SINGLES

TO FIGHT OR FLIGHT – WHICH ONE?

MAY 16, 2014 MISSY LEAVE A COMMENT

“I share a three bedroom apartment with two of my friends. Two of them are born-again
Christians (as they told me). Since we have different work schedule, we don’t go to church
together. We get along just fine when it comes to keeping our apartment clean and everything
but when it comes to sexuality; their sexually compromised lifestyle bothers me a lot. One of
them is now dating a woman who is married. The other one is dating different girls and always
ends up being physical with them. After that he damps them to come home and laugh about it. I
don’t know what I need to do. Do I need to move out of that apartment or confront them?”

My Dear Brother, I thank you very much for caring for your brothers in Christ. I believe that is
how it should be if we are truly in Christ Jesus.

But from the few lines you wrote me, I don’t know if you and your roommates are usually
talking about intimate stuff like sexuality, like “man to man” kind of talk. Do you guys get
together to talk about life, God, the Word of God, sexual purity and along that same line?

If that is not the case, going around and picking the wrongs of your brothers and telling them to
clean up their mess can make you a legalistic.
First develop that close relationship with them. Love them first as a human being.

Ask yourself, why you want them to be clean from sin. Is it because you care about a Christian
religion or do you care for them? Do you care because you know for sure that they are going to
take theirs and others’ life to fire and you feel very sad for them and you want to save them? Ask
your motive.

You yourself first be the man of God and separate yourself from their sinful lifestyles. If they
come and joke about how they damp a woman, you simply get up and leave the room. Believe
me in this, they won’t ask you why you left. If they do, with love, respect and fear in your heart
say to them something like, “I get hurt whenever you guys talk about woman like that. I feel like
you are talking about my mom and/or my sister.”

Find every opportunity to serve them. Clean their bedrooms and surprise them. They may laugh
at you or try to take advantage of you (which it may feel like for a short period of time) but
remember, God is at “back-ground” of all these. You are not trying to win their “likes” but their
souls. So, God is in it! And you will definitely win their souls if you fix your eyes on Jesus.

Share with them the Word of God; but not like, “Okay guys, sit down and let me teach you about
the Word of God”. No, not like that but make it like one of your casual conversations, like, “I
was about to get involved in a serious car accident today and I remember the Word of God that
says if God doesn’t watch over a city, the watchers watch in vain. I’m a good driver but I guess I
realize that I can’t save myself.” (This is an example; don’t make up stories; just tell them the
truth about your day and “inject” the truth of God in it and move on).

Remember it is not your responsibility to touch their souls and spirits. It is God’s. God does the
changing as you do the living.

Be consistent with your action. If you guys happen to have off days at the same day, pray about
it ahead of time and invite them for a cup of coffee or something and bring up intimate topics
which only men talk about. Don’t say, “Samson sinned against God and God killed him”. That is
just a turn off.

Tell them your struggle; not deep so that you won’t scare them away. Rather, talk about how
challenging it is for you to stay single for a long time and make sure you stay on “the driver seat”
so that they won’t take the topic somewhere else.
Then at the end of your time, say, let’s pray. Don’t try to be a “pastor” but a close friend and
close friend doesn’t make his friends feel uncomfortable. When they say “go ahead and pray”,
don’t pray like, “You adulteress devil, come out of them” or something like that. Oh, no, brother,
pray something like:
“Thank you LORD for blessing me with these brothers of mine. Thank you for bringing them
into my life. Thank you for letting our path cross. Please Father bless them in everything they
need.” (Well, you and I know what your friends need to be blessed with in this life.)

Then after you develop trust, strategize to move to the next deep level, which is to influence their
decision. Once you win their mind, aim for their soul. Once you win their trust, aim to influence
and win their decision.

You see, when you get to this point, you will notice that you do not only care about their sin but
you care about their general well-being as if they were your kids. You start to love them and
your eyes won’t be dry when you pray for their safety. When you bring them to the LORD in
prayer, you hold on to the garment of your God and never want to let it go until He turns His face
towards them.

Here the issue stops becoming a legal or religious issue and starts to become a “love” issue.
Now, you want them to have the best in life because you love them.

That is the heart of Christ, My Dear. Don’t go around and try to fix the people of God who are in
sin. It doesn’t work that way. Be Christ for them. Once you love them, you will understand their
struggles. You will have a compassionate heart for them. Then it will be easy for you to say to
them “Brothers, forsake your sinful lifestyle” and it will be easy for them to say, “Brother, what
do you want us to do?”

Until you build that love “Christ-like channel”, keep your peace to yourself.

Move out of that apartment if they start throwing party on your “head”, if you know what I
mean. If they start bringing half naked women to your apartment, it is not safe for you to be there
because you will be tempted to have one of those girls as well. So, “RUNNING AWAY” will be
the only best strategy you have in that situation. Otherwise, stay there Beloved and be used by
God, for Him to reach to them.