Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological condition that occurs when a victim of abuse identifies and attaches, or bonds,
positively with their abuser. This syndrome was originally observed when hostages who were kidnapped not only
bonded with their kidnappers, but also fell in love with them.
Professionals have expanded the definition of Stockholm syndrome to include any relationship in which victims of
abuse develop a strong, loyal attachment to the perpetrators of abuse. Some of the populations affected with this
condition include concentration camp prisoners, prisoners of war, abused children, incest survivors, victims of
domestic violence, cult members, and people in toxic work or church environments.
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-stockholm-syndrome-happens-and-how-to-help-0926184
HOW TO HELP PEOPLE WHO MAY HAVE STOCKHOLM SYNDROME
Understanding the underlying psychology surrounding Stockholm syndrome can help you know how to help someone
who has it. Stockholm syndrome is the victim’s response to trauma and involves many social dynamics. Some of these
social dynamics include conformity, groupthink, deindividuation, romantic love, and fundamental attribution error,
among others.
Try psychoeducation. Psychoeducation involves teaching victims of Stockholm syndrome what is going on.
Remember the saying, “Knowledge is power”? Knowing what you’re up against is the best offense to win the
battle for your loved one’s freedom.
Avoid polarization. Don’t try to convince the victim of the villainous traits of the abuser; this may cause the victim
to polarize and defend the perpetrator.
Use the Socratic method. Ask the victim questions about how they see the situation, how they feel and think, and
what they believe needs to happen next.
Listen without judgment. As the victim ponders everything that’s happened and processes their experience with
the perpetrator, listen and use reflection to show concern and validation.
Don’t give advice. Victims of abuse need to be empowered to make their own decisions. If you come along and
tell them what to do because you “obviously know better,” then you are not helping the victim build their muscle
of personal power. Remember, the road to healing from abuse is often to empower the victim to make their own
decisions, to know this, and to own it.
Address the cognitive dissonance. Being in a manipulative relationship can cause cognitive dissonance. This
means the victim’s intuition has been damaged, and they may be confused about reality. Help them by validating
their truth and encouraging them to trust themselves.
Identify the “hook.” Victims of Stockholm syndrome can become dedicated to a cause or an unspoken desire.
They may over-identify with the perpetrator in a dysfunctional way in order to fulfill a personal need. This is the
“hook.” Help the victim identify what the underlying need is that is being fulfilled by the abusive relationship
connection. Once the victim understands why they are so committed to the relationship, they can start making
positive changes.
Examples of hooks include a variety of feelings, such as those of loyalty. They can be found in statements such as “I’ll
be there no matter what,” or “It’s you and me against the world.” These types of needs tend to be unconscious and may
have developed at an earlier stage of an individual’s life.
Being aware of the psychological underpinnings of Stockholm syndrome can help you understand how to best help
someone with the condition. Its treatment is under-researched. While there is ample discussion of the legal
ramifications of the disorder, very little has been written on how to help someone who has been affected. The bottom
line, no matter what intervention you use to help someone who has this condition, is to remember to offer empathy
always and coercion never.
If you think you or a loved one is experiencing Stockholm syndrome, a therapist may help you or them work through
some of the steps to healing above. Start your search for the therapist best suited to helping you today.
References:
1. Alexander, D. A. & Klein, S. (2009, January 1). Kidnapping and hostage-taking: A review of effects, coping and
resilience. Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, 1 (102), 16–21. doi: 10.1258/jrsm.2008.080347
2. Carver, J. M. (2014, December 20). Love and Stockholm syndrome: The mystery of loving an abuser, page 1.
Retrieved from https://counsellingresource.com/therapy/self-help/stockholm
3. Dittman, M. (2002). Cults of hatred. American Psychological Association, 10 (33), 30. Retrieved from
http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov02/cults.aspx
4. Gray, M. D. (2017, January 16). How to treat Stockholm syndrome. Retrieved from https://health.onehowto.com
/article/how-to-treat-stockholm-syndrome-7546.html
5. Kerkar, P. (2017, August 28). What is a Stockholm syndrome & how is it treated? Retrieved from
https://www.epainassist.com/mental-health/stockholm-syndrome
6. Social psychology. (2010). Retrieved from https://www1.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/120/LectureSocialF10.pdf
© Copyright 2018 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Sharie Stines, PsyD
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-stockholm-syndrome-happens-and-how-to-help-0926184