9C Essays 2

The rising prevalence of single-use plastics comes with a myriad of environmental problems, and one of the most
critical issues is the threats it has imposed on the oceans. This essay will discuss the damages humans have done on
the environment before proposing some of the plausible solutions in which governments and individuals can do to
tackle the problems.
There is no denying that plastic is not biodegrade, meaning that waste plastic in the oceans will stay there for
generations to come. Studies show that more than 12 million tons of plastics go into the oceans annually. After some
times, these plastics started to degraded and turned into tiny pieces of plastics. Fish, seabirds, sea turtles and sea
mammals may accidentally entangle themselves in or ingest these microplastics, resulting in suffocation, starvation
which eventually lead to drowning. For example, in 2010, a California grey whale which stomach contained various
plastic objects washed up dead on Puget Sound’s shores. Not only will this wreak havoc on marine ecosystems,
humans are polluting their own food chain by filling the oceans with plastic litter and later on, digesting creatures that
contain plastic debris in their body.
A plentitude of viable solutions can be applied to resolve this deadly problem. Firstly, the governments should earmark
more funding for projects that help reduce the use of plastic, such as developing a decomposable and environmentally-
friendly material while still having the merits of plastic. Bamboo, platinum silicone, beeswax-coated cloth and stainless
steel have proved to be some of the most long-lasting plastic alternatives available. Secondly, strict regulations with
hefty fines on companies that polluted the environment should be strengthen. Moreover, each individual must be
responsible for the repercussions they have on the environment. Switching from single-use plastics to reusable
alternatives, taking part in voluntary projects are all ways of partly solving the aforementioned issues.
In conclusion, excessive usage of single-use plastics is the fundamental reason for the death of innumerable marine
creatures., and the suggested measures should be taken to alleviate the problem.
- There are a few issues with word order/sentence structure, particularly in the way you connect clauses.
6.5
7
Nguyễn Vũ An Bình
During their technologic and science revolutions, humans have undoubtedly dealt a blow to the environment, for
instances: the reduction of forest coverage, the contamination of water sources and the extinction rate in the animal
kingdom. Despite many attempts to resolve the current situations, the matter remains to be a hot potato internationally.
The following passage will provide information on some notorious causes of environmental problems and demonstrate
a few answers to the contentious environmental problem.
Firstly, one of the biggest factor is the excessive carbon emissions. Spawned by humanity reckless industrialization,
replacing trees with houses and factories so that they can satisfy desire to consume. In the USA alone, the annual
output of carbon can ramp up to 5.41GT, which effectively raises the temperature by 0.02°C, not to mention other
superpowers. In regards to this, gorvernment can impose new rules, taxes limiting the carbon output per factory which
contributes for the largest portion in carbon emissions. Moreover, residents of big cities should commute by public
transportation, walking or cycling, successfully cut off 28% of the carbon footprints.
Second is humans' defective waste management. Millions of trash every years get poured down rivers and seas which
then tinker with the aquatic habitats, impairing foodchains. Subsquentially, it causes chaos and distortion to the
animals, forcing them to go extinct. However, as desperate as the situation may seem, there are still measures which
can be utillized to ameliorate the damage done. Gorverments can invest in garbage disposal plants and allocate them
in chokepoints. Furthermore, individuals must put substantial efforts into recycling, reusing, reducing their waste and
take steps in catergorizing them.
Despite all of this, it is foreseenable that environmental problems will remain unanswered. However, no matter what
lenghts we must go, we have to prolong natural calamity as much as possible so that a definitive solution can be found.
- There are various spelling mistakes.
- There are numerous issues with sentence structure. Several of the sentences are ungrammatical.
- The language needs to be much more precise. Make sure you use the correct words to illustrate your points.
- The essay is too short. You need to revise before submitting it.
- It would be better if you divided the body paragraphs into 2, one of which relates to the causes and the remaining
deals with solutions, instead of 3.
35
Đoàn Minh Quang

These days, human activities are alarmingly devastating the environment. This essay would indicate various ways
people are damaging the environment, as well as provides feasible solutions to resolve this issue.
To start, human activities have irrefutably degraded the environment. First of all, the excessive use of private
transportation is one of the primary factors contributing to unsettled environmental issues. In metropolitans and
densely-populated cities, it is observed that there is a skyrocketing rate of car ownership throughout the world.
Exhaust fumes from cars contain deleterious components, such as carbon monoxide and hydrocarbons; therefore, the
atmosphere and reducethe air quality. In particular, the air quality in Hanoi is considered among the worst, due to the
overwhelming numbers of vehicles during high time or traffic congestions.
In addition, people nowadays have a tendency of dampening household and industrial wastes into the soil or water;
hence, environmental surroundings are dramatically affected. Water spoilt by sewage and fertilizers are undrinkable;
besides, it can adversely affect the aquatic ecosystems and subsequently halt organisms’ growth. Similarly, harmful
substances from landfills or sewage systems exert detrimental impact on the soil; moreover, they create awful smell
and even transmit diseases.
Plausible solutions could be taken to tackle the problems. Firstly, were the government to establish effective policies,
there would unarguably be a widespread participation in the public. Eco-friendly transportations, for example
carpooling or electric cars ought to be considered, since they are the sole solutions to reduce hazardous emissions
profoundly. Next, we should phase out fossil fuels and replace them with alternative resources of energy such as solar
power, wind power and geothermal energy to be free of carbon-footprint. Eventually, recycled products should be on
display with affordable prices, so as to nurture customers’ habits of using recyclable products and understand their
values.
To conclude, it is apparent that people’s inclinations of using motor vehicles and improperly dispose wastes severely
jeopardize the environment; and proposed solutions need to be implemented instantaneously to address this global
issue.
- You’re overusing the semicolon.
- The essay contains quite a few claims that are either redundant or not supported by any evidence.
-- It would be better if you divided the body paragraphs into 2, one of which relates to the causes and the remaining
4.5
Nguyễn Lâm Hà
It is doubtless that humans are abysmally blighting the planet. For that reason, effectual solutions are essential to
lower the damage to nature. The following essay will demonstrate several ways contributing to environmental
degradation before outlining many remedies to ameliorate the problems.
There are a number of factors responsible for environmental contamination. Firstly, anthropogenic emission from
factories, automobiles, and the combustion of fossil fuels has adversely escalated air pollution to a large extent. To be
more specific, the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has skyrocketed for the last 30 years due to the
industrial processes, agricultural activities, and fuel-powered vehicle ownership in many territories. Also, the
detrimental impact of overproduction, as well as overconsumption, has caused tons of waste to be produced, and as a
result, landfills, as well as water sources, are suffering dire conditions. However, it is possible to tackle the issues with
several attainable resolutions. First, efficient appliances and renewable energy sources should be invested by the
government to diminish the influence of climate change efficiently as the In fact, this method has helped to reduce
emissions by 23 billion quintals of carbon dioxide since 1987 and cut down the usage of fossil fuels, statistics
expressed. Second, it is essential to give impetus to environmental campaigns to raise civic awareness and reduce
energy consumption. As people recognize the urgent situation of the conditions, they tend to have a more sustainable
lifestyle, such as using paper bags as an alternative to plastic bags.
To summarize, carbon dioxide emissions from sources, as well as overconsumption and overproduction, are the
principal reasons for many environmental issues, and it is necessary to implement the given remedies to preserve the
Earth.
- The sentences tend to be far too long and wordy.
- You are using a number of incorrect/misplaced modifiers ("adversely escalated ").
5.54.5
Vũ Nguyễn Minh Tùng

It is generally recognized that nature plays an indispensable role in human life. As a result, humans will bear the brunt
of environmental contamination. This essay will analyze several methods in which humans are inflicting damage on
their natural surroundings along with some practical solutions to resolve this issue.
It is irrefutable that humans are exerting irreparable influences on the environment. To begin with, air pollution, one of
the most pressing problems affecting nature radically, is being exacerbated by enormous exhaust emissions. In
particular, an increasingly considerable volume of smoke, dust and exhaust fumes are emitted by the fact that people
are making cars their predominant form of transport. Specifically, the fact that a family in Vietnam can possess up to
four automobiles is a satisfactory evidence of the ever-increasing rate of car ownership nationwide, heightening the air
pollution level across the world. In addition, people who dispose of waste improperly are also prime perpetrators of
pollution. For instance, on account of being oblivious of the danger pollution might pose, individuals dumping rubbish
in inappropriate places, such as rivers and lakes, will make the water environment too polluted for marine population.
A number of viable measures can be taken to alleviate the situation. First, governmental funding should be earmarked
for rendering renewable energy sources accessible to residents. In other words, it is advisable that the government
allocate more money to manufacture green technology, such as hybrid vehicles with a view to dedicating to pollution
abatement. Moreover, strict regulations, especially hefty penalties should be imposed on law-breakers such as people
who do not leave rubbish in the appropriate places. Secondly, a greater number of campaigns that raise public
awareness about the deteriorating state of the environment should be mounted. Consequently, people are more likely
to resort to biodegradable packaging and recyclable materials.
In conclusion, people are destroying the environment with the high usage of private four-wheel transportation as well
as throwing rubbish irresponsibly. However, plausible solutions can be implemented to combat the pollution and
protect the planet.
- The first two sentences of the intro are too general and contribute very little to the essay,
- You are overusing the verb "to be"
7.55
Vũ Quỳnh Anh
In this day and age, it is common knowledge that the environment is constantly being destroyed by human. As a
result, the living conditions will continue to be worsened unless measures are taken. This essay will indicate the
environmental problems caused by people and suggest some plausible actions that both the authority and individuals
should take to resolve the issue.
It goes without saying that there is an array of reasons why the environment is being annihilated, however, the most
destructive is the overuse of personal vehicles. A large amount of exhaust fumes from these vehicles is released into
the atmosphere every day, which is the major cause of air pollution. This is combined with the fact there are many
more factories these days, and they deliver toxic air from the production process to the environment without purifying
it. Unfortunately, both the road users and the companies are not fully aware of how negative are their actions to the
environment.
A variety of workable solutions can be carried out to ameliorate this status quo by the government. They can impose
new laws as well as regulations to prevent unacceptable activities from damaging the environment. For example, the
manufactory will be fined heavily if they release noxious industrial waste to the rivers or to the air. In addition, the
authority should launch campaigns to raise people’s awareness on preserving our planet. Once they perceive what to
do to help, they will eventually change their attitudes towards the problems. Their choices of transportation are likely to
be altered, when they beware that using public transport will bring benefits to nature as less carbon-dioxide is
released to the atmosphere, in comparison with using their private vehicles.
In conclusion, people wreck the environment by their over reliance on individual transport and by sending
contaminated gas to the environment. Consequently, the government and the people need to have satisfactory
solutions to address the problem.
- Avoid using the passive voice.
- The writing is quite wordy and there are issues with word order.
56.5
Nguyễn Ngọc Trâm
It is common knowledge that the natural surroundings afford people a plethora of considerable merits. However, dDue
to human activates, the deterioration of the environment is becoming an escalating problem. This essay will illustrate
how man is destroying the surroundings and the appropriate measures that government or individuals could
implement to alleviate the situation.
It is irrefutable that human is inflicting profound damage on the environment. Predominantly, this degradation takes its
root from the heavy energy consumption of people. By dint of the fact there are bountiful forms of public transport as
well as private ones abound on the street, air pollution is conducive to calamitously aggravated by the exhaust fumes
emitted from those vehicles. Furthermore, the carbon dioxide emissions from the burning of fossil fuels is also
ascribed to be a detriment of natural deterioration since it gives rise to greenhouse effect. Besides, human activities,
particularly deforestation wield a substantial impact on the degradation of environmental surroundings. The excessive
exploitation of trees is likely to spawns floods and shrinking habitats, upsetting the ecological balance.
Myriads of viable solutions could be adopted to tackle the proposed issues. First and foremost, it is crucial for the
government to improve the green credentials among people. In order to ease the reliance of consumers on throwaway
appliance which is one of the primary contributors to the contamination of environment, it is essential for them to
apportion more funding to environmental-friendly ones such as recycled products and renewable energy from solar or
wind. For instance, a number of supermarkets have substituted plastic bags for paper ones, providing their customers
with reusable products. Moreover, severe ban on wrecking the natural surroundings should highly be introduced for
the purpose of serving as a deterrent to other people. Secondly, people environmental’s awareness should be
boosted. Since individuals are predisposed to shouldering responsibly should they be aware of the devastating effect
that the environmental deterioration asserts on human's life, they would call for prompt action and sustainable lifestyle.
In conclusion, human beings has sustained untold damage to the environment; therefore, it is of paramount
importance for governments and individual to provide assistance to cushion the blow of the dire state.
- You are using various words incorrectly. The writing itself is far too complicated and lacks coherence. Try to simplify
your diction and use short, clear sentences.
2.5
Bùi Hà Linh
It is widely acknowledged that humans have great impact on the environment. This essay will indicate some of the
ways in which humans are damaging the environment then convey plenty of plausible solutions to handle these
problems.
It should be borne in mind that the environment is being ruined by humans. Firstly, the use of private transportations is
one of the main perpetrators to the damage of the environment. In Vietnam or even other countries in the world,
people consider transportations such as motorbikes, cars, and so on as their primary vehicles. The more cars and
motorbikes are driven, the more carbon dioxide are produced, which will eventually results in the greenhouse effect
and increased air pollution. Secondly, there are number of individuals dumping rubbish like household waste into
places such as rivers, river banks, oceans, and so on. This will not only causes water pollution, it will also harms
wildlife and increases the risk of flooding.
Several viable solutions can be performed to tackle this issue. In particular, Individuals can partake in protecting the
environment by reducing their household waste. For example, people can use a reusable tote bag instead of a plastic
bag when go shopping. Another feasible solution is for the government to raise public awareness about environmental
abasement. Only once that people are more aware of the alarming state of the environment and its aftermath, they will
turn to a more eco-friendly lifestyle. For instance, instead of using cars, they will use bikes instead.
In conclusion, overusing fuel-powered vehicles and uncontrolled littering are the main threats to the environmental
issues. and to tackle this, reducing household waste and raising public awareness about environmental issues are the
feasible remedies.
- Avoid using "will" when describing common facts or potential consequences.
- The conclusion includes phrases identical to those used earlier in the essay. Vary your diction more.
- The essay is too short
- Where is the conclusion?
5.56
Chu Bảo Khánh

It is undeniable that human are gradually destroying the environment gradually in many ways. This essay will discuss
how the nature has been damaged, together with some potential measures that governments and individuals could
take to alleviate the problem.
There are numerous ways in which people are polluting the environment. Firstly, the number of private cars are rising
sharply, leaving the air be polluted as a repercussion. The high demands of transportation, such as travelling or going
to work, are believed to be the cause of this problem. Carbon dioxide are being released every day, not only
individuals but also factories. It takes a toll on the fresh air, spawning dust and smoke, so that the air has always been
alarmingly contaminated. Secondly, people who throw rubbish into not allowed places like rivers or the seas have
savagely killed aquatic creatures, because the water is contaminated by such things.
In order to tackle these problems, governments and individuals should take actions. A measure that has to be taken
by governments is that governments need to improve the public transportation; therefore encourage the people to use.
The reason why individuals are afraid of public bus, using their car is that buses are run-down, dirty and inconvenient.
Because buses are not always available, it will make students or worker being late, so that private car is a satisfactory
solution. So governments should install more buses and bus stop, as well as improve the facilities such as seats and
lights. Clean and reliable transport will satisfy the demands of the people, instead of using private car. Furthermore,
each person has to partake in these changes. Instead of throwing litter into the river, individuals should keep the
environment clean and unpolluted by raising awareness or hanging signs and put more trash can near lake and river.
Moreover, if possible, individuals should avoid using private transportation and use environmental-friendly ones such
as bikes. In that way, carbon dioxide emissions could be minimized.
In conclusion, the environment’s role is significant, so that governments and individuals need to cooperate, in order to
protect the environment, tackling this grave concern by some of the solutions above.
- Much of the writing is vague and underdeveloped. You need to make your arguments clearer and stronger. Also
make sure to avoid redundant/repetitive information.
- You need to organize your writing more logically and make sure to include effective transitions between sentences.
- The essay is too short. It lacks explanation for every supporting sentence.
1.5
Đinh Lâm Nhi

Nowadays, environment is an ongoing dispute on the global scale. Environmental pollution is considerably
widespread, hence it is of utter importance to find solutions towards this problem. The Causes of environment
damages, a controversial issue as well as its solution will be stated in this essay.
First and foremost, environmental pollution, markedly air pollution, results much from the world’s dense population.
Concretely, the population on the global scale at the moment is approximately eight billions people, twice as much as
that of 50 years ago. As a result, the large amount of resources such as oxygen, food, drink, to mention but a few,
must be available to satisfy people’s basic needs. Nevertheless, these supplies are limited; consequently, the factor
aforementioned will lead to pollution. Coping with this problem, the government should encourage families to have
family planning, in order to keep the world’s population at a particular level.
Secondly, a factor having a great role in causing environmental problem is people’s awareness towards the issue.
Some people do not feel conscious of the importance of their actions; therefore, they throw trash out to the road, cut
down trees in the forests, and so forth. These actions may bring benefits to themselves, but the world has to face the
result of that wrongdoings. For an example, one gets money by selling the wood that he cut from the trees in the
forest. Nonetheless, he may not know trees can photosynthesize, which helps the environment a lot in taking in
carbon dioxide and breathing out oxygen. Therefore, in order to solve the problem, an individual has to raise
awareness, understand the gravity of their actions.
In short, environmental pollution is an issue that the world is incurring today. There are causes of this question;
accordingly, people have to solve the problem.
- You need to come up with more convincing arguments and explain them more clearly.
- The "solutions" you propose are far too simplistic.
- The writing is too short but too wordy at the same time, and containings a great deal of redundant information.
41.5
Nguyễn Chu Việt Tiến
It is believed that human greed and interference have caused innumerable damage on the environment. This essay
will analyze some ways in which people are harming the ecosystem and propose some effective measurements for
them.
To begin with, people are attributed to so much devastation of the ecosystem that we can be considered as the most
invasive species that exist on the Earth. Particularly, so as to producing high-quality furniture, musical instruments and
so on, people widely deforest the Earth as well as invading numerous living habitat. This leads to biodiversity loss and
the demise of countless species on the planet which might endanger the balance of life. Furthermore, there are also
several problems of pollution and natural disaster stemming from the act of overexploitation. For example, Vietnamese
people exploit such excessive amount of sand that the construction of soil has been severely demolished. As a result,
when the flood season occurs, the damage it causes are much more drastic and life-threatening damage.
Fortunately, there are several feasible solutions to mitigate this problem. One possible measure is for governments to
impose efficient policies such as prosecuting or charging people who damage the environment. Besides, campaigns
should be established by government in order to raise people’s awareness of the significance of the natural world. In
terms of individuals, people should consider changing their lifestyle to a more environmentally friendly way. In
particular, this meant that they should travel responsibly by using public transport to reduce pollution, eating
sustainably with a view to not cause wildlife extinction and so on.
In conclusion, the ecosystem has been harming severely due to overexploitation, deforestation or others’ ways that
are made by human. However, this problem can be tackled by the government and human themselves with viable
solutions.
- You are using several words incorrectly.
- A few of your points are unclear and vague.
4.5
Trần Đặng Minh Châu

In recent years, owing to the rapid growth of the modern society, the environment has been tremendously damaged.
This essay will raise the burning issue of environment and the measures that governments and individuals can take to
curb the problem.
It is widely believed that the contamination of human's forces is the biggest threat to the natural surroundings. Exhaust
fumes from private vehicles and gas emitted from factories have largely comprised to global warming and produced a
devastating effect on the ecosystem in the very near future. Moreover, the exponential growth of human population
has resulted in more and more forests being cut down for residential land and greater quantities of waste which
directly pollute rivers and seas.
Given that the problems are becoming more drastic, governments could still certainly make more effort in tackling the
environmental issues. Heavier legislations must be introduced with the aim to limiting gases from factories and
vehicles. making them opt for a more environmental friendly solutions such as using renewable energy from solar,
wind and encouraging commuters to use public transport instead of their personal motor vehicles.
Individuals should also play their parts in dealing with the global issue by starting to recycle as much as possible. For
instance, customers could make use of reusable bags in supermarkets rather than plastic bags. By doing this, each
person can start recycling on their own and help to minimize the total amount of waste.
All in all, human's deeds have drastically impacted on the environment for years. However, with the help of
government in implementing new laws and individuals recycling, the damage could certainly be eased in the near
future.
- You are using a number of words incorrectly.
6.5
Khuất Bảo Ngọc

It is common knowledge that there is an inevitable link between humans and nature. However, the downgrade in the
quality of the environment in recent decades took a huge impact on people’s living standard. This essay will point out
some ways in which the environment is being destroyed by humanity.
It is observable that human doings are wrecking the nature. First, a massive power reduction is a major problems of
enviromental issues. In fact, the large amounts of carbon dioxide from fuel-powered vehicles’ engines affected the air,
which cause green house effect. For instance, a research shown that the larger amount of vehicles is in a city, the
more polluted the atmosphere is due to the usage of it. Second, a massive number of plastic bags which can only be
used one spawned a thrown-away society, in which creating more toxic and unreusable rubbish, led to an overloads in
landfills and pollution of water sources.
Several solutions can be brought about as to reduce the harmfullnessv to the environment. Firstly, the government
should raise more fund to the green power, which is a key to lessen carbon-intensive power resources. For example,
the usage of renewable energy of vehicles should be thought of, due to the development of technology. This will cut
down on the consumption of fossil fuels and the poisonous fume. Secondly, campaigns which raise public awareness
about the over use of needless energy. They would be nudged torwards a toxic-less lifestyle.
In conclusion, the usage of conventional power and goods are the primary reasons behind environmental issues., and
the solutions adopted in order to protect the planet.
- The writing lacks coherence and is quite wordy.
- You need to develop your arguments more.
- There are several basic spelling and grammar mistakes. You are also using several words incorrectly. You need to
proofread your writing more carefully.
14
vũ quang huy
It is common knowledge that humans’ home –the Earth is deteriorating sharply from time to time and I firmly believe
that it is the result of humans’ effects on our planet. In this essay, I will list some of the ways humans have been
ruining the environment and a couple of plausible solutions which governments and individual people can do to save
the day.
It is undeniable that the planet has been wrecked by human. First and foremost, the primary factor that leads to
environmental problems is the huge amount of wastes from production and human daily activities. In fact, massive
exhaust emissions from manufacturing factories and from means of transport have severely worsen the water and air
pollution. Moreover, each people’s unawareness also takes a tremendous part in contaminating the environment.
Researchings show that one Vietnamese discharges 1,2kg a day into the planet on average, and 16% of which is
plastic. According to my knowledge, plastics often takes hundreds or even thousands years to decompose,
consequently , with such monumental aforementioned amount of rubbish, our whole collective house is being
swamped by litter. Unless human takes actions right now, we will not only get rid of ourselves but also put other
creatures from all over the world on the brink of dead.
There are several viable solutions which can be applied to prevent the Earth from this dire situation. In the first place,
governments’ strength and power should be used in intensifying the development of green technology, focusing on the
nature rather than economic profits . At the same time, they ought to clamp down on the environment exacerbation
activities of factories or manufacturers. Secondly, raising public awareness about the environmental degradation
should be concentrated, too. Only when people acknowledge the human effects on the planet and the repercussions
of a polluted environment, they are able to change their lifestyles into greener way , such as litter in the right place,
use cloth bags instead of plastic ones, walk, cycle or use public transports rather than driving cars.,…
In a nutshell, the huge amount of wastes in production and human daily activities as well as people’s unawareness are
the main elements resulting in the environmental descent degradation. and some of the above solutions should be
ubiquitously adopted to save the Earth before too late.
- You are using a number of words incorrectly.
- There are various grammar issues.
- Pay more attention to punctuation (there is no space in front of a comma/period).
- Avoid using the 1st person voice.
- The conclusion includes phrases identical to those used earlier in the essay. Vary your diction more.
45
Lưu Phương Thảo
Today, as technology develops and the society flourishes, the environment is at times ignored and damaged. There
are certain causes to this deterioration in nature and as a result, urgent actions must be taken.
One of the main threats to nature currently is pollution. In major cities and trading centers around the world, economic
growth has come at the cost of the environment. While the economy is vital to a country, it must also consider its
environmental state. Therefore, countries should implement and prioritize more environmentally friendly industries,
thus reducing their impact on the environment.
Deforestation is also a source of harm to the environment, causing forests to slowly disappear from the Earth’s
surface. Illegal poaching and forest fires has contributed greatly to this and governments must act to prevent this.
Stricter laws can be passed and preservation sites can also be built to protect forests.
All in all, people have contributed to the destruction of nature in many ways and certain steps must be taken now or it
will be too late.
- The essay is too short. The arguments and much of the language are too vague and of very little substance.
1.53.5
Đinh Mmạnh Đức

Environmental issues are among the most preponderant topics of concern to people since it is increasingly prevalent
in today’s world. This perennial problem is alleged to be caused by two major factors and can be alleviated with some
viable solutions stated in this essay.
That the environment is continually contaminated is likely to be caused primarily by the explosive growth of private
vehicles ownership, especially in metropolises. Due to the inferior quality of public transportation, personal motor
vehicles take precedence over commuting on mutual transports, such as bus or train. In addition, tremendous
advances in daily life has benefited the population’s growing process, leading to more individuals have an insatiable
demand for private modes of transport. As a consequence of a considerable number of transports, a huge amount of
toxic exhaust is emitted. Those fumes inherently wield pernicious influences on the air quality by producing
greenhouse gases trapped in the atmosphere and causing global warming.
To resolve the problems asscociated with the environment, the government should implement repressive measures to
suspend human’s activities which are having detrimental effects on the nature. To compensate for the damages made
to the environment, each individual and company should be required to incur a harsh penalty in accordance with their
carbon footprint or illegal actions to the environment. Another solution is for the government to enhance the currently
poor quality of public communication systems, as an incentivize for residents to use eco-friendly vehicles.
In conclusion, since environmental affairs around the world are mostly resulted from aforementioned human’s
activities and habits; however, we can adopt feasible solutions to address the problems as I have stated above.
- The writing is quiteshort but too wordy, and containings a lot of redundant information.
- You should come up with additional points (reasons/solutions).
Lưu Thảo Anh

The Environment, as never before, is currently of great concern to humanity. It is inevitable that this world is ever-
evolving - and this fact proves to have its pros and cons, whereas the cons take the lead. On no account should this
issue be neglected - as a matter of fact, this essay will take all the causes and the solutions of environmental damage
into account.
Environmental destruction stems from a plethora of reasons. The only thing here is humanity’s craving for luxury and
convenience. For instance, private motor vehicles, so conducive are those means of transport that have become an
unlasting trend amidst urban habituation of travelling from places to places. People just simply cannot resist their
temptations of driving in their intimate car, with cozy leather seats and music of their type to hustle themselves on a
packed-up bus without adequate seats and even oxygens - upon acknowledging the fact that private transportations
are the major cause of air pollution. Another example is our furniture. Instead of other compatible alternatives, it is
wood that is preferred in manufacturing housing items - consequently, trees are being chopped down every day; by
then trees are sparsely distributed, thus increasing the impact of natural catastrophe on people.
With a view to hampering destructive outcomes, we need to undertake specific actions as soon as possible. For their
part, Individuals may tolerate some discomfort inside public transports so as to reduce the emissions. Societies may
raise awareness amongst the community about substituting other materials for housing products in replacement of
natural woods - such as composite woods. At the same time, Governments may introduce more suitable transport
facilities in order to draw citizen’s attention to the use of public vehicles.
It is undeniable that such a perpetuating problem cannot be completely resolved in a day or two. - what is required
here is the public’s camaraderie and contribution.
- Many of the sentences are convoluted and FAR too long but the essay still lacks the necessary number of words.
- You are using various words incorrectly. Your diction should be simpler and more precise.
- You need to provide clear explanation for your claims.
- You also need to use more effective transitions.
24.5
Đỗ Minh Đan Anh

Nature is a network of intimately and somewhat holistically interconnected living structures, us human included.
However, it has been evident that our lifestyles are degrading environmental quality, which would in turn brings about
undesirable effects on us. In this essay, I will further elaborate on the different ways humans are causing harm to the
environment along with plausible solutions as individuals and governments to alleviate the problematic situation.
One of the key factors that contributes to environmental pollution is the way we travel and purchase goods. Household
waste treated incorrectly has been shown to cause water, air and soil pollution, and this is a direct consequence of
mass consumption. Technology has made the manufacture process of all kinds of products more economical, less
time-consuming and readily available to everyone, thus encouraging customers to shop more frequently and
carelessly, and to squander unnecessary products that seem apealling at first glance. Furthermore, advances in
commercial transportation has allowed the widespread of easy travelling. The rise of personal vehicle use in the past
decade is a major determinant in exacerbating air pollutions in big cities.
As serious as this problem is, there are multiple reasonable ways to tackle it. One possible solution is for governments
to implement taxes on companies whose work adversely effects their natural surroundings, or products that are
detrimental to the environment, like plastic bags and single-use utensils, while supporting small, local and
environmentally friendly businesses. As individuals, one can adapt a more sustainable lifestyle and try getting into
greener habits, such as using public transportations and reusable containers.
In conclusion, our travelling and consuming are hugely responsible for the negative impacts on our planet. By taking
necessary measures, one of those includes altering our buying and travelling habits, we can compensate for the
adverse effects on the environment.
- Avoid using the 1st person plural.
- The essay could be organized more logically (in terms of connecting ideas and avoiding redundant information).
- Make sure you use the correct words (affect X effect, adapt X adopt).
4.5
Khổng Minh Thư

In today's modern world, the environment is in great danger. Humans are doing too much mutilation to the natural
world, which is posing a serious threat to the planet. In this essay, sources of this problem will be explained
specifically before the solutions of governments and individuals are given.
There are many causes attributed to the problem of damaging the environment. Firstly, overpopulation is one of the
most important factors, more people means that the demand for food is also increasing. Therefore, the yield of
existing farmland can be increased through intensive farming to feed our rapidly growing population. Due to this, more
unspoiled land will be destroyed to give way for farmland, which will require a lot of pesticides and chemicals fertilizer
to be created, thus leading to soil erosion and depletion. Secondly, modernization of cities is also doing a lot of
damage to the environment. More and more skyscrapers are being put up to serve the needs of people, which
produces tons of dust and harmful gases into the air. Finally, the overuse of fossil fuels also makes the situation
worse. Climate change has grown hand in hand as the use of fossil fuels has exploded to support industrialized
societies. This is also the main reason for global warming, a potential disaster in the future.
To cope with this issue, both governments and individuals have to take actions as soon as possible. For their part,
Governments need to bring in stricter laws to reduce the use of fossil fuels and the building of factories, which will help
the environment to be cleaner. They can also use the media to inform every citizen about the seriousity of the
problem. Beside this, individuals are also playing an important role in the scheme of protecting the environment. They
can begin to recycle, reuse and compost, these simple actions can cut down on waste as old items can be turned into
new ones. Wise selections of vehicles such as the least damaging ones can also help to lessen the impact on the
environment. For example, using a bike is always “greener’’ than a motorcycle, a bus for twenty people is always less
harmful than five cars for four people.
To summarize, the environment is being put at great risk because of many humans’ activities; however, we can make
things right if both governments and individuals become more aware of this problem and take immediate actions to
protect the natural world.
- You need to make your arguments more concise and make sure they are directly relevant to the prompt.
- The writing is wordy.
2.5.5
Hoàng Nguyễn Nhật Minh

There is no denying that nature plays a key role in human life. However, the escalating problem of the deteriorating
environment has had an adverse effect on the present society. This essay will analyze how the environment is being
destroyed and propose a myriad of plausible measures to tackle this problem.
It is irrefutable that the biodiversity is being ruined by human beings. Firstly, gas emissions from factories and exhaust
fumes from vehicles deal a great blow to the air quality. In fact, people are indulging in materialism, imposing a great
deal of burden on modern industry to produce promptly to meet their demand; thereby causing a massive plenitude of
exhaust emissions. In addition, not only the gas emissions but also the rocketing rate of fuel-powered vehicles’
utilization has taken a heavy toll on the atmosphere in major cities. Secondly, a substantial quantity of waste
discharged from human’s daily activities has catastrophically exacerbated the ecosystem. Owing to the effortless, as
well as cost-effective possession of consumer goods, a throw-away society has been established, paving the way for
more household waste, overloading landfills, and contaminated water pollutants.
There is every likelihood that a profusion of viable solutions will be put into practice to mitigate this situation. In the first
place, the government should introduce laws to keep a tight rein on the emissions from factories in manufacture.
Additionally, green taxes are likely to be enforced on the majority of human activities towards the environment, which
is a determinant of raising public awareness. Secondly, Iindividuals should also take responsibility to lower pollution by
taking public transportation in lieu of driving; thus offsetting carbon emissions. Moreover, people ought to advocate the
operation of reusable or biodegradable products as opposed to plastic bags to moderate the alarmingly deleterious
plastic consumption. Consequently, should these actions be taken earnestly, the acute repercussions of the existing
issues will be prevented.
In conclusion, the excessive discharge of detrimental fumes as well as daily household waste is a major contributors
to environmental problems. and several feasible solutions are ensued to help address this issue.
- You need to develop your arguments more and explain them clearly.
57.5
Phạm Khánh Linh

It is evident that nature is an indispensable aspect of human’s lives. Nevertheless, the environment has been spoilt by
humans’ daily activities over the last decades. This essay will interpret certain ways in which humans are ruining the
environment in conjunction with some feasible solutions.
To begin with, the destruction of natural resources stems from overharvesting of forests. In fact, numerous companies,
organizations or even individuals have exploited wood considerably in order to meet the customers’ demands as well
as make a profit. This act has posed a threat to animal’s lives and habitats and has produced more carbon emissions.
For instance, in Vietnam, slash and burn farming have been an insolvable issue, contributed to the disappearance of
various species of flora and fauna, along with a rise in air pollution. Additionally, unsatisfactory waste treatment is also
detrimental to nature. The fact that goods these days are being produced excessively to serve the growing population
has already been a burden to the environment. But it is the waste treatment that exacerbate nature, as the lack of
appropriate waste treatment equipment and facilities has resulted in unbridled industrial and household waste in rivers
or oceans, hence water pollution.
Workable solutions from individuals and governments can be executed to tackle the mentioned issues. As for
governments, strict punishments are the key factor. Inconsiderate actions such as littering, cutting trees without
permission and so on, should be fined heavily. Facing these rigid regulations, people have no option but to comply
with them. As for individuals, they should learn about environmental facts on their own initiative and popularize their
knowledge with a view to raising others’ awareness. Once people are aware of the environmental depletion and its
repercussions, they would transfer it into practical actions, such as refrain from using nylon bags and utilize kraft
paper.
In conclusion, overexploitation of forest resources and abysmal waste processing are the principal causes of
environmental issues. Consequently, it is necessary for the government to be strict and it is crucial for the people to be
responsible.
- There are a few issues with word order and the language could be more precise.
Bùi Hoàng Bảo Thư

It is an unequivocal fact that human beings have something to do with environmental deterioration. Hence, this
essay’s aim is to specifically analyze several human-borne activities damaging the ecological system and to propose
viable solutions to these issues.
In the first place, it is beyond doubt that humans exert deleterious effects on the natural habitat. Firstly, poisonous
waste is continuously discharged into the environment in an undisciplined way. In fact, although it is a common
knowledge that plastic-based products are injurious to creatures and seldom dissolvable, the miserable scenes of
piles of used plastic bags drifting on rivers or lying scattered on the streets by humans seem not to strike people as
abnormal. Secondly, human’s extravagant intrusion of forests is an alarming concern. The Insatiable desire for
prosperity has accordingly spurred humans on gaining illicit earnings by means of excessively illegal logging for
commerce, leading to catastrophic deforestation.
In the second place, that authorities and people propose feasible ways to resolve the issues is of critical importance.
Initially, it is vital for national leaders to tighten the laws, outlawing activities that are detrimental to the environment.
For example, disorderly disposal of garbage needs prohibition, and offenders therefore have to suffer severe
punishment. The more rigorous regulations are, the more conscious and obedient people will be. In addition, citizens
are necessarily fully acknowledged about the undesirable consequences of environmental pollution via both education
and media. Evidently, properly equipped residents with pivotal knowledge is the bridge to a more civilized society and
a more pure natural habitat.
In conclusion, since the environment is significantly damaged due to humans’ activities, it is about time the authorities
and inhabitants unanimously unearthed workable measures to tackle it.
- The language could be more precise. Keep up the good work!
7.58
Nguyễn Phương Thảo

In modern times, the fact that humans are deteriorating the environment’s health is gaining a great deal of public
attention. Although this trend can be attributed to a host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be considered to
address this.
There are a few alluring reasons why humans create much detriments to the environment. First, one of the major
factors that worsen the environment is pollution. For example, while dumping wastes and sewage into lakes and rivers
causes water pollution, using means of transport that emits harmful fumes pollutes the air. Second, exploitation of
natural resources and wasting play no small role in degenerating the environment. Obviously, when humans use the
raw materials they found in the environment in large quantities, they would waste and exploit to the point when none is
left.
Coexisting with an unhealthy environment is bad, there are achievable solutions to solve this negative trend. First, in
order to galvanize people to start saving the environment, local officials have to organize regular environmental
campaigns regularly. For example, the campaigns can emphasize the detrimental effects of plastic bags and
recommend some green alternatives, like paper bags, which is not only beneficial for the environment but also the
public health. Second, individuals have to be thoroughly and clearly educated about the serious threats that they are
either purposefully or accidentally posing to the environment. For example, some people may like to use plastic cups
at home in order not to trouble themselves with the chore of washing, therefore they need to be told that plastic is
extremely detrimental to the environment and they need to stop.
In conclusion, humans are in one way or another damaging the only home they have. By considering the proper
actions to consult this problem, the environment can return to its original and healthy state.
- The diction is far too informal. You need to use more academically appropriate language.
- You need to develop your arguments more and provide clearer explanations.
14.5
Nguyễn Bùi Vi Thảo

As the world develops, the negative influences that human have on the environment have become a perenial problem.
This is an extremely complicated issue to solve, yet, not impossible. This essay will discuss about the causes of
environmental degradation and propose some viable solutions for this problem.
There are myriads of ways in which people are causing damage to the environment. Numerous countries worldwide
harm their natural surroundings in the process of developing their economy. To illustrate, the industrial waste, which is
often discharged into water bodies, is tremendously detrimental to marine species’ habitat and food source. In
addition, deforestation also occurs due to trees being cut down for the purpose of making profit. These
aforementioned examples are regarded as one of the driving factors attributed to environmental issues. Another
pushing factor worth- mentioning is the emission of harmful gas from vehicles. This is one of the main causes of low
air quality, especially in urban areas. Since air is crucial to all living creatures, air pollution caused by this not only
affects people but also plants and animals.
Despite the severe damage that human has done to the environment, there are still ways to improve the situation.
Firstly, governments should comg up with methods to combine developing financially and protecting the ecosystem.
For instance, industrial waste must be treated before being released into lakes and ponds and trees should be planted
to replace the ones that have been chopped off. Secondly, to help curb air pollution, individuals should consider using
public transports such as buses or subway. This may help curbing air polution. This can make a difference since the
number of people using personal vehicles is extremely huge. These are the few simple, yet effective ways to help the
environment.
In conclusion, environmental issues are caused by certain human’s activities. People should have practical solutions
and take action to tackle this problem.
- You are overusing the verb "to be"
- The writing could be more concise.
Nguyễn Mai Chi

It is the responsibility of the people to protect the environment, especially in the ever-evolving world. However,
humans have also impacted the environment negatively, and this essay will discuss further into the major factors and
possible methods to tackle the ongoing issues circulating around the environment.
The environment suffers from drawbacks of human’s daily manufactures and activities — causing pollution. First and
foremost in this category is air pollution. Toxic gas emissions and exhaust fumes are released in the manufacturing
process of factories, or directly from vehicles. Noxious fumes emissions are unavoidable, thereby, the planet will have
to bear a more catastrophic effect, such as the “greenhouse effect”. Secondly, human waste also leads to some
problems — soil and water pollution. Thrown-aways cannot be avoided, and all the waste will end up in water or in the
ground, and eventually deteriorate the quality of the area. This significantly worsened as the population is on a boom
in the recent decades, and the number of changing trends in every year is increasing.
There are several courses of action that the government can take notice of, aiming directly at reducing pollution. They
could bring new policies into effect, suggestable ones are restricting the gas emissions, only allowing factories to
release a certain amount in a period of time. Industries will the amount of toxic fumes exceeding the limit have to pay
money, or for their taxes to be increased. People’s awareness towards the ongoing problems should be raised, which
would be most effective on a national scale. The government should take actions to promote ways to address
environmental suffers, such as through speeches or volunteer programs.
For their part, Individuals should also fulfil their duties in helping to tackle the ever-going issues, both behavioral and
through actions. To reduce exhaust fumes, people can take public transportation in replacement of their private
vehicles. Not using single-use plastic can also help decrease the number of plastic waste on the planet, as well as
build a new habit of using products of recyclable materials. Finally, they can spread the idea of saving earth from
pollution with people around, and to a point where it is not only an area that knows about the issues, but the whole
world hand-in-hand in recovering the environment.
In conclusion, people are damaging the environment and at this rate, both the government and individuals will have to
take action to solve the issues.
- The essay should be organized more logically. You include quite a bit of redundant/repetitive information, while
certain parts of the essay are too general and underdeveloped.
- The writing is also quite wordy.
45.5
Hoàng Ngọc Thảo Anh

Human depend heavily on profuse resources of the environment. around them; however, when living standard and
demand are gradually rising, people have inadvertently spoilt it. To give better explanation for this idea, this essay will
discuss deeply how people have done harm to the environment and consequently point out some of the measures
governments and individuals can take to solve this issue.
There are numerous reasons leading to the alert condition of the environment. The Exhausted fumes released daily
from vehicles and factories released every day that contain carbon dioxide are leading to air pollution and huge
consequences afterwards. Besides, garbage and toxic substances from human’s daily activities and laboratories
dumped into rivers, lakes and oceans have threatened source of water and marine life. Furthermore, habitats of
wildlife are being destroyed and subsequently cause the extinction of certain types of animals and the ecological
imbalance.
Due to those aforementioned matters, governments should take it seriously and impose heavier laws on industries
that directly contribute to air pollution. On the other hand, they can concentrate on developing public transportation to
reduce the amount of private one. What is more, encouraging society to use recyclable produces and building more
factories that are responsible for handling toxic chemicals will decrease considerably issues of water pollution.
For their part, Individuals should do something to improve the environment as well. Each of them can do volunteer
works such as collecting rubbish on the beaches and streets or just simply putting litter in the right places. Other thing
they can do is promoting the importance of the environment to everyone via social media or organizing campaigns.
In conclusion, environment are playing a significant role in human’s life but being damaged severely; therefore, both
governments and individuals should take prompt action to prevent it from being exploited.
- You are overusing gerunds. The language should be more direct and concise.
- There are several issues with word order.
4.56
Bùi Thanh Hằng

Over the last decades, the environmental degradation has become a boiling issue all over the world. As humans are
the culprit of the overusing of plastic, which has made an incredible amount of marine creatures die, they are the one
to be blamed. There has been several questions that have been raised about how the government and individuals do
to address this problem. This essay will propose some possible solution to solve this problem.
Although the deterioration of the environment has many causes, I believed that humans overuse of plastic is the
biggest problem. Single use plastic is the type of plastic that can only be used once before they are thrown away, and
have caused the death of many types of marine creatures. According to the United Nations, at least 800 species
worldwide are affected by marine debris, and as much as 80% of that litter is plastic. Fish, seabirds, sea turtles, or
even whales can mistake those plastics as their food and eat them, which have caused suffocation and then lead to
death. But the effect of plastic does not stop at the ocean, as plastics can also affect the global temperature.
According to WWF, almost all plastic is derived from materials such as ethylene and propylene, which are made from
fossil fuels. Because of this fact, the manufacture of plastic containers will create billions of tons of greenhouse gases,
therefore making the temperature rise. Plastic does not only affects the biodiversity, but also on global warming.
Because plastic is difficult, even impractical to be easily collected and recycled, I believe that the government should
completely ban single-use plastic, or plastic altogether. Plastic straws and plastic bags will be produced with a more
eco-friendly material like paper, therefore reduce the amount of plastic that citizens discharged into the environment
per year. Not only the government, individuals can also participate in the process of eliminating plastic. They can buy
bar soap instead of liquid, give up plastic plates and cups when drinking milk tea or eating fast food. With everyone
cutting use of plastics, I believe that people from all around the world will be able to cut down further damage to the
environment.
Plastic can have major effects of plastics on the environment, but I believe that if all the citizens and the government
can take the right measure, this problem will be solved sooner or later.
- You are overusing the 1st person voice and the words "I believe"
- You should use more effective transitions.
7.57
Nguyễn Khánh Linh

These days, a clean environment is extremely significant to humans' life since it helps us to live comfortably without
having to be worried about contracting various diseases. Important as it may be, the environment is still being
damaged by some irresponsible people. This essay will illustrate some ways in which humans are destroying the
environment before providing some plausible solutions to alleviate the situation.
It is apparent that the nature is being wrecked by human activities. Firstly, the most common issue is littering in
inappropriate places which is simply caused by laziness. Many people choose to dump their rubbish in the middle of
the street rather than walk 5 minutes to the rubbish tip. When walking in Ha Noi, people can easily catch sight of many
small things laying randomly on the ground such as cigarettes, sweets and wrappers. Many people even throw down
rubbish while driving which is very dangerous since it can hit other people and distract them long enough to cause a
severe accident. The second most infamous factor that damages the environment is the exhaust fumes and waste
water from factories. The exhaust fumes can result in air pollution while waste water can result in water pollution. The
contaminated air may cause respiratory problems which are detrimental to our health.
There are several satisfactory solutions to counteract the issue, whether by the governments or individually. Firstly,
green technology should be developed more quickly by the governments in order to make the world a greener place.
For instance, hybrid vehicles and renewable energies will come in handy, replacing other non-environmentally friendly
ones. Secondly, self-awareness is another significant factor, every small efforts count so do not say that only one
person can not save the world, that is just an excuse. Moreover, people should spread the words, creating a campaign
in protecting the environment which will slowly turn into a trend that everyone follows.
In conclusion, although the environment is constantly being hurt, I still nurture the belief that the government and
individuals can take care of the situation so as to protect our lovely planet.
- The writing is far too informal.
- Make sure to only include relevant details that contribute to your argument.
45
Nguyễn Diệu Hương

Since time immemorial, the interrelationship between human life and the nature has been appreciated. As the
environment is spoilt on an escalating level, life quality encounters severe hardship. This essay will pinpoint some
ways in which humans are ruining the ecosystem and enumerate viable solutions.
The environment is unquestionably being damaged by human activities. Firstly, irresponsible disposal of waste
accounts for a major proportion. Every day, myriads of household waste such as nilon bags plastic bottles, are directly
discarded into the nature, which leads to water pollution, soil degradation and so forth. As to those from factories and
agriculture, the toxic chemical substances even exacerbate the situation. Besides, it is evident that excessive
exploitation of resources inflicts an adverse effect on the nature. This practice not only causes resource depletion but
also serious pollution. For example, the indiscriminate harnessing of trees may result in oxygen depletion in the
atmosphere and high risk of floods as well.
There are several feasible measures to address these problems. Firstly, the government should impose a ban on
uncontrolled waste discharge. For instance, by enforcing people to classify garbage and not to litter, the environment
will be significantly ameliorated. Secondly, it is advisable to utilize eco-friendly resources in lieu of non-biodegradable
ones. It can be the modification of energy sources from burning fossil to environmentally friendly ones such as solar
energy and wind energy. In fact, experts project that solar energy will, in all probability, supersede any other sources
of energy in the future.
To conclude, the inappropriate waste disposal and undue resource harnessing are the two primary factors of the
deterioration of the environment., thus the aforementioned solutions should be applied to tackle these problems.
- The paragraph dealing with solutions should include more specific information.
- There are a few sentence structure issues.
6.5
Nguyễn Hồng Nhung

In today's ever-changing world, the constant strive for progress have lead humans to great achievements but in doing
so, humans have also tainted their own environment. This essay will discuss human's impacts on the environment and
methods for individuals or governments to engage in these problems.
On one hand, humans damage their enviroment by many ways: deforestation, pollution, ovepopulation and so on. It is
because of these changes that the climate changes, the soil erodes, the air quality plummetes and water sources
become undrinkable. For instance, according to the Air Quality Index or the AQI for short, Vietnam is suffering from
some of the worst air pollution ever recorded. In 2019, there were only 8 days when Hanoi registered a Pm level of
below average. In a similar case, pesticides and other chemicals have been found in the Antartic ice sheets. Another
problem is plastic waste are constantly being thrown in to the ocean. This results in the various marine animals dying
due to suffocation. Therefore, myriads of life forms are affected by these actions of human beings.
On the other hand, there are many things that individuals and governments can do to at least improve the situation.
Firstly, governments can make a difference simply by supporting small local producers who cares about land
restoration, making crops and animals more resilient to climate change. Futhermore, they can promote the use of
green energy, such as solar or wind power and so forth. Secondly, individuals can part take in a movement to raise
public awareness about the urgency of the problem. Or more simply, recycle plastics and encourage the use of
environmental-friendly products.
In conclusion, with all the reasons above, i believe that actions should be taken now before the effects become
irreversible.
- There are quite a few basic spelling mistakes.
- The essay should be organized more logically. You include quite a bit of redundant information, while leaving other
points insufficiently developed.
- You need to use more effective transitions.
4.2.5
Vương Anh Minh

The rate at which the nature is being damaged through human activities is alarming. This essay is to shed light on
how human is damaging the environment, as well as on some measures we can take to solve the ever-increasing
environmental hazards throughout the world.
It is evident that people are damaging the environment by contaminating the air and water. Firstly, we worsen the air
pollution by making fuel-powered vehicles, especially automobiles, our primary transportation. The more cars are
driven, the more carbon dioxide is produced. As a result, the rocketing rate of car ownership among the population
have rendered the air quality in major cities very low. This is compounded by the enormous energy consumption in
production. It is regarded as a major contributor to the environmental problem due to the catastrophic exacerbation
caused by the massive exhaust emissions released from the combustion of fossil fuels for manufacturing. Moreover,
there are individuals who dump rubbish in inappropriate places, such as rivers, which does harm to the water supply.
Their reckless actions have certainly put many animal species under threat of extinction.
With a view to tackling the aforementioned issues, we need to consider some feasible solutions. Firstly, governments
should implement a pollution threshold for factories. For example, if a company produces more pollution than the
permitted threshold, it will be fined. Therefore, industrial companies would take necessary measures to reduce their
waste. Another one is to improve the public transportation system in order to encourage people travel by bus, train
and so on. Additionally, individuals can also protect the environment, for instance, by reducing household waste or
going to desired destinations on foot to minimized the pollution caused by vehicles.
In conclusion, mankind is damaging the nature in many ways. Therefore, governments and individuals must try their
best to protect the environment.
- The writing could be simplified in places.
87
Trần Như Gia Huy

Since eons ago, the adaptive system to today's ever-changing and demanding world has pertained to the grave risk of
pollution. To face this alarming issue, both the authority and individual must seek solutions to revamp the devastated
ecosystem. In this essay, I will highlight the damaging causes as well as the means of resolving this hazardous
situation.
There is no denying that the Earth has been suffering from various human developments since the dawn of time.
Firstly, any advancements in the industrial field will likely ensure a tremendous amount of factory waste. As a result,
not only does this discharge poses a threat to nature's delightful scenery, but also it will give rise to an abundance of
contaminated areas. Secondly, people are directly causing pollution through the misuse of nonreusable materials and
chemical substances. Aside from taking a long time to decompose fully, the soil and the water source of garbage
disposals will certainly become wastelands.
Due to those foresaid actions, must both authority and individual seek suitable solutions to the environmental
problems. To start with, governments must take judicial reinforcement such as increasing taxes and restricting
industrial lands or implement alterations to the manufacturing process. For instants, such changes to the power supply
from combusting fossil fuel to utilizing water and solar energy will surely save plenty of natural resources. Apart from
the government measure, each person could also take part to help protect mother nature. As an illustration, the 3Rs
Initiative, which refered to reuse, reduce, and recycle, has proven to be highly practical to minimized waste. Another
quick and easy method is to adopt eco-friendly products like long-lasting light bulbs, reusable-material based items.
In conclusion, although human destructive behaviors to the environment still exist, measurement to save the situation
is available to both the authorities and individuals.
- The sentences are poorly connected to one another.
- The writing is convoluted and lacks a logical progression.
- There are various grammar and word order issues.
24.5
võ hà trang
In this day and age, it is common knowledge that humans are mainly responsible for the huge variety of environmental
problems that, in recent decades, have taken a heavy toll on the human population itself. This essay will discuss the
ways in which humans are contaminating the environment then outline several plausible solutions to this pressing
issue.
While there are numerous reasons for the deterioration of the environment, air pollution and waste are two of the
major threats to the environment. First, energy consumption in manufacturing and every day life is a primary
contributor to global warming as well as environmental degradation. For example, the gas emissions from factories or
exhaust fumes from vehicles, which both stem from fossil fuel combustion, can catastrophically exacerbate air
pollution. Secondly, as the human population rises at a rocketing rate, the mass production of inexpensive products
and goods, especially disposable items is increasing rapidly and contributing to the ever-growing amount of waste.
This could overload landfills with garbage and leaves water sources, such as rivers and oceans, alarmingly
contaminated.
There are a number of measures in which the government and individuals can take to tackle these issues. First of all,
the government should allocate more resources to developing and improving greener options for consumers. To give
an example, it should be high on the agenda of governments to provide funding for green technology such as hybrid
vehicles or renewable energy. Second, the government should launch new campaigns and intensify the existing ones
in order to raise the public awareness furthermore on the dire state of the environment. Once people are conscious of
environmental pollution, they will be nudged towards committing to a more sustainable lifestyle whereby people could,
for instance, replace single-use plastic bags with more eco-friendly options, such as reusable cotton bags.
In summary, the unbridled use of conventional energy and consumption of goods are the two key reasons entwined
with severe environmental problems and it is proposed that the government and individuals adopt certain solutions so
as to protect the environment.
- You should use more effective transitions. Excellent work so far!
8.5.5
Trần Lê Tuệ Anh

It is irrefutable that human life is inextricably entwined with the environment. Hence, environmental degradation in
recent years has imposed adverse effects on the society in its entirety. This essay will illustrate several ways in which
people are damaging nature and propose some feasible countermeasures to tackle this pressing problem.
The negative environmental impact caused by human activities are unequivocal. Firstly, the excessive emissions in
production can be ascribed to various environmental issues. For instance, chemical waste from industrial facilities can
catastrophically aggravate water pollution should the waste be discarded into rivers and streams. Furthermore,
exhaust emissions from the combustion of fossil fuels spurred by the increasing use of conventional vehicles have
taken a heavy toll on the air quality as they contain pollutants that can contaminate the atmosphere. Secondly, the
escalating human population is also attributable to the deterioration of environmental quality. As the population
proliferates, enormous quantities of waste are generated, leaving cities all over the world in an appalling state of
pollution.
Although tackling these environmental problems can be a formidable challenge, several viable solutions can be
implemented to resolve the aforementioned issues. First, countries should turn to greener substitutes for
nonrenewable energy sources because of their minimal impact on nature. Renewables have extremely low carbon
footprint compared to fossil fuels, and, given the dire consequences fossil fuels have brought to the environment, the
switch to carbon-free sources of energy is imperative. Second, governments should earmark funding for campaigns
that strive to raise public awareness about environmental deterioration. The publicity surrounding this matter can give
people insights into the current state of the environment, thus making them more inclined to choose a sustainable
lifestyle.
In conclusion, emissions released by factories and fuel-powered vehicles along with the growing human population
can be attributed to environmental issues, and making universal adoption of the proposed solutions can help
overcome these problems.
- There are a few word order issues, especially in terms of cause/effect.
- The writing could be a bit more concise.
- Well-structured, well-written. Still excellent as always!
8.59
Vũ Hiền Thảo
Numerous commentators are of the view that people are exerting detrimental influences on the environment. This
essay will discuss some manners in which humans are wreaking havoc on their surroundings and propose means to
address the issue.
Obviously, humans are ruining the environment by doing manifold devastating deeds. Firstly, it is widely believed that
rubbish is incinerated on a regular basis in some areas. Inasmuch as people are ignorant of methods for tackling
waste, they have a propensity to set fire to the rubbish, which generates fiery clouds in the upper atmosphere.
Secondly, environmental issues are also attributed to the excessive consumption of plastics. A common belief is that
plastics bags as well as implements manufactured by plastics tremendously assists in promoting convenience in
human's daily lives. As a repercussion, approximately, 300 million tons of plastic waste are generated per year, which
is presumably upsettingly massive detriment to the natural world.
There are various of manners to resolve this issue. First, people should ease their reliance on plastics. Reducing the
use of plastic bags to the minimum is undoubtedly a formidable challenge. Consumers can utilize alternative products
such as, tote bags, porcelain and suchlike. Second, it is of great significance that the government should enhance
citizen's sense of preserving our planet. Evidently, given that a person have awareness for protecting the environment,
every single action of him will be subject to preserve the evironment. The scheme aforementioned is advisable to be
initially stimulated in schooling with a view not only to shaping habit of living preserving the environment at a young
age but also propagandizing the entirely society in the ways of adressing environmental prolems.
On the whole, waste incineration and immoderate dependence in plastics are the major contributions to an alarmingly
contaminated environment. Be that as it may, by reducing plastics consumption and heightening human's awareness
of the importance of preserving the surroundings, the society can expectantly wield a beneficial influences to the
environment.
- You need to develop your arguments more by providing more specific information to explain them.
- The writing is wordy and unclear at times.
- There are several grammar/word order issues.
24.5
Bùi Đặng Hương Linh

Humans are responsible for a variety of environmental problems, but we can
also take steps to reduce the damage that we are causing to the planet.This essay
will discuss various factors that lead to environmental problems and suggest
some measures that the government and individuals can take to address them.
Two of the biggest threats to the environment are air pollution and waste.
Hazardous gases emitted from factories and private vehicles are running on the
roads leading to air pollution, especially with the numerous number of cars
increasing annually. Moreover, the overproduction and overconsumption of a
large number of consumer goods, especially in this era of technology boom,
leads to the production of more waste. To make matters worse, the use of non-
biodegradable products keeps on rising. For instance, household and industrial
waste not only contaminates earth but also pollutes the river ocean. As the
human pollution increases, we are also producing ever greater quantities of
waste, which destroys our mother nature.
The government can effectively participate to address this issue by introducing
various laws and regulations. Governments should implement strict limits on
the usage of non-biodegradable products. In addition, they can restrict
corporations from unnecessarily clearing forests, impose heavy fines on
companies who misuse their power and The authorities should also provide incentives for companies and
individuals for using renewable energies such as solar, wind, hydropower,…
However, unless we human beings take some action, the pollution of our
surroundings could be a chronic issue to cope with. We need to change people’s
daily habits by encouraging them to use public transport instead of private cars (
petrol–driven vehicles ) and the avoidance of disposable products and high-
carbon products would also be a good choice.
In conclusion, attempts of both governments and individuals are still an integral
part of the aim to preserve the natural habitats and thus realize the sustainable
development of natural resources.
- You need to use more effective transitions and connect your sentences more logically.
- You need to develop your arguments more and provide more specific information.
- Your essay is too informal
2.53
Hoàng Gia Bảo Phi

These days, the safety of the environment has raised dramatic concern among people throughout the world. This
essay will discuss how humans have taken a heavy toll on the environment that creates a number of long-term dire
consequences and the methods applied to resolve the problems.
It is evident that many are opting for myriads of atrocious ways to do considerable harm to the surroundings. First and
foremost, constructing factories, particularly the one which specializes in cutting-edge technologies, results in the
industrial waste together with gas exhaust that leads to severe diseases. Secondly, a mountain of rubbish littered is
regarded as one of the indispensable determinant to adversely affects humans’ health accompanied by the habitat of
marine life. Furthermore, a plethora of trees have been chopping down at an alarming rate used for profit-making
purposes only.
On account of the degradation of the environment caused by humans’ behaviors, the government is expected to
accept responsibility to raise people’s awareness of the momentousness by educating to protect the environment.
Moreover, chastising the culprits who deliberately devastate natural resources is of paramount importance. In addition,
each individual is supposed to obey the environmental rules strictly and encouraged to propagate other people to
partake in the planting trees or recycling plastic wastes occasions.
To summarize, it is firmly believed that the issue of the environment will be tackled by the effective and well-timed
measures taken by both governments and individuals.
15
Nguyễn Khánh Hà Chi

It is common knowledge that humans nowadays exert strong and often detrimental influences on the environment that
may bring about detrimental effects. In this essay, I will analyze various primary reasons behind environmental
degradation and propose feasible solutions to tackle this environmental problem thoroughly.
There are two main explanations why the nature is being catastrophically wrecked by the human beings. First, the
major contributor to blame is the deforestation. Indeed, human expansion nowadays has resulted in more necessities
manufacturing; therefore, only forestry can meet these demands. Since tree is the dominant producer of oxygen, also
the home for animals, forestry is threatening creatures’ life. More specifically, a data has told that around half of all the
trees on the planet are cut each year to serve the purpose of high-end wood products. Additionally, overfishing is one
of the factors that harm the environment. Since fish is predisposed to be the favourite protein, fisheries are pushed
beyond the regulation and biological limits. Overfishing will create an ecological imbalance which can erode the food
web and lead to the loss of vital marine species. Dolphins being caught by tuna fishers in many places in the world is
a prime example.
However, some viable solutions can be suggested to counterfact these aforementioned issues. Firstly, governments
should propose laws to limit the emissions from the factories. Also, they need to improve the public transport system
and encourage people to prevent using private transports, which is vital to prevent as much emission as possible.
Secondly, each individual should curb using plastic. They also have to purchase reusable products, as well as try to
recycle things. For example, Vietnamese are currently recommended to use reusable or paper bags whenever they go
shopping to reduce plastic consumption and to raise their awareness about these problems as well.
In summary, reckless deforestation and unbridled overfishing are two chief factors for the environment destruction.
Hence, the practical solutions from both governments and campaigns will be the compulsory contributor to save the
environment.
- The solutions you propose should directly address the problems you describe earlier. Since you fail to provide any
logical link between the two paragraphs (reasons/solutions), the essay lacks cohesion.
- You need to provide more logical explanation for your arguments.
2.55
Phạm Mai Trang

In the last decades, the environment has become a increasingly worse and polluted. Human activity is one of the
major contributors to this problem. This essay will discuss some ways in which humans are damaging the environment
and also some workable solutions to tackle the situation.
It is inevitable that the natural environment is seriously destroyed by human. Firstly, the environment impact of
transport is significant due to its major user of energy. Everyday, hundreds of vehicles on the road has produced a
large amount of emissions, resulting in a considerable increase in carbon dioxide level globally every year. Air
pollution is exacerbated day by day, causing people to be confronted with some health diseases. Moreover, the
increase of carbon dioxide emissions also contributed to climate change, especially global warming. That can lead to
problems in both human life and ecosystem. As the global temperature increases, the sea level rises because of
melting ice, that easily causing flood damaging human life.
Some solutions can be implemented to address the dilemma. The government should apply some state-of-the-art
technology to develop economy and protect the environment simultaneously. Also, some laws should be promulgated
to diminish the amount of carbon dioxide from the factories . Besides, each person should be in charge of preserving
the natural environment. There should be some campaigns to raise public awareness about the environment issues.
Only when people are aware of the vital role of the environment, they will respect its value and try to conserve it.
All in all, since the environment is adversely affected by human activities so people should take action to solve the
problem.
- You are overusing the word "some"
- You include only one reason behind environmental degradation.
- The solutions you propose are vague and underdeveloped.
- The essay is too short for the requirement
34.5
Công Nghĩa Hoài An

Recent decades witnessed environmental deterioration which has irrefutably hindered the development of human
beings. This essay will demonstrate some ways in which humans are wrecking nature as well as proposing various
feasible solutions to address the problem.
It is indisputable that human activities are ruining the natural environment. Firstly, the elephantine energy use in the
industry is a noteworthy culprit to environmental issues. The immense amounts of exhaust emissions released by the
combustion of fossil fuels for manufacturing process have drastically compounded the air quality. The situation is
further exacerbated by the ubiquity of automobiles fuelled by petrol, especially cars. For example, the proportion of car
ownership among middle-income Vietnamese people has skyrocketed in recent years, which resulted in the
environment in major cities being distressingly polluted. Secondly, wastewater and garbage from industrial
manufacturing procedures are discharged directly into ponds and waterways without apposite treatment. Organic
detritus, soap, pesticides, heavy metals and disease-causing germs are all dumped into common sewers and soil,
which can make the groundwater accumulate into toxins.
A variety of viable resolutions can be reinforced to resolve the aforementioned issues. First, governments should
intensify initiatives to enhance the social consciousness of environmental degradation. To be precise, a campaign can
wield far-reaching influences on people, make them cognisant of the grim state of the environment and its
repercussions. Additionally, apart from governments, people can also partake in protecting the earth. Manufacturers
and factories ought to construct wastewater treatment vessels in lieu of discarding them straight into the habitat.
Individuals can further contribute to the conservation of biodiversity by minimising their carbon footprint.
In conclusion, the unbridled energy expenditure and the instant disposal of unsafe sewage into the ecosystem without
conventional handling have atrophied the environmental quality, and it is that the remedies suggested be executed on
a global scale to shield the planet.
- You are using a few words incorrectly.
7.5
Dao Trong Anh

These days, environmental pollution is a burning issue, and humans are to blame for much of it. This essay will
discuss some ways in which the environment is being destroyed and propose several plausible solutions.
It is inevitable that humans are responsible for deleterious natural problems, especially air pollution and the increase
in waste. Exhaust emissions and fumes from factories and vehicles have vigorously exacerbated air pollution. For
instance, the surging rate of car use in recent decades has hazardously contaminated the atmosphere, causing ozone
depletion. Additionally, rampant production of low-priced goods nowadays has paved the way for overloaded landfills
and junkyards.
These issues can be clarified by some subsequent solutions. Firstly, the government should introduce laws to
encourage the use of public transportations, therefore reducing toxic emissions from private transports. Green
technology should also be subsidized to lower the reliance on fossil fuel energy sources. Secondly, campaigns that
raise public awareness about environmental destruction need to be accentuated. People would make more
sustainable choices, such as switching from non-biodegradable products to biodegradable things.
In conclusion, humans are destroying the environment and both the government and individuals must join forces to
tackle the aforementioned problems.
- This essay is too short for the requirement
8.56.5
Nguyễn Thị Hà Anh

Although People are responsible for devastating the environment but we can also take steps to reduce the damage
that has been caused to the environment. This essay will discuss both environmental problems and the ways
governments and individuals could do to avoid these issues.
Pollution and waste are the two main factors that are doing harm to the environment. Gas emissions from factories
and vehicles lead to air pollution and global warming. As the human population increases dramatically, we are also
producing even greater amount of waste, which contaminated rivers and seas and pollutes the air. Besides,
deforestation is as well abolishing the ecosystem as human cutting down trees for substitution for other material and
so, habitat for animals and plants will be destroyed.
The governments as well as individuals could partake in protecting the environment with number of actions. One of
them is to people could help reduce air pollution by using public transport more often or doing more walking and
cycling. In addition, individuals can reduce the amount of their household waste or recycle them. For instance, they
could use reusable bags or cotton bags instead of nylon bags, replace plastic or decompose them, etc. Furthermore,
people could use renewable energy such as solar energy or wind energy.
In conclusion, people damage the environment with their high usage of private cars and excessive amounts of
industrial waste, and also by throwing household garbage irresponsibly. The government can solve these problems by
implementing waste limit and enhancing public transport system. Individuals can also help by lessening their
household waste by traveling by mass transit, walking and cycling.
- The essay could be organized more logically. The third paragraph alludes to the government but fails to mention its
possible course of action. The conclusion, on the other hand, includes information that should have been included in
the preceding paragraph.
- The essay is short for the requirement
7.56
Bùi HIền Mai

In the 21st century, where the environment has evidently become more run-down, the concern of people worldwide
has risen considerably, especially after witnessing the signs of climate change. This essay will discuss one of the main
factors in the destruction of the environment, and illustrate how government parties and individuals can alleviate its
consequences.
The damage that humanity has posed on the planet can be attributed to an array of problems; however, one of the
most detrimental ones is the improper disposal of chemical waste. When toxic waste gets dumped into water sources,
not only will it lead to the death of underwater species, but it can also be absorbed into the soil, thus making it virtually
impossible for the flora and fauna to flourish. In addition to this, chemical waste is also the cause of many illnesses
such as cholera - a disease in which the patient contracted it via the consumption of impure water.
Adverse may the consequences be, it is still not too late for humans to come up with plans to resolve this issue. With
their power, governments can bring about regulations and laws regarding the disposal of chemical waste; accordingly,
the citizens will raise more awareness about the impacts of the matter. Individuals can also partake in reversing the
status by carrying their weight of protecting the environment, such as disposing of toxic waste properly, or launching a
campaign. In spite of the fact that one may not have as much power as the governments, bear in mind that even an
individual can make a difference, regardless of how big it is.
To recapitulate, chemical waste is one of the most destructive activities humanity has done to the environment. In
solving this, the governments can use their power to pass laws and regulations regarding a ban on the improper
disposal of the substance, and individuals can do their share of environmental conservation.
- Your focus is a bit too narrow, given that toxic waste is typically abused by businesses rather than individuals.
7.56
Ngô Vũ Ngân Hà
It is inevitable that humans’ activities has exerted negative impacts on the environment. In this essay, I will
demonstrate various factors that have resulted in environmental degradation and propound measures that the
government and individuals can take to tackle the problems.
First and foremost, one of the major contribution to the issue is deforestation. It is defined as the destruction and
removal of trees through natural or deliberate means. Trees provide oxygen, clean the air, stabilize the soil and
conserve energy. Due to the decrease in quantity, this can lead to climate change, increased greenhouse gases, soil
erosion, flooding and numerous natural disasters. Second, transport is also to blame. Transport consumes energy and
burns a huge amount of petroleum, which directly results in air pollution and this is a drastic contributor to global
warming.
Plausible solutions can be put forward to resolve the above-mentioned problems. First of all, the government should
introduce more environmental regulations and laws. Those should focus on all kind of industries that causes
degradation such as thermal power plants, coal mines, cement, sponge iron, petroleum and chemicals. Additionally,
investing money in public transport could also be a viable remedy. Secondly, individuals must be responsible for the
consequences of their deeds. They can totally start by simple activities like using mass transit or stop littering. Little
things make big things happen.
In conclusion, deforestation and private transport are the main causes for environmental issues, and feasible solutions
have been proposed to help protect the planet.
- It is important to make the distinction that private transportation is harmful, not transportation itself.
- Avoid overusing the passive voice.
- The writing is too informal at times and it lacks the necessary number of words .
76
Phùng Ngọc Anh

For quite some time, there has been an inextricable connection between humans and the environment. As a result,
the way we behave directly influences Mother Nature. In this essay, I will explain how humans are making an impact
on the environment and provide various feasible solutions for the betterment.
It is irrefutable that humans' consequences are detrimental to the natural world. First of all, deforestation is one of the
most urgent environmental problems. Since overpopulation has been rising at high rates, forests are cleared to make
way for crops, shelters, and materials. According to that, deforestation shows a massive threat to all living creatures
and increases greenhouse gases. For instance, the forests being destroyed in the central of Viet Nam has caused a
series of severe landslides. Not only the ecosystem is threatened, but people suffer extensive damages also.
Moreover, what we do have immediate effects on pollution. Smokes from factories, gases from vehicles and exhausts
have led to air pollution. People's dumping waste into oceans causes water pollution and so forth.
In the face of environmental issues, several plausible solutions have been brought out. First, governments should
make environmentally friendly changes in people's daily life. They should encourage individuals to use cloth bags or
glassware instead of using plastic - a polymeric material that takes time to decompose. By changing the regular
lightbulbs into compact fluorescent ones, we can also reduce the demand for electricity, which means less
greenhouse gas emissions. Additionally, people should get used to recycling. For example, plastic bottles can be used
as flower pots or transformed into toys for children. As a result, recycling lessens landfill waste, reduce energy
consumption, and slow down global warming.
In brief, pollution and the cut down of forests are the foremost factors that cause environmental issues, and the
leaders, as well as individuals, should take actions to solve the problems.
- You should use more effective transitions. Additionally, certain sentences should be combined into one.
87
Nguyễn Hà My
In this day and age, damages to the environment caused by human are numerous and in various way. This essay will
indicate some ways in which human are deteriorating the environment and some solutions that can be given to
resolve the problems.
The two most alarming environmental issues are air pollution and waste. Gas emissions from factories and exhaust
fumes from vehicles lead to global warming, which may have a devastating effect on the planet in the future. In fact, in
some nations such as China, Bangladesh, and Pakistan, the volume of air pollution is extremely concerning for both
environment and human health at the moment. Moreover, greater quantities of waste, which contaminates the earth
and pollutes rivers and oceans, are produced in an uncontrollable speed due to the bombardment in population all
over the globe.
Firstly, the government can attempt to exacerbate the volume of pollution by bringing environmental protection policies
to limit the amount of exhaust fumes from factories and also to force companies to use renewable energy such as
solar power and wind power or so forth instead of fossil fuels. Furthermore, green taxes should be applied on drivers
and fly agencies to reduce as much air pollution as possible. As a result, less private vehicles will be used and less
flights will be made, and the more people will utilize public transport, the less emissions will appear.
Secondly, individuals should learn to raise their own awareness and take responsibility for the impact they have on the
environment. Each person should be endorsed to take advantage of public transport to limit the air pollution volume
and make use of eco-friendly products instead of plastic products to reduce the amount of waste.
In conclusion, in order to resolve the problem the sooner the better both individuals and the government should
collaborate with each other to work in an optimal and most sufficient way.
- There are numerous word order issues.
- A few of the sentences are far too long.
Hoàng Khánh Lâm

To date, the world is inevitably witnessing a host of pressing issues, one of which relates to the appalling state of the
environment. This essay will display some of the humans' deeds that are severely devastating the ecosystem and
propose some plausible solutions to alleviate this problem.
Firstly, humanity's extensive consumption of fossil fuels unequivocally exerts pernicious influences on the
environment. Enormous quantities of carbon dioxide emitted during the combustion of fossil fuels in factories have
consequently led to the exacerbation of air quality. Moreover, the large-scale use of gasoline-powered transports is
believed to aggravate air pollution. To exemplify, the prominence of household automobile utilization in one of the
most traffic-congested countries, India, is one of the primary contributors to the escalating contamination rate in this
country. Second, deforestation is also a main culprit for the dire state of the environment. These days, an increasing
number of plants and vegetation are removed to serve the purpose of agricultural expansion, the logging industry, and
construction projects, posing tremendous threats to the natural habitat of numerous species and intensifying the
chances of flooding and soil erosion.
Regarding some viable resolutions to this issue, making universal adoption of renewables is one of the most feasible
answers. Alternative energy sources such as sunlight and wind yield a plentitude of environmental benefits, one of
which is their insignificant effect on the environment. Compared to fossil fuels, renewable energy releases much less
carbon dioxide; therefore, the transition to renewable energy is conducive to the severely polluted environment.
Additionally, it is advisable to launch tree-planting campaigns and encourage the public to partake in nature-oriented
activities; as a result, people will assist in mitigating the problem of deforestation.
In summary, humans' excessive use of non-renewable energy and deforestation is to blame for the deterioration of the
natural environment. By implementing the alternative energy system and launching campaigns that encourage the
public to plant trees, individuals may aid in enhancing environmental quality.
- You need to be more specific about who should be responsible for implementing the proposed solutions.
- The writing is repetitive at times.
6.57
Ngô Hoàng Mai
These days, humans are faced with an array of inevitable issues, among which environmental ones are the most
acute. This essay expounds on human causes of environmental degradation and proposes solutions to the
aforementioned problem.
Humans are adversely altering the environment by producing a colossal amount of greenhouse gases such as
methane and carbon dioxide. The world’s Rising population comes with its share of an urgent need for the burning of
fossil fuels to ensure the maintenance of humans’ lives like heating or transport. Consequently, throughout the
incineration, CO2 is emitted, which significantly depletes the ozone layer and thus, allows UV radiation to reach the
Earth and damage the DNA of plants and animals.
Subsistence farming is also a major contributor to environmental degradation. Subsistence farmers clear land to graze
cattles or to grow crops by cutting and burning numerous trees. As a result, such a large-scale absence of trees paves
the way for deforestation and renders the land more susceptible to erosion. Moreover,since the layer of soil that
shields the ground is removed during the crop-growing process, flooding problems are likely to occur in heavy rain.
According to scientists in Los Alamos, without trees, the land stands a 60% higher risk of soil erosion.
There are viable countermeasures to environmental damage. First and foremost, it is necessary that renewable
energy is harnessed. The use of renewable powers such as the wind and sun is closely linked with the lower
emissions of carbon dioxide. For example, EEA reported that “without the deployment of renewable energy since
2005, greenhouse gases could have been 7% higher that actual emissions in 2012”. Furthermore, governments
should organize propaganda campaigns to raise residents’ awareness of the problems and to encourage them to
utilize renewable fuels in lieu of non-renewable ones.
In conclusion, environmental issues, which are triggered by humans’ releasing CO2 and subsistence farming, can be
tackled by the aforementioned ways.
- The statistics and some of the details are redundant.
6.5
8
quỳnh nhi
Over the last few years, people are incessantly causing environmental contamination. Consequently, It is high time the
governments took some measures to protect the planet. This essay will discuss the ways people damage the
ecosystem and propose solutions to this problem.
It is undeniable that some human activities have exerted detrimental impacts on the environment. First, plastic bags
are widely consumed and released to the sea, graving a threat to the lives of marine animals. In particular, plastic
bags are non-biodegradable and take hundred years to entirely decompose. Should the fish see those colorful plastic
bags, it tends to eat them; suffocating and killing itself. Second, the extensive decimation of forests leads to
ecosystem imbalance. For instance, the loss of tree and vegetation is extremely jeopardizing numerous species’
habitats. Thus, animals could not find shelter, food and water to survive, putting the wild animals in danger of
extinction.
Due to said effects, national leaders have to address these problems. First, they should ensure that plastic waste is
disposed to the right place and treated in the most eco-friendly way such as recycling. Moreover, there should be
alternatives to plastic bags such as canvas or other reusable bags. Second, deforestation should be totally prohibited;
hence, governments ought to strictly manage the forest rangers’ activities. Specifically, should the children be
educated about the importance of protecting the environment to the world, they can raise their awareness of right
actions to the ecosystem.
In conclusion, excessive consumption and releasing of plastic bags as well as deforestation are wreaking havoc on
the environment. It is about time the authorities universally tackled these issues with the aforesaid solutions.
- The writing is quite wordy.
- Avoid using the passive voice. Especially in this context, it is important to establish who is responsible for the various
actions/solutions.
5.5
Trần Phương Linh

It is true that humans are causing irreparable damages to the Earth's environment, and this will have a long-term
devastating consequence to the planet. This essays will highlights some primary causes of this problem and propose
solutions that governments or individuals could take to tackle these problems.
There are some ways in which people contaminate the environment. People worsen air pollution by making cars as
their main mode of transportation. This is because cars could release carbon dioxide to the environment when being
used. Factories are also the main perpetrators of pollution by producing so much waste. Many factories dump rubbish
in inappropriate places, such as the river even though being aware that their reckless actions make the river a toxic
place to live for fish and other river inhabitants and eventually kill them.
The Government can solve environmental problems with a number of actions. One of them is to implement a pollution
threshold for factories. If a company produces more pollution than the permitted threshold, it will be fined. Therefore,
industrial companies would take necessary measures to reduce their waste. Another way is to improve public
transportations. Reliable, clean, and safe mass transports will encourage people to use them, instead of using private
cars.
Apart from the Government, individuals too can partake in protecting the environment. Firstly, individuals can reduce
their household waste. For instance, people can use cloth-made-bags instead of plastic-made-bags when shopping.
After all, plastic can not be decomposed and its build up will harm the Earth. Secondly, people should use more public
transportation and if possible, walk more. That way, pollution that comes from vehicles can be minimized.
In conclusion, both national governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.
- There are quite a few grammar issues.
4.5
Lê MiInh Triết
It is indisputable that nature is of utmost importance to human. In recent decades, environmental degradation has
been one of the thorniest issues, sustaining enormous damage to human life. This essay will indicate some ways in
which humans are destroying the environment and give some plausible solutions to the situation.
It is apparent that human activities are wreaking havoc on the natural environment. To begin with, massive energy
exploitation proves to be a critical determinant of environmental problems. This is because the ozone layer has been
ferociously aggravated by gas emissions coming from the consumption of fossil fuels in manufacturing. In addition, the
rampant use of gas-powered vehicles, especially automobiles and motorcycles is also to blame. Furthermore, the
excessive production of plastic bags renders the environment alarmingly contaminated. The fact that plastic bags
nowadays can be acquired cheaply and effortlessly has resulted in a thrown-away society, generating more garbage,
burdening landfills, and tainting water bodies.
Some workable solutions can be executed to address previous issues. First and foremost, green technology which is
crucial to lessening the overdependence on carbon-intensive energy sources should be distributed more funding to.
To illustrate, the use of hybrid vehicles and renewables being used will helps reduce fossil fuels consumption, thereby
cutting down on the amount of toxic exhaust fumes. Secondly, campaigns raising public awareness about
environmental problems should be reinforced. People’s better understanding of the dire condition of the environment
and its consequences would lead them to more sustainable lifestyle choices.
All in all, uncontrolled usage of traditional energy and consumer goods are the fundamental causes of alarming
environmental issues. Therefore, the aforementioned solutions should be globally approved to help save the planet.
- Avoid using the passive voice. Especially in this context, it is important to establish who is responsible for the various
actions/solutions.
7.5
Phan Thị An Thanh - 9C T7

In this day and age, the impacts that humans made on the environment have become so pervasive, profound and
permanent that myriads people may be prone to natural disasters. In this essay, I will offer a convincing explanation
for humans’ ways of causing severe damage on the environment and propose some viable solutions that governments
or individuals should carry out to tackle the problems.
To begin with, air pollution may be one of the most alarming issues that humans have to deal with. The atmosphere is
being damaged due to the combustion of fossil fuels in order to fulfill humans’ excessive consumption. The process of
burning these materials may emit toxic fumes that made the environment come under attack. Moreover, noxious
emissions from factories, vehicles, power stations and so on may also exert far-reaching influence on the atmosphere.
Within just a few decades, plastic - a multifaceted material has ushered in what became known as “plastics century”.
While the plastics century brings convenience and cost-effectiveness to people’s life, it also creates staggering
environmental issues. Specifically, the decomposition of plastic packaging may take centuries to complete, creating a
huge build up of disposal waste.
On confronting these problems, governments need to raise public awareness and bring in stringent laws against the
environmental protection regulations. People should also take responsibility for the influence they wield on the
environment. Individuals should question in every single-use plastic whether they really need it or not. In addition,
people can join the refill movement and carry a reusable bottle or coffee cup in public. Finally, In order to reduce air
pollution, people should switch from driving to walking and cycling. Instead of driving to work, people can use public
transport.
In conclusion, both governments and individuals should do their best in avoiding the grave consequences from the
human impacts on the environment.
- The language lacks precision, which makes the essay incoherent in places.
- You need to use more effective transitions and connect your sentences more logically.
- The essay lacks cohesion and logical organization.
26.5
Lê Phương Linh
It is irrefutable that human activities have made a negative impacts on the environment, and environmental damage
can have serious repercussions for humans as well. This essay will illustrate some of humanity's effects on the
environment and some actions that governments and individuals can take to tackle these issues.
Environmental destruction caused by humans is immense. To start with, overpopulation contributes greatly to the
degradation of the environment. Overpopulation is increasing at an alarming rate, which is largely attributed to
human's longevity and higher birth rates.This can cause problems aplenty such as shortage of water, global warming
and so forth. Besides, humans are causing a lot of pollution. Air, water and soil are among the most wrecked natural
resources. On a daily basis, people use cars and other means of transportation, which release harmful pollutants into
the air. At the same time, Factories emit a lot of toxic chemicals, and humans regularly throw waste into rivers.
There are some viable solutions to these problems. The government can put strict laws into force in order to reduce as
well as prevent the destruction of the environment. It is advisable that they create suitable punishments for individuals
or groups of people who wreck the environment. Additionally, they should raise people's awareness of the
environment, for instance, by giving children more knowledge about it at school. Protecting the environment is also
each person's own responsibility. In fact, There are many ways in which we can help preserve the environment,
namely, cutting down on energy consumption, recycling , and reducing plastic waste and so on.
In brief, humans impair the environment in many ways. Therefore, plausible solutions should be considered to address
these problems.
- A few of the arguments should be developed more and/or organized more logically.
- The essay lacks the required number of words
6.57
Trương Bích Lam

It is undeniable that humans are contaminating the environment. This essay will discuss how the nature are being
damaged as well as providing some feasible measures to alleviate the problem.
There are numerous ways in which humans are damaging the environment. First, air pollution is worsened since
people have made cars and motorbikes as their primary transportation. Smoke and exhaust fumes from private
vehicles not only cause air pollution but also lead to global warming. Second, factories and households are dumping
more and more waste into the rivers and oceans. This leads to water pollution as well as the earth being
contaminated.
To adress this issue, the government should improve public transportations. These clean, reliable and safe
transportations such as bus, tram will encourage people to use them instead of cars and motorbikes. Moreover, the
government can invest in renewable energy such as solar, wind. In addition, laws should be introduced to limit
emissions from factories.
Individuals can partake in protecting the environment too. Taking public transportations rather than cars and
motorbikes is one viable solution. They should reuse and recycle as much as possible. For instance, they can reuse
paper bags instead of plastic bags while going shopping. Additionally, people can organize campaigns to protect the
environment.
In conclusion, although the environment is being badly devastated but with these workable solutions and the
cooperation of the government and individuals, I believe this problem will be resolved soon.
- You could develop your arguments more.
- The essay lacks the required number of words
86
Nguyễn Cẩm Anh

It is inevitable that human are destroying the environment; however, people could take steps to save the world. This
essay will discuss numerous factors that contribute to environmental problems and the measures that the government
and individuals can take to address them.
Firstly, the way people overuse utilities and dump industrial wastes plays a crucial role in devastating the environment.
Specifically, Gas emissions from factories, exhaust fumes from vehicles or CFC from conditions lead to global
warming especially in North Pole. Moreover, As the human population increased, people are producing a greater
quantity of litters mostly plastic, which take millennium to totally decompose. According to a report from the United
Nations, each year, 79% of the pliable leavings are landfilled, 12% are burnt and only 9 % are recycled. That is an
alarming figure for the whole world to have a shift.
Therefore, government and individuals should make more effort to tackle the environmental problems. Government
could bring in laws to limit emissions from factories or to force them to take advantage to renewable resources from
solar, wind, rains, to name but three. Moreover, they could propagandize the status quo of the earth at the moment
and spread a number of ways to protect the planet from being destroyed. Besides, individuals can take public
transports to commute rather than driving. Ones can also restrict from using products made with plastic or non-
biodegradable wastes and recycle as much as possible.
In conclusion, the environment will be destroyed and the planet people are living in will disappear if human do not take
action to save it immediately.
- Some of the language in the intro and the conclusion is far too extreme.
- The sentences in the "problems paragraphbody paragraphs" are poorly connected to one another. You need to
explain WHY instead of making a list like this.
- The essay is too short.
Nguyễn Mỹ Ngân
These days, environmental disastrous consequences are appearing more frequently, but we can also do to eventually
decrease the problems which is caused to the Earth. This following essay discusses both the causes of environmental
problems and the solutions for which governments and individuals should proceed to protect the environment.
To begin with, two of the most worth considering problems are air pollution and waste. As the population on earth is
rising eternally, more wastes will be released into the environment, which can heavily damage the planet hereafter.
When it comes to air pollution, it is universally known that gases from vehicles and fumes from factories will
contaminate the atmosphere and lead to air pollution.
That is why governments have to take action to prevent these threats from becoming a greater problem in the future.
For example, they should improve the public awareness about these issues by instituting several groups which are
responsible for protecting the environment. Moreover, addressing the problems' impacts may also make it better in the
planet's renovation. Number of cars on the streets should be replaced with modern public means of transport.
For their part, Individuals should also be accountable for their causes to the whole environment. People should cut
down on their using electicity, reduce using plastic bags, travel by public transportation instead of driving their own
cars and recycle as much as posible. There some supermarkets are now encouraging people to use paper or
reusable bags.
To conclude, it is irrefutable that the environment is gradually becoming deteriorated, partly due to the severe
consequences of humans' actions. Thus, governments and individuals alike need to start taking measures and find a
way to protect nature, in order to create a safe haven for all living organisms on this planet.
- The writing is vague/unclear at times.
2.5
Phan Anh
In recent years, environmental degradation has taken a heavy toll on human life. This essay will analyze in detail
some ways in which humans are damaging the environment, as well as plausible solutions to help tackle the issues.
It is apparent that the natural environment is being harmed by human activities in various ways. Firstly, the
widespread use of fuel-operated vehicles these days is a major contributor to environmental issues. In other words,
the enormous quantity of exhaust emissions such as carbon dioxide released from the operation of those vehicles,
especially automobiles, can catastrophically exacerbate air pollution. Secondly, the misuse of plastic bags is also to
blame. To be specific, plastic bags and bottles are made of polythene, which is derived from crude oil refining and
natural gas processing. And oil and gas are fossil fuel-based resources, so through their extraction and production,
they emit greenhouse gases, which is the main factor in global climate change.
However, the circumstances are still open to amelioration through feasible solutions. Firstly, the government should
spend more expenditure on improving the public transport system. This way, people will use them more often, hence
diminishing the overall amount of exhaust fumes which is largely discharged from the use of personal cars. Secondly,
shop assistants can encourage consumers to reduce their use of plastic containers by attaching them with higher
prices. Consequently, shoppers may end up bringing with themselves environmentally-friendly bags that are made of
cloth, paper or other biodegradable materials when they come back to buy things.
In summary, as the uses of fuel-powered vehicles and plastic bags are believed to be the primary culprits behind
major environmental problems, the proposed solutions should be adopted by authorities and civilians to help protect
the nature.
- Avoid starting sentences with "And"
- A few instances of wordy/imprecise language.
- Keep up the good work!
7.58.5
Ngô Thị Hiền Anh

There is no doubt that humans are to blame for a range of environmental issues. However, there are multiple ways for
the government and individuals to tackle this dilemma.
Ecological degradation is the result of various factors. Firstly, high levels of greenhouse gases emission has become a
major concern among citizens. Due to traffic congestion and industrial pollution, this trend is now responsible for a
variety of problems, including the destruction of the ozone layer, global warming, rising sea levels and habitat loss,
which can result in loss of biodiversity. Secondly, human's high demand for consumer goods combined with
overpopulation has led to the excessive exploitation of natural resources. To illustrate, it is theorized that the world's
fossil fuels will run out in the next 50 years. In addition, dumping of waste is also a direct consequence of this
phenomenon, creating landfills which further contaminates the air and soil.
There are several ways to address human activities. Firstly, there must be a limit to the use Earth's natural resources
so that it can be replenished, which can be achieved through carbon footprint counting. The government can put a tax
on gasoline and factory emissions as well as implement strict laws concerning waste management. Secondly,
individuals should promote ecological conservation actions such as the 3 Rs and tree planting following up the
formation of Green parties.
To summarize, pollution and overconsumption is the two main drivers behind environmental damage. The government
can resolve this issue by implementing waste limit together with managing petrol usage and ecological footprints.
Individuals can take the initiative by encouraging ecological protection.
- A few of your points need to be clarified with more specific information.
- There are numerous subject-verb agreement issues.
- You should use more effective transitions and connect sentences more logically.
6.5
Lê Thuỳ An
It is undeniable that human’s activities cause significant damage to the environment, but we can also find solutions to
tackle this problem. This essay will discuss some environmental problems as well as what governments and
individuals can do to address the issue.
Two of the major factors to the destruction of the environment are air pollution and waste. First, massive emissions
from vehicles and factories are devastatingly exacerbating global warming and enlarging the hole in the ozone layer.
In fact, it is deleterious to human’s health, causing people to be confronted with diseases. For instance, according to
Wikipedia, non-smokers in India have 30% weaker lung function than Europeans and are more likely to suffer from
lung cancer, due to the fact that the breathe air in the country is 10 times or more over the WHO limit. Additionally, the
usage of plastic goods is also detrimental to the eco system. Living in a modern yet hectic life, the fact that people are
being overdependent on plastic utensils and containers has lead to massive amounts of indisposible waste,
overloading landfills and polluting water sources.
Governments and individuals could take numerous solutions into consideration to resolve these matters. From the
governments’ perspective, they could bring in new laws to limit the amount of emissions from factories and force them
to use renewable energy from solar, wind or water power. Meanwhile, individuals should be aware of the dire state of
the environment and its repercussions. For example, they can take public transport rather than driving, talk each other
out of using single-use packages and recycle as much as possible.
In conclusion, humans are major influencers to the destruction of the environment, and it is the governments and our
duty to take steps to put paid to this global issue.
- The essay is short for the requirement
6.5
Nguyễn Minh Hiển

Humans are responsible for a plethora of environmental issues, however we can take step by step to reduce the
damage that the planet. This essay will discuss the environment problems and the methods for governments and
individuals can take to protect our world.
One of the most terrible ways that humans are destroying the world is air pollution are worsen. Due to the increasing
of the number of private transportation. It can be denied the fact that the more cars are droven the more carbon
dioxide born. Furthermore, the gas was created by factory still played vital role in making the air become worse. In
addition, there are companies of individual dumps rubbish into environment surrounded such as river, park.
Unfortunately, they cant recognize that their actions push the river, park into toxic situation.
The government can fix this issue with following of actions. One of them is abandon companies from produce gas into
the air. There should be a limit for companies with their industrial waste. If they pass that limit, they will be charged for
large amount of money. Therefore, they could understand the necessary of protecting environment. Another, public
transportation must be improved. Take Japan is the specific examples, public transportations such as tram, bus
played important for their clean air.
Apart from government, individuals should be joined in to protect environment. First, they must reduce their household
waste. Because of recycling items, we can use them for hundred times and not wasting by throw them away with just
for some time used. Secondly, we should use tote bag instead of plastic bag. After all, plastic are hardly decomposed,
it always takes long time for this step.
In conclusion, humans damage environment with the huge usage of private transportation and we should protect them
because earth is our home.
- There are numerous grammar issues and the language is far too basic.
- The description of both the problems and the solutions needs to be more specific.
14
Pham Minh Duc

Since human activities have had catastrophic consequences on the milieu, plausible solutions must be taken
immediately to mitigate the problem. This essay will pinpoint the factors leading to environmental issues and propose
some measures that both the government and individuals can do to help protect the Earth.
There are innumerable causes which are doing damage to the habitat; however, overpopulation and pollution are
likely to pose graver threats to biodiversity and ecosystems. Because of the rapid increase in global population, a
growing agricultural demand comes with its complications. As the world has more people, more food have to be
produced, requiring intensive farming, or through deforestation to create new farm lands. Thus, several species are on
the brink of death due to the loss of habitat. Secondly, pollution is undoubtedly a prime cause to the environmental
degradation. Emissions from factories and automobiles on the roads have made air pollution a devastating strain on
human. Furthermore, pollutants released into the ocean are the culprit that have contaminated the water, triggered the
marine life and aggravated the quality of water supply.
Upsetting as the consequences are, countermeasures are suggested to address the problem. Governments should
impose restrictions on the amount of fumes from the plants and embark on investing in those renewable energy
sources such as solar energy, wind energy or geothermal energy. For individuals, they should use recyclable products
and paper or cloth bags instead of plastic bags. Using public transports is also a feasible workaround to reduce the air
pollution.
In conclusion, with the afore-mentioned environmental factors, it is high time people shouldered the human impacts on
the Earth with a view to ameliorating the issue.
- You are using various words incorrectly.
- The essay is shorter than required
4.56
Nguyễn Trần Bảo Ngọc

The environment plays a vital role in human life. However, it has been severely damaged in recent decades by
humanity’s affects. This essay will illustrate some ways in which people are harming the environmental systems and
some plausible solutions to contract the problems.
It is undeniable that the natural ecosystem is being degraded by man’s daily activities. Firstly, although plastic items
are cost-effective and convenient in everyday life, they are not biodegradable as it lasts at least for over 400 years in
the marine environment, exerting detrimental effects on both environment and wildlife. For instance, microplastic emits
toxic chemical into the underlying soil which changes the soil system and creates disastrous impacts on plant
performances. Various marine animals entangle in or ingest plastic debris, resulting in suffocation and drowning.
Secondly, vehicle emissions also exacerbate air pollution as it causes acid rain and climate change. Therefore,
myriads of crops, soil, and water quality are damaged, which leads to the poor health suffering of several animal
species.
Individuals along with the government could take viable solutions to tackle the issues. Firstly, given that the
government allocates further support to develop eco-friendly technology, the dependence on high-carbon vehicles
could be lowered. For example, the government could finance the expansion of public transports such as the subway
to reduce the usage of motorbikes or cars, a major contributor to air pollution. Secondly, each person should partake
in several environmental organizations to raise public awareness about environmental pollution. For instance, legions
of campaigns are now banning plastic bags and many people also use environmental-friendly products to curb the
damage to the environment.
To sum up, albeit the human’s damaging to the environment, actions should be taken by individual and government to
solve the problem.
6.57
Nguyễn Hiền An
In today's modern society, humans scour for ways to exploit the environment for its natural resources, inadvertently
harming and polluting the surroundings. In this essay, the actions whereby pollution is caused as well as the actions
which can be taken to ameliorate this dire situation will be discussed.
Undoubtedly, the worst kind of damage that can be done to the environment is due to pollution, namely air pollution
and waste. This is caused by gas emissions from cars, factories, and even livestock in the form of flatulence. Toxic
chemicals are dispersed into the atmosphere, slowly achieving the severity that may permanently scar later
generations. Second of all, the constant output of garbage and waste material due to the increasing demand for
welfare has taken a toll on the quality of the drinking water and directly annihilating ecosystems and harming their
inhabitants.
Individuals contribute an excessive amount in harming the environment, from mindlessly littering to supporting the
destruction of animal habitats unknowingly. They should take responsibility for their impact on the environment, also
known as their "carbon footprint". Using public transport, donating money to trusted environmental organizations, or
picking up trash whilst having a relaxing walk on the beach all support the environment.
On a larger scale, governments should begin to take action to prevent the environment's deterioration. Policies and
laws concerning the environment should be upheld firmly, and those who don't comply should be penalized harshly.
They should also start manufacturing "green energy" devices, such as solar panels, so that the public can reduce their
consumption of unrenewable sources.
All in all, after assessing the dire state that the environment is in, both individuals and governments should take swift
action to fix their faults.
- You should use more effective transitions.
6.57
Pham Nhat Minh

The relationship of human and the environment are known to be very cohesion. However, recently the relationship
seems to be breaks apart by a lot of factor and most of them come from human. In this essay I will show some of the
ways in which human are destroying the environment and also solutions in order to solve it.
It is clearly known that the action of human lately are destroying the environment. Enormous amount of plastic have
been thrown out to the sea every year and the number only keep bursting. It is only one in million of effects that us,
human had created, the problem was even push to the sideline without solution in hand. In addtion, those small
particles of plastic that we dump into the ocean every day are causing a chain in effect which we will receive in the
nearby fututre.
It is only the matter of time that will show how long we are able to live in such chaotic life full of catastrophe that we
ravel. Governments should reduce the amount of plastic in certain products in order to save the ocean but also help
the diversity some environments. Besides, by raising public attention, governments are able to take hold of the
situation. In fact, when people are aware about the current condition of their living standards, they would tend to
change their living habits to become better.
In conclusion, waste from our every day life should be processed in the way that will not damage our living space but
also other creatures home by clairvoyant solution in order to benefit our planets as well.
- The writing is incoherent and poorly organized.
- You are using numerous words incorrectly.
15
Nguyễn Hương Cầm

Although Humans are liable for a myriad of environmental issues; however, we can likewise take measures to lessen
the harm we are inflicting on nature. In this essay, I will discuss some of the problems we are currently facing and
propose solutions to said problems.
One of the more prominent threats to the environment is air pollution. People deteriorate the air condition by
appointing cars as their primary means of transport. The exhaust fumes from these automobiles and factories induce
global warming, which may take a heavy toll on the environment. Furthermore, many people litter in unsuitable
locations, polluting water sources such as rivers and lakes. This makes those locations uninhabitable by plants and
animals nearby, eventually killing them.
There are numerous ways for the Government to reverse these problems. They could pass laws to reduce the waste
from factories and industries and progressively force them to convert to renewable energy sources such as solar,
water, or wind power. Apart from that, they could also enhance the public transport system to make it more convenient
and comfortable. In this way, the government can encourage citizens to take public transport rather than personal
vehicles, thus reducing toxic waste.
For their part, Individual people can also take action to protect the environment and lower their carbon footprint.
Specifically, They could use buses or other public transport instead of driving. Moreover, they could recycle rubbish or
purchase reusable products to avoid releasing an excessive amount of waste. For example, people are encouraged to
use reusable paper bags and straws when going shopping or eating in order to diminish plastic usage.
In conclusion, both the government and civilians must be aware of the effect they have on the environment and must
partake in protecting it.
87.5
Nguyễn Tùng Lâm

These days, it has become apparent that our environment is being damaged to an incorrigible extent due to the
repercussions of human activities. This essay will discuss the inducers of this situation and the resolutions to it.
Mankind’s deeds have undoubtedly wreaked havoc upon both the Earth’s landscapes and the creatures they host. As
a result of the increasing need for resources following the mushrooming population, permanent damage is dealt to the
land and soil in the process of exploiting them. Moreover, noise pollution and light pollution are also becoming more
prevalent since civilization of cities is synonymous to more artificial lighting and deafening sounds. Consequently,
animals are affected by the omnipresence of humans and are forced to leave their habitats. This is not only
detrimental to the creatures themselves but also to the entire ecosystems and ultimately
us humans.
In response to this, it is crucial that each and every one of us should make a contribution to help put a stop to the
current situation. Trailblazing in this should be our very own government, starting by passing laws to prevent the over-
exploitation of natural resources and imposing regulations upon industrial waste disposal. Individuals too can make a
difference by raising awareness among citizens and choosing a environmentally friendly lifestyle for themselves.
In brief, while the damage done to the environment is irreversible, we can still work to make up for parts of it and take
measures to ensure the same thing will never recur in the future.
- There are a few word order issues.
- The tone in the introduction and the conclusion is far too fatalistic (if there were no hope, there would be no point in
writing an essay like this in the first place).
87
Khuất Nguyên Linh

Nowadays, pollution is rising at an unbelievable rate and many people don’t even know why this is. Society continue
on destroying the environment while official and individuals still haven’t got a way to stop the situation. This essay will
discuss some of the ways human are damaging the environment and how we can tackle these problems. People have
damage the environment in many ways. They worsen the air by making cars as their primary mode of transportation ,
they bump up the production rate in factories , causing it to emits more smoke or toxic gas into the atmosphere, like
carbon dioxide . These factories also dump waste into rivers, polluting the river and downstream of it, rendering the
river a toxic place for any inhabitants, eventually killing them. The majority of people don’t help either, they litter on the
ground everywhere even though a trash bin was only a short walk away. The Government can solve environmental
problems with a number of actions. One of them is to implement a pollution threshold for factories. If a company
produces more pollution than the permitted threshold, they will be fined. Apart from the official, individuals can also
partake in protecting the environment. They can reduce their household waste, for instance by using cloth-made-bags
instead of plastic bag. They could use more public transportation and walk more so that the pollution comes from car
can be minimized. In conclusion, people damage the environment with the high usage of cars and industrial waste,
and also by throwing rubbish irresponsibly, the Government can solve these problems by implementing waste limit,
individuals can also help by lessening their household waste and by travelling green.
- You need to organize your writing into paragraphs.
- Avoid using contractions and the 1st person plural.
- There are various grammar mistakes.
Lê Hồng Phúc
In this day and age, the rapid evolution of technology and industry has become detrimental to the environment. In this
essay, I will discuss the ways in which humans are causing damage to the environment and propose how the
government or individuals can tackle these issues.
Humans have had a negative impact on natural surroundings through ways of deforestation and exploiting fossil fuels.
There are many reasons as to why humans cut down trees such as: agriculture, logging, etc; however, it is irrefutable
that all these reasons come from human’s greed. The increasing rate of deforestation has contributed to soil erosions,
flooding and the lack of fresh air, thus greatly hampering the environment and people themselves. According to
research conducted in 2020, an approximate 42 billion tons of CO2 has been emitted into the atmosphere due to
deforestation, leading to the hole in the horizon enlarging and further harming the environment. In addition, the
burning of fossil fuels is also a prominent contributor to damaging the environment. Fossil fuels are exhaustible and
accompanied by the growing rate of fossil fuels exploited; soon all the non-renewable resources will run out, leaving
humans with no fuels and a polluted environment. As stated by the Environmental Protection Agency, toxic fluids
produced from hydraulic fracturing can contaminate drinking water sources. As a result, humans and sea creatures
are likely to be poisoned by the overexploitation of fossil fuels.
With the myriad threats the environment is faced with, the government and individuals can hinder the process of
damaging the Earth through these solutions. One way for individuals to impede deforestation is to support
organisations that fight deforestation. By supporting organisations such as: WWF, Greenpeace,.. individuals can also
help raise awareness of the public on deforestation. In the case of overexploiting fossil fuels, the government should
encourage citizens to install solar panels by investing money to develop state- of- the- art technologies.
To conclude, humans have adverse effect on the environment by ways such as deforestation and exploiting fossil
fuels; consequently, governments and individuals should take action by the afore-mentioned solutions.
- There are a few issues with wordiness/word order.
Bùi Quỳnh Anh

It is obvious that the actions of humans destroys the environment. This essay will address how the harm is caused, as
well as the steps that can be taken to protect our environment by the government and people.
There are several instances in which the atmosphere is polluted by persons. By making vehicles as their primary
means of transportation, people intensify air pollution. The more cars are powered, the more carbon dioxide is
emitted, after all. By generating too much garbage, manufacturers are also the major offenders of pollution. Moreover
in unsafe areas, such as the bay, there are people that spill garbage. Sadly, their careless acts rendered the river a
poisonous place for fish and other waterways to live. One thing that the government can do to prevent this from
happening is to incorporate a pollutant limit for industries. If a corporation emits more emissions than the allowed
amount, it will be charged. Industrial firms must then take the requisite steps to reduce their waste. Another approach
is to boost public transit. Having a Reliable, clean and secure public transit system would allow people to use them
instead of using private vehicles. Besides, every individuals can also contribute some of their time to do something like
reduce the use of nylon bags and instead use tote bags, they can also reduce rubbish created in houses.
In conclusion, the world that we know and love is being threatened by our behaviors and both the citizens and the
government can put a stop to this if we try our best.
- Avoid using the 1st person plural and the passive voice.
- You need to organize your writing into paragraphs. It would be better if you divided the body paragraphs into 2, one
of which relates to the causes and the remaining deals with solutions, instead of 1.
- There are quite a few grammar and punctuation mistakes.
3.54
Cấn Hoàng Khôi Nguyên

The accomplishment of great inventions is a double-edged sword to the environment. Although science has evolved
over time, humans are still not able to propose wholly effective compounds to solving environmental problems. This
essay will discuss the factors that are destroying the Earth overtime and how we can surpass the environment.
The first ground is the exorbitant amount of gases that are harmful to the environment. The rising colossal amount of
CO2, SO2 and NH3 are the culprits gases that detriment the ozone layer and aggravate global warming. During the
manufacturing process, factories risk leaking chemicals and creating greenhouse gases while burning fossil fuels.
Acts of burning oil, gas and coal as well as deforestation by humans are the chief in exacerbating the concentration of
CO2. A mundane activity- travelling using fuel vehicles also sends out toxic emissions daily and directly to the
environment.
The second major factor that corrupts the environment is the extortionate amount of plastics used. It is common
knowledge that plastic cannot be composed and only piles up into dangerous consequences overtime. Plastic bags
are undoubtedly responsible for billions of microplastic beads in food that humans consume on a daily basis.
Overflowing on the ocean surface and laying deep down on the ocean bottom, plastic is killing millions of innocent
animals every year. This catastrophe affects all organisms and heavily carries out issues for the food chain. All of this
is to blame on low cost one-use plastic products and the fancies for consumerism on plastic goods.
Fortunately, solutions to moderate environmental harms are available to put into action. Green vehicles should be
promoted by governments around the world. Not only do they produce less to no CO2 and alleviate global warming
but the vehicles are also more sustainable because they run on renewable energy. Governments should also put out
campaigns that encourage the act of recycling plastic or any kind of reusable waste to lessen the amount of
hazardous waste to animals and humans. Moreover, plastic bags should be banned completely. Paper bags, tote
bags and hessian bags are some examples of compostable materials that can substitute plastic.
To summarize, day-to-day emission of toxic gases and the needs of plastic goods are two leading causes of the
wrecking environment. However, these culprits can be debilitated if aforementioned solutions can be put into action by
governments globally.
- The writing should be organized more logically.
- The writing is also too wordy.
3.54
Nguyễn Ngọc Linh(9C t4)

In this ever-evolving society, bolstering the economy is the priority of every enterprise to attain at all costs, regardless
of the deterioration of the environmental quality. This essay will demonstrate some ways humans have damaged the
environment over the last few decades before proposing some satisfactory solutions to remedy this situation.
It is irrefutable that human activities are one of the primary culprits of the degradation of the environment. First,
immense energy consumption has proved to be a major hazard to the natural habitat. In fact, the prodigious amounts
of noxious substances released from fossil fuels combustion have significantly compounded air pollution. This is
caused by the dramatic surge in the use of fuel-powered vehicles including automobiles. It is evident that carbon
dioxide and gas emission from cars and trucks account for virtually thirty percent of global warming emissions,
rendering the atmosphere disturbingly contaminated. Furthermore, genetic modification has catastrophically
jeopardized the surrounding flora and fauna. There is some notable advance in agricultural innovation contrived to
help meet human’s growing dietary demands by transplanting non-native species. However, these may result in soil
erosions and those native ones being predominated by the afore-mentioned, exerting an adverse impact on the
biodiversity.
Numerous plausible solutions can be carried out to tackle these pressing issues. Firstly, more rigorous enforcement of
the extant law pertaining to these environmental concerns is a must. The government should implement stricter
environmental laws and fuel economy standards, helping mitigate gas emissions. Moreover, they had better allocate
more funding to organic cultivation. Besides, campaigns that raise public awareness about environmental concerns
and its repercussions should be intensified, impelling citizens to opt for appropriate lifestyle choices, such as switching
to electric vehicles or more environmentally-friendly items.
In conclusion, the unbridled consumption of exhaust energy and the application of genetic modification are to blame
for the dire state of the environment, and some viable solutions to these problems should be adopted for the pollution
abatement.
- You are using several words and terms incorrectly.
- A few of your points are unclear and underdeveloped.
5.56
Nguyễn Minh Khuê

Since time immemorial, nature has played an integral and indispensable part in people ‘s lives. However, human
beings nowadays are faced with a myriad of alarmingly environmental issues. This essay will analyse some ways in
which people are ruining the ecosystem before providing some feasible solutions to handle these problems.
It goes without saying that human activities contribute to natural issues. In the first place, industrial waste which is
dumped directly to the environment undoubtedly results in life-threatening water pollution. Factories and industrial
estates on-and-on expand, illegally release poisonous chemicals into lakes and rivers, talking a heavy toll on the
surrounding water areas. In addition, untreated household waste also leads to contaminated water. For instance, To
Lich river, where Hanoians dispose domestic waste, is believed to be one of “dead” rivers with the highest level of
water pollution in Vietnam. Moreover, the prevalence of sea tourism is another major contributor to the low quality of
water. The fact that the sea is teeming with rubbish thrown by tourists can not only spoil the natural beaty of the sea
but also poison the ocean, affecting the marine lives.
An array of plausible solutions are provided to numerous natural problems mentioned above. First of all, the
government should slow down the continuous number of factories and industrial estates built. Besides, the sea
tourism had better set some stricts rules to prevent tourists from littering. Additionally, it is advisable for individuals to
develop a habit of reusing and recycling so that there will be less rubbish thrown to the environment.
In conclusion, industrial waste, household sewage as well as the developing sea tourism all lead to environmental
issues. However, these aforementioned solutions can be the key to protect the natural ecosystem.
- The focus of the essay is quite narrow. Your intro/topic sentences/conclusion should reflect this (i.e., they should
deal directly with water pollution caused by waste disposal).
- You include quite a bit of repetitive/redundant information.
- You need to use more effective transitions (your use of the word "however" is not ideal).
Nguyễn Phương Liên

There is no denying that the environment plays an important part in human life. But the environment is being damaged
which causes negative effects on human life. In this essay, i will explain some of the ways in which human are
damaging the environment and suggest some solutions to address these problems.
It is common knowledge that human activities are damaging the natural environment. Firstly, global industrialization is
responsible for the environmental pollution. To specify, the global industrialization leads to the building of more
factories discharging waste waste, gas and sewage into ground, lakes and rivers. These actions will contaminate
water and groundwater sources. In addition, human have poor awareness of the importance of environmental
protection so they don't know how to protect the environment and save natural sources. People scatter trash, waste
electricity and water.
Implementing effective solutions to these problems effectively requires the contribution and responsibility of all people.
For their part, Governments can introduce laws to limit emission from factories and strictly punish those people who
break the laws. addressing these problems also needs the responsibility of each person. Plastic should be avoided
and reused. People should save energy, reduce the use of cars, motorbikes.
To conclude, it is necessary that realistic actions should be taken to save the environment which is badly damaged by
ourselves.
- Avoid using contractions.
- Make sure to capitalize the pronoun I and the first letter of each sentence.
24
Phạm Nhật Minh

These days the problems relating to the environment is a burning issue. There’s no denying that humans have causes
a lot of damage to the environment. This essay will expand on the topic and will name out some of the ways the
government could try to fix it.
Firstly, one of the main ways we negatively impact the environment is poaching. Thousands of animals are being
hunted down for decorative, medical or entertainment purposes. This means that each year illegal hunting causes a
huge loss of rare animals. As a result, many species are now on the verge of extinction. Secondly, pollution caused by
humans also takes a huge toll on the environment. Oil spills, air pollution or water contamination are evidently the
reason for the death of many sea and inland animals. Factories sometimes release into the environment contaminated
water, gases, chemicals or worse radioactive materials. This action can cause major damage to the natural
surroundings and can result in severe damage to the ecosystem there.
Luckily, there are many ways the government can help to resolve this issue. First of all, the government could allocate
more money to cleaning up the water and air. The government could also organize events to help increase public
awareness and raise funds to help address this problem. Everyone could help by refusing and reporting any illegal
trade. Also, it is crucial that factories to reduce the amount of harmful gas and chemicals they emit directly into the
environment. Finally, Responsible waste disposal should be practiced in every household, organic trash and scrap
metals are to be discarded separately.
In short, humans have damaged the environment by poaching and polluting have severely damaged the environment.
but the concerted efforts from everyone in saving the environment will yield the best result.
- Avoid using contractions.
Nguyễn Hoàng Thái Sơn

As the human civilization develops, its need for materials and resouces grows; undoubtedly, the only place where it
can acquire them is the Earth's natural environment. Tragically, not every human knows how to use those natural
resources efficiently and economically while protecting the environment in the process, thus leading to the ongoing
issues of wasted resources, pollution and loss of natural biomes and habitats, all of which have deleterious effects on
the environment. To tackle these issues and reduce their effects on the Earth's environment, both governmental
measures and individuals' actions should be taken.
[outline:
p1- how hooman damaging environment:
- exploiting resources (esp energy) without thinking => soon depleted natural resources => no more for the future
- polluting environment (soil, air, water, habitats,...) by directly disposing waste/harmful chemicals (excessive use of
insecticide, greenhouse gas + exhaust fumes emission, contaminating water bodies, ...) into the environment =>
intoxicated habitats, ecosystems and resources => harmful for all organisms => threatens life
- uncontrolled conversion of natural biomes into residential areas due to urban sprawl (by means of deforestation,
forest fragmentation, destruction of pristine ecosystems,...) => mass extinction of multiple species residing in the
biomes, damage to animal and ecosystem diversity, nature's state of equilibrium is lost => poses a threat to the
Earth's existence - and ours too u dummmmbass
p2: solutions aka how to tackle problems:

- governments: + raise awareness
+ limit urban sprawl + resource exploitation
+ raise fines and punishments for damaging the environment
+ policies that encourage conservation of ecosystems and nature protection by cutting down on the amount of money
needed for these projects, more funding for organisations and increase rewards for nature conservation actions
+ take production of renewable resources into operation (solar, wind, waves)
- individuals: +acknowledge their effects on the environment => know how to solve those problems
+ join environment protection organisations to take actions
+ try their best to prevent pollution or waste of resources (local scale)
+ raise other ppl's awareness of the issues; spread awareness
+ practice what they preach, too - use resources efficiently, waste less, reduce the amount of garbage they dispose by
recycling]
Wrong format
Lê Minh Ngọc
As humanity progress through the 21st century, we have impacted the world in unprecedented ways. Our
inconsiderate and intentional actions have resulted in dire consequences to both the nature and our own lives. This
essay will be outlining ways in which humans are damaging the environment, whereby discussing different
approaches governments can do to address these problems.
Human activities are directly contributing to the destruction of the environment. Firstly, the burning of fossil fuels such
as coal, oil and so on for the purpose of manufaturing and transportation have released a harmful compound known
as carbon dioxide ( CO2 ). CO2 will dissolves in water, creating carbonic acid that reduces the pH level of water.
According to interestingengineering.com, this acid has depleted the calcium concentration that is much needed for the
formation of many marine species’ shells and skeletons. Additionally, the mass consumption and production of
plastics is also a major factor attributing to the devastating state of the environment. Demands for a cheap and
convenient lifestyle that plastics enable has led to overflowing landfills, a dramatic increase in toxic pollutants and a
significant decrease in life quality.
The current state of the environment are calling for immediate actions from the governments. Firstly, they should issue
policies that concentrate on developing green, sustainable and clean sources of energy. Solar energy, wind energy,…
are all reasonable alternatives for fossil fuels. These renewable energy sources will reduce the volume of CO2 and
other exhaust fumes released to the environment. Secondly, funds should be invested in the production of jute or
hessian bags made up of jute – a material that can cleanse the air by consuming CO2, biodegradable and
compostable.
Apart from the governments, individuals should also take accountability for the environment. Specifically, Instead of
wasting money into plastic bags, it is advisable for them to use tote, jute or hessian bags. Bring their own flask to
lower the usage of plastic water bottles. Choose public transportation over private transportation. Take part in circular
economy. Each and every actions in your daily life counts.
In conclusion, the overproduction of non – renewable energy and overusage of plastics – based substance are the
main contributor to the destruction of the environment.; therefore governments and individuals need to accentuate the
importance of taking on the mentioned solutions.
- Avoid using the 1st person plural and the 2nd person voice.
- There are a few basic spelling mistakes.
- The writing could be more concise.
6.5
Cáp Hà Linh
It is undeniable that humans are responsible for the damage we have done to our living environment. In this essay, I
will give an explanation of how the damage is caused, and demonstrate some viable measures that governments or
individuals can do in order to tackle this problem.
Among the umpteen threats to the environment, pollution and wastes are the most alarming of them all. Toxic gases
which come from thousands of running facilities and vehicles that human use worsen air pollution, which causes
global warming later on. Humanity is also continuously polluting natural soil and water. In fact, many estimates have
shown that there is an enormous amount of sewage being dumped to the sea, and rubbish being left untreat on the
streets every hour. Moreover, the over-exploitation of non-renewable resources is as well the culprit behind the
devastation of our habitat. Logging and deforestation do account for the ever increasing destruction of natural flora
and fauna, or desertification.
Therefore, governments should have specific approach to lessen the damage. First of all, They can impose a stricter
ban on littering, fine people who do not obey the laws, or even put them in jail. At the same time, Forcing big
companies to use solar or wind energy to create electricity is not a bad idea either. In addition, individual acts also
play a crucial part in solving the problem. It is reasonable to travel more by public transportations, and each of us
should use more environmentally friendly products, for instance, using reusable cloth-made bags in lieu of plastic bags
when shopping. Plus, responsible disposal of waste should also be put into practice in every household. To be more
precise, organic trash and scrap metal are to be classified and discarded in different bins.
In a conclusion, everyone needs to have a thorough understanding of how we are putting our environment in danger.
Thus, by following the aforementioned steps, the future of our environment can be greatly secured.
- Avoid using the 1st person plural and the passive voice.
- There are a few word order issues.
7.5
Luyện Phương Linh

In recent decades, the environment is alarmingly contaminated.This essay will both discuss in detail some ways in
which humans are degrading the environment and propose several countermeasures to reverse it.
It is irrefutable that human activities majorly contribute to environmental pollution. First, the improper waste
management system installed in the manufacturer zones has detrimented the water sources. Supposed the chemical
fertilizers sprayed on the crops to kill bacterias infect the soil and in turn, mix up with groundwater, it will harm the
aquatic bodies, pushing them to the brink of death. Besides, cast of plastic bags into the ocean also poses a grave
threat to the marine life as fish may involuntarily swallow up them whereby be hindered to digest. Second, excessive
exhaust emissions from cars and factories have catastrophically exacerbated air pollution. Evidently, this mainly stems
from the act of combusting fossil fuels and using automatic fuel-powered vehicles. Taken the middle-class using
motorbikes as the daily commune as a prime example.
Having said that, there are multiple approaches to resolve these issues. First of all, the authorities should make
attempt to further establish an adequated treatment of sewage to have hazardous substances be thoroughly filterd.
They should also popularize the use of eco-friendly products and recyclable materials as well. For example,
substituting plastic bags for cloth ones and minimizing bottles are undoubtedly the compelling solutions. Secondly,
campaigns aimed to raise public awareness about environmental degradation need intensifying forthwith. By this way,
people will be enlightened about how paramount importance the nature is, hence strive to protect it. In fact, some
people, after being promoted awareness, have already replaced personal vehicles into public transports as a
response to exhaust fumes.
In conclusion, the poor sewage treatment system and undue consumption of energy sources are the primary culprits
of environmental degradation nowadays. Therefore, people across the globe should follow feasible solutions
mentioned above so as to protect the planet Earth.
- There are a few basic spelling mistakes.
- Make sure that every comma and period is followed by a space.
- The writing is wordy/awkward at times. There are also several issues with word order.
5.5
Nguyễn Thùy Trang

It is undeniable that the environment is being undermined at the hands of human. This essay will point out
undoubtable vindication why and outline a few workaround to tackle this top-notch controversial issues in the world for
the time being.
Firstly, the fact that people are chopping down trees can lead to soil erosion and aggressive corrosion. In agriculture,
soil erosion is the process by which topsoil is removed due to physical factors such as water and wind or factors
related to farming activities. Whenever people chop down trees, water and wind may blow away the rich topsoil that
leaves the soil behind unable to thrive. Therefore, the resulting land will not be able to sustain its nutrition and will
become wasted land. Secondly, pastoralists, usually ethnic minorities, and their livestock have impacted the
environment by their way of developing agriculture – nomadic cultivation. This phenomena may be detrimental to the
use of natural land because after nomads exert the land for temporary agricultural activities, they leave it dry and
move to another places to plow and the cycle of lands being wasted continues.
Therefore, the government and individuals should put solutions to the fore-mentioned problems into action. Forests
and natural areas should be protected and used wisely to secure the acreage of land for other purposes. The
government should impose the Forest Protection and Development Law, foster and enhance people’s awareness of
the importance of forests. Forest protection in mountainous areas should be strengthened and entrust to people with
high responsibility. For individuals, especially ethnic minorities, should be equipped with disciplinary rules. The
violations need to be handled strictly, by both monetary fine and higher levels of punishment such as imprisonment.
Humans have caused a major vandalism to the ecosystem, and there is unquestionably no way to help the
environment return to its pristine state. Hence, maybe there is enough time for raising human consciousness,
protecting what remains of the ecosystem and preserving it.
- The writing is shorter than required but wordy and the essay contains a great deal of redundant information.
- Your focus is quite narrow. You should focus on issues other than the creation of wasteland
25
Nhữ Hà Xuân Anh

In today’s ever-changing world, the Earth is being hurt at an alarming rate. Indeed, human beings cause damage to
the environment in a number of ways and it is people’s duty to take action to protect it. This essay will discuss how
human harm their environment as well as what steps the government and individuals can take to preserve it.
There are three main factors which contaminate the atmosphere. Firstly, it is apparent that the excessive use of
private vehicles and the exhaust fumes they produce has a major role to play in this problem. In particular, since
vehicles are responsible for the huge amount of exhaust fumes, and the growing number of private vehicles will
probably mean a significant increase in this toxic gas, exacerbating air pollution. Second, there is no doubt that the
worsening environment can partly be attributed to the industrial waste from factories. Obviously, mass production
means enormous amount of industrial waste to be treated; factories, however, are inclined to handle their waste
recklessly because they consider this process an unnecessarily expensive one, and some even just discharge the
waste into rivers and seas without any treatment, deteriorating water pollution tremendously. Finally, the excessive
household waste is one of the penetrators of pollution. In fact, recent years have witnessed a surge in household
waste, the majority of which are not classified but are either being transported directly to landfills or dumped into the
ground and rivers, contaminating the soil and water, thus an unreliable source of underground water and the death of
myriads of species of marine animals.
However, there are a plentitude of methods that both the government and individuals can follow to resolve this burning
issue. To begin with, the government should improve public transportations by making them become safer, cleaner
and more affordable, for it proves an incentive for commuters to choose them. Moreover, they can also introduce an
additional tax on private vehicles and raise the price of petrol as it can possibly discourage citizens from using them.
Second, the government can also implement a pollution threshold for factories, forcing them to limit their industrial
waste. Particularly, should any factories exceed the permitted amount, they will be fined severely or even prohibited
from operating for a contemporary space of time; therefore, factories owners will be motivated to take measures to
minimize the waste and target at proper disposal of it. Last but not least, individuals themselves, with the aid of social
media and governmental campaigns, should reduce their household waste by applying the 3Rs. For example, they
can probably use an old cloth bag permanently instead of a plastic bag for once.
In conclusion, the main reason for the damage caused to the environment includes the excessive use of private
vehicles, untreated industrial and household waste. However, the government can implement policies to promote
public transportations and minimize the amount of industrial waste and individuals can take steps to lessen household
waste.
- The writing iss quite wordy but well-structured.
- You could use a greater variety of different transitions.
Ngô Châu Anh

It is undeniable that people are injuring their perspectives which influence human life immeasurably. Natural sources
are prerequisite for bolstering the economy of mankind. However, the eco-system is being threatened by humans.
This essay will indicate some ways that people are devastating the environment then compile some solutions which
would diminish the condition.
First of all, An uncountable amount of junk is littered every year. Some of them are thrown to the sea which causes
water pollution, while non-biodegradable trash would harm the ground and cause soil contaminating. The deficiency of
fossil fuels shortly in some country is at an alarming state. For instance, scientists have prognosticated that Viet Nam
will run out of its resources in the average time of 26.8 years. This need to be fixed immediately to prevent the
exhaustion of natural sources that are essential for the development of society.
To tackle the issue, country leaders should raise the funding of the eco-friendly milieu, high-tech, and forth, as well as
raising public awareness towards their carbon-footprints. Hence, changing their daily habit and thoughts to protect the
environment. I suggest getting used to eco-friendly products. For example, they could use biodegradable nylon bags
or travel by bike if possible.
In summary, several imperative environment problems and solutions have been mentioned above to protect
environment-our life.
- The essay is far too short. You need to develop your points much more.
- You need to use more effective transitions and connect your sentences more logically to one another.
14
Nguyễn Việt Minh Châu

Our planet earth has recently suffered from climate change lately with extreme heat days and now it is at risk of
another global warming.
Surprisingly, such events like that are mostly caused by humans. It is said theres about 97% of scientists have come
to this conclusion. These are common ways that human physically affect the environment: Overpopulation,
deforestation, burning fossil fuels and pollution. By doing this, we will trigger climate changes. An example of this is
that how burning fossil fuels indirectly cause it. Co2 released from doing so will increase the concentration of
greenhouse gas in our atmosphere, resulting in an increase in temperature.
But, there are still ways to prevent this from getting worse. You, as an individual, can propagate everyone else to limit
the use of fossil fuels for transportation, plant trees or protest the government to make moves on this matter.
Governments can limit the amount of wood being chopped down by wood companies every day, limit use of wood,
banning companies from dumping chemicals into rivers, lake,.... Together, we all can make a difference
- The language is far too basic.
- The essay is too short, underdeveloped, and poorly organized.
0.52
Đoàn Minh Đức

In our world of industrialization, pollution is one of the society’s mounting concerns. Never before has this issue ever
been urging us to think about what we have done for Mother Nature and craving for a change. This essay will analyze
the causes of environmental degradation and propose some notable solutions to the problem of adulterating the
environment.
To start, one of the first malefactors to blame is transportation. Undoubtedly, carbon emission, which is mostly
churned out by traffic, is the central cause of air pollution, and that does not include the high intensity of the sound
emitted by the number of vehicles, which plays a significant role in exacerbating sound pollution. Furthermore, the
development of industrial action also contributes greatly to the downfall of Earth’s environment. Manufacturing
industries release substantial amounts of chemical waste into the air, and unfortunately these industries can be found
in every corner of the Earth, leaving no place unspoiled by it.
Needless to say, the continually increasing concern of the environment is pressurizing not just the authorities but each
and every individual into coming up with solutions to tackle the issue, and it is believed that even the slightest change
makes a difference. For example, it is advisable that people should start making frequent use of public transportation
rather than using their own automobile. This action will result in an outstanding decrease in the amount of carbon
emission. On a larger scale, stringent outlines ought to be made by the government to further address the problem.
In conclusion, it is unambiguous that the environment has been alarmingly contaminated by human beings and that
the Earth is dying under the influence of industrialization. Therefore, should we do not start to act promptly, soon
enough, man will have a dose of his own medicine.
- You need to develop your arguments more and provide relevant/specific information. You should also come up with
additional reasons/solutions.
- Some of the language in the intro and the conclusion is far too extreme.
1.54
Nguyễn Thanh Thảo

Humans are impairing their natural habitat in innumerable ways including littering and contaminating water resources.
To solve this problem, the authorities such as governments can proceed campaigns with a view to raise the public's
awareness of the currently dire state of the environment. On the other hand, individuals have to understand how their
lifestyles are being a detriment to the environment, and have the will to change themselves.
First of all, the large consumption of products is what leads to the condition in which humans throw away too many
trashes. After being thrown, such waste can goes to landfills, forests or the ocean. Chemical waste can cause land
degradation, which will sooner leads to the end of many plants' existence.
Secondly, plastic trashes such as packages and bottles in the ocean can break down into smaller and smaller pieces
by time, and can be mistaken with planktons - the main food source of myriads of marine lives. Plastic can be deadly
poisonous if consumed as food, which leads to the death of many marine creatures.
Thirdly, in order to improve the current environmental state, the governments can organize lessons providing basic
information about the process of polluting the environment, as well as methods to solve the problems. Campaigns can
be proceeded and environmental organizations can be invested in.
Last of all, individuals themselves plays a decisive role in the future of the environment. Changes they make in order
to fix their lifestyle in a more sustainable way can do a great deal of improvement. A large quantity of daily products
can be cut down gradually until there are only necessary products left. The same method can be used for reducing the
amount of water consumption.
In conclusion, humans' damages on the environment are uncountable; however, problems can be resolved if people's
awareness are raised significantly by governments.
- You need to organize your essay more logically. The solutions should be separate from the problems (i.e., they
should not be in the same sequence).
- You should come up with more causes/solutions.
- There are various basic grammar mistakes.
- The introduction should provide a more general overview of the topic (e.g., the link between people and
environmental damage).
23
phạm minh châu

The natural world has always affected humans' life substantially. Consequently, the decrease in the environment
quality, which is caused by humans themselves, is undoubtedly a burning issue. This essay will illuminate some ways
in which humans are harming their surrounding environment as well as suggest some viable measures governments
and individuals should take in order to tackle this problem.
Humans' activities have been damaging the environment severely. To begin with, the toxic air and untreated chemical
wastes being irresponsibly disposed by factories pollutes the air and water to the point that it can result in the death of
many animals and plants. In fact, when factories were closed down during the COVID-19 lockdown, the air quality
around the world immediately improved, the water became cleaner, some population-decreasing animals and plants
around industrial zones even revived. In addition, people throwing household rubbish directly into rivers, lakes and the
sea or burning plastic wraps and fossil fuels, dumping poisonous waste also contributes to the catastrophe. For
example, the gas emitted from vehicles, especially motorbikes, is to blame for the worsening air condition in cities
such as Delhi, Mumbai, Wuhan, Beijing and Hanoi.
Specific approaches should be taken to protect the environment. Firstly, governments should tighten the management
of waste handling in every households and industrial zones by intensifying punishments for irresponsible disposal
behaviors. There should also be propagandas and campaigns organized to raise people’s awareness of the situation.
Each person can make a difference through small actions such as avoiding using single-use items, switching to non-
fossil fuel vehicles or classifying garbage before discarding.
All in all, it is the inefficient emission of waste that is the primary cause of environment damages. But with the
solutions proposed above and the joint effort of the community, there is always hope to change the situation.
- You should clarify a few of your points.
Đồng Khánh Linh

These days, environmental issues have been substantially aggravated and it has taken its toll on human life. The
essay below will illustrate ways in which human have been damaging the environment therefore listing workable
solutions to attenuate this problem.
There are two main reasons why the environment is being damaged. In many parts of the world, overpopulation is a
major problem to the environment. Overpopulation is inextricably associated with over-farming and deforestation. As
the rising global population increases, more food is needed therefore leads to intensive farming or through
deforestation to create more farm lands. This approach is characterized by reliance on pesticides, herbicides and
fertilizers which also results in soil erosion. Additionally, pollution has also been a long-term problem. Several
environmental effects of pollution can be listed such as deforestation, depletion of the ozone layer or decreases of wild
life species.
There are multiple measures to mitigate the situation. Firstly, the government should invest more in population
planning, tighten the rules regarding the number of children a family can have. Secondly, the authorities need to
allocate more money to the pollution control system. Thirdly, more campaigns need to be created to raise public
awareness about the environmental problems and how to tackle it. It is not until people are aware of the problems that
they will change their outlook on this issue and start to take actions,
To conclude, the two primary reasons behind the environmental issues are overpopulation and pollution and with
provided solutions being endorsed, the environment can be protected.
- You need to develop/explain your arguments more.
- There are several basic punctuation mistakes.
5.5
Phạm Hoàng My
In modern days, we are facing burning issues related to nature like climate change, soil erosion, global warming,
floods, etc... and they are occurring more constantly and weightily than ever before. Apparently, those problems
culminate from the fact that humans are damaging the environment ceaselessly. However, the situation won’t
aggravate if we take steps to reduce the harm we are causing to the environment. This essay will discuss
environmental issues and propose measures that governments and individuals can take to improve the situation.
First and foremost, one of the biggest threats we are facing right now is air pollution. Gas emissions from factories and
fumes from vehicles can lead to global warming and poor air qualities. Furthermore, human’s health can also be
drastically affected the environment by air pollution in which they can get pneumonia, lung cancer or other various
respiratory diseases. Secondly, overpopulation also dramatically affects the environment as the amount of waste
produced increases. The waste will contaminates the soil and pollute lakes, rivers and oceans.
Countries’ leaders, the governments could certainly try to make effort to ameliorate the situation. They could impose
taxes on cars and motorcycles drivers or airline companies. This will encourage people to travel less and resort more
on public transportation so the amount of gas emissions will be reduced. Governments could also promulgate laws
which entail reducing the limit of gas emissions and waste excreted by factories or making companies use more
renewable energy sources.
Individuals are also responsible for the impact they have made to the environment. Most importantly, Customers could
consume less plastic products and try to use more environmentally-friendly ones. For instance, they could use cloth
bags provided by supermarkets or reuse old bags at home when they go shopping, instead of plastic bags. Moreover,
citizens should select public transportation more to cut down on the level of exhaust fumes from the vehicles.
To sum up, both governments and individuals should play a vital role on protecting the environment. Besides, who
wants to live in a filthy world?
- Avoid using the 1st person plural and contractions.
- The part dealing with the causes should be developed more.
Nguyễn Đức Anh - lớp Anh chuyên thứ ba

The environment is seriously damaged in today's world, which also causes catastrophic consequences to human life.
This essay will analyze how the environment is being damaged by humans, as well as some plausible solutions the
government or individuals can take to address this situation.
It is undeniable that the environment is being contaminated by humans. First, pollution result from human activities,
which include industrial emission, the large amount of fossil fuel and exhaust fumes from automobiles. For instance,
the combustion fossil fuels such as coal, oil,...is for meeting the demand of using energy for electricity or
transportation. Additionally, the consequences of overpopulation are quite serious, with the most severe effect is
environmental deterioration. Humans require tons of space for any purpose can result in more clear-cutting, damaging
the ecosystem and a large amount of waste.
Some workable solutions can be carried out to resolve this burning issue. Firstly, the government should take action to
reduce air pollution. The authority should enact laws to restrict the emissions from factories that release into
environment, as well as to give impetus for funding and investments for renewable energy . Secondly, awareness
campaign should be launched worldwide. Thus, individuals take responsibilities for the activities that can damage the
environment and nudge towards some different lifestyle choices, like riding a bike instead of walking or using more
renewable energy.
In conclusion, air pollution and overpopulation are the primary causes of environmental problems. and it is crucial that
the government and individuals should take action to tackle this issue and protect the planet.
- You need to develop your arguments more, particularly in the paragraph dealing with the causes of environmental
problems.
5.5
Hoàng Thùy Anh

In today’s world, the world we live in is being heavily damaged by mankind; thus, resulting in some monumental
problems. The essay below will outline a number of reasons for this situation and propose possible solutions to the
problem.
One of the main causes of this problem is industrialization. This process has been around for years now and has since
made numerous detrimental effects. While it does possess several merits, it inevitably brings about pollution problems
in the form of water, air or even soil pollution. A renowned example would be the advent of the steam train in the 19th
century. Since its debut, the steam train had proved itself as a blessing in the field of transportation; however, the
consequence seems to have outweighed the perks as the sky was filled with thick black smoke and occasionally,
people could not even see the sun. Therefore, it can be clearly observed that civilization has badly affected nature.
However, there are a number of viable solutions to help preserve our ecosystem. Firstly, limiting the use of natural
gases and coal can prove practical to the atmosphere. In lieu of that, renewable energies can be put to use not only
because they have been proved to be environmentally friendly but the use of them also helps maintain Earth’s natural
resources. The second possible step that could be taken to help curb this problem is to control factories’ waste
treatment process in factories to ensure that junks are carefully taken care of.
In conclusion, while humanity have seriously harmed nature, there are a number of viable solutions to counteract this
problem.
- The essay is quite short and the focus is far too narrow.
- The writing is wordy at times.
54
Nguyễn Phúc Hưng

For the time being, the indisputable damage homo sapiens made towards the ecosystem has been a matter of
concern among the public. Consequently, human have to endure the low living standard resulting from the
deterioration of the environment. This essay will discuss humanity's harmful influence on the earth and show several
solutions to the problem.
Human are obviously demolishing the environment they are living in. To begin with, the overexploitation of natural
resources has taken a toll on biodiversity. It is evident that people's farming, fishing and forestry triggered the die-off of
a plethora of unique animals and plants. According to researchers, 173 species have died out as a result of mankind’s
activities. Moreover, the increasing volume of waste that are generated due to population growth and risen living
standards have caused visible consequences. For example, the overuse of non-biodegradable materials results in
inadequacies of waste treatments. Plastics and other non-biodegradable garbage are often dumped into landfills, in
which the chemical reactions between rainwater and the plastic generates toxic substances that move into nearby
water and soil, harming the flora and fauna.
Therefore, the government must take concrete measures to tackle aforesaid concerns. Firstly, environmental
campaigns are to be held with a view to raise citizen’s awareness of their responsibilities in protecting the earth. The
Authorities also need to have proper punishments on environmental destruction, pecuniary penalty or imprisonment
when needed. For their part, Each individual ought to be aware of the ecosystem's current condition, and thus having
specific actions to solve the matter. For example, People are to transfer into a far more economical and eco-friendly
lifestyle so as not to put a strain on the pollution problems.
In brief, the overuse of natural elements are not only affect the wildlife but also harmfully influence human’s living
standards; therefore, solutions must be taken by both authorities and individuals in order to surmount inextricable
situation.
- Your conclusion needs to reflect more accurately the points you make in the essay.
- There are quite a few grammar issues.
3.56
vương thu giang

It is inevitably true that since the action of humans on the environment, it has been significantly affected. To avoid
putting the nature in jeopardy, we have to take responsibility for their actions and attempt to reduce the adverse
effects we are making. This essay will look at several actions causing environmental damage and some steps for
governments and individuals could take to mitigate these issues.
Air pollution is one of the biggest environmental threats since it has and will affects human lifes globally. Gas
emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles result in global warming, which is well recognized as a
great issue because of its detrimental impact on the climate and in the long run, each of us. Another site that is being
heavily damaged but unfortunatly, without human’s concern is water. The increase in human population comes along
with a huge quantity of waste, especially plastic waste which not only pollutes rivers and oceans but also harms
underwater lifeforms.
The government can solve environmental problems with several actions. First, they can reduce pollution by decrease
the use of fossil fuels in manufacturing, transportation and electricity generation. For instance, the government could
make tax cuts to renewable energy producing companies and increase the tax on factories account for gas emissions
and vehicle issue exhaust fumes such as cars, motorbikes and so on. Second, in term of transportation, they could
improve public transports to meet people’s demand on convenience, safety and frequency.
What is more than government laws is the compliance of the society with those. Each individuals should be
responsible to lower down pollution level in their surroundings in everyday lives. In purchasing, ecofriendly, green
product should be in priority. In commuting, buses and subways or other means of public transportation should be
taken as much as possible.
In conclusion, both governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.
- Make sure to end each sentence with a period.
- You need to provide much more specific information to support your claims.
4.5
Nguyễn Nhật Lam

In recent days, articles and documents are warning about the same problem: Us humans are in various ways,
damaging our eco-system. My essay here will express some methods that humanity is destroying the environment,
and what can we do to be aware of this matter.
First of all, let’s discuss about the ways that we are doing right now. The invention of plastic bags can nearly be the
very best start of the whole problem. Every day we see floods of plastic coming out from households, factories and
buildings into rivers, streams, landfills and most of them end up in the ocean.
Another problem is that we overuse wood. Deforestation, and forestfires come in right after that. People cut down
woods to make paper, furniture, fires and so on. Yet few of them are aware of the bad effects that their action causes.
Wood overuse also leads to a burning matter called animal’s habitat loss. When forests are cut down, wild animals
such as tigers, lions and elephants would have no where to live. What happens next is they are hunted and killed.
Skins, horns, body organs from those poor creatures are widely admired and buyed. In these three main ways,
humanity are slowly damaging our Mother Earth, everyday.
The most recent question that are asked around the world is how do we solve this matter. Is the responsiblity ours – or
is it the governments’? The answer is it belongs to everyone.
We must do something now to address this matter worldwide, or it will be too late. Educate people around us,
especially young children and friends, to spread the warning about the environment. We can use leaflets and posters
about protecting Earth and dangerous problems to help others be aware of this problem. On the other hand, the
government can use laws and regulations to tighten the use of plastic bags, made-from-animals products and wood.
Make speeches about the environment’s current situation, and help people be creative by asking them to give out their
own solutions.
To sum up, us humans are damaging the eco-system heavily, and it’s us who should think of ways to save our short-
lasting clean world.
- The writing is FAR too informal. Avoid using contractions and the 1st person voice.
- The writing is also far too wordy.
- You need to provide more specific information.
- This is the Vietnamese writing style written in English, not academic writing style at all!
23
Nguyễn Châu Khang

The ongoing environmental problems that our planet is facing are believed to have developed mainly due to human
interference. To quickly tackle these issues, urgent attention and proactive steps towards this situation is required.
The number of environmental problems has grown to a great extent in the past few years. Global warming, pollution
and deforestation are predisposed to destroying the earth. Water pollution, an alarming threat to our ecosystem, is
primarily caused by oil spill, industrial waste with harmful chemicals as its component and the sewage that is produced
in numerous households. On the other hand, climate change is the repercussion of many human practices such as
cutting down rainforests, performing activities involved in the manufacturing stage of food production or burning fossil
fuels, which emits vast amount of carbon dioxide into the air.
Among the variety of solutions for environmental issues that can be done, recycling is the most effortless approach.
Individuals can use recycled items like recycled papers and grocery bags or switching to cloth shopping bags exert
immense effects on completely reducing the usage of plastic bags. To deal with air contamination and global warming,
it is important to use green energy as that will cut back on fossil fuel emissions. For their part, The governments and
large authorities on the other hand, with their money and credibility, they can definitely take account to reduce
pollutions and natural disasters. Companies with big reputation can make campaigns, share them all over the world
and spread awareness on protecting the environment.
After all, it is the responsibility of everyone to join hands in keeping the earth green and clean. By adopting the
aforementioned methods, it is possible to decrease environmental pollution on a large extent.
- The writing is quiteshorter than required but wordy.
- You need to provide more specific information to explain and develop your points more.
Nguyễn Phạm Minh Anh

It is irrefutable that human beings are destroying the environment. In this essay, I will point out a few ways that we are
doing so as well as name some ways in which the government can do to solve these problems.
First of all, overpopulation is a serious problem that we have to face today. Overpopulation can cause numerous
problems such as a rise in unemployment because of with more people it will be much more challenging to find a job,
likewise humans necessities such as water and food will Ben harder to get when there are more people. Deforestation
is another way in which humans are destroying by the environment. Deforestation can cause some dire effects on the
environment like soil erosion, climate change, an increase in greenhouse gases to name a few.
In conclusion, overpopulation and deforestation are some of the ways humans are damaging the environment. And I
believe that the government can help out with this matter by promoting people to Usenet green energy for this type of
energy is clean and infinite in
comparison to the other types, the can also tackle the problem by protecting and restoring ecosystems.
- The essay is too short. You need to develop your points more and provide more specific information.
- The essay is also poorly organized. You need to include a separate paragraph dealing with the solutions to the
problem.
12
Bùi Minh Quang

Since the developments of many countries in the past several decades, there has been questions about what effects
these countries have on the environment and what measures government should take to make a change. In this
essay, I will be discussing and giving my opinion on this matter.
First, industrial waste as long as living wastes are one of the major factors threatening the environment. In this day
and age, thousands of factories are being built everywhere, producing massive effusion of smoke. As a result of
overused fuel-powered vehicles, exhaust from cars, motorcycles,... has been exacerbating the air quality index.
Moreover, the consequences of deforestation are natural disasters and climate change, which melts the ice in North
Pole. Therefore, it also manufactures greenhouse gas – which impact directly to the greenhouse. Despite all of this, in
recent years the developments in science and technology have also helped to preserve endangered wildlife species
and rare biosystems.
First and foremost, governments is responsible for taking actions of protecting ecosystems keys such as rivers,
oceans and forests, especially mangroves, which is enable to be a barrier against tropical storms and other calamities.
Additionally, what we can do is promoting green energy, solving thirty-five percent of all global emissions.
Tecnological developments are now allowing us to have a chance to use clean energies from wind, solar,
geothermal... with reasonable prices.
In conclusion, environment will only be improved when those solutions are being understood throughoutly by every
single person.
- There are various basic grammar and spelling issues.
- You need to develop your arguments more and provide specific information.
- You need to use more effective transitions and organize the essay more logically.
13.5
Nguyễn Khánh Vân

In the world today, environmental pollution is a very painful problem for years and the culprit is us humans. Therefore,
humans need to act immediately to save this earth.
Human impacts on the environment include, directly or indirectly, changes to the physiological and ecological
environment, to biodiversity and natural resources caused by humans, including warming. global, environmental
degradation, mass extinction and biodiversity loss, ecological crisis and ecological collapse. Changing the
environment to match the needs of society is having serious effects, and they are getting worse as population
overpopulation continues to increase. Some human activities cause damage (directly or indirectly) to the environment
on a global scale including population growth, over consumption, overexploitation, pollution and deforestation. A
number of problems, including global warming and biodiversity loss that endanger humankind, and overpopulation and
misuse of resources have caused problems.
Recently, there are laws amending and supplementing a number of articles of the Law on Environmental Protection
and discussing around the main issues of the law project. First of all, the government has to come up with a way to
protect the environment in response to climate change. In addition, they also need to raise the awareness of the whole
society. Not only the government, but also our people have a responsibility to protect the environment. For example,
they could Collecting damaged batteries, limiting the use of plastic bags are extremely useful things that we can do.
Not only that, we should recycle organic waste into green manure and use soap made with natural ingredients,etc.
After all, environmental protection is extremely important. Raise awareness of yourself as well as those around you to
build a green-clean-beautiful world.
- Make sure to end each sentence with a period.
- You need to proofread your writing to avoid any basic mistakes.
- The writing is far too wordy and repetitive.
13
Lê Song Thư
Since human’s forces are conceded to have devastating effects on worsening the nature’s quality, individuals and
governments must take immediate actions to mend the situation. This essay will clarify some ways that people are
causing irreparable damages to the Earth's environment before giving out a number of resolutions to reduce the
problem.
one of the foremost severe threats to the nature is human’s contamination, First, Global warming, which is regarded
as a large-scale issue for its ruinous impacts, is a consequence of gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes
from fuel-powered vehicles. Take some hydroelectric plants in Vietnam as example of eliminating tons of sewage that
contain poisonous petroleum after purify the water, as a result, the sewage system in Viet Nam are alarmingly
contaminated. Secondly, the upsurge in population comes along with abundant of domestic waste, which is a major
contributor to the pollution.
Many plausible solutions can be done to remedy the above-mentioned problems. First and foremost, governments can
certainly play a vital role in protecting our planet can as they have the right to bring out laws to put a limit on the
energy consumption in production and boost companies to use renewable energy like sun or wind power instead of
fossil fuels, such as gas, old or coal. Furthermore, they can also innovate the public transportation system rather than
driving which can reduce the amount of exhaust fumes. Secondly, individuals can also try to use public transport
instead of a private vehicles, and avoid using air travel when possible. Also, people should purchase reusable
products and recycle things as much as possible to reduce unnecessary waste dumping to the environment. For
example, it is recommended to use products with less packaging or with the packaging that made from degradable
materials.
In conclusion, I believe that national governments as well as individuals need to take immediate measures to stop
destroying the earth in order to protect our planet for our future generations.
- There are various basic punctuation mistakes.
- Avoid using the 1st personal plural.
- The paragraph dealing with the causes is underdeveloped.
- The writing is quite wordy and many of the sentences are too long.
3.5
Vo Nhat Linh
Human being is responsible for tonnes of damages to the environment, but also only we are capable of diminishing
the damages we’ve cause to our planet. This essay will explain some of the ways that human damages the
environment/ nature surrounding, I will introduce ways that government and indivisual can minimise the there impact.
One of the biggest drivers that wrecked our planet by far is using fossil energy escessively and carelessly. The action
of burning of fossil fuels – coal, gas and oil – for everyday usage such as running vehicles and manufacturing has
increased the concentration of greenhouse gases in our atmosphere therefore causing the average temperature of our
planet to increased. Another major contributor to environmental destruction is deforestation. Deforestation results from
clearing forests for agriculture and others, affect rain patterns.
Actions should be taken immediately by the government, such as the introduction of laws limiting emission from
factories and heavy fines, coupled with allocate funding for renewable energy such as hydro or solar energy be taken
into consideration – all to minimize the dependance of people on the consumption of fossil fuels – and stopping the
greenhouse effect. As for the people, the importance of promotional event should be intensified, so they know clearly
about environmental harm, and the repercussions of deteriorated environment, therefore making better lifestyle
choices.
in conclusion, mh
- There are numerous grammar and spelling issues.
- Avoid using contractions and the 1st person plural.
- You need to develop your arguments and provide more specific information.
Nguyễn Lê Uyên Linh

In our ever-changing world, it is irrefutable that the environment is devastated mostly by humans; however, the
remedies for this issue vary. This essay will demonstrate a wide range of sources that lead to this alarming state of the
environment and analyze ways in which governments and individuals can take to tackle this problem.
There are a variety of factors that contribute to the damage of the environment. Firstly, there is no denying that the
constant increase in the number of the world’s population is putting pressure on natural resources. Therefore, more
people desire to travel by cars, leading to the fact that a substantial amount of exhaust fumes released by vehicles.
This proved to be one major cause of climate change . In addition, gas emissions from factories is also a factor
leading to global warming. Secondly, enormous areas of rainforest have been cut down. For example research has
shown that the tropics lost about 61,000 square miles of forest in 2017- an area the size of Bangladesh.
Nevertheless, individuals and environments are still have the ability to take steps towards the preservation of the
environment. For instance, governments should introduce laws to limit emissions from factories. This will undoubtedly
reduce pollution rate in industrial areas. Moreover, they also need to invest in renewable energy including solar, wind
and water power. As an individual, one should try to recycle as much as possible. It is also advisable to take public
transports rather than traveling by one’s own vehicles.
In short, pollution is being remarkably damaged by humans and we should take measures to address this problem.
4.5
Nguyễn Tú Anh
There is no denying that human activities exert great adverse influences on the natural environment, and this has
become an alarmingly serious issue over the world. This essay will illustrate some of the ways in which the natural
environment is being degraded by human activities as well as several solutions to this global issue.
It is inevitable that multiple human activities are major contributors to the degradation of the natural environment.
Firstly, the rapid and massive population growth is putting pressure on natural resources, and more severely,
overexploitation is becoming a mounting concern through millennia. In fact, each creature has its own role in the
ecosystem, but degraded ones will be slow to recover or even not recover naturally. Secondly, humans are worsening
the environment by dumping wastes. For instance, factories are the primary culprits behind discharging large amount
of waste into water resources. Due to the increase in human population and the constant availability of consumer
goods, the landfills are being overloaded, rivers and oceans are also heavily polluted.
There are plausible solutions which can be practiced to partly retrieve the undamaged environment. Firstly,
governments subsidies for green technology should be allocated, since this can largely contribute to finding viable
substitutes for fossil fuels. Moreover, since the degradation of the natural environment is an alarming issue across the
globe, governments can collaborate. Thereby, not only the optimal solutions can be sought, but the problem can also
be tackled with on a wider scale. Secondly, the implements of campaigns and events to raise public awareness of the
devastated state of the environment should be enhanced.
In conclusion, the overexploitation of natural resources, the excessive use of carbon-intensive energy and the large
quantities of waste being created are some of the critical factors contributing to the environmental problems.
Therefore, governments and individuals universally need to present certain blueprints to protect the planet.
- You should provide more relevant and specific information in your description of the causes.
7.5
Nguyễn Phương Anh

In our modernized world, it is unquestionable that the society has contaminated the environmental world. This essay
will be listing some of our negative influences on the environment and propose various solutions for individuals or
governments to imply.
Firstly, human's pollutions affected our environment through different methods. We worsen air quality, leading to
significant problems. By using fueled-engined vehicles, people will contribute to the amount of carbon dioxide
worldwide. For example, an average car can exhaust over 465g of CO2 per kilometer. Moreover, industrial discharge
is also a culprit to the world's pollution. This can cause breathing problems among humans and animals. Besides that,
air quality is an indispensable component in the residence's life.
So to solve this problem, individual and government action should be taken place. The most important is for the
government to reckon with the current situation. Then, they need to tackle the problem in many ways like limit the use
of cars and encourage to use of environmental-friendly materials. For individuals, they need to curb their household
waste. Also, people can rally friends and families to work in hand with them and the government. It is reported that if
everyone worldwide cycles to work or school every day, air pollution can be reduced by 60%.
Then, we should acknowledge our role in order to save the enviroment.
- Make sure that every sentence ends with a period.
- You need to develop your points more and provide more specific information, especially in the paragraph dealing
with the causes.
Lê Hoàng Thái hưng

Humans are responsible for a variety of environmental problems, but we can also take steps to reduce the damage
that we are causing to the planet. This essay will discuss various environmental problems and the measures that
governments and individuals can take to address these problems.
The first group of environmental problems correlates to visual and noise impingement. For example, the prevention
and control of litter seem to be primarily an issue of aesthetics; a littered environment seems unpleasant to most of us.
Other problems in this category include the protection and maintenance of natural areas and wildlife, issues of forestry
practice or mining procedures. Concern over the decay of urban areas, the proliferation of billboards, the deterioration
of buildings, and other aspects of the built environment would also be categorized here. The second group of
environmental problems relates to detrimental effects on physical health. Air pollution, water pollution, land pollution,
radiation hazards, collection of toxic substances in the food chain, and extremely high levels of noise fit into this
category. The last group of problems involves the consumption of nonrenewable resources. Examples of these
problems include excessive energy consumption; failure to recycle metal, paper, glass, or other products; inadequate
water or soil conservation; overpopulation; and inadequate mass transit.
While the damage that has already been done is quite discouraging and upsetting, it is possible to locate both
environmentally protective and destructive behaviors that relate to the problem. It is not an exaggeration to say that
virtually everything we do each day has some environmental impact which can be protective or destructive. Our
consumption of goods and resources would also soar. We could use this energy to increase food production, but we
might also see a rise in population and associated pollution. The governments might have a great deal more free time
as more and more energy-consuming automation occurred, but citizens might use this time in such a way that parks,
wilderness areas, and rural areas would be overrun with campers and tourists. Thus, from an ecological or systems
view, the interrelationships among events are such that a solution of one problem may create many others. One way
to ensure that the many dimensions of environmental problems which for instance, can be related to economy,
biology, society, psychology and politics, are recognized and considered is to approach these problems from a
transdisciplinary perspective. Environmentalists may have a good deal to say about environmentally relevant
behavior, but an understanding of the problem and of the steps needed to solve it often involves a good deal of
knowledge about other fields of study as well. It cannot be effective without the contribution and interaction of many
fields.
In conclusion, both national governments and individuals must play their part in looking after the environment.
- The writing is overly complicated and the essay contains a great deal of redundant information. This sounds like
creative writing, not academic writing
- You need to directly address the prompt and use specific language.
2.5
Trần Thanh Thảo

Water pollution and waste have always been a perennial problem for people both in megacities amd rural areas.
There are several causes to these issues, which would be discussed along with resolutions down below.
Mankind is often the cause for numerous types of pollution, including water. This is actively the result of industrial
waste and trash being directly disposed of into lakes or rivers, therefore contaminating clean, refreshing water
sources. A typical example for this is the To Lich river, which is so heavily contaminated to the point that the nearby
residents are filing complaints about the unbearable smell to governors, claiming that the unpleasant sent has been
interrupting with their daily activities. Moreover, the repulsive odor also derives from dead fish, innocent living
creatures that did not deserve to suffer and endure the destruction of humans to their natural habitats. This directly
suggest that people have been having serious misconceptions, following the dangerous notion that the worsening
environment can never be saved, meanwhile every little support matters.
In order to solve this problem, The government should enforce regulations, such as fines or penalties, towards
environmentally damaging criminals. They can also raise awareness through the media frequently so that citizens will
always be alerted and receive crucial messages. People have become immune to seem terrible photos, horrifying
death tools and statistics, so the government is held responsible for reminding residents of the risk of neglecting the
importance of water impurity. What can be referred from this is that the public must be informed repeatedly about the
current pollution crisis to make sure no one turns a blind eye or show complete disregard to this critical worldwide
problem.
All in all, everyone, including the citizens and the government, have to take part in protecting the earth‘s precious
natural resources because what seems to be nobody’s business is actually everybody’s business.
- In places, the language is far too extreme ("innocent living creatures that did not deserve to suffer and endure the
destruction") and informal.
- The writing could be more concise. The essay contains quite a bit of redundant information.
- In addition to water pollution, you should address other aspects of environmental damage.
65
Vũ Hà Linh
It is undeniable that the environment is being wrecked by human’s forces, therefore people are responsible for
diminishing these damages. This essay will discuss some environmental problems caused by humans before
providing several feasible solutions to the situation.
There are numerous ways in which humans are destroying the natural environment, but the two main threats are air
pollution and waste. First, the air quality is worsened at an alarming rate. The Greenhouse gases produced by
massive gas emissions released from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming, taking a
heavy toll on human life. In major cities, the atmosphere is also catastrophically compounded. In addition, great
quantities of waste are major contributors to environmental issues as human population increases, contaminating the
Earth and rivers. Individuals’ reckless actions render rivers and oceans poisonous places for marine animals to live in,
having a devastating effect on the ecosystem.
However, people can take steps to address the aforementioned issues. Governments should implement policies and
measures to set sustainable limits for the consumption of fossil fuels as well as allocating funding to green technology.
By this way, not only citizens will be inspired to reduce carbon footprint but firms may also be encouraged to invest in
renewable energy, therefore curbing the global warming threat. For their part, Individuals should be conscious of these
repercussions and partake in protecting the environment. To illustrate, people can use public transportation rather
than driving, refuse to receive disposable shopping bags in supermarkets and purchase products with less packaging.
Also, humans should reuse and recycle as much as possible to avoid dumping waste to the environment.
Indeed, air pollution and garbage are the primary determinants of environmental problems and the proposed
resolutions should be adopted to help protect the Earth.
87.5
Nguyễn Huyền Trang

Human is to blame for environmental damages. However ,at the same time, both the governments and individuals can
take steps to reduce the damage we have inflicted on the environment.
Polluting water and air are the two leading ways in which humans are damaging the environment. The direct cause for
water pollution is dumping. People are more likely to litter in a highly littered place or places without a trash can. It will
cause pollution in both groundwater and surface water. Other main ways to pollute water are discharging wastewater
into rivers or lake, excessive usage of herbicides and insecticides,oil spills,.. About air pollution, its primary cause is
fossil fuels, for example coal or oil. Coal gives more energy when burnt than woods, and oil is the second largest fuel
source in the world, thus it is used widely. Vehicles' exhaust fumes also contributes greatly to environment damages.
To address these problems, the authorities should make more effort to reduce the damage. They can apply stricter
laws cocerning companies' falsely disposal of wastewater or chemicals. Making people pay a fine when found littering
is also a good way to reduce waste. The governments should encourage people to use environmentally friendly
energy, such as solar energy or wind energy, instead of fossil fuels.
Each individual should also take responsibility for the impact they have made on the environment. People can stop
using private vehicles and switch to public ones, for example bus or train, or even bicycles, for it does not emit harmful
gas. Individuals should also Stop using plastic bag, reduce drinking in plastic bottles and cups,.. Individual can also
raise public awareness of the problem, join voluntary beach cleanups or just simply pick up trash in their neighborhood
and not litter.
In conclusion, the governments and individuals can take the solutions mentioned above to help reduce environmental
damage.
- You need to provide more specific information, especially in terms of explaining the consequences of
environmentally detrimental behaviors.
- Make sure to only use complete sentences and pay more attention to punctuation.
5.5
Hoàng Minh Phương

It is common knowledge that human’s actions are having a detrimental impact on nature. This essay will discuss some
of the ways in which humans are doing harm to the environment before outlining a number of solutions to the
problems.
There are numerous rationales for how humans are destroying the natural environment. First of all, the excessive use
of fuel-powered vehicles is to blame. These days, due to the rising prevalence of private transport, cars and
motorbikes which release toxic exhaust fumes are widely used. This induces serious degradation of air quality,thus
intensifying the problem of air pollution in towns and cities. Additionally, the large number of factories is also a major
contributor to environmental issues. When goods are being produced, factories are at the same time creating a huge
amount of waste, overloading landfills and contaminating water resources.
In order to address the above-mentioned problems,several solutions can be applied. First,public transportations
should be ameliorated. More convenient as well as better-furnished buses and trains would tempt people to lower their
reliance on private transport,thus decreasing the amount of exhaust fumes. Besides, the government should also take
actions to raise public awareness about environmental issues. By making people beware of possible negative
consequences, they would be nudged towards changing their habits and lifestyles for the better of the environment.
To conclude, the immoderate use of private transport as well as the superfluous number of factories are the primary
causes of environmental problems. Hence, proposed solutions should be considered to help tackle these issues.
- You are using several words incorrectly.
6.5
Phạm Minh Hà
As our modern society keeps changing at an unprecedented speed, pollution is causing worldwide concern. It is
undeniable that humankind is inflicting damages on the environment. This essay will elaborate on how humanity is
wreaking havoc to the natural surroundings as well as some plausible solutions to the issue.
To begin with, the excessive consumption of plastic is one major driving force behind environmental pollution. Plastic
is affordable to almost everyone, therefore, it is easily bought and easily discarded. However, instead of collecting
them in bins, people often litter them into the environment. Together with the fact that plastic is a substance that takes
a long time to decompose, such actions severely contaminates the environment, rendering the habitat unliveable.
Another harm humans do to the environment is deforestation. Trees are cut down to satisfy the demand for raw
materials such as wood, oil and so on. In other cases, forests are stripped to make way for agriculture since farming
land is insufficient while need for food is always rising as population grows.
In order to tackle plastic overuse, it is advisable that governments raise taxes on this commodity. Such measures will
inhibit factories from mass producing it and make the people to be economical and recycle due to rising costs.
Regarding the problem of deforestation, the officials should limit the amount that is allowed to be exploited from
woodland. This way, the plantation is preserved while there is still a sustainable material supply for manufacturing. On
the individuals’ part, they are recommended to use less products from trees, for instance paper or oil. Should
consumption fall, so will production. Hence, less area is deforested.
All being discussed, the ecosystem is suffering by virtue of uncontrolled plastic usage and forest stripping. The
proposed courses of action ought to be taken to mitigate the devastation done to the environment.
- You could develop your arguments more. Specifically, you should provide more specific information about the
consequnces of deforestation and consider solutions that would introduce positive alternatives (e.g., the development
of more eco-friendly materials) in addition to restrictions.
6.5
Nguyễn Đình Quang

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The rising prevalence of single-use plastics comes with a myriad of environmental problems, and one of the most

Đoàn Minh Quang

- You’re overusing the semicolon.

- The sentences tend to be far too long and wordy.

- You are using a number of incorrect/misplaced modifiers ("adversely escalated ").

Vũ Nguyễn Minh Tùng

- You are overusing the verb "to be"

- Avoid using the passive voice.

Nguyễn Ngọc Trâm

- Avoid using "will" when describing common facts or potential consequences.

- The essay is too short

- Where is the conclusion?

Chu Bảo Khánh

Đinh Lâm Nhi

- The "solutions" you propose are far too simplistic.

- Avoid using the passive voice.

- You are using several words incorrectly.

- A few of your points are unclear and vague.

Trần Đặng Minh Châu

- You are using a number of words incorrectly.

Khuất Bảo Ngọc

- The writing lacks coherence and is quite wordy.

- You need to develop your arguments more.

- You are using a number of words incorrectly.

- There are various grammar issues.

- Pay more attention to punctuation (there is no space in front of a comma/period).

- Avoid using the 1st person voice.

Đinh Mmạnh Đức

- You should come up with additional points (reasons/solutions).

Lưu Thảo Anh

- You need to provide clear explanation for your claims.

- You also need to use more effective transitions.

Đỗ Minh Đan Anh

- Avoid using the 1st person plural.

Khổng Minh Thư

- Avoid using the passive voice.

- The writing is wordy.

Hoàng Nguyễn Nhật Minh

Phạm Khánh Linh

Bùi Hoàng Bảo Thư

- The language could be more precise. Keep up the good work!

Nguyễn Phương Thảo

Nguyễn Bùi Vi Thảo

- You are overusing the verb "to be"

- The writing could be more concise.

Nguyễn Mai Chi

- The writing is also quite wordy.

Hoàng Ngọc Thảo Anh

- There are several issues with word order.

Bùi Thanh Hằng

- You should use more effective transitions.

Nguyễn Khánh Linh

- The writing is far too informal.

- Avoid using the 1st person plural.

Nguyễn Diệu Hương

- There are a few sentence structure issues.

Nguyễn Hồng Nhung

- There are quite a few basic spelling mistakes.

- You need to use more effective transitions.

Vương Anh Minh

- Avoid using the 1st person plural.

- The writing could be simplified in places.

Trần Như Gia Huy