YOU

ARE A RARE GIFT FRIEND

BY RICHARD B. AJAYI.ksj.

(+2348034707364)

richieajai2002@yahoo.com

Be careful how you live; you will be the only Bible some people ever read. ~William J.
Toms
Do you know you are a rare Gift from God? All the components of your body are free
gifts from Him who created you in His own image. He wants us, you and me and
everybody, to use them for His Glory, to praise Him and appreciate but not to lead others
to Hell fire or scandalize. If not for His love for you, He would have opted for you being
created an animal. Or, with your life and the way you live it, my friend, is it true that God
is regretting creating human Being, even in His own image? If He likes, He withdraws
you His gift from existence. If He likes what you think you flaunt or misuse, He can
withdraw them from you. Masturbation is a sin. It is disrespectful to God who out of His
magnanimity created us in His image! Nudity, pornography, bisexuality, lesbianism and
gayism, all are sins for God sake because “A man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”. (Genesis 2:24) , so asserts the Bible.
Unfortunately, anomaly has crept into marriage ordained by God Himself . The sacredness of
Marriage is, out of man’s excesses and misuse of divine liberty, profaned. Hence, the deviation from
the divine injunction and the thrift of lesbianism, gayism and bisexualism which are at opposing poles
apart with hetero-sexualism”.(Couple of Virtue: Solutions to Marital Problems)

Distraction causing through your body is a sin as well. Whereas our bodies remain ever,
the Temple of God. I love you but God loves us more than anyone. He does not want us
to end up in Hell fire. He does not want you to give Satan His glory. All my being, the
components of my body belong to God who wants me to use them to profit others and
appreciate Him. Life is entrusted to man as a treasure which must not be squandered, as
a talent which must be used well. (Blessed John Paul II).

"You carry your snare everywhere and spread your nets in all places. You allege that
you never invited others to sin. You did not, indeed, by your words, but you have done
so by your dress and your deportment, and much more effectively than you could by
your voice. When you have made another sin in his heart, how can you be innocent? Tell
me, whom does this world condemn? Whom do judges in court punish? Those who
drink poison or those who prepare it and administer the fatal potion? You have prepared
the abominable cup, you have given the death-dealing drink, and you are more criminal
than are those who poison the body; you murder not the body, but the soul. And it is not
to enemies that you do this, nor are you urged on by any imaginary necessity,
nor provoked by injury, but out of foolish vanity and pride." (Saint John Chrysostom).

It is never too late for you to change for better. May God help your thoughts on this
Message and may you be blessed in abundance. Sorry if you think I am infringing on
your Rights, though nobody has any Rights before God. Through His benevolence, we
are just privileged. Let us CHANGE for better. Shalom!

Examination of Conscience: Do I realize God created me because of the love He had for
me? Have I been boastful of my handsomeness, beauty and talents as if they all belong
to me? Do I use all, in praising Him, who has created us to worship Him, to serve Him
and to adore Him? How reasonable will I be when I engage in pornography,
masturbation, homosexuality, lesbianism, bisexuality, nudity and seductive acts that
could draw others to sin and get them scandalized?

Resolution: I realize that leading people to sinful acts is sin against God himself, I need
to change and straighten my relationship with Him who has endowed me with Life. I
must be good exemplary rather than a bad tool of scandal. I must be sincere to myself,
to my neighbours and to God especially when alone and when being tempted to indulge
in acts that could be disrespectful and ungrateful to God.

Offering: God our Father, bless my eyes and prevent them from looking at those things
that could draw me to sins. Bless my tongues to bless rather than curse. Bless my ears
to hear good tidings that will draw me closer to you and win Heavenly Kingdom for me
rather than hearing dirty, vulgar words. Bless my thoughts to be familiar to you rather
than thinking of devious manipulations that could draw one to perpetual damnation. I
ask all these in the unfailing name of Jesus. Amen.

SEX MORE THAN PLEASURE BUT A COVENANT, BEWARE!

What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be
one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a
man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye
have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in
your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.(1 Cor. 6:16)But I say unto you, That whosoever
looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
(Mathew 5:28)
Sex has remained ever, a divine gift only when normally employed according to God’s
injunction. It is more than casual thing. Unlike what many people think, it is not just an act. It is
not just a matter of pleasure. Sex is spiritual and as well a covenant. Sex is binding on both
parties involved . Whatever the world, the society, the devil and friends must have said to you
about sex, and whatever you might have heard and seen about it, know one thing today: there
is a blood covenant that is shared during sex. It is spiritual but most people are lustfully
blindfolded and are not therefore aware of it. When you go to bed, sleeping with anyone, you
are bonded and a covenant is entered into unknowingly. If you sleep with a demon-possessed
or cursed person, you have share in demonic family and that curse . If yousleep with
someone who belongs to any occultic world, you become initiated automatically and the seal
of occultic membership is imprinted on your life. The occultic kingdom will begin to act in your
life, with or without your consent remotely controlled. Occultic membership has no definite
prerequisite age limit. Even teenagers are known to be occultic. So, the matter does not in any
way restricted to only men and women who are 40years old and above alone. It is thus
important you watch whom you give your body to. It is not just about sex. Destinies are
switched and upturned; lives are cut short; people become wayward; the prosperous become
spiritually impoverished; the head becomes the tail - all because of fleeting pleasure. People
are not as harmless as they look. And Sex is not as safe as it is being made to look. The
spiritual consequences of illicit sex or sex out of wedlock are more damning than physical
consequences such as AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Never be fooled by
looks, appearance, material gratification and temporary pleasure. Refuse to be engrossed by
beauty and handsomeness because the devil used these as baits. Sex is a serious matter that
can either make or mar individuals. The devil is on rampage . Beware of casual senseless sex!

SACREDNESS OF HUMAN LIFE

By Sir Richard B. Ajayi,ksj
(+2348034707364)

richieajai2002@yahoo.com

Human life is valuable and therefore sacred. No human has ever formed or created any human
being in another human being. God has never delegated this to any person born by a human
being. He preoccupies Himself solely with the work of creation. He knows why you and I should
come to this world. Our coming to the world is therefore attached with a purpose for individuals.
He knows when to fulfill His creation in any Human Being. Joachim and Anna, the parents of
Mary, the Blessed Virgin and Mother of Jesus stayed for twenty years before Mary was conceived.

Sarah was barren till her 80th year of existence and eventually, she conceived Isaac at the appointed
time. Rachel, also mentioned in the Scripture had long barrenness before Joseph was born. Mothers of
both Samson and Samuel were also barren and God eventually heard their cries with the gifts of the
fruits of the womb.

They waited on the Lord and when God answered them, they did not terminate the lives of their
respective children during conception in form of abortion. The children, Jesus born by Mary, Isaac,
Samson and Samuel later became great in human existence. Pertinent is the fact that there is still that
belief that conceptions very late in life, and births in the case of women that have been barren are usually
attended with something wonderful.
Not far distance was the story of a couple in Poland. The wife of this man got pregnant and eventually
the woman became very sick. She was sick to the extent that when she was rushed to the hospital, the
Doctor told her she did not have the strength to carry the pregnancy and therefore, an abortion would
have to be carried out on her. But the couple refused that they should do away with the pregnancy for the
survival of the wife. They eventually left the hospital with faith that God would intervene. In sickness,
she eventually delivered the baby safely and she afterall got healed as well. They nurtured the baby, sent
him to school and made him a man through their faith in, and cooperation with God. This baby who was
to be aborted then, later became the revered Pope John Paul II, who is now in the course of being made
a Saint after he died in April 2005!
Abortion is rampant today and any reasonable Being will normally frown at it. The Catholic Church
opposes abortion because she believes that life is sacred and inviolable. The Orthodox Churches forbid
abortion as going against the commandment 'Thou shall not kill'. The Russian Orthodox Church
condemned abortion in its document The Church and the Nation published in 2000. Many Protestant
and Evangelical Christians are against abortion. Even Islam acknowledges that life begins at conception
and is created by God. The unborn child has certain rights such as the right to care, protection and life.
Abortion on any grounds is forbidden in the Islamic holy book Al'Quran. "Do not kill or take a human
life which God has declared to be sacred." (Chapter 6,verse 151). The Torah or Jewish law forbids the
taking of innocent life and teaches that human beings are made in the image of God. Maimonides, a
twelfth century interpreter of Jewish law declared: "A descendent of Noah who kills any human being,
even a foetus in its mother's womb, is to be put to death."

Describing the development of an unborn baby, Psalm 139 says: "For you created my inmost being,
you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I
was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my
unformed body." According to one of the earliest Christian writings, the Didache or the Teaching of the
Twelve Apostles "You shall not kill the child in the womb or murder a new-born infant."

There is life in Foetus. Foetus is not an animal but a young human being coming to life through
growth in his or her mother. In the Luke's Gospel, Jesus and John the Baptist greeted one
another while they were still in the wombs of their mothers, Mary and Elizabeth. Luke Chapter 1
Verse 41 says: "It happened, when Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in
her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit." Do you still think the so called
Foetus is irrelevant even with this Biblical record?
AN SMS FROM AN UNBORN BABY TO THE MOTHER.

Hi Mum, how are you? I am doing fine here . How is Dad? Love to you all. Thanks.
Only a few days have gone by since I was conceived. Thanks to you Mummy and Daddy
for cooperating with God, and I am now growing well in you.
Wow Mummy, I do not know how to express my happiness to know that you are my
Mum.
 It makes me happier Mum, to know that I was conceived out of love between you and
Dad.
I am sure you will give me this love and I am going to be the happiest baby alive.
(AFTER 1 MONTH) Mum, a month has just gone past and I have started to notice how
my body is forming. I know I am not much to look at now but just wait and see I’ll make
you so proud! Hope you are really preparing for my arrival? I love to open my eyes and
see you and Daddy one day. I am just feeling happy. But I sense something is wrong the
way you are so dull. Be happy Mum…
You seem to be having strange thoughts that leave you restless and worried, but I am sure
everything is going to be okay! Don’t despair.
(AFTER 2 ½ MONTHS)(Happy) Two and a half months have gone by Mum, I now have
hands that I can use to play with. Oh, I am so happy Mum.
Haha Mum! Please tell me what is wrong. Why are you crying all through and so much
lately?
I noticed you and Dad had misunderstanding. Why are you and Dad arguing every time
you meet up with one another? Iron things out with Dad, Mum and show me love.
Don’t you people want me any more? I’m going to do everything I can to make you want
me and to make you proud when I arrive.
(AT THREE MONTHS) Three months have now passed Mum. You still seem to be so
distressed. What is the matter? Put it before God Mum. I am not sure what is going on . I
am so confused and you refuse to open up to me Mum.
Today, I noticed that we went to see a Doctor and he booked an appointment for you
tomorrow. Are you sick?
I do not know why I am feeling so good and elated and you aren’t Mum!
(Following day) Where are we going Mum? What is happening? Tell me now.
Mummy, this is not the time you normally have your Siesta to take afternoon nap, do not
lie down on your back. But even, I did not complain to you I am tired. I want to play with
you.
Uh!!! This is an uninvited visitor.( Scissors and Forceps, one at a time) This is strange to
me. What is this thing doing in my house?
Mummy is this a toy you bought for me?
Hey, it is tearing my house Mum…
(Crying) Mummy! Mummy!! Mummy!!! Won’t you answer me? Don’t you love me
again? Stop these intruders. Stop them, they are injuring me. That is my hand.
Please, stop hitting me, you are hurting me. What is my sin? You asked for me. See me
bleeding. Mum, help. Call Daddy to help.
Defend me Mum, call Daddy to assist you to defend me. Heeeeelp!
Can you not see me, I’m still small. I can not defend myself. What have I done to deserve
this? Please protect me.
Mum, my leg, they are cutting it off. What will I use to walk when I come?
Tell them to stop. I promise I’ll stop kicking them if they do.
How is it possible a human being can be doing this to me?
Oh, Mummy, I am weak. I can not go on any more. Heeeelp me.
(Looking up to Heaven) Oh God, I am coming back to you. Into Thy hands O Lord I commend
my Spirit. (And Junior, agonizing, gave up the ghost)
17 YEARS AFTER

As the Mum remembers while the conscience worries her….

The Baby, now in Heaven noticed and says:

Please do not cry Mum, remember that I love you and God loves you more. I’ll be
waiting for you with open arms. Just pray for forgiveness. I remain Innocently
unblemished and I pray for you for total conversion. God is ready to forgive you.

Your Baby.

Brethren, help save Lives. Preach against abortion. Say YES to LIFE

NO to ABORTION.
 May God Bless Us all.

ABORTION
Date: Year of the Lord

Dear Mum,
A LETTER FROM AN ABORTED CHILD

Calvary Greetings. I have decided to talk to you, to let you know my feelings
through this medium. I want to know why you did it. My story is short. I have
stayed inside you for only three months. While I was in you as God placed me
there, I was very comfortable and warm. I felt really protected, thinking you
would cooperate with God in His creation. I know you are a special person
because I ate the food you ate. I shared your blood and I was divinely
connected to you before the violent separation.
Mummy, I longed for the day I would see your face. Nine months was a long
time to wait, but I
was determined to wait and I remained gentle and persevering. I had to be
patient. One day I heard you converse with a man about me, and at some stage
you quarreled. The man then offered you some money to get rid of me. You
thought I did not see you but my Guardian Angel, who God assigned to me
showed me and related everything to me through divine connection. I was
happy and I prayed that this meant that I would at least see you, the only
person that I knew in the world. Alas! I was wrong.
Though you kept me in suspense that I had almost forgotten the issues until I
felt something sharp pierced my tiny ear. I jerked silently and in pain, and
asked you to protect me. Seconds later the object came, fiercer than before.
“Oh! My God! ”, I said painfully. My tiny being was cut off, starting from the
ears, then arms and legs. It was an agonizing experience, my head was then
cut off and I died.

It took me a whole hour to die, a whole hour for an innocent three months
Human Being to be dastardly murdered. I remember the whole incidence
vividly and I keep asking myself even till now what I did to deserve that cruel
death? Why me, an unblemished Innocent ? Why did you do it to me? And
why was I not given a chance to live?
I know you are having a lot of nightmares. You remain guilty for the beastly
act. Though I have forgiven you, please you have to explain to your God why
you committed the heinous act. I knew you could not create, still, with your
accomplice, you cut my life short and prevented me from coming into the
world. Were you to have been treated that manner, you would not have come
to the world as well. But with this sin, you have murdered sleep as this act
would hunt you for life.

Personally I have forgiven you though physically, I never lived to see your
face. My
journey back to my creator was safe and I arrived safely, reporting that I was
not welcome by you . However, I was given a red carpet welcome by an
Angel. I am infact, without bitterness.
I still love you mum and I keep praying for you for a change of heart for you
to see Beings like me as divine Gifts from God to those He loves.
But the question is: Do you support Abortion???
Thanks Mama
Your child,
INNOCENT.

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: A TOOL FOR
FAMILY STABILITY
By Richard B. Ajayi

Sharing of ideas and information and passing of messages

through interactive means is Communication .
Communication would be meaningless if it is only dependent
on oneself rather than with at least another person at a
particular time. It is a tool of human relations and interactions
and the family is not left out.
Even when being used with another person or group, it must
be clear, understandable, concise, unambiguous and
unaffected by infiltration of any extraneous factor such as
noise and distraction among others. Because it is a process,
abrupt cut while talking renders effective communication
meaningless. Apart from this one which is called Verbal
Communication, there is also the use of writing as a means of
communication, there are nonverbal communications where
gestures, facial expressions and body language are used to
pass messages; there are also Visual Communication (
painting and photography) and Electronic Communication
(telephone calls, electronic mails, cable television and so on).
In Communication which is a process therefore, there should
be Encoder (Sender of the message), the Message, the
medium, the Decoder (Receiver of the message) and the
Feedback.
Encoder Medium Decoder
Feedback

It is pertinent however that, effective communication takes

place among humans with coherence and proper
dependence. It existed in the family so often . How it is
handled in the family is another question. The family seems to
have lost control of its responsibility. It is Tripod in nature and
it is Trinitarian in the way God Himself had made it.
Nowadays, the family has taken gains in enthroning
immorality among itself.
Whereas, the family remains the miniature Mystical Body of
Christ where the Father is the Head, the Representative of
God. He is preoccupied with the task of creating, providing,
sustaining, loving, protecting and strengthening those put
under his care. Doing all these is passing positive message of
responsibility to other members of the family.
When he becomes only a provider of material needs of the
family, irresponsible in his duty to correct with love, and selfish
in nature through ambition for personal glory at the expense
of those divinely entrusted to his care, then the family loses
control of itself.
And the Mother remains the Heart of the family. She has the
role of reconciling in time of trouble and crises. She is
understanding and compassionate during the periods of pain
and anguish; sensitive to human needs. The affectionate
nature of woman makes her the Love in the family and that
Love remains the rallying point. The Woman is a special
Creation of God as the harbinger of spirit of sacrifice, self-
control, gentleness, beauty, intuition, love, understanding and
patience. When a woman becomes demanding, determined,
self-sufficient, domineering, arrogant, protective, secretive,
quarrelsome, communication that is effective becomes
negatively affected and elusive while the beautiful balance
necessary in a peaceful home is destroyed. She is to
complement man but when she destroys the balance, the
family becomes a mockery and an absurd theatre where
tragi-comedy in contrast to Home is dramatized even to the
view of the children.
The fruits of love of two people of different backgrounds
joined together by God are the Children. They have the roles
of learning, sharing, enjoying, obeying, caring and
experiencing the love of God through their parents. When
children become the Head of the Family through
disobedience or selfishness even when the parents are still
healthy and non-incapacitated, the children no longer function
as healthy members and this affect mutual communication in
the family. Darkness takes over from light then and the
darkness of fear and confusion enters the family.
In any family where each member exchanges his or her role
for another one not divinely bestowed, with total deviation
from God’s plan, then a modern Tower of Babel where there
are hues and cries, confusion and deviation, is being
constructed. In such situation when effective communication
that could have stabilized the family becomes a ghost, chaos
and anarchy with eventual doom for that family is imminent.
Where then is the understanding to allow peace to reign in the
family? What message will a domineering mother and a
nagging father pass to the pitiable over-pampered children to
allow stable family?
It is unfortunate that today, the beauty of Holy Family where
Jesus, Mary and Joseph are Models is raptured and no more
in existence. Parents do not have time for their children again
and a thief in the name of Modernisation has robed families of
values attached to life in the days of old. Family indolence,
spiritual languor and parental laziness have taken over the
lives of parents to the extent that informal education which
used to be the foundation on which the development of a child
rests had been replaced with early formal education out of
nonchalance and negligence. Whereas between the period of
birth of a child till the seventh year of birth, the family is
supposed to be responsible for the teaching of the child,
through basic communication , to know what is wrong from
what is right before other influences set in. As a maxim says
“When the mother-goat chews grasses, the baby-goat
learns by looking at the mouth of the mother-goat”. A
child is supposed to be the reflection of the parents. The
Parental Care for the child with the school should be
collaborative but with due respect for the limitations. “Train
up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he
will not depart from it” Proverbs 22: 6. For this to happen,
effective communication is the tool of developing a child.
WHERE THERE IS NO EFFECTIVE
COMMUNICATION
The grasses suffer where two elephants fight. Ineffective
communication in the family fuels anarchy and encourages
broken homes and this negatively affects the children who are
just starting life. There are inexhaustible parallel lines in the
home where communication has dangerously broken down.
When everybody goes his or her own way under same roof,
one is indirectly preparing a keg of gun powder that could be
catastrophic.
Immorality takes charge in such family and values which have
become evasive to members of the family are aberration. In
such situation, loafers and opportunists seize the opportunity
and infiltrate. Haven’t we seen mothers befriending same men
with their daughters? Haven’t we seen or heard of girls
sleeping with girls or boys sleeping with boys? Haven’t they
been marrying each other as against the Biblical injunction in
Genesis 2: 24- “A man leaves his father and mother and
cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh” and
Mathew 19: 6- “So they are no longer two but one flesh .
What, therefore, God has joined together, let no man put
asunder”.
Is it not even crazy of human beings when men sleep with
men and girls sleep with girls when we have never seen a
she-goat mating with a she-goat and a male horse having sex
with a male horse? It is because of the fact that many parents
have shirked in their parental responsibilities.

STRENGTHENING COMMUNICATION IN THE

FAMILY
Communication should be alive in the family. Positive
employment of it helps build the future of the children and
makes the environment they find themselves conducive and
welcoming. Positive words rather than vulgar and derogatory
ones make the Home a stable place. There should not be cat
and mouse relationship in the family if there should be
effective communication and stable Home.
For effective communication to thrive well in the family the
wife who is the Mother and the Heart of the family should see
her partner, who is her Spouse, as her FRIEND. The best
friend she will ever have, but with all honesty. That friend who
stands by her always and is ready to sacrifice self for her to
live. That friend who walks in when the rest of the world
walks out, he would always be there for one when he could
be somewhere else. He knows the right song in one’s heart
and would sing it back to one when one has forgotten the
worlds. That friend in times of need would love to walk extra
miles for one. He would want to rub off the tears rolling down
her cheeks in times of troubles and downcast. He would
neither walk in her front nor behind , but taking same steps
beside one to have similar experience, feelings and pains with
one. He would be caring because one has been caring,
submissive, cooperating, generous, respective and non-
domineering. Give all to have all his LOVE.
When Peace is in a Home, it is the resultant effect of mutual
understanding in such environment. It is the parents, the
husband and wife who can nurture this in order for the
children to benefit from such and spread the love that will
germinate from there to others. Basically, coming together of
two people as husband and wife is premised on Love, mutual
one. Then Peace and others to make the environment serene
more would come in. Therefore, an atmosphere where
informality is always in most of the things done should be
encouraged. With informality in the Home, everybody is free
with each other because of the Love and Peace found in such
home.
In this regard, It is suggestive therefore that all the types of
communications, verbal, non-verbal, visual and electronic
should be harnessed and employed by the family if the family
would be made to be stable.
With the coming together of a man and a woman as a family,
the use of language changes for individuals involved from ‘I’to
‘WE’; ‘MY’to ‘OUR’; and ‘YOU’to ‘US’. The togetherness
started even before having children is a means to buoy
effective communication and stabilize the family. This
togetherness should therefore be allowed to be spread over
everything in the Home. The family should always pray
together, play together, share ideas together without complex,
stroll together, talk together, walk together, work together,
think together and share secret together.
Doing the following is energizing effective communication in
the family: patting, hugging, creating humours and banters,
presenting gifts of surprise to each other, having sex together
as married husband and wife without cohesion and
selfishness, watching television together and raising
discussion, appreciating the beauty and handsomeness in
each other and being able to say either in the bedroom or in
the public ‘I LOVE YOU’.

EFFICIENT QUALITY AND COST EFFECTIVE DIAGNOSIS

IN MODERN HEALTH PRACTICES
By
Richard Babatunde Ajayi (+2348034707364)
richieajai2002@yahoo.com

INTRODUCTION

Successful health services to the public requires collaboration of

all the stakeholders who embrace care-giving as their vocation.
Health Service is a vocation that calls for unalloyed commitment
and total dedication of every sector that forms the Health Centre
or the Hospital as the case may be. Every department is relevant
and services rendered must therefore be complementary and
systemic as a result of the interwoven nature . Team spirit and
mutual interpersonal-relationship are therefore salient to
achieving the corporate or organisational goal of the Centre. No
individual in an organisation therefore acts on his own without
relating to others if customers’ needs would have to be met. It
suffices therefore to say that an individual’s behaviour depends
upon the presence or absence of other persons and upon the
nature of reactions of those other persons.
For any organisation to be said to have achieved the corporate
goal therefore, the objectives must have been met especially as
they relate to the satisfaction of the customers and the clients
patronizing such organisation. This cannot be met by a single
worker but through the cooperation, team work, interpersonal
relationship where each person performs his duties as expected
according to his field of specialization. It is pertinent as the case
may be, that proper planning , sourcing for both human and
material resources, location, implementation, control and
evaluation, intelligence and feedback and some other vital factors
that would move the organisation forward are not waived aside.
The modern health practices require that every practitioner should
be on his toes with the technological transformation taking over
from the traditional ways of doing things before. The society is
changing and health practitioners have to move with time even in
the face of keen competition and sequel to the quests from
various quarters for their services. The modern health practices
are automated and Care givers have to be malleable to the tune of
the time to make things easier, hasten diagnoses, give correct and
exact flaw-less results and so on.

EFFICIENCY AND COST-EFFECTIVENESS

Health Practice has devotion to life saving where issues are
expected to be promptly addressed correctly without avoidable
flaws, taken seriously, for both parties, the Health Service
Provider and the Customers or Clients to mutually have beneficial
relationship. However, efficiency requires promptness in doing
something well – error-free, thoroughly without wasting time,
money or unnecessary dissipation of energy. Efficiency requires
hardwork, discipline, commitment, adherence to rules and
regulations, desire to fulfil the customers’ needs without
inhibition.
And for the service being rendered to be cost-effective, the
economic aspect is key to the customers, the clients and even the
management because wastage is abhorred and standard is key
and time is key. Hence, Cost Effectiveness Analysis is one of a
number of techniques of economic evaluation, where the choice
of technique depends on the nature of benefits specified. In other
words, Cost-effectiveness analysis compares the costs and health
effects of an intervention to assess the extent to which it can be
regarded as providing value for money. This informs decision-
makers who have to determine where to allocate limited
healthcare resources. How justifiable and commensurate is the
service rendered with the money paid? . How effective are the
services rendered when compared with the cost? Is the cost scary
or welcoming? Are the results of tests done accurate,
unambiguous and clear? Are those steps used in analyzing the
specimen collected not faulty? Are the equipment purchased even
at high cost for the purpose of running various tests judiciously
used, serviced or maintained? However, Cost-effectiveness ratios
should be related to the size of relevant budgets to determine the
most cost-effective strategies.

But speaking about cost itself, in economics the notion of cost is
based on the value that would be gained from using resources
elsewhere –referred to as the opportunity cost. In other words,
resources used in one programme are not available for use in
other programmes, and, as a result, the benefits that would have
been derived have been sacrificed. Back to our discourse hear,
the value derivable from the tests paid for is key to the standard
and quality of our services. Passivity to efficiency and general
effectiveness in the Health practices is detrimental to
sustainability.

RELEVANCE OF DIAGNOSTIC SECTION IN THE HOSPITAL SETUP

Diagnosis discovers or identifies the exact cause of an illness
or a problem. It is useful to medical practitioners to really know
the exact problem of a patient in order to find solution to the
problem discovered. It is as well germane to the patient because
his problem is promptly identified through diagnosis, and he is
saved from unnecessary guesses that could snuff life out of him if
not properly and promptly addressed. For the Laboratory to come
out with correct result therefore , there is need to let the analysis
be handled by those specially trained in the area. Hence, in a
Multipurpose laboratory and according to the requirement by the
Medical Laboratory Science Council of Nigeria, the body that
registers, inspects and monitors Medical Laboratories, the
minimum staffing of a laboratory requires that at least one person
not below the rank of Medical Laboratory Scientist must head the
laboratory where there should be as well Medical Laboratory
Technicians and Medical Laboratory Assistants. Both the Medical
Laboratory Scientists and Technicians must be duly licensed,
registered and be updated through their attendance at meetings
of the Council in the State.
The medical laboratory is the backbone of any Health Centre or
Hospital. It helps find solutions to the problems of the patients. It
is the area that helps the centre to fulfil its financial obligations
because of the huge income that could accrue if the quality and
standard are maintained. With proper laboratory equipment put in
place, where staff are trained and re-trained and where
appropriate personnel are employed, purchase of relevant
reagents and materials needed made, and control from the
management exists, the efficiency is already in place and financial
losses are prevented.
MAINTENANCE OF STANDARD AND CONTROL IN A
LABORATORY
If we must succeed in our endeavours and places of work, our
conscience must be alive, sustained with honesty and maintained
with commitment and principle not to compromise standard, truth,
and all that are morally justified even in the face of avalanche of
unsolicited gratification from those who may want to buy their
ways out. Our interest for the job to render services should be
seen as vocation and this should buoy our resolve not to put our
conscience on the shelf.
Notwithstanding this, many factors could lead to staff attrition in
the Diagnostic section of the hospital setup. These include lack of
adequate motivation; bad management and policies; lack of
training and so on. These should be curbed through some salient
interventions. Staff attrition disrupts smoothness in the
operations of the Laboratory. Appropriate licensed staff are
relevant to accurate and correct result promptly given the
customer at a particular time. It is a misnomer and misplacement
of priority to employ somebody other than a licensed medical
laboratory Scientist to head a laboratory. The laboratory itself
must be registered and this registration is renewable annually.
To maintain standard, the reagents and materials must be of
quality and be original. They must not be expired reagents and the
equipment used must not be obsolete . The machines in this
laboratory must be serviced from time to time or else, the result
becomes faulty. Proper control should be employed while
running some of these tests in order to confirm a particular result
especially when in doubt before being released. The machines
used in running the tests must be calibrated from time to time.
If the standard must be maintained, there will be need for the
laboratory through the management to make sure the reagents to
be purchased are bought in bulk, taking into consideration the
rate of usage, the expiry date on them and cost effectiveness
where customers satisfaction is paramount. This is part of cost
control if the Hospital must succeed.
However, it should be known that the patient is a customer and
confidentiality of his sealed result must be maintained without
divulging the result to no person other than the medical doctor
who has directed that the patient should go for the test by
handing the result to him by the patient himself.
In the situation where the customer comes for laboratory
investigation by himself, he should be allowed to make decisions
on themselves as per what tests they want to do and what to do
with the result when released. It is not the duty of the Laboratory
Attendants to explain the results to customers, rather, allow the
results be taken to the medical doctor who has been handling the
patient’s health case. This would forestall self medication and the
danger inherent in it.
In standardizing and controlling the laboratory services, proper
registration, recording and formalization of the customers’ tests
must be made, results duly signed and stamped and such result
be verified as well, when analysed by a superior person in the
laboratory other than the Laboratory Scientist.
On no account should any intruder not relevant at all to the
operations in the laboratory and children be allowed in the
laboratory. Non-adherence encourages disruption in the running
of the tests, leading to distortion and infection comes in easily.
The people working in the laboratory must be consistent and
focussed putting away any distraction resulting from
disagreement or any bad happening before entering the
laboratory to run tests. The Laboratory personnel must be in
their laboratory uniform always, while putting on their gloves and
other protections that could help them in carrying out their
functions appropriately. Safety is a continuing concern for
laboratory staff at all levels who work with specimens. There is
need for a combination of training and education to help promote
risk assessment and safe practices, and also to support
reasonable safety improvements with respect to equipment,
supplies and facilities.
SUSTENANCE OF EFFECTIVE DIAGNOSTIC CENTRE IN
RELATION TO CUSTOMERS
The customer wants justification for the money he is paying on
any test run or any other services he has asked for in the hospital
environment. He wants GOOD SERVICE through satisfaction he
could realize from the services rendered to him. CUSTOMER
SATISFACTION leads to HIGH CUSTOMER RETENTION, this leads
to HIGH PROFIT MARGIN and this as well leads to EMPLOYEE
SATISFACTION and later LOW EMPLOYEE TURNOVER where
there is no staff attrition.
Patients and customers are likely coming to the hospital
environment or diagnostic centre sequel to one health issue or
the other. Different behaviours then feature but these would have
to be addressed maturely to the gains of the Organisation. What
then do the patients and customers really want or expect? For
them to be sustained and maintained there is need for these:
Reliability : expectations are high that what patients
bring as problem would be solved with reliable, error-
free service.
Satisfaction: How do we work to let patients/customers
derive utility and getting them fulfilled?
Confidence: How much confidence and trust do
customers have in us in respecting their secret?
Attention: How do we listen and concentrate to the
customers, or do we pretend?
Need Fulfilment: How well do we meet up with special
requests?
Time (TQM): How promptly do we respond to requests?
Time Quality Management.
Quality: How good are the services provided?
Durable?
Uniqueness: How excellent is the appearance of the
 services being given our patients/customers?
Courtesy: How polite are we to customers and people
generally physically?
Error – Free: How often do we do things right the first
time, are we receptive to admitting faults?
Delivery: How well do we deliver what
patients/customers are promised?
Accessibility: How readily do we make our services and
ourselves available?
Credibility: Do we have good name that could be
believed in personalized services?
Responsiveness: What is our attitude to our environment
in terms of relations?
Competence: Are we knowledgeable and updated about
our services?
Value: What could be enjoyed as utility in our services to
customers?
Prestige: What status could our services bestow on the
customers and our hospital?
Guarantees: Is there any promise to make good any
defect found in any service to customer?
Privacy: Do we respect the person of the customer when
it comes to personal affairs?
Comfort: Can our services create joy and happiness in
the customer?

IMMODEST DRESSING : A SLIGHT ON GOD

by Richard B. Ajayi. (+2348034707364)
richieajai2002@yahoo.com

The road to hell is broad . Many human beings in the name of

vogue, craze to walk the road. How narrow is the gate and
straight is the way that leadeth to life, and few there are
who find it! (Matt. 7:13-14)
Sinful life is sweet and enjoyable but it is a sure way to
perdition. Our attitudes to God nowadays are negative and
insulting to God. Is it the sagging or the painting of faces? Is it
the skin bleaching or tattooing? Is it the body exposition or
sexual immorality where sex between men; or sex between
women we want to mention? Or the nudity and seductive
walks and intentional body bouncing we want to talk about?
Modesty could not be sinful if human beings indulge in it.
Indecent dressings are nowadays not restrictive to women,
though it is common among women. "In like manner I wish
women to be decently dressed, adorning themselves with
modesty and dignity, not with braided hair or gold or
pearls or costly clothing, but with good works, such as
become women professing Godliness." (1 Tim. 2:9-10)
Blessed Virgin Mary, our Mother is an epitome of decency and
modesty. Going through her different pictures, never could
one find her with scanty dress. Our Sorrowful and
Immaculate Mother, who in all her apparitions is fully
covered, is presented by her divine Son to us as the
perfect model of modesty and purity. She is terribly
saddened by the immodest and impure conduct so prevalent
in our society. Our Lord speaks to us through His Blessed
Mother in condemning the modern trends of
uncovering the body. The manner one dresses most at times
speaks more of one to people about who one is. The result is
the ways and manners with which people inter-relate with
one. The Saints of the Church were people of modesty, men
or women. Many of them embraced chastity, humility,
decency even to the point of death. Education of the child in
the area of modesty is the preoccupation of the mothers and
should therefore be promoted by mothers in their children
from early infancy.
Pope Pius XII warned: "O Christian mothers, if you knew
what a future of anxieties and perils, of ill-guarded shame
you prepare for your sons and daughters, imprudently
getting them accustomed to live scantily dressed and
making them lose the sense of modesty, you would be
ashamed of yourselves and you would dread the harm
you are making for yourselves, the harm which you are
causing these children, whom Heaven has entrusted to
you to be brought up as Christians."

"We lament, too, the destruction of purity among women
and young girls as is evidenced by the increasing
immodesty of their dress and conversation and by their
participation in shameful dances."Pope Pius XI .
"Girls and women dressed immodestly are to be debarred
from Holy Communion and from acting as sponsors at
the Sacraments of Baptism and Confirmation; further, if
the offense be extreme, they may even be forbidden to
enter the church." Decree of the Congregation of the
Council (by the
mandate of Pope Pius XI) ,1930A.D.

"Do not love the world, or the things that are in the world.
If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in
him; because all that is in the world is the lust of the
flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life; which
is not from the Father, but from the world. And the world
with its lust is passing away but he who does the will of
God abides forever." (1 St. John 2:15, 17)
In 1920, Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to little ten-year-old
Jacinta of Fatima while she was dying in a hospital in Lisbon,
Portugal saying: "Certain fashions will be introduced
which will offend Our Divine Lord very much. Those who
serve God ought not to follow these fashions. Our Lord is
always the same." She also revealed to Jacinta that "the
sins that lead most souls to hell are the
sins of the flesh."

"The Church is the house of God. It is forbidden for men
to enter with bare arms or in shorts. It is forbidden for
women to enter in trousers, without a veil on their head,
in short clothing, low necklines, sleeveless or immodest
dresses." Saint Padre Pio

"A dress cannot be called decent which is cut deeper

than two fingers breadth under the pit of the throat;
which does not cover the arms at least to the elbows; and
scarcely reaches a bit beyond the knees. Furthermore,
dresses of transparent materials are improper." The
Cardinal Vicar of Pope Pius XI

"A mortal sin of scandal is committed by women who go
about with their bosom immodestly exposed, or who
expose their limbs improperly. Also by actors in
immodest comedies, and still more by the persons who
compose such comedies; also by painters who paint
obscene pictures, and by the heads of families who keep
such pictures in their houses. The father who speaks
obscenely, or blasphemes the saints, in presence of his
children, and the mother who brings into her house to
live among her daughters young men who are in love
with them, or betrothed to them, or other suspected
persons, are guilty of a still more grievous sin of scandal.
Some mothers say: do not suspect any evil. I answer, that
it is their duty to suspect; otherwise they will have to
render to God an account of all the sins which may
follow.

Woe to that man by whom the scandal cometh. Listen to

a horrible thing that happened in the city of Savona in the
year 1560. I have read it in the chronicles of the
Capuchins, and it is also related by Father Ardia. There
was a woman who, even after marriage, did not cease
giving scandal. This woman one day fell into a fit, and
while she was in a state of unconsciousness, she saw the
Lord condemning her to eternal fire. When she recovered
the use of her senses, she did nothing but cry out, "Alas!
I am damned, I am damned!" A confessor came to
comfort her, but she answered, "What have I to do with
confession? I am damned." Then her daughter
approached the bed, in order to encourage her, but she
cried out: "Ah, accursed child! on your account, too, I am
damned: for through you I have given scandal to others."
After these words the devils, in presence of all who were
in the apartment, raised her up to the ceiling, and then
dashed her so violently against the floor that she
instantly expired." Saint Alphonsus Maria de Liguori

"The body should be bedecked naturally and without

affectation, with simplicity, with neglect rather than
nicety, not with costly and dazzling apparel, but with
ordinary clothes, so that nothing be lacking to honesty
and necessity, yet nothing be added to increase its
beauty." Saint Ambrose of Milan

"Whatever is born is the work of God. So whatever is

plastered on, is the devil’s work…. How unworthy of the
Christian name it is to wear a fictitious face — you on
whom simplicity in every form is enjoined! You, to whom
lying with the tongue is not lawful, are lying in
appearance."
Tertullian of Carthage

"If you desire to be one of the faithful and to please the

Lord, O wife, do not add adornments to your beauty, in
order to please other men. Do not wear fine embroidery,
garments, or shoes, to entice those who are allured by
such things. It may be that you do not do these wicked
things for the purpose of sinning yourself — but only for
the sake of adornment and beauty. Nevertheless, you still
will not escape future punishment for having compelled
another to look so close at you as to lust after you."
Apostolic Constitutions

"To dye oneself with paints in order to have a rosier or a

paler complexion is a lying counterfeit."
Saint Augustine of Hippo

"Moreover, know that just as all mortal sins are very

serious, so too a venial sin is made mortal if a human
being delights in it with the intention of persevering.

Wherefore, know that two sins, which I now name to you,

are being practiced and that they draw after them other
sins that all seem as if venial.

But because the people delight in them with the intention

of persevering, they are therefore made mortal. . .
The first of the two sins is that the faces of rational
human creatures are being painted with the various
colors with which insensible images and statues of idols
are colored so that to others, these faces may seem more
beautiful than I made them.
The second sin is that the bodies of men and women are
being deformed from their natural state by the unseemly
forms of clothing that the people are using."
Our Lord Jesus Christ, The Revelations of Saint Bridget
of Sweden

"You have heard that it was said to them of old: Thou

shalt not commit adultery. But I say to you, that
whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath
already committed adultery with her in his heart." Our
Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 5:27-28

"A woman shall not be clothed with man's apparel,

neither shall a man use woman's apparel: for he that doth
these things is abominable before God." Deuteronomy
22:5
WHOSE FAULT? People tend to pass the buck by saying that
it is not their fault if anyone runs into sin as a result of what he
focuses his attention on. At a time St. John Chrysostom (347-
407), the illustrious Bishop of Constantinople and one of the
32 doctors of the Church, frowned at this and said about
women who dress immodestly: "You carry your snare
everywhere and spread your net in all places. You allege
that you never invited others to sin. You did not indeed
by your words, but you have done so by your dress and
your deportment. And much more effectively than you
could by your voice. When you have made another sin in
his heart, how can you be innocent? Tell me whom does
this world condemn? Whom do the judges in court
punish? Those who drink poison or those who prepare it
and administer the fatal potion? You are more criminal
than those who poison the body. You have given the
death-dealing drink. You murder not the body but the
soul, and it is not to enemies do you do this nor are you
urged on by any imaginary necessity nor provoked by
injury. But you do it out of foolish vanity and pride."

There is a curse on mothers who shirk in the responsibilities
of correcting their daughters and sons when they dress
immodestly. Woe to women who dress immodestly, to fathers
and husbands who do not correct their wives and daughters,
to pastors of souls if they remain silent instead of preaching
against the immorality, because this is one of the sins which
causes most souls to go to hell, sins of the flesh.
"O that they would be wise and would understand and
would provide for their latter end." (Deut.32:29)
"There is a way that seemeth just to a man; but the ends
thereof leadeth to death." (Prov.14:12) "Few find the
narrow way to life."
It is true that God loves all. He loves the sinner not because
of his sinfulness but just for him to have salvation, so he
detests sins of the sinner that He loves.
"I live, saith the Lord God. I desire not the death of the
sinner. Be converted and live." (Ex.18-32) He provides us
with all the means most proper for us to be saved.

St. Anselm, Bishop, Confessor and Doctor of the Church, on
this matter of salvation: "If you want to be certain of being
in the number of the Elect, strive to be one of the few, not
one of the many. And if you would be quite sure of your
salvation, strive to be among the fewest of the few; that is
to say: do not follow the great majority of mankind, but
follow those who enter upon the narrow way, who
renounce the world, who give themselves to prayer, and
who never relax their efforts by day or night, so that they
may attain everlasting blessedness."

DISCOVERING THE HIDDEN TREASURE

KNOWING WHO YOU ARE
By Richard B. Ajayi (+2348034707364)
 richieajai2002@yahoo.com

Anyone who picks coins on the street is on his way to becoming a millionaire.

Poverty is not a cloth that should be put on everyday of one’s life. To break
the jinx of poverty in life therefore, you must have dreams, vision, passion and
embark on actions to get the toga of penury off you. Doing a self-analysis, ask
yourself where you are now, where you will be tomorrow, in a year’s time, and
in ten years time. This is life projection. Plan it well and be organized . You
must make comparison of yourself with that person of your age or those of
your age outside Nigeria. Do you contribute to the economy of the country
positively? If you are 18 years of age and you are still dependent on
somebody, then you are not just a loafer and parasite, but a thief.
Gone was the Nigeria of yesterday when jobs were waiting for people ever
before finishing from school. Pitiable is Nigeria of today where
unemployment grows geometrically. This has made many to start adjusting
their ages, going to change affidavit after affidavit. Many have died of hunger
and many are co-habiting with malnutrition, ill-health, suffering, frustration,
crime and eventual untimely death. The Nigeria of the future which many
thought would be handled by the youth of today now faces a gloomy state.
Now is the time for you to start the race. Now is the time to charge the
optimism and positivism in you. Now is the time to think of what kind of life
you want to live. Now is it, when to determine what you want to do to own
what you want. Now is it to prepare your future and that of your children. Or
you want them to live their lives without you mentoring them and teaching
them how to fish? Blaze the trail now, seize the Bull by the horn, crush the
hard nuts and let water flow from the hill top, all through your efforts.
Each one of us has the tendency of becoming great. Our greatness eventually,
if done the proper way, would make us do great things. There are potentials in
every human being except that some have been passive to discovering
themselves and the hidden potentials that could make them great. Never
embark on anything without necessary investigation if you must succeed. The
environment where you want to operate your business is a determinant factor
that could either mar or make your business. What business do you think
would thrive well in the environment you find yourself? You have ideas. Your
ideas could be meaningful if they are well managed and married to a viable
environment. You know your ideas at times could be a bunch of wishful
thinking if not properly processed? An idea conceived unprocessed is worth a
dollar. This idea you have, could turn you around and make you wealthy if
well processed. It is then your idea is worth billions of Dollars. An impression
without expression leads to depression. You must be active with your ideas or
else, when you allow procrastination to set in, somebody else grabs this idea
and processes it to his own gains.
The cemetery remains a place full of richness. This is a place rich of potentials
and ideas. Some of them there would have been sources of inspiration to some
people but for the fact that they were so miserly and myopic with what life had
for them, they died with their ideas. Many talents are there buried in the sand.
Must you be like some of these? My friend wake up from slumber!
To help you make meaningful things out of life and succeed, you need people
to put you through. People could help you discover yourself and the potentials
in you. They are the necessary push that will move you to your greatness.
They are there for you to invest resources on you even at the expense of their
time to promote the discovery of those potentials in you.
Look at yourself as you sit there and ask “who am I?”. Oh! Do you find your
identity in others? Then, your self-esteem and sense of worth will be
dependent on their choices and leadings. But you must be yourself, original as
you are, then act like it.
You have a choice to make today. To move forward or to stay in a place and
wriggle on unemployment, poverty, distress, nagging, pettiness and all in the
family of backwardness? Your choices are based on your identity. Every
choice you make is a determinant of who you are. The identity you construct
yields decisions, attitudes, and actions that are puzzle pieces of your life. This
speaks volume about you to people. Your picture reveals more about you. You
must be proactive in life, or else others will take you along for the ride. Your
life will revolve round the people. Every decision you make contributes a
piece to the art of your existence. Your attitude to life matters to taking rightful
decision. You must therefore be positive. Value-related concepts are germane
to make good decisions.
Are you satisfied with your present position? Wow! If Bill Gate was satisfied
with his earnings, there would not have been need for him to introduce Office
2007 and Windows 2007. If the world’s presidents were satisfied with
reaching the topmost position in government, I wonder the reason for the
clamour for the second or third term. Never be satisfied with this your
financial position especially now at the prime of your age when the agility is
unquestionable. Never allow it to set limit to your dream and vision of
growing in life. You must have a dream. You must work towards making it a
reality to your gains. A dreamless person will forever remain visionless. Such
person does not make any meaningful impact in life. Be a winner rather than a
loser and let the insatiable spirit in you propel you to wanting more success,
but you must wake up from slumber and work harder. A winner will always do
what a loser did ordinarily in an extra ordinary manner. That makes a
difference in-between the two. Opt out of the cobweb of mediocrity where
other parochial mediocre see as conducive milieu to thrive.
Never be a failure. Be positive and start something from somewhere. It is the
failure who criticizes success. There are Treasures in you untapped. All you
need is courage with dynamism in the face of available freedom. This is the
secret of success. You are sitting and walking on raw gold that is not mined.
For you to move, you must start from somewhere. Or, how can you walk if
you do not crawl? How can you crawl if you do not trust your knee? Let your
will be positive breakthrough even if you fall once, twice or thrice. Never be
downcast. Abraham Lincoln, who later became a prominent President in
America contested elections many times and failed. Though undaunted all the
time, he eventually won and performed brilliantly as an Assemblyman and
later as aPresident in America. You can therefore still excel.
Oh! You want to be pitied because of your condition, because of some failures
and disappointments in life? When you allow tears to run down your cheeks,
you will be blindfolded to see new doors of opportunities opening. Humans
are no puppets of fate. Your destiny is in your hands. You can control it. Never
allow it to control you. The time is now for you to rise up and begin the race.
Never grumble about your conditions, about people you think have treated you
badly or those who have disappointed you. Never gamble with your life.
Discover yourself now and the flying opportunities around before it will be
too late. It is the loafers that procrastinate and dine with retardation. It is what
one sows that one reaps. Your own efforts to squeeze water out of rock would
be original and worthwhile.
Successful people like Thomas A. Edison, Aristotle Onassis, John D.
Rockefeller, J. Paul Getty, M.K.O.Abiola, Mike Adenuga, AlikoDangote
became what they are today because of their determination to succeed and
doing ordinary things in extra-ordinary manner. These are successful people.
There are windows of opportunities to peep through in order to make
something meaningful out of life. Never build your castle in the air, or else,
through your myopic nature and your parochial view, you could be living in
the world of utopia. Should you be miserly with the potentials in you, you
could be debarring the windows of opportunities to open widely, not against
somebody alone but even against yourself. The road to prosperity
consequently becomes thin.
TRAITS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE
Never crucify yourself but forgive in order to start a new life as a potential
successful person. Successful people always
Enjoy their work
Have high self-esteem and positive attitude
Are persistent and consistent
Have integrity and help others to succeed
 Use their weaknesses and negative experiences to discover their
strength
Take risk
Surround themselves with competent, responsible, meticulous and
supportive people
Possess developed and sound communication and problem-solving
skills
Are healthy and possess high energy
Hold appointment jealously
Have sense of purpose and a desire to contribute to the society
Recognize God as the Ultimate whose hand is needed for grand
success of the programme.
Are innovative and encourage ingenuity.
Motivate subordinates and others to attain success.
Blessed John Paul II says: “I cannot fail to note once again that the poor
constitute the modern challenge, especially for the well-off of our planet,
where millions of people live in inhuman conditions and many are
literally dying of hunger. It is not possible to announce God the Father to
these brothers and sisters without taking on the responsibility of building
a more just society in the name of Christ.”
So, your future starts from today. If you must therefore succeed and win
the race, the time to rise up is now. And Blessed John Paul II still beckons
to you “Dear young people of every language and culture, a high and
exhilarating task awaits you: that of becoming men and women capable
of solidarity, peace and love of life, with respect for everyone. Become
craftsmen of a new humanity, where brothers and sisters — members all
of the same family — are able at last to live in peace.”
Gentlemen and ladies, rise up, begin the journey with the opportunities you
have today, discontinue with life distractions, jettison the unnecessary and
unprofitable attractions of this time, be focused and today will be a turning
point in your life!

SIGNS AND SYMBOLS IN COMMUNICATION: AROKO

IN YORUBA TRADITION
By Richard B. Ajayi (+2348034707364)

richieajai2002@yahoo.com

Communication has variously been defined by various authors.

In what seems broader however, it has been defined by Wikipedia
as a process by which information is exchanged between or
among individuals through a common system of symbols, signs,
and behaviours. Communication as a process involves activity,
an exchange or a set of behaviours. Lack of universally accepted
definition of communication is a challenge to scholars to come
up with their own operational definition of the concept.
Communication is therefore not restricted to a particular race but
peculiar to human beings.

Relevant to Communication are:
Source: It is the originator of a message.
Message: the stimulus which the source or sender transmits to
the receiver. A message may be verbal, nonverbal or both.
Channel: means by which the message is conveyed from source
to receiver.
Receiver: is the destination of a given message. The receiver
decodes and interprets the message which is sent whereas the
source or sender encodes a message and transmits it.
Noise: It is any stimulus which inhibits the receiver’s accurate
perception of a given message. It could be physical,
psychological or semantic. Examples of physical noise are car
horns blowing, sound of generator, sound of loud music and so
on. Psychological noise occurs when an individual is preoccupied
and therefore misses or misinterprets the external message.
Feedback: People express ideas or thoughts in the form of
messages. Codes are used to share ideas with people. A code is
a systematic arrangement or comprehensive collection of
symbols, letters, or words that have arbitrary meanings and are
used for communication. Two major types of codes that are used
in communication are :verbal codes and nonverbal codes. Verbal
codes consist of symbols and their grammatical arrangement. All
languages are codes and the letters and words of a language are
arbitrary. On the other hand, nonverbal codes consist of symbols
that are not words, including bodily movements, use of space and
time, clothing etc.

Meanwhile, AROKO (pronounced do-re-do in Yoruba) was a non-

verbal communication system in the traditional Yoruba nation. It is
a medium through which messages are transmitted through
physical objects with which meanings are attached from one
person to another. The sole significance of this is message
conveyance. Just like in Communication Theory, there is a Coder,
there is the message and there is as well a decoder. Encoding is
relevant to Aroko and it is defined as the process of taking an
already conceived idea and getting it ready for transmission.
Whereas, Decoding, is the process of taking the stimuli that have
been received and giving those stimuli meaning through one’s
own individual interpretation and perception. In human
communication, the stimuli are signs, symbols and all individual
function as source and receiver. It was a conventional thing in the
olden days because the items used were given similar and
common meanings when used. It was an easier way for which the
Yorubas would always convey messages, good or bad, during
war or when there was no war. However, it was commonly used
by the traditional cult members who were then acting as checks
and balances in the affairs of the towns and villages.

In the Old Oyo, anytime the Alaafin was no more wanted as the
leader, a calabash was always presented him, inside which there
would be the egg of a parrot. On handling this to him, he knew the
meaning especially when accompanied with the sayings: The
Gods reject you; The people of Oyo reject you. The next thing for
the Alaafin was to enter into his inner chamber and to open the
calabash and see the content. That would be the end of the
Alaafin as he would die as a result. So, it was an indirect way of
telling him to go and commit suicide, which he must abide with.
So, Aroko entails sending an item or a group of item to a person.
This person is to link the meaning of such to the item sent. This is
the use of either animate or inanimate objects . As the decoder
infers meanings to this, he acts accordingly. Aroko could be used
to convey message of war, love and affection, objection or
meeting. It could have different interpretations depending on the
coder, the content and the status of the sender.

Just like in other culture where a man picks a flower and hands it
over to a young lady he has affection for, to connote his love for
her especially in courtship, if a full keg of palmwine is sent to the
in-law of a newly wedded bride by the family of the Groom, it
means their daughter recently married to their son is found intact,
without any blemish – a Virgin. The family of such bride is
accorded full respect and the bride herself is reputed. However,
half a keg of Palmwine signifies that the bride had already been
deflowered and this is a blemish on the image and personality of
the family of such bride. The implication is that the bride was not
found to be a virgin, and perhaps, she had been wayward . It did
not command respect in such situation. In this category is the
meaning given to a half chewed chewing stick sent to the family
of a newly wedded bride. Virginity itself is a virtue that has to be
guarded jealously.

The beauty of a woman is not the facial coloration and cosmetic
application. This beauty is found in a woman being un-deflowered
even at the point of getting wedded. The Yorubas call it 'Ibanile'-
meeting at home. This is epitomised by such expressions as
"saving oneself", "losing one's virginity", "taking one's virginity"
and sometimes "deflowering": This sacred occasion is often seen
as the end of innocence, integrity, purity and the eventful
sexualization of the individual. In the olden days, it was a
special celebration on its own when a man realized his wife was
not yet deflowered. Such woman earned much respect from both
the husband and the family members.

Related to this is the use of traditional comb (IYARUN or ONYA in
Yoruba) which at times is used between a man and a woman as a
sign of separation when it is sent by any of the parties to the
other. However, sending it to the person plaiting hair connotes
different meaning. This is an invitation to her to come and plait
hair for about to wed bride.

Aroko is a cultural value that inculcates discipline and self control
on individuals. Unfortunately, the so called modernization has
eroded all values that inculcate moral in to the young. In some
communities, when they want to sell any particular fruit or
vegetables, be it plantain, oranges, pawpaw and so on, they
would not stay beside them. The only thing done is putting the like
sum that they would want to sell the item beside it. With all
honesty, the amount is placed beside the item as the buyer takes
it.

For a person to be handed sand in a community, such person is
banished because of one ignominious offence committed. That
person is forbidden to step on to the land of such community
again, except by special arrangement which could be traditional
purification of such person before such penalty is lifted.

The traditional culture frowns at adultery and any other sexual
promiscuity that could be scandalous to the milieu . A situation
may arise where the iconic picture of an individual male is placed
before his house, especially when it is established that he has a
secret affair with a woman nearby . The tribal mark of such man is
drawn on the right cheek of the icon while a different tribal mark,
particularly, that of the seducing woman, is drawn on the left side
cheek at the same time. This is to castigate the two for going
against the community moral value.

However, the medium of conveyance of any item of Aroko is
different from the other, depending on the situation, availability of
people to send and easiness. At times, that animal could be the
medium of transportation. Such item could be tied round the neck
of such animal, dog, for instance, for onward conveyance down
home. When there is need for salt for instance, when such is tied
round the neck of the dog and sent home, it connotes that those
in the farm, or wherever such people are, lack salt and therefore
need some and should therefore be sent. Such item is tied round
the neck of the animal for onward delivery as well.

Aroko is extended however to the numbers.
‘1’ as a figure symbolizes completeness
‘3’ and ‘5’ and odd numbers generally are special
exclusive numbers of which meanings are only known
to Ifa priests and Ogboni Cult members. It is however a
summon when the figure is ‘5’. Such receiver is
expected as a matter of compulsion to appear within
five days of the summon or face the wrath of the group.
Numbers ‘7’ and ‘10’ though not odd number, are as
well used for summon but restricted to the Ifa Cult
members.
‘6’ as a figure signifies love and affection, used among
lovers, hence, ‘Efa bi efa, e jeki a faarawamo’ra’.
‘8’ as a figure is for peace, security and sound health.
‘9’ symbolizes looming danger.
The use of Aroko is to maintain secrecy even from the carrier of such. It
gives accurate message devoid of ambiguity and misconception and
manipulation. As it is used among cult members, brotherhood among
members as well as confidence and solidarity are energized. The
cultural value should therefore be revisited and encouraged. A people
with lost value loses its culture, moral and tradition. The good ones
should be imbibed and inculcated so as not to be like the river that
forgets its source. Such river dries up with time.

COURTESIES AND MANNERS

By Richard B. Ajayi (+2348034707364)

richieajai2002@yahoo.com

ESSENCE OF MANNERS TO INDIVIDUALS

Your manners tell people who you are. They make the world to know how you were brought up
and your person. A person without manner is perceived to be garrulous in nature and is looked
down upon with disgust and ignominy. One’s manner speaks a lot about one and where one is
from. The beauty of manners is that they make one beautiful and appreciated . Love, kindness
and refinement are viable ingredients of manners. Manners are determined by the type of
family one has; the education possessed; exposure and experience; thinking rationale; level of
self-control; conflict management skill; and one’s sociological interaction with people.

But one’s quick change from this unusual behavior is a matter of choice. One chooses what
one wants to be. Irrespective of a class or social circle or the social status one belongs or has
attained, the reciprocity nature of respect, compels it on one to be kind, moreso, that manners
are kindness. A person without manner is a shame not only to the parents and the family he or
she comes from, but to all categories of societies he or she affiliates himself or herself with.
Lacking manners could be rudeness in a situation where the person concerned remained
inconsiderate to the feelings of others when exhibiting the negative behavioral trait in whichever
form.
However, talking about etiquette is talking about orderly way of doing things. In etiquette, there
are a set of rules to be followed to sanitize the society. It is not Law but a code of conduct to
help straightened behavior in a place. Whereas, manners are a result of graciousness and kind
heart. Rules of etiquette are always unwritten, save for the aspects of etiquette that are usually
codified. These rules are spread over to most aspects of social interaction in any milieu.
GREETING MANNERS

Either you are meeting a new face for the first time or an old customer, friend or stranger, your
face should be charming and welcoming, rather than wearing a muscled morose visage. Firstly,
know that SMILE opens doors of opportunities while sour facial outlook sends people away
sequel to the un-welcoming nature it has. Employ the tool of smile to welcome people. It
demonstrates how kind and helpful you could be to people.

Welcome that person with respect. For instance, as you smile, greet politely, ‘Good morning
Sir/Ma. How is the family?’ . ‘May I help you Sir/Ma?’. If he or she starts introducing himself or
herself, politely REPEAT THE NAMES AND TRY TO GET THEM AT ONCE. When you repeat
the names with courtesy, he or she feels at home and welcomed. Answer the questions posed
with positivity, finding solution to knotty ones even through superior. RESPECT BOUNDARIES
IF THAT IS THE FIRST MEETING or if what you may mention at the course of interaction could
be what that person might not like. Injuring feelings is not a good manner. At the end, do not
forget to say NICE TO MEET YOU or LOVELY MEETING YOU SIR/MA.
It is still part of manners to go extra mile in finding solution to the nagging issues that could give
your visitor or customer challenges. It is kindness that will be appreciated. That appreciation
from him or her as well is still part of manners.
DINING TABLE COMMON ERRORS

Many people have fallen prey to committing some avoidable Dining Table errors. This is
dangerous while in a social circle or gathering. It could be embarrassing even to those at the
table. For the avoidance of doubt, all the underlisted are those errors which individuals might
have committed while at the table.
APPEARANCE- It is expected of one to sit straight and keep the elbows off the
table. Let the hands then rest on the lap, in case of any confusion.
CUTLERY- there is a way of handling the fork and knife while wanting to eat at the
table. The fork should always be held by the left hand appropriately and the knife
held not like a dagger with the right hand. The cutlery should not be waved in the
air while demonstrating or making a point. Never put silverware partly on the table
and partly on the plate. Once you are set to eat and you pick up any of the cutlery,
never should any of them be allowed to touch the table again. Knife would be
placed on the plate and the blade facing in and touching the inside of the plate.
Only the handle should rest on the rim of the plate.
NAPKINS- they are not handkerchief used to rub face. So, do not use napkin to
rub the lower half of the face. Never flap it to get unfolded and never should it be
turned to flag that is waved in the air. It has to rest unfolded on the lap. If by
chance, it requires that one leaves the table, the napkin is placed on the chair,
and the chair pushed back under the table. This should be done gently without
creating any scene. Never refold the napkin after use to forestall it being given the
way it is to another user without washing. Remove the napkin from the centre and
place it loosely on the left of the plate on the table.
SPEED- Never rush meals. Take it easy and eat with same pace like others.
There is no competition. It could be embarrassing when your pace is faster. One
should have same number of courses with others at the table, starting and
finishing each course at about the same time. Never should you rush any of the
foods in order to eat more than others.
CHEWING- Chewing has to be done diligently with mouth closed and without
unnecessary sound from the mouth and without letting any part fall from the
mouth. Take the size the mouth can contain at a time. No matter the urgency of
what you want to say or the banters you want to throw, never do so while eating
food in your mouth. Do not gulp and do not blurt.
PICKING TEETH – In case you have any food, meat or anything trapped in your
mouth, never attempt to remove it while at the table. You may rather get yourself
excused and go to the restroom where you have the whole room to remove
whatever log or animal you have in between the teeth.
LIPSTICK ETIQUETTE- It is bad to leave lipstick traces on the stemware and
 flatware while at the table with other partners. In a situation where you have
lipstick on , get blotting tissue or excuse yourself to the restroom and find solution
to it not to embarrass others.
BREAKING BREAD- In a situation where there are bread and butter, cut bread
into bite-size pieces and spread butter on each piece before eating it. Never apply
butter to the whole slice of bread to get it ready for occasional bites during the
course of the meal.
PURSES AND BRIEF CASES- Anything that is not part of the meal like keys, hat,
eyeglasses, books, gloves, eye glass case, newspapers and so on, should never
be put on the dining table during the course of the meal.
SMOKING- Always remember that you are not alone at the table and therefore, a
behaviour of yours could be embarrassing to others. So, even if you are sitting in
the smoking section of the restaurant or even at the table at home with others, it
becomes an aberration to light up between courses. This affects others’ taste
buds. Wait till after the meal and perhaps excuse yourself elsewhere. Never
should the plate be turned into and ashtray.

I AM ANGRY
By Richard B. Ajayi (+2348034707364)
richieajai2002@yahoo.com

01/10/2016

I am angry at Nigeria for the situation she has found herself. I

am angry at the system where the legacies of our fathers are
made to crumble and the nationalism in them is now
rubbished off as a bad principle. I am angry that our patriotic
fathers are feeling inconvenient and not smiling now in their
grave. I am angry that unemployment rate soars everyday
and social vices spring up per second while social value
becomes an anathema!

I am angry that vagabondage is the order of the day in this

country with religious fanaticism, insurgency, militancy and
neo-colonialism from Nigerian leaders destroying, maiming
and killing Nigerians. I am angry that our leaders feel
unconcerned with the Nigerian situation where it is difficult for
majority of Nigerians to fulfill their required responsibilities at
home and in all facets of life.

I am angry at the system where unemployment rate soars

everyday unabated and social vices rise up per second
unceasingly. I am angry to see corruption thriving in both high
and low places, even in the churches and mosques with no
respect again for the fear of God. I am angry at the system
where life becomes hard and seemingly unbearable as one is
no more able to fulfill his family responsibilities out of
egocentric nature of those called our leaders. I am angry that
patriotism has changed for good to parochialism,
Machiavellianism and chauvinism.

I am angry at seeing nonchalance of our leaders, after

travelling abroad and seeing the beauty of life there, and
Nigerians still battle with epileptic electricity, irregular fuel and
water supplies, while battling with glorified health and
education facilities with nothing to show for them.

I am angry at the system where the poor are becoming poorer

and the rich becoming richer with no concern whatsoever for
the poverty stricken walking carcass individuals looking for
crumbs in place of real food, which those up there do not
allow to descend.

I am angry at the system when I see the sick dying everyday
for lack of fund to buy drugs or get them stabilized; when I
see some students on the streets thrown out of the schools
for lack of school fees because of the inability of parents to
pay out of poverty. I am angry when I look under bridges in
towns, in the open market stalls at night and I see the
supposed “future of tomorrow” languishing in the cold in
degrading situations.

I am angry at the system when I see our universities and

higher institutions soaring up in geometrical number while
industries and vocational centres are crawling arithmetically
unattended to, with little or no attention paid to nigeria’s
future. I am angry the more with the situation when I see the
keg of gun powder dangling in this country with the youth
engaging in thuggery, robbery, prostitution, drug peddling,
human trafficking, cultism, yahoo-plus and other nefarious
activities detrimental to their lives and the future of Nigeria.

I am angry at the system when the shameless politicians still

go about, after doing nothing at fulfilling their promises to the
electorates, taking people for rides as if gullible, still ask for
second chance, to further line their pockets. I feel angry when
I see some people thinking that I am among those who put
their conscience on the shelf for sale because of freebies that
will not stand the test of time, and still approach me and my
compatriots for our votes as if beggars have no choice.

I am angry at the system when I ask Nigerians frequently,

some salient questions as :
Are the people at the helm of affairs in this country
LEADERS or RULERS ?
When shall we stop deceiving one another?
When shall we get to the El-dorado?
When shall we, because of hunger and poverty stop
 selling our conscience?
When shall we realize in this country that we are a
laughing stock to some other nations?
And nobody cares to answer me.
NIGERIANS THINK!

TURNING POINT IN LIFE

By Richard B. Ajayi(+2348034707364)
richieajai2002@yahoo.com

Road to success could be thorny and shaggy. It could be undulating and corrugated. It could be
rough and even slippery at times. This tells us that life’s journey is full of pot-holes that calls for
dexterity to tread. They are checks and balances. They are the natural control put in place in
spite of artificial ones that could act as spanners in the wheel of progress, put in there by man
himself. Though they are to curb the excesses of man, they could be catalysts to man’s
determination to achieve greatness irrespective of the nature of the man-made cog.
The road has to be rough really if value will be added to life. Life’s journey could be tortuous, it
is rewarding if approached with caution and prayer. Experiences on daily basis will never be
same. A life devoid of experience remains a wasteful life. The experience therefore should be a
launching pad to achieving greatness in the life of man. Endurance, perseverance, thick skin,
all are needed to weather the storm of life and get to the Eldorado, the land of abundant joy.
Never be daunted because of a spanner in the wheel of your journey in life. Do you see a
fellow as a stumbling block on your way and therefore you want to be pitied? Have you been
denied of your rightful position and you want to start wriggling in that position? Oh! You want to
fan the ember of sympathy because you are not moving? Joggling on your seat is never the
answer, neither is stepping aside without way forward is the solution but moving forward to
achieve your agreement to make it in life which you had with your Creator. The fear of the
unknown will kill the talents in you. The phobia for the future will guillotine those treasures you
have in you. You must therefore take the bull by the horn, bell the cat if others refuse to, but
without leaping into a dungeon. In doing this, there could be pitfalls, but never be downcast. If
Abraham Lincoln were to be you, he would not have secured any seat in the Congress before
he eventually became the American President after many failures at the polls. If the likes of our
own Governors RaufAregbesola of the State of Osun and KayodeFayemi of Ekiti State were to
be you after losing at the polls, even in the law courts for some time before they eventually
were declared winners in their respective states, they would not have been in the Government
House. Friend, you are never a loser but a winner, identify those hidden treasures in you that
can propel you to greatness.

That is the turning point if identified. Making hay when the sun shines is accompanied with
accolades and one could eventually be a hero. With the agility in you, you must move on
without stepping aside. That turning point is a milestone of your life if well identified. There is
time for everything in life, the Scripture has said it . “To every thing there is a season, and a
time to every purpose under the heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up that which is planted, a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break
down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time
to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a
time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to
speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace; “(Ecclesiates 3:1-
8). But “the future starts from today, not tomorrow”, Blessed John Paul II affirms. Because we
have our God, we should not be afraid. We should not be satisfied with mediocrity. Let us put
out into the deep and let down our nets for a catch. Kindness is a language which the blind can
see and the deaf can hear. How are we to each other?May His hands continue to lead us
through life in Jesus name. Amen.

MORAL DECADENCE AMONG YOUTHS, THREAT TO LIFE

BUILDING SKILLS
By Richard B. Ajayi
"Do not love the world, or the things that are in the world.
If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him;
because all that is in the world is the lust of the flesh, and the
lust of the eyes, and the pride of life; which is not from the
Father, but from the world. And the world with its lust is passing
away but he who does the will of God abides forever." (1 St. John
2:15, 17)

INTRODUCTION
The society is generally polluted with social vices.
Many parents, guardians and teachers have
shirked in their respective tasks of building a sane
and just society. Legacy to be bequeathed has
been let loose and therefore, it is evasive and
elusive. All are busy doing things their own ways.
But these ways may eventually lead to perdition
and the perilous time draws near everyday. The
evil days are postponed all because of selfishness
and loss of focus by those who are entrusted with
the task of forming future generations to take over
from the present one. No wonder there are no
more values in the society. In place of these are
cultism, rape, lesbianism, homosexuality, highway
robbery, rituals of various kinds, corruption,
examination malpractices, unwanted pregnancy,
abortion, murder, hemp smoking and drug sniffing,
brigandage and gangsters, seductive dressings,
dancing, singing and moves. But they are not
helped either by the unemployment rate soaring in
Nigeria and importation of detrimental western
culture which is a serious threat to ours and the
future of our children. Youth of nowadays seize the
opportunity of any celebration to perpetrate
nefarious activities in the dark and in the open
glare of all. Moral value is endangered! The
Valentine Day celebration is not exempted. There
is bastardisation of festivals that are supposed to
bring in love, peace, happiness, reunion and
awareness.
As bad as it is, the youth of today do not see
anything bad in immodest dressings, cleavage
exposure, sagging, tattooing, cultism and others.
Whereas, according to Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
"A mortal sin of scandal is committed by
women who go about with their bosom
immodestly exposed, or who expose their
limbs improperly. Also by actors in immodest
comedies, and still more by the persons who
compose such comedies; also by painters who
paint obscene pictures, and by the heads of
families who keep such pictures in their
houses. The father who speaks obscenely, or
blasphemes the saints, in presence of his
children, and the mother who brings into her
house to live among her daughters young men
who are in love with them, or betrothed to
them, or other suspected persons, are guilty of
a still more grievous sin of scandal. Some
mothers say: do not suspect any evil. I answer,
that it is their duty to suspect; otherwise they
will have to render to God an account of all the
sins which may follow”.

MORALITY
Conscience is the bedrock of character formation
in the life of all, the adolescents are not left out. It
is vital to all as it makes one to differentiate good
from bad , and true nature of whatever one does.
The moral disposition from which one gives
spontaneous response to the dictates of the
conscience therefore, makes one virtuous over a
period of time. All must make the conscience to be
functional and alive in order to have a just society.
Not giving the conscience a place to function has
ever been responsible for the insatiable passions
which make many people a bunch of prey to the
societal ills, caprices and influences. The
immorality and insecurity in the world today
coupled with global wars and other degeneration
values in the society are the outward projections of
conflicts waged inside the soul. Morality is helped
through the dictates of the conscience and these
dictates are echoes from the sanctuary, talking to
us and reminding us of the goodness and beauty
of truth. It is God who directs the affairs of all. The
implication therefore is that when people are
guided by objective moral standards in their
actions and decisions, more consciences are
formed, informed and reformed. We must build the
conscience every time.

LIFE BUILDING SKILLS

Life building skills are very important in the life of
every individual especially the adolescents if
something meaningful is to be gotten out of life in
the society. Inculcating these skills into
adolescents is the concern of every parent and
guardian and as well the teachers. It is unfortunate
that less concern attitude exhibited by those who
supposed to be models and mentors even among
parents has made morality in the society to nose-
dive into oblivion . This has adversely affected the
youth in the society. Social values have been
truncated and thrown over-board and immorality
has been enthroned with adulation and
glorification. Youth who are supposed to be
leaders of tomorrow, majority at least, are
nowadays seen as night marauders of today,
engaging in cultism in schools and colleges, even
in primary schools! Rape is now the order of the
day among the youth. Or how do you want to build
the future if your present is full of vices where drug
addiction, truancy, night clubbing, voodooism,
homosexuality, lesbianism, robbery, prostitution,
ritual, yahoo-plus and so on are what the youth
nowadays engage in. ? The future remains
perpetually bleak if the youth of today refuse to
turn new leaves that will usher in sound moral,
peace and all values needed to make the society a
better place to live in.
Unfortunately there are multitudes of distraction in
the life of the youth. These are energized by
parental laxity, broken marriages, poverty, negative
peer pressure, economic hardship ,
unemployment, addiction to western culture,
paucity of role models to mentor , negative attitude
of the government towards the youth and so on.
But Life building skills are out to make individuals
better in the society. These are the skills
individuals are expected to acquire to be able to
live effectively and face life challenges to attain
success. People with life building skills are focus-
minded and can easily adapt to any situation they
find themselves.
By definition, Skills are special competencies
acquired over a period of time by a person, to
correctly perform a task or correctly deal with
specific situations. Life skills are the abilities for
adaptive and positive behaviours that enable
individuals to deal with demands and challenges of
everyday life. The skills tend towards facing
challenges and coming out victorious after some
endurance. Life itself is a challenge. The skill to
weather the storm without falling and failing is
required of individuals and especially the youth
who are faced with various options, good and bad.
At this period of various options and temptations
for the youth therefore, there is need for life skills
to deal with challenging life situations and
problems and promote responsible healthy social,
sexual and reproductive health behaviours
especially now that HIV and AIDS are killing
because of people’s nonchalance, non-adherence
to directives and education.
YOU ARE GIFTS
You must realize that you are the fruits of the love
of two people joined together by God. If you are
divine fruits, then you are a bundle of gifts and
therefore you can not afford to polarize the society
and contribute towards making the society non-
habitable for others. You have a purpose to fulfil.
Make yourself a source of change. You can move
mountain and make the world a better place
through positive attitude because of your
uniqueness. The will to win, the desire to succeed,
the urge to reach your full potential, these are the
keys that unlock the door to personal excellence.
Never give up because the most important things
in life have been accomplished by people who kept
on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all,
even in spite of repeated falls and failures,
because they refused to be tired of trials. You
should know therefore that life is full of vicissitudes
and the ups and downs in life are what make us
who we are. They teach us, give us insight on life
lessons and give us the strength we need to hold
on.
Never walk a short-cut that could be suicidal and
non-rewarding. Short-changing and short-cutting
eventually lead to water-loo. The implication in
never told when introduced, but definitely there will
be sanctions and punitive measures that make one
doomed. The road to success is always under
construction. You could encounter pot-holes and
delays, resulting from the undulating nature of life
but you must keep your eye on the goal and keep
moving.
Are you engaged in any nefarious activity like
cultism, homosexuality, smoking of weeds, rape
and so on? There is need for a necessary travel as
the real beauty is found in oneself. That is the
tranquil beach, the beautiful sunset. To travel is to
travel inward. Now is the time for a change. You
are a gift and all the components making up YOU
and who you are, are gifts from God. These, you
must use judiciously because they could be
withdrawn by Him.
Now is the time for you to start the race. Now is the
time to charge the optimism and positivism in you. Now
is the time to think of what kind of life you want to live.
Now is it, when to determine what you want to do to
own what you want. Now is it to prepare your future
and that of your children. Or you want them to live their
lives without you mentoring them and teaching them
how to fish? Blaze the trail now, seize the Bull by the
horn, crush the hard nuts and let water flow from the
hill top, all through your efforts.
Look at yourself as you sit there and ask “who am I?”.
Oh! Do you find your identity in others? Then, your
self-esteem and sense of worth will be dependent on
their choices and leadings. But you must be yourself,
original as you are, then act like it.
You have a choice to make today. To move forward, to
engage in cultism, jeopardize your future through
committal of social vices or to stay in a place and
wriggle on unemployment, poverty, distress, nagging,
pettiness and all in the family of backwardness? Your
choices are based on your identity. Every choice you
make is a determinant of who you are and what you
intend to become in the future. The identity you
construct yields decisions, attitudes, and actions that are
puzzle pieces of your life. This speaks volume about
you to people. Your picture reveals more about you.
You must be proactive in life, or else others will take
you along for the ride. Your life will revolve round the
people. Every decision you make contributes a piece to
the art of your existence. Your attitude to life matters to
taking rightful decision. You must therefore be positive.
Value-related concepts are germane to make good
decisions.
You must have a dream. You must work towards
making it a reality to your gains. A dreamless person
will forever remain visionless. Such person does not
make any meaningful impact in life. Be a winner rather
than a loser and let the insatiable spirit in you propel
you to wanting more success, but you must wake up
from slumber and work harder. A winner will always do
what a loser did ordinarily in an extra ordinary manner.
That makes a difference in-between the two. Opt out of
the cobweb of mediocrity where other parochial
mediocre see as conducive milieu to thrive.
Successful people like Thomas A. Edison, Aristotle
Onassis, John D. Rockefeller, J. Paul Getty,
M.K.O.Abiola, Mike Adenuga, Aliko Dangote became
what they are today because of their determination to
succeed and doing ordinary things in extra-ordinary
manner. These are successful people.
There are windows of opportunities to peep through in
order to make something meaningful out of life rather
than indulging in drug sniffing and night marauding.
The destiny lies in your hand , control it to your gain.

Positive health implication of sex to couples

01 July 2014, 13:07 Richard Babatunde Ajayi

Marriage watered with love through prayer is amazing. All

other things to make the journey successful as created by
God make it more beautiful if properly employed. Sex is key
to mutual loving between the husband and the wife. It is never
an aberration if well employed and it has some other merits
on one’s health. Sex becomes an aberration between couples
only if used as a weapon of suppression, intimidation and fear
by either of the couple. Then it is becoming bestial in nature.
Sex is meant to be enjoyed really. It is a great gift God has
given to couples. Couples in this sense are those who are
joined together properly as husbands and wives – males to
females in real sense.

The Holy Scripture does not in any form encourage nor

recognize any other manipulation different from man marrying
a woman. However, never be bored unnecessarily when your
partner needs you for sex because it as well helps you to live
long through sound health. Apart from giving you moment of
pleasure in the bedroom, having an active sex life will make
you feel comfortable with your spouse, and gives security to
your marital home. Your health, your heart, your head, your
hormones all depend on a healthy sexual relationship. Never
feel unconcerned when you are needed for the exercise by
your spouse. You must work it out. You must succeed and
enjoy the beauty and pleasure, but only if you are properly
married. Let it make the two of you babies together, needing
to be cuddled, pampered and petted.

Looking Better, Feeling Better and satisfied: Sex is a physical

exercise that straightens the muscles, burns fats and restores
body to normalcy if not in normal form. It can burn an extra
100 calories per half hour even when not employed
frequently. These are the results of related research. Couple
may not waste money on a gym membership. They can work
out a sweat, and then enjoy a long, hot shower together. It
keeps the couple in form.

Getting Fertile: It has been scientifically proved that women

who have regular sex with their men, once a week or more,
are significantly more likely to menstruate on a regular cycle
and experience fewer fertility problems than the abstinent or
sex-deprived. Logically too, for a couple to have a baby,
distance should be avoided and they need to have lots of
sex. Though many couples make the mistake of “saving up”
all their sexy for ovulation, the scientific community has
proved that regular sex, including oral and manual
stimulation, does not only make it easier to get pregnant but
can prepare the body to carry a healthy, full-term pregnancy. It
has been proved as well by scientists that partners who
engage in regular sexual contact have an increase in
conception rates but fewer incidents of miscarriage,
preeclampsia (a condition characterized by proteinuria,
hypertension and oedema, usually arising from the latter part
of pregnancy) and high blood pressure.
Improving Your Immunity: For a couple to maintain and
improve their immunity, they need regular sex. Regular sex, 1-
2 times a week or more, provides up to a 30% increase in
salivary immunoglobulin, while sex, less than once a week
showed a slight benefit over the abstinent, a research has
proved. To make you a happy couple with healthy sex life,
through the microbial input of foreign fluids, you just must
have sex, not just fun for the fun of it.

Preventing Disease: For you to banish disease, you must go

for sex as it boosts the immunity. Regular sex and intimate
touch even if it is as simple as a hug prevents high blood
pressure, heart disease, prostate cancer, and all illnesses and
disorders related to stress. It has been proven to initiate the
release of oxytocin into the blood stream, which naturally
lowers blood pressure and heart rate. Having sex two or more
times per week could be enough to cut a man’s risk for heart
attack in half but really, it is recommended that 21 times of
sex within a month keeps the body fit! Frequent ejaculations
have been linked to a lower risk for prostate cancer in later
life. Having sex frequently by a couple also banishes
extraneous diseases that could have been imported through
extra-marital sex. Then, why should either of the couple not
embrace mutual sex between them?

Pain Reliever: Frequent sexual activity initiates the release of

oxytocin. Those great chemicals, oxytocin in particular, boost
pain tolerance up to 50% – menstrual cramps, migraines,
chronic pain of any kind can be relieved with an orgasm or
three! Even if one is not interested in trying to conceive,
regular sexual activity has been shown to be equally effective
in regulating the menstrual cycle as it is in relieving menstrual
cramps.

Discouraging masturbation: When there is regular sex

between a couple, masturbation does not have a resting
place in their hearts. Masturbation remains a sin. It troubles
the mind and makes one enslaved, misogynist or misandrist
or
generally,misanthrope.

Removing unnecessary formality: Regular sex between

couples encourages mutuality, liberty, sound communication,
respect for each other, love and fidelity. There is that freedom
with each other in the home when one makes sexual
relationship a regular exercise devoid of whatever inhibition or
troublesomeness. This is a period issues are revisited and
settled without any interloper meddling.
Necessary Tips for Couples on Sex

Regular sexual activities are good to making the couple trust

each other, build confidence in each other, energizes the
mutual relationship and helps in bringing harmony to the
Home. However, for couples, legally married and religiously
supported, sex should not be denied the beauty with which it
has been divinely created without any abuse. Afterall, sex is
meant for the matured . The mind and the whole body must
be harmonized through foreplay for such activity to be
meaningful between a couple. However, unless jealously
guarded, sex can mar or make a relationship. Therefore,
there are need for understanding, mutuality, generosity in
relation to give and take attitude, honesty, cooperation and
flexibility on both sides.

Ø Having sex relieves headaches. Every time you make love

where fore-play is encouraged, it releases the tension in the
veins of the brain.
Ø A lot of sex can clear a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural
antihistamine . It suppresses some of the effects of
histamines released in the body . It helps to fight against
asthma and spring allergies .
Ø Making love is a spectacular beauty treatment. Scientists
have discovered that when a woman has sex , it produces a
large amount of estrogen that gives shine and softness to
hair.
Ø Sex is one of the safest sports that releases the dirts in the
body through the coming out of sweats . Making love often
strengthens the muscles of male and female body. It is more
enjoyable than swimming 20 laps in the pool without any need
for special shoes!
Ø There is no mad rush in the issue of sex if it must be
effective and result oriented. Making love slowly , smoothly
and in a relaxed way reduces the chances of suffering
dermatitis, skin rashes and acne . The sweat produced
cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow .
Ø Lovemaking can burn all the calories you have
accumulated during the romantic dinner before bedtime.
Ø Have you ever seen anyone coming out from sex with a
squeezed visage? Unless if against the wish of either of the
parties or rape, sex is a divine remedy for depression. It
releases endorphins into the bloodstream , creating a state of
euphoria and leaving women and men with the feeling of
being unique.
Ø Have you suffered from sleeplessness? Sex is the
tranquilizer and muscle relaxant to a safer world . It is a
thousand times more effective than Valium . The reason why
many doze off after sexual activity.
Ø Sexually active body releases more pheromones, which
are chemicals with a specific odour present in the sweat
glands. They may influence sexual behaviours.
Ø Kissing is essential to making love which culminates in
eventual sexual activity between a married couple. In fact,
having it each day will keeps one more time away from the
dentist . Kissing is an art which makes the cleaner teeth and
saliva reduce the amount of acid that causes tooth decay .
This prevention eliminates many problems , in addition to
offering a breath constantly renewed !