say, it’s all up here,” he said tapping his forehead. “I had it all

planned out, and to me it sounded wonderful, but for some reason it is coming out all

garbled.”

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 “That’s alright Mike,” I said as I looked into his eyes and could tell he was wrestling

with what he was trying to say.

“No, I have to say it now. I don’t know why, but I feel I need to say it now.”

“Alright, try again.” I said trying to sound encouraging.

“Eva, the best way to say it is, I am falling for you.” He said as he was, I guess,

searching my eyes for some clue as to how I felt.

Those same damn butterflies not only took flight but they felt like they were trying to

escape this time. My stomach knotted.

“No that’s not exactly true. I am not falling for you; I have fallen for you, hard and

fast. I don’t know why, because I am not usually this way, but it has happened. I will

understand if I am making you nervous because I am making myself nervous. But it is

true Eva, I have fallen for you. I am yours Eva if you want me, completely, heart and

soul.”

His last sentence made the butterflies stop for a moment and I reached up and kissed

him gently on the lips. The kiss only lasted a moment but if felt so wonderful, warm and

gentle.

“Eva you don’t have to tell me now how you feel, but can I ask you a favor?” he said.

“Yes.” I whispered.

“Could we do that again?”

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, he wrapped his strong arms around

my waist and I smiled and said, “Say please,”

“Please.”

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 This kiss was a little more forceful, I could feel a hunger behind his lips. I started to

feel myself pressing my body against his. Our breathing got heavier and my heart started

racing. I pulled back from our kiss and said, “We better stop for now.”

Mike agreed and asked “Do you want to come back to my room?”

My mouth dropped open, I had a sudden flash of anger. He thought I was that easy. I

was ready to storm off when he started laughing.

“What’s so damn funny?” I fumed.

“You should have seen the look on your face.”

“So…” I barked.

“Eva, I wasn’t inviting you back to my room for that.” He said emphasizing the word

that. “It’s just we really don’t have anyplace else to go, we could just talk or order a

movie. I promise I will be a real gentleman.”

“Alright,” I said as relief washed the anger away.

We arrived back at the same hotel Geri and I had checked into earlier in the day. We

went to Mike’s room and he ordered ice tea from room service. We spent the next hours

on the balcony cuddled on the lounge talking. We only stopped talking long enough to

share some wonderful kissing. We watched the sun start to rise and wash the darkness

away. It was such an amazing night. I wanted to hold on to it as long as I could, but

unfortunately the morning sun won the battle.

Mike turned to me and said, “I almost forgot,” as he reached into the pocket of his

jacket that he had taken off hours ago. He handed me a small box wrapped in red foil

paper.

“What’s this?” I asked.

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 “Well now it is two days late, but it is a birthday present.” He said beaming.

“Mike you have done so much for me already, I don’t need anything else.” I said

trying to hand the box back to him.

“Nope you have to take it. I can’t return it because it is engraved.” He said tapping his

temple, “I thought of everything, now you have to take it.”

I opened the pretty box and found a small heart shaped charm on a bracelet. I picked

up the bracelet so I could read the engraving. My heart stopped for just a moment when I

read the words

Dream of me

Engraved on the small silver heart.

“Do you like it?” Mike asked excitedly.

“Oh Mike it is beautiful, I love hearts.”

“Hand it here and I will put it on your wrist.” He said reaching for the bracelet

I noticed when I handed it to him my hands were shaking slightly. Mike put it on my

wrist.

“It looks wonderful on you, and look at that, it even kind of matches the locket.”

At the mention of the locket images of Jesse came flooding back into my mind. I felt so

ashamed that it was so easy to forget him when I was with Mike. I must be a horrible

person. What kind of woman could share intimate moments with a man and as soon as

she is with another he slips from her mind completely? How could I have let go of Jesse

that easy? And now how can I leave Mike after such a wonderful night.

“What’s wrong Eva?” Mike asked when he looked up at my face. “If you don’t like it,

you don’t have to wear it; I was only joking about not being able to take it back.”

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 I made a conscious effort to put a smile on my face. “No Mike, I love it. I want to

wear it.”

“Then what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing Mike I am just a little upset that our evening is over.” I know that wasn’t

what was wrong at the moment that he asked me, but I am upset that our evening is over.

I couldn’t tell him that I was really upset because I am a horrible woman who could so

easily forget about someone I had spent intimate moments with.

“Don’t worry Eva, we have many more evenings together as long as you are willing to

share them with me.” He said with an uneasy smile. “Remember, you promised me a first

date when I get home.”

“We just had that didn’t we?” I asked.

“Well technically, as you pointed out earlier, you were kidnapped so this can’t be

considered a first date. You still owe me.” He said smiling.

“I guess I will have to put up with you at least one more time since I promised.” I said

smiling back and glad he didn’t press the issue of me being upset.

“I do hate to say this Eva,” he said looking at his watch. “I need to be back at work in

six hours so I need to get going soon.”

“Oh Mike, I hate this. I wish you could come back home with me now.”

“Me to,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my

head. “I will be home in about six weeks. Do you think you can handle life without me

for that long?”

“I guess if I have to,” I said pouting like a little girl.

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 “That’s a good girl,” he said jokingly patting my head. “I’ve got to shower and shave.

I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“I’ll be timing you, starting…………..now.”

Mike grabbed his clean clothes then sprinted into the bathroom. Within seconds I

heard the shower running. I glanced around the room and packed his things in his over

night bag. I sat on the corner of the untouched bed and looked out the window. The

morning was getting lighter. I walked back out on to the balcony and just stared out

across the landscape. What am I doing? Up until last night my heart was winning the

battle between Mike and Jesse. Now an equal part of my heart is owned by Mike. I feel

as if I have one of those dotted lines that say fold here stamped on my heart. One half of

my heart beats only for Jesse and now the other half has Mike’s name emblazoned across

it. How can one woman make such a wreck of her life and her heart?

I felt as if at any moment I would start to cry. Mike walked up behind me smelling of

soap and shampoo and wrapped his arms around me. I wiped a stray tear away before it

could fall and Mike saw me.

“Eva what’s wrong?” he said turning me to face him. “six weeks isn’t that long.” He

said as he looked into my eyes.

I started to cry. I didn’t cry just because I had to leave Mike today. I cried because I

finally realized I would eventually have to leave one of them to be with the other. One of

these two amazing men would get hurt, and in hurting them it would destroy me.

Mike wrapped his arms around me and tried to kiss my tears away and kept whispering

“It will be alright” over and over again.

When the tears finally subsided I said, “I’m sorry Mike for being so silly.”

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 Mike puffed out his chest and said, “If I wasn’t such a manly-man,” then his

expression sobered, “I would cry myself. I hate the thought of this ending. The only

thing getting me through is knowing you will be waiting for me.” He hesitated for a

moment. “I hate to say this but I do have to go. Will you walk me to my truck?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Mike grabbed his bag, wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we headed for the

door. In the hall we walked slowly, his arm still around my shoulders and my arm

around his waist. My head was resting on the side of his chest. After every few steps

Mike would squeeze my shoulders and kiss me on the head. This walk hurt so badly. I

didn’t want to let him go so soon. I know I was being greedy but I wanted just a little

more time with him.

When we got to his truck Mike placed his things in the cab then turned to face me.

Without a word he gently took my face in his hands, looked deeply in my eyes and kissed

me. This wasn’t a normal kiss. This kiss somehow conveyed every word he was not able

to express last night. I could feel this kiss, not just physically, but every emotion that was

wrapped up in our relationship came through clearly. This kiss actually left me

breathless and weak in the knees.

Mike said, “ I am not going to say goodbye but….all I will say is ‘heart and soul Eva,

heart and soul.’” Before I could respond he climbed in his truck and started the engine.

“Six weeks, then we will have our first date.”

“Thank you for the wonderful birthday.”

“Thank you for the wonderful evening, now go back to Geri so she can get you home.

Please don’t be too mad at her.”

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 “I guess I can forgive her.” I said with a smile. “Please call so I know you made it

back alright.”

“I will Eva, and remember Dream of me.” And he put his truck in drive and left the

parking lot.

My heart sank. I walked back to Geri’s room and knocked on the door.

“Are you mad?” she said after she opened the door with the chain sill on.

“No, I guess not.”

Geri opened the door and let me in. “You look awfully down.” She said.

“Mike just left.” I said looking down at my new bracelet.

“I’m sorry hun,” Geri said as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “Is there

anything I can do for you?” she asked.

“No, I am going to get a shower so we can start home.” I gathered my bag and headed

to the bathroom.

An hour later we were in Geri’s car and headed home. I had told Geri that I was tired

and didn’t feel like talking. I just sat and stared out the window watching the scenery fly

by. Around one in the afternoon we made it home. Geri pulled up in front of my house.

“Sorry again.” she said looking guilty.

“No, Geri, I am glad you kidnapped me. I wouldn’t trade last night for anything. I am

just sorry I was such bad company on the ride home.”

“That’s alright I know you were up all last night, so I understand. Hey, go in and let

Mike know I got you home in one piece. Then please go to sleep.”

“I will, and thanks.”

“Bye Eva.”

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 “Bye Geri.”

And she pulled out of the drive. I unlocked the door and entered the living room

saying “I’m home.” As soon as I closed the door behind me I could feel the house

emanating relief, elation and love. I know it wasn’t coming from the house but from

Jesse. I knew he would have been worried that I didn’t come home at all last night. I had

expected some anger in the feelings that were floating through the house but it wasn’t

there.

“I have a few things to do then I am going to sleep the day away.” I announced out

loud to the empty room knowing that Jesse would hear me.

I walked to my room, placed my bags in the corner then stopped in the bathroom. I

walked to the kitchen to get something to drink. I opened the fridge, Mike’s fridge, and

just looked. I decided on a glass of milk. I got out the milk and decided to make a

peanut butter sandwich.

After I had drank my milk and finished my sandwich I just stayed at the table holding

my cell phone waiting for Mike’s call. I sat and stared out the window, re-living the

night before. I don’t know how long I sat there but when I finally decided to get up I was

stiff. The combination of my long ride and the hard wooden chairs didn’t do well on my

poor body. I took some over the counter anti inflammatory and headed to my room to

read and wait for Mike’s call.

I laid down and placed my cell on my chest and picked up my book. I was able to

finish the last five chapters and the phone still hadn’t rang. Huh, I kind of feel like my

life is one of those romance novels. If I had an author controlling my life what would

that person have me do about my dilemma?

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 I laughed at the thought. “Tink, my life couldn’t be a book. I would give my author

writer’s block. That is just the kind of luck I have. I would remain unfinished in their

laptop.” I said as I stroked her soft fur and she purred loudly. “What do you think Tink?

Is my life, or this thing with Jesse and Mike, going to have a happy ending? Most books

do. Am I going to have a happily ever after?”

Why hasn’t he called? I’ll give him thirty more minutes. If he doesn’t call by then I

will call him. I decided to just relax my eyes for a moment, they were getting so heavy. I

propped my head up with pillows and closed my eyes. I checked to make sure my cell

was on my chest. I took a few deep breaths and started to fade into sleep. I jerked my

self awake and checked my cell. He still hadn’t called. I checked the clock and it had

only been fifteen minutes. He had fifteen minutes more and then I was calling him. I

fought to stay awake the remaining few minutes. I succeeded and made my call. All I

got was that annoying message that the wireless customer was unavailable. I hate that

message. I decided to text Mike that I made it home and Geri is still alive. I sent the

message and placed the phone back on my chest and closed my eyes. Before drifting off

to sleep I remember thinking please call Mike.

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 Chapter fourteen

I opened my eyes and Jesse was standing next to me in my bedroom. I know I was

dreaming because everything was in shades of sepia.

“I missed you my darling Eva.” Jesse said with emotion pouring out all over. “I was

worried that something had happened to you.”

“I’m sorry Jesse.” I said as I sat up in bed. The cell fell from my chest into my lap. I

just looked at it for a moment. My cell had followed me into my dream. I tried to cover it

with my hand so Jesse couldn’t see it. “My friend took me out for a surprise party.”

“That sounds wonderful, who all was in attendance?” he sounded genuinely interested.

“Well, Geri, the girl who picked me up yesterday...and…..Mike.”

“Do you mean the young man that did work here in the house?”

“Yes.” I said pretending to examine a loose string on my quilt. “Are you mad?”

“No.” he said as he turned away and took a few steps.

“Don’t go! I am so sorry Jesse. I didn’t know he was going to be there. Geri planned

everything, I honestly didn’t know.” I said as waves of guilt flowed through me.

“My darling Eva, I am not mad at you.” He said turning back to me. “I could never be

mad at you for living your life.” He said emphasizing the word life. “I could never be

mad at you for sharing with that young man what I can’t. He said stepping back toward

the bed then eventually sat down. “No, I am not mad at all, just jealous.”

“I am so sorry Jesse.” I said as I reached out, forgetting about my cell, and touched his

hand.

“Don’t be sorry Eva.” He said looking into my eyes.

“But I left you alone last night, I feel so bad about that.”

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 He chuckled. “Eva I was alone for a long time before you arrived. One night alone

won’t kill me.” He said with a smile and little laugh. “Anyway after our….shower” he

said turning a little red. “I needed the rest, remember what interacting with you when you

are awake does to me.” After the red faded from his cheeks he said “So tell me all about

your party.”

“Well we went to dinner then took a walk in the park.”

“Sounds lovely, and did you do anything else?” he asked fishing for more information.

“Well, we spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other better.”

“And this Geri, she was there the whole time?”

“Yes.” I said. Now again I was telling a partial truth. Geri was there the whole time,

just not with us.

“I see you got a present, may I see?”

I looked at my wrist, my bracelet had made it into my dream as well. I extended my

wrist to Jesse. He took my hand and the colors flowed into the room surrounding us. I

love it when Jesse finally touches me and the world is again in color. Jesse held up my

hand so the charm was dangling at just the right angle for him.

“This is lovely, it matches the locket.” He said as he placed my hand back on the bed.

He didn’t mention the inscription. He held my hand and then his eyes dropped to my

cell.

“What is that?” he said nodding his head toward the cell.

“It’s a cell phone. I can call people and text on it.”

“I know you can call on it, I have heard you talking to that Mike fellow, but what is

text?” he said with an inquisitive look on his face.

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 I was happy for the distraction from my gift from Mike. “Well it’s like….” I had to

think for the right explanation. “Like writing a letter.” Jesse scooted closer to me to see

my cell. “See you pull up a person here that you want to send a letter.” I pulled up Mike

and started typing. “You type in what you want to send.” I typed in I’m home, Geri is

safe. Please call soon. “Then when you are done you send it by pressing here.” I said as I

hit the send button.

“That is an amazing invention,” he said as he took my cell from my hand. He

examined it closely then handed it back. “That could come in handy in the event

someone couldn’t talk.”

“Yes it does.” I answered at his interesting spin on my cell.

“So what are we going to do today? I asked Jesse.

He thought for a moment then said “How about we just talk and get to know each

other better?”

We spent our time sitting on my bed leaning against my headboard talking. Jesse

asked most of the questions. Everything from my first pet’s name to what I wanted to be

when I grew up. I answered everything as completely as I could. It seemed odd, I usually

hated talking about myself but with Jesse sitting next to me, holding my hand, I was an

open book. Just as I felt the questions going toward my feelings for Mike I heard

something ringing.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Your phone…”

Again I heard the ring.

“Eva you need to wake up now, your phone is ringing.” Jesse said.

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Again a ring.

I looked away from Jesse to my phone. When I blinked and opened my eyes I was

back in my room propped up against the head board.

Ring.

“Hello?”

“I am so sorry Eva, when I got here my employer was waiting for me. I had to go

right to work. This is the first chance I had to call.” Mike explained.

“That’s ok.” I said as a yawn escaped.

“I’m sorry did I wake you honey?” he asked sounding worried.

“Yes, but that’s alright. I tried to call but couldn’t get through so I texted you, did you

get it?”

“Yeah, I got two texts from you.”

“Two? I only sent…” Then it dawned on me, I sent Mike a text in my dream with

Jesse. My dream text must have gone through. I must have actually been going through

the motions when I was showing Jesse the phone. “Oh yeah, I remember, I woke up

briefly and sent another one.”

“Wanted to talk to me that bad did ya huh?” he said using his fake seductive voice.

“Yeah so bad that I fell asleep.” I said sarcastically.

“Ouch that hurt,” he said chuckling.

“You’re a big boy, it will heal soon.”

Mike let out a big sigh, “I miss you already Eva. You don’t know how many times I

wanted to turn my truck around and drive straight home to you.”

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 “You can’t do that, you need to finish your job.” I said as my stomach started to knot

up nervously. I wanted him home but, I know it sounded horrible, I wanted him to stay

away also. As long as I can keep the two pieces of my heart separate, the less likely I am

to have to choose. Because I don’t think I could survive with only half a heart.

“Don’t you?...Eva..?”

“What?” I asked Mike.

“I asked you if you missed me.”

“Yes, I do. I’m sorry your phone broke up there for a moment.” I know that wasn’t

true, but it could be.

“I am going to work through evenings so I can get done sooner. I want to get home to

you and Linda as soon as I can.

“Don’t over do it Mike. Please don’t overwork yourself on my behalf.”

“Are you trying to keep me away?” he asked jokingly.

If he only knew that in a way yes, I was trying to keep him away. “No, I just don’t

want anything to happen to you. With you trying to hurry through your job you might get

hurt.”

“If I get hurt will you be my private nurse?” he said trying to tease.

“I’m serious Mike, please don’t rush on my behalf. You’ll be done soon enough and

we can make up for lost time then.”

“You promise?” he asked

“Yes I promise.”

“Deal then.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Eva I am sorry but I have to go, I

need to meet with the inspector to see if my work is up to their standards. I hate this part.

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Even though I know I am following all the codes I still get nervous. I’ll call you

tomorrow. Don’t forget your promise honey.” He added.

“I won’t, bye Mike.”

“Heart and soul Eva, heart and soul.” Then he hung up.

I looked at my alarm clock and saw that it was after six in the evening. I got out of

bed and headed toward the kitchen. I made a quick stop at the bathroom to refresh

myself then continued to the kitchen. I fixed myself a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen

table. I slowly sipped my coffee and tried to figure out the mess my life had become.

What am I going to do? I know your average woman would pick the no brainer, the real

guy.

“Well I guess the average woman wouldn’t be stuck in this situation now would she

Tink?” I said as Tink jumped on my lap.

I know that it should be the obvious answer because Mike is real. But my heart for

some reason keeps returning to Jesse. He just has an almost magnetic pull on me. I don’t

know what it is, but the thought of me being without him has now become unbearable.

I decided that my confused life would not be resolved in one cup of coffee. So I

decided to try TV. I picked up what was left of my coffee and Tink then headed to the

living room. I flipped through every channel that is broadcast over the airwaves but

nothing seemed to catch my interest. I can’t believe with that many channels something

wouldn’t peak my interest. I turned off the TV.

“So Tink, what now?” I asked as she jumped off of my lap and headed into the

kitchen.

“That’s it, time to clean.”

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 Now I know I clean more often than most people who live alone, but I enjoy it.

Cleaning seems to calm me. I mopped the kitchen floor and wiped down my new

appliances. Doing this made me think of Mike again. He will be home in six weeks. I

need to figure out what I plan to do before he comes home. Do I further my relationship

with Mike? I know I really like him, and he can give me so much. I laughed, at least

Mike can be seen by other people. But Jesse…Jesse. What do I do, further my

relationship with a man I have strong feelings for; a man that I can feel and touch, or do I

stay with the man of my dreams? Who when I am with him becomes entwined with my

very existence? Who when we are together feels like he is the reason my heart beats. I

agonized over these questions till my head hurt but I still was not able to produce

answers.

“Well this isn’t calming me down or cleaning my house.” I said out loud.

I will just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Oh my goodness what a cliché, I

thought as I chuckled. Well back to the job at hand. In the living room I started moving

and vacuuming under the furniture. When I moved the sofa I saw a piece of the Ouija

board. I was surprised to find a piece of it still in the house. I thought the night it broke I

had gathered up all the pieces.

I picked it up and held it for a moment, it felt warm. I turned it over in my hand. It is

so hard to believe that this piece of cardboard caused so much trouble the other week. I

decided to take the piece to the basement to put it in the trash till pick up day. I turned

and headed for the stairs. I reached in to flip on the light switch. The light came on then

started to hum. The hum got louder and it started glowing brighter. I turned my head

because I thought I heard something moving behind me, but nothing was there. The bulb

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started a high pitch whine. I turned back to the bulb thinking that it would soon burn out.

The whine continued for another second or two then the bulb burst showering glass on

the first few treads of the stairs. I squealed and jumped, then laughed at myself for such a

silly reaction. I pulled a flashlight from a kitchen drawer and tested the light. The beam

of light was strong so I decided to traverse the steps with the broken glass.

“I turned to Tink and said with a chuckle, “Leave that for me, I’ll take care of it when

I come back up.”

I started down the stairs. I took a few steps and stopped. I heard someone’s foot

crush the broken glass on the stair behind me. I turned quickly directing the beam of

light on the step behind me. No one was there.

“Is that you Jesse? I whispered, but no one answered. I laughed nervously, “Girl you

are losing it, no one is there.”

My hand started to sting. I dropped the Ouija board piece and looked at my palm. I

saw a welt in the perfect shape of the piece.

“What the hell?” I said looking at my palm.

I felt the house start to rumble. It felt as if a loud toll of thunder vibrated through the

very supports of the house. I continued down the steps. I looked out the basement

window above the washer and could tell it wasn’t storming outside. What had made that

vibration? Earthquake? Now when was the last time Ohio had an earthquake? I walked

back to the stairs looking for the Ouija board piece. I started to reach for it but felt the

sting in my palm. I grabbed a rag that I guess Mike had left near the washer and used it

to pick up the piece. I could feel its heat through the rag. Again the house seemed to

rumble. I quickly tossed the piece into the metal trash can near the door. I headed for the

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stairs. I had a feeling that something was watching me. I tried to take the first step but

slammed into something hard. I stumbled back and turned the flashlight toward the stair.

There was nothing there. My pulse started to quicken. I tried the stairs again. Again I

could not get past some force or barrier that remained on the first step. I thought I heard

raspy breathing behind me. I turned quickly and saw only an empty room. Panic started

to tighten my throat and I felt as if my breathing was being restricted. I made a dash for

the stairs. I felt as if the devil himself was behind me. Just before I made it to the first

step I felt something grab me from behind. I screamed. Whatever it was that had me

held tight to my ankle. I was being dragged into the darkness in the furthest recesses of

my basement. I clawed at the cement floor feeling my nails snap as I tried to keep from

being pulled to God knows where. I screamed again. Over my scream I heard a crack as

electricity broke through the air. The room started to glow in a beautiful blue light.

“Let her go!” I heard Jesse yell from the center of the blue light.

I heard a low guttural growl and the pressure was released from my ankle.

“Eva, burn the Ouija board piece.” Jesse ordered from the light.

“What?” I was so confused.

“Burn it!” he yelled as the blue light got between me and where the thing had been

pulling me. “Get matches and burn it!”

I ran up the stairs. It wasn’t till I got to the top few and stepped on the glass did I

realize I was able to go up the stairs. I ran to the same kitchen drawer that had housed the

flashlight and pulled out matches. On my way back to the stairs I grabbed a sack of

discarded newspapers I had used for packing material and carried it to the basement. I

ran over to the garbage can I had tossed the Ouija board piece in and threw in a few

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crumpled pieces of newspaper. I held the match in my hand not sure if I should light it or

not.

I heard a growl from the corner of the room. Jesse’s light was still between us. Even

in this danger I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Jesse’s essence appeared. It was

mesmerizing. A beautiful neon blue with lightly sparkling minute particles swirling and

pulsing with each word he uttered.

“Light it now Eva!” he begged as the particles pulsed with his words.

I managed to break myself away from him and turn my attention to the match. My

hands were trembling. I struck the match and it burst into flames then suddenly went out.

I grabbed another match and struck it. It wouldn’t light. I struck it two more times. It

made a snap sound as it lit. I touched the flame to the newspaper and it lit immediately.

The basement started filling with smoke. I heard the thing in the corner growl loudly

then its growl turned into an ear piercing scream. It got louder as the flame grew. It

seemed to last forever. It finally stopped when the flames turned to red ashes then died.

Then it was gone.

“What was that Jesse?” I asked coughing through the smoke the fire had created.

“A result of the Ouija board.” The light said.

“Is it gone?” I asked afraid of the answer.

“It will not be back in this house.” He said. “Please Eva, no more Ouija boards.”

“I promise.” I said as my smoke detector started beeping.

I ran up the stairs and disconnected the battery from the detector. I opened the

windows and doors to let the smoke out. I ran back downstairs and with a rag picked up

the hot garbage can and sat it on the stoop outside the basement door.

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 “I don’t want that thing in this house even if it is burnt.”

After about thirty minutes the house seemed smoke free. I reconnected the battery on

the detector and replaced it above the basement stairwell. I closed and locked the

windows and doors. I was finally able to clean the glass off of the steps. I replaced the

broken bulb and vacuumed the glass shards I had left in the carpet when I came running

up the stairs for the matches and then to open the windows. When I had finally put

everything away I collapsed on the sofa. I was exhausted, not physically but emotionally.

In the last twenty four hours I have experienced the full gambit of emotions. I was elated

at seeing Mike but sad at the thought of having to choose between him and Jesse and

scared out of my wits by whatever was in the Ouija board. I don’t think my mind can

take much more. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster flying up hills with excitement and

cresting only to be thrown savagely downward to face sadness or fear. I want off this

ride but I don’t know how to make it stop.

I flung my arm across my head and closed my eyes. The only way to stop this ride is

to stop seeing both men and start new again. I did it before, but do I have the strength to

do it again? Can I leave Mike behind? Yes we have connected, but… if I leave before we

get much more involved; would it help? How about Jesse? Could I leave something as

important as Jesse? Could I imagine my life without meeting him in my dreams every

night? Tears started to form in the corners of my eyes. Tink jumped up on my chest and

started to rub her head against the arm that was covering my face. I believe she was

trying to comfort me.

“Tink what do I do?” I asked as I sat up and the tears broke loose from the corner of

my eyes and slowly trickled down my face. What do I do? I wish I had Mom to talk to…

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Mom, I miss her so much. I don’t understand that if I see ghosts or whatever you want to

call them…. then why don’t I see Mom. This just brought more tears. I felt as if I was

being swallowed up by self pity and loneliness. I looked around the living room through

blurry tear filled eyes. This house is what started all of this. I need to get away from this

house to clear my head. I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost 8pm. Without

thinking I grabbed my keys and my purse and was out the door before I realized what I

was doing.

I got in my outback and decided that a drive would clear my head. I pulled out of the

drive and headed down the road to nowhere in particular. I was just driving, trying as

hard as I could to keep my mind blank. I didn’t want to think about my situation. I

wanted to escape it all for just a little while. I left the main road and started down a back

road. I drove deeper and deeper into the unfamiliar area. I started getting nervous when I

could not recognize where I was or how I got there. I guess I just zoned out. I drove not

really knowing where I was or what I was doing. I guess I had been on auto pilot. The

trees were close to the side of the road so there was no where to turn around. I felt almost

trapped on this long deserted stretch of road. I decided to drive till I found some place to

turn around. I drove for another ten minutes till I entered a clearing. Off in the distance I

recognized Gladys Smith’s house.

“How in the hell did I get here? I have trouble finding it with a map.” I said out loud

in amazement.

I pulled into Gladys’s drive way and looked at the house. Gladys was in the open

door way waving at me. I put the car in park and just stared, not believing what I was

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seeing. Gladys was still waving at me, but this time she was waving me into her house. I

got out of my car and headed toward the house.

“Hi Eva, I was expecting you.”

“How were you expecting me when I didn’t even know I would end up here?”

She smiled and tapped her temple, “remember, I told you I was able to know things

about people. I just happen to be tuned into you at the moment. Come in and let’s have a

talk.”

I again felt as if I was on auto pilot. I walked into her home and sat at her kitchen

table. I felt almost detached from myself. Not really knowing what I would do next.

“Eva, tell me what is troubling you.” She said in a soft, caring, motherly tone.

“I’m not sure where to start.” I said weakly.

“Well I guess Jesse is back.”

“Yes, he came back the night I last spoke with you.”

“Please Eva,” she said as she reached across the table and held my hand that had been

resting on my keys. “talk to me.”

I looked at her hand blankly. “I kind of had a problem with the Ouija board again.”

Gladys gasped. “I can see that…it’s a good thing Jesse was there.”

“Yeah he saved me, told me to burn the piece I found under my sofa. I was lucky he

was there.”

“Eva, don’t you realize you are only being attacked because Jesse is there?”

I looked at her trying to figure out what she was saying. “Jesse isn’t the one attacking

me.”

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 “No, but the thing that is trying to get him has decided to attack you instead because

Jesse loves you.”

“What?” I asked trying to understand what she was saying.

“Eva honey, as long as you are with Jesse you are in danger. You inviting him into

your life leaves you open for whatever forces are out there. You are like a lighthouse;

your light is calling all lost souls to you. Good souls and bad. You will constantly be

bombarded by good and evil. As long as you stay with Jesse you are inviting every lost

soul to find you and do god knows what to you. That is the main reason I had you

promise to pick Mike.”

“So you’re telling me that if I send Jesse away then the lighthouse beacon will no

longer direct souls to me?”

“That’s exactly what I am saying.”

“Gladys, it’s not that easy. I can’t imagine going a single night without Jesse in my

dreams.”

“But if you want to be safe you have to, you need to leave Jesse behind and continue

your life with Mike.”

“What if I don’t want Mike, what if I know Jesse is the one who will make me

happy?”

“Eva honey, Mike is real but Jesse is no longer alive.”

I shook my head as if I was trying to dislodge the words she said. “But…I …Jesse….”

“Jesse is dead, Mike is alive.”

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 I knew I was fighting a loosing battle so I retreated and kept my arguments to myself.

I guess there really isn’t a logical argument for Jesse, but I felt if I didn’t fight for Jesse

my heart would cease to beat.

“What do I do about the thing in my house?” I asked changing directions slightly.

“The thing is no longer in your house, and when Jesse is gone it will leave you alone.”

“So If I don’t want to face anything like that again I need to say goodbye to Jesse?” I

questioned.

“Thank goodness you finally understand, you need to say goodbye to Jesse. The

sooner you cut it off the better.”

“I understand Gladys.” I said with a heavy heart.

“I’m so relieved.” She said letting out a deep breath.

“I’m going to go, it’s getting late.” I said as I stood and walked to the door.

“Anytime you need to talk, I am here dear.”

“Thanks,” I said as I quickly walked out the door and closed the screen door between

us. I didn’t want her touching me, or reading me.

“Oh, by the way Eva, the reason you don’t see your Mother is because she is peaceful

on the other side.”

My jaw dropped open as I stared blankly at her, “What?”

“Your Mother crossed over to the other side and she is not earth bound. It is a good

thing.”

“Thank you again, it does help to know that.”

“Break it off Eva, soon.”

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 “I’ll see you at our next visit Gladys, thanks for talking to me.” I said as I quickly

walked to my car. I didn’t want to promise her I would break it off, because I am not sure

I can. I pulled out and was soon on my way home. I was surprised that in the dark I was

able to find all the right turns and make it back on to the main road. Again auto pilot

served me well because I don’t remember consciously making turns.

I was soon back at my house. I sat behind the wheel of my outback just looking at my

home. This wooden structure is what has brought on all this change in my life. The day I

moved in my life changed to the mess it is now. I know I am calling my life a mess, but I

couldn’t imagine my life any other way at the moment. I couldn’t imagine not living

here. I couldn’t imagine my dreams without Jesse. I couldn’t imagine my waking life

without Mike.

I got out of the car and walked into the house. I realized when I left the house I hadn’t

locked the door. I turned and locked it and walked to my bedroom without turning on

any lights. I undressed and got into bed. I guess I need to talk to Jesse. I lay down and

waited for sleep.

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 Chapter Fifteen

I opened my eyes to my bedroom. The familiar sepia shaded walls and furnishings, I

got out of bed and walked toward the living room.

“Jesse?”

I continued down the hall.

“Jesse?” I said again as I walked into the kitchen.

On the table was a single piece of paper folded in half with my name written on it. I

picked up the paper with trembling hands. I was afraid to open it. What if it was a Dear

Jane letter? I took in a deep breath and held it. I opened the paper and let out a long

breath as I started to read.

Eva,

When I saw you racing toward the door I knew something was upsetting you.

I thought you might need a little time alone.

If you need me or want to see me I will be waiting at my fishing spot.

I am leaving it all up to you.

If you want me, you know where I am.

Loving you through eternity

Jesse.

I smiled at his final sentence, loving me through eternity, that little sentence made my

heart skip. I quickly folded the paper and shoved it in my pocket. I ran out through the

door down to where I know he does his fishing. I rounded the bend in the path and saw

him sitting on a large rock.

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 “Jesse!” I called out smiling.

He turned and smiled, got up and ran to meet me on the path. “ I wasn’t quite sure you

would come.”

“I’m here.” I whispered.

Jesse looked into my eyes and wrapped his arms around my waist. The world

exploded in color. “I am so glad you are here.”

“So am I.”

He kissed me gently on the lips then took my hand and we walked back to the house.

We walked in silence. I could see him out of the corner of my eye stealing worried

glances in my direction. We didn’t enter the house, instead he led me to the front porch

and he sat on the swing.

“Please sit here with me Eva, we can talk and watch the sunset.” He said patting the

empty space next to him.

I walked over and sat down. Jesse pulled me close and wrapped his arm around me.

We sat in silence. I wanted to talk to him but….I didn’t know how to start the

conversation. I didn’t even know what I was going to say once it began.

“Eva, my darling.”

“Yes.” I said as I turned my head to look him in the eyes.

“Something is troubling you, would you like to discuss it, or are we ignoring it at the

moment?”

“I would love to ignore it, but I can’t”, I said as guilt filled my whole body. I had to

tell Jesse everything about Mike. I had to tell him how I feel about them both.

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 “Then please tell me, I can’t stand when something is upsetting you.” He said with

beautifully caring warm eyes that looked like liquid crystal.

“Alright, but when I get started please don’t interrupt or I will lose my nerve.” I said

nervously.

Jesse just sat there slightly smiling. I could see the love and understanding in his eyes.

Would he look at me the same when I was finished? Will his eyes lose the love? And if

they do…can I handle it?

“Go ahead Eva, I won’t interrupt.”

“Jesse.” I said as I placed my hand on his and turned myself to face him. I folded my

knee up onto the swing between us. I forced myself to look in his loving eyes one last

time. I wanted to remember the way they looked because I had a feeling after I was done

his eyes would change. “I first want to say that I am sorry for what I am about to say.” I

could see his slight smile drop and worry slowly work its way across his face. “I need to

tell you that the last few weeks with you have been wonderful.” His slight smile returned.

“But,…” His smile dropped again. I don’t think I can continue if I keep watching his face

for every slight change. I looked down at our hands, his large and rough from working

with his hands and mine looking so small and weak. “But, I need to tell you the truth

about my birthday party. Yes I did go with Geri, but she left me and Mike alone for the

entire night.” The muscles in his hands slightly tensed. “We spent the entire time talking

and getting to know each other.” I took a deep breath and looked across the road into the

field. “He told me he had feelings for me…strong feelings for me. Mike wants to

continue our relationship when he returns in six weeks.” I paused for just a moment

trying to figure out what to say next. “Jesse, I have feelings for him also. Feelings that, if

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he had not gone away, would be quite strong by now. I don’t know how to explain it,

when I am with him I feel like that is where I am supposed to be.” I heard him take in a

quick breath, almost as if he had a sudden pain. “I am so sorry if what I am telling you is

causing you pain.” I said as I stole a quick glance at his face. I couldn’t read his

expression, or lack of expression.

He started to say something. I put my finger softly on his lips. “I’m not done yet.” I

took another deep breath. “I also know that according to you, you have strong feelings for

me. I believe you want to continue our relationship. The question is, Do you want to

continue our relationship when you know that part of my heart belongs to another man?

Don’t answer that yet till I tell you how I feel about you.” I turned my head to look

directly into his eyes. “Jesse, you have now become part of me. When I’m not with you I

feel as if part of me is missing, that I am not whole. Every time my heart beats it

whispers your name. I can’t explain it, but I can’t imagine my life without you. I will

understand if you never want to see me again, that is your choice. That would actually

make my life easier, I wouldn’t have to decide. I wouldn’t have to break someone’s

heart. But if you decide you don’t want me anymore it would break my heart. I deserve

to have pain. I deserve to have my heart broken, I have pulled you both unwillingly into a

love triangle that can’t help but hurt someone. I would rather that someone be me.”

I turned around and leaned against Jesse’s shoulder. “Before you say anything can we

just sit here and watch the sunset?” I snuggled into his side and looked toward the setting

sun. I didn’t want him to say anything. I didn’t want him telling me what a horrible

woman I am. I didn’t want him saying that he didn’t want to see me again. I was so

scared. I watched the setting sun as it slowly descended toward the horizon. The sky

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started to blaze with various shades of red and blue. I always loved sitting and watching

the sun set, but tonight it is such a final setting. After tonight, I have a feeling Jesse will

no longer want to share my dreams. So as the sun sets so does my dream world. The sun

finally dipped below the horizon. Then it was over. Just like my relationship with Jesse.

“May I speak now?” Jesse’s melodious voice asked.

I hated to answer, “Yes.” I held my breath and thought; here it comes.

“Eva.”

I didn’t answer.

“Eva?”

“Yes Jesse.” My heart was already aching and he hadn’t even lowered the boom yet.

“Please turn around.”

“I would rather not. I don’t want you looking at me when you break my heart.” I said

as my voice started to tremble with the fear of tears.

“Eva my darling, please turn around.” He said as he placed his hands on my shoulders

and turned me to face him.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I looked into his eyes and they were rimmed in

tears threatening to spill over.

“Eva, please don’t cry. I am sorry you are in so much pain. I should have never

continued to invade your life the way I have.”

“I am the horrible one, why are you apologizing?” I asked.

“I am apologizing because by being here I have hurt you. My very existence is

causing you pain.”

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 I was shaking my head and started to protest but Jesse placed his finger on my lips. “I

listened to you without interrupting, I now ask the same of you. Eva, I do love you. I love

you more than I ever thought possible. It is because of that love I have become a selfish

soul. My wanting you and invading your life was purely selfish. I never took into

consideration what it would do to you. When your young gentleman came along I should

have left. I should have swallowed my yearning for you and let you live your life. Now it

is me that has forced you into the position of having to choose. I am surprised you even

want to share your dreams with me.” He looked down at his hands. “And dreams are

exactly what it is. Eva, I am just a dream, I am not real so you do not have to choose.

Mike is the one for you. He is the man who will make you happy. Live out a long and

happy life with him. I am just a dream you will remember now and again.

My tears started flowing again. I knew this is where he was going to say goodbye.

“But Mike will be gone for another six weeks. I am asking you to please share these

last six weeks with me. Share your life with me in your dreams till Mike returns. Then

when I see he makes you happy I will fade into the background. I will leave you to live

your life with the real man, the better man for you.”

Again I started to protest and he stopped me.

“I have made my decision and I will stay around for 6 more weeks until Mike comes

back, if you would like me to. Then I will leave your dreams so you can live out your life

with Mike.”

I just looked into his eyes as a single tear fell down his handsome cheek. I can’t

believe he doesn’t want to leave me. I can’t believe he isn’t mad at me for having feelings

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for Mike. He has actually made my decision. I am not sure I agree with him making the

decision for me, but he still wants to be with me. He still wants to be in my dreams.

“You aren’t mad at me?” I asked astounded at his understanding.

“No my darling Eva, I am not mad at you. I am mad at myself. I should have never put

you in this situation.”

“Don’t ever say that Jesse, I am so glad you have entered my life. I really don’t think I

could have been strong enough to stay away from Keith if you had not been here giving

me strength.”

“Eva, you give me way too much credit. You could have made it on your own, I

know you would have. I just entered the picture and completely messed up your life. But

I can’t change it now. I am here till Mike comes home. Let’s just enjoy the next six

weeks. I want to share each dream with you till I no longer can.”

Jesse lifted my chin to look me deeply in the eyes they were still filled with love. Our

conversation had not changed his eyes in a bad way. If anything I saw more love, a

deeper love in his crystal eyes. He whispered “I love you.” Then he kissed me gently on

the lips. We spent the remainder of our dream time wrapped in each others arms. Talking

and loving each other. Everything felt so right.

I woke up the next morning in a wonderful mood. A weight seemed to have been lifted

off of my chest. I was so thankful for my night with Jesse.

The next few weeks went by quickly. I worked a little more than usual due to

vacations of the other nurses. I worked at getting the rest of my house in order. Geri and I

had a few afternoons together and I really like her. Mike called every day. We talked for

hours on end. He even had to change his cell plan to get unlimited calling. My days were

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great and my nights were wonderful. Jesse met me in every dream. He taught me how to

ride horses, how to fish and how to live the simple life, enjoying nature and not relying

on electronic gadgets for entertainment.

Chapter sixteen

Today had been a very long day. I had three very involved patients at three separate

ends of the county. I spent most of my day driving from one home to the other. I loved

the driving but this was a little excessive. I had racked up almost two hundred miles in

one day. After I finished my patients I had a long drive back to the office. Back at the

office I did my charting and attended a meeting on patient progress and some OSHA

required classes. I was actually happy to get the OSHA classes out of the way, if I did it

today it would keep me from having to attend a meeting on my day off.

When I finally got a chance to get into my Outback I was exhausted. I just wanted to

go home and get a shower and go to bed. Bed sounded so good right now, because bed

meant I would see Jesse. But I had promised Geri I would meet her for dinner and a

movie. Over the last few weeks Geri and I had gotten close. She had become my closet

friend. Of course most of her interest was in how Mike and I were getting along. I met

her at the local mall. We ate dinner at the Chinese buffet restaurant then went across the

mall and attended the most recent vampire movie. As we left the theatre Geri talked about

the movie.

“I can’t believe a vampire movie turned into a love story.” She said amused.

“I liked it, and the lead vampire was hot.” I added, making myself sound like the

young girls who sat behind us in the movie.

“Yeah, he was hot,” she added. “I bet the sex would be awesome.” She added.

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 We both laughed and headed for coffee at the shop a few doors down from the theatre.

“So Geri, would you let yourself fall for a vampire?” I asked goofing around.

“Well… It would be interesting… I do like being bitten.” She said with an ornery grin.

“You are so bad…” I added teasing her.

“Well would you? Would you let something dead touch you?” She asked teasing.

My heart stopped and I felt as if all the color drained from my face. Thoughts of Jesse

immediately flooded my mind. “No… are you kidding me?” I said nervously.

“Not even If it was a sexy vampire, ghost or mummy?” She asked joking.

She said the G word… does she know something? She can’t know what is going on

with me and Jesse. Calm down girl, she is just talking about the movie, she doesn’t know

about Jesse. “No that’s gross, I… Just quit, you are so bad.”

We ordered our coffee. I ordered decaf because I didn’t want anything keeping me

from Jesse. We drank our coffee and just chatted lightly. When we had finished we

returned to our cars and I left for home. I looked at my watch and saw that it was now

after 9 pm. I was so tired after my full day. I couldn’t keep from yawning my entire ride

home. I must be getting old, I thought, I can’t remember being so tired this early. I

chuckled to myself maybe I am not tired, I am just anxious to see Jesse.

I walked into the house and announced “I’m home.” I locked the door and hung the

keys on the nail behind the door. I dropped my bag and purse on the coffee table and

headed for the shower. When I finished I got dressed and crawled into bed. I snuggled

down in my comfortable bed and waited for sleep. I was thinking that I have two and a

half weeks left till Mike comes home when I finally succumbed to sleep.

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 I opened my eyes and Jesse was waiting on the bed next to me. “Hello beautiful.” He

said smiling from ear to ear.

“How ya doin’ handsome?” I asked winking at him.

“Doin’ great now that you are here.” He said as he dove across the bed and started

tickling me.

I started giggling and shrieked “Stop it!”

He rolled off me and said “What are we doing tonight?”

“What ever you want sexy.” I said playfully. I can’t believe how modernized he had

become with his flirting. I am a bad influence on him I thought as I chuckled softly.

“How about we take a walk.” He said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me off the

bed.

“Sounds great, let’s go.” I said enthusiastically. I was still surprised that when I am

dog tired in my waking world when I get to my dream world I am full of energy. It’s like

Jesse is my own personal battery charger. I chuckled softly at the mental picture I had of

me and Jesse connected by jumper cables.

“What’s so funny?” he asked as we walked hand and hand out the door.

“Oh nothing, I am just happy we are together.”

“So am I darling, so am I.”

We walked down to the stream, a large flat rock was jutting out over an area where the

water pooled. We walked out to the edge of the rock and sat down.

“Take your shoes off and put your feet in the water, it is wonderful.” He said as he was

removing his shoes.

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With my shoes off I dangled my feet in the water and took in a deep breath and let out a

big sigh. I leaned back on my arms and turned my face toward the sun. I felt the sun

warming my skin. I unbuttoned my shirt and let it hang open.

“Now I know you have seen a woman in a tank top before, someone over the last few

decades had to have worn one.” I said as I caught Jesse staring at me.

“I have, just not someone as beautiful as you.” He said with an ornery smile.

“You’re such a sweet talker.” I said as I smiled back at him.

The sun was dancing on the water, light was reflecting in all directions as the moving

water bent the light and made it look like a pool of shimmering crystals. The combination

of the birds singing and the sound of the water falling across the rocks made such a

comfortable sound. I laid back on the rock with my feet sill in the water, my arms folded

behind my head and my eyes closed. I don’t know how long I lay like that, but when I

opened my eyes Jesse was laying on his side with his head propped up on his elbow

watching me.

“What?” I asked with a smile.

“Nothing, I was just thinking how glad I am that you are here.” He said with such a

serious look on his face.

“I’m glad I’m here too.” I answered.

“I wish we could stay here forever. I hate when morning comes and you have to

leave.” His handsome face pouted.

“Let’s not talk about that now please, the less I think about it the happier I am.”

“But we need to talk about it, I never meant for this to happen, I never intended to

become so dependent on you that I finally know what being dead truly feels like. Each

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time you wake up I die again.” He said so softly I wasn’t quite sure I was supposed to

hear him.

I placed my hand on his face and looked deep into his eyes. “I am here with you now,

I am not sure what tomorrow holds for us, but I am here now.”

He sat up and looked across the water, “But I want to be with you forever.”

I sat up and lay my head on his shoulder, “Let’s just enjoy the time we have each

night, we’ll take each day as it comes.” And to lighten the mood I said, “unless you find

some hot looking ghost girl you want to replace me with.”

“Huh she doesn’t even need to be that hot, just easy.” He said with a big smile.

I laughed and pushed him into the water. He fell in with a big splash, he was up to his

waist in the water when he stood up. I marveled at how his wet shirt was clinging to

every muscle and ripple of his exquisite body.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said with and ornery grin. He crooked his finger

toward me, “come here.”

“No, I’m fine right where I am.” I said shaking my head.

“Come here, I want to give you a hug.”

“No, you stay right where you are.” I said nervously.

At that he splashed toward me. I was getting up and grabbing my shoes when he

jumped from the water and wrapped his arms around me and jumped back into the water

still holding me.

“I can’t believe you did that!” I said spitting water from my mouth.

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 When I looked up into Jesse’s face his eyes were smoldering. He was looking deeply

into my eyes. He raised his hand and gently brushed a stray strand of wet hair from my

cheek.

“Wha…”

“Shhh,” he said as he gently touched my lips with his finger. I let the word dangle

unfinished. He gently ran the back of his hand from my temple to my jaw. My heart

started to race. He bent his head down and placed his lips gently where my ear meets my

jaw. He brushed his lips across my cheek as he exhaled. His warm breath tingled on my

skin. I felt a familiar tug and warmth starting to spread through me. He placed his lips on

my other cheek and again gently brushed across it. I noticed his breathing became more

rapid.

He placed his lips directly on my ear and whispered in a deep husky hungry voice,

“I have wanted to do this for so long.” He kissed down the side of my neck breathing

deeply through his nose. “You smell so wonderful…” Kissing back up my neck and back

to my ear. “Do you want me to stop?” He asked breathlessly.

“No,” was all I could say.

He pulled his face from mine and looked again in to my eyes. The warmth I felt before

had now turned into an ache. I looked down, embarrassed by my yearnings. He gently

cupped my face in both of his strong hands and tipped my face to him. He looked

longingly into my eyes and kissed me gently on the lips.

At that moment nothing existed, we weren’t standing in water, I could no longer hear

anything around me. All I heard was his deep breathing and my pounding heart. I reached

up and wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kiss. My hunger was stronger

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that I though possible. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and pulled him closer. I could feel

that his hunger was as strong as mine. My heart was pounding, my head was swimming ,

am I really ready for this?

He pulled himself from me and lifted me out of the water onto the large rock. He

crawled out of the water and took off my blouse leaving me in my tank top. He got on his

knees and pulled his shirt off. His muscles rippled as he crawled on top of me and again

started kissing me deeply. I ran my hands across his muscular wet back and hungrily

wrapped my fingers in his hair.

Jesse raised up and looked into my eyes and had an anguished look on his face. “Are

you sure you want to do this?” He asked. “I don’t want you to feel you have to.”

I pulled him back to my wanting lips, after a deep kiss I whispered in his ear, “make

love to me.”

He kissed me gently then stood up, seemingly without effort he scooped me up in his

strong arms and held me close to his strong chest. Without a word he carried me toward

a small grouping of weeping willow trees. He parted the bent boughs with his shoulder

and walked through. What I saw made me gasp in awe at the beautiful almost room like

expanse under the tree. The weeping branches enveloped the area in a soft light green

glow as the sun shone through the leaves. “Oh Jesse, this is so beautiful”

“Not near as beautiful as you my darling,” he said as he laid me gently on a soft

mound of moss.

Without taking his eyes from mine Jesse removed my tank top. He leaned in and

gently kissed me on the shoulder then followed across my collar bone to the nape of my

neck. My heart was again pounding, I didn’t know that someone’s touch could waken

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feelings in me that I had never experienced before. As Jesse worked across my other

collar bone he tugged on my bra strap with his teeth slightly nipping my shoulder. A rush

of heat flushed through my entire body. His lips lingered on my shoulder. I wanted him

to hurry, I was so hungry for him. As he nibbled on my shoulder, his other hand lightly

brushed up my arm to my shoulder till he was able to slip my other strap off. Quickly his

hand was in the small of my back pulling me up to a sitting position. He kissed my lips

gently then wrapped his arms around me finding the hooks on my bra and undoing them.

Before pulling himself away to let my bra fall he whispered in my ear, “Are you sure you

want to do this?”

“Make love to me, all I want is for you to make love to me.” I said in a breathy voice.

He inhaled deeply, then backed away to let my bra fall into my lap. He smiled

slightly. He stood up and finished undressing. I marveled at his beautiful form. His

smile widened as he knelt beside me and gently pulled off the remainder of my clothes.

“You are so beautiful, this must be heaven.” He whispered as he climbed on top of

me. I reached up and tangled my fingers in his hair as he entered me and we started

rocking as if on beautiful waves.

He whispered “I love you,” again and again in my ear as the rocking became quicker

and more forceful. I was experiencing feelings I had never had before. I felt as if our

souls were flying above the clouds, hindered and enclosed by nothing. We were soaring

in time and in tune with each other. It was amazing and beautiful. I surrendered my

entire being to his love and our rhythmic rocking. Our souls reached a moment where we

became one as he shuddered and collapsed breathless on top of me.

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After Jesse finally caught his breath, he raised himself up in push up fashion and smiled

from ear to ear. “I love you Eva,”

“I love you to Jesse,” I said as I raised myself up to kiss his lips.

“I hate to say it but let’s get dressed,” he said as he rolled off of me and started to get

up.

I reached up and grabbed his leg, “Let’s just stay here for awhile, let’s just lay here

and hold each other.” I said with a look on my face that he couldn’t say no to. “Let’s just

lay here till my alarm goes off, please.”

Jesse smiled and crawled behind me and kissed me on the neck. “Alright as long as

you agree to do it naked,” I could hear the orneriness in his voice.

“Now really, is there any other way?” I replied with an ornery glint to my voice.

Jesse wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me as close as he possibly could.

I lay wrapped in Jesse’s arms. Occasionally Jesse would bring his lips to my ear and

whisper softly “I love you,” then would kiss me gently.

We stayed like this for an immeasurable amount of time. I started thinking about how my

life had changed since I met Jesse. I feel closer to him than I have any other man in my

life. I feel complete only when I am in his arms. I decided right then and there to forget

about Mike and do whatever I could to be with Jesse forever. Could I stand to only have

Jesse in our dream world? I knew before the thought was finished that it would never be

enough. I had to be with Jesse. I had to be like Jesse. That meant I had to die like Jesse.

I had to literally give up my life to have a life with Jesse, a complete life. I had to figure

out how I would die. Being a nurse I tried to figure out the least painful and most

successful possibility. I quickly ran through the possibilities and settled on carbon

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monoxide. That settles it; I will kill myself with carbon monoxide and then spend

eternity with Jesse. My thoughts brought me comfort. For the first time in a very long

time, I was no longer confused about my life, Mike or Jesse. I was so happy I had finally

made a decision. I now needed to decide on a time frame. I need to say bye to Mike. I

couldn’t really tell him what I was planning but I could let him down easy, or break up

with him.

I was so lost in my plans that when Jesse kissed me on the shoulder I jumped. “What’s

wrong my darling, you are so quiet?” he asked.

“Nothing is wrong, you just wore me out,” I said chuckling lightly.

“Well then if nothing is wrong then what are you thinking my Darling?” he asked

quietly.

“Nothing,” I said just a little too quickly because he rolled me over and looked into my

eyes. “Do you regret making love to me?” he asked with a pained expression on his face.

“No… don’t ever think I regret anything about you or us making love.” I added.

“Then please tell me what you were thinking, or I will just think the worst.” He said

with his glorious eyes pleading.

I rolled back over and let him wrap his strong arms around me, holding me close. “I

was wondering what happens if a person kills themselves,” I said in a barley audible

whisper.

“Why do you want to know that?” he asked sounding a little alarmed.

“Well I was just wondering that if you are here, where else do souls go?” I thought

for a moment. “Is there a hell, and if there is what does someone have to do to be sent

there?”

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 “I am not sure; until I met you I honestly thought this was my own personal hell.” He

sighed deeply, “I thought I was in hell, doomed to do the same thing over and over for

eternity. To me that is the definition of hell, never moving forward, never accomplishing

anything. Never being happy, never being sad, just existing, and never feeling, that to me

is hell.” He thought for a moment, “Now I know this is heaven, my own personal

glorious heaven with the most beautiful angel there is.” He said kissing me gently on the

cheek.

“I guess there are as many different versions of hell as there are people.” I said.

“Tell me, what is your idea of hell Eva?”

“Me existing without you,” I said as I welled up with tears at the thought. “My idea of

heaven is being with you, wrapped in your arms, always and forever.”

“I am here with you now, so is this heaven for you?” He asked with a smug little lilt

in his voice.

“Almost,” I said, “then hell comes when I have to leave you and our dream world.”

“But you always get to come back, so why is that hell for you?” he questioned.

“Jesse I want to stay with you all the time, I never want to leave you.” I answered

“What are you saying Eva?” He said as he sat up so he could look me in the eyes. “Is

that why you asked about suicide?” He demanded. “Eva you can’t, you just can’t.” he

said as he sounded a little more panicked with each word. “Eva you have to live, I can’t

let you end your life just to stay with me!” He said as he firmly gripped my shoulders.

“But I want to be with you and only you. I don’t care about life because I have

everything I want right here.” I said as tears started streaming down my face.

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 “You can’t, I won’t let you do something as stupid as kill yourself. You just can’t

deny the world your life energy, if you weren’t in the world it would be a much bleaker

place, the world needs your light.”

I stood and turned my back to him, “don’t you want me?” I whispered, “Because if

you don’t want me I might as well be dead.” I said as I started gathering up my clothes.

I felt Jesse walk up behind me. He turned me to face him; his eyes were filled with

tears. “Eva, yes my darling, I do want you. I love you. But if I had known that my

existence would cause you such thoughts I would have never shown myself in the first

place.” He walked back to where we had just made love and started getting dressed. “I

can’t let me be the reason you die, I won’t let you do it, and I just can’t let you do it.”

Large tears started rolling down my face, “Jesse, I have made my decision; I want to

spend eternity with you.”

“But what about your life?” he asked

“What life?” I added.

“What about Mike?”

“Mike…. Mike? Now you’re pushing for Mik?.” I was getting mad. “I want you, not

Mike!” I was now yelling.

“Calm down Eva, please stop yelling.” Jesse said as he walked over to me and tried to

hold me.

I pushed his hands away, I looked around and found the rest of my clothes and walked

to the other side of the tree trunk to get dressed. I worked to calm myself down, I took a

few deep breaths and after I finished dressing I walked back to Jesse. “I am sorry I

yelled.” I said looking at my feet. “It’s just that I thought I had made the perfect

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decision, I was going to end my life so we could spend eternity together.” I turned my

face up to meet his gaze. His eyes were filled with tears; there was so much pain on his

face. “I am sorry I have upset you, but Jesse you are who I want. Yes, Mike is a nice

guy, but you are the one I love.” I grabbed Jesse’s hands, “I want to die so I can live with

you.” I let go of Jesse’s hands and stood looking into his shattered expression.

“Eva listen to me….please listen.” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I do

love you, and you wanting to spend eternity with me, well it makes my heart sing.”

I started to say something but he put up a finger and touched it to my lips.

“But the thought of you wanting to end your life makes my heart scream out in such

agony that if I wasn’t already dead it would kill me.”

I thought about raising an argument but just let it go.

“Eva even if you did kill yourself, you have no idea where you will end up, Hell I

don’t even know how I ended up here, not in heaven or hell.” He turned away from me.

“Eva I am so upset with myself that my greediness or my neediness for you and your love

has put you in such danger.”

“You haven’t put me in danger.” I said flatly, upset at his entire reaction. “You have

made me fall in love, deeply and completely in love. How can that ever be considered

being in danger?”

“The love isn’t the danger, what you are willing to do for that love is the danger.” He

said in a sad tone with a far away look in his eyes.

“I’ve made up my mind; I want to stay with you forever.” I said loudly trying to make

him understand that I was serious.

“You sound pretty sure of yourself,” he said staring at me with flat eyes.

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 “Yes I am.” I said stubbornly as I folded my arms across my chest.

“I can’t change your mind?” again looking at me with flat lifeless eyes.

“Nope, I have made up my mind.” I said smugly.

“Well then let me just show you what it is like to be dead.”

Jesse grabbed my arm and roughly pulled me from our beautiful green room. As the

branches parted we were in a stark overgrown cemetery. He pulled me toward a stone

that had been long since neglected and was leaning to one side.

“Look at it Eva!” he was yelling at me pointing at the stone. “Read the stone!”

I bent to read the stone. It was exactly what I had expected, it was Jesse’s stone.

“This is what being dead means Eva, here is where I really am!” he yelled as he

pointed to the ground under our feet. “I am under this dirt, or whatever is left of me is

under this dirt.” He reiterated his point by stomping on the ground. “This is not fun; this

is not anything anyone wants to experience till it is their time.” He had stopped yelling

but was still talking loudly. “I have spent many of the last decades reliving one moment

in time over and over again.” He said again with a dazed far away look in his blank eyes.

“Until you I can honestly say there was nothing.” He said barley above a whisper.

“That is why I want to die, so together, we will have something.” I said starting to cry

again.

“Eva,” he said as he pulled me close. “I am under this dirt, I am not real anymore.”

I tried to pull free from his strong arms, but I couldn’t, “you are real enough to me.” I

said as I tried to stop the tears.

“Eva I am not real, our world is not real.” He said pulling my face up to his, “What we

have does not exist, I do not exist.”

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 “Stop it!” I yelled. “Just stop it now, you are real, our love is real!” I was nearing

hysterics.

“Eva, I will not be responsible for you not existing,” he was saying loudly trying to be

heard through my constant sobbing. “I will not be responsible for a soul as beautiful as

yours not existing.”

“What do you mean?” I managed to choke out through body racking sobs.

He let go of me and turned, then started to walk away. He stopped for a moment,

looked down at his feet, and without turning back to me he said, “It means I am leaving.”

He said flatly. “I can not be the reason you die, I can not be your murderer.” He took a

deep breath and held his head high and walked out of the cemetery.

“Jesse…. Jesse…” I felt little pieces of me starting to crumble away. I fell to my

knees and realized I was kneeling on Jesse’s grave. “Jesse…Plllleeeaaassseee don’t

leave me.” I felt my dream world crumbling around me. The colors started to fade… I

panicked and started digging at the dirt on Jesse’s grave. I just had to get to him. My

mind was shattering, my reality or dream was shattering. I could hear glass breaking. I

suddenly felt cold and started to shudder. I was falling apart. I felt the glue that had held

me together through my entire life slowly giving way. I collapsed on his grave, hugging it

trying to force him close to me. I closed my eyes and soaked the ground with my tears.

When I opened my eyes, I looked around confused. I was back in my house but I was

on the floor tangled in my blankets. I got up and numbly took myself to the bathroom. I

looked at my reflection. I had dirt streaks all over my face. I reached up to touch my

face and saw that my nails were broken and caked in dirt.

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 “What the hell is this?” I said completely confused at my appearance. Had I actually

been at Jesse’s grave? It’s impossible…it was all in our dream world. I started to panic.

I quickly washed my face and got dressed. If I was really there, then all of this really

happened. Did Jesse really leave? I ran from the house and drove too quickly to the

cemetery where Jesse was buried. I had read in the article from the library that Jesse was

interred at the local church graveyard that had been abandoned long ago. I got out of my

car and recognized the stone’s location from the dream the night before. I slowly walked

to the stone. When I had gotten close enough I realized there had been some recent

disturbance of the dirt. When I bent to touch the freshly turned dirt, I realized that it

matched my hands perfectly.

I let out an agonizing scream and collapsed on Jesse’s grave. The same shattering or

crumbling feeling returned. I began to sob again. “How can you leave me? I finally told

you how much I loved you. Am I not good enough for you?”

I closed my eyes and cried. When I opened my eyes, I was back in my sepia colored

house, searching through every room yelling Jesse’s name. He did not answer. I ran down

to the water and our green room where we had just made love. Jesse wasn’t there either.

I ran to the apple orchard behind the barn and again yelled his name. Nothing and Jesse

was nowhere to be found. I felt as if my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I

remembered telling Jesse once that my heart, with every beat whispered his name. Now

with the way my heart was slamming against my chest wall it must be screaming his

name. My world, my dream world was collapsing. The perfect existence Jesse and I had

built together was being washed away. I screamed his name again then collapsed in the

field.

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 I opened my eyes and blinked till they could focus. I was still in the cemetery lying

on Jesse’s grave. The sun was higher in the sky; hours must have passed with my laying

on his grave. I sat up and rubbed my swollen wet eyes. I must have been crying the

entire time I was laying here. I stood up stiffly and brushed the grave dirt off of my

clothes. I stumbled back to my Outback and climbed in. I drove back to my house in a

daze.

I entered the house and it felt odd, almost foreign. The entire atmosphere in the house

had changed. I sat on the sofa and just stared straight ahead. My head was refusing to

make sense of anything that was happening.

The phone rang and I screamed. I sat trembling looking at the phone. I didn’t want to

pick it up. At that moment I didn’t know if I knew how to pick it up. The answering

machine answered it for me.

“Hi Eva, it’s me your handy man. I guess you’re at work; I will call you later hun. I

miss you. I am counting down the days. We have seventeen days till our first date. I’ll

call you later. Oh and by the way Eva, heart and soul, heart and soul.” Then he hung up.

Heart and soul, the only heart I had was shattered. My soul, I wanted it to be with

Jesse and he does not want me. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them tightly

rocking back and forth on the sofa. I don’t know how long I sat in that position. I know I

had three more calls from Mike and Geri called once. When I was finally able to make

my mind focus I looked out the window and it was dark. I walked into my bed and

crawled under the covers in the clothes and shoes I had been wearing all day. I finally

fell asleep from sheer mental fatigue. I know mental fatigue sounds funny coming from

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someone who couldn’t form a single thought all day, but I think my mind was just

closing down trying to protect itself.

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 Chapter eighteen

I opened my eyes to a sepia colored bedroom. I stayed put, I did not call for Jesse nor

did I look for him. I just stared and my mind was numb. I just sat staring out the window

humming some unfamiliar song to myself.

The next thing I remember was it being daylight. The colors had returned, not due to

Jesse being near but because I was awake.

I spent the next few days in the same frame of mind. I didn’t answer the multiple calls

from Mike. I answered a call from work to tell them I had to go back home for a while. I

told Joyce that I would call when I got back in town. I taped a note to my front door

stating the same thing. Geri called repeatedly then stopped by the house. I didn’t answer

the door when she knocked. Thank goodness I had a slight moment of lucidity and put

the note on the door, or I would have had cops busting in. I just sat on my bed not eating,

not drinking, I simply did not exist. Jesse had said he didn’t want me to die, well inside I

had died. His leaving had not helped me stay alive. It had killed me.

By the fourth day I began to come around. The need for food and water overrode the

desperation and loneliness. I fed Tink and got myself a bowl of cereal, even though it

was almost lunch time. I sat at the table eating on auto pilot. I looked out the window

and realized it was a beautiful day. If I was not wallowing in self pity I would be out

enjoying my day.

The phone rang. I let the answering machine get it.

“Hi Eva, its Mike. I am getting a little nervous, I haven’t talked to you in four days.

Geri called me and said there was a note on your door. I have to say that is the only thing

that is keeping me from driving home this very minute to make sure you are alright. I

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hope you are checking your messages where ever you are. As soon as you do please call.

I miss you terribly and I am so worried.” He took a deep breath and said “Heart and

soul.” Then he hung up.

I felt awful not answering Mike’s calls. But how can I talk to Mike when I had made

my decision to stay with Jesse. How can I talk to him and act like nothing has happened. I

don’t deserve his love and devotion when I was so willing to throw it all away for Jesse.

When I finished my cereal I walked into the living room and turned on the afternoon

news. I sat and stared at the idiot box, how well that described the way I was watching

today. I wasn’t really paying attention to the stories, just watching the movement of the

people on the screen. I again sat and watched hours of TV without paying attention to a

single program. The numbness wore off slightly so I decided to shower. I walked into

my bathroom and forced myself to shower. I toweled off and walked to my bedroom. I

got dressed then automatically walked to the living room and sat in front of the TV again.

The phone rang. I just looked at it.

The answering machine picked it up. “Hello Eva, this is Paul. My Mum has been

asking to see you. I called your job and was told you were on vacation. If you check your

messages could you please call? I think Mum is nearing the end and for some reason she

desperately wants to speak to you.”

I picked up the phone, “Hello Paul? Sorry I just walked in the door. What is going on

with your mother?” I know that was a lie but at least I answered a phone call.

“Mum keeps saying she knows she is near the end and she wants to speak with you.

She is very adamant about it.” He explained in a worried voice. “Could you please come

over and speak with her?” he asked.

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 “I’m not really in a position….”

He interrupted, “Please if only for a few moments.” I heard the desperation in his

voice.

“Alright I will be there in about an hour.” I said.

“Thank you, thank you so much, I will inform Mum you are coming.” Then he hung

up the phone.

Damn, I didn’t feel like going anywhere. Why does she want me, what can I do for her

when I can’t even help myself. I reluctantly got my stuff together. It is amazing how fast

time flies when you don’t want it to move at all. I soon had to head out the door. I got in

my Outback and pulled onto the road.

“Damn, I forgot my cell.” I said out loud as I smacked the steering wheel. I guess I

really don’t need it; I don’t want to talk to anybody. So I continued down the road to

Paul’s house.

When I arrived Paul was on the porch waiting. “Hi Eva, thank you so much.”

“Why does she want to see me?” I asked.

“I’m not sure; she just said it was very important.” He explained as he led me to his

Mothers room. “Mum Eva is here.” He announced when we entered her room.

“Come in Eva. Paul could you leave us alone please?” she asked in a weak voice.

As Paul left, I crossed the room and stood next to Mrs. Long’s bed. Since our last visit

she had weaken considerably. Her skin now looked paper thin and ashen. She looked as if

every movement, no mater how faint, was an effort.

“Sit down my child.” She said nodding her head slightly in the direction of the chair

next to her bed. “You look like Hell.” She said after she got a good look at me.

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 “I know I have looked better.” I said with a half smile. “What can I do for you?” I

asked.

She drew in a deep breath that rattled slightly in her chest. “I know you believe in the

afterlife. I know you see things that others don’t. I know you have seen my departed

husband.” She paused to take in another few breaths.

“Yes I hate to admit it, but yes.” I added.

“Well I have information for you from my husband.” She said as she looked intently

at my face. I believe she was sizing me up to see if I was going to accuse her of being

crazy. “He says you are in danger. The thing that lives at your place is still around and

wants to hurt you.”

“What?” Jesse was gone and if he was still there he wouldn’t hurt me I thought. “You

must be confused, he is gone.”

“All I know is what my husband told me.”

“What exactly did he say?” I asked.

“He said that my nurse is in danger from the thing living at her place. That you are

going to be in pain.”

I thought to myself the pain must be my emotional pain. I think it hurts worse than

actually being physically hurt. “Did he say anything else?”

“Yes, he said they were making room for me up there, I only had to stay in this weak

crippled broken form a few more days then death will free me to be with my love.” She

said with tear filled eyes that sparkled at the thought of being with her husband again.

“Please Eva, heed his warning. My husband was never one to speak of things that were

not important. He believes you are in danger.”

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 “I will,” I said patting her hand trying to console her fears. I knew I wasn’t in physical

danger. My emotional self had already been ripped to shreds and felt as if someone was

throwing salt on open wounds. “I will be extra careful. Please thank your husband for me.

I will see you next week.” I said as I headed for the door.

“No you won’t my child; I will be with my husband by then.” She said with a weak

smile.

“God bless you Mrs. Long.” I said with a smile

“God be with you Eva.”

“Thank you.” I answered then I was out the door before Paul could ask any questions.

I drove aimlessly for a few hours till shortly before dusk. I decided to return home and

try to collect myself.

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 Chapter nineteen

I walked through the door and the overwhelming feeling of emptiness crashed down

on me. I used to love coming home. Walking through my door was like getting a warm

hug from Jesse. His love would fill the room and wrap me in the coziest feeling I had

ever experienced. Jesse’s spirit was in every inch of space in this house. His essence was

in every room and in every breath I took. Now, like me, this house was just an empty

shell. The thought of being in this house, his house, without him, seemed like having a

day without a sun or a boat without water. It just wasn’t right. I can’t imagine staying

here when I know Jesse has left his home because of me. I can’t be the reason he was

driven from his home. I just can’t be. Then it dawned on me, maybe if I leave, Jesse will

come back. Back to the home he loved. If someone else lives here maybe he will feel

comfortable enough to return.

“That’s it! I’ll sell the house.” I said out loud to the house. I’ll move back to

Parkersburg, get my old job back and start over. I’ve done it before and I think I can do it

again. Then if I move Jesse will be free to come back to his home. Back to the home he

loved. That settled it for me, in the morning I would call the realtor. I sat down in the

chair in Jesse’s living room. I can’t even think of it as my living room anymore. I felt

odd, numb, and empty but satisfied with my decision.

With my mind made up I was able to relax. I realized how tired I was. My short

excursion to Mrs. Long’s home had taken and used up what strength I had left. I exhaled

deeply and just sort of melted in the chair. I wanted to go to bed but the thought of

another dream without Jesse was just too much for my shattered soul to bear. I decided to

try to find something to occupy myself with till I could no longer fight off the pull of

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sleep. I tried reading, but of course the damn book was a love story. I couldn’t handle that

at this moment. TV just wasn’t the answer either. I thought for a moment and decided I

would find Tink and play with her for awhile. I had neglected her these past few days. I

fed her but didn’t give her much attention.

“Tink, kitty, kitty, kitty.”

When she didn’t come running right away I decided to get up and look for her.

“Tink, kitty, kitty, kitty.” I called again as I looked in the kitchen and bathroom. She

was nowhere to be found. The upstairs door had been closed and locked for three days

now so I knew she couldn’t get up there. “The basement.” I walked to the basement door

and opened it. “Tink, kitty, kitty, kitty.” She didn’t come running. “Tink.” I called a little

louder, then I listened. I could hear a faint meow from the kitchen area. I walked to the

kitchen, “Tink,” again I listened. I could hear a meow coming from out in the back yard.

Maybe she got out when I left today. I grabbed a flashlight because it had gotten dark and

went into the backyard.

“Tink.” I called. I heard the meow coming from where the old barn used to be. The

part of the barn that was left after the fire was covered with dirt, weeds, old wood and

blackberry bushes. I had never really noticed what a jumbled mess it was. I walked

toward the old barn. I know Jesse had told me to stay away from the barn… but damnit

he isn’t here anymore and my cat is somewhere in there.

I walked around to the back of the barn. In my dream I had seen an opening near the

orchard. I paused near the entrance of the foundation.

“Tink,” I called trying to see through the blackness of the old foundation. I heard a

meow coming from what was left of the old barn. Really it was just the stone foundation

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and the ceiling, or floor boards depending on how you looked at it. I turned on my

flashlight and timidly stepped through the old rotting doorway. The air was thick and

heavy. The smell of wet dirt floors and mold from rotting wood took my breath away. I

stepped further into the darkness. My flashlight dimmed. I gasped and my heart started

slamming against my chest. I realized I was about twenty feet from the entryway and if

the light went out I would be plunged into a wet moldy darkness. I shook the flashlight

and thankfully the beam grew strong again.

“Kitty, kitty, kitty.”

I looked around trying to see past the beam of light so I wouldn’t have to go in any

further.

“Here Tinkerbelle, kitty, kitty, kitty.”

I heard something move off to my right. I turned around and tried to find the

movement with the flashlight. There was nothing. Whatever had made the noise was now

hiding. I heard something move off to my left. I again turned and tried to catch whatever

had made the noise in the glow of the flashlight. Again I failed to find what had made the

noise. I looked around and the only thing I could make out beyond my light was the faint

glow of the doorway with the pale light of the setting sun. I stood in the quiet of the

decaying barn and listened intently. At first all I heard was my breathing and my

thumping heart. I forced myself to calm down and just stood there listening. Small noises

were coming from many areas of the massive barn foundation. I walked further into the

dank space.

“Tink, here kitty, kitty, kitty.” I listened for a meow but she didn’t answer. I decided

to give up and look for Tink in the yard. Maybe she had gotten smart and escaped from

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this horribly wet space. I coughed and jumped at the sound of it bouncing off of the large

stones used to build the foundation.

I turned to walk from the barn when all of a sudden the atmosphere became

electrified. The air around me became so thick I was having trouble breathing. I felt as if

something was suddenly in the barn with me.

“Who’s there?” I asked, but no one answered. My imagination was running wild. I had

a feeling something was slowly circling me. It felt as if it started with a large circle then

slowly closing in closer and closer. I felt as if I was its prey and it was waiting for just the

right moment to pounce. Pounce, that’s it, I felt as if it was actually playing with me. I

heard whatever it was on one side, and then it would quickly make a sound from another

direction. I kept trying to catch it in my beam of light but I wasn’t fast enough. I was

afraid to move. I felt a chill run down my spine. My heart was pounding so loud in my

ears at this point that I don’t think I could hear a cannon if it was shot off next to me. I

felt something brush up against my left shoulder. I screamed. Something behind me fell

making a loud crash and kicking up the acrid rotting air. I spun around a little too fast and

tripped over my own feet. I fell face first onto the wet dank floor. Immediately my mind

conjured up images of creepy bugs and things squirming all over the wet floor. The

flashlight had bounced out of my hands and landed about ten feet away. I tried to get my

bearings, but I could no longer find the doorway. Had the sun set already? I reached for

the flashlight. The beam was pointing away from me. Before I was able to grab it

something ran through the beam of light.

“Damn it!” I yelled as my hand automatically recoiled from the light. “Pull yourself

together, I thought, that must have been a raccoon or an opossum. I bet whatever poor

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animal it was had to me more scared of me than I was of it. I got up off of the wet dirt

floor and picked up the light. I started looking for the door; I was going to get out of this

place. It took what felt like and eternity but I found the door. Some of the ceiling beams

had collapsed across the door and the dirt and blackberry vines blocked out the dim light

of the night sky. I grabbed a beam and started to pull, my hands slipped at first from the

wet muck on the rotting wood. I adjusted my grip and started to pull again. My hands

slipped again, but not from the wet wood, something had grabbed me from behind.

Before I knew what was happening I was flying through the darkness deeper into the

barn. I landed on the wet floor with a thud. I shook my head trying to understand what

had just happened. I tried to get up but when I did something hit into me from the left

knocking me to my knees. In my right ear I heard a deep menacing chuckle. I could feel

something grab my hair and pull my face down into the muck on the floor.

“Who are you?” I screamed. “What do you want? The wet dirt was getting into my

mouth.

My hair was being pulled up and back forcing me to get up on my knees. I felt the

chain on the necklace Jesse gave me break. I tried to grab it before it was lost but I

fumbled and it fell through my fingers.

“What do you want?” I screamed again. Tears were running down my face. Again, all

I heard was a deep chuckle. The sound seemed to be coming from everywhere and

nowhere at the same time. I was picked up, thrown and I flew through the air and

slammed into one of the support beams for the barn. I heard my arm snap as my body

wrapped around the solid structure. I tried to catch myself before I slid to the floor. When

I hit, my head bounced off of the wet floor. I saw a bright flash of light behind my eyes. I

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thought this is what the saying “seeing stars” means. When my head stopped spinning I

got up to my feet. The knock on my head and the darkness had me so disoriented. I tried

to find the doorway. I ran in what I thought was its direction and stumbled and fell over

what I think was a discarded cart. I again landed on the ground, this time trying to catch

myself with my broken arm. I screamed as pain seared through my arm. I collapsed on

the floor. Just then my unseen attacker was over me. I could feel the hate radiating from

him. Even though I couldn’t see him I knew he was large. I could feel his presence on

every side of me. I felt like I was surrounded or enclosed in some sort of hell so tight, so

confining, that I was unable to breathe. He picked me up. My broken arm fell at my side

making me yelp.

He spoke his first words. “Call him.” He whispered

“Call who?” He must not have liked my question because he started squeezing my

arms.

“Again in a whisper, “Call him. I want him to see what I am going to do to you.”

Hysteria was rising in me. “Who do you want me to call?” I screamed.

“You stupid girl, I want Jesse. Call him.”

“I can’t, he’s not real, he’s just a dream!” My mind started running at lightning speed.

If Jesse is just a dream then this must also be a dream. I tried to rationalize what was

happening to me as just a bad nightmare. “Wake up Eva!” I screamed, hoping it would

bring me out of my dream.

When I was done screaming my attacker threw me across the room again. I landed on

something with a crashing sound. I had landed on something sharp. I screamed and felt a

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sharp burn spread through my leg. I reached down to my leg. I felt what I thought was a

broken piece of wood protruding from the center of my right thigh.

“Does this feel like a dream?” My unseen attacker asked as he whispered in my ear. I

could feel what I thought were his lips brushing my ear as he spoke. His breath brushed

my cheek. It smelled like old stale smoke.

“Call him or I will kill you.” He said in a tone that was meant to sound seductive.

“What are you going to do?” I asked.

“What should have been done the first time. I am going to take him to Hell.”

At that moment I realized my unseen attacker was Jackson. He was the same entity

that had attacked me through the Ouija board.

“As long as I can overpower him I can pull him to hell with me. That is where he

belongs,” he growled. “I have been trying to do this for ages but he would never come

into the barn. Now I can take away from him what he has taken away from me.”

“What did he take from you?” I yelled. I thought if I keep him talking I could figure

out something to do.

“He took my love from me; I saw him and her together so I had to kill him. He took

from me so now, my dear, I take from him. Thanks to how he feels about you, he will

come. You, dear, are my bait.” He said as he chuckled and kissed my cheek.

“He won’t come if I call him, he left me. He doesn’t love me anymore.” I yelled as

announcing these words out loud sent piercing pain through my heart.

“Call him now!” He yelled so loud it sounded like the rafters shook and what I

thought was dirt rained down on me.

“I won’t call him!” I yelled in return.

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 “Well then hopefully my dear your pain will draw him out.” At that he grabbed the

wood that was protruding from my leg and started twisting it. I tried as hard as I could

not to scream. The burning in my leg spread up through my back and into my head. I

didn’t want to scream, maybe if I were lucky he would just rip the damn leg off. I

couldn’t hold it back anymore. I screamed the most agonizing, gut wrenching scream that

I have ever heard. I started losing consciousness, slipping further and further into the

depths of total darkness.

I was unable to focus my eyes. I didn’t know if it was due to thumping my head on the

floor or the reaction to the pain. Through my unfocused eyes I noticed a glow starting in

the center of the room. It must be an illusion caused by the pain or concussion I was

suffering from. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head hoping it would help me stay

conscious. When I opened my eyes I was able to focus a little better. The light got

brighter and my attackers face finally came into view. I gasped as I saw what I thought

was skin melted away from the left side of his skull. His hair was wild and singed. His

eyes glowed with what looked like flames. I screamed then felt myself being picked up

and discarded or tossed across the room. This time when I landed I bounced on what felt

like and old pile of hay.

In the center of the room the glowing area took shape.

“Get away from her!” The forming shape yelled. It was Jesse.

I tried to scream a warning, but I couldn’t form the words.

I looked at Jesse. He was glowing, his jaw was set, his eyes cold and determined. I

tried to stay focused on him but I couldn’t. The periphery of my vision started to dim and

go dark. I couldn’t focus on anything anymore. I heard Jackson growl. I heard something

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crashing, wood splintering and things falling. I fought my way back through the fog of

my vision. I opened my eyes and could see Jackson and Jesse circling each other. Both of

them looked as solid as I did. At that moment I remembered the time Jesse told me that at

the place of his death he is able to appear solid, able to touch and feel both pleasure and

pain

“Jackson, please don’t do this. It never happened the way you think it did.” Jesse was

pleading for him to listen.

“I don’t want excuses!” He yelled. “Tonight you join me in Hell!” Jackson quickly

closed the space between them. He lunged toward Jesse and he was able to dodge out of

the way at just the right moment. Jackson stumbled but quickly righted himself and

returned to attack again. He dove at Jesse; again Jackson missed and went flying through

the air into one of the support beams on the far side of the barn. The ceiling collapsed on

top of him.

Jesse ran to my side. He touched my face gently. I could feel his touch. I realized for

the first time I was able to feel his hand on my face, his actual hand, not an electrically

charged apparition. I wasn’t dreaming, he was really here. He put his hand under my chin

and raised my face to his. His eyes welled up with tears. His lips brushed mine. I could

actually feel his lips, they were so warm and moist and I wasn’t dreaming.

“I am so sorry,” he said as a tear escaped from his beautiful eyes.

“Sorry for what?” I asked as I marveled at him actually being in front of me.

“I am sorry I ever left you. I am sorry he hurt you. I am sorry that I wasn’t here for

you. I am sorry for everything my dearest Eva.”

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 “Jesse it’s alright,” I said wincing as I tried to move my leg. “It’s not your fault, you

told me to stay out of the barn. I never was much for following rules.” I said as I tried to

smile around the pain.

Jesse looked at my leg and became visibly shaken. “Eva, you’re going to be just fine. I

need to get you some help though.”

“No! Don’t leave me!” I grabbed at his arm. I yelped when the pain in my body

started to increase. I could actually feel his arm, he really was here. “Just hold me.” No

matter how bad I hurt I just wanted to feel him touch me.

He put his arm around me and kissed me gently. “I need to get you help, you’re

bleeding.”

“I don’t care; I don’t want you to move. I want to stay here forever in your arms.” I

said weakly.

“We have to stop the bleeding.” Jesse took off his belt and gently lifted my leg enough

to slip the belt under it.

My head started to swim in pain. I had multi colored lights exploding behind my

eyelids. I was having trouble staying awake. Jesse cinched the belt tight above my

wound. I opened my eyes and looked up into Jesse’s handsome face and said. “Thank

you Jesse, thank you so much.”

“Now that the bleeding is controlled I need to get you out of here.”

I tried to protest but I was getting weaker by the moment. Jesse got up and started to

cross the barn toward the doorway. I closed my eyes again waiting for Jesse to get us out

of the barn. I heard what I thought was Jesse moving wood from the collapsed doorway. I

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opened my eyes just in time to see Jackson rise out of the rubble and jump across the

distance. He hit Jesse from behind.

“NO!”

Jackson jumped on Jesse and they both disappeared down through the floor.

“NO! NO! NO! NO!” as the last tip of Jackson’s toe went through the floor a fire ball

replaced the wrestling ghosts and shot up to the ceiling and caught what was left of the

barn on fire. My head swam… “No not Jesse…No please not Jesse.” I swam in the

darkness. My last thought was here I am going to die and Jesse has been pulled to hell,

we will never see each other again. The darkness finally swallowed me.

“From somewhere in the darkness I heard a voice. “Eva, I’m coming, hold on!”

I couldn’t swim out of the darkness to find the voice. I again was pulled back into the

darkness. The only thing that I could tell was I was picked up or floating. Floating,

maybe I’m dead and I’m floating to heaven.

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 Chapter twenty

My head hurt. I felt confused. I tried to move but couldn’t. I realized I was lying

down, but that was all I knew. I again tried to move and realized that what had to be

every nerve ending in my body was screaming with pain. I slowly opened my eyes. They

felt as if they were full of sand. A bright light above my head made me slam my lids back

down. I listened; there was a rhythmic beeping close to the right side of my head. I tried

to figure out what the sound meant. I knew I was familiar with the sound but I couldn’t

pull what it was from the foggy recesses of my mind. My head was swimming. I was

having trouble thinking. I felt drugged and was afraid to open my eyes again. When I

finally summoned enough courage, I opened them. I was in a dimly lit room with the

exception of a bright light shining from somewhere behind my head. I blinked, and

objects started to come into focus. I was in a hospital room. I tried to make sense of it. I

couldn’t remember anything. How did I end up here?

Just then I heard a movement to my right. I turned my head a little too fast and the

room started to spin. Nausea welled up in my stomach as I squeezed my eyes shut and

waited for the sensation to pass. When it was safe again to open my eyes, there was Mike

asleep in the recliner next to my bed. What was he doing here? I tried to reach for him but

I couldn’t move my arm. Am I paralyzed? Oh God please not that. Anguish rushed

through me. How am I going to live? I closed my eyes and when I did I could feel a

single tear run down my cheek.

A door on the other side of the room opened. I didn’t care who it was so I didn’t look.

I just continued to wallow in self pity. I could hear a pair of soft sole shoes walk into the

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room. Whoever it was adjusted a few things in my room and then came to my bedside. I

felt someone touch my hand.

“That hurts,” I said dully.

I opened my eyes and there was a nurse with dark hair smiling down at me.

“Welcome back,” she said in a whisper.

“Where am I?” I managed to choke out from a dry throat.

“You are in St Johns Hospital.”

“How did I get here?”

“From what the ER told us you were trapped in a barn fire. That young man over

there,” she said gesturing toward Mike, “found you and called an ambulance. You know

he has been here everyday,” she added.

“Every day? How long have I been here?” I asked

“Well today makes eight days.”

“Eight days?” I said in an alarmed but still hushed voice so I wouldn’t wake up Mike.

“What about Tinkerbelle, has anyone been taking car of Tinkerbelle?”

“He has.” She said pointing at Mike. “Everyday he came in he gave us an update, just

in case you woke up and he wasn’t here.”

“He did? Why did he do all of this for me?”

“Well according to him, you owe him a date and he just wanted to make sure you

would keep your promise.” She said as she chuckled and walked out of the room.

I turned to look at Mike again. He was still sleeping and looked so worn and

exhausted. I decided not to wake him. I tried to figure out why I was here. What had

happened? I just couldn’t pull the memory from my brain. I felt it right there but I

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couldn’t get my mind to release it. I finally couldn’t wait anymore I decided to wake

Mike up.

“Mike.” I whispered. He didn’t move. “Mike,” I said a little louder.

He jumped and sat up quickly opening and closing his eyes till they were able to

focus. “Eva, you’re awake?” He asked as he stiffly got up from the chair and came to my

bedside. “I was worried about you.” He said as he bent and kissed me gently on the

forehead.

“I’m sorry I made you worry,” I said weakly. I realized that it took quite a bit of effort

just to talk.

“I’ll forgive you this time but don’t ever let it happen again,” he said wagging his

finger to me.

“I’ll try, but I don’t even know what happened.” I said furrowing my brow.

“You don’t?” he said questioning me. “I was hoping you could tell me why I found

you hurt in the barn.”

“I can’t remember, did I say anything when you found me?” I asked.

“No, not really but I thought I heard you call me Jesse… who’s Jesse?”

“I don’t know, I don’t even know anyone by that name.” I said trying to figure out

who Jesse was.

“Well maybe I was mistaken,” he said as he shrugged his shoulders. “I am just happy

you are here with me.”

“That reminds me, I didn’t think you were coming home this soon.”

“Don’t you remember texting me saying you need me home? That you were in

trouble?”

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 “I did what?” I said trying to remember sending him a message, but nothing came to

me.

“Yeah, you sent me a message, I thought it was a little strange, but I jumped in my

truck and drove straight home to you. It’s a good thing I did; I drove straight to your

place and found you in the fire.”

“How can I ever thank you for that Mike?” I said as I slowly put my hand on his.

“Just let me take you out on that first date soon alright?”

“As soon as I am paroled from here,” I said with a smile. I thought for a moment,

“Mike you said the message was a little strange. Strange how?” I asked.

“Well it was all spelled out, no cute little abbreviations, and it just didn’t sound like

you.” He added.

“I don’t know, I just don’t understand why I can’t remember.”

“Eva, you had a concussion and you were hurt pretty bad,” he explained.

“Speaking of concussion, my head is starting to hurt,” I said squeezing my eyes tightly

closed.

“Eva you rest, I’ll be right here when you wake up,” he said as I heard him sitting

back in the recliner.

I opened my eyes and looked at Mike, “when was the last time you spent the night at

home?”

“Um about eight days ago… but that’s alright. I want to be here with you,” He smiled

weakly.

“Please go home, I will still be here in the morning, so please, for me, go home and

get a good night’s sleep.” I said as I pointed at the door.

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 Mike reluctantly agreed with my demand and bent and kissed me gently on the lips.

“Make sure you don’t run off while I’m gone, you still owe me.” He said tapping my

nose with his finger.

“I promise I won’t… now get the hell out of here, I’m tired.” I said as I smiled.

“Heart and soul Eva, heart and soul.” Mike said as he walked out the door.

I lay in bed with my head thumping. I was trying to figure out the events that led up to

me being here in the hospital. I couldn’t recall anything. I finally gave up when it became

more difficult to concentrate. I was getting groggy. I guess when one sleeps for eight

days it isn’t that easy to stay in the world of the waking people. I decided to succumb to

my dreams.

Dreams… There is something about dreams… I can’t…pull…it …

I spent the next few days recuperating in the hospital. Each day I seemed to get

stronger and stronger. I was sure I would make a full recovery. My leg still hurt and I was

told I would need some physical therapy after I left the hospital but I could tell it was

getting better. What wasn’t getting better was my memory. I tried and tried to recall why

I was in the barn but I couldn’t. I felt that not only did I have a small hole in my memory

where the memory of the barn should have been but that there was an even larger, almost

gaping, hole that was missing. I could run back through my mind the days leading up to

my hospitalization and it all seemed so ordinary, but I could tell something was missing. I

had an almost sad feeling, but could not remember what had made me so sad.

My last day in the hospital I was laying on my bed wrestling with my memory loss

when my Doctor walked in the room, “Are you ready to go home Eva?” He asked

cheerily.

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 “Are you serious? I can go home today?” I asked shocked.

“You sure can.” He said with a smile. “We have set up therapy three times a week for

the next six weeks, stick to that schedule and your leg will be good as new.”

“Anything, I’ll agree to anything as long as you parole me from this place,” I kidded.

“When can I go?” I asked eagerly.

“As soon as you get someone to take you home,” he said as he signed my release

papers with a flourish. Then he turned and walked toward the door.

“Doctor,” I said hesitantly.

He turned and looked at me, “yes Eva?”

“What about my memory? Is it going to be a problem?” I asked half afraid he was

going to tell me it would be permeate.

“Eva,” he said as he came and sat on the chair next to my bed, “we discussed this; the

memory loss is just a safety mechanism that your mind has made for itself. There is a

possibility the memories could come back in minutes or maybe never. But everything is

functioning properly so don’t be alarmed.” He said patting my hand.

“Alright Doctor, thank you.” I said feeling disappointed; I knew there was something

important I was missing.

“I’ll tell the nurses you are getting ready.” He said as he got up and headed for the

door again.

“Thank you again for everything Doc. I’ll call my ride now.”

The Doctor smiled and was out the door. I picked up the phone and called Mike and

told him I was being released if he could come by in about an hour and take me home.

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 Chapter twenty one

Home, I was finally home, I thought to myself as Mike pulled up in front of my little

house.

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 “Thank you for driving me home Mike,” I smiled weakly. The ride home had worn me

out.

“I bet it feels wonderful coming home.” He said a little too enthusiastically.

“I just want to get in my house, crawl into my own bed and go to sleep with Tink

purring in my ear.”

Mike got out of the truck and quickly made it to my door, “Let me help,” he said

reaching up to steady my descent from his truck.

I slid down with a little stab of pain when my leg thumped on the ground “Damn!” I

exclaimed through clenched teeth.

“Put your arm around my shoulder and I will help you in the house.”

“No I can do this on my own, just hand me my crutches.” I said stubbornly.

“No way,” he said as he scooped me up in his strong arms. “I don’t want any

arguments.” He said sternly.

I just looked into his handsome face and said, “No arguments from me, how often

does a gal get a strong handsome man to carry her into her house?”

“Um… I can think of one time… you know, the threshold.” He said as he raised one

eyebrow. “You didn’t give me some of your strong pain medication in the hospital then

trick me into marrying you, did you?” He said chuckling.

I smacked his strong shoulder, “stop it, you know it still hurts when I laugh.”

“I am gonna have to keep my eye on you girl.” He said laughing as he carried me up

the steps and put me on the swing. He unlocked the door and turned to me and bowed

with a flourish, “my lady, your slave is here to carry you to your room.”

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 “Please stop… I don’t want to laugh.” I said as he lifted me again and carried me into

my room.

“I want to be the first to offer my help in changing your clothes or showering,” he said

with and ornery smile and a wink.

“Mike I just want to get in bed and sleep,” I said yawning.

“OK miss party pooper,” he said pouting. “Why don’t you change and I will get you a

bottle of water to keep next to the bed. I’ll feed Tink while I’m out there to give you

enough time to change.” He said as he left the room.

“What a gentleman,” I cooed at him.

Mike left the room and made sure he made enough noise so I would be comfortable

changing. I changed and crawled into bed. Mike returned with a bottle of water and a

peanut butter sandwich in a baggie.

“This is just in case you get hungry before I come back in the morning.”

“You’re coming back in the morning?” I asked.

He crossed the room and sat on the edge of my bed. “Eva I will be here everyday if

you let me.”

“Mike, but… we haven’t even been on a date yet, how do you know that you want to

spend that much time with me?”

He gently touched my face with the back of his hand, “All I know is that this just feels

right.” He kissed me gently on the cheek, “and as long as you want to put up with me I

will be here.”

“Thank you so much Mike,” I said squeezing his hand as I yawned.

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 “I’ll go so you can get some sleep… your crutches and medicines are both next to

you… call if you need anything.”

“I promise,” I said crossing my heart.

“Bye Eva.”

“Bye Mike.”

Mike turned and headed out my bedroom door then turned and said “Heart and soul

Eva, heart and soul.” Then he walked down the hall and out the door. Mike made sure he

closed the door loud enough so I would know he was gone. I looked around my room. It

was so good to be home. Nothing had changed except for the nagging holes in my

memory. Tinkerbelle came trotting into my room and jumped on my bed. She did her

customary head butt, and purred with contentment as she curled up on my bed. I guess at

least she was happy I was home.

“Why did I just think that Tink?” I asked her out loud. Who else here would be happy

that I was home? Home… something just didn’t feel right; this just didn’t feel like home.

What was wrong with me? I moved my leg and got a stab of pain.

“Time for a pill,” I said to Tink. I grabbed my pills and swallowed one, and snuggled

down into my bed.

Why didn’t my home feel right? I feel like someone should be here waiting for me,

but who? Am I missing Keith… no… that’s not it? I just feel… um… empty. I feel like

someone very important to me was no longer in my life. Someone or something was just

beyond my recall. I tried to pull it to the front of my mind for quite a while but I slipped

into pain medicine induced sleep and the memory eluded me.

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 Prologue

Mike and I have spent every day together for the past few months. We have done

everything from physical therapy appointments to what we finally did today. I finally got

an ok from my doctors and Mike took me hiking. We had a wonderful time; I am so

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comfortable with him. I already feel more for him than I ever did with Keith. Tinkerbelle

jumped up on my lap.

“Tink, I think I am falling head over heels for this wonderful, amazing, gorgeous

man.” I said as I picked her up and carried her to the couch. I was exhausted; the hike

took it all out of me ,so I thought I would take a quick nap. I laid down and quickly fell

asleep.

I was in the living room; everything was in shades of sepia.

Mike crossed the room and extended his hand to me, “May I have this dance?”

I took his hand and started dancing. I closed my eyes and placed my head on his chest.

This seemed somehow familiar. I knew I was dreaming, but this seemed so familiar.

“May I cut in?” a voice that was unfamiliar yet familiar asked.

Mike didn’t answer him.

“May I please cut in?” the voice asked again.

I looked in the direction of the voice; it belonged to a tall man with wavy dark hair

and crystal eyes.

“No,” Mike said.

I looked again at the man; something in his face… there was something about him. He

looked so sad. Something about him was pulling at the dark recesses of my mind. He

backed away from us and disappeared into the wall. We continued to dance. I closed my

eyes and felt and odd sensation on my nose. I opened my eyes and Tink was licking me

on the nose.

“What do you want?” I asked Tink.

I rolled over and saw it was after 10 pm my quick nap has lasted three hours.

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 “Now I know what you want, you’re hungry,” I said to Tink

I stopped in the bathroom and did what I had to do then I went to feed Tink in the

kitchen. When I was finished feeding her I walked back to my bedroom. When I entered

the room I saw something on the pillow. I crossed the room and found a necklace. I

picked up the small silver heart shaped locket and turned it over in my hands. I opened

the small heart, and inside was a small faded picture of a man. I looked closer and

gasped; it was the man who was just in my dream. I closed it and held it up to the light.

The intricate carvings sparkled as it spun on the bottom of the chain.

“Jesse.” I whispered… the name just popped into my head… Jesse… a single tear

escaped from the corner of my eye.

“Jesse,” I said a little louder as the holes in my memory slowly started to fill making

me whole again.

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