How to make

your own Cards

Against Humanity
1. Download this PDF and take it to your local
print shop.

2. Have the shop print out the game on heavy

white cardstock (usually 80-pound or
higher). Although the cards are black and
white, you’ll get a nicer result if you can
convince them to use a color printer.

3. For added fanciness, you can print black

on the back of the question cards to make
them easier to tell apart.

4. Cut the cards to size using a large paper

cutter. The more precise you are, the easier
they’ll be to handle later.

5. When you’re done, we recommend

purchasing a clear model 102C AMAC box
(there’s a great one for sale at the Container
Store) for storing your cards.
 Silence. The illusion of Many bats. Famine.

Cards Against Humanity Rules choice in

a late-stage
capitalist society.

Basic Rules House Rules (cont.)

To start the game, each player draws ten white cards.
The player who most recently pooped begins as the Card Czar
and draws a black card. If Hugh Jackman is playing, he goes first,
regardless of how recently he pooped.
The Card Czar reads the question or fill-in-the-blank phrase on the
black card out loud. Everyone else answers the question or fills in
the blank by passing one white card, face down, to the Card Czar.
The Card Czar then shuffles all the answers and reads each card
combination out loud to the group. The Card Czar should re-read
the black card before presenting each answer. Finally, the Card
Czar picks the funniest play, and whoever submitted it gets
one point.
After the round, a new player becomes the Card Czar and everyone
draws back up to ten white cards.
Some black cards say “PICK 2” on the bottom. To answer these,
each player plays two white cards in combination. IMPORTANT:
Arrange them in the order that the Card Czar should read them—
play the first card face down, and then play the second card face
down on top of it.
Gambling
If you have more than one white card that you think could win a
round, you can bet one of your points to play an extra white card.
If you win, you keep the point. If you lose, whoever wins gets the
point you wagered.
House Rules
Wheaton’s Law: Each round, the Card Czar draws two black
cards, chooses the one they’d prefer to play, and puts the other at Flesh-eating Flying sex snakes. Not giving a Magnets.
the bottom of the black card pile.
bacteria. shit about the
Rebooting the Universe: At any time, players may trade in a point
to return as many white cards as they’d like to the deck and draw Third World.
back to ten.
Packing Heat: For Pick 2s, all players draw an extra card before
playing the hand to open up more options.
Meritocracy: Instead of passing clockwise, the role of Card Czar
passes to the winner of the previous round.
Smooth Operator: If a player slips a card from their hand into
conversation without anyone noticing, they may trade it for one
point. If the player is called out, they lose a point. If this rule is
confusing, you’re taking this game too seriously.
Shapeshifters. Seeing what A crucifixion. Jennifer
Tie Breaker: If the Card Czar can’t decide between two white
happens when Lawrence.
cards, they may declare a Tie Breaker. In the event of a Tie Breaker, you lock people
the more conventionally attractive player wins.
Chubby Bunny: Players crumple up their winning cards and keep
in a room with
them in their mouths as points. hungry seagulls.
Freaky Friday: Players play Cards Against Humanity while wearing
their mothers’ underpants.
Hard Mode: Play Cards Against Humanity while raising four kids,
dealing with chronic back pain, and waiting tables at Chili’s. Bonus!
For an added challenge, try being gay or black.
72 virgins. A live studio A time travel Authentic
Russian Roulette: The Card Czar takes out a revolver. They place
one bullet at random in the cylinder, spin it, and close it. They then audience. paradox. Mexican cuisine.
hold the gun to their head and pull the trigger. If the Card Czar
survives, they defiantly place the gun in the center of the table
and eye the other players, challenging them to pick up the gun “if
they’re man enough.” The Card Czar wins a point.
Hail to the Chief: A player may earn a point at any time by
announcing candidacy for and successfully being elected President
of the United States of America.

Cards Against Humanity is meant to be remixed. Here are some of Race to the Moon: All players begin masturbating immediately.
our favorite ways to pimp out the rules: Then what happens?

Rando Cardrissian: Every round, pick one random white card from
the pile and place it into play. This card belongs to an imaginary
player named Rando Cardrissian, and if he wins the game, all
players go home in a state of everlasting shame.
Happy Ending: When you’re ready to end the game, play the
“Make a haiku” black card. This is the official ceremonial ending of
a good game of Cards Against Humanity. Note: Haikus don’t need
to follow the 5-7-5 form. They just have to be read dramatically.
Never Have I Ever: At any time, players may discard cards that
they don’t understand, but they must confess their ignorance to the
group and suffer the resulting humiliation.
Smoke Opium and Play Cards Against Humanity: Great idea! Doing crimes. Synergistic Crippling debt. Daddy issues.
Wait for Godot: At the start of the game, instead of drawing a
hand, players stare at the pile of white cards. After an indeterminate
management
amount of time, players move their gaze to the pile of black cards. solutions.
The game doesn’t begin. How can it begin? It has already ended.
In the gloom, players shift their cloudy gaze from pile to pile. Is it
a trick of the light, or do the black cards and white cards seem to
converge in an indistinguishable grayness? Mote by mote, dust
settles on the cards. Nobody accumulates points. Nobody wins.
Don’t play Cards Against Humanity: Walk to a park. Call your
mother. Live a little.
Used panties. A fart so powerful Former President Full frontal nudity. Soft, kissy BATMAN! Agriculture. Barely making
that it wakes the George W. Bush. missionary sex. $25,000 a year.
giants from their
thousand-year
slumber.

Covering myself Laying an egg. Getting naked Pretending Natural selection. Coat hanger Sex with My abusive
with Parmesan and watching to care. abortions. Patrick Stewart. boyfriend who
cheese and chili Nickelodeon. really isn’t so bad
flakes because once you get to
I am pizza. know him.

Having big Seeing Grandma Boogers. The inevitable Prescription Swooping. Mansplaining. A homoerotic
dreams but no naked. heat death of pain killers. volleyball
realistic way to the universe. montage.
achieve them.

The miracle The Rapture. Whipping it out. White privilege. Alexandria Putting things Fragile All-you-can-eat
of childbirth. Ocasio-Cortez. where they go. masculinity. shrimp for $8.99.

Emerging from The Hamburglar. AXE Body Spray. The Blood An old guy who’s Kanye West. Hot cheese. Raptor attacks.
the sea and of Christ. almost dead.
rampaging
through Tokyo.
Seven dead Smegma. Alcoholism. A middle-aged The past. My genitals. An endless stream Science.
and three in man on roller of diarrhea.
critical condition. skates.

Looking in the Bingeing and An oversized Self-loathing. Not reciprocating Flightless birds. A good sniff. 50,000 volts
mirror, applying purging. lollipop. oral sex. straight to
lipstick, and the nipples.
whispering “tonight,
you will have sex
with Tom Cruise.”

Sitting on my face Half-assed The Holy Bible. German A balanced Dead birds The arrival of Permanent
and telling me foreplay. dungeon porn. breakfast. everywhere. the pizza. Orgasm-Face
I’m garbage. Disorder.

Being on fire. Teenage Gandhi. Your weird The cool, Chemical Oprah. Wondering if it’s
pregnancy. brother. refreshing taste weapons. possible to get
of Pepsi.® some of that
salsa to go.

A Fleshlight.® A pyramid of An erection that A three-way Bananas. Passive Hillary Clinton’s Switching
severed heads. lasts longer than with my wife and aggressive emails. to Geico.®
four hours. Shaquille O’Neal. Post-it notes.
Peeing a little bit. Wet dreams. The Jews. My cheating Poverty. Kamikaze pilots. Committing The homosexual
son-of-a-bitch suicide. agenda.
husband.

Powerful thighs. These hoes. The only gay Having sex for A Mexican. A falcon with a Wizard music. The Kool-Aid Man.
person in a the first time. cap on its head.
hundred miles.

Donald J. Trump. Kissing grandma Sexual tension. An AR-15 Juuling. Free samples. Hurting those Doing the
on the forehead assault rifle. closest to me. right thing.
and turning off
her life support.

My good bra. Punching a Fancy Feast.® Being rich. The Three-Fifths Lactation. World peace. Shutting up
congressman Compromise. so I can watch
in the face. the game.

Sweet, sweet Republicans. Sniffing and A much younger Eating a hard RoboCop. One titty Justin Bieber.
vengeance. kissing my feet. woman. boiled egg out hanging out.
of my husband’s
asshole.
Oompa-Loompas. Inappropriate Puberty. Ghosts. Expecting a burp Adderall.® The Red Hot Sideboob.
yodeling. and vomiting on Chili Peppers.
the floor.

50 mg of Zoloft Fucking my sister. Braiding three Vigorous An octopus giving My neck, J.D. Power and Mouth herpes.
daily. penises into jazz hands. seven handjobs my back, his associates.
a Twizzler. and smoking my pussy,
a cigarette. and my crack.

Getting fingered. My Uber driver, GoGurt.® Police brutality. Sperm whales. Women of color. Men discussing Incest.
Pavel. their feelings in
an emotionally
healthy way.

Filling my Preteens. My fat daughter. Rap music. Pac-Man Casually Running out of God.
briefcase with uncontrollably suggesting a semen.
business stuff. guzzling cum. threesome.

Fading away into Darth Vader. A sad handjob. Exactly what The wonders of Sexual peeing. Emotions. Licking things to
nothingness. you’d expect. the Orient. claim them as
your own.
Jobs. The placenta. Spontaneous The Bachelorette A tiny horse. William Shatner. Selling crack An M. Night
human season finale. to children. Shyamalan
combustion. plot twist.

Throwing grapes Establishing Finger painting. Old-people smell. Brown people. Mutually assured Pedophiles. Yeast.
at a man until he dominance. destruction.
loses touch with
reality.

Getting crushed My inner demons. A Super Soaker™ Aaron Burr. How bad my Rectangles. Catapults. Poor people.
by a vending full of cat pee. daughter fucked
machine. up her dance
recital.

Cuddling. However much Battlefield Spaghetti? Only dating The Hustle. The Force. How amazing
weed $20 can buy. amputations. Again? Asian women. it is to be on
mushrooms.

Ronald Reagan. A disappointing Nachos for Becoming a Judging Kourtney, Kim, Getting married, Some god damn
birthday party. the table. blueberry. everyone. Khloe, Kendall, having a few kids, peace and quiet.
and Kylie. buying some stuff,
retiring to Florida,
and dying.
AIDS. Pictures of boobs. Strong female Some foundation, Getting Pixelated A lifetime Going an entire
characters. mascara, and cummed on. bukkake. of sadness. day without
a touch of blush. masturbating.

Hospice care. Getting really high. The opiod Penis envy. Dick pics. Racism. Menstrual rage. Sunshine and
epidemic. rainbows.

Gay conversion Ruth Bader German The KKK. Radical Islamic Huge biceps. My little boner. Dry heaving.
therapy. Ginsburg brutally Chancellor terrorism.
gaveling your Angela Merkel.
penis.

A pangender Meth. Serfdom. Holding down a A gossamer Executing The rhythms Breaking out into
octopus who child and farting stream of jizz that a hostage of Africa. song and dance.
roams the all over him. catches the light every hour.
cosmos in as it arcs through
search of love. the morning air.

A Bop It.™ A whole thing Still being Solving problems Leprosy. Gloryholes. Nipple blades. The heart
of butter. a virgin. with violence. of a child.
Puppies! Fellowship in Little boy penises. Waking up The Pope. White people. Tentacle porn. My bright pink
Christ. half-naked fuckhole.
in a Denny’s
parking lot.

An older woman Getting drugs off Daniel Radcliffe’s Active listening. How far I can get Having anuses The penny whistle Seppuku.
who knows her the street and delicious asshole. my own penis for eyes. solo from “My
way around into my body. up my butt. Heart Will Go On.”
the penis.

Ethnic cleansing. Itchy pussy. Blowing my A fuck-ton of Danny DeVito. The magic of Throwing a virgin Dwayne
boyfriend so almonds. live theatre. into a volcano. “The Rock”
hard he shits. Johnson.

A salad for men Waiting till Unfathomable Shiny objects. Accepting the NBA superstar Listening to her Therapy.
that’s made marriage. stupidity. way things are. LeBron James. problems without
of metal. trying to solve
them.

The Devil himself. Autocannibalism. Erectile My collection Being fat and Pooping back and Tearing that More elephant
dysfunction. of Japanese stupid. forth. Forever. ass up like cock than I
sex toys. wrapping paper bargained for.
on Christmas
morning.
A salty surprise. The South. The violation of Tap dancing A bowl of Fiery poops. Saying Inserting a Mason
our most basic like there’s no mayonnaise and “I love you.” jar into my anus.
human rights. tomorrow. human teeth.

Consensual sex. Telling a shitty A good, Seeing my The true meaning Some of the best Owning and Estrogen.
story that goes strong gorilla. father cry. of Christmas. rappers in operating a
nowhere. the game. Chili’s franchise.

Necrophilia. Being a woman. Getting into a Bill Nye the Girls. The Russians. A bleached Fucking the
pretty bad Science Guy. asshole. weatherman on
car accident. live television.

Black people. The Boy Scouts Lunchables.™ Bitches. PTSD. Dark and Smallpox Masturbating.
of America. mysterious forces blankets.
beyond our
control.

Some punk kid Heartwarming Spirit Airlines. Bubble butt Hobos. Queefing. The guys from Cardi B.
who stole my orphans. bottom boys. Queer Eye.
turkey sandwich.
Viagra.® Soup that is Muhammad Explaining how Doin’ it in My ex-wife. Teaching a robot Touching a pug
too hot. (Peace Be vaginas work. the butt. to love. right on his penis.
Upon Him).

Academy Drinking alone. Dick fingers. Multiple stab A windmill full Count Chocula. Vladimir Putin. The Patriarchy.
Award winner wounds. of corpses.
Meryl Streep.

Poopy diapers. Child abuse. Anal beads. Slaughtering The glass ceiling. Vomiting seafood The American Not wearing
innocent civilians. and bleeding Dream. pants.
anally.

Pulling out. Being able to talk Horse meat. A really cool hat. My balls on Pooping in Dead babies. Foreskin.
to elephants. your face. a laptop and
closing it.

Stalin. A stray pube. Worshipping Completely A saxophone solo. Italians. A fetus. Firing a rifle into
that pussy. unwarranted the air while
confidence. balls deep in a
squealing hog.
Mike Pence. 10,000 Syrian Forced My relationship Nicolas Cage. Child beauty Explosions. Not vaccinating
refugees. sterilization. status. pageants. my children
because I
am stupid.

An unwanted Diversity. A white Bees? Lena Dunham. Huffing spray A man on the Repression.
pregnancy. ethnostate. paint. brink of orgasm.

Harry Potter Giving birth to Three dicks at Nazis. Invading Poland. My vagina. Assless chaps. Murder.
erotica. the Antichrist. the same time.

8 oz. of sweet What that Dead parents. Object Giving 110%. Her Majesty, The Trail of Tears. Memes.
Mexican black-tar mouth do. permanence. Queen Elizabeth II.
heroin.

Opposable Racially-biased The Great Chainsaws Sex with animals. Being Goblins. Hope.
thumbs. SAT questions. Depression. for hands. marginalized.
Liberals. A micropenis. My soul. A ball of earwax, Illegal Elderly The female Heteronormativity.
semen, and immigrants. Japanese men. orgasm.
toenail clippings.

A horde Hot people. Seething with An Oedipus Crumbs all over Arnold The wifi Spectacular abs.
of Vikings. quiet resentment. complex. the god damn Schwarzenegger. password.
carpet.

Geese. Extremely tight Fox News. A little boy who A bird that shits A mopey zoo lion. A bag of Poor life choices.
pants. won’t shut the human turds. magic beans.
fuck up about
dinosaurs.

Making a pouty Vehicular Women’s Some guy. My sex life. Auschwitz. A snapping turtle All the dudes
face. manslaughter. suffrage. biting the tip of I’ve fucked.
your penis.

Judge Judy. African children. This month’s Barack Obama. The clitoris. The Big Bang. Land mines. The entire Mormon
mass shooting. Tabernacle Choir.
A micropig Penis breath. Jerking off into a Man meat. Farting and Being a dick One trillion Drowning the kids
wearing a tiny pool of children’s walking away. to children. dollars. in the bathtub.
raincoat and tears.
booties.

Me time. The Underground Poorly-timed A sea of troubles. Dying. Drinking out of The gays. The screams...
Railroad. Holocaust jokes. the toilet and the terrible
eating garbage. screams.

Lumberjack Morgan Women in yogurt Natural male Men. The bombing of Fake tits. The Amish.
fantasies. Freeman’s voice. commercials. enhancement. Nagasaki.

Being a My black ass. Genuine human Announcing that David Bowie My ugly face and A bitch slap. A brain tumor.
motherfucking connection. I am about to cum. flying in on a tiger bad personality.
sorcerer. made of lightning.

Balls. Grandma. Friction. Chunks of Fear itself. Jews, gypsies, The milkman. Cards Against
dead hitchhiker. and homosexuals. Humanity.
Hey Reddit! I’m Introducing What is Batman’s TSA guidelines When Pharaoh Just once, I’d Daddy, why is When I was
__________________. X-treme Baseball! guilty pleasure. now prohibit remained unmoved, like to hear you mommy crying? tripping on acid,
Ask me anything. It’s like baseball, __________________ Moses called say “Thanks, __________________
but with __________! on airplanes. down a Plague of Mom. Thanks for turned into
__________________. _________________.” _________________.

Next from That’s right, I killed I’m sorry, And the Academy 50% of all My fellow This season at Instead of coal,
J.K. Rowling: _________________. Professor, but I Award for marriages end in Americans: Before Steppenwolf, Santa now gives
Harry Potter and How, you ask? couldn’t complete __________________ __________________. this decade is Samuel Beckett’s the bad children
the Chamber of _________________. my homework goes to __________. out, we will have classic existential __________________.
__________________. because of __________________ play: Waiting for
__________. on the moon! __________________.

Dude, do not go How did I lose It’s a pity that kids Step 1: __________. Life for American What’s Teach For Mabe she’s What is
in that bathroom. my virginity? these days are all Step 2: __________. Indians was forever America using born with it. George W. Bush
There’s __________ getting involved Step 3: Profit. changed when to inspire inner Maybe it’s thinking about
in there. with _____________. the White Man city students to __________________. right now?
introduced them to succeed?
__________________.

_________________. Kids, I don’t need For my next trick, I While the United White people like __________________ Why do I hurt A romantic,
Betcha can’t have drugs to get will pull __________ States raced the Soviet __________________. is a slippery slope all over? candlelit dinner
Union to the moon, the
just one! high. I’m high on out of ___________. that leads to would be
Mexican government
__________. funneled millions of _________________. incomplete without
pesos into research on __________________.
_____________________.

In the Disney What’s my I’m going on ________ + ________ Just saw this Fun tip! When your The class field trip What’s a girl’s
Channel Original secret power? a cleanse this = ________________. upsetting video! man asks you to go was completely best friend?
Movie, Hannah week. Nothing Please retweet!! down on him, try ruined by
Montana struggles but kale juice and #stop_____________ surprising him with __________________.
with _____________ __________________. __________________
for the first time. instead.
Dear Abby, In M. Night When I am What are my I’m no doctor What’s there a After four platinum What will always
I’m having Shyamalan’s new President, parents hiding but I’m pretty ton of in heaven? albums and three get you laid?
movie, Bruce Willis Grammys, it’s time to
some trouble with I will create the from me? sure what you’re
discovers that get back to my roots,
__________________ __________had really Department of suffering from is to what inspired me
and would like been _______________ __________________. called “__________.” to make music in the
your advice. all along. first place: __________.

What never fails to IF you like Make a haiku. What made my first They said we were Lifetime® presents __________________: Why can’t I sleep
liven up the party? __________________, kiss so awkward? crazy. They said “_________________: kid-tested, at night?
YOU MIGHT BE we couldn’t put the Story of mother-approved.
A REDNECK. __________________ _________________.”
inside of _________.
They were wrong.

Hey guys, I got 99 problems __________________. Bravo’s new reality What’s that smell? After eight years in This is the way the Coming
welcome to Chili’s! but _______________ It’s a trap! show features the White House, world ends This is to Broadway
Would you like ain’t one. eight washed-up how is Obama the way the world this season,
to start the night celebrities living finally letting ends Not with __________________:
off right with with _____________. loose? a bang but with The Musical.
_________________? __________________.

What would __________________. I never truly During sex, I like Here is the church But before I kill A recent laboratory Introducing
grandma find That was so metal. understood to think about Here is the steeple you, Mr. Bond, study shows that the amazing
undergraduates have
disturbing, yet __________________ __________________. Open the doors I must show you superhero/sidekick
50% less sex after
oddly charming? until I encountered And there is __________________. being exposed to duo! It’s __________
_________________. __________________. ___________________. and _____________!

What ended my What’s that sound? Uh, hey guys, Why am I sticky? Next on ESPN2: When I am a Military historians War!
last relationship? I know this was my The World Series of billionaire, I shall remember Alexander What is it good for?
the Great for his
idea, but I’m having __________________. erect a 50-foot
brilliant use of
serious doubts statue to ____________________
about ____________. commemorate against the Persians.
__________________.
Terms of Use

Thanks for downloading this all over your computer.

Cards Against Humanity is free to use under the Creative Commons

BY-NC-SA 2.0 License. You can read more about the license at
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/.

These are the terms of the copyright:

Attribution: If you distribute our game, give us credit for the content.

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the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 License.

You must also comply with the Laws of Man and Nature. Don’t use
any form of this game for nefarious purposes like libel, slander, diarrhea,
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trouble for it, Cards Against Humanity is free of all liability.