BookofMarriage 10122484

A N EW I NT ER P RE T A T I O N B Y T W E N T Y -FO U R
L E A DER S O F C O N T E M P O R A R Y T H O U G H T
A RRA N G E D A N D E D I T E D B Y
C O U NT H E R M A NN K EY S ER L IN G
N EW YO R K
HAR CO U RT ,
B RA C E
”
E
s CO M PANY
O
C P YRIG H T , 1 926 , B Y
O
HARC U RT , B RAC E C OM P A NY,
P R IN T E D I N T H E (D S . A
O U IN' N Q B O DEN C O MP A NY.

R A HWA Y . N. J
I n t r o d u c ti o n
my invitation to contribute to Th e B ook of M ar

T
0
r i ag e Bernard S haw replied : N 0 man dare write

,
“
the truth about marriage while his W ife lives Unless .

,
that i s he hates her like S trindberg and I don t I shall

, , ,
’
.
read the volume with intere st knowing that it will con ,

”
sist chiefly o f evasions but I will not contribute to it
,
.
This is one o f S haw s famous b outad es No one h as

’
.
written more openly on marriage and yet with out caus ,
ing o fience, than he H owever, I gladly make use of the

.
Irish sage s witty sally as preface to this book, because in

’
a humorous form it cautions simultaneously against tw o

very serious dangers when treating of marriage problems :
the danger o f cowardly concealment and the danger o f
indiscretion I n fact , n o on e can h ope to assist in dealing
.
with this most intimate o f all questions whose fearless

n ess does n ot empower him to speak o f all W ithout caus
ing inj ury, and whose very nobility of character would

make it quite impossible to divulge private matters so ,
that an unprej udiced person could never even think o f

interpreting his statements as disclosures The first and .
last aim o f T k e B ook of M arr iage is t o k elp G onse .
quently courage and p urity are the twin sources o f its

1n sp 1r atl on .
T h e B o okf M ar r iage means to help all wh o are about

o
to enter on marriage ; all w h o are personally distressed

by this problem ; all wh o have impartially realized W hat
a terribly serious crisis marriage is passing through today ,
and that the entire ameliorative future o f humanity de

i ii
1 2 9 03 8
iv I N T RODU C TI O N
pends on a favourable settlement For there can be no
.
doubt o f this : since no problem without exception con

, ,
cerns everybody more closel y than thi s relationsh ip ,
which from its very origin determines the bodily an d

spiritual Character o f every human being and which due , ,
to the constancy and intimacy o f its influence continues ,
to ass ist in determining the character o f each partner the ,
ruin of marriage signifies general ruin whereas improve ,
ment and perfection in it denotes general progress The .
appeal of Tk e B ook of M arr iage is thus literally to each

, ,
and all .
But h ow can a book o f pure cognition assist in solving

the highly practical problem o f marriage ? The reader
will find nothing that resembles a sermon nothing ,
didactic in the customary sense of the term 5 nothing in ,
a word savouring of an attempt to influence another s

,
’
will O nly that form o f assistance can p ossibly help the

.
individual which refrains from giving him direct aid and

does not deprive him o f responsibility but teaches him to
,
find his way by himself independently o f others This

,
.
can be accomplished in the following manner : R ealized

truths evolve creative powers in the individual who is
really willing to let himself be transformed by their i nfl u
ence The most wonderful thing in psychic life is that
.
idea s clearly comprehended succeed in the long run by

, ,
means o f subconscious processes in creating actual realities

,
which correspond to them Thus pure cognition is the

.
o n e thing essential wherever defectiveness due to mi s
comprehension is found to exist in the field of realities .
A nd this is so in the case o f marriage The primary cause

.
O f its present critical condition is the mi sconception o f its
meaning It is because hardly any on e knows what mar

.
r iage signifie s that almo st every o n e woos the wrong per
son that hardly on e in a thousand knows how to lead a

,
I N T RODU C TI O N
proper married life Consequently the reali zation o f true
.
significance wi ll lead in the case of marriage if anywhere , ,
to a radical cure In order that realization should alter

.
facts only two conditions are indispensa ble : first that the
, ,
knowledge in question should be properly formulated ,
and secondl y, accepted in such a manner as to prove efli

caci ous.
The first condition depends on the precision o f the

“ ”
form ul as adopted the evidence conveyed by the style
, ,
the strictly logical concatenation and the psychologica l ,
treatment In the case of a book this e ff ect depends on

.
,
the author s art I n the present case the collaborators are

’
.
twenty-four in number But they collaborate in exactly

.
the same sense as do the di ff erent players o f a well

trained orchestra or , more accurately as the various tones
, ,
o f a single harmony T h e B ook of M ar r iage is an organic

.
whole The first part deals with the general outlines o f

.
the problem The di ff erent sections o f the ensuing parts

.
bring into clear relief its particular aspects A s these .
aspects are limited in number and since they can appear in,
only one way when adequate reasoning and Clear visual

iz ati on are brought to bear on them , it is precisely the
diversity of auth orship which insures the required unity
o f meaning For the treatment o f each particular aspect
.
o f the problem was entrusted strictly to the individual
wh o, by reason o f his or her special aptitude was pre ,
eminently capable of apprehending and expressing it If .
the book had been written by a single author however ,
paradoxical this may seem , it could never have attained

the same degree of unity ; f or n o individual is equally
well endowed in all respects I did n ot give definite .
instructions to any of the collaborators All I did was to .
formulate clearly the requisite questions and arguments

and to seek the persons best suited to deal with them ade
vi I N T R ODU C TI O N
quately Having found them I had n o reason to worry
.
,
about possible contradictions 5 f or it was out of the ques

tion that the various authors should fail to complement
each other like the tones o f a harmony N aturally they .
think di fl erently on di fl er ent questions and these diver ,
g en c i es occasionally amount to contradictions But when .
taken thus in concert contradi ctions act contrapuntally

,
.
The Buddhist P aul Dahlke , for example writes as an ,
opponent of marriage The e ff ect of his treatise within

.
,
the symphonic whole is such that the meaning of ,
a sceticism its j ustifiable range and the limits o f its useful

,
nes s becomes clearly evident

,
.
T h e B ook of M ar r i age thus states the problem in the

full completeness o f all its essential a spects It treats .
s olely o f marriage ignoring the other p ossible relations

,
between the sexes The starting-point is marriage not

.
,
l ove propagation , national welfare morals or any similar

, , ,
s ubj ect E ach question with its answer is worked out with
.
th e utmost preci sion clearness and pregnancy

, ,
.
S O much then for the logical aspect o f the book B ut .
in order to produce a creative e ff ect it was necessary to

present questions and answers in such sequence as would
suit the psychological requirements o f interest attention , ,
and other conditions of understanding Thus again Th e .
B o ok of M ar r i age appears as a living entity as it discloses ,
its full meaning only when read in this order The .
same rules that apply to the movements o f a symphony

obtain for the compo sition o f this book It was con .
c eiv ed and arranged throughout from the standpoint o f a
pre-existing unity ; it does not contain a single item that

was not premeditated from the point o f view o f the
whole A nd si nce it answers all fundamental questions
.
relating to matrimony i t a lso c ontains th e k ey to th e s olu

,
ti on o f ev er y in di vi dual pr ob l em ar i sing i n mar r i ed life .

I N T RO DU C TI O N vii
We have thus reverted to the original intention of the

book, which is to help and are at the same time con
,
fronted with the question o f the possibility o f rendering

practical assistance I said that cognitive realization can
.
alter actual conditions provided the insight obtained be

,
formulated and accepted in such a manner as to in sure

its practical efli cacy The reader will not be long in find
.
ing out that the first of these requirements is fulfilled .
He will, apart from the precision of the formulation and

the evidence o f the method o f presentation as well as ,
from the strictly logical concatenations become fully ,
aware o f the fact by the e ff e ct the pregnancy and concise

ness o f the essays will have on his mind Involuntarily .
,
he will feel the need o f continuing the line o f thought by

himself 5 f or many things that the authors had personal
knowledge o f and alluded to without fully expres sing
, ,
will n ow impel the reader to seek his own adequate ex

pression What the reader should do to acquire full bene
.
fit from the experience o f others is simplicity itself : L et

hi m, whi le r ea d i ng th e hook, gi ve h imself up i
en t r e ly,
m i nd an d s oul, t o th e i d ea s r ev ea l ed th er ein . L et him
read the entire series from beginning to end and then ,
read for a second time the first part which contains the
, ,
general outlines o f the problem in its entirety ; finally he

shoul d allo w the ideas he has received to continue active
in his mind He will not be long in di scovering that what
.
made the most vivid impression on his mind was j ust what
concerns him personally He will realize that he has been
.
applying as a matter of course the particular form Of his

, ,
individual problem to the general problems placed before

him At the same time he will become conscious of the
.
general significance o f his individual position in its true ,
relationship to the meaning o f marriage in general He .
s hould meditate on what he has realized and the word

, ,
I N T RODU C TI O N
if he be truly willing cannot fail to be made flesh in his
,
mind Thus kn owledge may here also lead to salvation

.
and deliverance.
COUN T HERMANN K EYSERL I NG

S C H OOL O F W I SDOM
Paradeplatz D armstadt July
, ,
1 92 5 .
C o n ten ts
P AG E
I n tr o ducti on
PA RT O NE
C OU NT H E RM A N N K E Y SE R L N G I
T h e C o r r ect Statemen t of th e M i ge
ar r a Pr bl
o m
e
P A RT T W O : M A RR IA G E I N S P A C E A ND TI M E
A . W . N IE U W E N H U IS
T he G en es s o i f M a r r ia
ge
L EO FRO B E NI U S
M ar r ia
g e an d M a tr i a r c y
h
RA B I N DRA N A T H T A G O RE
T h e In d i an I d ea l o f M ar r a i ge
I
R C H A RD W I L HEL M
M ig
T h e C h in ese C o n c eptio n of ar r a e
C OU N T P A U L T H U N -H O H E N ST E I N
Th M i g
e f C n v ti n i n E ur p
ar r a e o o en o o e
P A U L E R N ST
M i g d P l t i n ism
a rr a e an ro e ar a
R I C A R DA H U C H
R m n ti M r i g
o a c a r a e
J A K O B W A S S E R M A N N
B u g is M
o r i geo arr a e
M A RT A K A R L W E I S
M i g d th C h n gi g W m n
arr a e an e a n o a
BEA T R I C E M H I N K L E .
M i g i n th N w W l d
ar r a e e e or
X C O N T EN T S
PA GE
T HO MAS MA N N
M arr i a
g e in T r a n si ti on
LE O N I E U N G E R N -ST E R N B E R G
T he M a rr a i ge of th e Futur e
P A RT T H R E E : M A RR I A G E A S AN E T E R NA L
P R O BLEM
COU NT H ERM A NN KE Y SE RL I N G
T he P r op er C h o ic e of P t ar n er s
E R N ST K RET SC H M ER
Phy i l s ca an d Sp i r itua l H ar mony i n M ar r i a e
g
H A N S VO N I
HAT T N G B E RG
M a r r ia
g e as a n An a lytic l a Si tuat ion
C . G .
J U N G
M a rr ai ge as a Pyh l
s c o ogi c a l R le a ti on s hip
A L FR E D A DL E R
M ar r ia
g e as a T k as
H AV E L O C K E L L IS
Lo v e as a n Ar t
M E C H T I L DE L IC H N O W S K Y
M ar ri a
g e as a W or k of A rt
P AU L DA H L K E
M arr a i ge as a Fetter
M A T H I L DE V O N K EM N T Z I
M ar r i a ge a s Fu lfil m en t
A L P H O N SE M A E DE R
M a r r i a ge a n d Se f -l D vl e e o
p m en t
L EO B A EC K
M a r r i a ge as My t y s er an d C o m ma n d
J O S E P H B E R N H A RT
M ar r ai ge as a Sa c r a men t
Po stscr i p t by the d E i to r
N o te o n the T r n sl ti
a a on
T h e C o r r e c t S t a t e me n t
o f t h e M a r r i a
g e P r o b l e m
COUNT H E R M A NN K EY SERL IN G
T he Co rrec t S ta temen t o f the M a r ri a ge P rob l em
fundamental problems o f life cannot be solved

HE
T according to a schedule because they are both in
,
reality and int r insically individual problems ; on every

occasion when they a r ise the individual character of each
the only starting -p oint f or its solution, and con se
a fl o ds
r
quently in every single case the solution must be unique

al so T o infer from these facts that the statement and
.
solution of the problems in question is a matter of sub

j ecti v e arbitrariness h owever , is to fall into a gross mis
,
understanding : the unique nature of the concrete situation

is the manifestation of universal significance which is i n
herent in the problem as such and independent of its
particular expression This universal significance is , taken
.
formally, j u st as strictly determined by the mere f or mu

lation of the problem as an equation is by its terms 3 it
comprises exact possibilities and limits which neither
opinion n or arbitrary considerations can change Further .
,
the formal possibilities and limits prove to be sub stantial

entities wherever the problem expresses a nece ssity o f
life Here incorrect statement and solution give rise not
.
, ,
only to nonsense but to a ctual disaster That it must be

, .
so is evident when the problem arises with the fact o f life
itself which is a pr i or i to all suppositions and desires

, .
The significance o f birth and death f or example is inde ,

1
,
1 Fo r th e si gn ific a n c e o f d
e ath , s ee th e ylc c e e nti t l e d Wer d en a nd
b
Ver g eh en i n my ook W i ed er g eb ur t, p bli
u sh e d by O tt o Rei c h l, D a r msta d t,
1 92 6.
4 C O UN T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
pendent of any per sonal interpretation ; it insists on being
understood and endured A false notion here , in one wav
.
or another leads to an ad absur dum The state of a ff airs

,
.
is les s clear where the problems , i n their given form , are

not by nature inevitable and prescribed by destiny but ,
created by man ; this especially applies to such problems

as find their solution in cultural forms However, the .
same is true here al so as the problem s o f the intellect and

,
spirit
,
in contrast to tho s e considered above have in the ,
same sense to presuppose creative man , as the other pro b
lems presuppo se organic life Here again the starting

.
,
point determines strictly definite p ossibilities and limits ;

the formal statement corre sponds to actual conditions and
facts wherever the problem is universally felt to be
essential to life O nly in this case not a ctuality is sub
.
stan ti al
,
but what ought to be Whereas natural forms
.
“ ”
signify for humanity given facts ( G egehenh ei ten ) ,
cultural forms represent results to achieve ( Aufgab en ) .
But as such these also possess a significance independent

,
of any opinion or arbitrary consideration ; only such a

person can satisfy and solve them as has understood this
significance Consequently the most personal of prob
.
lems dealing with life can only be solved by acquiring an

insight into its universal nature O n the other hand if.
,
this insight is acquired, it suffices t o sh o w the only right

method of solution in each individual case This applies .
especially to the problem of marriage M arriage is .
neither an outcome of natural laws n or the play of des

tiny ; and it is only possible in a pure form when a definite
level Of consciousness has been attained being altogether ,
a creation o f the spirit N evertheles s it is not an arbitrary

.
productio n as all savage peoples who pos sess tradition

,
and these are fundamentally more bound by their tradi

tion s than are later civilized peoples— are acquainted with
C ORRE C T S T A T E M E N T OF MARR I AGE PRO B LE M 5
marriage in on e form or another ; the more social con
sci ousn ess is developed , the deeper becomes the sign i fi
cance of marriage N either adverse opinion nor practical

.
refutation has ever succeeded in undermining the esteem

in which it is held : and whenever its true significance has
been fully realized it has aided any person w ho felt the
,
vocation to the highest form of self-development .
N either is marriage an empty form that can acquire any

meaning : its conception is determined by strictly definite
p ossibilities and limits It p osse sses from the out s et a.
specific meaning T o make this relevant is the aim of

.
2
this book .
W is marriage ? In the first place it is not the self

H AT
evident fact that mo st people take it for who are
not induced by personal misadventure to oppose or r ep udi
ate its true significance It is not the generally valid solu.
tion of all problems dealing with love nor yet the natural ,
fulfilment o f every human craving ; primarily because

man is complex and too little integrated to permit o f all his
impu lses being brought under one head without coercion .
P rimarily, every one is by nature p olygamous and woman ,
2
d
Rea er s O f my o ok s w i b ll
h a e a r ea v l dy
r ec o gn i ze d
f r o m th i s i ntr o
d p
uc ti o n th a t T h e B o o k of M a r r i a g e i s a s ec i a l ma ni f es t a ti o n o f th e
p p l
s i r it a n d i m u se o f th e S ch oo l o f W i s o m d
In f a c t I
h a e c o n c ei e v vd
d l ly d l
.
a n d a r r a ng e i t si mi a r t o o n e o f th e D a r ms ta t s es s i o ns T h e so e a i m
l d b lly
.
o f th e S c h oo o f W i s o m i s th e r ec o n s tr uc ti o n o f l i f e o n th e a si s o f f u
r ea i zel d s i g n ific a n c e It c a n o n ly pl
a cco m i sh th i s gen er a l ur o s e p p by
l
.
v
gi i ng th e r i gh t so uti o n to e a ch s ec i fic p p bl ro p em T he r i n ci a u p l p bl
i
l v b b
.
c a ti o n s up t i l n o w h a e een my oo k s S c h b pf er i s ch e Er k enn tn i s a n d
b bl d
W i ed erg eb ur t, w h ich a r e ein g p u i sh e b y O tto Rei ch ! i n th e a utumn
o f thi s y ea r l d dp b
A t th e a nn u a s ess i o n s a t D a r mst a t, w o r l ro
lems a r e g i en v a n ew a dj y p x ly
u st ment a n d s m h o n i c tr e a tment, e a c t
a s w i th ma r r i a g e i n th i s b
o ok l p d
T h e r esu t s a r e th en r i n te i n th e
lp b ld
.
a nn u a u li c at i o n en ti t e v v v
D er L eu chter ( up to 1 92 6, s e en o lumes h a e
app d ea r e ) l d d p l p bl
T h e S c h o o o f W i s o m e a ls w i th s ec i a b ro ems ea r i ng
l p d d v
.
on i f e, i n i ts r oc ee i ng s D er W eg z ur Vol len ung ( up to 1 92 6, el e en

b
nu m e r s ) Fur th er d l v p p
et a i s a r e g i en i n th e r o s ec tus, w h i ch c a n b e
d
.
b
o tai ne d
f r o m th e offic es o f th e S chool of W i s om, D a r mst a t,d
P dp
a r a e l atz 2 .
6 C OUN T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
more so than man as her eroticism is more delicately
,
graded O ne consideration will suffice to make thi s clear

. ,
namely that the natural goal of love is for the differen ,
tiated woman only in exceptional cases the goal o f her

,
erotic needs ; the latter being already satisfied by flirtation .
A s marriage partners both man and wife t h ink primarily

,
o f their progeny ; neither the father n or , e spe cially the ,
mother sees anything m ore in the other partner than a

means to an end ; thi s accounts for the disregard in which
women are held by all primitive men and explains the
typical Cxperience that woman as the mother-animal
and how many ar e only this ! -sees in her mate, o n the
one hand a necessary evil and onthe other , the imper
, ,
sonal protector and supporter These two points readily

.
explain why marriage so rarely satisfies the demands Of

people who possess a highly personal consciousness and ,
it is j ust on this ba sis that most marriages among Civilized

races are built When entering on marriage most people
'
.
sup ose th at their choice represents the on e and only per

p
son possible in each ca se while later experience only too
,
often proves that the person selected appeared to be the

“ ”
only p ossible one merely because the racial problem
only arises for the individual as a personal problem ; or
else they appeared only for a short time to be made
for each other Unfortunately no form o f marriage is
.
wrecked so easily as that which is based solely on personal

attraction whereas on the contrary the latter has the best
, , ,
Chances of survival if love does not turn to marriage In .
the same way only in very exceptional cases does the wife
,
preserve her potential character as sibyl and muse And .
here we touch on the third reason why marriage is not the

self evident fulfilment of all aspirations That which
-
.
primarily constitutes a person s idiosyncrasy is essentially

’
solitary ; it is incapable o f any communion that would

8 C O UN T H ERMAN N KEYSE RL I N G
tion and propagation ; since according to its very idea mar
, ,
r i age i s notwithstanding all th e usual definitions which the

,
expectation o f each per s on belies not merel y a racial ,
que stion but primarily a personal matter O n the other

,
.
hand the real ego as essentially a solitary entity does not

,
allow o f communion Fur ther, marriage can only be

.
conceived as a durable life companion ship between man -
and wife when it is both a sexual and personal bond .
This is the case not merely on account of its particular

significance but al so for sociological rea sons A nd in fact
,
.
,
it was never differently contemplated even where polyg

amy either as the maintenance o f several wives or in the
,
s hape o f permi ssible divorce and remarriage destroyed ,
this idea from a practical point of View Under these .
circum stances the life -form of marriage must possess a

s pecial and independent significance L ove propagation .
, ,
and self-preservation can only act as components Within .
its domain the i solation of the ego must be fundamentally

s ecured S uch a conception of higher unity is a ctually
.
realizable : i t cor r esp onds exactly w ith an ellipti ca l field

o
f f or ce The latter h as two foci which are fixed and
.
never can be merged in one another ; its interpolar tension

cannot be abolished if the field is to remain intact The .
interpolar tension is at the same time an independent unit

created by the field of force itself This unit cannot be .
deduced from the specific character o f each pole taken ,
s eparately or together or from any other possible rela

,
tion exi sting between the two In the very same sense .
marriage represent s an independent unit over and above

each partner and h is particular impul ses M arriage taken .
,
formally is an independent categor y o f reality W hich a c

, ,
cording to K ant s usage of the term ’

independently
o f all empirical causation of its content has an
) a p r i or i
value If a marriage relationship is once established no

.
,
C ORRE C T S T A T E M EN T OF MARR I AGE PRO B LE M 9
matter h ow it originated , it represents pictorially an ellip
tical field of force .
N marriage sexual propagative economic and social

I bonds acquire a new and special significance ; the same
, , ,
applie s to personal and j oint destiny That this signifi .
cance is n ot merely the same eve r yw here— otherwi se mar

r iage would not always have remained an ideal for all
normal young people— but is actually valid and active

wherever marriage relations exist , is proved by the com
mon exp erience o f how greatly marriage alters the charac
ter of the partners , and in quite another manner from
any other form of partnership N ew qualities arise new .
,
dominants determine life and mo st impo r tant of all the

, ,
motive s which led up to marriage are soon relegated to

the background N O matter how great and enduring the
.
love the sexual element s oon assumes a secondary r Ole

,
j ust as in the case o f liai s ons the Chief drawback consists

,
in the exaggerated imp ortance attached to thi s element

also the subj ective pretensions to happiness lose much o f
their force I n place o f the se intimate ties relating to
.
,
mutual destiny are formed which for any one who is not ,
too superficial are far more valuable than any passion or

,
selfish happiness for by means of these ties deeper rooted

,
-
powers and aspirations o f the human spirit are able to work

themselves out This special con sciousness o f unity is the
.
immediate creation of the marriage relation It is the .
“
best illustration o f the truth that to a great extent sig
” 4
n i fican ce creates the facts and not vice versa The ele
,
.
vation o f character and a ssimilation that takes place in the

case o f married couples never reaches down to the indi
vidual nucleus— and this accounts for the typical r e v ei l d e
'
la v en ve which in its vehemence is often comparable to

,
4 T h i s i s th e ma i n th es i s Of my S ch opf er is che Er k i
enntn s .
lO C O UN T H ERMAN N KEYSE RL I N G
the r e veil da li on the reverting of a widow no matter
’
, ,
’
how much she was formerly merged in her husband s
—
character to her original family type it re sts largely on
,
the fact that both partners assimilate more o f the p ar ticu

lar spirit of their union , the longer marriage lasts In .
the same manner the defective type of bachelor or Old

,
maid is essentially a psychic manifestation ; it is in fact

much more the want Of a specific spiritual reality, which
marriage creates than the lack of erotic and generative
,
experience E ven if this has been plentiful the defective

.
,
type still appears wherever the consciousness of unity

mentioned above has remained undeveloped j ust as on , ,
the contrary the p sychological type of married woman

,
develops under favourable intellectual and spiritual con

ditions even in a mar iage hlane
,
These f ew examples .
s hould sufli ce to show that marriage rests first and last on
the particular state o f tension which it creates The .
tensile state reacts creatively by means of suggestion on

th e mental and spiritual as well as on the physical plane
and creates a corresponding new reality For it seem s .
proved beyond doubt that sexual intercourse not only

operates productively as regards the birth of children but ,
al so in the ca se of the parents themselves .
But how can this special condition which is unknown ,
to N ature and which from a selfish p oint of view r epr e

,
sents for each more of a bond than a sati sfaction be ,
recognized as a vehicle of the ideal so that all ethical sys ,
tems will require it and every religion admit its sacra

mental character ? N ow we are approaching the sub stan
tial foundation of what up till now has only been worked
out in a categorical form B ecause of this state of tensi on
.
w hi ch con sti tutes mar r ia e

g fir st th e n on —
i ndi vi dual a nd
,
sup r a er son al el e ments w hi ch a r e th e ha sis o e a ch p er

p f
indi vid uality
’
s on s are
gi ven th e r e quisi te f ocus ,
which
C ORRE C T S T A T E M EN T OF MARR I AGE P RO B LE M l l
ena bles man t o or d er his pers ona l life in acc o r dance wi th

th e un i v er s al w h ole o
f li f e A n d a t t h e s ame time th e
.
un i qu en ess o f his individuality, w hich mains f or him re
th e ul ti ma te en ti ty, r e ce ives th e n ecessar y a dj ustment t o
insur e i ts fr eed om within th i s c or r e la ti on . M an n ot only

posse sses a unique personality but is prima r ily a r epr e
sen tativ e o f the race a social being and a part of the ,
cosmo s This fact is di fficult for the mind t o comprehend

.
because of its subj ective limitations and preconceptions .
Its reality is nevertheless certain N ot merely as seen .
from the outward perception of life as a whole where ,
intuition di stinctly shows that isolated independence is

a rare and incidental flower growing on the sup er individ
ual stem , but also from the point o f view of each separate
entity and that without contradicting its metaphysical
,
uniqueness Life as a collective whole actually requires ,

.
for the realization of its highest expression a dual co ,
operation S ocial instinct precedes self-consciousness

. .
E very religious and ethical system and all intellectual and

spiritual ideals have their foundation in the primary real
ity of the superindividual state All ideals , which are .
nothing else than the exponents and symbols Of an inner

reality attest to a state beyond isolation That these are
, .
a ctual realities is shown again and again by the practical

consequences of their neglect H ere we have in mind .
especially such conditions as bring about the isolation and

retrogression of social instinct and consequently introduce
disea se This state of a ff airs can be remedied by r esusci
.
5
tating social instinct Consequently the empirical ego .
?
lly xp l i i my b k U bli h k it h w p i d i v i d l
I fu e a n n oo ns ter c e o su er n ua c o ns
p d i d i v i d l i i mp
s c ro us n es s r ece d h w v y
es n hi l y ua n o r ta nc e, an o e er et ca s s
tem d p d e hi enTh li y
s f h m
on t m s (M hh i te r ea t o a u an co s os ens c e s
p mi b d p y hi p li y i d l wi h i
.
k m )
os os as a re se ase on s c c er s o n a t s ea t t n an
y i l d W l h g d L b g l g i my Wi d g b
es sa en t t e e ta ns c a uun an e en s es ta tun n e er e ur t
T h p i ip l m i h l f i d ivid l p y h l gy ( I d i i d
.
“ ”
e r nc f h a er t o t e sc l oo o n ua s c o o n v ua
p y h l gi ) f
s c o o d d by A l f d A dl i
e h v
o un dm
e d h re er , s to a e e on str a te t e
p h l gi l h d f d f
,
at o o f i l i
ca c iv i l i
a r a c ter io so a t o n an o e ec t e s oc a nst nct .
12 C O UN T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I NG
“ ”
is from the outset bound to a correlative thou N ow .
marriage represents th e archetype Of this interpersonal

tension taken in its widest sense In marriage , co smic
,
.
conditionality and personal freedom, which sets its own

tasks form an indi ssoluble synthesis In it the world of
,
.
facts and the world o f values are merged It is clear .
that the synthesis o f marriage is not the only condition

under which this is achieved Whoever has outgrown
.
racial bond s and is above egotism and whose conscious ,
ness reflect s metaphysical unity can find his proper ad ,
j ustment in the cosmo s as an outwardly separated entity .
But the vast maj ority of people have not outgrown racial
bonds nor are they above egotism or metaphysically con
,
scious In the great maj ority of cases , the will to live in

.
the natural sense predominates For all such persons .

,
marriage o ff er s the best means to perfection M a rriage .
is the only way or at lea st the most ea sy by which they

, ,
can merge their natural in stinct s with their spiritual na

ture to form a higher union Under these conditions , is
,
.
it surpri sing that marriage is generally recognized a s

fulfilment of a higher degree than any gratification o f
particular inclinations or any performance o f special du
,
tie s ? In marriage all particulars are drawn into a higher

correlation in which state it first receives its full personal
,
and cosmic significance That is why marriage is con

.
si der ed a religious duty in India That is why the Chi .
nese with their sense for the correlation of the cosmos see
, ,
in the unmarried state s omething inferior to human status .
And that is why marriage is looked upon as a sacrament

by the Chri stian religion and its ethics as a paradigm for
,
all moral problems For the same reason illicit sexual

.
intercourse is considered immoral P hysiology is in itself .
ethically indi fferent But the fulfilment Of humanit y

.
certainly requires that pa r ticular impulses should be lived

o ut in proper relation to their cosmic association ; to shift

the accent or break away from this principle is directly
to convert the most beautiful t o the most foul ; this is
apparent with terrible clearness in the case of love Here .
is the explanation why generation after generation ,
though personally unhappy and disappointed has always ,
held up to youth a picture of marriage as the estate of

bli ss ; this is why even match — making mothers pay only
s light attention to forebodings of unhappine s s that may
a ff ect their children as against their precept to marry :

,
for marriage must prevail The end j u stifies the means

. .
A wi se woman once laugh ingl y commended a marriage ,
the unhappy termination o f which I had predicted , with

“
these words : Then they will be unhappy and out o f that ,
”
they will make something The fooli s h act similarly
.
,
but without the courage to gra sp the truth .
W have here reached a conclusion o f paramount im

E
portance : that marriage a s a s olution of the prob ,
lem o f happiness i s misconceived from the out set A

,
.
happy marriage in an egotistic sense such a s infatuated

, ,
lovers expect i s j ust as rare as love Children who turn out

,
-
well in spite of all exi sting prej udices The essential dif
,
.
ficulties o f life d o not end but rather begin with mar , ,
r ia e
g The. con s cious acceptance of responsibility in life
means ips o fa cto the acceptance of su ffering It thus b e .
6
comes evident to what a great extent selfish expe ctation

of happine ss in the case of engaged couples depends on
, ,
a trick o f nature according to S chopenhauer s usage of

“ ”
,
’
the term N or should one forget here the special cir

.
cumsta n ce that fulfilment result s in the di sappearance of
the craving The happiness of being betrothed consi sts in

.
6
p
C o m a r e th e c c e Wer yl dW
en a nd Ver g e/zen es ec i a p lly th e p a r t e nti tle d
d
,
G es chzchte a ls T r a g odi e, i n i ed er g eb ur t ( D a r mst a

’‘
t,
I4 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
“ ”
the Vitalizing feeling o f the as yet untouched , and this
is terminated by marriage O ne may even say that the
.
current conception of conj ugal happiness is dependent on

the point of view of tho se who do not possess on e an
other ; the same is true owing to a proce ss of identifica
,
tion Of all such outsiders as invariably rej oice at every

,
wedding E very on e should make up his mind to thi s

.
once and for all Then he is ripe for the reconciliatory

.
truth that happiness, as such, can never con stitute a prob

lem Happiness comes from a sense of achievement ; its
.
significance, however, is always dependent on definite as

sump ti on s There is the happiness of love, of mother
.
hood o f creation , and many other varieties In order to

,
.
experience these one must have one s Obj ect clearly in

,
’
view ; then happiness comes as the result o f achievement .
From this it will be clear to what extent conj ugal happi

ness can exist, without contradicting what has gone before .
At its lowest stage it signifies an assured routine N ature .
is full of routine , and man as D ostoev sky teaches us is

, ,
the one animal that adapts himself simply to every con

dition Consequently on this plane a gratified existence
.
,
is always a ssured A problem that is not set does n ot exist

. .
E ven a slave would not murmur continually against a des

tiny that he accepted as legitimate Thus the marriages .
of primitive people , as long as natural impulses are satis
fied are seldom unhappy o f whatever kind the special

, ,
circum stances may be These impulses rarely remain

.
unsatisfied H ence a state similar to marriage exists even

.
among animals For this reason , under normal condi

.
tions where the type dominates the individual marriages

, ,
arranged by experienced relative s who take both non ,
individual and universal considerations into account are ,
u sually happier than love— matches unless love happens to ,

happiness can n ever undermine true conj ugal felicity .
If the significance of marriage is rightly understood and ,
here the correct adj u stment o f the unconscious is consider

ably more important than a clearly formulated view then ,
the highest conceivable fulfilment o f earthly existence

is made p ossible For th e fulfilment of marr i age a nd
.
i ts h appi ness entail the accepta nce of th e s ufier ing p er

taining to l i fe . It gi ves th e latter a n e w an d d eeper mean
i ng For it lifts conscious man to the heights where the
.
equation of life can be solved Thus it really proves a .
shield against sufl er in g L ife and sn fl er ing are one in .

,
asmuch as there can be no con struction without simultane
ous destruction and as harmony only passes as such as a

,
liberation from dissonance I will give a brief summary .
of the conclu sions arrived at in the cycle W er d en und

Ver geh en in Wi eder gehur t
,
I f man wishes to live he .
,
must also be prepared to su ff er ; if he seeks for j oy and

happiness in the ordinary sense he will obtain only par ,
tial fulfilment and that this does not correspond to the

,
true significance o f life is evidenced by the feeling of

emptiness which inevitably follows every purely selfi sh
gratification But whoever accepts suffering from the
.
outset places himself in the very centre of the meaning Of

Life For him there is a stage beyond j oy and suffering
.
,
in the same sense as melody is a stage beyond the death

and birth o f the single notes For him no unhappiness .
,
can rob life o f its meaning Thus in so called happy mar .

,
-
r iages the problem o f happiness is not solved in the usual

, ,
sen se of the w ord but properly speaking it is dismi ssed

, .
8
Dismissed inasmuch as it is accepted as a part of the

,
tragedy of life And now we are prepared for another

.
truth which at first sounds paradoxical : M arriage is not

,
8 1n w h at sens e mo st p bl
ro e l lv d
ms o f i f e c annot b e so e , b ut c a n o n ly
be d i s mi s sed , i s sho w n in my lectur e, S pa mmi ng und Rhy thmus, i n
Wzed er g eb ur t
O
.
C ORRE C T S T A T E M E N T OF MARR I AGE PR O B LE M 17
by nature a condition o f happiness , but a tragic one We .
term tragic the conflict f o r which there is n o conceivable

solution In this sense all conscious life is plainly tragic,
.
for its entire course depends on the interruption and de

struction o f existing equilibria , and consequently, the
constant formation of new states of tension It is imp os .
s ible to live without ever and ever again incurri ng guilt ,
as is shown by the commonplace fact that each creature

unavoidably lives at the expense of others , and that chil
dren cannot help proving themselves ungrateful from the
standpoint of their p arents Not to mention the fact
.
that n o radical change on the plane o f history is possible

without crime .
But if we consider life in another dimension that of ,
its solidarity in which each individual lives j u st as much

,
for the rest as in the struggle f or existence he lives at their

cost , the same tragic quality will be recognized for mutual ,
aid can never lead to that unity which love demands O f .
this class of tragedy, marriage represents the archetype .
Let us keep in mind its fundamental definition : marriage

sets up an indissoluble state o f tension and its very exist
,
ence depends on the preservation of this state M an and .
woman both as individuals and as types are f un damen

, ,
tally di ff erent incompatible and essentially solitary In

, .
marriage they form an indissoluble unit of life based ,
upon fixed distance But every impulse tends on its own

.
account to overcome the latter L ove requires a blend

.
ing a merging in on e another ranging from physical

, ,
intercourse right up to intellectual and spiritual compre

hen sio n The desire f or power whether active or pas
.
,
sive requires the submission of one person to another ;

,
the desire for happiness means peace the ces sation of ,
tension A ll these problems are insoluble because the

.
,
very existence of marriage depends both on their not b e

18 C O U N T H ERMA N N KEY S ERL I N G
ing solved and on their insolubility ; an ellipse can never
become a circle The aspirations of love and power orig
.
in ate in the urge o f primordial cell s to become part s o f

s ome higher state T h e de sire to aboli sh ten sion amount s
.
to a desire for death A ll higher forms of life are built

.
up of unrelieved lower tensions The higher it ri se s the.

,
more tragic is its character In the animal kingdom the

.
ten sion betw een the sexes is subj ectively discharged a s

s oon as copulation has taken place In the ca se of man.
it is pe rpetual , and ever in vain do man and woman at

tempt to unite, to understand on e another The constant .
practice of sexual intercourse is s y mbolic of thi s for ,
when it is not due to a ff ection it is considered a conj ugal

,
duty regardless of a desire for progeny A nother illu s

,
.
tr ati on of this is the fact that primitive couples see nothing

contrary to happiness in their quarrels and di scords ; at
thi s level as tension cannot be aboli shed , they a ctually
,
function as harmle ss safety-valves N either can the con .
fl ict which each feels to exist between self-interest and

duty to the other partner and the children be avoided ;
the conflict between personal ambition and social obliga
tions is absolutely inevitable , for ultimately each person
is a completely separate entity But the very significance
.
of ma rriage is contained in this paradox of two separate

entities interdependent and bound to one another who
, ,
do not however mingle or lo se their identity In mar

, , .
r i age ,man become s aware o f the tragedy essential to

life in the form o f a personal problem a problem in the
, ,
sen s e that tragedy cannot be aboli s hed Human life in .

,
a smuch as it is superior to that of plant s and animal s start s

,
only with the perception Of the inevitability of traged y

and its willing acceptance From thi s it is evident in w h at
.
sense a perfect marriage must represent for man the high

est achievement Of his purpose In marriage tragic tensio n
.
is instinctively accepted as the basis of life In marriage .

,
from the very outset each individual finds his correct ad

j ustment t o the cosmic purpo se A nd henceforth the
.
problem s o f life are set beyond the plane of tragedy .
They are set in accordance with their universal and ulti

mate significance Thus su ff ering can mean happine ss j ust
.
as much as satisfaction can ; and the most poignant pain

can be j oyously accepted if it is recognized as the f ulfil
ment of man s destiny Thus creative responsibility b e
’
.
comes the ultimate aim of all cravings for happiness .
And now we a r e in a position to understand why the

true significance O f the marriage proble m can be compre
hended only in its highe st expression and why it can be ,
solved only by highly developed people : marriage a c

quires its true meaning only when partnership is based on
the realization of its tragic significance All relations b e .
tween man and woman where this is n ot the case are either
prelim inary stages or retrogressions U nder the latter.
conditions it is c ertainly easier to find banal satisfaction ;

,
for neither cabbages nor cows know a nything of tragedy .
O n the other hand, every on e even the most primitive

, ,
has an inkling that marriage begins to achieve its purpose

only at the tragic stage A ll marriages which have served
.
humanity as symbols or models were examples of austere

destiny j oyously met There can be n o thought of con
.
j ugal happiness until this is n o longer endangered by un

happiness This consideration gives rise t o several points
.
of interest First it explains why at a low level of de

.
,
velo ment domestic partner ship based on a proper divi

p
sion of labour and responsibility has always proved the
only durable form o f conj ugal feli city S econdly, all .
model s of ideal married life which have found general

“
acceptance represent the highest expres sion of conven
tional marriage ” S tand eseh e “
( ) [ By conventional
. mar
i
r age
”
( S ta n d I mean in accordance with its orig
es eh e ) , ,
inal and correct sense marriage as the body of a specific

,
et h os the et h o s of a definite cultural order of a definite

, ,
”
standing in the cosmos As a corollary it also set s the
“ .
,
blood limits within which the choice of partners is in

-
each case permi ssible Heredity 13 only incidentally a

.
deci sive factor becau se marriage as opposed to monach ism

,
aim s at the perpetuation and rai sing of stock to a standard

determined by spiritual ideal s ! Up till now when a gen ,
eral high level did not exist the significance of marriage

,
could be realized exclusively on th e heights of human

attainment For realization presupp oses the subordina
.
tion of all particular impulses There must be th e will

.
to harmonize all the components on which the marriage

relation is based Con sequently if marriage is contracted
.
,
or annulled merely on grounds of passion thi s can never ,
be taken as a sign of superior character but of inferior ,
statu s . M arriage is essentially respon sibility Thirdly .
and principally the above considerations account for the

,
fact that matrimonial happiness on a lower plane is detr i

mental to a pers on wh o has other w ise reached a higher .
Today the satiety of the bourgeois conception of h appiness

awakens nothing but di sgu st in every intelligent and as
piring youth and the ho stility felt toward the marriage
,
order is chiefly due to its being identified with this con

ce ti on
p Ful
. l y developed man mu st never feel satiated ,
as his entire value depends on the illimitableness of his

aspirations S atiety is only po ssible w herever a spiration
.
h as given place to some form of routine And thi s proves .
derogatory in proportion to the man s abilitie s Thus the ’

.
intellectual w oman as opposed to the primitive female

, ,
appears repugnant as a mere creature of sex or maternal

animal ; and the man completely submerged in conj ugal
life seem s abj ect From thi s one can j udge how perni
.
ci ous is the Christian idea which sees an ideal in the mere
fact Of marriage It is absolute nonsense to regard mar

.
r i age as the legitimate gratification o f animal pas sion and
an opportunity of letting oneself go Thi s ideal is un .
worthy o f mankind and wherever it is upheld , it cause s

,
more harm than any A starte cult M arriage is es sentially

.
an ideal common to all humani ty, for if properly under ,
stood and carried o ut it pr ecl ud es the p ossibility of at

,
taining satisfaction on a low plane, and con sequently es

tabli shes a higher o n e Its intention is not to slacken but
.
to i nten sify condition s That is why unhappily married

.
people more rarely do harm to their souls than those who

are happily married N ot only does an unhappy marriage
.
promote self—development more positively than does a

state o f ease due to lack of experience but it leads more ,
r eadily to that inward happiness which is the necessary

consequence of achievement than any harmony can hope
to do which fails to make life more intense N aturally I .
do not wi sh t o imply that marriages in which on e mem

ber irritates the other posse ss in consequence a positive
virtue I refer exclusively to su ff ering that intensifies
. .
But this much remains true in spite o f demur : ver y f ew

,
people can stand conditions of life that are too happy ; the
great maj o ri ty become stulti fied by them Life is only .
felt to be real when it is creatively a ctive Thu s people .
who appear to outsiders to be exceptionally happy becau se ,
of their freedom from care are as a rule the least sati s

,
fied M an does not notice the fact o f his state as such ; he

.
only becomes aware of such problems as are set by the ex

istence o f his particular state For thi s reason the will to
.
adventure is the primary phenomenon of human life .
The pauper aspires to wealth the Obscure person to recog

,
22 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I NG
not actually for the t h ing in itself but because he
n iti on , ,
wi shes to widen h is range to proceed be y ond his present

,
state .
That is why th e rich so Often envy the poor That .
i s why a y oung girl de sire s to leave the protection and se

cur ity of her home ; in reality s h e wis h e s to experience
th e very opposite of w hat constitutes an ideal for parental

foret h ough t It i s j u st th e ri sk that sh e instin ct ively looks
.
for in marriage Yes N ietzsche was righ t in stating that

.
,
human life can never be understood statically but only

dynamically as the will to fuller life ; that is to say in
, ,
ten si ficati on M an desires to be free , not in order to be

.
s pared tribulation
—thi s is more liable to increase in pro
port ion to the degree of self determination attained but
- —
in order to grow S o he accept s the tensile state of mar
.
r i age chiefly for the reason that by its means ,

regenera ,
tion and new growth are made possible O n the physical .
plane this is repre sented by the birth of children O n .
the spiritual and mental plane it is exemplified by the

partner s inner development , as a result of their fully ac
’
cep ting and di scharging the obligation s o f life as laid

down by marriage N ot only are parent s educated j u st as
.
much by their c h ildren as vice versa but it is characteristic ,
of the marriage ten sion as a relation between two per

,
sons capable of development that the desire to resolve the

,
tension becomes sublimated in the sen se that on e partner

eit h er lifts the other t o a higher plane or wi shes to be ,
lifted by him Thi s accounts for the ineradicable worship

.
of the eternal feminine on the part o f man This ex

,
.
plains the desire of every woman to reverence her lover .
T h e deepe st significance o f marriage from th e standpoint ,
of the individual is the intensified life it gives ri se to

,
.
Consequently it is clearly evident h ow senseless it is to

,
look on marriage as a safe haven or on satiety as a con ,
j ugal i deal .
24 C O UN T H ERMAN N KE YSERL I NG
evolution ; wh erea s the human a spect of propagation is
c ontained in th e idea of breeding that is to say in at
, ,
taining cultivation and refinement Thi s however de .

, ,
pends principally on s piritual motives and not on natural

impul ses a n d the fact in itself is sufficient to account f o r
,
marriage as a problem quite apart from t h at of racial pres

er v a ti o n
. M an can only transcend th e limit s of the phys
i o l ogical nature he w as born with when living under the
influence of a particular mental and emotional atmo sphere .
Tradition signifies on the cultural plane the very same

t h ing that heredity does on the natural plane From this .
it follows incontrovertibly that it is contrary to the very

es sence of marriage to attempt to divorce it from motives
t hat transcend natural desires and have alwa ys been
a scribed to it by et h ics and religion Further t h i s con .
,
sideration definitely controverts the theory which holds
that the entire purpos e of marriage consists in love and

propagation The se non —natural motives are not inci
.
dental or artificial accession s but an es sential part of it

,
.
Th us religion and ethics are shown t o be fundamentally

correct in regard to thi s matter We will not ho w ever
.
, ,
enter into details here If in the meantime we examine

.
, ,
the significance of traditional idea s and laws of mar riage ,
we find that they one and all purpose to expres s th eor eti
cally and demonstrate practically what we recognize to be
the essential quality of marriage : that it is an independent
category over a n d above sexual uni on as well as racial
considerations and po ssesse s beside s a generic and cosmic
, ,
sen se
, a unique metap h y sical significance , the realization
of wh ich i s the ultimate aim of marriage In fa ct the .
,
true meaning of marriage w as already correctly under

stood in the earliest times Thus all primitive laws which
.
,
have been handed down to po sterity are valid as regards

their significance The first of the se relates to the equal
.
ity of birth of the partners From a purely formal point .
o f vie w a b i polar relation i s only tenable if the poles a r e

,
-
situated ,
at the level of the higher component on th e ,
same plane S hould thi s not be the case a readj u st

.
,
ment will take place in the direction of the lower member .
Since the obj ect and aim of all breeding is the evolution
o f a higher t yp e it stand s to rea son that equality o f birth
,
is from the point of view o f posterity the first condition

, ,
for a succe ssful marriage Therefore without any doubt .

, ,
as mankind become s more fully developed mentally it

will adhere even more strictly to thi s principle than the
primitive people s This certainly mu st not be interpreted
.
as referring to that n arrow conception of the term which

only takes name and station into ac c ount and only too f r e
quently contradict s the real meaning of equality of birth .
But it should be taken as referring to true equality which ,
will be increasingly dependent on mental and spiritual co

ordinates the higher mankind evolve s The second law
, .
deals with monogamy It i s quite impossible for any per

.
son to enter into a state of b i— polar ten sion with more than
one other From an intellectual p oint of view a p olyga
.
,
mou s marriage relation is even inconceivable wherea s p r ac ,
tically it cannot be realized becau se exactly that which con

,
stitutes the e ssence of marriage cannot develop in a harem
( to cite from the out set the mo st extreme expression of

p olygamy ) The harem mean s from a man s point o f ’
.
,
view a manifold liai son a breeding in stitution or a pri

, , ,
vate brothel according to the part icular circum stance s ;

,
while for the women it is something similar to an ,
Amazonian state In both ca ses the women inhabit a

.
,
kingdom o f their own and in both they are veritable

,
sovereigns in spite of their outward apparance o f weak

,
ness This accounts for the fact that harem women as

.
,
soon as circumstances are favourable attain a high degree ,

of individual development in a remarkably short time, and
as experience shows very quickl y find their way to the
,
emancipated state Of modern woman The third law in .
question prescribes the indissoluble nature of marriage .
When a relation consists essentially of an indi ss oluble

unity existing between two poles situated in space and time ,
divorce becomes a real contradiction in terms O f course .
from a practical point of view t h i s third law becomes in

,
cr easingly difficult to carry out , but not on account of its
inappropriatenes s but because under complex conditions

,
of life it is increasingly difli cult to contract a marriage

worthy o f the name If on e is in fairness bound to admit
.
that in accordance with the modern state of developed

,
consciousness divorce in the case o f a wrong marriage is

,
frequently a lesser evil than its continuance then every ,
form of frivolous wooing must al s o be condemned all the

more strictly Under the new circumstances to marry the
.
,
wrong man or woman should be accounted immoral , in

the same sense as up to the present free love has been
condemned The pos sibility of remarrying every year
.
ruins marriage much more fundamentally than even the

mo st frequent practice of adultery for the latter does not
,
at all a ff ect marriage as such but only o ff ends again st cer

,
tain of its component s whereas divorce lay s an axe at its

,
roots If the poles are continually changed a durable

.
,
state of ten sion cannot develop o r endure Consequently .
such A merican women as posse ss thi s characteri stic are as

,
t ype s either A mazons or courte sans and the men, as hus

, ,
bands appear subj ugated to such an extent as is otherwise

,
found only in polyandrous communities This shows .
with particular clearness h ow overstressing on e component

—
of a complex relation in the United S tates , the moral “
”—
idea destroys the balance of the whole system It .
would be reasonable to regard as breaches of conj ugal

faith only case s in which an ofl ence is committed against

the particular character o f marriage This does not imply
.
any leniency toward what is customarily looked upon as

betrayal But the latter is not an o ff ence against the
.
marriage relation proper I t can destroy an erotic union

.
,
it can endanger society, it can signify disloyalty to others

o r to oneself ; but it does not endanger marriage , properly
s peaking A dultery existed all through the ages and was

.
never looked upon as a real danger t o marriage in spite ,
of the stringent protective and deterrent mea sures that

were continually in force for good rea sons of their own ;
,
whereas facilitating divorce does seriously threaten mar

i
r age.
The time has come to make a clear statement of actual

facts so as to purge them of a common theological mis
conception f or marriage is not a concession to the weak
,
ness and sins of the flesh but a means of attaining the

,
highest spiritual development Consequently it can be

.
“ ”
predicted that marriage far from being eclipsed will
, ,
continue to grow in importance as mankind proceeds to

develop A nd this is not primarily due to the greater
.
measure o f individualization on which a higher state of

development is dependent , which in turn implies that the
general is C xpressed more and more exclu sively in the
image o f the particular — “
the noblest dedicates himself
to on e alone ( G oethe ) —but because the es sential qual
”
ity of marriage , as opposed to sexual union and propaga

tion, will be recognized to an ever greater extent as a
personal problem A t the same time the capacity will
.
increase for building up this particular form of union in

the true way Taking this into account it becomes evi
.
,
dent that the present attempt s at marriage reform far ,
from constituting a danger, will lead to a truer con cep

tion o f its real significance than was hitherto possible .
Every spiritualized state grows out o f what was originally
a non—spiritual one Its evolution is slow, and only at the
.
end of the process is it clearly seen what was intended

from the beginning The normal path toward spirituali
.
zati on does not lead away from N ature ; this is the most
notable error of all the doctrines which see in the monastic

state an ideal for humanity As lo ng as the human race.
persist s there will be need of birth and upbringing As

,
.
long a s the human race persists p olarization will be the ,
road to advancement ; and the p olarization of man and

w oman will in every respect remain the most fruitful con
dition As long as the human race persist s the ego of
.
,
normal man will have to bind itself outwardly to another

entity in order to attain its own perfection Where there .
can and sh ould be change is here : N ature must alway s

become less and less determinative ever less of an end ,
in it self and ever more a direct means to spiritual

,
realization .
W
E are now in a position to approach the practical
problem wh ich marriage po sits in every single
case M arriage as we have seen is not a fixed state
.
, , ,
arbitrarily e stablished to which each per son is forced to

,
comply but should be looked upon as a problem that h as

,
to be solved ever anew For marriage is not a natural .
condition capable of self-reali zation but a cultural state ,
whose essential meaning however much it exists by itself

, ,
can onl y be realized by such as are free to make their own

10
decisions Thi s alone implies that each particular case
.
requires particular expression The unique character Of .
th e particular problem which ari ses in each case will b e

10 My d
S chopf er i s ch e Er ken ntn i s ( D a r msta t, 1 92 2 ) sh o w s h ow i n e er v y
c a s e th e dvlp
e e o ment o f s i g n i fic a n c e i nto a pp
ea r a nc e i s a p
r oc es s w o r k
i n g f r o m w ithi n to w a r d d
t h e o ut s i e, th r o ugh th e me i um o f d a f r ee
subj ec t.
come finally evident when on e recall s what marriage

strictly means ; namely an indis s oluble relationship of b i
,
polar tension To realize this fundamentally each case

.
,
requires special conditions , depending on the character

o f the poles ; nor can every p air of poles compose thi s
unity of a higher order To treat the last point first : in a

.
primitive state of society it is not di fficult to make a proper

Choice o f partners ; the nearer the society is to N ature the ,
less importance is attached to individual Characteristics ,

“ ”
and the easier everything goes by itself because in ,
stin ct has free play and is sure o f attaining its goal Un .
der such conditions there is practically no restriction of

choice and a lmost any person may marry any other as
, ,
long as they harmonize as regards type Here also mar

.
ried life requires practically no skilful handling Thi s .
accounts f or what so many cultured people fail to under

stand the happiness of marriages in which the man is a
,
creature of brute strength and the woman a mere mas o

ch ist c
i , ,
—
sexual and maternal animal a condition which
is unfortunately still frequently met with in the so-called
cultural circles Of E ur ope— thi s is indeed a case of har
mony The problem always becomes more diffi cult to s olve
.
as di fferentiation and spiritualization increase and in an,
extreme case it assumes such a highly individual character

“ ”
that the conception of the on e and only po ssible mate
( E i n zi —
M O
’
l i ch e ) is no longer imaginary but the result

g g ,
of actual necessity . A s regards the particular character

which the marriage relation has to adopt in accordance
with the nature of the poles this important point ari ses
,
from its fundamental definition : that n o c on cr ete a sp ect

or ex
pr essi on i s c on cei va bl e w hi ch w o uld n o t, un d er cer
tain cir cumstan ces, cor r es o n d wi th th e si n i ca nc e o
p g fi f
mar r iage, as here everything depends on the real individ
uality o f the partners Their relation to one another is to
3 0 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEY S E RL I N G
a certain extent predetermined by their type character
istics In a matriarchal community marriage means some
.
thing di ff erent from what it means in a patriarchal state ,

since in the former case family ass ociations are given prom
i nen ce and in the latter case man and his ideals ( for
,
particulars see Frobenius ) In E ngland where on prin

,
.
,
cip l e the individual takes p recedence o f the family mar ,
r i age mu st , if for no other reason have a di ff erent mean

,
“ ”
ing from what it has in Italy, where the casa or house
con stitutes a vital association extending from the pater
familias to the domestic servants and ever since E trus can
times has compri sed the real unit beyond which no individ
ual is permitted to go : under these conditions a marriage
can never represent more than a part of the communal
“ ”
life of a hou se and consequently it can attain only by
,
way of exception the same high degree Of development

as where the two partners are looked upon as the princi
pal factors N ow as regards individual choice : the par

.
ticular nature o f an appropriat e marriage always depends

on the characteri stics and impulses which are actually
predominant in the partners Where this is a desire for
.
power and auth ority as it appears in a refined form in

, , ,
royal families only a marriage that has this for its

,
dominant factor can be regarded as adequate Where the .
main Obj ect of life is economic, as in the case of peasants

and merchants a money marriage is fundamentally more
,
suitable than a love match That is why what is known

.
as marriages of discretion are so often successful , as

property means so much more to the maj ority o f people
than anything el se and gratitude binds many people more
,
per manently and durably than any type of a ff ection could .
s—
R eal love marriage I refer only to such for it is well ,
known that every marriage is proclaimed to be a love

—
match are doubtful undertakings, because only highly
3 2 C O UN T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
nature nor by any law of their own being as lovers always ,
like to imagine Consequently marriage can only achieve

.
the desired realization if all these components were taken

into account when the choice of partners was made The .
differentiated man or woman Of today is guided almost

exclusively by erotic impulse and self interest If the -
.
entire personality is not made the decisive factor when

choosing partners then it is more rea sonable that the,
motives which lie both above and below the personal plane
should decide as the social factor is actually the most
,
prominent and imp ortant even from an individual stand ,
point For man s constitution includes over seventy per

.
’
cent of racial and social attributes This fact fully ac .
“ ”
counts for conventional marriages ( S tand eseh e ) , ar
ranged by others being in general more sati sfactory than
,
any love marriages which take into account individual ,
inclination only Instinct proves its reliability in the case

.
of marriage by the fact that both man and woman feel

themselves attracted with their entire beings to the
woman or man wh o really suits them Thi s is not the .
rule with peasants where the economic a spect dominates

, ,
but it does apply to the not over intellectualized nobleman -
( in the widest sen se of the word e g the t ypical E nglish ,

. .
,
man who contracts less bad marriages t h an any other

,
European ) The latter is not swayed by particular allure

.
ments but his entire being is directly attracted by people

,
of his own s ocial and per s onal standing Intellectualized .
“
man can only acquire requisite integration by realization
”
of significance and the sub sequent new adj ustment o f
“ 1
intellect and soul Where this is wanting the choice
.
,
of partners will seldom prove sati s factory In the latter .
case the neces sary art consists in the person being integrated
11
Com ar e p th e ch a pt er , Wa s u ns Not f a t, in my S chopf er ische
Er k enntn i s .
to such an extent by the aid o f creative recognition prior ,
to marriage , that his consciousness reflects the desire of

his entire being and not merely a p ortion o f it For this .
reason the di ff erentiated modern man should be warned

against marrying before thirty and the modern girl b e ,
fore thought and experience enable her to regain virginal

simplicity Later generations , being the product of a
.
more favourable intellectual and spiritual atmosphere ,
will by na ture again posse ss sufficient in stinct to permit

, ,
of their marrying earlier .
That is all that need be said concerning the art o f

Ch o osing the right partner But j ust as great an art is
.
“ ”
being married itself We must deal with this more
.
fully as up till n ow its importance has been completely

,
neglected Under primitive conditions there is hardly a

.
question o f this art The reason is the same here as makes

.
the entire problem o f marriage appear simple under such

circumstances ; so there is no need for me to return t o this
aspect of the subj ect But at higher stages o f develop
.
ment this profound art is a fundamental requirement for ,
wherever, by some means or other , marriage is realized

to be a tragic state o f tension it cannot be maintained as,
a state o f happiness and progress without constant care

an d skilful vigilance N O doubt the requisite faculty is
.
inborn with woman A s a type she has to bear with life

.
,
.
Consequently she is more realistic than man and her ,
whole psychology is so adj usted as not to sweep aside difli

culties but to master them
,
Further, as she is the .
primarily altruistic element in humanity she experiences ,
no di fficulty in sacrificing her personal will ; neither i s her

starting point in marriage ever altogether unfavourable
-
,
as she chooses the man and not vice versa except where ,
rape trafficking and other forms o f coercion are still

, ,
prevalent ; but in modern life this hardly comes into con

34 C OU N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
s ideration In this respect it may be said that civili zation
.
,
h as minimized the di fference between the patriarchal and

matriarchal state , in favour Of the latter Just as i n .
N ature it is the female who determines whom she will

permit to approach her as mate so in civilized communi ,
ties also it is the woman with whom the final decision rests ;
coercion very seldom takes place and seduction without ,
latent acquiescence is hardly p ossible Thi s is proved by .
the fact that no woman believes another was led astray

unle ss she really de sired it A t any rate today the 12
,
woman has freedom of Choice , and standing as she does

clo se to N ature and also o n account of her maternal in
,
stin ct sh e rarely makes a decision entirely fal s e from her

,
o wn standpoint Furthermore she is the born ruler for

.
, ,
one really does not govern other s by coercion but by sug ,
gestion ; and thi s is based on instinctive consideration for

others and thus presuppo ses a maternal feeling Thus it is .
j u st her pas sive mode of life that makes woman a p r edes

tined regent and this explains why mo st of the queens in
,
h i story were great queens This is one more rea son why .
the art of marriage seems inborn in most women Lastly .

,
marriage is a part o f their own urgent per sonal interest ,

.
By nature, the opposite is true of man He has no direct .
interest in marriage for he is seldom aware of his paternal

,
instinct and scarcely ever as early as when he usually mar

,
ries He represents the adventuresome and irresponsible

.
element in humanity and since there are lacking in him ,
j u st those motives which make woman a predestined artist

in this sphere he may be said to have no natural cap aC1ty
,
for marriage This is why marriage more frequently

.
In th i s
12
c o nn ec ti o n , it i s a st r i k i ng f a ct th a t M athi ld e v on K mn i tz ,
e
w ho i s a t p r es ent th e b e st a uth o r i t y on th e p y h l gy f
s c o o o w o men , h a s
a dv o c a te d th e p r ot ecti o n of y o uth s a g i
a ns t th e se d iv w i l uct e es o f w o ma n
a nd fin d s th e p i
r o t ec t o n O f gi r s l su p fl
er u o u s. S ee h e r E r oti s ch e Wi ed er
g eb ur t, Ver l ag
“
Die eH i mk eh r , ”
P a si ng v or Mii nch en .
harms a man s spirit and soul than it does a woman s ;
’ ’
unaware of what marriage signifies he does not rai se him,
self by its agency but deteriorates inasmuch as he identifies

,
himself more and more with such impulses as find in

marriage their natural gratification He al s o lets him .
self go ; that is to say he relapses to the condition of a

,
spoilt child ; whereas the whole significance o f marriage

is the maintenance o f a state o f tension Thus the prob .
lem of being married is by nature a masculine problem .
But as two persons are required for marriage the more ,
talented on e has the mi ssion o f teaching the other Here .

,
however no inherent instinct is of avail Besides on a

,
.
,
h igher plane o f consciousness the di ff erence between man

,
and woman in this respect is vanishing I f woman b e .
comes di fier entiated she loses proportionately so much

,
more o f her instinctive faculties t han he does that the

“ ”
problem o f being married is on a higher plane an
, ,
almost equally diffi cult art for both man and woman .
This state of a ff airs is the normal condition with all devel

oped people in the modern We st and soon it will become
,
so all over the world .
T H ERE F ORE let the final part f

this essay be devoted
o
to the art o f marriage as such apart from the par ,
ticul ar problems o f man and woman We will as far .

,
a s possible keep clear in doing so Of all fortuitous and

, , ,
casual conditions and only treat o f such a spects of the

,
question as are o f general significance A nd I shall only .
deal with the highest expression that marriage i s capable

of, because spiritual problems can only be s olved in thi s ,
their loftie st aspect .
RAN T ED that the ver y existence of marriage depends

G on a durable state of ten sion between two distinct
36 C O UN T H ERMAN N KEYSE RL I N G
pole s and that this state is by no means a matter o f course ;
,
t h en it follow s that the fundamental principle of the art

of marriage rests on the precept o f keeping an appropriate
”—
“
distance in fact the very opposite of that condition
,
whi ch lovers dream of as ideal The validity o f this

.
fundamental princ iple is indi sputable ; a relation that is

e ssentially contingent upon tension if it is not self—sus ,
taining can be maintained only by means of a consciously

,
practi sed reserve And t h is applies more e specially the

.
,
more intimate the relation on which th e state of ten sion

is based G oethe once expres sed himself s omewhat as
.
follow s : P eople wh o are very intimate must have secrets

to withhold fro m on e another because they are not secret s
,
to each other s e y es He meant exactly what h as been

’
.
more definitely formulated above M an and woman .
sh ould never endeavour to be completely merged in on e
another ; on the contrary the more intimate they are the

, ,
more strictl y should they cheri sh their own individuality ,
and it should be the unwritten law that neither must en

cr o a ch o n the right s of the other In the case of highly
.
di ff erentiated people conj ugal happiness wholly depends

,
on thi s sound principle o f keeping one s di stance ; and in ’
this respect a by no means unimportant art is to sense

,
the right time for separating for a short while But in .
reality this principle is equally valid everyw here Its .
application is Obvious as regards the maintenance and

preservation o f pa ssion ; in this ca se, if no restrictions are
impo sed allurements soon fade j ust as a loo se string
, ,
y ields no musical tone In thi s re spe ct the n ew fa shion

.
,
of cultivating the nude indicates the very opposite of a

demoralized state ; it may rather be said to cancel the
“ ”
result of the first fall and its ideal goal seems to be the
,
di spo sal of the problem Of love The same however .

, ,
a pplies to intellectual and spiritual interests and the more

,
C ORRE C T S TA T E M E N T OF MARR I AGE PRO B LE M 37
intimate the relation is the more the partners should culti
,
vate re serve O n this account at th e height o f French

.
,
“
culture husband and wife addressed one another as you
“ ”
and not by the familiar thou The in stinctive knowl
.
edge o f thi s requirement has led from the earliest time s

to the use of separate apartments for men and women .
For the same reason the separate life of each has been
,
made a taboo for the other party I instance thi s and .
the reverencing of the father as ab s olute master and the

mother as supreme goddess because by nature both man
,
and woman only too readily fail to hold that di stance

which alone can keep the marriage relation alive If this .
is essentially so and always was so then it will apply all ,
the more in the future as mankind continue s to develop

,
.
Consequently in the future marriage will po ssess this char

a cter i sti c o f reserve even more than it formerly did .
The second fundamental principle o f the art of mar

r iage requires that the state o f polar attraction should re st
on the proper recognition o f the qualities peculiar to the
two poles and their absolute equality of rights A s r e .
gards the latter p oint which is already implied in the

,
definition of marriage as a unitary field of force thi s ,
does not in any sense mean equalization A ristotle was .
right when he said that equality is the right relation among

equals and inequality among unequals O n account of .
the great primary di ff erences between man and woman ,
and the usual inequality in the development o f the part

ners as well a s the particular di ff erences which external
,
conditions and capacities give rise to the claim for equal ,
rights can only have one meaning : that each pla y s h is

corresponding part and that the o ne wh o is more advanced
,
should help the other forward It is di fficult to make .
generalizations here as in each case the solution of a

,
special concrete problem is called for ; and the only gen

38 C OU N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I NG
eral advice o n e may safely give is this : that every youth
and girl should be informed respecting the entirely differ
ent psy chology o f th e oppo site sex L et it then suffice .
13
to make this statement : Woman is by nature the r esp on

sible altruistic and working part of humanity This
, , .
truth which i s recognized by all savages cultured E urope

, ,
had very largely forgotten and only thanks to the ,
feminist movement is the nonsen se likely to cea se In a .
s en sible marriage as much re sponsibilit y as p os sible should
be allotted to the woman and not the contrary ; this is ,
the only real way to make her truly happy O n the other .
hand the entire value of the man s part consi sts in what
,
’
“ ”
he performs alone and thus outside the sphere of mar
,
r iage A movement toward a return to primitive condi

.
tions will therefore assist all parties to attain a higher

development S econdly it should be the man s self evi
.
’
,
-
dent dut y to nurture the woman s intellectual interests ’
and to raise her intellectual status or where this is not ,
pos sible to promote her mental development as much as

,
he can instead of checking it It has been as serted that

,
.
mental energy reacts on Women as a sex ual stimulus The .
truth o f the matter is that on account of woman s greater ’
proximity to N ature she yearns all the more ardently for

,
th e spiritual ; that is why she has always been the pioneer

of n ew religious movements M an can commit no greater .
folly than to keep woman in a state of cow—like animality .
In this respect nearly all the so-called good marriages

,
require reform ; for every marriage which degrades even

one of the partner s or keeps him from rising is bad
, ,
.
Th irdl y it should be the noblest duty o f every married

,
man wherever a ff ection exists between the couple to

, ,
awaken passion in the woman and to lead her accordingly .
13 T he b w ork s
est d li g w i h
ea n t th i s s u bj t
ec th at v
h a e so f a r a ea r e pp d
h
are t o se o f o u r tw o ll b
co a or ato r s , Ma th i ld
e von K emnitz a n d B eatr i c e
M Hinkl e
. .
sib i lity The marriage relation however, requires unity
.
, ,
which in this case is only p os sible on the basis of equality

o f birth and consciou s plane Con sequently the on e who
.
is further developed must continually strive to elevate

the other, if th e relation is not t o lose th e very significance
o f marriage N aturally I refer to the proper training
.
o f the other partner to independence o n a higher plane ,
which must not be confu sed with the cu stomary censorious

‘
“ ”
displays or scenes This real training can be accom
.
l i sh ed only by supreme tactfulne ss and respect for the

p
other s personality A t this point the digni ty of marriage
’
.
in comparison with all other pos sible relationships b e

come s patently manifest H ow absurd is the conception
.
that sees in marriage a haven or a legitimate opportunity

for letting oneself go whereas in reality it requires for
,
its very existence the continuous development o f both

parties ! Thus matrimonial p olarization is by nature both
intellectually and spiritually creative A nd thi s again .
benefits posterity for, as I have shown in my book Di e

, ,
n euentste h e nde We lt the i nner disposition o f the arents

, p
is not only transmitted by means o f psychic influences in
education but by the influence o f the milieu on the proto
,
plasm and embryo It is this third principle o f marriage

.
which gives the second its full significance The latter .
stipulates that the relation o f the two poles should be
based on the proper recognition o f the specific character

of each and their equality o f right s O nly that aspect Of .
the relation between the sexes can be taken as static which

applie s to the di ff eren ces in nature unchangeable by time ,
or evolution E verything beyond this is es sentially move

.
ment and flux E veryt hing beyond this already lies in the
.
“ ”
dimension of what I call realization of significance
_
,
who se normal path leads upward and not downward .
Here it becomes finally evident to what an extent the very

C ORRE C T S T A T E M E N T OF MARR I AGE PRO B LE M:
purpose Of marriage is misunderstood if one takes it to be
a realm o f sanctioned indolence The maj orit y of con
.
j ugal infelicities are principally attributable to t h is mis

conception Whatever he may think superficially man
.
,
can forgive himself everything except the sin of self

detention nor can he ever forgive another for checking
,
his highest a spirations ; whereas every one will accept in ,
his inmost being the most severe su ff ering if he feels

, ,
assured that it is necessary for his proper development .
For all these reas ons there is no better warrant for con
j ugal happiness than to observe the third principle strictly .
Now we are in a position to consider the fourth prin

cip le
. This requires that the marriage relation should in
every detail be self consistent L et us keep in mind that
-
.
the marriage relation is es sentially independent self ,
founded The communion it inspire s is neither identical

.
with sexual nor with s ocial ass ociation The only other.
generic term which corresponds with its nature is unity

of destiny If this particular relation is easy to realize
.
on a lower plane where woman s destiny corresponds

’
,
closely with the idea of propagation and man s individual ’
freedom of movement is not contested then j ust the con,
tr ar y is true of higher stages of development N othing ap .
pears more diffi cult than to achieve a synthesis by means Of

di ff erentiated entities a synthesis that has two integrated
,
persons as necessary component s O n the other hand it

.
,
is now p ossible to achieve a synthesi s only on the basis

of what mathematicians call the integral For the di ff er .
en tiated per s on the instincts o f love and propagation have
become independent forces His individualization does

.
not permit him any longer to renounce h is personality and ,
ethical refinement of feeling when present makes it im

, ,
pos sible for him to countenance the subj ugation of on e

partner by the other Under these conditions a durable
.
4 2 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
marriage relation between man and woman is only tenable
on a h igher plane in fact on the actual plane wh ich mar
,
r i age signifie s and only by means o f its purely inde

,
pendent character O f course from a theoretical stand

.
,
point it is also possible to find here complete contentment

in th e ot h er partner A nd since high er development
.
brings individualization in its train whereby it becomes ,
alway s more difficult to devi se a general form of grati

fication for particularized impul se s the problem o f the ,
right choice o f partners is the more acute and serious the ,
higher the stage of development O n the other hand, at .
“ ”
h igher stages o f development , equivocation is no longer
e ffective ; if a thing is not actually ideal it cannot hold its ,
po sition as such Consequently in principle the art o f

.
, ,
marriage may be said to amount to the following : that is ,
if millions are not to be condemned for the sake of a

s ingle exception M arriage thanks to this art can lead
.
, , ,
in spite o f its incomplete gratification of individual cr av

ings to the perfection of that specific form wh ich in every
,
case brings with it , for the individual irrespective o f the

conditions the desired beneficial result s But let us at
,
.
once warn the reader against a fatal mi sconception M ar .
r i age is not every man s vocation The more highly a

’
.
person is developed the more he must experience a real

,
calling for it The arti st who is entirely absorbed in his

.
wor k and the G od-seeker who lives completely for the

,
development o f his individual self are fit for marriage ,
as great exceptions only A nd it would be less to be

.
condemned if the former were to form a free liais on and ,
the latter to retire as a monk from the Obligations of

s ocial life than for both to contract worthle s s marriages .
,
O n account of the unique nature of the marriage relation ,
it will not tend more and more to become the only pos
sible relation between the sexes but on the contrary as , ,
evolution p roceeds it will always become less so
,
On .
the other hand in future always fewer people who could

,
legally marry will choose other forms of union The legal .
a spect which is to many so repulsive represents on e more

, ,
co o rdinate f or determining its cosmic centre and conse ,
quently implies in it self the fulfilment o f its purpose .
What is already es sentially marriage need not shrink from

the traditional form Furthermore it sh ould be remem
.
,
bered that marriage as an arti stic creation necessitates a

strict Observance Of the laws o f form O n the other hand .
,
the tendency will grow for only those men and women
to marry between wh om love ari ses as a consequence of ,
their relation s finding its best pos sible fulfilment in mar

’
r iage That this relation is the best under all p ossible

.
conditions is a prej udice which mu st at length also be

publicly dropped It has already been shown that in spite
.
o f the essential indissolubility O f the marriage relation ,
divorce is preferable to a bond which only stifles the two

persons tied by it S imilarly the disadvantages connected
.
,
with illicit unions are less than those of bad marriages if ,
only the participants sense o f resp onsibility is sufli ciently

’
well developed t o take all the consequences upon them ~
selves The claims o f birth control seem imperative here

. .
Unfortunately on account o f the tragic character of life

, ,
a solution of the problem that does not entail any dis

advantages at all is impossible A s it will never do to .
place illegitimate children on the same footing as legiti

mate or entirely to prevent the former from being born
, ,
the solution of the problem which the future will prob

ably arrive at will consist in the legal a ssumption that the
child lives entirely by his own right ; this would be quite
in keeping with N ature for as regards the child s origin
,
’
,
14In th i s c o n n ec ti o n, co m p a r e th e s ec ti on K y oto i n my T r a v el D i a r y
f
o i
a P h l os oph er .
44 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
the parents ar e merely agents Thi s course of evolution
.
i s all the more probable as life in an industrial era is in

many respects nomadic and must at first occa sion since it
, ,
lacks the inner sustentation o f a traditional faith a gen ,
eral loss o f prest ige for marriage and accordingly a de ,
crease in the number o f marriages contracted In so far .
a s marriage means the life form o f a past age it will

-
,
endure only inasmuch a s it corre sponds with man s eternal ’
wants as well as with his personal desires Consequently .
it is of the greatest importance to comprehend truly the

meaning o f matrimony and to establish this special rel a
,
tion in accordance with the fourth principle o f the art of

marriage on an entirely self-contained and independent
,
ba sis
.
It is evident that the more complex the conditions the ,
greater will be the demand for artistic handling The .
more talented the partners the greater the necessity for

,
tact and discretion if marriage is to run smoothly Thi s .
skill in adj ustment is an art in the same sense as that

,
whereby a poet selects special words to fit his metres and

discards others in order to attain a unity o f diction The .
more manifold a man s nature the greater will be his

’
,
desire for manifold relation ships Thi s the marriage .
bond must not hinder O n the other hand neither must

.
,
the latter be inj ured This dilemma in itself calls for

.
, ,
wisdom and art for its solution Here it is a question of

.
under standing and paying proper attention to deeply

rooted emotions and impulses primitive by nature but o n
, ,
this account all the more demoniacal First of all it is .
nece ssary to practi se silence and reticence Just a few .
obvious examples will suffice : If one partner speaks of

everything without reticence and shows his feelings with
o ut restriction to the other he is not open minded but -
, ,
ill bred and even barbaric The person who does some
-
.
thing that would cause another to su ff er if he or she b e ,
came aware o f it and has not even the courage to carry

,
his guilt alone deserves to be despised A ccording to an

,
.
old French custom a husband was required to leave the

,
r oom when his wife received a visit from another man .
This was an admirable way o f protecting marriage from

certain kinds o f conflict and misunderstanding E very .
on e is naturally j ealous o f the per son he loves ; women
even look upon it as an elementary form o f politeness that

their lovers should exhibit j ealousy To demand that a .
lover should be entirely free from j ealousy is therefore

simply brutal The possibility of its growing beyond con
.
trol must be guarded against ; this is exemplified by the

French custom cited above The precept regarding con
.
j ugal loyalty can be properly understood only from the

same p oint o f view The more gifted and developed a
.
man is the greater the variety of emotions he is capable

,
of feeling and the more numerous the persons and things

,
—
he has a right to come in contact with but on condition
that he does not I nj ure one at the expense o f the other .
How many women , however consider themselves free ,
from reproach if they can show that they have been true
to their husbands in the usual narrow sense o f the word !
Here clear and unprej udiced thought is required .
L oyalty respecting matters o f sex counts for much less as

regards the real significance o f marriage than does loyalty
in matters touching mutual destiny Whoever com .
promi ses the harmony O f the souls has already committed

a serious O ff ence Whoever destroys mutual de stiny f or
.
the sake o f some love —a fl air —whether , as a man he ,
deserts his wife or as a woman petitions for divorce on

, , ,
account of her hu sband s misdemeanour— uproots mar

’
r iage in a far worse sense than M essalina did wh o while

, ,
remaining empress and true consort of an emperor spent ,

her nights in brothels It is the particular form or con
.
tent O f marriage t h at counts and not primarily any on e ,
of its comp onents Thi s particular content should be

.
ever more clearly realized as consciousness develops as , ,
a form of life which exist s primarily in its own right .
Thus marriage progresses from a semi natural state which -

,
it originally was , ever more and more to a pure work of

art A nd it is continually demanding more o f those wh o
.
dare to approach it N ow we are in a position to deal

.
with Kierkegaard s do ctri ne ( I cite him because he hap

’
pens to be an extreme exp onent of the views in question ) ,

according to which marriage belongs exclusively to the
sphere o f ethics and at the same time transcends it
,
In .
fact the formative laws of marriage from an individual

,
standp oint are primarily ethical principles M arriage .
duties as far as the individual is concerned can only be

, ,
— “ ”
ba sed on a super empirical imperative and are not de
ducib le from any natural nece ssity or inclination For .
the erotic man or woman nothing exists beyond sexual ,
attraction ; for the aesthete a mere repetition is an ,
abomination A s such both are unfit t o comprehend the

.
,
maj esty invested in the commonplace The words loyalty .
and faithfulness are divested of meaning in their sphere .
A s an ethical being man introduces values into the world

,
which are valid only for his spiritual nature but which ,
correspond as closely and as necessarily to the latter as

natural laws do to N ature A nd this he is bound to do .
,
if he de sires to attain self realization But in this as in -

.
all other cases the ethical claims are the outcome o f the
,
minimum and not the maximum standard of the auton o

mous spirit Here as everywhere duty is merely a p r o
.
“ ”
j ecti on and consequently

,
a dead rule which man is called ,
upon to obey only until he is sufficiently developed

Spiritually to take the right course guided by inner neces ,
48 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
certainly displeasing to the vegetable and animal which
are parts of every man s character and abhorrent to h is
’
,
indolent and sentimental nature with its cowardliness and

fear of thinking P eople find it vexatious even scanda
.
,
lous that marriage is not an ideal in itself, and that all

,
the problems of life are not solved immediately two

lovers , or even two merely suitable persons find one ,
another It is al s o counted an o ff ence that the r ecogni

.
tion o f the ethical and religious —sacramental nature o f

marriage should not al s o legalize and sanctify the mean
ness and basenes s which are more widespread in it than
anywhere el se A ll t h i s does not help The true sign ifi

. .
c ance o f marriage does not allow itself to be disregarded .
Its true nature will always come further to the front and ,
if this does n ot manifest it self at first in the actual e stab

lishmen t o f a new and better order then it will do so ,
all the more clearly in the destruction of the irrational and

nonsensical From an empirical point of View marriage
.
,
is essentially a tragic state of tension Just for this reason.
it can realize the purpose o f life as a whole better than

any other form can do For the whole of life is nothing
.
else but a tragic state of tension ; and marriage embraces ,
as parts of its own constitution all the specialized form s

,
of tension found in life These range from the natural

.
right up to the spiritual But life is not a tragedy in the

.
last resort and for this reas on in spite of all its draw
, ,
backs it is beautiful ; and consequently where conj ugal

, ,
happiness is achieved it outweighs all possible sufier ing

,
.
A lthough the life of spiritually conscious and self govern -
ing man appears at first to comprise more su ff ering than

the instinctive stages of his development do yet on thi s ,
plane the tragic character of life can finally be overcome .
For it then plays the p art for man that a tuned in str u
ment does for a mu sician O ne can play only on tightened
.
C ORRE C T S T A T E M EN T OF MARR I AGE P RO B LE M 49
strings The fulfilment of that life which is the life o f
.
free, creative man is related to thes e problem s which ,
seem to contradict the idea o f a cosmic order ruled by
the spirit o f goodness and beauty much in the same way

,
as melody is related to the violin .

N I E U W E N H U I S
T he Gen es i s o f M a rri age
UC H an important feature of civilization as marriage

naturally po sse sse s a di ff erent character according to
the race age and country under consideration It is
, ,
.
,
however , found to exist among all peoples , and has since

the earl iest times constituted the legal bond between man
and woman Whereas it was formerly believed that a
.
pre-marriage period could be p roved in the case of some

Of the savage races extant today, this has now been
s hown to be a mistake S exual intercourse takes place
.
outside of marriage , an d the latter can be suspended and

cancelled ; but then the former is only permi ssible before
marriage unless it is a form o f degeneration or a part of
,
a religious cult .
In this introductory e ssay f or the sake of clarity, I will

,
term every form of durable and legitimate intercourse

between man and woman marriage , thus deviating some
what from Count K eyserling s definition In the course
’
.
of evolution the original form has only bec o me pur er .
Further, to illustrate the gene sis of marriage I will treat ,
of living primitive races as their condition reflects in

,
every way that o f the prehistoric ones by thi s means it

is possible to give a much more graphic description .
Lastly I will not deal with marriage alone but with

, ,
communal life as a whole beca use under p ri mitive con

,
diti on s this largely i nfluences marriage itself .
53
The investigator s oon r ecognizes that the manifold

p h enomena can be reduced to a few fundamental c oncep
tions A ll primitive peoples w hether t h ey re side in
.
,
America Africa , Asia or Au stralia , po sse ss similar ideas

, ,
concerning consanguinity or relationship which can be ac ,
counted for by one of three systems ; namely the matri ,
archal patriarchal and parental or cognate The investi

, ,
.
,
gator also finds that there are ever ywhere three motives
that lead to marriage : mutual sympathy the desire f or ,
progeny and the neces sity for mutual aid in the struggle
,
for existence However the gen er ic motive PlaY3 the

.
a
prominent pa rt , which is increased the more primitive the

conditions .
Consequently when discu ssing the genesi s of marriage

, ,
one must start out from the conception of relation ship .
An aversion to marrying clo se relatives, much a s it still

persi sts with us toda y is found to exi st among all races
,
.
O nly the conception of relation ship varie s greatly within

the above mentioned three systems The di ff erences ar e .
indeed so great that our ideas of blo od relation ship can -
be applied only with great caution to foreign races E ven .
expressions which have quite a definite meaning for us ,
such as father mother si ster brother signify for all the

, , , ,
M alay races for example that the men and women belong
, ,
to two consecutive generations A nd on this classification .
depends whether marriage is permis sible or n ot .
I n stead of further t h eorizing I will cite concrete ex ,
ampl es The be st place for studyi ng primitive condi

.
tion s is Australia For centuries the aborigines of that

.
continent have lived under various climatic conditions

and envir onment wit h out mixing with more highly
developed tribes Taken generally they have reached
.
,
that cultural level w h ich expre sse s it self in a nomadic life .
A lthough these conditions hold good throughout the con

tin en t o n e comes across a great va r iety of the simplest
,
56 A . w . N IE U W E N H U IS
t h ose of the three principal Au stralian races the Kur nai , ,
Dieri and Ar anta the marriage cu stom s are completely

, ,
di ff erent and repre sent three types which will be dealt

with here consecutively .
It is the custom in the Kur nai tribe which formerly 2

,
inhabited G ipp sland for young men and women o f mar ,
r iageab l e age to become acquainted at the times when all
the groups as semble together The young people are .
permitted free selection as the Kur n ai do not divide their ,
people into exogamic groups O n the other hand they .

,
h ave to make their choice within widely separated group s ,
a s those of the same river district are held to be too closely
related regardless of whether they are consanguineou s

,
or not To every district group three or four other spe

.
ci a l groups are assigned with whom its members may
intermarry Al l over Au stralia the young women b e

.
come members of their husbands group because the men ’

,
can thus more readily protect and feed their families in

their own districts The children in S outh Au stralian .
tribes receive the name of their father s group and remain ’
in the hunting—grounds allotted to it O nly the women .
who have come from outside the district group bear other
group names O n the husband s death one of his brothers
.
’
,
marries the wido w thus establishing a form Of levirate ,
marriage and consequently the Kur n ai have a patriarchal

,
system of relationship They still consider that all the .
men and women of the same generation are sisters and

brothers and this still further limit s the young people s
,
’
ch oice in marriage The old people and especially the .

,
women have a terrible memory for all the marriages ever

,
contracted so that the Kur n ai once found th emselves in

,
such a p o sition t h at hardl y any marriage was p o ssible on

“ ”
account of a too close relationship The only alterna .
2
d
A c co r i ng to A . W How itt s Nativ e
.
’
T r i b es o f S outh ea st A us tr a li a .
TH E GE NES I S OF MARR I AGE 57
tive was for the young couple s to elope The custom of .
seduction after an agreement h as been reached mu st be in ,
the ca se of the Kur n ai very ancient For s ome customs

,
.
have developed which openly promote seduction against

the will o f the parents Whether this custom can be taken
.
as explaining the fact that the betrothal o f quite young

childr en or even o f unborn girls is not prevalent among
the Kur n ai in spite o f its being the usual thing all over
,
Australia is still an open question

, ”
.
A s soon as the young people have become acquainted

with one another , they determine on marriage in a Char
a cter isti c way They ask each other questions regarding
.
mutual support in life, according to which the man

promises to do his share toward the maintenance of life
by hunting and the woman by gathering bulbs small
, ,
animals and insects When at a corrobori the young

,
.
women consider that the men do not pay sufli cient atten
tion to them , they take the initiative and form a closer
acquaintance according to their rude custom by com
, ,
mencing an a ff ray For this purp ose they kill some bird
.
,
the totem brother of the men , and by showing them thi s ,
awaken their lust f or vengeance T he r esult is that the .
young beauties are attacked with sticks and have to defend

themselves with their digging implements A furious .
exchange of blows takes place and blood flows freely O n ,

.
one Of the next days the young men kill a blue wren ;
“ ”
the girls in turn have to avenge their elder si ster and ,
a new a ff ray takes place While the wounds are healing .

,
many pairs have come to kno w each other and forthwith

elope A nother proof o f the antiquity o f this custom o f
.
circumventing marriage restrictions by means o f elope

ment is the fact that experienced medicine men often
openly promote these elopements by their magical incan
tati on s. An exorcism or adj uration o f this nature takes
58 A . w . N IE U W E N H U I S
place when a youth has succeeded in persuading a medi

c ine man by giving him present s e g skin s and weapons ,
. .
,
.
During the rites the medicine man together with the

, ,
youth and his friends lie down in a place near the en,
ca mp men t where all can see them and s ing magical songs
, ,
addre ssed to the girl I f she does not hear them her
.
self her friends see to it that she is promptly informed

,
.
These incantations have such an irresistible e ff ect on the

young women that many follo w the call at once , pack their
chattels , and run away with the youth as soon as he ap
pears O f on e medicine ma n the story goes that he had
.
,
b y means o f his incantations bewitched the parents dur ,
ing sleep and thus aided the flight o f the lovers A s the
,
.
parents married in the same fashion one would expect ,
them to show their children some leniency ; but this is not

the case E ven the old people o f the Kur n ai hold fast
.
to their tribal customs and this kind of tr an sgressmn 1s

,
strictly punished The parents also call the medicine

.
men to their assistance in order to discover the hiding

place o f th e fugitives If a couple succeed in hiding them
.
selves for a long time e g , until a child is born then their

,
. .
,
return causes no special excitement But if they are .
caught sooner both man and woman have to defend them

,
s elves against the armed attack of an enraged crowd .
O ften they are seriously wounded A fter this h owever .

, ,
the young couple are allowed to live together Thus with .
thi s principal tribe of the most primitive southea stern

Au stralians monogamic marriage is based on the mutual
,
a ff ection of the young people and the decision rests with ,
the woman .
In the marr i age customs described above we see certain ,
characteri stic features that have been acquired on account

of the i solation in which the Kur nai live The Dieri wh o .
,
inhabit central Australia and whom we will now consider ,

TH E GE N ES I S OF MARR I AGE 59
do not deviate so much in their customs from those o f the
other tribes O ccup y ing as nomads the territor y east of
.
Lake Eyre and living in the midst o f other tribes with

,
similar customs these aborigines were able to preserve

,
their marriage customs in a pure state The latter are .
distinguished by a two — class system , matriarchal relation

ship early betrothal and group marriage O f these cus
, ,
-
.
toms two may be taken as forming the basis o f marriage

,
common to all A ustralian aborigines with the exception o f

the Kur nai and alli ed tribes ; namely the formation of ,
two intermarriageable classes and the betrothal or en ,
g a g eme n t o f the girls The particular forms

. o f matri
archy and group marriage prevalent among the Dieri are

-
not so widespread From a human p oint o f view the

.
,
most remarkable feature o f these marriage customs is the

amount o f individual self— control expected First the .
,
desire n ot to contract marriages between people who are

too closely related has caused the whole tribe which is ,
composed of small independent , wandering groups to

, ,
split into two exogamic classes Kararu and M atieri The ,

.
young men are allowed to marry only a woman from the

other class than their own The s ame divisions exist among
.
related tribes but these bear other names In the case

,
.
of marriage by exchange , which somet imes occurs these ,
classes are regarded as equivalents by the other tribes .
Even when a man has won a woman by combat he can ,
marry her only if she belongs to a class considered mar

r i ageab le in his case Besides these restriction s there are
.
,
those o f real blood relationship O nly the grandchildren .
o f two pairs are allowed to marry where the men accord ,
ing to the prevalent custom have exchanged sisters in ,
marriage E ach class embraces a large number o f totem

.
groups but these do not exert any restrictive influence

, ,
as all members of the totem groups o f the Kararu are

permitted to marry with those of th e M atieri Paternal .
authority plays an important r Ole with the Dieri for the ,
cu stom o f betrothing a very young girl to a boy or Older

man who as a practiced h unter or chief or for some other
, ,
reason is a de sirable son in—law is generally in force

,
-
,
.
These engagements are arranged by the mothers It f r e .
quently occurs that a girl wh o has thus been betrothed

falls in love on reaching a marriageable age with some on e
, ,
el se and allows herself to be seduced The tribal customs .
are kept so strictly that the pair run the risk of being
caught and attacked with weapons, and thus many a young
life is lost The readine ss on the part of th e young men
.
and women to sacr ifice their own interest when it is a ques

tion of defending their marriage is among the maj ority ,
of th e Au stralian tribes, mo st exemplary If the engage .
ment matures in the ordinary way and leads to marriage ,
th e youth lead s the twelve or thirteen — year O ld girl with -

,
h er mother s con sent to his encampment

’
,
He is usually .
accompanied b y his own or class brothers He waits out .
side for h i s bride and then leads home the young woman ,
w h o generally onl y pretends to o ff er violent re si stance .
A fter sh e h as remained one or two nights with her escort ,
sh e is brought into the encampment o f her husband s ’
group As h is special wife she takes her part in provi

.
,
sioning h is group and according to the ideas of the D ieri

, ,
sh e mu st be loyal to him But this conception is very

.
di ff erent from ours ; it owes its particular character to what

is kno w n as group — marriage T h e latter de serve s special
.
mention here becau se formerly it was often described as

,
a state in which all the men and women o f a group

mixed promi scuously and wit h out restraint This chaotic .
c ondition w as even p ortrayed as the fir s t stage of marriage .
In realit y the facts are as follows : A married woman can ,
with the consent or at the desire o f her husband become ,

TH E GE NES I S OF MARR I AGE 61
the second wife o f another man belonging to an appro

r i ate group This happens most frequently where two
p .
brothers are married to tw o sisters or if a widower is able , ,
by giving him presents to persuade his brother to allow

,
him to contract a second marriage with his wife A chief .
or other prominent person is allowed to contract this form

of Pyr aur u marriage with several women if the husbands ,
consent But the tribe is informed o f each new relation

.
ship by means o f a festive as sembly of all the groups in

q uestion S
. ide marriages as may be
,
expected easily cause ,
j ealou sy and di scontent ; so the elders of the tribe try

to arrange that this kind of marriage is actually con
tracted with only the on e woman in question It is how .
,
ever a Sign of distinction for a man to stand in this rela

,
ti onship to several women o f his own or related groups .
According to this custom a P yr aur u husband is not allowed

to exerci se his rights when the real husband is present or
refuses his consent Herr O S iebert a missionary who
. .
,
“
lived among the D ieri for years writes as follows : These ,
P yr aur u marriage s are characterized as regards morals and

ceremony by a certain gravity and force Thus group .
marriage proves to be totally di ff erent from what it was

”
formerly taken to be The strictness with which these
.
marriage customs are adhered to largely on account of ,
the peaceful life that is led, is a safe guide for estimating

the aversion felt by the A ustralian aborigines to immor
ality The latter is n ot completely unknown to them ,
.
hut bef or e th e ar r i va l of E ur op ea n s i t on ly o ccur r ed a s an

exce ti on
p The children belong to the totem and mar
.
ri age group of the mother but the wife generally lives

,
with her husband s group so that the children learn the

’
,
speech of their father s group ’

.
The A randa or A runta situated north of Lake E yre

, ,
have a third system of marriage which is patriarchal In .

th e south the tribe is divided into four marriage classes ,
and in the north into eight The members of these marry .
only within their class Thu s the choice o f both the men .
and women is re stricted to on e quarter or one eighth o f

the opposite sex Of their tribe The children belong to .
the father s class A mong the Arunta also early b e

’
.
tr o th al s are found and these are arranged in accordance

,
with the patriarchal system by the fathers The result o f .
these paternal conferences which take place without any ,
fe stivity is told to the betrot h ed youth between his tenth

,
and twelfth year s and he is also informed that he must

,
wait to marry until his beard grows or even until the ,
first gray hairs appear in it The betrothal is then also .
made known to the other members o f the encampment .
N ow it becomes the yout h s duty to make small presents ’
-i
to h is future parents n law He gives his father
- -i n -
law .
weapons or game his mother in— law edible plants The

,
-
.
bride too when S h e grow s Older, makes presents to her

, ,
future parents —i n law O n the day of the marriage the

-
.
,
men a ssemble with the bridegroom who is clad in festive ,
apparel in their mid st in the single men s encampment

, ,
’
.
In the meantime the women have also a ssembled in their

encampment where the bride sits weeping on her mother s
,
’
knee S he is adorned with a wreath and black and red

.
s tripes Then the bride s brother accompanied by the ’

,
.
bridegroom and some of the other men go to the women s ,

’
encampment While the escort wait s close by the bride

.
,
groom goes straight up to his future mother in —law and -

,
seizing h i s bride by the arm s ays to the mother :

“
G ive me ,
”
your daughter to wife ! The bride simulates re si stance
and clings to her mother ; the latter ri ses and places her
-i n
daughter s arm in her son ’
law s hand which he then - ’
,
tightly Clasp s This is the manner in which the marriage

.
is contracted The husband then goes out hunting with

.
64 “
A . w . N I E U W E N H U IS
th er e i s th e v er y c ur i o us fact th at th e c entr a l Austr a li an

a b or igi n es f ai l t o un d er sta n d th a t p r egn ancy i s th e r esult
o
f s exua l This failure
inter c our se to recognize
. the rela
ti on sh ip between coitu s and pregnancy is vouched for by
such excellent Observers as S pencer G illen and S trehlow , , ,
and is also met with in other districts The aborigines .
imagine that a woman becomes pregnant by the soul of a

dead member of a totem entering into her In every .
migratory territory special rocks caves very o ld trees or , , ,
other striking Obj ects are suppo sed to be the dwelling

,
places Of the departed sp i r 1ts These places are avoided .
by women who wi sh to e scape pregnan cy This explains .
the striking fact that a child need not belong to the totem
group of i ts parents but to that o f the migratory territory
where the woman first became aware of her pregnancy .
This generall y happens in the father s group where she ’
lives but during the great tribal assemblies it may al so

,
occur in the di strict belonging to another totem Thus .
there i s an actual case where the father belongs to the

small falcon totem his first wife to the rat her daughter to
, ,
some variety Of caterpillar his second barren wife to the ,
kangaroo his third wife to the lizard and her two

,
daughters to the emu and water totems N aturally the .
totem has n o e ff ect on marriage in this case— sexual inter

course before or outside marriage is only permitted during
r eligious ceremonies ; otherwi se it is adj udged wrong and
puni shed M atrimony i s usually an association of long

.
duration , with strict compliance to the marriage laws .
us now turn our attention to marriage customs that

xi st at higher stages of culture e g as found among ,
. .
,
settled agricultural tribes The conditions here are en .
tir ely di ff erent A difli culty that ari ses in this connection
.
is that tribes which do not actually live in inaccessible

TH E GE N ES 1S OF MARR I AGE 65
deserts are Often liable to acquire the customs prevalent

among neighbouring higher forms of culture We need .
only refer to the propagation of Hinduism Christianity , ,
and M ohammedanism and their influence on marriage in

stituti on s . Consequently the study o f two M alay hill
—
tribes in S umatra the Batak o f nor th and the M in an gk a ,
bau of central S umatra— is particularly in structive Both

,
.
have been influenced in turn by India directly and indi , ,
r ectly vi a Java ; they have acquired Hindu and M o slem
culture But their p ublic institutions , especially tho se

.
relating to marriage have remained so untouched that

,
the original M alay customs are easily discernible .
Al though these tribes are on a much higher level o f

culture than the Australian aborigines we find both patri ,
archal and matriarchal systems in existence , a proof to

what an extent these correspond with the necessitie s and
ideas o f Simple communal life Here h owever wealth .
, ,
is a determining social factor This is especially the case

.
in the marriage customs o f the M inangkabau M alays as ,
compared with the unpropertied migratory A ustralian ,
aborigines Property also plays an important part with

.
the Batak In the case of both tribes the family is a large

.
genealogical unit where all live together and share a con

,
si der ab l e family property in common But the members .
are only permitted t o participate not to own for them ,
selves Their tribal and marriage laws are so framed that

.
they not only do n ot permit a diminution o f this property ,
but wherever p ossible foster an increase The families .
are strictly exogamic and any transgression in this respect

,
is looked upon as criminal caus i ng the wrath o f gods and

,
spirits to descend on the whole tr ibe M alay marriages .
taking place among the M in angka are di stinguished by

the fact that they ar e more in the interest of the family
than of the individual s This applies especially to the
.
first marriage which takes place between girls of twelve to

,
t h irteen years and boys o f fourteen to sixteen years The .
M alay families o f central S umatra con si st o f all persons

wh o are descended on the female side from the same
mother of the family ; for example two grandmothers ,
and their brothers three mothers and their brothers ( all

,
being children of the two grandmothers ) and all their ,
children They all live either in the same house or in two

.
separate houses situated on the s ame plot of ground when ,
the family has become too numerous to supply every

woman with a separate room for her family The .
grown up and married men do not sleep in the family

-
house but in the sleeping-compound o r with their wives

,
.
Al l members have a voice in family a ff airs The oldest .
and mo st trustworthy man becomes the head H e looks .
after the property is the bearer o f all titles and distin c

,
tions and represents the Bua parui ( coming from one

,
body ) for th e other families some of w h ich form a higher

,
exogamic unit the S uku The M inangka tribe has about

,
.
thirty o f these S uku; each bearing a separate name scat ,
ter ed all Over the country .
The motive for marriage among these young M alays

o f the hills is mutual a ffection which often la sts until ,
death the desire to have children o f which the M alays

, ,
are especially fond and lastly the advantages derived

,
from an association with another family o f high standing .
It will be readily understood that the young pairs have

les s voice in the matter than the parents whose main con ,
s ideration is the family interest and e specially that o f the

,
woman s This is natural , as the young wife remains in

’
.
her own family The husband also remains with his

.
famil y but the children are born in their mother s family

,
’
and are maintained and reared by it Consequently it is .
the girl s family council that takes the initiative and

’
TH E GEN ES I S OF MARR I AGE 67
seeks for a suitable hu sband among the young or older

men if these pos sess special qualifications or riches The
,
.
girl s Opinion is not asked Besides the member s of the

’
.
same family and the S uku persons belonging to families

,
whi ch have intermarried are al s o considered exogamic in ,
spite of there being n o consanguinity .
If the proposal made by th e family of the young man

is accepted, the engagement follows soon after in the girl s ’
house but without her being present The young man

,
.
o ff ers small gifts and receives similar ones for himself

and his family as a sign of friendship between the parties .
During the engagement which can last two years the pair
, ,
are not allowed to see or speak with one another M ar .
r iage is performed in accordance with M ohammedan rites ;
that is between the Wali of the bride and the bridegroom ;

,
generally a M ohammedan priest officiates and witnesses ,
are present The legal rights in connection with this type

.
of marriage are based on the matriarchal principle The .
woman is given a room in her maternal family house , also

a p art o f the general h ousehold furniture , and whatever
else she may require for the maintenance o f herself and her
children A dowry is not given O nly b y way of an ex
. .
cep ti on does the husband live in his wife s house In the ’

.
beginning and also later on even if as a personage of

,
reputation he should have several wives he only occa ,
si onall
y s pends a night with his wife helps her in agri ,
cultural pursuits and also gives her some wearing—apparel

,
.
As his property and his own personal profit belong to the

family he can only do this with the consent o f the head
,
of the family L ater on his relation to his Chil

,
dren is similar to this A distinguishing feature of the

.
matriarchal system is the right of inheritance according ,
to which the children inherit from their mother but not ,
from their father The latter s property is allotted to the

.
’
children o f his si ster ; this also applies to his h er editar yfi

i
Offices and titles .
A ccording to the po sition and wealth o f the families in

q uestion marriage takes place with either s imple or costly
,
festivities in which many families take part and an

,
tensive ceremony is employed A n important part O f .
latter comes when the young pair take food toget h er .
is especially significant in the first marriage These .
unions however are very often annulled as the y

, , ,
people scarcely had a voice in the matter .
If we now consider marriage under a patriarchal

of relationship , such as exist s among the Batak of n
Sumatra it will become evident that to look at
,
from the standpoint o f the legal

tain too narrow a view The laws underlying a patriarchal .
marriage of thi s sort strike us as p ointing to the complete

dependence of the woman wh o is sold to her husband and ,
his family This does not however corre spond with the
.
, ,
Indonesian character ; consequently a young girl even

among the Batak has practically a voice in the choice of
“
her partner The youth first attempts to make sure of
.
the girl s a ff ection ; in fact as a general rule the young

’
,
people who are permitted very free intercourse before

,
marriage are first formally engaged by exchanging love

,
tokens before the bridegroom sends his relatives to the

bride s father to bargain about the purchase money N at
’
.
e
ur all y cases often arise especially if the man is Old but ,
ri ch where the girl s relatives try to force her against her

,
’
will and a ff ection to marry for the sake o f the large sum
obtained as purchase money but often the girl has still ,
a way of e scape by means of the A dat that is customary , ,
law If she is in pos session of a love token she can run

.
,
to the donor who is then forced to accept her and his

, ,
relatives will have to see how they can come to an agree

TH E GE NE S I S OF MARR I AGE 69
ment with the Owner o f the girl regarding the purchase

”
money The seductions that so frequently take place
.
3
with the consent o f the woman a method which h as b e ,
come sanctioned by cu stom show that the Batak women ,
are purchased by their husbands for a price but mostl y ,
not against their will S omething similar might be said .
o f the woman s p osition in marriage , but before going into

’
this we shall give a short account of legal rights under a

,
patriarchal system M arriage among the Batak is largely

.
influenced by their patriarchal conception o f consanguin

ity Their families are compo sed of the male descendant s
.
of the same father of the family in the male line to ,
gether with their wives and sisters if the latter are still ,
unmarried For the women j oin the husband s family on

.
’
marriage The latter also p osses ses common property and

.
lives in one house It repre sent s the interests o f its mem

.
bers and both pays and receives bridal sums for the young
women The Batak family is strictly exogamic, and this
.
is extended to a number of other families which to ,
gether form a M arga A n exogamic transgression is .
looked upon as incest and the perpetrators were formerly

,
killed and then eaten .
A large number o f such M argas live spread over dif

f erent districts The chief alwa ys comes from the highe st
.
M arga and selects his wife from the second M arga which ,
directly follows his in rank ; the men belonging to thi s

M arga marry women o f certain of the lower branches
of the highest M arga By preference they keep to the .
rule of marrying the daughter o f their mother s brother ’

,
whereas to marry the daughter o f their father s brother ’
is to commit incest When a young man marries he does

.
not leave his parents hou se but receives a special room

’
,
.
3 A S ch r ei
. b D i e B a tta s i n i hr em Ver ha ltni s
er , zu d en M a la i en . U eb er
S uma tr a zm a llg emei n en .
The bridal sum ( dyud j ur an ) varies between fifty and five

'
hundred fl or in s ( one fl or in 5 0 cents U It must be .
paid before the completion Of the marriage formalities .
It is however considered good form and a Sign of friend

, ,
l iness between the families if the pay ment is not made in

a lump sum but by in stalments Wh en the sum has been
,
.
paid up in full the parents lose all influence over their

,
daughter s lot That the Batak actually look upon women

’
.
as purchased goods is evident from their designation of

them : goods , human being means a way of obtaining , ,
food a food ladler A woman eats only after the men

,
.
have done so “
A woman has no private property among
.
the Batak and is without legal rights S he is not looked .
upon as a per s on not as an end in herself but merely as a

, ,
thing S he is always another s property whether her

.
’
,
father s or brother s before marriage or her husband s

’ ’
,
’
when he has bought her or of his heirs at death whether , ,
these be brothers or sons ( S chreiber )

”
.
The right of inheritance corresponds with this in every

way O nly the male agnates or descendants have the
.
right to claim a share of the heritage o f the dead man .
The wife inherit s nothing A nd as she p ossesses noth .
ing she cannot bequeath anything The first heirs are

,
.
the sons or grandsons ; if such are non existent then the -

,
brother s or their sons The household furniture is not di.
vi ded as long as there are any unmarried sons left When .
distribution takes place the eldest and the youngest sons

receive more than the rest Unmarried sisters remain .
with their brothers who support them and who to cover

, ,
t h is outlay receive the bridal sums of their other sisters .
The widow according to levirate custom i s given Over to

, ,
her husband s brother or some other blood relative Her

’
.
children belong exclusively to her husband s family ’

.
Under this patriarchal system divorce is impossible ,

.
2 A W N IE U W E N H U I S
7 . .
general that is the case all over India and even applies to
th e matriarchal M inangkabau If she has children the .
,
wife occupies an imp ortant po s1t i on in th e family and also ,
as a widow, f or then her sons can intercede for her .
conceptions of consanguinity which we have dis

H
B cussed can develop into the parental or cognate sys
OT
tems the latter being prevalent with us In parental

,
.
marriage the father and mother have equal rights and ,
the children are related to both families and are the heirs
o f both parent s Where the M alays come into close con
.
tact with foreigners and mixing with them gradually lo se

,
their original institution s as for example on the east ,
coast , the parental idea o f consanguinity appears and i s al s o

applied to marriage The M alays having al s o embraced .
th e faith Of I slam , their family rights and relation s can

not be considered a s appropriate types of communal life
and their marriage on a cognate ba sis It is quite an .
other matter h owever with the Daj ak and Toradj a M a

, ,
lays of central Borneo and Celebes Their original form .
of culture for a reason that has not yet been discovered

, ,
already embodies a cognate system Of marriage A n idea .
of the marriage customs of the Daj aks may be obtained

from the author s Quer dur ch B or neo which was the r e
’
,
sult Of observations made during a stay of five

y ears in
their midst This long standing intimacy with this primi
.
-
tive people enabled him to become acquainted with some

aspects Of their love and marriage -life which do not so
readily come to the fore elsewhere .
P ub ty er si gn i fi s f or b th
e
g o th e y oun D j k
a a m en an d w omen
[h s y !
e a s a co e e e omp l t r v l uti
on o f th ei r p er son a i t l y T yb
. he e in
g
to a
p y m o r e a tten ti o n to th ei r r ess a n d th ei r o u tw a r adpp ea r an c e d
in gen er a l y l
T h e oun g gi r s pu out th e h ai r f r om all o er
. ll v
th ei r b dio es ex c e
pti n
g th a t gr ow i n g on their h ea ds ; w hi le the
T HE GENES I S OF MARR I AGE 73
y oun g men r emo v yl
hes an d e e r o w s a n d th e scan t hai r s
e e e as yb y
f r om th ei r ear
g b
o eth er w i th th e ds T ph si c a c h an ges that
. y l
k
ta e p a c e i n l b
oth m en a n d w o m en , th er e i s a
g r o w in
g esi r e to d
p l
ea se the o th er sex T h e f a sh i on i n
g of
g i f ts o cc upi es a
. ar e
g l
p or ti on o f th ei r f r ee t i me T h e
g i r s ma e
p ea r n ec a c es, . l k l kl
dbl
sw or - e ts, a n d a o r n men ts f o r sw or d sc a ar s T h e m en d bb d .
g i v
e i n r etur n ne c ar e a m oofi ly esse s, fl ut es, oa r s, v d b
ni f e b v l k
ha n es, etcdl T b
hus o th pa r ti es ha e a n a mp e c h an c e, i n th ei r
. v l
d l v
esi r e f o r o e, to fin d ex r essi on i n a r t
p .
y l
T he oun g p eop e h a e e er oppo r tun i t o f getti n g to n o w v v y y k
eac h o th er b
e f or e m a r r i a e a n d to
g p u t th emse es r o er
p p to th e lv ly
test . T y
h e do this a ll th e mo r e r ea i d ly b
ec a u se m ar r i a e IS
g
l k d up n s a s r i us m tt r d m n d in g l y l ty n b th si d s
oo e o a e o a e e a o a o o e .
B f or e m r r i g b th s x s h v f ull f
e a a e o d m t g sf r s
e e a e r ee o o o a a a
th y c he s P r nts try f m tim t tim t in flu n c th ir

oo e. a e ro e o e o e e e
c hi l d r n b ut usu lly w i th p r r sul ts

e ,
a If th y un g p pl oo e . e o eo e
t k
a f n cy t
e a a n n th r c u st m
o o e a
p r m i ts th m t
o e i n d ul
, g i n o e e o e
a n un i n t up t d c m mun i n
er r e Th o f v ur i te p sti m o is t
. e a o a e o
r
a ra n
g fi seh i n -
g p r ti s B f r a th f e d i n
g
. w y f
e o e th m i ld e a a a o e
tr pi c l n i ght w h n th
o a , l ight f th m n is j ust suffic i n t t
e e o e oo e o
ro b th n i ght f i ts d k str n g n ss th y uth puts n h i s b st

e o ar a e e ,
e o o e
a
pp r l :
a e b r o d
a b l u l i n
a -c l th n d e v r i o
g t d s i lk h o d -c l th a a a e a e ea o .
B l c k r ml ts an d tu f ts f sc n t d gr ss r Sp c i l r n m n ts
a a e o e e a a e e a o a e
w hich h fi x s t his e ems n d h d o His fi n st sw r d is t his

ar a ea . e o a
si d e, O f t n d r n ed w ith gi f ts f r m his b l v d Thus w ith

e a o o e o e .
,
fishin g-n t n d o s th y uth h u r i s d w n t th r i v r n d

e a ar ,
e o r e o o e e a
w ith p w r f ul st k s s n b in gs th b t t th pl c w h r
o e ro e oo r e oa o e a e e e
sh i s w i tin g
e a T h gi r l w h i s d r ss d in th s m m nn er
. e , o e e e a e a ,
g t
es i n t th o b t w i t
eh h r oa a l m s b w l w ll fill de n d si ts i n th - o e e a e
st r n
e st , r in
g w
ee i t h n o r T h y u n g m n st n d s r
a a . dy t e o a a ea o
th w his n t n d p p l s th b t w ith p ow f u l str k s t th

ro e a ro e e oa er o e o e
p l c a e w h r h e i m
e e
g i n s fi s h r l iak ly t b
e m st p l n ti f ul
a e e o e o e .
Thus th p ir m ve d w n th r i v er n d i f th c tc h p v s suffi
e a o o e ,
a e a ro e
ci n t f r a m
e o l th y l n d U su lly n mpty b ut in th r ic
ea ,
e a . a a e e e
fi lds r n i n tim t sp t b en e th th tr s n th r i v
e o a a e o b n k is a e ee o e er a
th i r fi n l
e l a T h e so f t t n s o f th fl ut p l y d w i th th e e e a e e
g oa . o
n so e a dd sp c i l c h r m
a e f r i n th e si l n c
a a f th n i ght th s
, o e e o e e e
w i l in g b ut l v ly n t s a w k n s n s ti on s t w h i h th t n d r
a o e o e a e e a o c e e e
spi r it f th K j an i s v y su sc pti b l
o e a In tim s w h n th
er e e . e e e
n ei ghour h oo d is unsa f e on a cc oun t o f w an d er i n

g h osti l e b an ds ,
f r i en d s k p w t h by n ight i n th v ic in ity f th l v r s
ee a c e o e o e .
W k in g t g th r in th fi lds l s gi v s th y ung p pl
or o e e e e a o e e o eo e
a g d
oo pp t un i t
oy f b or
c m i n
g c
q u i
o n t d w i th n
e o n t h r a a e o e a o e ,
e sp c i lly i f th
e a
p r n ts g e t thi s e a e O th r w i s th f r ti tu d
a re o . e e e o e
o f th l v r s i s f t n put t a s v er t st
e o e o e I nc bs rv d h w
o e e e . o e o e e o
a b utif u l y ung gi r l w i th g
ea o t w ill -p w er b r u ght h m r ea o o o e a
l v r w h w s nythin g b ut w l c m t h r p r ts b c us h
o e o a a e o e o e a en e a e e
co u ld n ot d h vy w k i n th fi ld s n d w s n t y t b l t
o ea or e e a a o e a e o
b ui ld b o ts E ven f t r th m r i g w hi ch r quir d gr t
a . a e e ar a e, e e a ea
d l f en r gy th y un g husb n d h d v ry g t t ub l in fin d
ea o e ,
e o a a e r ea ro e
i g hi s p l
n i n th h us ac e f h i s p r n ts-in -l w
e o e oWh n m i g a e a . e ar r a e
i s b in g c n t mpl t d th p r n ts f r m b th si d s m t n d di s
e o e a e ,
e a e o o e ee a
c uss th e d w ry nd
p u
o rch s m n y th t th y un g m n must
a a e o e a e o a
p y a h i s p r n ts-in -l w a e If th p r n ts r n l n g r l i v th y
a . e a e a e o o e a e e
a er r p s n t d by r l ti v s
e re e e r b y th c hi f
e a Th e m un t th t
o e e . e a o a
th y u n g l v r h s t p y i s usu lly n t g
e o o e a o t ; th p
a n ts i n l w a o r ea e ar e - - a
r n r lly s ti sfi d w i th n w d d O th th r
a e
g e e a as r e n
g g n no e o a a o . e o e
h n d r i c h c hi f s h v t p y as muc h s th
a ,
e a e hun d d d ll r s
o a a r ee re o a .
I t i s th ught d si b l th t b th p ti s sh u ld b l g t th s m
o e ra e a o ar e o e on o e a e
C l ss
a C h i f s l s th ir pr sti g i f th y m ry r d i n ry w m n
. e o e e e e e ar o a o e ,
a n d th ir c hi ld en h v e l i ttl ch
re c f suc c d in g th m
a e Am ng an e o ee e . o
th K j n -D j ks f c n tr l B r n
e a a a a o m t h s b tw n n t n ly
e a o eo , a c e e ee o o
cl s o e b l d r l ti v es b ut al s b tw n r l ti v s by m r i g r
oo e a o e ee e a e a r a e a e
f rbid d n
o M i g b tw n n ighb ur in g b ut n t r l t d
e . arr a e e ee e o o e a e
t ib s i s n t p r hi b i t d b ut i t
r e o o cu s s e r r ly th t
,
f r mploc r o a e a , o ex a e,
th e T m n-D j k n d K j n -D j k h v l i v d o v r hun d r d
a a a a a a a a a a e e e a e
y rs c l s t one n th r w ith ut mi in g Th y
ea o e o a o e l ut o x . e are e e er o
g am i c T h r
. e r e s o m e n y r s t
a r i c ti n s r g r d i n g m a ri
g e o e a ar a e,
sp c i lly f m th w dd i g up t th n xt N w Y r s f st
’
e e a ro e e n o e e e ea ea ,
th t th K j n m r ry by p
a e a a f n ce Sh
a tly b f r th N w Y re er e r or e o e e e ea ,
in d r t v i d this unpl s n t p i d T h d in y D j k
or e o a o ea a er o . e or ar a a
w dd in g i s v y S i mpl
e T h ch i f s r r n ge b i g f sts w h n
er e. e e a a ea e
th i r c hi ld r n m rry w h i c h c n l st f r tw
e e a ,
r th r d ys n da a o o o ee a ,
a
i n w hi c h ll th n t b i l i ti s f th v i ll g t k p r t
a e o a e Th o e a e a e a . e
w dd i n g t k s pl c i n th b i d s h us w hi th r th b r i d gr o m
’
e a e a e e r e o e, e e e o
i s sc t d b y h is f i n d s
e or e A ll th h us h ld f u n i tur is t k n
r e . e o e o r e a e
ut f th
o t m n ts
e a w h i har th n d c
e t d w i th gr
c n nd
ar e e e or a e ee a
o p ,
c l ou r d f b i c s
o e n d th a w ll s
r ,
a hun g w i th l l th gi f ts th t
e a ar e a e a
th b
e ri d s p r n ts p e
’
r s n t to
a e th i r s n -i n -l w s sc t T he
e e e o a
’
e or .
T HE GE N E S I S OF MARR I AGE 75
d v l k
f r i en s h a e a so th e r i gh t to ta e h o me w ith them all th e go o d
thin gs tha t th e c hi ef s h ospi ta i t
’
l y
a n d th e c o n tr i uti on s o f th e b
v ll
i a ger s O fi er th em ea r s
p .a a P l ly
p r o m i n en t
p a r t a mo n
g the
g i f ts w hi c h th e ri e an d b dr i e r o om
g b d
g i v
e o n e a n o th er , a n d thi s
l l
a so app i es t o th e m em er s o f th e f a mi b ly
Fi r st o f a l l th e r i e
. b d
v
r ec ei es f r o m th e r i e r oo m a
g b d “
dl ”
gi r e f or th e w i f e w hi c h c o n
si sts o f a st r i n g o f f o u r o l d p ea r s l
A t th e c o m mon m ea sh e
. l
fi dn s tw o mo r e p ea r s i n h er r i c e, l b d
esi es w hi c h sh e r ec ei es on e v
v yer fin e p ear l l v
T h e r e a ti es a n d f r i en s gi e h er a str in g o f
. d v
p l
ear s th a t h a s to b e a s o n g a s sh e i s ta l ,
a n d th e ll
a u e o f th ese v l
d d
i s epen en t o n th e w ea th o f th e on o r s l d .
T h e househo ld
i s man a ge d by
th e str on ger c h ar a c ter A .
b r ea c h o f l kd
f a ith , w hi ch i s oo e upon a s a mis f o r tun e to the
en ti r e f a mi , ly
i s str i c t ly d
pu n i sh e , b ut i t seems r a r e to o c c ur ly .
l k
T he on e a t f au t h as to m a e a ton em en t to th e o th er s f a mi
’
ly .
If h e o r sh e c a nn ot meet hi s o i ga ti o n s, h e i s a ssi ste bl d by

his r e a ti es l v In mar r i a ge th e esta tes a r e ept separ a te
. T he k .
mother a n d f a ther to geth er a tten to th e m ai n t en a n c e o f thei r d

c hi ld
r en B ut on c e th ese a r e gr ow n u p , th e r emai n i n thei r
. y
p
’
a r en ts h ou se , b u t p an t th eir ow n r i c e l e s w i th th e h e
p fi ld
o f l
l
ma e a n d f em a e f r i en s l d
Fo r ei gn a r ti c es o f uti i t , suc h as
. l l y
l
sa t, c otton , a n d to a c c o , ar e o f ten b o u ht o n a
g b
o i n t a cc oun t j .
Fr om thi s sto r e ea c h c an a c qui r e a por ti on c o r r esp on in g w i th d

d v
h is n ee s, th e f a th er h a in g th e ec isi e oi c e i n th e ma tter d v v .
Man an d w i f e do n ot i n her it f r o m on e an other If the ma r r iage .
y
i s w i thout issue, the pr oper t o f th e ec ease r etur n s t o th e f a mi d d ly .
If the par tn er s a gr ee to sepa r ate w ith goo w i , then o n i or c e d ll dv

ea c h r et ai n s h i s
p er so n a
p r op er t l y
T h e c h i r en a r e a o w e to
. ld ll d
d d ec i e f o r th emse lv
es w ith w hi ch
p a r en t th e w i r em a i n y ll .
W IT H this I will finish my sketch Of the genesis

marriage I need not go into further details as
.
,
O f
the examples Chosen are intended to serve only as symbol s .
What is then the result of our glance into the primeval

age of man ? Th at th e ess en tial r elati ons h a v e fr om th e
ver y ear li est ti mes b een th e sam e as ar e f ound a mong
hi gh ly cultur ed p e op l es of to day E ven in the mo st primi .
tive ages , marriages in the highest significance O f the word

7 6 A . w . N IE U W E N H U I S
occur I mmoral conditions are most rarely found among

.
primitive peoples Consequently marriage can never be

.
looked upon as a mere convention In it eternal and uni

.
versal validity finds its appropriate expression I nasmuch.
a s the modern world mi sunder stands this , let it go to the
so-called primitive p eoples to le arn .

L E O F R O B E N I U S
M a r ri a ge an d M a t ri a r c h y
NE o f the mo st curious legends that have come down

0 to us from very ancient times describes the earliest
sex relations o f mankind and states that in the beginning
men and women lived separately and knew nothing O f
each other The legend continues to relate that at the
.
first accidental meeting of members o f these two s exe s ,
the women defended them selve s like men in battle so that ,
it came to a deci sive combat ; and only then did the di fl er

ence in sex become apparent Thes e legends come from
.
northwest A frica and in a variety of forms travel eastward

right down to the P acific where on account o f the exi st
,
ence of numerous islands a favourite ver sion tells o f a

certain island where only women dwelt but which o n e ,
day was di scovered by a man The se stories belong to

.
the group of A mazonian legends The legend finds its .
way into the M editerranean both by way of the A frican

,
and Asian coa st s in the s hape o f stories o f wandering

,
Amazonian armies of the wars they waged against other

,
peoples and o f peculiar female typ es J J B ach o f en

, . . .
was the first to handle thi s material with regard to its

s ociological significance The various forms Of this leg
.
end which described a rulership o f women either in a

,
pa st age or in a di stant part of the world led him to make ,
his great discovery o f matriarchy B ach o f en states t h at

.
there were people living before cla ssical antiquity under

th e rulership o f women Th is did not suffice f or him
. .
77
78 LEO F RO B EN I U S
He wished to prove from these legendary fragments and '
other data that the position o f the two sexes had Changed
during the evolution of culture and he made of the ma
,
ter ial acces sible to him a ladder to reach his goal Ac .
cording to him the lowest stage was a form o f hetairism

,
in which all the women were held in common The mid .
dle stage was matriarchy, the rulership o f woman over

man the prerogative of woman The third stage was
,
.
patriarchy, the prerogative o f man The di scovery Of .
matriarchy was an imp ortant and decisive event ; it gave

rise to an extensive literature and became the saving grace
and sole outlook of many wh o were not in a position to
recognize the natural limitations o f B ach of en s data and ’
the error underlying his schematic system O f a regular se

quen ce o f stages .
For his historical survey o f matriarchy and marriage

customs B ach of en had at his dispo sal only the most frag
mentary material of antiquity relating to the period ,
before it to work on He had no conception o f the im

,
.
mense insight into these matters that folklore which was ,
still dormant at the time, could o ff er by considering fact s

taken directly from life Thus he made the mi stake of
.
not recognizing the patriarchal conditions under which

Achaeans and D orians lived It was this patriarchy which
.
influenced the higher M editerranean cultures ; this dis

proves the contention that matriar chy corresponds with
lower and patriarchy with more highly developed peoples
and cultural groups .
N everthele ss we must not forget that it was B ach of en

who revealed this great monument in the hi story of sex
relations and marriage But to comprehend fully the r e
.
lationship between marriage and matriarchy we shall have ,
to consider both patriarchal and matriarchal social and

communal form s extant today .
80 L EO F RO B EN I U S
belongi ng to the clan does not depend on some fixed con
s tant , but on the vagarie s of life .
I said : The family dies O ff at the top and grows anew

from the bottom A n old man at his death is festively .
carried to his grave by all the member s of the family amid

e xpressions Of cheerfulness ; for the Clan rej oices that now
a young life can be born again Childr en are j u st as .
much a spiritual necessity with these people as a physical

o ne ; they are the Obj ect o f the ardent de sire that fills the
lives Of these men Consequently the youths seek play .
mates from Clans living near or far G reat dan ce s enable .
them to become acquainted with such playmates and a

n ai ve happiness follows I f the clan agrees to the mar .
r i age, i e if it is confident that the young woman is the

. .
,
right one to bear it another worthy ancestor a marriage is ,
contracted This form o f marriage is characterized by

.
1
the fact that out o f the man s yearning grows the idea of ’
motherhood the important phenomenon of the mother

, ,
such as is not found in a matriarchy Woman becomes the .
holy vessel of matrimony ; she is a member o f the clan a ,
symbol o f the plastic p ower to create , which must comple
ment the man s desire ’

.
M A T R I AR C H AL institutions are still in part very clearly

evident with sharply defined contours among the
, ,
.
Hamitic people o f north A frica : from the Atlantic to

1 How o r g a ni c a lly
l if f h p i h i b d p w i h h
th e e o t ese a tr a r c a te s s o un u t t e
id f
ea o y f l (S l h
c o n st an c o ) i l ly h w by h m
so u e e en o n s ta uz s c ea r s o n t e ar
r ai g m T h b id h
e c usto s. b l d f m pi i l
e r e i i as to e r e ea s e ro s r tu a a s so c a t o n
wi h h t l I d h
er c an h
n or ld f ll w h f m h l
er t d
at n o o n e s ou o o er ro t e C a n, a n
d i y pp i h w l bd d ; d
.
t h gh h
r ou f er ec u n t h i r ea ea r n t e ne c a n, s e s a u ct e an
h h
t us t e s pi i l r tu awi h h l i v d D ig h m ig
c o nta c t t t e c an s se er e ur n t e ar r a e
m y h k ll di i g i h d i pl dbf h b id
.
c er e on f
t e s u o a st n u s e a n c esto r s ac e e or e t e r e
by th h d f h l ; h w i h
e ea o t eff i g f h ly g i
c an w hi h
t en t an o er n o o r a n, c
f m ly l y
or er h a k ll hon t i i v k d
e s p mi h i m l f
u t e a n c esto r s n o e to er t se to
w ly m i d w m
,
b b e g i
or n ah gh h
a n t r ou F f th p i
e ne ar r e o an or ur t er a r t en
l
.
D
a r s , see b k as t Af i kun e a nn e r a.
MARR I AGE A ND MA T R I ARC H Y 81
ward the east the Berbers and Tuaregs right up to the ,
B isch ar ins on the R ed S ea The Oldest for m in question

.
here shows woman supreme in all things S he is the .
property owner the man being entirely without property

,
.
She bequeaths her property in the female line and also ,
her name and status Descent from her determines the

.
caste The man may be a slave or a bondsman , but if she

.
belongs to a noble caste the children will also be high

,
born Woman does all the work ; she makes the skins
.
into leather and prepares the leather clothing and tent .
It is she who puts up and takes down the dwelling— place .
S he milks the cows makes butter mends and weaves

, , ,
.
The man only hunts tends the cattle and wages war
, ,
.
The woman who is ruler over all not infrequently loves

, ,
her brother more than her husband mi suses the latter , ,
and Often treats him to cruel tempers and lets him feel
her aversion .
The decisive factor in this curious communal order is

the manner in which marriage takes place The woman .
chooses the man I n fact she chooses him according to the

.
same inward necess i ty that is naturally present in all
women hesitatingly and with the desire to Obtain the very

,
best The men court the women and then the p lay b e
.
,
gins D O this ! DO that ! The man is put strictly to

.
the test R ivals are made to compete with each other

. .
Trophies are required as proofs o f ability A nd then .
finally when the girl believes that she has found the
,
best man that is to say the on e wh o suits her best , she

,
accept s him .
But an allurement is necessary to keep the man keyed

up during the period of probation to keep him if p ossible ,
at the highe st pitch of expectatio n Thu s a natural in .
stinct which in the s e matriarchal communities i s often

,
manifested in a brutal way causes the girl to flirt in such

,
L EO F RO B EN I U S
a manner as appeals most readily to men S he most . .
s crupulously preserves her virginity ( which a ff ords the
man the illusory pleasure o f being the first ) wh ich is the ,
means of her final conque st .
But under the matriarchal system the desire for selec

tion does not cease with marriage When in the course .
of time a man appears wh o is more courageous daring , ,
distinguished and successful than the husband she begins

, ,
to woo him with the same insi stence P atriarchy with its .
,
indiff erence to virginity and its strict conj ugal fidelity ,
is a complete contrast to the carefully guarded virginity

and conj ugal infidelity existing under matriarchal condi
tions I make a special point o f this becau se it is an indi
.
,
cation by which attachment to a particular system may be

ascertained It is not , however merely a question o f
.
,
variation The two forms are contrasts in every way

. .
This becomes especially clear when we consider the rela

tion of matriarchal culture to the dead In the matri .
archal order the expre ssion of life is seen to be the

,
continual splitting up of the body into new parts The .
child splits ofl from the mother and thus the life of the ,
Clan is assured Adornment o f the body with all its mem

.
,
bers refined by breeding becomes the significance and

,
allegory o f life This cultivation o f the body denies the

.
existence o f a disembodied spirit The latter becomes a .
ghost Consequently the dead and their bodies are not

.
respected as they are by the E thiopians for whom every ,
thing is spiritual ; but they are feared The body is buried .
without ceremony ; it is packed up and carried a long way

O ff
. S tones are dropped on to it and it is shunned Pas , .
sers by throw stones and dry wood on the grave to prevent

-
the possibility of the spirit arising A woman never .
touches a corpse not even that of her Own child It is

,
.
the man s duty to remove this strange burden Thus

’
.
MARR I AGE AND MA T R I AR C H Y 83
physical exi stence becomes ever more isolated perfection ,
of the body i s accompli shed and mo st important of all , ,
by the selection and insistence o f woman man is driven ,
to creative work .
Thus patriarchy produces motherh ood in its deep spir

i tual significance and matriarchy produces the creative
,
activity of man in its j oyous self-sacr i fice .
From the above it follows that matriarchy and patri

,
archy are not social phenomena that appear separately ,
for themselves alone By taking into consideration all

.
the cus toms bound up with these two conceptions and their
corresponding outlooks it will be found that there is no,
sphere o f cultural , spiritual or bodily activity in which ,
the same contrasts and variations do n ot also occur : in

domestic a ffairs and the division Of labour , in housing and
handicrafts in all that manifests the depth o f life M atri
, .
archal peoples are allegorical , and their attitude is a

magical one wherea s p ar tr iar ch ates experience everything
,
symbolically and are consequently mystics I n their own .
spheres patriarchy and matriarchy are the same C xpres

,
sion Of culture which manifests in all directions the same

differentiation .
is my task here to p oint out the significance o f the

I matriarchal and patriarchal structure of communal in
T
stituti on s and its bearing on the evolution of the di ff erent
forms of sex relations into the highest types of marriage .
To accomplish this we must understand the significance of

this twofold division ; namely the manife station Of dif ,
f er ent cultures This will enable us to Obtain from the

.
essential portion o f the original symbols the means o f

comprehending the natural course o f later phenomena .
The entelechy ( i e development along a prede . .

,
2
p
C om ar e Da s ster b en d e Af r i k a, Vol . II .
ter m in ed course ) o f culture seem s identical with the es
s ence of the general organic surroundings ; that i s to say ,
it culminate s in both in the polarity existing between

development and form movement and rest time and , ,
space Just as the mobile pollen o f the stamen falls on

.
the stationary pistil of the plant so in a similar manner ,
as regards movement the semen o f the male animal meet s

the stationary female egg—cell ; and analogous to these
reaction s we find essentially the s ame principle though
, ,
more complicated, in human sex M an and male func .
tions appear as solicitou s mobile craving expansion , , ,
partial to novelty urging and emanative and taken all in

, ,
all they are c entr ifuga l attributes ; whereas woman and

female functions are in general Ch aracterized by hesita
tion selection permi ssion to be wooed taking p o sses sion
, , ,
of,
ab sorbing into oneself retention and economy ; taken
,
in their entiret y these are c en tr ip etal attributes The

,
.
clo se relation of the se two principles becomes clearly evi

dent when one notices that wh at is idl y mobile and
tran sient in the male achieves in conj unction with the
,
peaceful spaciou sness o f the female both purpo se and

form In fact this is what is known as p olarity which
.
, ,
is an integral in it self For p olarity exists in every or

.
g a n i c being ; it is the tension between centrifugal and
centripetal force- but by developing and stre ssing the

di ff erentiating qualit y of sex one side i s alway s in the ,
ascendancy This may readil y give rise to a misconcep

.
tion Of the real nature of the phenomenon It is only .
p os sible however to comprehend the hi storical course

, ,
of the evolution o f culture and the development of

primitive sex relations into marriage itself With the .
s pread of culture large territories are recognizable today

,
where the decomposition o f p olarity h as taken place by

either one of the poles becoming exclusively p r edomi
MARR I AGE AN D MA T R I AR C H Y 85
nant The great steppe —

. lands in the interior o f A sia,
A frica, and eastern E urope became the domiciles of cen
tr i f ugal cultures and were consequently patriarchal The .
countries lying on th e coasts o f the M editerranean and

( toward the east ) o f southern A sia represented cen tr i
p
etal cultures and were thus matriarchal The movement .
and invasion of the mobile centrifugals into the territories

of the cen tr ip etal s re sulted in order o f sequence in the
, ,
genesis of the high cul tures Of India western E urope the , ,
Aegean R ome France and E ngland N aturally the

, , ,
.
mobile form of culture had more evolutionary p owers ,

while the quiescent variety was more formative These .
phenomena underlie the entire problem o f what is known

as world history and it is my task to show h ow in the
, ,
course of the se events primitive matriarchy developed

,
into the highest standards of mar r iage .
I f we follow periods and episodes in the evolution of

culture the following will serve as a corroborative illus
,
tr ati on O f the various forms and extensions o f matriarchy

which harmonizes with facts .
I recognize three periods in the evolution of culture

that before p olarity p olarity and p ost -polarity The
, ,
.
first stage of culture is only found today on the edge of

the Oekumene and in di ff erent outlying di stricts and even ,
here it is in a state of decay and senility owing to the

influence o f p olar culture with which it is in contact and
,
by which it is being overrun The internal structure ex

.
hib its the correlation to a narro w space ; in thi s re spect it

corresponds to t h e conditionality among most o f the
higher animals In general they feel them selves at one
.
with their natural environment and living in hordes they

, ,
make only the on e distinction that between males and ,
females There is neither matriarchy n or patriarchy I

. .
term them pre -polar because the cleavage due to the

,
di ff erentiation o f t VPes which 1
is nece ssarY to sustain
polarity h as n ot y et taken place
,
. I cannot distinguish an
episodic structure at this stage .
N the other hand the general impres sion given by the

0 second stage culture dependent on polarity is very
,
, ,
clear It forms a chain b oth as regards time and space

.
, ,
with links that fit closely into on e another Four episodes .
are clearly di stinguishable : th e primitive manifestation o f

polarity in the west ; the origins O f the high culture on the
Pacific coasts ; the high culture of western A sia ; the after
culture of s outhern and western E urope which ends with
civilization L et us now consider this in detail and its
.
,
significance and bearing on the hi story Of matriarchy .
The first epi s ode in the primitive manifestation o f

polarit y is that in which the cleavage in culture has al
ready taken place M atriarchy develop s as the expres sion
.
O f a new feeling o f life impelling a definite form It .

,
comes on the scene with irruptive force and demands to

be acknowledged as the principal significance Of life .
For this is the evolutionary and hi storical meaning of all

materializations o f culture irrespective of whether the
,
Obj ects are spiritual social or material The new order

, ,
.
is expression and demands hegemony in all things It .
po ssesses force of expr essi on and causes all things around

it to retreat By its influence all is fa shioned anew until
.
,
it has conquered and subj ugated all and extended its

modifying influence to every sphere o f life Thus it .
passes imperceptibl y into the s econd form of di ff erentia

tion ; it becomes the part of a greater whole The other .
aspects of culture which were at first pu shed aside become

animated as parts o f a complex organi sm ascribing to the ,
new order its particular function O n becoming in its .

things spiritual while the other declines them with what
,
amounts almost to hatred S imilarly the on e reveres the

.
spiritual and supersensual and those who are freed from

,
the body by death ; whereas the other reveres corp oreal ,
sensuous and living things Consequently a change that

,
.
was revolutionary had to take place when the representa

tives o f centrifugal culture following their natural bent
,
for movement brought their culture into the coastal coun

,
tries O f A sia , where the most extreme centripetal and

matriarchal culture was prevalent Fecundation took .
place and a new episode followed, in which exaggerated

,
empiricism and the veneration o f all things corporeal

reacted against cosmic spirituality .
Thi s is the epoch that saw the birth of cosmogony and

mythology ; when man ceased to be the servitor of N ature
and became the servant of the cosmic idea in fact became ,
a priest Woman had won her place by means o f ir r up

.
tive force and revolutionary power, but in the course of

gradual evolution man attained the development and use
of his centrifugal forces Thus it was impossible for
.
him as the representative o f evolution to substitute his

, ,
patriarchy for the existing matriarchy on entering the

formative sphere H e could only influence and modify
.
it O ut of the old forms o f matriarchy where the chil

.
,
dren were the mother s heirs a new form sprang up in

’
,
“ ”
which the avun culus the mother s brother became the
,
’
,
heir But the ascendancy of the female line did not show
.
itself in this manner alone .
The great conquest o f cosmic space by means of mythol

ogy was the principal cause o f the new order , which
represented the ap p licatl on Of the significance o f the
newly discovered universe , as ruled by the sun to earthly ,
conditions The mundus as symbolized by the temple

.
, ,
is the foundation of tribal organization The four cardinal .

MARR I AGE A N D MA T R I ARC H Y 89
points ( E ast West , S outh , and N orth ) and the point o f

,
intersection o f the cross that j oins them become the sym ,
b ol of the cosmic state Four provinces with priests rul

.
ing over them , and in the centre the chief priest symbol ,
of the supreme divine ruler — this is the figure from which

kingship evolves in an age o f progressive reality .
A nd this god king ( son o f the sun ) had to marry

- “ ”
,
as his first wife his own sister or daughter This and the
,
.
rights o f the av unculus are the typical s y mptoms o f the

stage o f c onstr ucti on and or ganizati on ( E ingli ed er ung)
that is to say the second stage o f matriarchy
,
.
S till another phenomenon o f this period ( the S ignifi

cance of which is retained to this day ) characterizes the
irruptive force of matriarchal forms and conceptions : the
myth of the c oncep ti o i mmacula ta What was for the
.
women of the matriarchal period a natural and powerful

incitement by which to obtain man s service the preserva
’
,
tion and tendering o f virginity as the most precious sacri

fice now becomes the p oint o f departure for the birth of
,
all the sun gods A nd in the temple only vestal virgins

-
.
are allowed to tend the sacred flame They are conse .
crated to the invi sible god wh o can be kn own only by

symbols .
N the first episode the germinating period of p olar cul

I ture the latter extended only to the land In the
,
.
,
second episode it becomes littoral and pa sses through the

fleeting sea and the magic world beyond the great waters
which are subj ugated by the newly discovered navigation .
This was the time when the dragon ship ruled the seas ; -
in fact the age is entirely subservient to the male sense

o f width and distance In the great swing of the pen
.
~
dulum through southern and western A sia the A egean

, , ,
R ome France and E ngland it passes from the coastal

, , ,
90 L EO F RO B EN I US
regions of southern A sia into the continent o f western
Asia It passe s into a land where conceptions were no
.
longer lightly framed retaining the shape o f ideas but , ,
had become definite phenomena ; where the desire for

representation instead of being intensified b y a symbolism
,
ranging wide as the horizon had become sti ff and shackled ,
by a logically re stricted sphere By the sea every rigid .
form melted in the play o f the waves in the alternati ng ,
moods that accompanied sunrise and sunset There w as .
retained the image which could achieve its form and

meaning only when taken as an artistic whole It was the .
great age o f a centrifugal world-outlook based on things ,

3
that are visible .
But in western Asia every step leaves footprints ; every

tree stump rock stone and hill is a remembrance Here
-
, , ,
.
symboli sm turns to allegory and the mobile and fleeting is ,
changed to the constant and rigid The sun that moved .
along the vaporous sea as lord of time and S pace b e

comes the g lowing monster the god O f murder moving ,
across the languishing earth Here it is the cool of .
friendly night the night sky and the sea O f stars that are
, ,
reverenced The illimitable rhythm i e a temporal sym

.
,
. .
,
bol of the universe and the vital emotion of the former

,
episode give place to a symbol conditioned by space and

,
dependent on the star-covered vault o f heaven N 0 longer .
a feeling of vastness awakened by the vision o f day and

sea , but a feeling Of the dismal pit born of the night and ,
the empty monotonous land ; no longer the playground

,
of centrifugal forces but the stage o f centripetal i ntell igi

,
bility .
The result is the fecundation of western culture in

western Asia The new world arises : the world o f reli
.
3 Fo r f ur th er d eta i l s s ee d
the n ew e i ti o n o f P a i d euma , Er l ebte E r tei le, d
Vo l IV,
. 1 92 5 .
92 LEO F RO B E N I US
for the quiet work o f woman continues mostly without
man s noticing it or even comprehending its significance
’
.
“ ”
Th is is the quiescent matriarchy which triumphs in the
next episode .
In the hi story o f matriarchy this confident and secre

,
tive inward functioning also corresponds to external n e

cessity ; namely the exhaustion of th e exaggerated and
,
fanatical ol d orgiastic forms which henceforth become

ritual consecrated to the gods
,
They pass through .
Thrace acro ss the threshold of class ical antiquity and reach

E urope where they become extinct
,
.
moving the centre of culture to the western Mediter

B r anean—this corresponds with the fourth episode
Y
—
of polarity naturally an intensification takes place which
is in accordance with the two original principles : the cen
tr i f ugal principle always develop s more externally and
thus gives the privileges of the male a more decisive form ,
while the centripetal principle gains in inward significance ,
stability depth and refinement Thus external necessity

, ,
.
strengthens its power to achieve unobtrusively its feminine

ch aracter A nd t his all the more because when the first
.
,
high culture of the O ccident aro se in the A egean Archipel

ago it was accompanied by a freeing and expansion o f
,
the entelechy that was formerly bound by its continental

s ituation .
A s I have already pointed out, in the continental cul

ture Of western Asia the significance o f mythology had
,
been degraded to allegory and magic It can easily be .
s hown that cultural evolution is invariably characterized
by the appearance Of external form s in the place of a deca

dent and rigid content ; for example the less political ,
s en s e a nation pos ses ses the more law s it frames

,
Life in .
western A sia i s overburdened with a ma ss of symbolism .

MARR I AGE AN D MA T R I AR C H Y 93
This p enetrated the wh ole Of its life and forced man in
every custom and action, in every mode o f experience to ,
a dhere to the prescribed form and to make concessions

to cultural requirements This is true o f everyday mat
.
ters and applies still more to spiritual life In fact life .

,
becomes a self-inflicted slavery the real slavery of those

,
who feel themselves bound A thin streak o f this culture

.
with all its attributes found its way from western A sia to
the A egean and held the archipelago as far as the G recian
mainland veiled in a matriarchal wealth of form ( Crete
,
M ycenae ) I nto this patriarchal culture the A chaeans and

.
D orians penetrated, as bearers o f a primitive and virgin

patriarchal culture .
This fecundation that took place on the shores o f an

inland sea proved a liberation The new episode put an
.
end to the superabundance o f symbolism The ancient .
forms of expres sion that sprang from the O riental Pai

denma had already acquired a place in the cultural edifice ,
and now find their free application Tympanon , metope .
,
and triglyphs become capitals ; where formerly they were

burdened with abstract interpretations they lose their ,
allegorical nature and become natural parts o f architecture .
During the course o f this liberation on e special feature ,
is predominant and this is decisive with regard to sex

,
relations In the episode o f P acific culture mythology ;

.
,
in western A sia religion ; and in the A egean , epics , were

,
the natural modes of expression Thus the course o f .
evolution takes a new and most imp ortant direction I n .
the first episode o f p olar culture mankind is divided into

,
patriarchal and matriarchal families which have inter ,
course with on e another as such During cosmogonal .
culture families are established on a hierarchic basis A t

,
.
this time all the members Of the same family were es

sentially equal A ll wore the same clothes and the same
.
94 L EO F RO B E N I U S
ornaments experienced the same emotions and thoughts
, ,
and were subj ect to the same variations of fortune and

fashion Th is unity continued when the families grew
.
into peoples The third period, when religions were

.
formed gave the tribes their character as a nation N a

,
.
tions stand to one another like isolated individuals The .
outlook on life which sees man together with the rest o f

,
creation as a cosmic Obj ect , was supplanted by the con cep

,
tion of man and his nation as a pr i vileged obj ect O riental .
antiquity never advanced beyond this stage I f one reads .
such a wonderful compilation as the Ar a b i a n Ni gh ts o n e ,
finds not a single per son with on e exception who by p er

, ,
son al ity or strength of character ma sters fate E ach is the .
toy of force s benevolent or malevolent as the case may be ,

.
For every turn of destiny common superstition finds an

,
explanation in the occult world .
O n entering the fourth episode Of the polar period a ,
new thing came to life : the m y thological matter that had

its birth in the expr essi on o f mythology and religious emo
tions was now app li ed to construct the history o f man
kind G ods become heroes S upermen ari se, who at
. .
first appear as exceptions among the herd They are the .
natural efflux Of the continually accumulating intensifi

cation stored up in patriarchy The ob servance of per
.
s on al ity w as naturally at first a predominantly male
characteristic Thus individual man acquired in dep en d

.
ence which found its consummate intensification in the

,
epic period and naturally also influenced the relationship

,
of the sexes .
In G reece the civil position o f women was characterized

by two main groups O ne group was composed of h ouse
.
wives who lived a very retired life and apparently played

,
no part in public a ff airs at all In direct opposition to

.
these were the hetairae whose prototype was Aspasia

,
.
peoples were a ff ected by an impulsive drive and agitation ,
gradually subsiding until they finally ended in border

warfare O n the other hand individuals became con
.
,
s tan tly more adventurous and energetic They first .
opened up the world by sailing around it and wandering

across continents and then they travelled as merchants
,
and pleasure-seekers to all countries ; I n the beginning

o f p olar culture whole tribes wore the same clothing ;
,
today every one tries to develop his own personal taste .
In the beginning poetry through the influence of the

, ,
m yths had a common character ; whereas today it r ep r e

,
sents ethnological psychological and social observation

, ,
o f a personal nature Formerly motivation and signifi

.
cance were embodied in the character of the tribe or people

as a whole ; now it increasingly depends on the strong per
son al ity of individuals wh ose characters can a fl ect not
only their own nation, but others as well In the b e .
ginning man s entire environment was a Closed and self

,
’
ordered cosmo s ; today we are on the way to realizing

a macrocosm in every microcosm and consequently in ,
every individual .
Thus out O f the highest stage o f the high cultures indi

vidual man is evolved i e personality as the seed-corn
,
. .
,
in the rising period of unification of a world-wide culture .
That signifies that the high ten sion of cultural polarity

takes place in the individual and thus individual per ,
son al ity bridges over the ever -fading contrasts and space
limitations of cultural forms .
Such a Change must also bring a n ew expression for

matriarchy This is already evidenced in the way that
.
women are leaving housework to take up professions .
O ther convincing symptoms are the cry for the child

“ ”
,
the new feminist movement which springs up in patri ,
archal cultures frequently near the borders of matri

,
MARR I AGE A ND MA T RI AR C H Y 97
ar ch ates ( never actually in them ) ; the easy annulment of
marriage etc E ver more clearly and di stinctly the two
,
.
particular qualities deviate from one another correspond ,
ing to the symptoms Of the centripetal entelechy mis ,
tress and wife A gain : in the matriarchal sphere o f

.
influence which is continually widening universal

, ,
validity and particularity are separating O ne thing is .
certain : that the action o f centripetal force which at one ,
time was characterized by the grotesque form we have

termed matriarchy can never cease to exert its influence
,
and will always in accordance with the style and stage o f

,
culture attained influence and modify the forms and

,
essence o f marriage .
R A B IN D R AN A T H T AG O RE
T he I n di a n Id ea l o f M a r ri a ge
RE Q UES T has come to me from E urope to say some

A thing about the Indian idea of marriage This puts .
me in mind of the di ff erence between the E uropean and

the Indian idea— a di ff erence which is not merely Of outer
method but of inner purpose
,
.
L ike all di stinctive features o f Civilized societies the ,
marriage system is an attempt at compromise between the

biological purpo ses of N ature and the s ociological pur
p o ses of M an ; and both its outer form and inner aim de
pend upon the divergence between these two For in h is .
,
individual as well as in h is social life man is governed by ,
thi s diarchy.
Thus where society is complex with a network of

,
widely r ami fied relationships the natural propensities

,
have to be kept in check by social pres sure from every

side,
while where wants are numerous and their supply
difli cult and man is compelled to venture forth to dis
,
tant places to make a living there the social obligations

,
needs must be light and the nature and extent o f the

,
mutual claims of individuals over one another cannot be

rigidly prescribed b y s ociet y but must be left to be ad
,
j u sted by the individuals themselves .
It is a matter o f comment by E uropeans that we use

“ ”
no word like thanks in our own language f or expressing
gratitude ; and they j ump to the conclusion that our Char
acter mu st be fr ee from that troublesome feeling But the .
98
1 00 RA B I N DRA N A T H T AGO RE
Kshatriyas extended their sway and populous settlement s ,
gre w up in their wake the need for peace was felt and
,
its merits were exalted S O broadly speaking the estab

.
, ,
l ishment o f relationships between the Aryans the bar ,
b ar ian s and the R akshasas, forms the main theme o f the

,
Ram ayana .
Courage in the ethics of P eace , means the courage of

,
self sacr i fice ; there; bravery has for its Obj ect the triumph
-
o f R enunciation A nd in societies where such sacrifice

.
,
and renunciation are cultivated , not the individual but

the household is the primary unit , and such household is
broad, not narrow in conception and content That is
,
.
why as the R am ayana evolves from a collection o f bal

,
lads into an epic its main function is transformed from a

,
narration o f struggles against the outrages O fl er ed to the

cult o f tillage si th into the exaltation of the E thics o f
the Household The unfaltering strength of self—
. renun
ciation which is needful for keeping true the varied rela
tions between king and subj ect , father and son brother ,
and brother husband and wife , master and servant , and

,
among neighbour s di fferent in colour and character ,
that is what it really glor i fies .
Wherever many men have congregated not for the ,
purpo se of attacking others but f or mutual benefit there

, ,
is evolved a mentality which eventually transcends all

considerations o f expediency and enV1sages S upreme G ood
as an absolute fulfilment A nd so in our country, there
.
,
was a day when the household was glorified not as a com ,
f or tab le home , not as the enj oyment o f proprietary right ,
but as the means Of living the fulle st communal life and ,
through it of attaining supreme liberation at the end .
The intimacy o f relationship with wife and child is but

natural and so may hardly help to loosen the bonds of
,
self—rather , it serves to strengthen them But the house .

T HE I ND I A N I DEA L OF MARR I AGE 10 1
hold wherein even the most di stant of kinsmen have a

recognized right where one s own earnings have to be
,
’
shared by those wh o are almost strangers where it is a ,
matter of shame and censure if di fferences be made b e

—
tween near and distant relations there the claim s of ,
moral welfare override those o f natural a ff ection and ,
give rise to certain special qualities o f heart These grad .
ually gro w so p owerful that both the individual as well a s
the social conscience refuse to tolerate any personal claim s

when these conflict with those of the household d h ar ma .
Therefore the home of the Indian has never been

,
looked upon as his castle the place where he is lord and

,
master NO doubt the duty there cast on him o f con

.
,
s i der i n g the rights o f others o n any and every occa sion ,
has involved him in expenditure of time and money but ,
his accounts have ever been cast up not in terms of self ,
interest but o f social and spiritual welfare

,
.
In societies where the h ou sehold is founded on th e
comfort and convenience o f the individual his acceptance ,
or non acceptance of the householder s estate remain s op

- ’
tional. I f any such should say that he does not care for
domestic j oys but prefers the freedom o f irresponsibility
, ,
no room for Obj ection is left But in H in du India b e

.
,
cause the household is an essential element in its social

structure marriage is almost compulsory— like con scr ip
,
tion in E urope o n the threat Of war .
According to our L awgivers any one making gifts to or

, ,
taking gifts from a Brahmin who remains a h ouseholder

, ,
but does n ot marry goes to hell S ays Atri : N O hospi

,
“
.
”
tality should be accepted from an unmarried householder .
The household h as been compared in our sh astr a s to a , ,
great tree ; for j ust as the roots o f the latter supp ort its
,
branches twigs and foliage so does the life of the house

, , ,
hold maintain the di fl er ent institutions of society ; and the

1 02 R A B I N DRA N A T H T A G O RE
L awgiver lays it down that the should do honour to K ing
the upholder o f the hou seholder s estate But th e mere ’
.
fact of setting up a hou sehold anyh ow does not consti , ,
tute that estate according to our sh a str as

’
G r ihasthopi k r iyayukto na g r i h en a
g r ih as ra mi ,
Na c ha i va putr a dar en a sva k a r m a par i va r j i ta .
N o t by th e h ouse i s mad e th e h ouseh o ld, but b y th e

f m l d d — or ev en by
f h h h i
’
p er or an ce o t e o us e o e r s u t e s n
wi fe an d ch i l dr en, if th e h ous eh old er b e w anting i n h i s

ow n karma .
here does not mean th e looking after his famil y

K ar m a
interest s but the performance of h is specific duty— the
,
fulfilment of h is obligation to s ociety .
T atha ta th a i va ka yan i
r na k alastu vi dhi ya te,
A smin n eva p r a yufij an o h ya sm inn eva tu l i ya te .
Wi th s oci ety ar e w e c onn ected i n i t d o w e ter minate ,
th is l ife ; th er ef or e sh o uld w e d o o ur d uty a s i t ar is es an d ,
n o t a w a it our ow n c on v eni en ce .
To perform the duties o f a householder is in fact looked

upon as a spiritual discipline S ays Vasisth a .
'
G r iha stha eva yaj a te gr iha sth a stapya te tapa h,

C h a tur n amasr am an an tu gr ih a stha stu vishi shya te .
That is to say because the life o f a householder is a life

,
of self— abneg ation having its manifold Obligations to gods

and men therefore of all th e four asr am as the a sr ama or
'
, , ,
estate of the householder is specially di stinguished

,
.
In societies where the hou seh older is but the means of

ensuring the comfort and security of the individual the ,
notion of property also becomes inten sely individualistic ;

for th e right o f prop erty is at the base of the householder s ’
1 04 RA B I N DRA N A T H T AGORE
India , expenditure by the househ older for social welfare
wa s not a matter of generosit y but a primary duty in the ,
interests of his own fulfilment S uch duty was cast not .
only on the rich but also on the poor according to their

, ,
means M anu says : The r i shi s the forefathers the

.
“
, ,
gods the guest s and all living creatures expect to be

, ,
maintained by the h ou seholder Knowing this he should .

,
”
act accordingly By many such inj unctions and in divers
.
other ways are the Indian people kept reminded that the
dh ar ma of the householder consists in fulfilling the vari
o us claims o f humanity A nd further in M anu s op 1n1on
.
,
’
,
those who are o f weak Character and have no control over

—
their pa ssion s they are not worthy of the householder s ’
high estate .
N order to under stand the principle underlying Hindu

marriage it is nece ssary first to come to a true ap p r ecia
,
tion of thi s principle underlying the Hindu s ocial system .
It will then become clear that in this type of society , ,
having for its Obj ect the perfection Of communal life ,
there is danger in allowing marriage to pursue the path

of self-will S uch a s ociety can withstand the encroach
.
ment s o f N ature only if its marriage system is walled

round with a protective embankment S o the Hindu .
ideal of marriage has no regard for individual taste or

—
inclination it is rather afraid of them, , .
If any E uropean would really understand the psychol

ogy behind t h is let him bethink himself of th e state of
,
things that Obtained during the last war O rdinarily in .

,
E urope there is no bar to international marriages But

,
.
,
when the one obj ective O f the war overshadowed all

other considerations marriage with the subj ect of an enemy
,
country became an impo ssibility ; so much so that E uro ,
pean society felt no compunction in cruelly severing even

TH E I ND I A N I DEA L OF MARR I AGE '
1 05
long-standing marriage ties of this description N ot only .
was the marriage question so a ff ected but during war ,
condition s food and all other amenities of life had to be

cut down to a uniform standard The per sonal liberty .
and elasticity of occupation so characteristic of western ,
civilization tended wholly to disappear

,
.
These war conditions a ff ord a good parallel to the per

manent condition s which govern Hindu society where the ,
encroachment o f alien cultures has always been a con

stant danger to be guarded against This vital Obj ectiv e .
of the twice — born leaders wh o practically represented the

,
whole people therefore runs as a steady undercurrent

,
through our society The problem o f keeping its civiliza

.
tion pure having been acknowledged as all -important ,
and its so lution thus sought by India her society has had ,
to claim of its members the severe and permanent curbing

O f their individual liberty of choice and action .
Indian s ociety however did not reach thi s stage all at

, ,
once It was gradually evolved through successive adap

.
tations to changing Circum stances M eanwhile many .
relics Of earlier stages survived into the later Therefore .
M anu had to recognize in his treatise other diff erent

, ,
forms o f marriage such as the G dn dh ar va ( by mutual

choice ) Ra ksh asa ( by conquest ) Asur ( by purchase )
'
, , ,
P aish a ch a ( by taking advantage of helple ssnes s )

'
In .
none of these is the social will manife st but only the de ,
sire O f the individual ; for force whether of arms or , ,
money or circumstances is arrogant and passion refuses

, , ,
to submit to extraneous con siderations But while r e .

,
cording these form s M anu censured them , .
Though the G andh ar va marriage founded on mutual ,
attraction was al s o one O f tho s e which did not find favour

,
with the Lawgiver it nevertheless long persisted in Indian

,
so ci ety , as our e ics and other literature make clear This

p .
only shows that however conservatively stable a society
,
may be the principle of stability cannot be equally strong

,
among all the cla sses which it compri se s In the Kshatri ya .
character, e sp ecially th e cultivation of s elf—

,
suppre ssion
was least likely to attain its fullest development It is .
not po ssible to keep confined in a complex net of social

Obligations the warrior spirit which ever seeks fresh fields
for expansion It is for thi s reason that our s h a str as pro
’
h ib ited the cros sing o f the sea Any adventurous activity

.
whatsoever that may loo sen our mind from its mooring
,
and disturb the fixed habit of our thought and belief and
behaviour is bound to undermine the very foundation of
,
o ur society .
N ot only sea voyages , but also residence in foreign

countries with antagonistic s ocial ideals was proh ibited ,
and penalized In the West we find nowadays all kinds

.
o f forcible attempts being made to prevent the intrusion
o f Bol shevik ideas This is comparable with our prob i

.
b itio n of foreign travel N O penalty is deemed too severe

.
if it but keep in check the propaganda which it is appr e ,
hended, may destroy the element s essential for the sta

b il ity of the orthodox we stern social s ystem The liberty .
o f the people to form their Own opinions to regulate ,
their own conduct is here no longer respected The ter

, .
r or i st organization called Fa sci sm which seems to be

,
daily gaining ground in E urope is the exact counterpart ,
o f our rigorous social inj unctions There was a day in .
India when for the S udra to a spire to the path o f the

Brahmin entailed the death penalty The same psycho .
logical phenomenon is seen in the West in the cruel form

Of l y nching Fasci sm Ku—
,
K lux-K lanism and the like
, ,
.
It is no doubt conducive to a certain strength if all the

members o f a society are in the main moulded in ac , ,
1 08 R A B I N DRA N A T H T AGORE
virility and the Brahmins had gained almost unquestioned
a scendancy that it became p ossible to make the social
,
bonds so rigorou sly inert .
M anu gives the name of G a ndh ar va to marriage by ’
mutual choice and signifies h is di sapprobation by stig

,
“ ”
matizing it as born of desire The way to marriage
.
wh ich is shown by the torchlight o f passion has not for its

goal the welfare Of society but the sati sfaction o f desire
,
.
Even in E urope where the Obligation of the individual

,
to society is much lighter it is well known how the min

,
gling of the sexes under the impulse of passion Often gives

ri se to anti social difficulties ; but there society being mo
-
,
bile the e ff ects are not so deep as with us In our

,
.
shdstr a s therefore the B r a h ma marriage i s considered to

’
, ,
be the best Acc ording to this the bride should be given

.
,
to a man who had not solicited her If the institution of .
marriage has to be regulated strictly from the social stand

point room cannot be found for the per sonal wishes of
,
the people concerned ; so the system which Obtains in the

case of the ro y al h ouses Of E urope is the system which
prevails through out Hindu society .
A nother way for the better understanding by the E uro

pean o f the mentalit y underlying our marriage system
would be by reference to the discussions on eugenics which
are a feature of modern E urope The science o f eu .
g en i cs like
,
all other sciences attaches but little
,
weight to
personal sentiment A ccording to it selection by personal
.
,
inclination must be rigorously regulated for the sake of

the progeny If the principle involved be once admitted
.
,
marriage needs must be re scued from the control O f the

heart and brought under the province of the intellect ;
,
otherwi se ins oluble problems will keep on arising for ,
passion recks not o f consequences nor brooks interference ,
by out side j udges .

T HE I ND I A N I DEA L OF MARR I AGE 1 09
To return to our Kshatriya s : They were as I have in ,
di cated not in the habit o f Observing with any strictne ss

,
the social rules relating to marriage But it becomes .
clear from the p oems Of Kalidas that there was a struggle

of protest in h is mind against this laxity o f their Ob ser v
ance The p oet keenly felt the value o f the eugenic r e
.
strictions which were directed toward maintaining the r a

cial ideals pure and yet his heart could not f ail to be
,
.
moved by the beauty of the play o f the natural loves of

man and woman against the background Of the exuberance
o f the Universal L ife I n most of the great works of
.
Kalidas is treated the conflict of these oppo sites The .
coming of the line Of the Bh aratas was a great event in

f he hi story Of India But though the prelude of un
.
bridled desire which u shered in the founder of the line

, ,
has been viewed by the p oet in its aspect of beauty in the

first part o f the play he has corrected it from the stand
,
point O f the good toward the conclu sion .
Amid the natural beauty of the forest h ermitage

'
Sakuntal a s youth blo ssom s out in prodigal curve s O f

’
body and mind along with the ecstasy of form and move
,
ment in the fl owering trees and creepers around her .
Everywhere in this retreat does N ature beckon but ,
S ociety as yet has found no loophole through which to

, ,
obtrude the warning of her uplifted finger S akuntal a s .

’
secret union with K ing Dushyan ta which takes place ,
amid these surroundings is not in harmony with the rest

,
of society S O according to the poet the curse comes

.
, ,
upon her S he overlooks in her self absorption the duty

.
,
-
,
Of hospitality
; for when N ature is busy s ecuring an y S p e
cial purpose she throws all other purp oses into the back
,
ground S ociety thereupon exacts i ts penalt y and in the

'
.
,
King s audience hall the inevitable thunderbolt O f insult

’
,
and rej ection falls upon S akuntal a .

RA B I N DRA NA T H T AGORE
In the seventh act the picture which the p oet draws o f
,
the hermitage in wh ich is consummated King Dushyanta s ’
final union with S akuntal a now purified by discipline is , ,
everywhere full of the rigour of renunciation eclip sing ,
the life—play o f N ature In the Opening scene the K ing

.
,
is informed that the Rishi is busy expounding th e dh ar ma

of the wifely estate S akuntal a, here is seen as the
.
,
emblem of devotion the mother It is clear that the

,
.
poet s obj ect was vividly to contrast these two pictures o f

’
the relations o f woman to man the one carrying the bond ,

~
age of desire the other the detachment of dh ar ma

,
.
M otherhood in so far as it is concerned with th e physi

,
cal nurture of O ff spring is not essentially di ff erent in

,
man and the lower animals being a function of biological , ,
not of sociological life governed by instinct s wh ich are

, ,
of N ature not by man s own creative p ower But where

,
’
.
the mot h er undergoes voluntary penance for the eleva

tion of the human race keeping her natural instin cts in
,
rigorous subordination to the dictates o f mind and soul ,
there indeed is her own creative p ower at work N ow .
ada y s in the We st we Often find women feeling a certain

,
degradation in becoming subj ect to maternity ; that is to

sa y they feel the insult of having to submit to this tyranny
,
of N ature over their sex But the way for woman to .
avoid such insult is not by abj uring motherhood but by ,
making it subserve her ideal by bringing it under the con ,
trol of her own intellect and conscience How far India s .

’
—
conscious activity in the past t h is striving of hers for the
—
be t p ossible progeny was fully consonant with the con
s
cl usi on s of modern science is not the question here

,
The .
point is that j u st by such intellectual and spiritual vigi

,
lance can the human mother achieve her true dignity .
In his K uma r a —
sa m b h a va it is the s ame thing that the
'
poet tells us There he has shown the divine aspect of

.
RA B I N DRA N A T H T AGORE
I f we accept the institution of marriage we mu st also ,
admit that no system can be devised to insure that its

original Ob j ect shall remain true throughout the long
period covered by the life o f the wedded couple That is .
w h y both law and public opinion have to keep such v igi

I
lant watch from the out side But when external comp ul-
.
sion tries to bind together tho s e whom only mutual love
can truly unite it makes their relations inherently im

,
—
pure in fact no greater insult can be O ff ered to man
,
.
Yet all over the civilized world man submits even to

, ,
this for the sake of the welfare o f his childr en S o far .

,
no society h as been able to claim that it has arrived at a

faultle ss s olution of the difli culty In entering the mar
.
ried state we all have to make our plunge into the doubt
ful and leave it to Providence whether we s hall sink or ,
swim through .
“ ”
The de sire however against which India s solution
, ,
’
of the marriage problem declared war is one of N ature s ,

’
mo st powerful fighters ; consequently the que stion of how ,
to overcome it was not an easy one There is a particular .
age said India at which thi s attraction between the sexes

, ,
reaches its height ; so if marriage is to be regulated accord

ing to the so cial will i t must be fini shed with before such
,
age Hence the Indian cu stom of early marriage

. .
Thi s brings to my mind the conver sation I once had

with an agriculturist I w as complaining to him of the
.
lack O f common grazing grounds in our villages where ,
upon he told me that it w as a mistake to suppo se that a

cow wo uld thrive best if allowed to graze at will .
S cientific feeding with specially cultivated fodder—crops

onl y could yield the best re sult s These must have been
.
th e line s of argument in regard to married love pur sued

, ,
in our country For the purpose of marriage spontaneous

.
,
love is unreliable ; its proper cultivation should yield the

T HE I ND IA N I DEA L OF MARR I AGE 1 13
— —
best results such was the conclusion and this cultiva
tion should begin before marriage Therefore from their .
,
earliest years the hu sband as an idea is held up before

,
our girls in verse and story through ceremonial and wor

, ,
ship. When at length they get this husband he is to them ,
not a pers on but a principle like loyalty patriotism or , , ,
such other ab stractions which Owe their immen se strength

to the fact that the b es ar t o f them is our Own creation
and therefore part o f our inner being .
There i s also in our societythe glorification of the sa ti ,
the ideal wife ; and accordingly, a real reverence for

,
woman as the embodiment o f housewifely virtues is not

, ,
rare in our country The idea was in both cases to

.
, ,
replace the natural passion Of sexual love by the cultivated

emotion o f wedded love But it must be admitted that
.
as woman is emotional by nature, it has not been as ea sy

for man thus to idealize the married state as it has been
for her It mu st als o be admitted that the restraints and
.
restrictions prescribed in the ca se Of the man have not

been so rigorous as those for the woman .
Therefore in coming to our j udgment on the marriage

,
system o f India we must not fail to recognize the fact that

,
therein the man and the woman are not on a footing o f

equality S uch inequality would have utterly humiliated
.
her but that for the wife the hu sband is an ideal S he h as

, ,
.
not surrendered herself to the brute force o f another but ,
voluntarily consecrated herself to the service of her own

ideal And if the husband is a man o f sensitive soul the
.
flame of this ideal love is transmitted to his own life also .
Such mutual illumination it has Often been our lot to

witness .
There is yet another vital element in India s culture ’
which we must keep in mind In spite O f her exaltatio n .
Of the household estate I ndia did not look upon this as

,
man s ultimate stage A ccording to India s ideal
’
.
’
,
the h ome mu st be given up in due cour se in quest 0

—
,
In finite the household in fact , is only to be set up

,
important stage in this quest E ven today we see our .

,
householders wh en their children are grown up leaving

, ,
their h ome to spend the rest of their life in s ome place of

pilgrimage Here is another pair of opposites which
.
India attempted to reconcile O n the one hand her civi .

,
l izatio n is essentially bound up in the h ome albeit a home ,
in which a wide circle O f relationships find their place .
O n the other its endeavour is one by one to snap all

, , ,
earthly ties in its pur suit o f the liberation of the soul In .
fact it recognizes the social bonds because it is only

,
through their acceptance that they can be transcended In .
order to get rid of the natural desires o f man they must ,
be used up ; that is to say guided by the spirit of renuncia

,
tion to t h eir Own extinction Here we find the di ff erence

.
between Hindui sm and Buddhi sm In its relations with .
N ature Buddhi sm i s uncompromi singly anarchist from

,
the very out set .
The weakness of the Hindu s ystem lies in the fact that

its complex web is to o clo sely knit and that the least
loosening o f its fibre in any of its parts tends to its disr up
tion It is afraid of the contact of the outside because the
.
,
bond which h olds it together is that of external regula

tion whose strength depends upon habitual conformity
,
.
But self-segregation for any society is no longer practicable

in this age For , while it may be possible to prevent the
.
man on this side of the sea from cros sing to the other ,
what about preventing those on the other side from com

ing over here ?
S o have alien idea s alien systems alien customs break
, , ,
~
ing in through her embankment s dashed upon India in a ,
multitudinous fl ood making vi sible breaches in all the

,
1 16 R A B I N DRA N A T H T AGORE
of this vast society overwhelmed with futility In par .
ticular the very ba si s o f our marr 1age system having been

,
undermined there is no longer any harmony o f adj ust

,
ment between the underlying ideals and the actual fact s

of our modern marriages O ne section of our people
.
keeps crying out for a return o f the S a tya-yuga but that ,
golden age refuses to re sp ond to their call The time has .

,
therefore come for us to think out our problems afresh

, ,
to correlate our thoughts and conclusions with those of

all humanity .
The gulf O f separation which N ature has contrived b e

tween the s exes h as preserved in its atmo sphere the varied
play o f a p owerful mutual attraction This force which .
is creative— but destructive as well— continually sends its

awakening message to our soul s from behind the veil If .
we screen o ff so ciety from its forceful activity that may ,
conduce to its own safety but will surely reduce it to

passivity In our language we call the p ower of woman
.
over man by the name of sh akti Deprived of sh akti the .
creative process in society langui shes and man losing his , ,
vitality becomes mechanical in h is habit s In such a case

,
.
,
though he may still retain many a pa ssive quality all ,
energy of activit y forsakes him The manner in which the

.
relation s between the sexes have been regulated in our

countr y has left no room for the action o f this sh akti for ,
as we have seen our society with immoveable stability as

, ,
its Obj ective has been busy cultivating the pa ssive quali
,
tie s ever in dread of individual forcefulness Now that

, .
o ur country has awakened to out side influences she finds ,
herself powerle ss to re sist alien aggres sion S he has even .
lo st the faculty of recognizing that her weakness proceeds

from within her own social s ystem and is not the outcome
o f any outward accident .
In every society its civilization is the territory con

,
T HE I ND IA N I DEA L OF MARR I AGE 1 17
quered in its contest with N ature A nd since in our coun .
try thi s contest was long and bitter everywhere we find ,
its fences more in evidence than its road s But that .
there was once a good reason for this state of thing s does
not help to save her when the reason has ceased to exist .
Her barriers which formerly protected her from the

,
intrusion of outsiders now impri s on her

,
.
It seem s that in the age which h as now come upon us .
man is giving up t h e desperate hope Of \v ictor i ously main

taining thi s constant st r uggle He wou ld n ow make h is
.
peace with N ature— and that duty has b een entrusted to

science But the marriage sy stem of every s ociety b e
.
longs to an age when in the parliament of life man was

, ,
sitting on the oppo sition benches against N ature s gov ’
er n men t And N ature has ever retaliated against h is

.
obstructive tactics Thu s far they have nowhere come to

.
any satisfactory agreement That is why the se ubiqui

.
tous attempts at th e external regulation of man s mo st ’
intimate relations have been in sulting his be st feelings and

degrading the greate st of h is institutions all over the ,
world .
me as an individual Indian O ff er in conclu sion my

E
T
, ,
own personal contribution to the di scu ssion o f the

marriage question generally .
There are two parallel activities in the human world ,
the one which carries forward the stream of p opulation ;

the other the civilization of man The first chiefly b e
, .
longs to the realm O f life and the second to that of mind

,
.
In the creation of progeny man s part though essential ’

, ,
is secondary A fter he has once roused the passive seed

.
in woman s keeping to vital activity all the travail of

’
,
Child —bearing and parturition are hers alone It is b e .
cause of this comparative lightness o f the male function

1 18 RA B IN DR A N A T H T AGORE
in the propagation of the species that we find instances of
th e killing O ff o f superfluou s males in the in sect world and
of the keeping down o f the number of male beasts by
internecine struggle s due to the savage j ealou sy which is
their Characteristic— showing the minor importance o f this
sex for the purpose o f biological creation .
But when mind evolved itself into greatness man ,
found the opportunity to gain glory for his sex in the

scheme of human development For while woman r e .
mained entangled in the specific duties which life had

assigned to her man with his greater freedom therefrom
, , ,
was able to re spond to the call o f his intellect and engage

—
in variou s works of creation in the world of mind in fact
he created the sphere of his own usefulness In this the .
,
first chapter Of civilization when mind was in the ascend

,
ant woman in her turn dropped into the second place

, ,
not only as less useful but even as an actual impediment ;

,
for the world which was her special creation constantly

s ought to thro w its toils around the adventurous spirit of
man as well This comparative unimportance of woman

.
in the birth —stage of civilization clings to her still That .
is wh y the rebellious section O f womankind would curtail

her responsibilities in the region of life in order to enable
her to claim equality with man in the work Of his creation
of society .
O pportunities however cannot be artificially created

, ,
.
The propensities of heart strongly ingrained in woman s

,
’
nature cannot be dislodged b y attacks from the outside

,
.
The tendency o f these propensities of hers are toward

holding fast and not progre ssing onward S O it is only by
, .
adherence to the cult of preservation that woman can

attain her true welfare If sh e desperately engages in
.
adventurous pursuits she will at every step come into

,
conflict with her Own inner nature ; and thus constantly dis
RA B I N DRA N A T H T AGORE
upheld if the emotion of woman and the intellect of man
are contributed in u sual sh ares for its purposes Then .
their respective contributions may combine gloriou sly in

ever— fresh creations and t h eir di ff erence will no longer
,
make for inequality .
Woman let me repeat has two aspects in one she is

, ,
—
the mother ; in the other the beloved I have already
,
.
spoken of the spiritual endeavour that characterizes the

first ; namely, the striving not merely for giving birth to
,
h er child ,
but for creating the be s t po ssible Child — not as
an addition to the number o f men but as one o f the ,
heroic souls who may win victory in man s eternal fight ’
against evil in his social life and natural surroundings As .
the beloved it is woman s part to infuse life into all the

,
’
a spirations of man ; and the spiritual p ower that enables

her to do so I have called ch ar m and was known in ,
India by the name o f sh akti .
There is a p oem called Ananda lah ar i ( T h e S tr ea m -
o
f D e li h t )
g attributed,
to S hankar ach a rya S he who is .
glorified therein is the sha kti in the heart of the Universe ,
th e G iver of Joy the Inspirer of A ctivity

,
O n the on e .
hand we know and use the world ; on the other we are

, ,
related to it by ties of disinterested j oy We can know .
the world becau se it is a manifestation o f truth : we rej oice

“
in it because it is an expres sion of j oy Who would have .
” “
striven for life says the Rishi if this dnanda ( j oy ) had
, ,
” “
not filled the sky ? It seems to me that the Intellectual
Beauty whose praise s S helley has sung is identical with
”
this dnanda A nd it is thi s same a nan da which the p oet of

'
A nan d a—lah ar i has visualized as the woman ; that is to

say in his view this universal sh akti is manife st in human
, ,
society in the nature of woman In thi s manifestation is .
her charm L et no one confuse this shakti with mere

.
”
sweetness for in thi s charm there is a combination 0
,
T HE I ND I A N I DEA L OF MARRI AGE 12 1
—
several qualities patience , self abnegation , s ensitive in
-
l
te gli en ce,
grace in thought ,
word ,
and behaviour — the
reticen t expression of rhythmic life the tenderne ss and ,
terribleness o f love ; at its core moreover is that self

, ,
radiant spirit of delight which ever gives it self up .
This sh akti this j oy—giving power of woman as the b e

,
loved has up to now largely been dissipated by the greed

,
of man who has sought to use it for the purp oses of his
,
individual enj oyment corrupting it confining it ! like h is

, ,
property within j ealou sly guarded limits That has also

,
.
Obstructed for woman herself her inward realization of

the full glory of her own sh akti Her per s onality has .
been insulted at every turn by being made to display its

power o f delectation within a circumscribed arena It is .
because she has not found her true place in the great
world that she sometimes tries to capture man s special ’
estate as a desperate means Of coming into her own But .
it is not by coming out Of her home that woman can gain

her liberty H er liberation can only be e ff ected in a
.
society where her true s h akti her a nanda is given the

’
, ,
widest and highe st scope for its activity M an has already .
achieved the means Of self expansion in public activity

-
without giving up his individual concerns Whe n like .

,
wise any society shall be able to O fier a larger field f or

,
the creative work Of woman s special faculty without de

’
,
tracting from her creative work in the home then in such ,
society will the true union o f man and woman become

possible .
The marriage system all over the world from the ,
earliest ages till now is a barrier in the way O f such true

,
union That is why woman s sh akti in all existing socie

.
’
,
ties is so shamefully wasted and corrupted That is why

, .
in every country marriage is still more or less of a prison

house for the confinement Of woman—with all its guards
R A B I N DR A NA T H T AGORE
wearing the badge of the dominant male That is why .
man, by dint o f his e ff orts to bind woman has made her

,
the strongest Of fetters for his own bondage That is .
why woman is debarred from adding to the spiritual

wealth O f society by the perfection of her own nature and ,
all human societies are weighed down with the burden of

the resulting p overty .
The Civilization o f man has n ot up to now loyally

, ,
recognized the reign o f the spirit Therefore the married

.
s tate is still o n e o f the most fruitful sources o f the un
happiness and downfall of man of his disgrace and

,
humiliation But those wh o believe that society 13 a

.
manifestation of the spirit will as suredly not rest in their

endeavours till they have rescued human marriage rela
ti o n S f r om outrage by the brute forces of society—till they
'
have t h ereby given free play to the force o f love in al l

the concerns of humanity .
1 24 R I C H ARD W ILH E L M
l
cip e, no limit is set to th e expansion of the clan In the .
holy edict of the E mperor Kanghsi a family is mentioned ,
where such harmony prevailed that nine generations dwelt

happily together and even the dogs lived in such uni son
that they all a ssembled at common meal —time s .
M ost Chinese village communities have developed out

of a clan which has later been j oined by one or two
others This is indicated by the names of the villages
.
,
which are mo stly compounded as in G erman with words , ,

” —“
“
like home ” “ “
house or residence
, ,
Village of the
Wang family ” “
Home o f the L i family etc O ne of
,
”
,
.
the be st examples of the way in which these clans could

expand is found in Kufu the native place of Kungtse , ,
where even today the maj orit y of the inhabitant s belong

to the Kung family which is the oldest noble family in
,
the world Its genealogy can be traced back authentically

.
to the royal house that ceased to reign about I 1 00 B C . .
The clan is built up on the strictly moral relations that

exi st between father and son elder and younger brothers , ,
and husband and wife These date back to very early

.
times and were codified by Confucius These relation s .
depended on a sense of mutual duty It is the father s .

’
duty to be benevolent ; the son must venerate his father ;

the elder brother mu st be provident the younger brother ,
obedient the hu sband con siderate and the wife sub mis
, ,
s ive . O n these relations which are dependent on natural

,
family instincts is based the entire social order For in

, .
reality the relations between ruler and servant and b e

tween friends are only a continuation and proj ection of
family duties applied to society and the state The mo st .
important of these ethical principles is the son s venera ’
tion of his father Thi s characterizes the clan as an essen

.
ti ally patriarchal institution .
Furthermore the social foundation of the clan or

,
T HE C H I NES E C O N C EP TI O N OF MARR I AGE 1 25
family rests in the religious principle o f ancestor worship .
The clan is not only a unit in space ; it is one with the

past generations The ancestors are th ought O f as taking
.
part in the family s weal and woe P erhap s originally

’
.
it was held that the ance stor was reincarnated in the grand
child The old custom according to which the grandchild
.
,
has to act as the ance stor s incarnation at the s acrificial

’
repast point s to this A s time went on , noble families

,
.
tried to prolong the personal existence o f their ancestors

by establishing special cults Three fiv e seven or even .
, , ,
nine generations of ancestors were venerated according to ,
the status of the family But the ancestors were always

.
placed according to their generations some toward the ,
light ( on the north side of the ancestors temple ) and ’
others away from it ( on the south side of the temple ) .
O nly the chief ancestor of the king s family is given the ’
same rank a s the god of heaven i e originally they were ,

. .
,
thought to be identical ; that is why the monarch was

known as the S on O f Heaven The other ancestors unless .
,
they had rendered some special service to the family ,
were superseded once their time had come From very

, .
early times at least from the age of Confucius ancestor s

, ,
have played a rather abstract part in the life o f China ;

they have in a way been the religious repre sentatives of
the idea of the clan They were absolutely dependent on
.
the clan s continuing to live and on their being o ff ered

’
the appropriate sacrifice by the living head of the family .
His wife stood by his side to perform certain ofli ces while ,
the younger generations had appointed duties to fulfil at

the sacrificial ceremony This explains how it became the
.
principal duty of the Chine se whose religion was built ,
up on the clan idea to have mal echildren in order to

,
secure the continuation o f the family and promote its

welfare and activity in the future ; t h ey were also ex
1 26 R I C H ARD W ILH EL M
p ecte d, by means of appropriate sacrifices to let the an ,
cestor s participate in thi s future prosperity .
From thi s point of view w e can best understand the

Chines e idea of marriage The marriage bond between
man and woman that is to say a lasting communion is ani
.
, ,
integral part Of the higher unit of th e clan .
regard to the se a ss ociations does marriage acquire

tial meaning The natural basis O f ma
.
relation of the sexes is neither denied

E rotici sm h as never been looked upon
ing or sinful S ex passion as such is appreciated
.
con straint as a natural in stinct j ust as the other ,
are O n the other hand it is not given a myster

.
,
sacred meaning nor is it looked upon as somethi

,
worsh ipped but simply as the human and animal opera

,
tion of the tw o primeval cosmic forces the creative and r e ,
cep tiv e corre sponding to heaven and earth expansion in

, ,
time and concentration in space Pa ssion in it self is neither .
good nor evil ; only wh en it is uncontrolled and exagger

ated does it become evil j ust as every excess is evil ,
.
M oderation is the ethical requirement in regard to all

impulses It will be evident t h at in accordance with this
.
view of eroticism personal di ff erentiation of feeling ( and

,
thi s refer s mostly if not entirel y to man ) does not play?

, ,
a prominent part Chinese lyrics do not sing of the one

.
and only beloved that lives once and will never be found
,
a second time but of seeking and finding of happiness

, ,
and separation yearning and reunion or of loneliness and

, ,
renunciation Th i s al s o accounts for the fact that er oti-

.
q
cism does not occupy such a predominant place in Chine se
lyric poetry as it does in E uropean O ther forms of .
emotion such as the love between children and parents

,
o r between brother s and si sters are shown to possess ,
j ust as much pathos and to be capable of as fine a

128 R I C H ARD W ILH E LM
family matter A strict rule is that only member s of

.
families which po ssess di fl er ent names are allowed to

marry Up to the present day strict exogamy is a cu sto m
.
in China I f a young man were to marry h is cousin on

.
h is father s side it Would be looked upon as incest

’
As .
regards a relation in the female line more lenien ,
shown The bride leaves her father s family and e ’

.
t h at o f her future hu sband A s this almo st invar .
happens— for nearly everybody marries as celibacy i ,
held in any esteem— so even at her birth the

with a di ff erent reception ; whereas the ance stors
formed with rej oicing when a son is born this is ,
in the ca se O f a daughter In other respect s also .
is treated preferentially Thi s doe s not h ow ever ;

,
t h at the parents love their daughters less The legend .
that the Chine se make it a regular practice to murder their

female children has for some considerable time found dis
credit O ne thing however is true that the daughter is
.
, , ,
educated for another s family and not for her own ’

.
This significance Of marriage plays a deci sive part in

the choice o f a wife The propo sal must come from the
.
man s family It is not done directly but by the media

’
.
,
tion of friends or relative s N either the wealth nor the .
nobility of the bride s family are deci sive factor s for

’
,
property cannot be transferred through a daughter but

remains in her family which she leaves on marriage A ,
.
man seeks a girl who se family conditions are about the

same as h i s so that there is a p o ssibility of her readily
,
settling down In the case of friendly families it often ,

.
happens that the Children are betrothed when they are

quite small in order to cement the friendship The rea
,
.
son for employing a mediator is that by this means if ,
the suit is rej ected personal a fl r ont may be avoided and

, ,
that the virtues o f the two wards can be spoken of by the

T HE C H I N ES E C O N C E P TI O N OF MARR I AGE 1 29
mediator without self praise The significance of mar

-
.
r iage demand s that the engagement s hould receive the
sanction o f the co s mic force s Horoscope s are cast and .
compared If these prove sati sfactory the marriage may

.
,
take place There is an o ld saying that the Old man in

.
the moon in earliest childhood binds with invi sible thread

the feet of those who are intended for one another .
If the astral and other preliminary conditions are satis

factory the engagement takes place with an interchange
,
of records and bridal present s The giving o f presents .
has degenerated into something very similar to marriage

by purcha se Thi s was certainly not the original inten
.
tion The gifts were intended to loo se the girl s bond

.
’
with her ancestors so that she might be free to enter her

,
new family A ll these formalities are both numerous and

.
cumbersome I t is considered proper that the man s court

.
’
ship should be met with hesitation Finally the day o f .
the wedding is determined Then , in accordance with .
certain other cu stoms that have to be Observed the bride ,
i —
groom fetches his bride n a gaily decorated s edan chair ,
an d they proceed amid a festive escort from her p a rents

’
house to his The wedding always takes place in the

.
bridegroom s hou se as a family occurrence which has its

’
,
significance in the present and the future The bride .
comes veiled in red The marriage ceremony consi sts of

.
drinking together out o f two cups that are tied to each

other with red string the mutual veneration Of the man s
,
’
parents the mutual veneration of the p owers of heaven

,
and earth and the solemn presentation O f the bride at

,
the tablets of the ancestors The bride enter s her new .
home veiled O nly after the marriage ceremony h as

.
been completed are the veils removed and she is now , ,
at lea st according to theory seen for the first time by the

,
bridegroom .
R I C H ARD W ILHELM
In accordance with the fact that marriages are contracted

more in the interests of the Clan than of the participants ,
they Often take place in early youth and bridegroom and ,
bride are about the same age In country district s the bad .
practice aro se when t h ere was a shortage of hands at

,
harvest time o f getting one s son married in order to

,
’
secure a daughter —in—law as a labourer Usually a capable .
grown up woman was Cho sen even if the bridegroom was

-
,
still quite a child That this custom led to certain nu

.
healthy consequences is not surprising seeing that in the ,
country the male and female members of the clan lived

in a very Close union ; thus again and again we find this
pernicious practice o f child-marriage fought by new laws
and ordinances .
As regards the relation o f the married couple to one

another in Chinese marriage the hou sewife has more
,
freedom than i s generally the ca se in Japanes e marriages .
In Japan the wife is a graceful selfless and devoted slave

, , ,
o f the ma ster of the hou se and to be charming is the ideal ,
that the girls are educated up to In the Chinese family .
a di ff erence is als o made in the treatment of the future

husbands and wive s An o l d song tell s o f the di ff erent
.
lucky signs re specting the birth of children When the .
ma ster Of the h ouse dreams of bears it signifies the birth ,
of sons ; if he dream s of snakes it will be daughters T he , .
song then continues :

S o n s w i ll b e b o rn u n to y o u ;
Th y w i ll l p
e s ee dy b d
on au
g e s,
A d b
n l th d
e c o i n c l ur d g
e o o e ar m en ts ;
Red ga r t s th y w i ll w
er e ea r ,
A n d th e y w i ll m k y u r h us
a e o o e f a m ou s by l
thei r r u e .
D ught s w ill b b
a er un t
y u; e or n o o
Th y w i ll l p up n th
e th ;s ee o e ea r
Th y w i ll b w pp d i n sw ddl in g l
e e ra e a c oth es ;
132 RI C H ARD W ILH E LM
law Here certainly are great difli culties It is perhaps

.
, ,
.
not merely due to ch ance t h at the Chinese hieroglyphic for

”
“
peace i s a woman under a roof .
For the proper under standing of marriage thi s qualifi

cation is important The relation O f the brothers to one
.
another in side the clan stands foremo st The edict O f .
the E mperor Kanghsi states that they should not allow

“
their harmony to be dissolved by the fooli sh words O f
” “ ”
the women for women s words sever flesh and bone
,
’
.
It should also be remembered that the marriage union

does not imply an independent Owner ship of property in
its full extent The property ina smuch as it is u sed for
.
,
the maintenance of the clan all belongs to the clan as a

,
whole on a communistic basis Its utilization and con .
s umption is determined by the head o f the clan who is ,
a ssi sted in its di stribution to the variou s households within

it by all the grown up member s -
S trictly speaking .
,
private propert y within the Clan only consi sts in article s

of utility It is evident that thi s common Ownership of
.
property i s only p ossible in the country Town life also .
had the e ffect in China of splitting up th e Clans into small

families which then become proletarianized i e disin
, ,
. .
,
tegr ate d
. But in China this process w as confined to the
outer edges O f the cultural system .
A nother question ari se s regarding th e relation o f the

marriage partners to one another O ne might imagine .
that life in common o f complete stranger s of all sort s of

di ff erent temperaments would lead to innumerable em
b r oilments .In reality thi s is not the case It cannot be .
as serted that even the most per s onal E uropean marriage

based entirely o n mutual a ff ection is any happier or more
peaceful than Chinese marriage which rests on parental ,
authorit y . In fact the reverse is u sually the case

, .
Divorce w as much more rare in ancient China than in

T HE C H I NE S E C O N C EP TI O N OF MARR I AGE 1 33
modern E urope There are several reasons for this the

.
,
main on e being the great similarity of per s onalities which ,
do not expres s themselves according to individual taste ,
but according to strict social rules Consequently it doe s

.
not make much di ff erence to a man which wom a n he mar

’
f
ries for they are all more or less alike M ore I mp o rtant
,
.
by far than individual di ff erences are those of educatio n

and milieu A well -educated young man o f good family
.
is sure if not o f a pa ssionately happy married life at

, ,
least o f peaceful felicity with a woman o f his own educa

,
tion , if there is good will on both sides This is made .
easier by the fact that both members o f the newly married

couple live in a family circle where each h as his special
task and work M arriage is simpler becau se it is les s
.
problematic ; it is not so much an ep och as an episode .
This at least applies to the man For the woman .

,
naturally an entirely n ew life commences with marriage

,
.
But in thi s the hu sband is not the only determining factor ;

other member s of the clan play a part as well The free .
outlook in China on sex question s does not leave it to

demimondaines to attract and fa scinate men G irls of .
good family also learn both to adorn and make them

selve s plea sing P owder and paint are freely used The
. .
half shy half roguish glance , the suppressed titter and

,
modest blushes are weapons not unknown to Chine se

women The binding o f their feet which i s now for
.
,
bidden was primarily intended as an erotic enticement

,
.
“ ”
The golden lotu s flowers and the gracefully wavering
walk were considered alluring Thi s is the motive for
.
regarding the woman s foot as an immodest subj ect for

’
—
conversation for in the pre sence of ladies in China on e
“ ”
may not even mention the word shoe .
How ever one must admit that love in all its intensity
,
o f pa ssion and pain s carcely ever makes its appearance in

1 34 I H ARD
R C WILHELM
the tranquil conditions of Chinese marriage But it .
h appen that the h u sband seeks to satisfy his aesthetic

s ires and impulses If he has a wise wife sh e will
.
,
h im without evincing j ealousy and wil ,
his beloved into the family To meet such cases the idea
.
,
of the sub sidiary wife was instituted The less envious a .
woman is in this respect—and a good wife should never

be j ealous— the less will the new liaison influence the
stable and practical love between husband and wife .
Where the wife does not p ossess this wi sdom it f r e ,
quently happens that the hu sband seeks his pleasure out

side his house O r i f he makes use o f his prerogative and
.
brings his love into the house a dangerous situation may

,
easily ari se in which the wife fears her husband the sub
, ,
sidiar y wife fears the former and the husband goes In

,
awe of h is subsidiary wife In discu ssing Chinese mar

.
r i age this part o f the subj ect cannot well be left out A .
certain amount of delicacy is required to understand it

properly These conditions are however by n o means
.
, ,
the general rule By far the great maj ority o f Chinese

.
marriages are monogamic O nly in the higher and

.
wealthier circles is the attempt made to res olve certain

matrimonial di fficulties in this open and considerate man
ner.
The sphere o f experiences which the Chinese form of

marriage can embrace is very wide In unfavourable cir .
cumstan ces ,
marriage in China as elsewhere is an , ,
organized hell A heartless woman not only destroys her

.
husband s peace but harasses the whole clan to which she

’
belongs and can even caus e its destruction The worst

, .
tyrants of Chines e legend and history were as a rule

spurred on to commit their abominations and follies by a
beautiful but heartless woman M ore than on e dynasty .
came to grief in this fashion But as a rule , under the

.
1 36 R I C H ARD W I LH E L M
of great love and fidelity that approach heroism .
wife who remains immutably true to her ab sent hu

and take s his place in the life o f the family in fact ,
his family by laying down her Own life is not an i ,
quent case It also happens occasionally that the

.
becomes the man s comrade sharing his troubles hel

’
, ,
forward h is work comforting him when he is torme

,
b y self—doubt steadying him when he would go too

,
in a word, working and creating with him , and

same time su ff ering for him and planning so that he s
always have a tender and motherly care bestowed

h i m o n his return from the battles O f the day I .
supreme relation ,
where marriage becomes a kind
friendship in which two people complement on e another
,
and incite each other to progress they build up together

,
a world which in its turn change s the world E ven in the .
legendary times o f old women of this kind are found

,
.
They sit by their husbands in the saddle and are at his

s ide to act as ministers The E mperor Wen said : I have
.
“
”
ten tru stw orthy ministers and on e of them i s my wife
,
.
B ut these conditions do not apply to ancient times only .
The mothers o f many o f the famous men of China were

examples o f such wives who not only made marriage
,
beautiful by their goodness and wi sdom but at death hon ,
out ed their hu sbands memor y b y their manner o f life

’
.
A de scription of Chine se marriage would be incomplete

without outlining the relation of the children to their
parents When the woman bears her first son, she is
.
“ ”
looked upon with love and respect as a full matron .
That is why wife and child are not only an indispen sable
part of the family but even of marriage itself C onse
, .
quently the relation of the parents to the children is a

part of th e natural order A ccording to theor y the educa
.
,
tion O f th e ch ild s h ould commence prenatally What the .

TH E C H I NE S E C O N C EP TI O N OF MARR I AGE 137
woman does thinks and feels during her pregnancy influ

, ,
en ces the child in her womb It is related of many .
mothers o f famous men that with the utmost care and

devotion they helped with their purest thought s to fa shion , \
the holy thing intrusted them The children nat urally .
belong both to the father and mother They are loved .
and well cared for There is a much more intimate rela

.
tion between the mother and children than is usually the

case in E urope N 0 sch ool comes between the children
.
and parents but they grow up in the parents hou se and

,
’
,
its influence works on them imperceptibly and involun

tar ily without any special pedagogic measures
,
In earlier .
days parents were accustomed to exchange their sons when

they were of the right age for purp oses of instruction , ,
so that the necessary di scipline s hould not be exercised by

members o f the same family and so vitiate the love b e
tween children and parents For marriage and family .
life in China are built up o n a great and beautiful

harmony which makes his native land so dear to every
,
Chinaman .
N owhere is the deepest significance of marriage and

family life better expressed t h an in the words of Con
f ucius in h is commentary in the B ook of Tr ansf or ma
“ ”
ti ons on the Sign of the clan :
T he l
c an T h e i n w ar d spher e i s appr opr i at e to w o ma n , th e
.
ex ter n a l t o m a n Tha t man a n d w o man ha v e their appoin ted

.
pl ac es i s N a tu r e s gr ea t est c o n c eptio n
’
Ther e a r e str ic t master s .
a mon
g th e m emb er s o f th e c l a n : th ese a r e th e pa r en ts W h en i n .
ver ity the f a ther i s a f a ther , a n d the son a son , a n d the eld er
b rother a n eld er b r o ther , a n d th e youn ger b r oth er a youn ger
b r other , the hus b d
an a h us a nb d ,
a n d th e w if e a w if e, then ind d ee
is th e h o use i n the r i ht w a
g y . By b uild i n g th e h o use on a s un d
o
d
f oun ati on , th e w or ld i s ma d e secur e.
C O U N T P A U L T H U N H O H E N S T E IN -
T he M a rri a ge o f C o n v en ti o n i n E u rop e
An O pen L etter to Count Keyserling
Dear Count Keyserling
invite me to contribute to your B o ok of M ar r i age

Y an essay on conventional marriage ( S tandeseh e )
OU
“ ” 1
.
In order that I may accord with the key note to which -
the entire work is attuned and to which in spite of its , ,
polyphonic modulations it should always return you , ,

“ ”
furnish me with a definition o f conventional marriage
( S tan d eseh e ) as you understand it and would have it
,
understood and as your introductory essay proclaims it

,
“
By conventional marriage I mean in accordance with
‘ ’
,
its original and correct sense , marriage as the body o f a

specific ethos the ethos of a definite cultural order of a
, ,
definite standing in the cosmos A s a corollary, it also

‘ ’
.
sets the blood limits within which the choice o f partners

is in each case permissible Heredity is only incidentally .
a decisive factor because marriage as opposed to mona

,
chism aims at the perpetuation and rai sing o f stock to a

”
standard determined by spiritual ideals That is your .
definition I have inwardly digested and thought the

.
matter over carefully and intend to expand this concep

,
tion o f conventional marriage to its very depths and

heights Further I will attempt b y means o f in tr osp ec
.
,
tion to apprehend and investigate this ( as it seems to me )

1 By “
con v en ti o n a l ma r r i a g e ( S ta n d es eh e ) i s mea nt th e tr a i ti on a ld
ma r r i a ge o f co n v enti on, mo r e es ec i a p lly l
i n i ts c u tur a l a nd eth i c a l a s ect p .
1 38
1 40 C OU N T PAU L TH U N H O H E N S T E I N -
grows .
Consequently, it can signify only something
similar to wh at is understood as culture by the Indians or
Chinese Culture which is transplanted to a foreign soil
.
deteriorates to civilization Its ethos can only po sse ss .
deep roots where it grew and ripened and found its

natural habitation ; where it is not an empty fabrication of
the mind but a living tree which spreads its arching
,
branches as far as ever its roots stretch under the earth .
The ethos of marriage has its roots lodged in the earth

and is most intimately associated with N ature It is built .
up on the innate nature of the darkest o f all human pas

s ion s,
and in its operation it should never deny this
natural quality Thus marriage represents a definite
.
status for its origin is not due to any social order no mat
, ,
ter how primitive or vitally permanent but it is a part of ,
the co smic order the destiny of mankind But in the

,
.
social sense too I recognized only a status or class ( S tand )

in the real the universal meaning o f the words where
, , ,
their roots encircle man s sphere and are deeply and surely
’
fixed in our earth and consequently where to desert the

,
maternal soil would be irrational P easant s nobles and .

, ,
kings constitute real classes The other group

ings into so called Classes ( and this is the tendency at
-
present more than ever due to the stress of competition )

,
are only organized professions To be a pea sant a noble , .

,
or a king is an organic vocation The private merchant .
and indu striali st the private scholar— that is to say pro

, ,
f essi on al men who treat life theoretically play fully or as ,

—
a hobby are easily conceivable because they actually ,
exi st ; whereas the pea sant without a homestead the ,
nobleman cut O ff from the countr yside in which he grew

up th e king without a kingdom or subj ects are in reality
, ,
inconceivable Yes station or rank only denotes one s

.
,
’
position in a definite natural and cultural order When it .

T HE MARR I AGE OF C O NVEN TI O N IN E URO P E 14 1
fulfils this meaning when it keeps its Obj ect always in

,
sight in the spirit as well as in the letter then only does

, ,
the blood and tissue of its race remain vital The body .
which is inspired by a spiritual purpose cannot degenerate ,
degeneracy meaning the equivalent of r idicIi Te in the

bodily sphere Here, in my opinion is the secret of the
.
,
preservation o f races of hoary antiquity in the character

of peasantry nobility and royalty These have not
, ,
.
avoided inbreeding which tends to cause degeneration but

, ,
on the contrary Often seemed to foster it ; yet they con

tin ue to exi st becau s e their life is significant whereas all
, ,
other male lines usually perish within three generations .
Where the spirit o f a con scious order or class is not bent

o n the life o f the day but for its maintenance o n a distant
future the natural qualities that are particular to a real

,
class ( S tand ) receive a special significance that amount s

almost to a mystical charm Ju st as a deeply religious
.
soul through its ab s olute consciousness of the divinity of

,
Christ acquires a mystical ecstasy in reflecting on His

,
purely human growth and development and His earthly

parentage or j u st as the human motherhood of the Virgin
M ary always urges us to consider and express anew that
most delicate of all secret s because the extreme antithesi s
,
which it contains symbolizes the contradictions that occur

in our own lives and which are resolved b y thi s symb oliza
,
tion : so in the high orders or clas ses which depend en

tir ely o n their ethos the naturally human attributes have
,
from the very beginning been surrounded b y an intrinsic

charm which convert s the mo st natural manifestation into
something unique and wonderful How has this come .
about ? O nly through thi s has it first been able to fulfil

its profound significance .
When at the commencement o f her reign M aria

Theresa hard pre ssed by her enemie s made her appear
, ,
1 42 C OU N T PAU L T H U N H O H E N S T EI N
'
ance before the Hungarian nobles who demanded an

armi stice and speedy as sistance sh e bore her eldest son on
,
her arm Th is apparition of queen and mother i mmedi

.
atel y won the hearts of the waverers and gave ri se not

only to the famou s cry M or iamur pr é r ege
“ ‘
,
but
also led to concerted action The p ower o f this plastic
.
representation and the deep charm o f its significance has

become a symbol o f the Hungarian nation A nd .
N apoleon I I I remarked bitterly after the battle of

.
S ol f er in o z What is the use o f victory when the E mperor

“
,
of Au stria entering Vienna at the head of his defeated

army will still be triumphantly welcomed ? Victory or
”
defeat in a higher sense it is ines sential which it is for all

, ,
depends on the ethos ; this alone reaches the heart o f

mankind in a thousand di ff erent ways .
The above may serve to all intents and purpose s as a

definition of what cla ss ( S tand ) essentially signifie s what ,
it has always signified in E urope The same can be taken .
as a foundation for the historical E uropean conception Of

conventional marriage ( S ta nd es eh e ) Here natural quali .
ties become parts o f a higher order A s however , only .

,
marriage understood in this sense fulfils its ultimate pur

pose it will be self evident that only in this form can it
,
-
receive the bles sing o f N ature O nly marriage s which.
comply with the conscious conception O f class ( S tand ) pre

serve the etho s o f a whole race and consequently its
vitality A nd ethos alone can preserve N ature I n spite
. .
of the annihilating tendency of the Diaspora , the Jews

all the world over have maintained their vitality because ,
their p owerful etho s was never allowed to become

quiescent or enfeebled but kept alive an ardent aspiration
,
w hich was transmitted from one generation to another by

means of con sciou s marriage ideals How wide spread the .
inbreeding and how slight the degeneracy ! In a similar

,
1 44 C OU N T PAU L TH U N H O H E NS T E I N
-
stan ced by the early marriage o f L ouis X V to a P olish .
noblewoman ? What did the complete reform of royal

morals lead to as w itnessed by the pedantic and fooli sh
, ,
yet moral life of L ouis X VI ? The spirit was dead the

,
.
,
vocation desecrated ; kingship and nobility were devoid o f

significance and consequently predestined to fall O f all .
thi s nothing h as remained clear through history except

the heroic conduct of the French noblewomen during the
revolutionary Terror as typified by the manner in which
,
M arie Antoinette went to the sca ff old ; for sh e knew

both how to live life beautifully and how to meet death
proudly S he was born in G ermany whose first families
.
,
had not yet lost their sense of duty and responsibility .
But then M aria Theresa and Frederick the G reat already

slept in their graves and Joseph I I had already given
,
.
vent to the ominous saying that he felt him self to be the

fir st servant of the state A nd out O f the dim but not too
.
remote past ro se the spectre o f Wallen stein wh o perhaps ,
had met his murderou s doom because he realized more

clearl y the mi ssion of th e G erman reigning hou se than its
members did them selves .
H
A VE I gone out of my way to write this to you ? I
believe not and feel convinced that you will un
,
der stand .
I spoke of decay It everywhere threatens the lofty

.
,
pinnacled creation s of the spirit which an old culture

fashions like slender spire s mounting heavenward The .
slightest damage done to the p oint of this s ensitive cul

tural instrument mak es it blunt and useless C onse .
quently the ideal can be kept pure and the in strument

sharp and true only by the cea seless labour of the many
who remain unknown to histor y But even this would not .
prevent its becoming schematic and decaying if new vi ,

TH E MARR I AGE OF C O NVE N TI O N I N E URO P E 1 45
tality were not continually given to it from natural

sources by mar r iage with the commingling of fresh blood
, ,
and the springing up o f new seed .
I will not intrude on the subj ect Of the ch oice o f part

ners to which , you wrote to me y ou wer e dEVO fing a
, ,
’
special essay But it is necessary to say a f ew w or dS h er e

‘
on the part woman plays in the evolution o f mankind .
G oethe once remarked that women are more concerned

“
than men about the meaning of continuity In life ( w as
um L eb en True to their nature they ,
always succeed in establishing thi s continuity, which in ,
spite of a completely changed habit of life , preserves the

connection with the past and yet leaves them free to see
the vi sion of the future This gives ample scope for the
.
maintenance and development o f an impelling train of

th ought and it will be evident that the higher the ideals
,
which a given status serves and evolves the more must it ,
depend for support on its women Children may be the

.
outcome of the most dissolute passion but they can be ,
properly reared only in a nursery where a h ealthv but

strict pedagogic method and a hearty spirit are prevalent .
This is only p os sible t o achieve where marriage re sts on a

rational and invigorating base and where befitting reserve
,
has built up a world Of proper reticence between the man

who wooed and the woman wh o gave A healthy mind .
establi shes the ethos of marriage but temperament is the

,
i nefl ab le product o f the human soul Both furni sh the

.
groping life of the child with its early purpose and com
prehension ; in a word with tr a diti on
,
.
Taking into con sideration the wonderful results o f

“ ”
the conscious application of conventional marriage are ,
the restrictions regarding choice of partner s the attaching ,
o f le s s importance to sensual love in a word the renuncia

, ,
tion which is an integral part of it anything but a j oyou s

,
1 46 C OU N T PAU L TH U N H O H E NS T E I N
-
and splendid sacrifice ? It is a renunciation that is verita

bly born of an ardent afli r mati on of life and its S ign ifi
cance There h a s been no great man Since the world
.
began who restri cted him self for th e term Of h is earthly

life to matters of self interest ; who would not have laid
-
down his life for his ideal and who did not practi se self
,
abnegation for the sake of something higher Whoever .
is inspired by the ethos O f his class to ch oose aright the

partner with whom he is to mingle his life— blood and thus
uphold the tradition which his children will inherit and
grow up in and in turn pass on is assured, by this triple
,
principle of j oy and heroism

,
.
It is indeed incomprehensible why the idea of breeding

and pure stock should have led to so much general mi sun
der stan ding It may be due to the fact that It Is i n sti n ct1v e
.
and innate and thus not easily accessible to the intellect

,
.
Furthermore the upper clas ses soon began to speak o f it

and treat it more like a rigid principle than a vital self ,
evident postulate A s early as the seventeenth century it

.
was the custom in G ermany to exaggerate the importance

—
of genealogical trees those ever —fl owing fonts of tradi
tion The statutes o f noble families were drawn up and
.
accession to estate and property made a condition o f their

enactment and in case of marriage proof of ancestry was
, ,
required A nd when in the eighteenth century a scientific

.
toying with genealogy took p ossession o f the nobility an ,
arbitrary and rigorous interpretation o f these statutes led

to distortion This great vocation of developing humanity
.
was gradually degraded into an ornamental play and the ,
disregard of serious hereditary principles brought about

degeneration But h ow was it that in general ruling
.
, ,
families escaped this fate ? Because their mi ssion was

Often stronger than they were themselves and thus r e
tained its vitality ; because they were borne up by the high
1 48 C OU N T PAU L TH U N H O H E N S T E I N
-
personally for pride of family and station give him a

,
yearning beyond his own forgotten exi stence A nd so .
does the peasant for he a ssumes responsibility for the

,
holy heritage o f the homestead and in his turn hands it on .
In all t hese forms o f life woman takes an intimate and

,
essential par t Because here it is a question as it were

.
, ,
of cosmic claSsi fication which is inherent in the economy

O f the universe ; marriage essentially means to her partici
p a ti on in the life -ethos of man

T h a t i s th e si gn i cance o
.
fi f
“ ” “ ”
conventi on a l i n th e only tr ue s ense of cultur a l mar
r i ag e
. And in my opinion n o other form o f association
deserve s the title of marriage at all for it cannot convey
,
“
the wonderful meaning contained in the word marriage .
For other forms a monstrou s word coined by a modern

,
s ociologi st i s apt : H a usr a t—

G emein schaft ( community o f
household goods ) .
UT now it is high time for me to di sclo se the deeper

B significance o f what I have written and to prove that
I am not endeavouring to pile up a great tower O f broken
masonry ; no but to continue to work at what has already
,
for ages been a mighty edifice in our G erman world of

culture This is the great mis sion of the present the
.
,
ideal o f the future I have spoken o f a cla ss ethos by

.
,
means of which all traditions become significant Let me .
now further explain what the true manifestation o f thi s

ethos is in the G erman people and Teutonic culture as a
whole .
Teutonism first appeared where it came in conflict with

R ome The aristocratic idealism o f the young and v ig
.
or ous Teutonic race oppo sed the orderly centripetal

civic conception of the R oman E mpire And where it .
came to an actual struggle the R oman legionary one of

, ,
TH E MARR I AGE OF C O NVE N TI O N I N E U RO P E '
1 49
many, the part of a mas s conception stood against the ,
single independent warrior quantity ver su s quality O n

, .
—
the one side the world wide conception o f Citizenship of
,
the R oman E mpire ; o n the other the di scipline and cul ,
tiv ati on o f massed strength and energy which forced the

individual to make use o f his whole per s onality And .
later on what were the Carlovingians but rebellious v as

,
sals , the rude usurpers o f the legitimate M erovingian

dynasty ? Y et they do not stand in the history o f the
West as examples o f di sloyalty and treachery Is thi s .
the case only because they were successful ? Certainly

not , but loyalty to themselves requiring the introduction
,
o f the entire personality was stronger in them than the

,
hereditary relation to a reigning house in which the idea

of rulership no longer exi sted and which it was i mp os ,
sible for vigorou s men to serve wholeheartedly Aga 1n .
in the Ni belungenli ed we see portrayed a princely house

who se strength has been sapped Hagen is grimly loyal .
to it ; V olker the musician is his only friend ; thus the

, ,
heart holds to an ethos that all the others did but f ear ,
for what can the heart achieve without ethos ? It leads

to the most empty thing in all the world : sentimentality .
In the Danube at B ech elar en Hagen made the test : he

, ,
knew now that none o f the N ibelungs would ever see thei r
native land again He is the only one wh o po ssesses thi s
.
knowledge an d yet he leads his royal h ouse to a sure

,
death because loyalty is more to him than life more

, ,
even than the lives t o which his loyalty is pledged .
K riemhild has transcended the honour of her body and

life out of loyalty to S iegfried and has become Etz el s ’
spouse in order to as semble new forces to avenge hi s death .
—
L oyalty above death above one s Own life indeed a ’
,
treacherous truenes s which is perhap s incomprehensible

,
- —
to every non Teuton but it is all the deeper for that tak ,
15 0 C OU N T PAU L TH U N H O H EN S T E I N -
ing on it self all the blame and acclaiming the ultimate

tragedy of life .
Where the Teutonic spirit became paired with a foreign

element the unexpected and wonderful were sure to
,
happen The staunchness O f its loyalty and courage had

.
in conj unction with G allic buoyancy e stabli shed the idea

of the Crusade s one of the most powerful conceptions in
,
the hi stor y of th e O ccident In the M aid of O rleans , the .
courage and faith to loyalty rose above adherence to reign

ing power s .
—
Two of my examples which came t o me unsought
are women Thi s is not chance ; in such grave matters
.
chance h as no place I am now coming to one of the .
mo st fundamental phenomena of the Teutonic character ,
the nature O f woman The Teuton see s a higher form .
in h is loyalty to woman than to him self S he has always .
appeared to him phy sically weaker and thus requiring ,
protection but al so as more talented nobler and h olier

, , ,
than he He was the fir st in the O ccident to honour

.
woman because for him marriage was not a mere Ob j ect

, ,
as it was for the G reeks nor a contract as with the R omans , , ,
but an eternal part O f the life of the soul In the Teutonic .
world married people are not of unequ al status as in the

, ,
E ast or as they were even in G reece ; nor is theirs the

prosaic equality of R ome They are one for marriage is .
,
unity But unity is only p os sible where unanimity exists

. .
From the very outset therefore the same ethical nobility

and courage and loyalty have manifested themselves in
the Teutonic woman as in man Thus and only thu s .
, ,
could marriage naturally develop into conventional in ,
the sense of cultural marriage ; only Owing to this were, ,
in R omance times religion and love the two ideas that

,
governed the life of the knight s Thus Walther von der .
Vogelweide sang “
O h ne M inne k ann ni emand G ottes
,
15 2 C OU N T PAU L TH U N H O H E NS T E I N -
nent in their blood and tradition recedes As bearers of .
this exclusive ethos of courage the Teutons took posses ,
s ion O f the E uropean world A s the ruling race they were

.
at first everywhere in the minority but they secured the ,
countries by establishing a hierarchic and warlike order .
Thus E urope became a commonwealth of representative

nobles O nly the lords of the manor counted But these
. .
had in reality no private life They wer e so to speak .

, ,
their feudal properties and the king was h is land Even

,
.
in S hake speare s time the K ing of E ngland calls the

’
,
“
French king simply France ”
Thus all E uropean life o f
.
any importance became the life of the representative

classes Thus the whole life o f the nobility became
.
founded on an ethical principle A nd out of this the spe .

,
ci fic form of E uropean conventional marriage evolved ,
which represents as in n o other part o f the world a life

, ,
a ss ociation ba sed on super personal grounds The woman

-
.
who married the lord of the manor knew full well that
she had an Ofli ce to fulfil that would mean setting aside all
private and personal matters Thus the particular part .
pla yed by marriage in this system of life produced quite

special and Often very narrow restrictions It was not .
permi ssible to marry any one who might endanger one s ’
standing in the cosmic order or one s vocation It was a ’

.
heroic spirit of courage that created Teutonic conventional

marriage Thus the renunciation it entailed was similar
.
to the hardship s the warriors took on themselves without

demur It furthered and bred a corresponding mentality
. .
In fact this heroic disposition is from the very outset the

,
principal distinction of the E uropean woman o f standing .
In the M iddle Ages when she had occa sionally to defend

,
the ca stle for a decade alone sh e was scarcely less hardy

,
than the Crusader himself The famous women of the

.
R enaissance were j ust as courageous as the Condottieri ,

T HE MARR I AGE OF C O NVEN TI O N IN EU RO P E 15 3
an d superior in endurance and lever tenacity I n her

C .
great age , deliberation and superiority were the distinctive

features o f the E uropean woman A nd was she any .
weaker when she became a lady when the life of ,
the eighteenth century atrophied until it became a mere

frivolity to which the guillotine finally put an end ? It
was j ust the lady of the eighteenth century—as I have
already p ointed out— wh o was filled with the highest
ethos The main p oint to regard is not her sometimes
.
questionable morals ; the main p oint is h ow much p r ofligacy

she could stand without losing caste o self control r — .
Private love -a ff airs did n ot destroy French marriage they ,
never even threatened the lofty ethos of conventional

marriage The frivolity and playfulness o f the nobleman
.
,
as compared with the everla sting seriousness of the bour

g e o,
i s is the very sign of h i s stricter ethos .
L ooking carefully, on e finds that there is much j usti fi

cation even for the prej udices O f people of standing Thus .
kings were j u stified while they still felt sure of them

,
selves in proclaiming that they as kings were aware o f

, , ,
certain things that the ordinary mortal could not compre

hend L ineage early training tradition and ethos actu
.
, , ,
ally produce a unique outlook Pride is not necessarily

.
out o f place . N ow let me take a look into the

future You told me that an essay on conventional mar
.
r i age was indi spensable to T h e B o ok o

f M a r r i age because ,
only conventional marriage fulfils the significance Of

marriage and that improvement in the future was de
,
pendent on its rebirth How right you were ! O nly

.
marriage based on super personal grounds has a proper

-
obj ective O ur entire history has proved this without a

.
doubt A s long as E uropean life was healthy and strong

.
,
conventional marriage was its foundation But in reality .
conventional marriage was something quite di fferent from

15 4 C OU N T PAU L T HU N H O H E N S T EIN
'
what it is today a senseless restriction of the possible

,
ch oice O f partners to certain circles that are thought to b e

o f equal standing It is marriage as the embodiment o f
.
a high ethos that is needed It follows that conventional

.
marriage is not superseded as many suppose although , ,
it is not intended to live on in its present form I t must .
b e b or n anew if w e ar e to w itn ess a r est or ati on of E ur op e .
A nd this especially applies to conventional marriage in its

historical sense as the ethos o f courage We are enter
,
.
ing a new heroic age S entiment will die a natural death

. .
L iberali sm will become extinct on account o f weakness of

character O nly courage has a future There is only one
. .
choice o f alternatives : IS courage going to lead to con

struction or destruction ? Up till now the latter has been
the more p owerful tendency But its supremacy must .
not be final or else E urope is ruined The constructive

, .
element must win But in these hard times this p r esup

.
,
poses that marriage as the germ -cell o f history, should

,
re st anew on the austere but beautiful ethos which is the

characteristic of historic conventional marriage The .
rebirth of this conception would lead to the rebirth Of

the nobility The latter fell on account o f a lack o f
.
etho s a want of tradition ; lineage alone is not enough

,
.
O n the other hand it is indispensable ,

But I must .
only write o f marriage .
E thos tradition and descent : I have come back to the

, ,
loft y trinity o f man s being I have finished for could

’
.
,
I Say more to prove that the deliberate practice o f con

v enti on al marriage is more than ever nece ssary for man s
’
present and future , th a t th er e is n o oth er mar r iage

w or thy of th e n ame th an th e c on v enti ona l i n th e s en se 0f ,
cultur a l ma r r i a e that it is only this form of matrimony

, g ,
which can lead mankind to the higher significance o f

things ; in the ethos o f courage to oneself in the tradition ,
P A U L E R N S T
M a r ri a ge an d P ro l et a ri a n i sm
M
ARR I AGE is both a private and a s ocial matter and can
be comprehended biologically and sociologically .
A s it embraces th e mutual destiny of man woman and , ,
child it Should not merely be investigated scientifically

, ,
but also considered from a religious and ethi cal p oint Of

View M o st people usually speak of marriage without
.
realizing that they are considering it from a narro w point

of view only They think of the biological significance of
.
marriage for the individual , of marriage in connection

with th e maintenance of the social order of religious and
,
ethical problem s ; h ow these a ffect the individual and ,
h o w the s ocial form of religion ( with us the church ) is

germane to the problem The latter question cannot be
.
an swered with any degree of certainty today because the ,
state now attempts to deal with problem s which were
formerly under the j ur i sdiction of the church Thi s .
want of clarity in thinking reflects in the latter ca se the

confu sion of the actual conditions .
Proletarianizat i on IS a social event ; it i s externally an

o ccurrence and inwardly a desire Ju st as sex in the in
.
dividual is connected with the whole of h is being by

means of very delicate and fine thread s so marriage in the
,
ca se O f both the individual and society is connected with

all things and must alter if any factors change .
The social order today is becoming p roletarianized .
This has already gone so far that a large p ortion o f hu

156
MARR I AGE A ND P RO LE T AR I AN I S M 15 7
manity looks up on it as an ideal The communistic state

.
o f the future embodies this ideal M arriage too must

.
change accordingly Under such conditions a new aris

.
tocr acy is bound to arise to govern proletarianized h u

manity The latter does not notice this j ust as the R us
.
,
sians do not reali ze that although their Lenin spoke in the

M etal Workers Union , he was an autocrat N ow that
- ’
.
his body is embalmed and lying in state for the faithful

to gaze on he has become something like a saint or a
,
demi god A new form o f conventional marriage

- .
“ ”
( S t a n d e s e h e
) will rise up to oppose proletari a n marriage .
The first signs Of this are already at hand A s it is .
brought into being only by contrast it will naturally ,
develop later and as it only applie s to the few it is not

, ,
so noticeable in a democratic age as the marriage order ( or
rather want o f order ) of the masses .
The marriage system is always dependent o n econ omic

conditions The sexes are so di ff erentiated that they
.
cannot be treated as equals The most happy economic

.
relationship between them will be the one which es .
tab l ish es a division o f labour based on this di fl er en tia

tion thus enabling man and woman to form a higher
,
economic unit The education Of the children is clo sely

.
related with the professional occupation o f the parents ;

in a labour sharing partnership between man and woman
-
,
the children will receive di ff erent qualities from both

parent s, corresponding to each of these who in thi s way ,
c ontinue the natural work begun with procreation M od .
ern E uropean marriage which is now in a state of dissolu

,
tion was of this nature Its historical source can be

, .
traced back to the marriage Of the coloni of the late

R oman E mpire E xternally it also resembled the mar
.
r i age system o f the invading Teutonic tribes where these

,
had to conform to surrounding conditions At the same .

15 8 PAU L E RN S T
time in their own territory they were also partly a ff ected
, ,
by th e social customs o f the Old cultures through ,
Chri stianity The outward similarity was due to the

.
fact that it served the same economic aim .
With the cessation of wars and the suppression o f

piracy the slave markets became empty in the peace-abid
,
ing R oman E mpire O ne had to produce one s own

.
’
s laves but that necessitated a complete change in the

,
economic structure The condition of the slaves had to

.
be improved as they were being employed in industry

,
and agriculture ; at the same time that o f the indigent

freemen became worse, and the two together formed
something approaching a new class The patricians of .
the towns were exterminated Towns lost in importance ;

.
the land and its claims became predominant Consequently .
the s ocial customs o f the lower agricultural workers b e

came the standard I t was at this time that the colonate
.
was formed ; big estates were broken up into small hold

ings which were rented to the former slaves or to the
indigent freemen in return for tribute or work A man
,
.
who had a small piece of land Of this nature had to have

a wife to a ssi st him and to bear him Children This eco .
nomic movement goes on through centuries o f history .
The marriage system o f the coloni becomes eventually

the marriage sy stem of the artisans Al together the col .
onate becomes the social order for the small man From .
the later times of the R oman E mpire right up to the

Frankish kings the small landholders made their land
,
over to the big estate owners and then had the use of it
in exchange for tribute and work The reason for thi s .
procedure within the R oman E mpire wa s primarily to

escape exces sive taxation, and at later times it was the
general insecurity .
1 60 PAU L ERN S T
soldiers in the R oman army The se conditions made it .
po ssible for a particular kind of luxury to ari se consisting ,
in co stly weapons and gold ornament s .
The principal di ff erence lay in the religion .
The Teutons in all probability still had their original

patriarchal religion Civilized R oman society was pas sing
.
through all the di ff erent stages that accompanied the dis

solution of this religion The slaves had never even had.
a god Under these conditions Chri stianity made its

.
,
appearance O riginally long before the birth o f Christ

.
, ,
it represented for the highest intellectual circles the myth

of a crucified god then a mystery cult and finally the
, ,
religion of the lower-cla ss population of the towns This .
religion evolved out of it self a new social order, embodied

in the church which undertook to fulfil the duties and
,
obligations o f the decadent state .
In the Christian religion and its social aspect—the

church—the thoughts and feelings of the decaying social
order are incorporated O n the one hand the social catas
.
,
tr op h e led the better elements to renounce the world and

to come to the conclusion that woman was the principal
cause of dis solution That is h ow asceticism became part
.
of Christianity O n the other hand among the lower

.
,
classes a new marriage system which was both natural ,
and moral superseded the Old decadent form s Thi s was

,
.
“
also taken over by the Church under the title of Christian
”
marriage and was amalgamated with the ascetic ideal in
a variety o f wa ys .
When the Teutons embraced Chri stianity t hey took

over these ideas and conceptions They were not aware .
that their marriage system was similar to that o f Chri stian

marriage onl y outwardly As is always the case they .
,
looked on the di ff erences as mistakes that had to be rem

e died .
MARR I AGE A ND P R O L E T A R IA N I S M
As the on e hand marriage presupposes the existence

on
o f mutual love — n o t the infatuation that s ometimes leads

—
to marriage so on the other it is dependent on a sense
of resp onsibility which cannot be regulated legally but
, ,
only e ff ected inwardly by means o f religion This safe .
guard is found to exist in the earliest forms j ust as in ,
dividual sexual love is .
I t is clearly evident that the safeguard marriage r e

c eived from Chri stianity was not as firm as it would have
been if the Old patriarchal marriage system o f our fore

fathers had developed independently o f but in conj unc ,
tion with , a corresponding evolution o f the existing

religion . Christianity won its hold Over the masses
principally on account of the myth of recompense after
death regarding which the church had much to say
,
.
When the fear of hell disappears it can n o longer operate

as a p opular religion , for then the church loses its p ower .
The myth of G od s S on dying on the Cross is only a

’
symbol expressing insight into the tragic nature of life .
This insight is only attainable on the highe st spiritual

plane For the ma sses the crucifixion had to be explained
.
,
as if the S on of G od laid down h is life to clean se tailors

and Shoemakers Of their sin s ; the eternal value of the
most insignificant soul had t o become a dogma By this .
means the masses were rated at a higher value than they

could live up to and this exaggeration was reflected in all
,
the other spheres associated with religion Thus the sig .
n i fican ce o f common marriage was overestimated and in ,
this form it required more of the average man in thought

and conduct than he was able to give The Catholic .
Church introduced several wise extenuations which how , ,
ever the R eformation again swept aside Thus the fol

,
.
lowing situation arose : Christian marriage is an ideal the ,
highest marriage ideal there has ever been, which only a

1 62 PAU L ERN S T
few legendary characters of Olden times can approach
( P enelope D
,
a m aj an ti D ej anira ) which
,
only few can ,
realize while the great maj orit y find themselves in doubt

,
and tribulation T h e less influence the Church has on the

.
life of the people the more does this condition become

,
aggravated In the meantime the di sruptive influence of

.
democracy had set in which was also inherent in Christi

,
a n i ty though in another sense

,
O n account Of its p ar ticu
.
lar genesis both democratic and aristocratic elements are

,
found to exi st beside on e another in Christianity and ac , ,
cording to the particular age either on e or other comes ,
to the fore In the O ccident the democratic factors

.
,
became ever more prominent once the struggle between ,
P ope and E mperor commenced This weakened the .
s eigniorial bond s which took the place Of self -responsi
b il ity for the lower Classes But not only the church but
.
,
religion itself thus fell into a state of di ssolution n otwith ,
s tanding that by its democratic influence it won a n ew
inwardness the last results of which were the R eforma

,
tion and Pieti sm Thus Christian marriage developed

.
into middle-class marriage .
Events follow the same cour se here as elsewhere ;

religious duties become middle —class moral prescriptions ,
which are then found to be without a proper basi s b e ,
cause they lack consecration A s soon as humanity b e .
comes aware O f this condition complete disintegration is ,
made po ssible .
Chri stian marriage which later develops into middle

,
class marriage is built up on the assumption that both

,
husband and wife take a share in the work j ust as natu ,
rally happens in the ca se of the small landholder The .
latter s family life serves as model to the big landowners

’
,
noble families and to the town artisans and patricians

, .
With the advent o f capitali st industry, there appears in

1 64 PAU L ERNS T
for Observation here : the interaction o f clas ses in their r e
lation to life What I have j ust said concerning woman s
.
’
activity applies especiall y to t h at o f the lower clas ses and

the petty bourgeoisie In th e di ssolution of the traditional
.
marriage system the lower cla sses played an exemplary

,
part I n fact they still continue to while destroying ; the

.
,
princess is j ust as much a ff ected by the destruction o f the

existing marriage s y stem as is the proletarian woman In .
the present age society is an integral whole ; what reacts

,
spiritually on on e cla ss does so also on another O nly the .
outward form is di ff erent But I believe there were.
times when the upper and lower classes moved in differ

ent directions and I presume that this condition is about
,
to reappear .
We have examined the transitional stage from an

economic p oint of view But that is a mere ab straction
. .
For the Observer men are governed by s ociological laws ;

,
but in reality they choo se their own path A nd conse .
quently the evolution of an emotional attitude toward

life runs parallel to economic development .
The proletariat is a social class but it is als o an emo ,
ti on al attitude toward life A nd no one can determine

.
sociologically which was first I n individual cases, the .
cau se of proletarianization will always be found to exi st

in the attitude toward life Here we have reached the
.
ultimate impenetrable s ecret of life ; impenetrable b e

, ,
cau se we can think only by ab stracting particular forces

and systems from the whole whereas life is made up of ,
the reciprocal action o f all its component forces and a d

j u stments .
What is the proletariat as an emotional attitude toward

life ? And emotion can be described in general term s
o nly ,
and consequently such de scriptions u sually s ound
rather empty Proletarianism is the lack O f any high
.
MARR I AGE AND P RO LE T AR I AN I S M 1 65
aims in life A town forms a unit ; so does a country or

.
the whole of humanity This unit is made up not only of

.
the people but of the things pertaining thereto A man .
is connected with his house and his fields with the estat e ,
of his neighbour with all the wealth of his nation in fact

, ,
with the whole world—e verything is interconnect e d .
The reali zation o f the unity of all life mu st be consciously,

or perhaps still more unconsciously felt by every one in,
the shape of a sense o f resp onsibility love , devotion or , , _
at any rate some sort of instinct The person wh ose atti

.
tude toward life does not embrace such feelings o f unity

is a proletarian .
The proletarian is on e O f the basic types o f humanity .
H e has always existed Human history shows that dif

.
f er ent basic types play the principal part in turn Today .
it is the turn of the proletarian wh o does not feel the

,
unity o f life and who has no sense o f responsibility .
The proletariat is a social Class H ere it mu st be r e

.
membered that the conception of class does not tally with

historical facts T h e proletariat as a social cla ss accords
.
only in the sphere o f ab stract thought with the con cep

tion o f the proletariat as an attitude toward life In .
reality, j udged according to the class system , there are

many proletarians wh o are not so in their emotional atti
tude Children are perhaps the best proof that our life
.
is not a solitary atom but a part within a va st whole A

,
.
mother in the midst o f her children a fading flower with,
ripe s eed-p ods , is a S ign that our individual life h as a

higher significance which the individual can never know
, ,
but at most only humbly believe in and feel G onse .
quently proletarianism as an attitude toward life must be

ho stile to marriage not merely to any definite form of
,
marriage which is hi storically doomed Proletarianis m .
as an attitude toward life is the denial of humanity and

1 66 PAU L E RN S T
the world ; it is the contention that individuals are solitary
atoms ; it means a proces s of self destruction In a healthy
-
.
age individuals and larger groups sink into the condition

o f the proletariat and by their self de struction rid the
-
world Of a useless burden I n times like the present

.
,
where the whole social order is p r oletar i amz ed, it means

the complete self annihilation of society
-
.
I t was mentioned above that the bourgeoisie is essen

i ll
ta y o e n with the proletariat — naturally the bourgeois
idea is not the same as citizenship The pre bourgeois and
.
-
pre— proletarian society o f citi zens is still a society and not

a chao s There is no di ff erence between the A merican
.
woman who pos sesses millions and is divorced for the

twenty-fif th time and the factory girl who goes home
after her work to dress herself Showily for the dancing
hall from which she returns with a man wh o may
,
marry her or may never see her again There is no dif .
ference between the woman doctor who leaves her Chil

dren to the servant when she visit s her patients and thus
, ,
thinks that she is fighting for the emancipation of her sex ,
and the working woman who sends her children on to the

street when S h e goes to work and thinks that she has
thereby taken the first step toward establishing a n ew order
in which society has to care for the children We know o f .
savage people wh o die o ut when they come in contact
with E uropeans not on account of diseases or alcohol

, ,
but because they do not wish to have any children They .
simply cannot adapt themselves We must look up on the

.
s elf-destruction o f civilization by means of proletarianism
as a similar phenomenon only that the subj ective attitude

,
is probably di fferent Industrial capitalism has brought

.
mankind into a condition to wh ich it cannot po ssibly adapt

itself It is itself the result of a higher cause that lies in
.
the spiritual sphere .

R I C A R D A H U C H
Roma n t i c M ar ri age
T was advice given regarding marriage that at o ne
I time inj ured Luther s reputation even among ’

h is
followers and which even to this day is u sed against him
,
by his enemies and over it his admirers sorrowfully

,
sh ake their heads The L andgrave Philip of Hesse had

.
,
in early life as the custom was , married a princess for

,
whom he could feel no a ffection and with whom he soon ,
broke faith He fell passionately in love with on e of the

.
ladies in waiting M argarethe v on der S ale whom he

- -
, ,
could not or perhaps did not want to get as a mistress ,
because of her social p osition ; and consequently he de

s ired to Obtain a divorce A s in all cla sses among the
.
Protestants when difficult ca ses had ari sen which one

,
presumed or hoped would be settled di fferently than

hitherto the L andgrave applied to Luther as the respon s
,
ible leader and the latter found him self obliged to give
,
him advice which was as follows : I f P hilip could feel

,
no a ff ection for his real wife and could not free h is heart
of love for the other woman he should after Obtaining , ,
permission from his wife contract a second marriage with

,
M argarethe which should however remain secret ; this

, , ,
was also to apply to this counsel given at confe ssion A s .
far as the world was concerned, the second wife must be

looked upon as a concubine .
Thi s deci sion strange as it may seem to us was quite

, ,
in keeping with L uther s outlook regarding marriage and

’
1 68
RO MAN TI C MARRI AGE 1 69
human relations in general When asked for an opinion , .
he was accustomed to seek inspiration from two sources

N ature and the S criptures He held that G od had shown
.
His will both in life itself and in the Word which He had
,
manifested unto men in the beginning Thes e two prin .
cip l es
,
h e maintained Should be complementary He
,
.
found that marriage had always existed and not that it ,
was instituted by Christ and that it was established by

,
using definite visible signs as was the case with bapti sm

, ,
and communion ; consequently he did not regard it as a

sacrament but as a divine institution and the highest of
,
all human cal lings This follows from the fact that the
.
commandment to honour one s father and mother im ’
mediately follows those relating to G od H imself and ,
that G od created man and woman and bade them live

together and beget children I t was also his custom to .
quote the word of G od : It is not good for man to live

“
”
alone. As there is scarcely any sphere o f human activity
where so much confu sion disagreement and perplexity , ,
exists as in marriage Luther was asked for advice and

,
help almost daily by affl icted and de spairing people He .
did not keep strictly to the Old canon in this matter as he ,
found himself at variance with it on account o f h is aver

sion to celibacy The laxity which permitted illicit
.
s e xual relations o f the clergy had greatly favoured a gen
e r ally frivolous outlook so that marriage was not held in

,
much esteem In order to better this condition Luther

.
,
took the matter seriou sly to heart and made use of every
opp ortuni ty to p oint out how pleasing to G od was the
state that enabled men to conduct their lives in a chaste
manner He realized h owever that marriage was only
.
, ,
good and beautiful when the partners loved or respected

each other ; but knowing the unstable nature o f man s ’
a ff ections he recognized that love was an unsure f ounda

,
170 R I C A RDA HU C H
tion O ne might expect that Luther would have made

.
divorce easier because on the on e hand he desired that

,
marriage should be carried out with more warmth an d

a ff ection, and on the ot h er hand he was well aware o f the
frailties of the human heart ; this , however was not the ,
case If he had found some word in Holy S cripture

.
,
spoken by either the S aviour or S t P aul which could have .

,
been interpreted as favouring divorce he would certainly ,
have made use Of it A s this was not the case he stood

.
,
firmly by the saying What therefore G od hath j oined

“
,
”
together let not man put asun der, and by the idea o f
,
loyalty which makes the promise once given irrevocable

,
.
He even strove against the cu stomary dispensations , ac

cording to which princes and notabilities Obtained divorce
by payment If he did not acknowledge the P ope s pre
.
’
rogative to annul marriages n either did he claim that ,
right for him self O nly in two cases did he recognize the
.
right to divorce , and these were the customary ones ,
namely adultery and impotence on the man s part In

,
’
.
regard to the latter point his outlook was original I f the

,
.
hu sband did not voluntarily renounce his rights , as was

e ssentially his duty the woman could elope with another
,
man and live with him either secretly or in some other

, ,
place The children born o f the second alliance were to

.
be regarded as the first husband s rightful heirs since he ’

,
was in reality the culpable person Here again it was S t . .
P aul s inj unction that man should not surrender to pas

’
s ion that influenced L uther but he al s o felt its truth

,
.
Apart from the fact that he held it was a woman s right ’
to have children he considered that unsatisfied craving ,

,
which o f necessity led to a passionate regard for other

men was detrimental It is the internal consuming de
,
.
,
sire which the conscientious man has to combat and which
often only grows the stronger thereby ravaging and ,

1 72 R I C A RDA H U C H
apart S ince marriage is for man a business and for
.
woman a matter of love , di scord ari ses in addition to the

tragic element A t any rate , Opposition to a strict rela
.
tion based on loyalty will invariably be found to exist ,

on account o f the weakness of human a ff ection and char
acter M an s quarrelsomeness his antipathy to restraint
.
’
, ,
his pr oneness to let himself go toward a woman whom he

no longer needs to court because he already p o ssesses her
, ,
would entirely undermine marriage if it were not that the ,
mutual love o f the children, the plea sure of watching

them grow up of reliving one s youth again in them , out
,
’
weighs all the se unplea santnesses .
Above all man is intended by N ature and his own

,
rea s on to build up communities in which an orderly form

of life exists The idea of an integral whole of a uni
.
,
v er sal ity which i s innate in all men

,
and which always ,
strive s to find application to an ever widening sphere of -
influence enables the individual to relinqui sh his p er

,
s onal claims in order to participate in a higher and

,
richer social life M an is accustomed to relinquish some

.
o f his individual right s for the good o f the state which ,
r son i fies the conception of a whole people and j ust as

p e ; ,
in general he demands that respect be shown the state so

, ,
he also requires that marriage which repre sents the ,
primary cell in the organism o f the state should be kept ,
h oly Even if he permits himself con siderable license

.
outside it he still looks on the order o f marriage as in

,
violable He coerces him self and others because he

.
,
knows that they are not noble enough t o comply v olun

tar ily .But since he does so on ideal grounds he cannot
.
fail , for the same reason to champion in turn the rights o f

,
the heart when matched against force .
Luther was sufli ciently broad—minded when consider ,
ing these facts of human life to recognize their antitheses

,
RO MAN TI C MARR I AGE 1 73
and paradoxes He expressed it by saying that he dis

.
t1nguish ed between G od and the world and that G od had

\ ,
contracted with the latter a morganatic marriage O ne .
might be inclined to think that he would have liked to

see the world perish or that he held it of no account
, ,
seeing that he claimed the devil was its Overlord O n .
the contrary he recognized its reality and only en

, ,
deav our ed to keep the law Of the world separate from the
law of G od It is natural that from this p oint of View
.
there will always remain an indissoluble residue for it is ,
quite impossible to tear a man asunder according to his

worldly and his divine natures for man mu st become the,
citizen o f both kingdoms L uther held that the coercive

.
factor in marriage was a neces sity since man s nature was ,

’
burdened with original sin A t the same time according

.
,
to h is opinion marriage proj ected into the kingdom of

,
G od He endeavoured by precept and example to fulfil

.
its Obligations with love and j oy and as far as p os sible,
to ease the lot o f those who felt bound by it The secret .
double marriages which he advi sed in certain cases were

not intended to have any validity in the eyes of the
world which was relentless regarding the irrevocability
,
o f the first bond but they were to have a significance b e

,
fore G od and conscience as forming a supreme court

,
.
O nly a pure and courageous heart dared to entrust itself

to a higher power than that which counted for the average
man But that was j u st the courage of the Prote stants
.
,
who dared by means of their conscience to come into

, ,
“
direct contact with G od The Protestant motto O ne
.
,
s hould obey G od before man

”
demands a conscientious
,
ness which requires almo st superhuman powers when the

person s own happiness is at stake
’
.
Luther him self su ff ered on account of h is desire to

appea se this twofold nature o f man which sho ws it self in ,
1 74 I ARDA H U C H
R C
his craving f or order and freedom for happiness and ,
duty In accordance with his large—hearted character he

.
did not adhere blindly to his own views but recognized ,
that other decisions were possible The on e thing he .
maintained was that if a man had advice to proffer he ,
must let brotherly love rule in h is heart .
Although Luther essentially maintained the in dissolu

ble nature o f marriage as an inviolable form Of loyalty ,
it can be asserted that he led the way to a much more

tolerant treatment of the problem He did this first by .
denying its sacramental character next by endeavouring ,
to found it on love and lastly by establishing conscience

,
marriage ( G ewissens eh e ) In this consideration for the

”
.
prerogatives of a ff ection he went so far that during an age

when it was still the cu stom for parents to determine the
marriages o f their children he even at times took the
,
children s part A case in p oint is when he wrote most

’
.
strictly to a certain Frau Ursula Schnei dewin wh o would ,
not permit her son to marry the wife of h is Own choo s

—
ing requiring her to give way as her obduracy was p r ej
,
udici n g her son s studies and pointing out that she herself
’
,
would not like a man to awaken love in her daughter and

“
then desert her . I have written that children should not
marry without their parents consent , but I have also
’
”
written that parents should not hinder their children .
Here also he recognizes an antithesis that can only be

resolved with good will I f she continued to refuse he
.
,
would consecrate the marriage without her permission ;

and if later the young pair were in want he would cer ,
tainly come to their assi stance Luther s leniency is still

.
’
more surprising in another case The church permitted .
divorce in ca ses of adultery, but did not permit the adul

ter er to marry the woman with whom he had committed
the adultery and this is the law even among Protestants
,
1 76 RI C ARDA H U C H
the phenomena The main thing was that each person
.
s hould be a complete human being The man was to .
develop h is feminine characteristics and the woman her ,
masculine ones Woman should not merely think o f

.
dres s in order to shine in society nor should sh e be en ,
tir ely merged in household cares and in her children ; she

was to develop her intellect , to take an interest in art
and science to have the courage of her own opinions and
,
not allow others to treat her as a slave They found .
S chiller s women who swam in an ocean of femininity

’
, ,
and his men parading their masculinity ridiculous and ,
ugly O n the other hand they admired G oethe s heroes

.
,
’
,
with their slight tinge o f dreaminess and delicacy h is ,
free and daring girls and women They would also hear .
o f no di stinction between sensual a nd Platonic love They .
recognized love as true and beautiful only where matter

and Spirit merged in a healthy union .
The G reeks divided their women into three classes ,
according to their usage : the matron wh o in the capacity ,
o f wife bore her hu sband children educated them and , ,
ruled the household and as recompense enj oyed the hon

,
o ur of this high O fli ce and lived in s ecurity ; the hetaera ,
who was trained in the arts satisfied man with her com
,
r a dely allurements and enj oyed his love in a variety o f

,
di ff erent relationships ; and the slave who was forced to ,
serve as an instrument of passion A man is rarely equally

.
well developed in all directions and it is seldom that he

,
can sati sfy all the requirements of life A man usually .
also satisfies the requirements of a woman in only on e di

rection It is quite pos sible that an excellent p ater f a
.
milias plays a poor r Ole as a passionate lover If we bear .
in mind that the G reek classification in one form or an ,
other has been applied univer sally and in every age b e

, ,
cause it corresponds with human nature or at least with

RO MAN TI C MARR I AGE 177
man s inclination s and becau se woman s wi shes are not

’
,
’
consulted only then do we properly realize the magni

,
tude Of the change the R omantici sts planned in t h eir

marriage reform .
A f ew young men undertook to refashion S o cIety In

accordance with their subj ective ideali sm With the .
thoughtle ssne ss of youth that exaggerates its own strength

and doe s not properly gauge the limitations of human na
ture and the importance O f tradition they believed that ,
the glowing eloquence and logical force of their conv ic

tion would al s o convince others They looked with dis
.
—
gust on middle cla ss or conventional marriage which ,
hid under a pretense of fervour characteristics which soon

, ,
caused it to deteriorate into an indi ff erent coexistence ,
or even gave ri se to ho stility They were revolted by

.
the soulless bodily intimacy and the mendaciou s manner

in which a relationship ba sed on avarice or convenience
was represented as something h oly and worthy of respect .
It was termed love when the man s imply fel t the attr ac
tion of sex or the woman merely re spected the man s ’
social p osition If only the outward form remained

.
untouched little notice was taken o f the infidelity of men

,
or women The example set by the court o f Friedrich

.
Wilhelm I I had contaminated the hitherto strictly

.
moral middle classes It e specially distressed the R oman

.
ticists that the woman s individuality w as first obliterated

’
by her husband and later merged in her children and ,
that even women found this natural The spiritual .
coercion of woman they condemne d even more strictly

than the exploitation of her body In the development .
of individuality they recognized the mis sion of humanity .
It was principally Friedrich S chlegel and S chleiermacher

who interested themselves in thi s que stion and championed
it as writers A ccording to them marriage should be the
.
,
1 78 R C I ARDA H U C H
image of the Trinity, the union o f the two halves of
human life to produce a third ; the latter did not in the
first place represent children but a dual harmony a pro
, ,
ductiv e interpersonal relationship Who has not heard.
that pleasant fable of P lato s that every on e i s the half

’
,
o f a definite whole and must seek his complement on
earth and can indeed find it ? The R omanticist s upheld

t h i s view by means o f the plau sible idea that for every
fully developed individual there must be another per
son who suits him better than all the rest do , and is there
fore actually intended for him If this complementary .
relationship between the two individuals was to remain

continually rej uvenative they maintained that on e indi
,
vidual must not merge himself in the other ; but on the

contrary that they should help one anot h er develop their
,
own particular characters .The striving toward individual

perfection was established as a religion N ot only should .
love and marriage be on e but also bodily and spiritual

, ,
heavenly and earthly love Just as human individuality

,
.
fl ows in a mysterious way into the ultimate personality

of G od or into the Universe ( which were accounted
,
identical ) so the lover , if he entirely merged himself in

,
his love would find G od S exual love is a ray from the

,
.
divine sun of love which has penetrated to earthly r e

gions and must finally return whence it came .
A love marriage in this romantic sense, which they

termed real marriage to di stingui sh it from conventional
or middle — clas s marriage was to be indi ssoluble This it
, .
already was by nature for if the spirit and senses find

,
simultaneous satisfaction and every longing rega rding

one s own imperfections finds fulfilment in the other per
’
son then loyalty grows as the flower crowning love s

,
’
stem .
I f this strict outlook regarding the indissolubility of

1 80 R I C ARDA H U C H
life of its pleasantness and left a shallow egotism I n .
order to come to h is friend s as si stance and at the same ’
time enligh ten th e a stoni shed and enraged public S chlei ,
er mach er publi s hed the confidential letter s which dealt
with S chlegel s L ucind e and in which he endeavoured to

’
,
outline the moral foundation on which the romantic idea

of love re sted .
M ore important than the abstract statement of their

theories was the practical application the R omanticist s
made of them in their own lives L et us inquire whether .
t h eir preliminary experiments led to real or ordinary mar

r i age and what example their ow n love a ff air s o ff ered ;
,
in a word whether they realized their principles

,
.
Friedrich S chlegel after a long and unpleasant pre

,
liminary period fir st experienced real love when he met

,
K aroline M ichaeli s who was at the time already engaged

,
to h is brother The renunciation which the circumstances

.
demanded of him and which he made manfully out o f

, ,
love for h is brother showed him in a true light and did

,
much towards his development He withdrew because .

,
he believed that the engagement rested on mutual love .
He was not restrained by any consideration for legal mar

r iage as became apparent when he fell in love with D oro
,
thea Veit born a M endel ssohn who was unhappily mar

, ,
ried Dorothea left her husband although she had two

.
,
sons and lived freely with her lover for some time before
,
her divorce Free love is not exactly a part o f the

.
romantic programme but in spite o f the evil rumour s

,
that were spread their friends supported Friedrich and

,
D orothea but disagreed with their conduct and urged

,
them to marry which Friedrich then decided to do Thi s

, .
marriage it is true lasted the rest of their lives without

, ,
further mishap but it developed into j ust such a com

,
monp lace middle -class marriage as the young rebels had

RO MAN TI C MARRI AGE 181
at one time revolted against with di sgu st D orothea wh o .

,
was ugly and much older than Friedrich w as scarcely ,
liable to be be set by temptations , and it accorded with her

own interests quite apart from her duty to remain with
, ,
the man she had so dearly acquired S he cho se a method .
o f ingratiation best suited to h i s particular character and ,
sub s equently submerged herself heart and soul in tending
his bodily welfare .
I f S chleiermacher did not attach much imp ortance to

fir st love and love at fir st sight it was in keeping with h is
,
own personal experience O nly s lightly sensual by na

.
ture, he was better suited for friendship than for love .
He was able for years to maintain an intimate friendship

with the beautiful Henriette Herz who was also cold by ,
nature seeing her almost daily w ithout falling in love

, ,
with her Whenever he did fall in love it was always

.
subsequent to a long friendship The mo st imp ortant o c .
currence in his life was his acquaintance with E leonore

G runow who was unhappily married to a clergyman
,
.
S chleiermacher s friendly inspiration awoke a zest for

’
life in the dej ected woman and they became in disp ens ,
able to o n e another during an intimacy of s everal year s ’
standing .When S chleiermacher had sati sfied him self

that even E leonore s courageous self abnegation was not
’ -
able to change her unworthy husband he advi sed her to ,
get a divorce and at this j uncture mutual love sprang up

,
between them E leonore who like S chleiermacher had

.
, , ,
been brought up in a par s onage, had such a sensitive con

science that it was diffi cult for her to decide in spite of ,
the prospect of being happy with her beloved friend .
O nly with difficulty was he able to get her over to h is

way of thinking that a loveless marriage was less moral
,
than divorce Finally he persuaded her to leave her hus

.
band s house but she was not able to still her conscience
’
, ,
which told her that it was her duty to endure in marriage ;
and after much hesitation sh e returned to her cage At .
that time S chleiermacher who was deepl y di sappointed

, ,
looked upon E leonore s deci sion as a deplorable mi stake

’
and a Sign of weakness He married a much younger.
woman Henriette von Willich the widow of on e O f

, ,
his young friends wh o looked upon him more as a

,
father T h e marriage developed into a very ordinary

.
one and S chleiermacher had to bear the brunt of his

,
wife s melancholy disposition

’
.
Ludwig Tie ck s marriage was also quite unromantic as

’
,
he married when quite young a woman of only mediocre

, ,
attainments who did not share his literary interest s and

,
was content with being a good housewife L ater o n his .

,
middle cla ss marriage became more romantic when a n

-
intimate woman friend o f his much again st his wife s ,

’
and daugh ter s will became an inmate of the family and

’
, ,
thus a kind of double marriage was established Theoret .
ically speaking double marriage is not a romantic prin

,
cip le but a relic of the S tur m un d D rang period

,
It is a .
curiou s fact t h at G oethe wh o in many other ways r e

,
sembled Luther returned in his S tella to the idea o f

,
double marriage which Luther had suggested as a last

,
resource The latter had intended however that the

.
, ,
partners of the first marriage should separate whereas ,
the young poets thought of it as a relation d tr ois Jacobi .
describes thi s in h is novel W a ldemar which in its time ,
was much read and admired He had a morbid conception

.
of love according to which the higher forms of spiritual

,
love were impaired by the sensual love o f marriage He .
himself lived with two women after this manner one ,
satisfying herself with his soul the other with h is body ,

.
Such a cruel violation o f woman s rights contradicts th e

’
intentions of the R omanticists But only as regards ih .

a ff airs and her second marriage with Wilhelm S chlegel ,
,
s h ould all be looked upon as preliminary experiments

from the romanti c p oint o f view Wilhelm S ch legel for .
,
his part , had always really loved her , and all h is best
qualities came to the fore in this a ffair S he had refused .
him when she was still happy and for him to o ff er her ,
marriage now that she was deserted and expecting the

,
birth of an illegitimate child and to receive in return for

,
his love her gratitude was indeed chivalrou s ; and this

,
remained his attitude toward her until the very end It .
was he who always comforted and helped her in all her

love entanglements with S chelling P erhaps she would .
have been more loyal to him had he been le ss noble and

shown more manly harshne s s and unj ust j ealou sy S chel .
ling s vacillation between the charms of the mother wh o

’
,
was eleven years his senior and those of her daughter ,
came to an end with little Augu ste s death and his a ff ec ’

,
tions were then concentrated on Karoline The marriage .
of S chelling and Karoline proved really happy for both .
Ju st as Karoline s personality full of grace and dignity

’
, ,
w as the central figure o f the R omantic movement so ,

“ ”
her marriage was also exemplary o f the real marriage
that romantic idealism had always desired Wheth er her .
death wh ich occurred six years after this marriage en

, ,
abled the highly p oetic quality of thi s relation ship to be

maintained cannot be determined S chelling married a
, .
second time His wife was Pauline G otter the daughter

.
,
of one of K aroline s early friends ; they lived happily to

’
gether .
E T A Ho ff mann s conduct was typ ical o f a disin

. . .
’
tegr ated personality He lived with a common woman

.
,
wh o se only desire was to be allowed to attend to h is

daily requirements He loved a young girl to whom he
.
gave music lessons and who contracted a marriage O f dis

cretion which proved unfortunate Whether Julia r e .
sembled the ecstatic p ortrait he drew of her is ine ssential .
He had never been happy with any woman because he ,
was not in harmony with himself ; and for him it was the
very best thing to be in love with a star, which he could
not besmirch since it was out of his reach
,
.
In his excessive grief for a girl bride whom he

lost by death N ovalis determined to die also In the
,
.
heavenly ether the insignificant girl took on a vi sionary

importance and became the mediatrix of the G odhead .
L ove religion , and death were all one In the young poet s
,
’
heart L ater on h owever when he was worn out he

.
, , ,
dropped down from the heights and became native to

earth again A new love awoke in him ; he became en
.
gaged to a young girl but died before the marriage could ,
take place .
The least harmonious personality o f all the R oman

ticists was Clemens Brentano He had no luck in either .
love or marriage When he was nineteen he made the.
acquaintance o f S ophie M ereau the wife of a Jena pro ,
f essor and fell in love with her she being eight years
, ,
his senior S ophie was very talented, pur sued literary

.
activities and was pretty and vain In reality she cared

,
.
only about herself S he had married out o f a ff ection

.
,
but soon grew disappointed with her marriage ; and the

petty fl ir tati on s with which she amused herself did not
sati sfy her Her liaison with Clemens Brentano came to
.
an end but she was divorced and met him again when she
,
was free ; he then fell passionately in love with her .
Though still less capable Of love than she it was he wh o ,
wrecked her self esteem especially when she became a

-
,
mother The glamour faded rapidly for him , leaving

.
him desp ondent empty languid and ill whereas she

, , , ,
became devoted and indulgent He revenged himself on .

’
h er by martyring her soul When she died in three years .
,
time she left him the best po ssible love gift : the illusion
,
-
t h at he had once been happy and that only death had ,
prevented the continuation o f this felicity Her three .
children were either stillborn or died shortly after birth ;

thu s did N ature repudiate the alliance A second mar .
r iage which Clemens contracted with a hysterical and
stubborn girl soon necessitated separation , as existence

toget h er proved impo ssible for these two hypersensitive
individuals .
How motherhood inasmuch as it teaches resignation ,
and sacrifi ce makes it easier for woman to take part in

,
the natural cour se of life even if she has lo st N ature s ,

’
bli ssful unconsciousness , is seen in the case o f Bettina

Brentano wh o in Spite of her resemblance to her brother
, ,
Clemens led an ordinary married life with A chim v on

,
Arnim until his death .
R ahel was the mo st independent though not the most ,
outstanding character among the women of the romantic

,
movement S he was invariably unfortunate in her love

.
a ff airs probably because o f her natural predilection for

,
handsome weak extremely sensual and intellectually

, , ,
“
insignificant men Whoever has thought deepest loves
.
,
the most intensely : this was her idea A brooding spirit

”
.
,
whether man or woman attracts t o itself the beautiful ,
and the sensuous with magnetic force Whether the .
woman s intellectual superiority proved irksome to the

’
men or whether their sexual needs required another com

,
plement they reciprocated R ahel s love , but the intimacies

,
’
never led to marriage ; and here the fault was not hers .
Weary with weeping and broken with di sappointment s ,
she eventually married Varnhagen who O ff ered her a sin ,
cere admiration a respected name re st and security Her

, , ,
.
marriage was based on friendship and gratitude, and

It was a brass ca n that we mistook for fine gold And .
if love j oins together two good natured persons it forces

-
,
on them th e bitter-sweet experience t h at others are also

worthy of a ff ection and t h at their hearts too are change
,
able The vows of eternal love flow j ust as naturally

.
from the lips of lovers as scent from the chalice of a

flower but the demon o f love listens to them with a cold
,
smile as if it were the false pathos of a comedian L ove

,
.
impel s together such as can never learn to abide on e an

other and lets those pas s by unheeded who would have
,
made each other happy How could people have sought

.
to build the strong edi fice of marriage on an element

whose Changeable shimmering and dangerous character
, ,
resembles the sea ?

The R omantici sts looked upon marriage as essentially
a private matter a ff ecting tw o persons It never struck .
them that society had an interest in such a relationship ,
and still less did they realize that it had the right to lay
stress on this point We are at the summit of an in
.
dividualistic age The development of the individual and

.
his pleasure in evolving and Ob serving his individuality

appear t o be the ultimate aims o f life and all the com ,
p l ex i ti es of life should s erve to mould the individuality of

man and woman The old world said the romantic aesthete
.
,
S olger was a world of racial considerations whereas in

, ,
the modern world the individual is the fir st born In -

.
dividuality is to be the destiny of mankind and its ex ,
pression love and friendship “

M an has now n o other
.
destiny save love ”

. The exaggerated importance of love
which we meet with in literature and life is the outcome
of historical evolution S ince the fifteenth century the
.
entire public life the legislative j udicatory and admin

, , ,
i str ative activities have been graduall y taken out of the

,
hands of the people and entrusted to functionaries of the

princes The self governing free G ermans became mere

.
-
,
Obj ects of government Thus a society came into being

.
which exi sted alongside o f the state and the governing

class which only busied itself with its own private a fl air s
,
.
Its folk spent their spare energy ambition and pa ssion , ,
on furthering literature and art but paid even more at ,
tention to love A t the same time a great economic change

.
deprived women of their professional activity in the house

hold and the fine lady having essentially no occupation
, , ,
was evolved ; she was almost compelled to spend her time

in love intrigues The man has at least the p ossibility of
.
spending himself in his profession but the artist ( and ,
especially the poet ) who is without any profession is a

, ,
suitable partner for the lady of ease The artist , on a c .
count Of the feminine elements in his nature is alto ,
gether dependent on private life and an extensive love

life There are times however when this femininity of
.
, ,
man and the masculinity of woman which is a necessary

,
corollary become more general ; and at such times the

,
sex relations are more difli cult to regulate and greater ,
prominence is given to the problem The romantic .
movement overrated human nature and mi sunderstood

the conditions in which individuality developed They .
believed that man would choose the right course when left
to himself and consequently demanded freedom even for
,
the child which has an instinctive desire for strictnes s

,
.
They imagined that by setting a side obstacles they

, ,
would further the development o f the individual while ,
it is j ust in the struggle to overcome Obstacles and to con

form to moral customs that character i s formed It was .
a ssumed that highly developed individuals who are the ,
salt o f social intercourse must also be successes in mar ,
r i age They forgot that many of the mo st out standing

.
personalities are the products of unhappy marriages ; while

on the other hand, the marriages of relatives Often prove
to be love —marriages but not infrequently the ch ildren are
,
unhealth y In fact t h ey never thought of the chil dren at

.
,
all in spite O f high s ounding words which , for example

,
-
, ,
Friedri ch S chlegel found occasion to use N either did .
t h ey recognize the duties t h at would arise in connection

with children The mere word duty was for them a dis
.
h armony Bettina Brentano once said that it was a good

.
thing for duty that it had never come across her path ,
o r she would have wrung i ts neck Although too much .
importance must not be attached to the random words of

a girl this aversion was fundamental and general to the
,
romantic movement They did not realize that the good

.
as well as the evil become s barbaric and devoid o f char
a cter without the application of duty The R omanticists .
under stood by duty merely something cold and mechani

cal and did not feel the immen sity and beaut y inherent in
,
the strict observance Of a moral principle even when it “
contradict s N ature A s marriage cannot exi st without a

.
s en se of duty on principle they declined marriage alto

,
gether and in their glorification of love —marriage they

,
express their fear of marriage as it is in reality and as it ,
mu st nece ssarily be to a certain extent among a cultured

people if man does not de sire merel y to make woman into
,
a slave In Tieck s novel S ter nbald W oldemar on the

.
’
,
evening prior to his marriage envies every man in the

“
street : How fortunate you are in still having to seek
”
for your unknown happiness ! I have found mine !
This sighing over a happine ss once attained caused a
romantic philosopher named Kanne on the day o f his ,
wedding to escape the final ceremony by taking flight

, .
Clemens Brentano too sh ortly before h is second marriage

, ,
had the desire to escape ; and he must have soon r e

p ted that he had not done so
e n Incidentally he wrote .
allied themselves wit h the R omanticists because they ,
felt th at the latter s revolutionary conception s were aimed

’
against th e exi sting order Th i s furnishes an example of

.
how extreme individuali sm develop s into communi sm .
“
If one takes into consideration the preliminary exp er i
ment s and the idea that marriage without love could not
”
“ ”
be counted as real marriage and was consequently
readily dissoluble then one is bound to admit that what
, ,
ever their theory was the practical application o f romantic

,
tenets amounted to a kind o f free love G oethe in h is .
Wah lver w an dtsch aften has suggested a middle course ,
wherea s he u sually advocated th e inviolability of mar

r i age. In the Wah lver wand tsch aften he makes the Count
propo se that marriage should last for a term Of five
years ; the possibility of ultimate separation would cau se
both parties to Show their best qualities and in mo st cases
,
the union would be renewed and thu s in reality thi s form

,
of marriage would be j ust as enduring as in the ca se of an

indi ssoluble bond but more liable to produce happiness
, .
The authoress Augu ste Fi sch er wh o was not without r e

,
pute and who had experienced all the horrors of marriage

at the hands of her brutal and unscrupulous hu sband ,
reintroduced this idea of marriage for a term Under .
the present complex social conditions this would certainly

operate more to the advantage of the man than of the
woman R ahel Var nhagen realized thi s when she a dv o
.
cated the complete readj ustment of woman s position

’
,
based on her rights as a mother N ature she maintained

.
, ,
had appointed the clo se st tie between mother and child ,
had planted in the mother —heart an enduring love and

readine ss for self sacr i fice and thus in every respect had
-
,
willed that the child should belong to the mother Con .

~
sequentl y it was only natural that the child should bear

’
the mother s name and the latter ought to rule in the
,
N ature must be obeyed

f ami ly and p os ses s its property .
,
but on e should strive to make her more moral N ature .
was cruel in making it p ossible for man to coerce woman ;

this ought to be remedied by legal measures .
The R omanticists paid too little attention to the fact

that man is ordained to establish communities which have ,
priority over the interests o f any on e individual Family .
life causes man woman and child to influence o ne another

, ,
in the most intimate manner since it asks of each the most,
delicate consideration, because this has to be sh own daily ;

it also educates them morally by bringing together love ,
and duty But life is much too complex and contradictory

.
to enable the family to uphold social interests against

those Of the individual or to intrust to it in every case
, , ,
a higher authority For in their turn , family interests

.
become self-centred and as a definite unit the family

, ,
tends to prevent a wider social life A lthough family life .
demands sacrifices from its members , it can be very harsh

toward out siders I n fact it is one o f tho se bonds which
.
,
must be firm but at the same time re silient The very .
beauty and adventure o f life lies in the fact that general

rules cannot be applied to it and frail man is entirely ,
dependent o n his courage and con science It would be .
unj ust to the R omanticists t o ban their attempts at mar

r i age reform forthwith as erroneous by merely afli r ming
,
the sacred character of marriage N O earthly institution .
is perfect but always stands in need of readj ustment and

,
renewal from the plenitude of unending life Heart .
and fancy with all their weakness and intemperance , op

,
po se not only morality and duty but platitude narrow , ,
mindedness convenience and calculated selfi shness j ust

, ,
as much O ne thing is certain that as much fine human

.
,
It
y Is wrecked by family re strictions as by the very passion
that seeks to break through these barriers A high moral .
1 94 R C I ARDA H U C H
ideal towers above the world and its conventions and
avarice O ut o f the human heart issues the noblest love
.
as well as the most dissolute wild, and cramping lusts ;

,
heart and world are bound toget h er by good and by evil .
In the battle of life every person must during his vacilla ,
tions between th e world and the kingdom of G od learn ,
to give each its due L ove alone cannot guarantee a

.
good and happy marriage , healthy children and proper ,
education for t h em ; but neither can it be eliminated from

a relationship o f the sexes Al l down the ages passion
.
,
has led to the destruction o f marriage ; and all down the

ages the authorities have made allowance f or exceptions !
,
But there has never been a deci sion that was j ust ab
solutely or in all res p ects
,
In spite of G oethe s most
.
’
charming description in his W ah l v er wandsch af ten of the

, ,
progress o f forbidden love and his obvious sympathy for

,
the transgres s or he still maintains the sacramental char

,
acter o f marriage O n the other hand he al so p ointed

.
,
th e way to freedom for several pairs wh o W i shed to sep

arate .
The Teutonic conception o f woman which looks upon ,
her as a divine manifestation and which found expression

anew in Luther an d G oethe is the true foundation on
,
which O ccidental culture rests This ideal is opp osed in

.
G ermany by a thoughtless barbarism which cau ses the men

to belittle exploit and even despise the women because
, , ,
they are physically the weaker ; the women in turn r e

spect and pander to brute strength and by their willing ,
s ervitude increase the megalomania o f the men It is the .
chief merit o f the romantic movement to have fought

against this comfortable barbarism and to have championed
equal rights for women ; but even the R omanticists desired
t h at their individuality s hould be taken into account .
G oethe and Luther placed woman on the s ame footing as

r iage consist only in rearing and educating children ? Is
not living toget h er without charm or delight more in
decent than th e mo st immoderate ecstasy ? Is sincerity
possible where the unnatural can be demanded by force ?
Is not the condition of it self damned where truth grace , , ,
and innocence cannot find a place ? Away with the bar

r i er s ! Away with the ruinou s heap ! L et it be razed to
th e ground ! Then all will flourish vegetation like that -
, ,
”
h as a right t o live .
Should ever thi s wall the big old harmful wall of

“
, , ,
ancient prej udices as R ah el termed marriage be de

”
, ,
mo lish ed completely then the high tide of passion that

,
had swept over it would soon commence to ebb and finally

lose itself in the sands To awaken passion one would
.
,
have to build up again the very thing that had been pre
v i ously abolished in order to satisfy it It is j ust the .
strength and beauty in human nature that depend on
pressure coercion and oppo sition O ne does not give a

, ,
.
man wings by casting o ff h is chains For it is love itself .
which in accordance with its innate longing for eternal

,
love requires an eternal bond The d ouble Character of

, .
man his weaknes s commonplaceness and wickedness as

, , , ,
well as his ready devotion h is noble endeavour and h is

, ,
godlike fatherhood require a strict con straint A nd in

,
.
turn it is his weaknes s commonplacene ss and wickedness

, , , ,
a s well as his sense o f freedom his love of truth and his

, ,
godlike and titanic nature that storm against constraint

,
.
In the pa st the educative and evolutionary influence of

,
marriage has been immeasurable If thi s i s to continue, .
marriage must not become narrow and fixed must not ,
make it self loathed by petty strictness O n the other .
hand it must maintain its dignity and sacred character ,

,
which compel mankind t o take it seriously to reverence ,
It and to wre stle with it

, .
J A K O B W A S S E R M A N N
B o u rgeoi s M a rri a ge
An Open Letter
to Count Hermann K eyserling
DEAR COU N T KEYSERLI N G
W H E N you invited me to write for f M ar

T h e B o ok
r i age I was busy j ust completing a novel dealing
o
with marriage , which I had long planned and prepared

for Thi s served me as another proof that each ep och is
.
pregnant wit h particular ideas , changes , and preparations ,
and in this respect we can Often only play the part o f

acc ouch eur . When such an outstanding intelligence as
yours , which is so actively in touch with the spiritual and
s ocial requirement s o f the present age decides to f o r mu
,
late a world problem o f the day to place it before an

,
Areopagus o f chosen persons for consideration and dis

cussi on ,
and to take part personally— then indeed the
problem must be extremely urgent and the evil of which
,
it is the germ mu st threaten the very root s of exi stence .
I also became fully aware of this during the writing

of my novel , L audin un d di e S emen The crowd of the
.
figures and life patterns was hardly to be taken in at a

-
glance and it was di ffi cult to bring it into shape and order
,
.
E xperience and adventure mingled with and intensified

each other It was at the time more an intellectual fever
.
than a matter o f discipline and confirmation and I felt ,
I 97
1 98 J AKO B W ASSERMAN N
wh ile working at this book as I had never felt with any

,
other th at it was my mi ssion to write it

,
.
But let us leave the private aspect of the matter with

its particularities and painfulne ss and also th e personal,
destiny underl ying it This would be more suitable for a

.
private conversation than for public discussion In a con .
versation of thi s nature I could hint at the curiou s asso

,
~
ci ati on applicable in this case also between thoug h t and ,
su ff ering experience and imagination adventure and sym

, ,
bol and could outline the temperamental force s the

, ,
change of attitude and the internal focusing of the per

,
sp ective that was required in order that this most delicate ,
adventitious and dawning element should take on a higher

,
form conforming to law and order A t rare moments

,
.
and in a tranquil state o f mind we feel and perceive all

,
the wrong in the world A nd in order to express even a

.
small part of this and by means of ideas or vi sion to

,
O ff er humanity comfort or guidance it is necessary that ,
we should have had our eyes opened by some personal

sorrow and should acquire almost the tranquillity o f a god ,
who knows the purpose of the storm while it is still raging .
This is a hard task you have set me and as I pro ,
ceed to compl y I find the difficulties almost i nsur moun t

,
able Apart from the necessary consideration o f space I

.
,
am quite unaccustomed to express m y self in thought and

speech and fear I shall appear a poor figure to a man of
,
such system and order as yourself The scope is so vast .

,
the phenomena s o numerous that it paralyzes and confuses

,
one ; the thousandfold destinies each po sitive in its own

,
sphere make one hesitate to form j udgments I see thi s

, .
and that man acting according to his nature convictions , ,
and character in correspondence with external and in

,
ternal circumstances in a particular way A ct thus he .
must it is a question of necessity or destiny : and in the

,
ha v e ma r r ia ges c on tr a cted i n c o mpl ete in di ff er en c e o r

sa i d o f
d isc on so a e r esign a tion ? He c ould ha v e sketc hed m en w ho ob
l t
ta in a w i f e by c r a f t , muc h a s th ey w ou ld a posi tio n o r a tip o n
th e sto c k exc ha n ge o th er s w h o th i n k o f ma rr i a ge a s they w ou ld

,
of o in t o a c o ff ee-h ou se a n d en j oyi n g a game o f c a r d s, a n d

g g
th o se w h o ha v e th e c h o ic e o f sui c i d e o r mar r i a ge a n d p r e f er
th e l a tter So m e m en pa i d thei r mi str esses w i th their w i v es
’
.
m on ey ; o ther s ma d e th eir w i v es i n to pr osti tutes a n d pl aye d th e

fin e gen tl ema n i n a so c i ety that k n o w s ev erythi n g ab o ut them
an d shu ts y i t ll
i ts s l
e es t o
g s s c n d l i a
s v i d ,d a H on a a a a o e . e
c uld h v
o t ld a f m n w h h d b n i mp s d n f r y r s
e o o e o a ee o e o o ea ,
w h h d pl d g d th i r s ul s f th i w i v s i n t g i ty ; f m l ’
o a e e e o or e r e e r o or a
sl u gg ds w h f u d i t c v n i n t t n ti n thi g s s n t
ar o o n on e e o o ce o n , o a o
to h v a t s ec i fi oc t h i a r w n c m f te; f l v
e r o - St i c k n m n w h o or o o e r e e o
b c m sl v s f th ir w i v s n d m n w h w c k d th ir
e a e a e or e e ,
a e o re e e
w i v s h l th b c us th y u d st d s mu c h b out w m n s
’ ’
e ea e a e e n er oo a a a o a
b dy s b utch d s b ut si lk spi i g
o a a er oe a o nn n .
H c u ld h v t ld f w m n f r w h m b ll -d r ss m n t
e o a e o o o e o o a a e ea
m r th n th h l th f th i r c hi ld n ; f th s w h pu t th m
o e a e ea o e re o o er o e
s lv s
e n
e l v l w i th h us h ld im l s p r tly ut f t r n d
O a e e o e o an a ,
a o o er ro a
p artly t b g uoi l t h i e h u sb n d s e O t h r w
e r m n d i fi d tah i r . e o e e e e
husb n d s n d i th i r i d l try w uld h v p r f r r d t t r th i r

a ,
a n e o a o a e e e e o ea e
h ea rts ut th
o th n ra ll w th ms lv s t b c n vin d th t
er a a o e e e o e o ce a
th s m n w
e e e
pu y m r t l s er e l ittl gi v n to r gu y Th
n o a ,
a e e o er . er e
w e w m n wh
er o u s d u p th i r h
e o l th i n y ly p gn n c i s
e e ea ear re a e ,
w hi l the m st r f th f mi ly f l i g th t h h d d n h is
e a e o e a ,
ee n a e a o e
duty sp n t his n i ghts in inn s n d c l ub s w ith mist ss s S m

,
e a or re e . o e
w m n w st d th m
o e a y th t th ir hu b n d s rn d w i th gr t
e e on e a e s a ea e ea
d iffic ul ty n d th s s v d v ry h ll w hi l th i r m f lk
,
a o er a e e e e er e e en o
th w
re w y h un d d s
a a f th us n d s i n s n s l ss sp c ul ti n
re O o a e e e e a o .
Th r w ch i ty f u i s w h s h us s w
e e ere ar - r e s un i n h b i t b l
, so e o e er e a a a e a
ra i l w y st ti s
a Th w i n t ll tu l n d spi itu l min s
a on . er e er e e ec a a r a or ,
wh h d bo a f d i t m r i g t f d w y th
een or c e n o a r a e o a e a a ere .
H c uld h v
e o
pl i n d h w
a l l
e ex t h s d i ff a n t
e
p p l p ir o a e e er e eo e, a
a f t r p i r d r pp d i t m rr i g
e a , o f i v l u s n d i gn r n t
e n o a ft n a e, r o o a o a , o e
h l f st n g s t
a ra ch er th w i th u t suffic i n t s n s
o ea o of er , o e e e
re sp n si b i l ity
o n d st b i l ity f t mp
a m nt a Th y b th w r o e er a e . e o e e
d is pp in t d n d in fl ic t d d is pp i tm n t n th s Th y
a o e a e a o n e o o er . e
sig d ne nt c ts w hi h th y h d n
co ra i t ti n f k pi g v n s
c e a o n en o o ee n ,
e e a
th y s t th
e e
p n si d e d w hi l e th i n k w s sti ll w t n the
e a e an e a e o
B OU RGE O I S MARR I AGE 20 1
p p a er . Th er e w er e c oup es l w ho pr o d uc d e Chi ld r en to w ho m the

lv
i es of th ei r p a r en ts w er e l ik e a ni
gh tm ar e . Ho w th ey ca me
to b th m
hi m, o en a n d w o m en , pa n ti n g to get f r ee o f ea c h o ther ;
yb g
ho w the ar a nei d ,
t
h o w sh or thei r m em o r i es w er e, h o w th e y
l d d d
s an er e p d n ann th r ! Hextr d n t mp t s ti
ose o e a o e a e , co e ,
a e ty ,
a nd ff r n t a s d v ry d ign ity v y r m mb r n
o er a e f th
e e ,
e er e e a ce o e
ex ch n g af w h t h d n c b n h ly v w s
e o a a o e ee o o .
H c uld h v d sc i b d ll this n d h v dd d t i t th j y
e o a e e r e a a a e a e o e o
o f th t tisti i n w h sh w s i r f ut b l f cts n d p n un c s
e s a c a ,
o o r e a e a a ro o e
th l w e f c us ti n
a oB ut i t pp a s th t his mi n d w s
a o n
. byss a ea r a a a a
in t w hic h
o ch c s w i th ll i ts tt n d n t ss c i ti ns f ll l i k
ea a e, a a e a a o a o ,
e e
a st in t
on e d p w ll H k pt th m l c k d up i n th d pths ;
o a ee e . e e e o e e e
th y u ld n t b r sc u d r b r u ht t l
e co og th ei ght f d y
e e o o o e o a .
R p titi n O f t n n v t s m n s Spi it N v r th l ss i t
e e o e e er a e a a
’
r . e e e e
must n t b p sum d th t i t w s j ust this th t p ss d s h v i ly

o e re e a a a re e o ea
o n L u di n s t
a m k i ts ff t a m k d o It h d a th i n g t
e e ec re ar e . a no o
d w i th h i s p f ssi n l w k
o P h ps cir umst c s w r
ro e o a or . er a c an e e e
o p ti v
er a h r th t
e h c u ld n t
e e c c un t f r a n d th s w e o o a o o , a e e er e
str n g r
o m r w ryin g n d t m n ti g th n hi s d l i b
e ,
o e ea ti n s a or e n ,
a e er a o ,
j ud i i l x min ti n s n d n g ti ti ns P ssib ly p t c l w ith

c a e a a o ,
a e o a o . o a ro o o
i ts dr y en um er a ti o n s a n d r egi str a ti o n s w a s a t ti m es m o r e el o
q u en t f o r h i m th a n th e o qu a c i o us statem en ts w or o f m o uth l by d
an d a ll th e a m en ta ti on a n d l
isc o n ten t th a t m en a n d w om en d
d isc l o se d to hi m Th . er e w as so m uc h h i dd en b ehi n d it a ll , so
th at w h a t th e y tu llyac a sa i d w as n o t th e l
pr i n c ipa m a tter , w as n o t
th e ter r i bl e c a r i c a tu r e, th e tr em en d o us di sen c h an tm en t B ut i t .
w a s that w hi c h l ay i mp i e eh i n i t a ll l db d —
i t m ust b e m emb er e d re
k
tha t h e n ew It, ha d to n ow i t : th e m a n y k di m l abyr i n ths o f mi s
er
y c ll c ti n s f w i tt n n d p i n t d m tt r
, o e o o i pts n d pr f s
r e a r e a e ,
r ec e ,
a oo
o f tr h y n d d c i t c n t i n d i n ll m nn r f p p s w hi h
ea c er a e e o a e a a e o a er ,
c
w uld h v t b sh w n n d th n p r s v d un ti l th y tu n d
o a e o e o a e e er e e r e
y ll w i n th d c um n t b in t Th y w th k ys w ith w hic h
e o e o e ca e . e er e e e
h c uld p n th i r d w ll i n gs p l c s f
e o o e c ur
e d h t d ; th e ,
a e o r an o an a re e
b d r ms in w hi h ki ss s tu d t p i n n d mb r s t p sms
e oo c e rn e o o so a e ac e o s a
o f g ra H k n w th i r s c
e . ts eth i r hi dd e
n l t i n ships ; i t e e re ,
e e re a o
w s h i s t sk t d s
a This s n l f d iss n i n t m d w ith
a o o o . ar e a o e s o ee e
p oo f s ; b th m m ry n d i m gi n ti n w r fill d w i th i t l i k
r o e o a a a o e e e ,
e
a
p dl es p c k stu
ar ff d ’
w i th w ar m - t n t ru m
p y w ieth d i ty o ea e er ,
r ,
bi rr p tty n d b h r n t t ifl s n gin g f r m s i l d b d
za e, e ,
a a or e r e ,
ra o a o e e
p i d mi ll i n r s b i ll f r m th s n i c r si d u
’
t n un
o a a e in c o ff , o e ar e e e a ee
c up to a g f
a r ter
oun i d
n a ho te , f r o m a f o r ge l n ote to a f o r ge d d
c h eque . T l
h en the etter s, m oun ta in s o f th em , m ou n tai n s o f i es, l
of suff er in g, In su tin
g l
an d f u of h p oc r i ti c a ll p r o m i ses y l .
H a l
gg g i d v
n , en ea r in g, a o w in ,
g g gbl
a m i n , fl a tter i n , sc o ffi n , e x e
g
c r a tin g, a n d e
gg gi nb l
e tter s ; so m e u n r a mma ti c a , o th ers i n a
g l
no bl e st eyl . T b “
l
h en usi n ess etter s : I h a e the h o n ou r to i n f o r m v
y o u ,
”
f ll
o ow e d by ll
c a o u s p er fi dy h er e w er e
p . T
o eti c o ut o ur
p
y
i n gs ; thr ea ten in g, sp i n g, a n d exp r ess etter s ; a ff ec tin g o e-l et l l v
l v
ter s an d etter s o f f o r gi en ess, a n d a gai n o thers f u o f ha tr e ll d
an d d vl
e i i sh c a umn l y .
P ossibly you find this a very gloomy picture perhaps ,
too gloomy to be true But you will doubtless take into .
a ccount that in a poetic st ructure the light and dark ele ,
ments as in life itself shade into one another ; and if one

, ,
i s taken o ut and looked at separately th e whole easily ,
becomes deranged I do not see that L audin s experience

.
’
di ff ers materiall y from that of the persons who had to go

through these things themselves either in the capacity o f ,
negotiators su ff erers or mere Observers The fact is

, ,
.
s imply thi s : O utward and inward law not only have noth ~
ing in common but actually destroy on e another

,
.
Formerly mysticism religion church and clerical in , , ,
fl uences and forces were at work deep down beneath the

surface of middle cla ss life These determined the life
-
.
of s ociety as well as that o f the individual G eneration .
after generation were educated to conform to certain rules ,

inwardly and outwardly to conform to immutable con
ven ti o n s In spite of the exceptions that private life
.
a ff orded and the tragic confu sion o f some individual cases ,
however much destinies were intertwined the whole was

governed by a fixed order which though only apparent ,
was indi sputable It rested on tradition wh ich in the

.
,
cour se of time lost much of its strength and worthiness

because of its decaying roots Thus in place of obedience .
and conviction and all the many related virtues a mere ,

2 04 J AKO B W A S S ERMAN N
populations but even meets with resistance due to revo

,
l uti on ar y and reformative aspirations That the social .
system has long lost its sacred and inviolable character and
h as taken on in its stead a haphazard , superficial opp or ,
tuni st and even frivolous on e becoming a thing of the

, ,
moment and the fashion merely sensual and therefore

,
S h allow merely economic and consequently spiritless and

, ,
has formed a mere outward alliance can be no great sur ,
prise to you and me We watched each from his own

.
,
tower for some tens of years the growing symptoms of ,
this disea se and dreaded what time has proved to be only

,
too well founded It may perhaps be obj ected that mar

.
r i age was not always looked upon as a sacrament and cer ,
tain ly not by all people ; for example during the romantic ,
period in G ermany marriages were contracted annulled

, , ,
and contracted again as if it were a matter Of travelling

,
to another holiday resort or exchanging furniture First .
this was true only of an i solated group whose activities

were looked upon with surprise if not disgust by the gen , ,
eral public ; in the second place the custom was in the , ,
main the outcome of a rule O f life that was carried to

,
excess It was nothing evolutionary or organic but a

.
,
voluntary matter obtained by childish obstinacy or

,
achieved by philosophic speculation .
I must naturally exclude here everything in the nature

of adultery and the alluring fashionable conventions from
,
which it arose with their mixed relationships as well as

, ,
the uniform tragic character or somewhat superficial irony

and cheerfulness w h ich brought a whole literature into
being and was inspired by a specific cultural spirit
( G oethe s Wah lver wandtsch aften crowns thi s develop
’
ment with a maj estic verdict ) In reality adultery con

.
firms marr iage ; the moral basi s is accepted defection ,
from which entail s punishment O r to put it better it is .

, ,
B OU RGEO I S MARR I AGE 2 05
accepted where the sin is recognized Both conscience .
and society inflict punishment ; woman loses her purity ;

the deceived becomes ridiculou s ; the law of might modi ,
hed by the marriage code , is introduced A ll these things .
point to the indissolubility o f the bond and the catastro

h es attendant on its dissolution , at least in the case o f
p
woman .
Today this basis no longer exists The tradition is out .
lived N ew possibilities new forms are only in the

.
, ,
.
process o f evolution and are only so to speak adapted

, , ,
to life by a cho sen few and forced up on society It must

,
.
naturally grapple with the trivial misunderstandings ,
caricatures and c on tr ef agon for there has never yet been

, ,
an emancipation that was not compromised by the ma

j or ity o f its adherents The dangerous uncertain condi
.
,
tion in which it is at present can be noticed in every mid ,
dle class family

-
The realization Of this impending
.
shock may have urged you to sound th ealarm that brought

me to your side O f what avail is sub stantiation where
.
,
the countless variety of the phenomena each worthy to ,
be considered and proved of G od mocks at the p ossibility ,
of comprehensive treatment ? I have attempted to give

a rough sketch by emplo y ing a central figure I see that .
thi s does not sufli ce What is to be accounted right and

.
what wrong ? Which supports are to be pulled down and ,
which built up ? Which is the most mortally wounded

part of the social organism ? The latter is like a veritable
Job leprou s and unruly rushing toward its fate E ach
, ,
.
would need a doctor for itself— the wisest and most de

voted physician he would have to b e— and where su ff er
ing ceases and crime commences a spiritual adviser and ,
j udge with the attributes of saint and prophet would be

, ,
r equired The serfdom of woman which is a survival

.
,
from barbaric times prevents her from standing in a

,
proper relation to her r Ol e in private and social life ; on

th e ot h er hand there i s h er luxuriou s life to be taken into
,
c on sideration w h i c h degrade s man into a bea st of burden

,
.
E conomic and material fa cts outweigh under th e in cr eas ,
ingly di ffi cult condition s of life con siderations of a high er

,
category such as moral and spiritual values Birth con

,
.
trol become s a deci sive factor in the peace and prosperity

of the household What toll h as to b e paid in nerve s
.
and spirit for the customary use of contraceptives ! The

damage caused by abortive surgical mea sure s i s not only
bodily but deeply wounds woman s p syche though in
,
’
,
s ome individual ca s e s this i s not al w a y s noticeable at once .
Be side s it everlastingly burdens the popular con science ;

,
but thi s is a chapter to it self If any one however were.

, ,
able to calculate these ravage s he would arrive at a mo st ,
a stounding result As long as the law continues in its

.
bizarre stubbornne ss to proclaim the inferiority O f woman ,
she will revenge herself by unconsciou s impul se and op

position ; and by her embittered attitude toward th e per
son and existence of man sh e makes a veritable prisoner
,
of him becau se h is desire for freedom still per si sts in

, ,
spite of life being beset by conflicts In general the .
emancipation from a bondage that is considered unworthy

rarely leads to a dignified condition Confusion beget s .
confusion hatred increa ses hatred, and error grows of

,
error j u st a s if the eye that was once dazzled and the

, ,
soul once spotted could never again become completely

,
pure N aturally this is not the ca se O nly an et h ical

. .
imperative is lacking ; guidance b y love or wi sdom is

necessary ; authorit y is wanting Above all there is a need .
,
for righ t feeling and an instinct for the true binding ,
realities which come of the spirit Where fal se and .
ep h emeral t h ings are held as realities t h at is to say where , ,
action and j udgment are opportunist all th e su fl er ing and ,

2 08 JAKO'
B W A S S ERMAN N
i mp o r ta n c e I a m c on en t th a t f o r e er
. ma v y l nd f m l fid e a e a e
dvd l
in i i ua th er e i s o n ly l
o n e c o m p em en t p o ssi e b l W h t hu m n . a a
soc i ty w u ld g i n
e o by ti n u l i
a s
,
f ppr p i t ly
a c on a n c r ea e o a o r a e
m tc h d p i s i n p c
a e a r
p l u
,
b u y n y ea n d i n pu r i ty
e, eas d r e, o a c ,
a an
l n l in s is h dly i m gi b l
c ea e s, arC s qu tly ll at i ti na s e. on e en a r es r c on
re r d i g th
a n h i f m e ct sh uld b
o ce o m v d ; n i th
a m n
a e o e re o e e er e
g
n r w m n
o oh u ld b h i n d
e s d by m l d ium th b u d n f
o e er e or a o ,
e r e o
t i
a er n ty m t h h
or d r b y c n si d
o er ti n s foo v i tu f m
o o er a o o r e, ro
p ,
t sti g
e nnd p i n i n g l l th d i ff
a ex er e nt f ms f ph n m n
c a e er e or o e o e a
and dv tu w hi h ist i n th i d si r s n d i m gi ti n If
a en re c ex e r e e a a na o .
th y p
e ss i ti
osse t th y w i ll m k i t ll th k n r ; i f th y
ns nc ,
e a e a e ee e e
h v a e aw i ll t s i l l i f i t w i ll l d th m t th i g l
o oc a e, Any ea e o e r oa .
thi g i p
n f s b l t w h t is t p n t t m d m i g D
re er a e o a a r ese er e arr a e. o
n t f
o thea r u
pp ssi e s f m l s re v n th i on om p l t d i s l uor a or e e e r co e e so
ti o n . W hat c an b e w o r se tha n th a t w hi c h sti fl es th e sp i r i t ? NO

pr ic e is to o hi gh f o r e v en th e a ttemp t t o b r in
g a b uto a C ha n
ge .
v y v
In e er p er son , e en i n su c h a s app ea r mo st r ec ess, th er e i s a n kl
d
i n h er en t esi r e to a tta i n a an c e hi s must a n d w i nab l . T ll fi lly
c o n u er e e r
q f v y
or m o f e en er a ti o n
g A h st er i c a s p d
a sm ha s . y l
c h a in e d
o ur w o r ld l
w i th a w s a n d c usto ms tha t w er e o n c e si gn ifi
c a n t a n d n ec essa r , b ut w hi c h to a y
a r e sen se ess an d m er e so dy l ly
y y k
ma n em pt h us s Si n c e c api ta p un i sh m en t h a s een a o ish e ,
. l b b l d
b
th e n u m er o f mu r er s c o m mi tte ha s ec r ea se d r o h i i ti o n s d d d . P b
k l
ma e c r i mi n a s ; p un i sh m en ts c r ea te c r i m es h er e i s so meth in g . T
d l
w on er f u i n m a n , a n a r en t esi r e th a t c a nn o t b e sti e , w hi c h d d ll d
w as c on e fid d
to th e go o i n h i m , e en i f th at go o b e m er e d as v d ly
a t1n y g r ai n .
That is all that I have to say A nd if you find my .
treatment of th e subj ect inadequate take into benevolent ,
con sideration the embarras sment in wh i ch th e subj ect h as

placed me I tru st that I have not w earied you nor taken
.
,
up too much of your valuable space .
R espectfull y y our s ,
JAKO B WASSERMANN .
M A R T A K A R L W E I S
M a rri age an d the Cha n gi n g W o ma n
W
IT H IN the domain of Christian culture both as r e ,
gards time and space the marriage order appears

,
at a definite time to have been converted into a problem .
Unhappy marriages there have always been but they did ,
not constitute a problem any more tha n the appearance

,
o f ugly or defective children in a f ew odd families p oints

‘
to the general degeneration o f the race M arriage b e .
comes a matter for extreme anxiety, care and discu ssion ,
only when woman who is its feminine hemisphere begins

, ,
consciously to free herself from the feeling of dependence

on the male hemisphere .
There is no other fetish that society holds to so firmly

“ ”
as the conception woman with all its u sual associations
,
of infantilism and dependence E ven today the middle

.
aged man is to be found who maintains in all seriou snes s

that men seek the child in woman The child requires .
protection is a minor and consequently a serf but above

, ,
all it p o ssesses no spiritual exi stence N either doctorates

.
or other distinctions nor the right to vote have as yet been

able to dispel this sweet idea of the childishnes s of woman ,
which man cherishes Her sex alone that ministers to

.
,
h is needs is to incarnate her substance and dignity

,
E ven .
worse : sexual serfdom for his benefit is thought to be the

very foundation of her dignity which again amounts to a
,
glorification of man s self—indulgence Thi s constitutes

’
.
a vicious circle of dependence Woman won recognition

.
2 09
2 10 MART A KARL W E I S
only on account of her sex and is thus debarred from -all
intellectual and spiritual development O nly an in
.
tellectual exi stence can be called independent S ex is the

.
o n e thing that i s con stant and immutable A fif teen year

.
-
O l d girl is j ust as fit to s erve sexually as a woman of fort y .
We see everywhere that there is nothing the average

middle -class man obj ects to so much as to find that his
forty-year Old wife lacks some characteri stics of the girl
-
of fifteen This becomes the more evident if it is borne

.
in mind how even the simple st young girl put s all her
pride and honour into the determination that her hu sband
Should b eco me s omething that he should continually de
,
vel op ; that is that he should not remain what he was but

, ,
change Under no consider atl on does she want him to

.
remain on th e same level as that on which she learned to

love him and cho se him But the stronger and con se
.
quently the more valuable the man s personality is to

’
which she has attached her destiny the more is she

,
threatened by the precept which co mmands : Do not

change ; remain j ust as I ch ose you for thus you are the
,
s tationar y pole in my exi stence .There was nothing un

reasonable in thi s as long as woman s evolution stopped at
’
the moment she became fully developed sexually ; thi s

includes bodily maturity maternity and the innumerable
, ,
variations of p sychological change thus given rise to But .
the life of the soul cannot be too carefully distinguished

here from mental and spiritual life What was a reason
.
—
able claim the Claim that woman should not change
became an endeavour to thwart the growth of life in the
case of female individuals whose minds as well as their
,
s ouls were capable of development . For woman is sub

j ec t to the same evolutionary laws as man N Ow indi .
vi duali ty commences only in the intellectual sphere and

,
here one might state a j us i ndividuati onis for wom an,

2l 2 MART A KARL W E I S
ing characteristics of the fif teen-year-old In order to
gain admittance to her new evolutionary phase po sses ses
no lord or ma ster even if she gratefully recognizes
,
her husband s thousand—

’
times higher capacities Beyond .
mother and pro stitute the student and worker type has
,
appeared struggling unceasingly toward the light S he

,
.
al so is permitted to struggle N 0 longer is the spiritual

.
s ensuous side o f religion her exclusive part S he has her .
pleasure in cr eati on and law and the more thoroughly she

,
comprehends the principles the freer does she become

,
.
O nly at thi s stage can form become a vital question to the

genius of woman Consequently the few great women
.
,
who were creative geniuses must be looked upon as

Spiritual exi stences For the woman who h as changed
.
in thi s manner the world also becomes a pageant of

,
wonderful eternal changes But here sh e is threatened

,
.
by the precept of man as lover : D O not change yourself ,
for who can guarantee that you will remain lo y al during

the process ?
When loyalty is made the battle -cry then the rea son ,
for man s restrictive attitude becomes apparent S ince

’
.
in reality only a person who se intellect is awake is subj ect

to a law which he can understand it follow s that marriage ,
and the idea of the family are no longer a matter entirely

under the j uri sdiction of men but are equally dependent ,
on the will of man and woman M arriage seems .
originally to have been forced on man his wife and ,
children hanging around his neck weighing him down ; ,
and human society looks upon these conditions as a n eces

s ary state of equilibrium Woman functions in a p as
.
sively centripetal manner against the active centrifugal
force o f man But man as the representative of s ocial

.
life do es not wi sh to lo se at any price this pa ssive limiting

force and he looks upon i ts transformation into an active
,
MARR I AGE A ND T HE C H AN G I N G W O MAN 2 13
force that is to say on e consciou sly functioning with

, , ,
grave mistrust He knows what the demons of consciou s

.
ness are in his own breast and he shivers when he pictures

,
to himself the soul Of his mate It is not merely despoti sm

.
that urges him to O ff er resistance A world that depends .
entirely on the male principle o f evolution is ru shing to

ward its own destruction .
E very movement of importance has its ridiculous side ,
and consequently it will not be out o f place here to glance

for a moment at the irritating caricature o f the emanci
p ated woman at
,
the intellectual pretentiousness full o f
swollen bombast the want o f foundation and reality in
, ,
“
all grades from the simple bluestocking to the high
,
”
brow literary woman The latter by the way is a figure
.
, ,
that has been drawn often and clearly enough from

M oli ere on down to S trindberg so that in this case the ,
caricature appeared before the reality and the spurious ,
proved the forerunner o f the genuine .
L et us now return to the idea of sexual loyalty which ,
has been endangered It must be admitted from the very

.
outset that the mystic and sacred character o f sex relations ,
and the taboo attaching to them cannot exi st as such , , ,
for the intellectually conscious individual Emanc ipated .
woman can never wholly and simply sanctify a function an ,
impulse or a requirement not even if it f orms part of the

, ,
institution o f marriage For her only such love relations

.
,
-
are holy as guarantee the most ample scope for her spirit
ual and intellectual development O f course a sanction .
,
of this nature does not o ff er the same guarantee for the

family that the mystical taboo relating to customs which
are now becoming decadent did at o n e time As a type .
,
emancipated woman is well suited to motherhood but not ,
to the same extent to e stabli shing a family from a s ocial

—
point of view a phenomenon which law and morals will
2 14 MART A KARL W E I S
have to face Woman conquers th e world through the
.
medium of man ; it is no longer consi stent to look upon

her as a pro stitute becau se on her road to knowledge to
, ,
th e conquest of th e world sh e has continually to give her

,
s elf anew in order to gain a new comprehen sion

,
.
The masterful progres sive woman of powerful per

,
s on a l ity doe s not at fir st s eem to belong to a di scussion of
th e relation of the tran sformed woman to marriage .
N everth eless sh e does fit in here inasmuch as the r ecogn i ,
tion of her exi stence should definitely influence the funda

mental attitude O f man toward the delicate and sacred
subj ect of marriage For once the woman has made the
.
,
male principle of movement her own or rather h as been , ,
forced to do so by some inexplicable de stiny then it ap ,
pear s that the di slodged equilibrium can only be r e estab - x
l ish ed b y th e man s acquiring a capacity which w as form

’
erly only po ssessed b y woman and w hi ch is characteristic

of per sons in subj ection We mean here the virtue of
.
at ten ti on wh ich developed out of a defensive attitude

,
adopted b y serfs and wh ich is the mo st humane of all the

virtues if love goes hand in h and wit h it L et us state
,
.
it at th e out set : M arriage in the case of the emancipated

w oman require s much more love and creates much more ,
love t h an the average happ y marr iage of tranquil times

,
did By a tten ti on is meant the mo st delicate sympathy

.
for one s nearest fellow—men ; in t h i s sense it h as nothing

’
to do with the polite attention of s ocial cir cle s This deli .
cate virtue is bey ond chivalry and courtesy It is never .
quiescent always mobile the gra cious companion of every

, ,
form of vital evolution It is like a divinity never tired ;

.
,
it is the humble little soul of that dual creature which a

married couple essentially is It never sleep s ; it n ever .
tru sts in the sen se of letting things go ; nor does it ever

in si st on rights legal or erotic as in the sense of property
, ,
.
It is this which like a living genius takes the place o f the

, ,
B E A T R I C E M . H IN K L E
M a rr i age in t he Ne w W o rl d
M ONG the many subj ects agitating the minds of the
A people of the United States today none compares in
its insistence and acuteness with the question of the future
of the institution of marriage in A merica A complete .
change in attitude often i n the form of a violent revolt

,
against the former ideals and customs a ff ecting the mar

r i age relation is in full swing and the general un cer
, ,
tainty and instability in the relation is probably more

marked than in any other country P eople all over the .
land are aroused b y the disturbed conditions and are argu

ing writing and preaching about it from all angles in an
, , ,
e ff ort to stem the tide of di saffection and disruption which

is making such inroads on thi s ancient institution .
It i s too late The will of youth together with the

.
,
forces of social and economic change are in full posses ,
sion of the situation and only a s eer would attempt to pre

,
dict what the outcome will be or when the final stage of

disintegration will be reached N evertheless there may
.
,
be discerned definite tendencies which suggest possibilities

o f the future direction and render a study of the actual
conditions of considerable importance in guiding, if not

in stemming the rapid movement
, .
The chaotic state of marriage is not confined to the

United States ; the same warning s are heard in E ngland ,
where similar con d1t1ons are di scu ssed and an anxiety is

manifested which approximates our own O ne que stions .
2 16
MARR I AGE I N TH E NEW W ORLD 2 17
whether the general disruption is peculiar to the A nglo

S axon nations and if so whether it i s due to the failure
, ,
of the romantic ideal on which their marriages have been

based.
There are differences in the A merican situation , how

ever, which it is necessary to understand in order to ac ~
count for the earlier beginnings of the laxity and the more
exaggerated conditi ons manifested at present .
The most striking characteristic among the younger

generation is the utter absence o f any sense o f r esp on si m
bility or regard for anything except what a ff ects their

personal feelings O bligations to society or custom even
.
,
duty to children when they conflict with the individual s

,
’
own wishes scarcely exist With none o f the Old restrain

,
.
ing influences marriage is entered into lightly and care

,
lessly ; even trial marriages and trial separations are f re

quent ; divorce and remarriage follow each other in quick
succession and children are passed back and forth between
,
the parent s whose only communication with each other

,
is through their lawyers The disre spect and careless at

.
titude o f children toward their parents is not a new phe

n o men on but the disregard and neglect o f parents wh o
, ,
pursue their own pleasures with little consideration o f

their duties to their children is one o f recent develop
,
ment These conditions ar e found not only among the

.
latest generation ; the older group as well is s w ept along .
Further there is evident all over the United S tates a

,
growing disinclination toward marriage and this cannot ,
be considered to bear any relation to di ff erences in pro

p or tio nate numbers o f the sexes such as exists in E ngland ;
,
for here the numbers of men and women are about equal .
O f much more influence is the frequency of divorce the ,
di slike of responsibility on the part of men and the eco ,
nomic independence and greater demands in marriage on

2 18 B EA T R I C E M HI N KLE.
the part of women In the thought of modern youth

.
marriage is not the most important event in life .
N order to gain s ome insight into the forces operating

I to produce the extreme position occupied by th e
United S tates in thi s matter today it is nece ssary to review
briefl y the unu sual conditions that have characterized our
national and s ocial life and to remember not only the
youth of the nation but th e e ff ect of a primitive environ
ment upon the spirit O f a people In the one hundred .
and fifty years of our national exi stence we have passed

from a struggle with the wilderne ss and from the mo st
primitive ways of life to a period of the mo st intense in
dustr i alism
. E xperiences and ach ievements which nor
mally occupy many centuries have followed one another
with startling rapidity Intolerance of restraint haste im
.
, ,
patience with dela y are all characteri stics fostered by our

,
environmental conditions and they are now playing their

,
part in the marriage situation .
A merican laws and social attitude and customs were

modelled originally on the E ngli sh code and the same r o ,
mantic ideal of love and happine ss for the individual

S O beautiful in theor y and so difli cult o f attainment
ruled the marriage choice .
The severe legal restrictions surrounding women ac

cording to E ngli sh marriage laws were rigidly adhered
to by the early P uritan settlers In addition their con
.
,
c e ti on of duty and re spon sibilit y w as entirely oppo sed to

p
the ideal of happiness for the individual after marriage .
The people held to a stern moral and religious attitude

and looked upon a divorced woman or one separated from
her h u sband regardles s of the cau se as standing for ever
, ,
in the shadow of di sgrace This was the beginning and

.
,
220 B EA T RI C E M . H I N KLE
between the sexe s and to bring about a more equal rela
tion This in turn a fl ects the women who become con
.
, , ,
scious of th eir own value and gain th e capacity for that

consciou sness of self which h as been the distinctive quality
of masculine psychology and is necessary to command r e
spect .
Thu s informally great modifications were made in the

, ,
ol d standard s regulating marriage brought over from E ng
land M oreover becau se O f the autonomou s Character

.
,
o f the states into which this country is divided a curiou s ,
sit uation o f considerable p sychological significance has .
ari sen E ach state as it entered the Union brought its

.
, ,
own laws and these were either preserved or modified

,
according to the predominant type and original nation

ality o f its citizens Thus it happens that there are
.
scarcely two state s that agree in their laws regulating mar

r i age and divorces and remarriages which are legal in one
,
are null and void in another There are only two i ssues .
o n which all of the state s have s imilar laws — bigamy and

incestuous marriages In other respects the restrictions
.
range from no divorce at all to the greatest latitude .
Although such a situation arises primarily from the

psychology of the people it in turn influences the atti , , ,
tude of those living under it Therefore it is quite i m .

,
po ssible to discuss the condition of marriage in the United

S tates as a homogeneous a ff air for there exist side by ,
side all forms of and attitudes toward this ancient in stitu

tion form s quite as varied and heterogeneous as the laws
,
o f the d i fl er en t states .
Thi s lack of uniformit y in the external status has tended

to produce an e ffect similar to that produced by too many
laws : it has cau sed individuals to di sregard law and the
formal aspect and to take matters into their Own hands ,
becoming a law unto themselves and conducting their

MARR I AGE IN T H E N EW W ORLD 22 1
relationships according to the dictates of their own im

mediate desires A s a conseque nce we have group s for
.
,
whom marriage p ossesses the same binding p ower as of

old existing next door to p ersons wh o are practically es
,
pousing a trial marriage .
Al l o f these conditions ar e the special obj ective i nflu

en ces that have contributed to produce the particular s tate
of chaos and disturbance which a fflicts marriage in A mer

ica today .
HE great change in the labour conditions o f women

T inaugurated by the industrial revolution began
when the country was still very young The e ff ect upon .
American women was not general or profound h owever , ,
for a long time since our grandmother s in large numbers

,
were still pioneers in some parts of this vast country O ne .
by on e however the factory took over the domestic oc

, ,
cup ati on s o f women while the men became more and

,
more preoccupied with the pursuit of material values and

the lure o f the opportunities for exploitation O ff ered by
the new country This left the women and children
.
largely to themselves : the men after their intensive ,
labour had little time or energy for the family or the

,
love -life o r for the development o f those cultural and

spiritual values which underlie a true companionship and
are so neces sary to women for any satisfactory married
—
relationship A s a sub stitute for this as soon as the men
.
were able- they lavi shed money and material pos se ssions
upon their wives looking to them t o symbolize the suc
,
cess and prosperity which they themselves were too busy

to enj oy .
As individual wealth increased this condition spread ,
and its influence permeated all classes Practically all .
American husbands will say when asked why they work ,

222
’
B EA T R I C E M H I N KLE
.
so hard and intensively that they do it for their families

,
.
This is the fiction wh ich they repeat with monotonous uni

formity regardles s of th e fact that these same wives and
,
families frequentl y implore their men to give them less

of material things and more of themselves that they may ,
share interest s together The fact is the men are caught

.
in a mechanism of their own creating which now has b e ,
c ome independent of the individual will and which drives
them on regardle ss of necessity or wi sh

,
.
N or is the problem less acute in the thousands of homes

where wealth does not exist The same industrial M oloch
.
which with one machine has supplanted hundreds o f

brawny men is responsible for the curtailment of that
other great labour of women — the bearing and rearing o f
many children for which there is now no social demand
,
.
The few children and small routine household ta sks left

to women have permitted an enormous amount o f unused
human energy to accumulate without an adequate Obj ect
for its employment For ages women have been the
.
steady labourer s of the world responsible for all that con

,
cerns the welfare of the family and the home The r e .
duction o f this labour and respon sibility by the machine

and factory has fostered idleness and irresp onsibility in
many women .
Thu s there is presented a social condition in which the

mo st violent contrast exi st s between the sexes The hus .
band even in wealthy Circles is so intensely occupied with

, ,
his business interest s that he has no energy left for more

cultural fields or for the family while the wife beca use , ,
she has so much idle time on her hands and no necessity ,
to force her to independent constructive activity becomes ,
unhapp y and neurotic— a waste product without meaning

or purpose Th is idle time lying heavily on the hands o f
.
such large numbers Of women who have been encouraged

,
2 24 '
B EA T R I C E M H I N KLE
.
—
to engage in all forms of labour professional educa ,
ti on al, and indu s trial — that are open to men It is the re .
f usal of the women to become a parasitic class in spite of ,
wealth and even facility to do so t h at is the best in surance

,
against the ultimate di sintegration o f marriage and the de

cay of American civilization For the women in all
.
healthy nations and culture periods have been the f ounda

tion and the upholders of the national life and the final ,
s ickne s s and decay came when wealth and leisure produced
a parasitic class of women unable or unwilling to enter

,
into the new and untried form s o f labour which the mas
culine world o ff ered .
The American woman is typically an active type with ,
a fund of available energy ; t h erefore in order to find a,
s ub stitute for th e Ol d dome stic labour large numbers have

,
pushed eagerly into occupations formerly monopolized

by men .
The enormous expansion of industry the constant de ,
v el o p men t of new fields of labour toget h er with the pre s

,
sure O f the women for opportunities for remunerative
work created a steadily increasing demand for their serv~

,
ices It is safe to say that neither the men nor the women
.
had any conception in advance of what e ff ect the change in

the status of women brought about through working out
,
side the home and the winning of economic independence

,
would produce in the marriage relation For it is not .
po ssible to separate the Changed attitude toward marriage

from the changed status of women O ne is dependent .
upon the other It is women wh o have revolted and for

.
whom the conflict over marriage h as ari sen .
The suppres sion of the woman s individuality and her

’
personal needs and wishes for the sake o f her husband ,
the submersion of herself in h is life and interests and in ,
those o f her children has become no longer acceptable,

,
MARR I AGE I N TH E NEW W O RLD 225
s ince the whole social condition which demanded this h as

changed A nd this applies not only to the present gen
.
er ation O lder women wh o have devotedly followed

.
this ancient path have repeatedly told me that it had been

a mistake , that it did not bring to either husband or wife
the happiness and contentment which was expected from it ,
and that they would not submerge themselves in this way

if they had the experience to live over again .
A n interesting commentary on the submerging e ff ect

o f marriage on women is a fforded by the numerous ln
stances in which wives separated by death or otherwise
from their husbands have blossomed suddenly into happy ,
capable useful individuals E ven among what have ap

,
.
ear ed to be successful marriages there has come about

p , ,
after the final adj ustment had been made to the separa
tion the transformation o f the wife from submergence
, ,
semi invalidism or a dependent inconsequential existence

-
, ,
to a healthy socially valuable personality This tells

,
.
more eloquently than words of the damaging repression

o f the capacities o f the women through marriage where
ever socia l and indu strial conditions place them in a situa

.
tion limiting or inhibiting the full exercise of their active

powers .
I t is obvious why in the past marriage has been con

sider ed o f far more importance to women than to men ,
for Owing to the limitation formerly placed up on women s

,
’
occupation it was only within marriage as child bearer

, ,
-
and resp onsible creator and manager o f the home that ,
sh e could find opportunities for the free exercise of her
capacities .
It is the dislodgment of marriage from the supreme

place in the interest and life o f women that has produced
the situation which a recent writer characterizes as the
greatest revolution that has taken place in regard to mar
r ia e in all history
g .
B EA T R I C E M H IN K L E
those who think in term s of the past and are unable

T
o
to see any possible value arising out o f the destr uc

tion of the Old th e present chaotic condition of the mar
,
r i age relation 1S a tragedy and means only the ultimate
disintegration of our civilization They forget that if .

,
marriage as it has exi sted had been the sati sfactory r e

l ationsh ip which it was supposed to be it i s certain that ,
women would not be In the revolt they are today ; for

even if it has cea sed to be her s ole occupation every woman ,
knows that marriage is still the mo st important function

for her But it is the disintegration o f the outer shell that
.
is producing the modern disturbance ; the substance has

long needed reorganization .
M y own investigations have convinced me that there

is little more unhappiness or mi smating among modern
marriages than t h ere was in the day s of our mothers and
grandmothers The great di fference lies in the changed
.
s ocial attitude toward the married state itself When .
p ractically the only occupation or position for women was

marriage and they were frowned upon or ostracized if
,
they attempted anything di ff erent both economic n eces ,
sity ( especially if there were little children to con sider )
and fear of condemnation kept them fro m expressing

their dissati sfaction and deterred them from taking any
steps toward a reconstruction of the relationship C onse .
quently we heard little Of their difficulties and unhap

,
p i n es
.s Hard pioneering work s till existed for the ma ss
o f women and they were as inarticulate and submi ssive

,
as o f Old to the demands made upon them O nly when .
the intense demand upon them w as lessened and the ,
weight o f nece ssity removed did they begin to become ,
conscious o f their di ssatisfaction .
The movement of women out from the h ome to the

business and professional world has profoundly a ff ected
2 28 B EA T RI C E M H I N KLE
.
divorce trials in every part of the country it was brought ,
out that divorces had increased seventy-fiv e per cent in

ten years and that eighty per cent of all divorce action s
,
were brought by women The attitude of the j udges who

.
,
had listened to testimony given at thousands of trials was ,
unanimously sympathetic with the women ; there was no

condemnation but instead a recognition that it is not di
,
vorce that needs legal restriction but marriage that is ,
diseased and in need O f a complete reorganization M ean .
time women will not accept the marital conditions of the

,
past and the divorce court is the evidence of their dis

,
content The overwhelming part played by the economic

.
factor in holding women to the marriage bond when mar

r i age w as their s ole occupation h as become tragically Clear .
N ecessity held t h em for better or worse , and good

“ ” “ ”
women remained married regardless of the conditions

, ,
“
when divorce barred them from heaven and human s o
ciety ”
.N ow when women from tho se in the highest so
, ,
cial position s to the mother s in factory and mill town s ,
can walk out with their children clinging to them and by

their own labour provide for their care there is no further ,
necessity to accept the wretched relations The entire .
attitude is summed up in the words of a young woman ,

“
Wh y should I wait until I have six children ? I will leave
now while I have only three for there is no future here
,
”
for them or me .
Few men have any real comprehension O f the situation .
O nly those who like the j udges have had wide Op p or

, ,
tunity for unbiased observation of actual marriage condi
tions are able to under stand the p sy ch ology of the women

, .
The others are aware that an unpleasant change has taken

place, on e which renders marriage conditions much more
difli cult for them and they are in full retreat The disin
, .
cli n ati on of men toward marriage is not a recent develop

MARR I AGE IN T HE N EW W O RLD 229
ment , it is true ; but their f ormer attitude was more of an

egotistic unwillingness to give up the plea sure s of bache
lor freedom or to assume the responsibilit y and Obliga
tions o f a family The present attitude is frankly one of
.
fear and uncertainty regarding women .
The girls understand this change on the part O f men

little better than others understand their own attitude .
O ne college trained young woman gave the explanation

-
that men are attracted only to morons ; that the resource

ful serious companionable girls are looked at ask ance ;
, ,
and only the irresp onsible incapable physically attractive

, ,
ones are sought in marriage This may be a statement of

.
fact but it is not an explanation The capable intell ectu

,
.
,
ally developed girl demands much more development

from the man than formerly and will not accept weak
nesses and inferiorities that prevent her respect This .
puts a strain on men and interferes with the operation of

the pleasure principle In addition because of her men
.
,
tal qualitie s thi s sort of girl is less appealing sexually than

,
the purely emotional sensuous type and thus the relation

, ,
is forced upon a new ba sis in which the intellectual aspect

of the personality plays its part as well as the emotional .
The girl enters the marriage state today with a full sense
o f herself as an equal partner in a relation which means a
mutual give and take S he feels she has something to

.
sacrifice for the n ew relation as well as the man There ,

.
is little consideration o f the claims of society or of its

Opinions M arriage is regarded as a purel y pers onal
.
a ff air and the maj or interest lie s In the individual emo

,
ti on al problems and their solution E ven the children.
receive much less consideration than formerly .
O ne has only to talk with the young women j ust gradu

ating from school— and this means not only college but
also the fini shing s chools which cater largely to the
,
230 B EA T R I C E M H I N KLE
.
daughters of wealth y parents— to realize the attitude o f

modern girls M arriage no longer holds the fir st and
.
onl y position in t h eir t h ought : they are bu sily concerned

with the problem of what occupation they shall e spou se
and what training they shall take to fit themselves for it .
It is this demand so universal at present that has influ

, ,
en ced our colleges to e stabli s h cour s es in all sorts o f p r ac
tical subj ects for the whole tendency i s to raise the status
,
of woman s work, so that even in various househ old

’
branches the college training puts the young woman in an

equal class with the young man I do not mean t o imply .
t h at marriage is di sregarded or out of the though t o f these

young women for this is not so O n the contrary owing
,
.
,
to th e timidit y and fear on th e part of men they are more ,
openly in pur suit of husbands than ever before but with ,
this di ff erence— they want to make their own terms In .
stead O f conforming or fitting themselves to the ideal of
the man they are revealing them selves as t h ey really feel

, .
M arriage i s no l onger considered as the substitute for an

occupation nor does it take exclusive place in their
,
“ ”
thoughts It is my work and marriage that they dis
.
cus s
.
P erhaps one O f the factors influencing this attitude to

ward marriage i s the freedom o f thought and action on
sexu al matters that h a s replaced the former prudis h ne ss
and co yness so that the young women Of toda y no longer
,
look upon marriage as their mothers did The ideal of .
virginity h as largely lost its hold on the minds of young

women and the safety that modern knowledge has given
,
them permit s a freedom of action more nearly allied to

that which men have alwa ys enj oyed Their conduct h as .
revealed more eloquently than argument how much fiction

has been bound up with the traditional masculine ideas
regarding their instinctive organization .
'
23 2 B EA T R I C E M . H I N KLE
family The possession o f an earning capacity by the wife
.
contributes to a solution o f this a spect of the problem .
O n the other hand many women in industrial life are

,
earning more money than the men whom they could

marry Their p ositions are of the type that demand all of
.
their time and cannot be continued in connection with

other responsibilities They desire to marry for the sake
.
of the home and children and their out side work is n eces
,
sar ily limited They are thus confronted with the ques '
tion of sacrificing for the sake of marriage the good po si

tion with an independent income often larger than that
of the proposed husband which must then sufli ce for two
,
.
Al l the se and numerous problems brought about by our

industrial age are the external factors largely responsible
for the chaotic condition o f marriage today .
H ERE is however another aspect and significance to

, ,
all this disturbance which is less obviou s and before ,
which the problem of the individual woman or of any one

class of women fades away Thi s concerns its p sych ologi
.
cal significance and its e ff ect upon the race .
For ages woman as an individual creature has been con

si der ed by the masculine mind to be inferior : only as
mother did she p ossess a position and win recognition for

herself Therefore the mother—woman was the ideal
.
toward which all women strove But this was not woman .
as individual and di ff erentiated in this a spect she remained

as far from attainment and recognition as ever The .
present age is strongly individuali stic and it is impossible ,
for women to remain untouched b y thi s tendency Con .
sequently they cannot continue in their ancient path .
M oreover the need for a new direction and an awaken

,
ing of their latent potentialitie s i s very great for if the ,
women remain static and unch anged in their eternal ma

MARR I AGE I N TH E N EW W ORLD 2 33
ternal strength as th ey ar e so Often told they must it is

, .
,
certain that the race will remain psychologically unchanged

and bound fast to them For a maternal woman is the
.
weakness and the despair o f man the one to whom he at ,
last inevitably succumbs The race can move no higher

.
than the women who bear it .
Today women are in a mighty struggle towards dif

f er entiati on and an individual direction They have cast .
aside the maternal ideal as their goal and are demanding

recognition as individual s first and as wives and mother s
,
second They are claiming the right to dispose o f them

.
selves according to their ow n needs and capacities and are

Often blindly reaching forth for that which proves to have
no value But this is an unavoidable part of all lear n mg
.
,
and even foolishness has a value when learning is sought .
I t is in this struggle that the women of A merica form

the vanguard of a vast army Through natural conditions
.
and comparative freedom from the hoary bondage O f tra

dition , they have had the opp ortunity to gain an inde
p endence o f feeling and action which is unknown in the
O ld World In the bloodless revolution that is in prog
.
ress the institution o f marriage which for ages has sym

,
b oliz ed for woman both her bondage and her p ower is ,
inevitably the greatest su ff erer E ven motherhood is no

.
longer held sacred and apart as an end in itself but is

, ,
being subj ected to the same disintegrating process It is .
becoming clear that while all normal women can produce

children not all are mothers in the real sense o f the term ;
,
and women are gaining the courage and honesty to de

clare this openly .
The sexual burden under which woman has struggled

f or so long is being rapidly cast away and the safety from ,
the consequences o f her actions that modern science has

provided is O ff ering her an undreamed Of freedom , which -
234 B EA T R I C E M H I N KLE.
is forcing up on her as an individual the responsibility for

her actions The relation between the sexes is perhaps in
.
a more healt h y and normal state than at any time o f which

we have hi storical knowledge S exual hypocrisy and pre
.
tence is largely a thing of the past M en and women are

.
meeting much more simply and directly as human beings

and companions who have di ff erences of opinion and a t
titudes needing understanding and adj ustment but wh o ,
are unconcerned with keeping up a fiction which shall

conform to an image each may h old of the other .
A complete reorganization o f our ideas of the distinc

tions and relations between the sexes is being forced upon
us and if the man still fails to understand woman and see
,
her as she really is— simply a human being full o f faults

and weaknesses , desires and longings not so different
, ,
—
from his own it will not be the fault of the women .
It will simply be the man s inability to understand human

’
p sychology or else his unwillingness to surrender his sub

j ectiv e image of woman and his use o f it as a symbol .
T is true that much that was beautiful and desirable in

I th e past is being destroyed along with the ugly and
outworn and that the present condition of chaos is in
,
no way satisfactor y ; but that is true o f all revolutions .
There is also inevitably much su ff ering and hardship

, , ,
particularl y accompanying the dis s olution o f individual

marriages ; but even here there is a complete change o f
attitude.
A particularly marked example of this change is found

in a ca se which embodies both the Old condition o f mar
r iage, with its in sin c erit y and silences and the modern ,
shifting and in stability with its many inevitable un f or

,
tun ate e ff ect s The family consisting of the parents and

.
,
two children is one o f the best type both husband and

, ,
236 B EA T R I C E M H I N KLE
.
and which would have been successful had there been no

other woman involved There was a truer relation b e
.
tween these pers ons during the painful months o f the

wife s e ff orts to hold her husband and keep their home
’
together than there had been for years previously ; and

although the husband did not recede from his p osition ,
the wife told me that she felt the experience had brought
her an increased consciousness and a new understanding
of life A fter the first months o f bewilderment and dis
.
traction the adj ustment began and she looked for and
,
eventually found a new interest for herself outside o f

home and motherhood .
There was no ugliness between these people for each ,
desired sim p ly to face the situation and when finall y the ,
wife had accepted the idea that separation was inevitable ,
to make the change with the least possible inj ury to all
concerned It is to be observed that the children were
.
not considered at all until the father s initial aim had been
’
achieved Then all possible e ff ort was made to protect

.
them from any unfortunate consequence s that might arise

from the separation of their parent s But the pursuit of
.
personal happiness which has so largely supplanted the

,
conception o f duty and responsibility to others as the

dominant force in the marriage relation is here revealed ,
in its baldest form Yet these are not careless superficial

.
,
people but persons of high standards and ideals

, .
This case which with sligh t variations is endlessly r e

,
eated shows also the e ff ect upon the man o f the changed
p ,
attitude toward marriage He no longer wants the

.
mother woman but seeks a real companionship in which

-
children are not the dominant factor He has not yet .
reached the further attainment of being able to bring

about the desired relation wit h in the marriage circle .
It is the se conflicting and varied aims and wishes that

MARR I AGE I N TH E NEW W ORLD 23 7
are demanding a new consciousness and a di fl er entiated

t ype of human being in order to meet the new is sue s and
needs involved in the marriage relation The disintegra
.
tion of the Old conditions will force the di ff erentiation r e

quired in the process of finding the new direction j ust as ,
it happened in the case o f the wife and mother cited above .
S he will never again be the unawakened ancestral type

,
o f W oman which she was before her world crashed about
her The tragedy is that such disruption is needed to

.
produce the e ff ect .
It is safe to say that very few of the great numbers of

disrupted marriages have any basi s that could not be
remedied if with an awakened consciousness husband and
, ,
wife made a j oint e ff ort to develop a true relationship .
What is needed is a deeper awareness o f both self and

the other person coupled with a mutual de sire to create
,
a r elationship and a willingness on the part o f each per

,
son to meet the difficulties directly and without evasion .
The marriage must seem of importance and worth saving ;

then there will be a willing e ff ort and sacrifice to make
of it something of value to each .
The eager espousal by women o f Opp ortunities for

labour in the various fields which have been occupied by
men is bringing them into relation with collective life It .
is giving them a clearer understanding of men and of

their lives through their contact with an aspect of man s ’
personality that is never seen under domestic and social

conditions The rending o f the illusion and glamour
.
surrounding man in the eyes o f women which the ,
freedom O f his life and the age -long tradition of superi

or ity have lent him is producing an Ob j ectivi ty of thought
,
and feeling that will inevitably bring about that larger ,

more impersonal attitude in which women have been so
lacking It is also making for h onesty in facing the facts
.
23 8 B EA T RI C E M H I N KLE
.
of life and of themselves about which women have been

quite blind .
The occupation out side the home which today carries

for A merican women almo st the same importance as mar
r i age once carried h a s not robbed them of that altruistic
Spirit and impul se for service which has been the dominant
spirit of women in the past and which formerly found
,
its onl y outlet in the interests of husband and children .
This is sh own by the eagerness with which all lines of

work concerned with community life and S ocIal service are
s ough t by w omen .The numerou s welfare organizations ,
such as public health nur sing maternity care and child

, ,
welfare work which are everywhere in evidence, are al

,
mo st entirely in the hands of professionally trained

women A t the same time there is the in sistent desire for
.
s elf— expression and for an occupation that Shall enlarge

th e scope of the personalit y S O that a feeling o f capacities
,
full y utilized shall be gained .
It is thi s broader field beckoning W omen away from the

narrow personal confines of famil y life which is giving
them the opportunity for growth as individual s and which ,
i s bringing a new attitude to the marriage relation It is .
producing that n ew tendency toward a frank discus sion of

the difli culties and Irr i tations ari sing and an endeavour
,
to clarify and alter the situation in stead of a quarrel

,
with its accompaniment of bitter feelings or an attempted ,
concealment of the hurt and di sappointment by resorting

to Silence as was the former procedure
, .
T cannot be hidden from any one that there is a

I quickened consciou sness in the world today a sense of ,
s omething inadequate and unsati s factory in the ideal s and
conceptions we have held and a groping after new value s

, .
Women are in the forefront of this awakening and this

2 40 B EA T R I C E M . H I N KLE
to W ork out a satisfactory relation is a failure of the indi
vidual within him self Th erefore instead of acting from .
,
impulse and per s onal gratification in regard to marriage ,
the neces sity exi sts for an honesty to w ard oneself for ,
s erious
—
reflection and thoughtful action intellect co
operating with feeling— in order to insure the ba sis for
the development of a true relationship .
Furthermore thi s ideal involves a far greater and more

,
impersonal a spect than that of the individual or of the

family ; it reaches out to embrace the whole problem of
general human relationship s For whether the individual .
con siders it or not the welfare of society depends upon

,
marriage and the family more than on anything el se .
Therefore a new ideal and a new reality attained b y in

,
div i duals in marriage is the first step toward the attai n

ment of new world relations .
To carry thi s ideal through and to create thereby a new

life of relationship s is the great s ocial task of women .
I am j u st in receipt of a letter from a gifted young

woman who is in the midst of this struggle first to attain , ,
and preserve her individual separatenes s and express her

s elf through her gift s and secondly to preserve and , ,
create something adequate out of a very difli cult marriage

Situation It illu strates the new condition very well and I
.
,
shall quote her words :
I r ea li ze th a t I ha v b e een l i vin g d r a ea m w i th H ar vy e . No w
my y
e es a r e o
p en e d an d I I ha e
s ee the si tu a ti o n a s it r ea lly i s . v
n ot f a c e d b v d
i t e f o r e, b ut ha e tr i e to pr et en tha t i t w as a ll r i ght d
a n d tha t thi n s w er e a s I w a n te
g th em to b e d
hi s h a s mea n t , O f . T
c o ur se, th at I h a e v b
een e m oti o n a ou n , a n d thus un a lly b
e to d bl
c o m e thr o ugh to a n y r ea l
huma n r e a ti on sh ip ar e l
h as een . H vy b
so j lea ou s o f m e i n e er w ay — v y
h e c a n t ea r tha t I shou
’
be b ld
l v y
succ essf u o r h a e a n thin g o f m y o w n , a n d h e c on sta n tl c r iti
'
y
v y
c i z es e er th in
g b
a o u t m e an d e er th i n
g th a t I do Ov y
u r who e . l
l d
ma r r i age r e ati on i s epen en t upo n his moo s d ’
B ut I ve go t to d .
MARR I AGE IN T HE N EW W ORLD
w or k i t th r ough . k
I n o w I mustn t r un a w a , a th o ugh som e
’
y l
ti mes I thi n k b
I c a n t ea r i t an y o n ger
’
l
I thin ther e must b e. k
so me n ew r e a ti on l b b d
et w een h us a n s a n d W i es th a t c a n b e a t v
ta i n ed . B ut to ga i n th at ther e must b e a r ea mo r a i t etw een l l yb
m
the , f o r th e n ew e o uti on o f v l o e a n d r ea i t l v l y .
These words illustrat e very clearly the deepened con

sci ousn ess o f the young Woman and the new attitude to ,
the situation .
I have said very little about the deep —lying psycho

logical problems involved in marriage for they are the ,
problems of the psychological development o f the indi

vidual .
When the personalities are emotionally immature ,
caught in the auto —erotic phase of development incapable ,
of love for an Obj ect but demanding that their emptiness

,
shall be filled by the other person there i s little possibilit y ,
of a sati sfactory marriage unless a definite e ff ort at recog

n iti on and overcoming of the personal inadequacy is made .
We have heard much of sex antagonism and the funda

mental enmity between the sexes but from a long exp er i ,
ence I can say that there is no sex antagoni sm between

persons who have freed themselve s from their infantile
desires and mechanisms and are emotionally mature The .
struggle in the soul of man between love and p ower is the

basis of s ex antagonism and is at the same time the condi ‘
tion which operates to destroy the whole fabric of human

relations .
The marriage ceremony marks the beginning of the

great opp ortunity for the development o f an emotional
maturity in which the sense of j ustice of con sideration of
’
, ,
understanding and of forbearance toward others shall be

,
born . These attributes represent the greatest need of

each individual today not only to produce a sati sfactory
,
marriage but also to bring about happier human relation

,
2 42 B EA T R I C E M H I N KLE
.
Ship s in general than tho se at present exi sting The i m .
portance of an inward harmony of personalities in mar

r i age is recognized as never before and this vision and
,
ideal toward which bot h men and women equally shall

strive is th e n ew demand of women in the marriage rela
tion These are the first fru i t s of woman s new found

.
’ -
individuali sm .
O ne o f the happiest marriages I have ever known is

conducted on a strictly modern ba sis externally and in ,
ter nally the living of the new ideals has produced a reality
not met in the finest marriages o f the past There are .
four children in the family one of them adopted There

,
.
is a beautiful home exceptionally well organized and

,
managed ; the domestic machinery runs without friction .
But the peace is not that of a sheltered life Besides ful .
filling so capably her duties to her hu sband and children ,
the wife is actively intere sted in politics and in civic and

educational reform During political campaign s she
.
makes most succe ssful state—wide speaking tours In all .
this she has her hu sband s sy mpat h y and often his coun
’
,
sel. N or is she less interested in h is activities There are .
tw o distinct individualitie s here with separate and mutual

,
interest s which they share in a rare companionship A .
visitor feels the warm vitality o f this home as soon as he

enters it and needless to say there is no marriage prob
, ,
lem The Wife s surplus energies are fully occupied in a

.
’
s ociall y valuable wa y S he is her husband s companion as ’

.
well as his wife and home—maker , and their contentment

is obvious to all This is by no means an isolated case
.
.
S cores O f such marriage s already exi st and many W omen ,
are making honest and intelligent e ff orts to increa se the

number Homes like this are the i slands that provide the
.
s oil from which the higher human society of the future
shall develop .
T H O M A S M A N
M a r ri a ge in T r a n si t i o n
An O pen L etter to Count Hermann K eyserling
D ear Count Keyserling
entice people to skate on thin ice is a not very h u

T
o
mane pa stime whi ch h as ch aracterized philo sopher s

ever Since the days of S ocrates I have often heard it said
.
that you were one of these and now I no longer doubt it

, ,
since you have intru sted us with subj ect s for literary treat
ment which are the most Slippery and thinnest of ice ln —

deed so slippery and treacherous that o n e has to evince
,
much courage and a great desire to wish to dance on it

at all or to find it , as N ietzsche said a paradi se
,
“ ”
For ,
.
this carnival on the precarious ice which you have i n sti

,
gated i t would be advi sable to have a number o f R ed

,
Cross stretcher bearers in readiness O ne can certainly

-
.
foresee that there will be accidents and no one can pre ,
dict t h at he will not be on e Of the victims himself N ev .
er th el ess it would never do to be merely a b y stander

,
.
O ne s only excuse would be cowardice O ne is married

’
.
and has not the right to say : This thing this extremely ,
problematic thing let the devil take it ! The summons

,
h as something about it that makes it a duty to ourselve s

and our age to comply Hi c Rh od os hic salta
.
, .
M arriage—a problem This too has become a prob

.
lem , as everything else has with time O ur gr an dp ar

, . .
2 44
MARR I AGE I N T RAN S ITI O N 2 45
ent s bless them would not have understood it They

, , .
are bad times in which the neces sary the original order no , ,
longer seems spiritually pos sible no longer suits the heart ,
of man The latter is a problematic enough creature as

.
it is ; bound to N ature , responsible to intellect plagued by ,
conscience driven to ideals and to absurdities with the

, ,
propen sity of invariably sawing O ff the branch on which

he is sitting Take for instance the case o f domestic
.
, ,
servants wh o form one o f the social pillars o f the r e

,
l ati onsh ip that is to say o f the original order , under

, ,
di scussion M arriage is certainly not a middle -class in

.
sti tuti on ; it is u sing the word in its widest sense the

, ,
citizens h ip o f life ( L eb ensb ii r ger li ch k eit ) ; but it has mid

dl e— class and social components which are at present de
ranged The domestic animal -like state of man and
.
-
maidservant , the status of retainer and menial , h as

hardly survived even in the country in its original p rimi
tive and epic sense while in the town s it has completely
,
disintegrated having been dragged into the spheres of

,
et h ical critici sm as applied to social conditions o f eman ci

p ati o n and di ssolution E very o n e realizes
. that the do
m estic servant class as a patriarchal survival has thanks
, , ,
to the generous stupidity of mankind been already for ,
a long time in an impossible condition , and no one can

predict the end For the epic conception o f the hou se
.
hold as K ant still had it comp osed o f the man wife

, , , ,
ch ildren and retainers is already disintegrated on this

, ,
account I maintain that marriage is not a middle —

. class
institution I wish to insure it against the most crushing
.
deprecation O f the time and also against the mistake ,
which so easily creeps in when the word is u sed in its

revolutionary sense : the confusion between actual citizen
ship and that primordial form which is timeless and age
less and is eternal with the human race I do n ot know

, .
2 46 TH O MA S MAN N
whether it is conservative of me to believe in it ; at any
rate I do believe In 1t For example I believe in the .
,
eternity in the pre and past bourgeois validity of

,
-
,
th e fundamental form s and spirits of art ; I believe in the

eternal epic spirit wh ich owing to the mistake already
,
noticed is often stigmatized today as middle-class It .
must be admitted that middle — class principles Often appear

fu sed with timeless primordial and immutable principles
, ,
to a degree that makes di ff erentiation difli cult For in .
stance the nineteenth century which was essentially the

, ,
century O f th e middle classes cheri shed the primeval epic ,
spirit the
,
“
eternal Homeric ”
; D ickens Balzac and Tol , ,
s toy ,
and Wagner in the theatre, wrought with it their
gigantic works Whatever still exi sts of the great epic
.
form though disintegrated and intellectualized belongs

, ,
to the nineteenth the century of the middle classes and

, ,
not to the twentieth The ancient patriarchal relation o f

.
“ ”
Woman as the housewife to man was al s o civil
,
“
And
, ,
.
”
he shall be thy lord and ma ster is not merely biblical ;
it is O ld Frankish as well What we are experiencing .
,
or rather have already outlived is the social undermining

, ,
of t h i s biblical and Civil condition by the emancipated ,
W oman who is free to ride bicycles drive cars and study , ,

.
S h e h as become intellectual and to a certain degree mas

culine The emancipation of woman which began in such
.
,
a childish and ridi culous way a bogey to all middle class ,

-
c on servatism whi ch in its turn had mistaken middle — class

,
tenets for eternal values h as yet produced many lasting ,
e ff ect s that are irredeemable and irreparable and have b e

come a part of progressive life .
Here it is all a question of a levelling up between the

s exe s which gives ri s e to the mo st curious phenomena in
,
the real inner hi story of mankind Al ready Wedekind .
( I think it w as in Fr anzi ska ) remarked icily : The di ff er

“
2 48 TH O MAS MAN N
human and this facilitates companionship We only
,
.
need to watch young people a little in order to ascertain

t h at there is not much left of chivalry courtes y drawing
, ,
room behaviour ; of ga lan ter i e and minaud er i e The .
young man is no longer martial sti ff backed with heels

,
-
,
clicked together , and heavily moustached He shaves .

,
making his handsome youth ( inasmuch as all young life

is beautiful ) resemble more the beauty o f a woman His .
carriage has in accordance with the fashion o f the day

, ,
a somewhat soft and feminine air and his movements are

,
“
a little like dancing He al s o wishes to appear beauti
.
”—
ful which is a human characteristic but not a truly ,
“ ”
manly one ; ambition is no longer set on being manly
or
“
womanly ”
. O r el se he knows that he is beautiful .
A nd thi s is in turn connected with another and more

general emancipatory movement which consists in y outh
,
demanding to be recognized not as a preliminary human

,
stage ,
subj ect to authority but as p o ssessing an inde
,
pendent significance ; it even exaggerates its own impor

tance until it conceitedly claims to be the actual and
cla ssic ideal of humanity ; in any case it has discovered
and represents its own specific beauty Beauty was alway s
.
,
and today is more consciously and emphatically the prop ,
er ty o f youth in general and not merely a feminine aspi

,
ration and idea Where this idea is at hand the complete

.
,
“ ”
and rough conception of manlines s is impos sible : there
is something feminine attached to the very essence Of
beauty—compare in this respect the artist who has never ,
yet been a complete and rough type Of man There is .
something androgynous , of which the R omanticists

dreamed in this human comrade ship between the two
,
sexes that I have spoken o f It is certainly n ot due to

.
mere chance that this p o ssibility of comrade ship Should

j ust coincide with the psychoanalytical discovery of the
MARR I AGE I N T RA NS ITI O N 2 49
original and natural bisexuality of the human race A nd .
—
if ou young people and we wish them pro sperity in
r
this ! —feel more clear and tranquil as regards sexual

matters than former generations were able to do it is ,
because this subj ect is now practically free from all its
former taboos A nd doubtle ss it is on this account that
.
homosexual phenomena are given a much more patient

consideration by modern youth—in fact S ince B l iIh er s ’
‘
time this is p sychologically connected with at least one

p hase o f the
“
youth movement ”
the W and er v ogel
, .
Without doubt h omosexuality the love relation b e

,
tween man and man sexual companionship is at present

, ,
considered impartially and is no longer looked upon

,
merely as a Clinical monstro sity by educated people It .
is not a mere coincidence that in France the country of ,
gallantry par excellen ce on e of the outstanding writers

,
has lately published a dialectic and apparently pas sionate

apology concerning this part o f man s a ff ective nature
’
,
after having for a considerable time withheld it from

pub lication In fact it is not seemly to decry and ridi
.
cule an a ff ective sphere which has produced the M edici

monuments and the statue o f David the V enetian son ,
nets and the P a th e ti gue The state inasmuch as it

’
.
,
blindly requires as many births as p ossible an increase ,
in the p opulation 42 tout pr ix may still adopt punitive

,
measures although antiquity teaches us that it might find

,
several reasons for interesting itself in this condition quite

apart from the fact that Hans B lii h er , who m I have al
ready referred to has made it seem very plau sible in his
,
book that the genesis of the state itself may have actually
arisen out o f this a ff ective sphere N or can homosexual
.
ity be deprecated from an ab stract aest h etic p oint of View ;

still less is condemnation possible from a generously hu
mane emancipatory anti -utilitarian and consequently by
, , , ,
25 0 TH O MAS MAN N
implication anh -natural standpoint while f o decry it as
, ,
unae sth etic is the least logical of all manifestations against

it T h e practical a spect o f the matter is di ff erent how
.
,
ever But does it not als o finally depend on the idea o f

.
its being unnatural ? A t any rate aesthetics is beyond ,
morals and ethical considerations and has nothing to do

with the law of life or with the conception o f utility or
fecundation It will prove difli cult to apply humanely
.
aesthetic arguments against the emancipation o f eroticism

from the service o f utility and propagation ; that is from ,
the intere sts N ature has in the matter, the love— illusion
which is only her s eductive trick a means O f realizing ,
her fertilizing schemes Where the idea o f beauty reigns

.
,
there the law of life forfeits its precedence The prin .
cip l e o f beauty and form does not spring from the sphere
of life it self ; its relation to life is that of a stern critic

and corrector It is indeed proudly melancholic and it
.
,
is closely and deeply allied with the idea of sterility and

death Platen says :
.
W er di e S c h o n h eit a n gesch aut mi t Augen ,

Ist dem T d
o e sc h o n a n h ei m e e en
g g
1
b .
A nd yet tho se two lines express the primordial foundation

of all aesthetici sm and consequently with good reason
,
homosexuality h as been termed erotic aesthetici sm .
But who will deny that from a mor al p oint o f view

this is its very condemnation ? It po sse sses no sanction
excepting that o f beauty,and that is virtually the sanction
of death It lacks the approval of N ature and life Thi s
. .
may be its pride but it is a heavy hearted pride and at

,
-
,
the same time it is als o its culpability and infamy ; and

thus it is branded as hopeless and irrational In ques .
tions of N ature and life the lack of approval amounts ,
1 “ He w ho s ees b ea uty w i th h i s y
e es is l dy b p
a r ea es ok en by d e a th .
”
25 2 TH O MAS MAN N
f ection : it is not creative ; it does not build families and
races .
Fi deli ty is the great superi ority attaching to natu

ral creative love which makes marriage possible The
, ,
.
laws of the Jews who were from the earliest times well
,
versed in these matters threatened intercourse with boys

,
with the death penalty A contemporary philosopher who

.
is a member o f this moral race Hermann Cohen finds , ,
t h at fidelity is the synthe si s o f E ros and E thos of s exual ,

“ ”
ity and morality For the sake of fidelity he says
.
, ,
“ ”
marriage must exi st ; real fidelity in love is only possible
in marriage A ctually marriage is only the working out
.
,
and creation o f the Inst i nct of fidelity ; it is at the same

time its begetter school nouri sh ment and guardian
, , ,
.
They are one, and it is quite impo ssible t o say which came
first marriage or fidelity ; and both seem equally absurd
,
when imagined in connection W ith homo sexuality All .
that marriage represents— namely durability the foun , ,
dation of life propagation responsibilit y— homosexual

, ,
ity does not ; and as a sterile libertinage it is the very op

p os i t e o f fidelity Here
. it becomes more apparent than
anywhere el se to what an extent virtue and morality are es
sen t al to life
i — nothing less than its categorical imperative ,
the law o f life it self—whereas all aestheticism i s pes si

m isti cally orgiastic in nature ; that is to say it i s a part ,
of death That the wh ole of art is inclined to lead to the

.
bottomless pit is only too certain But art in spite o f its

.
,
connection with death and beauty is still in a wonderful ,
way associated with life and finds in itself the antitoxin ;

,
friendliness and benevolence toward life make up the

artist s fundamental instinct He must possess to a cer
’
.
tain degree the sense o f citizenship in life and ethics in ,
spite of art and virtue having so little in common if he

,
is to be at all eligible for s ocial intercour se The artist s o .

,
it seems to me is in reality the ( ironical ! ) mediator b e
,
tween the realms of death and life Di d you j ust .
call me to order ? I Obey and become per sonal In his, .
early work which was also intended to furni sh his ma

,
ter ial life with a foundation , the youth had already dealt
with the questions of marriage and fatherhood in a very
pessimistic sense and spirit The metaphysical experience
.
on the strength o f which Thomas Buddenbrook deter

mined to face death had made marriage , inasmuch as it
“
was an attempt to continue one s life h onourably and his ’
”
“
tor ically in that of one s descendants seem a failure to

’
,
“
him ; and he denied that it could free him from the
”
dread of a final historic dissolution and decomp osi t ion .
I had hoped to continue living in my son ? In a still

more cowardly weak and vacillating personality ? What
, ,
a childi sh misleading stupidity ! What use is a son to

,
me ? I do not wish to have a son ! Where shall I be

when I am dead ? I shall be in all peop le wh o ever p r o
n oun ced the word I and in those wh o are saying it and ,
will say it in the future but especially in such as say it

,
with vigour and cheerfulness This alienation

.
from the idea o f the family and the perpetuation of the

race this flight into the metaphysical , is the Cxpression
,
of the same process o f decay in the di cipline o f life a r e s

,
turn to the orgiastic freedom o f individualism which I ,
described again in T od i n Venedig giving it the shape of ,
a homosexual love for a boy The ideas o f individualism .
and death were always closely connected ( my book B e ,
tr ach tungen ein es U np o li ti sch en which dealt with the war

, ,
was written entirely in the spirit of romantic individual

ism i e in the spirit o f death ; it was certainly a native
,
. .
,
sphere that I defended against social

“ ”
virtue which at ,
that time seemed to me an a ff ront and merely a literary

fashion ) ; it was a di ff erent matter with the idea of life
25 4 TH O MAS MAN N
and the duty of service of social intercourse and dignity ,
it self Thomas Buddenbrook and Asch enbach are dy ing

.
men deserter s from the discipline o f life and morality

, ,
Di ony sian s of death : I very soon recognized this as a part

of m y Own character I will not call it the artistic i m .
pul se in me for let me repeat again that an artist who

,
h as not a moral feeling for life is an impossibility ; it is

“
best expressed by the instinct to work ; it is thorough
”
ness it is sociableness , even when it produces a work
,
which is furthest remote from life I made clear at the .
very outset my conception of art and the mediatory func ,
tion I ascribed to it : We are the sorrow bearing children

-
of life but nevertheless we are her children and were in

,
tended to participate in moral goodness At twenty-four .
I could tell the story o f my flight as a broken man into , ,
metap h ysical individualism— I really had comprehended

it at that age But comprehension is something quite dif
.
f er ent from actual being ; it is at best only a part o f that .
G oethe rather knew about Werther than was actually a

part of him ; otherwise he could not have continued to
live and work And the young author o f Th omas Bud
.
denbrook married a f ew years after he had led his hero

to h is death .
Hegel said that the mo st mo ral approach to marriage

brough t first the determination to get married and then ,
a ffection following in its train so that finally both were ,
present I read this with pleasure for it was exactly so

.
,
with me and is doubtless very Often the case Auf Fr ei

’
, .
en — W hich doe s not mean being in love o r

2
e r sf u h
'
ss en
g e
engaged only desirous of and eligible for marriage—is

,
the popular expre ssion for it In an idyllic poem I have .
described personally the motives for marriage and the es

2 T her e seems to b e no Eng i sh l e qu i vl
a e nt f o r th i s Li ter a l ly
tr a n s
d l ld b d
.
l ate i t si g nifies to w a k o n th e f eet of a s ui to r o r w ou -b e r i eg r oo m .
T r a ns la tor s N ote
'
.
25 6 TH O MAS MAN N
The latter as I have already pointed out is intrinsically
, ,
“
di sloyal wh ereas marriage according to Cohen is th e
, , ,
grounding o f love in loyalt y ”

L ove that leads to mar
.
r iage is creative love T h e fact that makes marriage

.
worthy o f admiration and respect is that it converts a

dream and an in f atuati on such as love if it is founded
'
on loyalty into human enterprise and a marvellous pro

,
ducer of adventures in reality Hegel h as given us many

.
beautiful definitions of married love For instance he .

,
“ ”
terms it morality in a natural form ; he could have
termed it al so N ature in a moral form
“ ”
Is not its sig .
n i fican ce much above that given it by the Catholic Church ,
which does not regard it as a sacrament but merely as an ,
indulgence ; and is not marriage and its foundation of

love a sacramental mystery ? It is not without a purpo se
that the philo sopher i s desirous that it should maintain
its religious character—piety wh ich should form an in
,
tegr al part of it For it is not on ly a question of estab

.
l ishin g morality in the fle sh but al s o the rever se the es

, ,
tab lish men t o f spirit in the body ; and the latter comes
first because flesh and blood are a part of all sacramental
, ,
sacred and mystical beings and not spirit alone is holy

, ,
.
If there are sacraments above the sacraments of the

church then there may als o be institutions superior to
,
society ; and it is this reciprocal relationship between body

and spirit in marriage that reminds one so astonishingly
of the essence and relation of art ; it is thi s that gives it
its indelible sacramental character and its permanence as
an original institution in the procession of the ages .
I return to my principal theme It is the fa shion o f

.
the day to turn everything into a problem ; even eternal

values , and things that are hol y indi spensable and axio
, ,
matic are treated in thi s manner— they are made to appear

impossible irretrievably di sintegrated That time should
, .
make the eternal values of the human race the original ,
institutions problematical can only be a tr ansiti ona l phe

, ,
n omen on and does not imply ce ssation and di ssolution

, .
Like everything else marriage is today in a proces s o f

,
transition ; to think of its termination and end is absurd .
Are there more unhappy marriages at present than in

the days when the patriarchal and religious element was
stronger and a sense of holiness and consecration
,
brought pressure to bear up on it and restrained the con

“
sci ousn ess functioning and subj ective e ff ect o f
, ,
unhappi
ness and the idea o f divorce ? I t is p ossible even likely
”
, .
Freedom individuali sm an exaggerated sense o f personal

, ,
ity ( j ust where its j ustification proved most difli cult) ,

“
and the conception o f the right to happiness accorded
unhappiness and the desire to find a solution easier access
to con sciousne ss A mong other things marriage is a prob
.
,
lem o f authority and subordination O ne part— and this .
—
among other things explains its decay must be sub or di
“ ”
nate to the other ; and in the old the classical form of ,
marriage in accordance with its p atriarchal spirit it was

, ,
woman who was so This has now become imp o ssible on

.
,
account o f her emancipation individualization liberation, , ,

“ ”
and equality He shall be thy master is an entirely
.
obsolete attitude— and yet it was this very principle which ,

if it did not alone render marital community p o ssible at ,
least incomparably simplified it N ot unlike this is the .
situation with the patriarchal auth oritative relationship o f

-
parents to children , which likewise thanks to the emanci ,
p a ti o n o f the young can n o longer

,
be m a 1n ta1n e d I say .
nothing of the servant s who through decreased intimacy

, ,
and socialistic legalization of the relationship have b e ,
come highly independent domestic employees We see, .
“ ”
then marriage and the household menaced and ren
,
dered problematic b y the husband through licentiousness ,

25 8 TH O MAS MAN N
the right to happine ss and th e right to change if his , ,
felicity does not appear to him to be perfect ; by the wife ,
by the childr en and by the servants through emancipation

, ,
attained self—assurance liberty and personality Cultural , ,

.
di ff erentiation stands in connection with all this and comes

under this head It complicates and render s most difficult
.
the binding together of two human beings for life which—

in fact is p os sible only through patriarchal simplicity of
feeling of sen se and o f the nerves of both parties—and
, ,
makes indi spensable an entirely di ff erent degree of con

sideration indulgence tact diplomacy delicacy goodness
, , , , , ,
s elf-control and art from that which pertained to a

,
“
happ y marriage in more primitive times N aturally
”
.
,
irritability has inordinately increased Comte Talley .
rand s definition of marriage deux mauvaises humeur s

’
,
p en dant l e f our et d eux mauvaises od eur s p en da n t l a

“
n ui t ( two bad tempers during the da y and two bad
smells during the must have struck many an
intelligence Consequently : separate bedrooms ( while
.
only a short time ago the patriarchal custom Of sleeping

together appeared an attribute of a good and righteou s
marriage ) independence di ff erent interests and occupa
, ,
tions reduction o f po ssibilities of friction and irritation

,
.
A nd yet the vibration of infinite impatience in the voice s

,
of married people even in company— an expression which,
at every moment threatens shameful explosions of ac

cumulated quantities of nervous torture and desperate
irritation S trindbergian remembrances arise even from
.
a superficial ob servation of the maj ority of marriages

infernal recollections Truly on e may even without .
,
malice easily gather the impression that today ninety per

,
—
cent of all marriage are unhappy admitting the as
s
sumption that percentage calculations or even conj ectures ,
and e stimates are permitted and possible in connecti on

,
2 60 TH O MAS MAN N
Finer richer ln knowledge and more human ar e tho se
, ,
—
remarks of Hegel dominated by all that insight which
is appropriate before a theme so intimate so manifold and , ,
requiring so much piety Hegel is delicate enough not .
to look upon marriage so long as it endures as a legal

, ,
relationship The law he says should be intruded into

.
, ,
marriage for the first time when the famil y is about to be

di ssolved and its parties seek to become independent He .
similarly declines to inquire after any principal aim in the

relationship He sees in it a peculiar unit the purport o f
.
,
which is not impaired by the di sappearance of any on e or

another of its po ssible ends The marital relationship .
“
he means may fulfil it self in mutual love and help
,
.
It is also clear that thi s is always the ca se with aged mar

ried people and that if the relationship re sted alone upon
, ,
the intercourse between the sexes marriage as such would ,
automaticall y be e ff aced with the coming of sexual frigid

ity— exactly the contrary of which is true Thi s does not .
prevent sexual intercourse from having a place in its sacra

mental concept M arriage is love ; that is creative
“
.
”
,
sexual union is transmuted into a sacramental foundation

of an enduring partner ship of life and fortune which out
lives it The sexual intercour se of marriage thereby dif
.
“ ”
f er entiates itself from all others ; free since with it ,
there is a ssociated the thought the view the goal o f such , ,
creative love A ccording to Kant marriage would exi st

.
,
for no other purpose t h an to facilitate sexual intercourse ,
and there do exi st ca ses where it is so ; where the pa ssion

“ ”
for a woman who is not to be had otherwi se determines
, ,
the man who for h is own part would much prefer to

,
remain single to marry her S uch a marriage may still

,
.
go not too badly but that its moral ba sis is not of the best
,
appears from Hegel s saying that in true marriage the

’
resolve on matrimony is the primary element the indi ,

MARR I AGE I N T RANS ITI O N 26 1
vidual preference the secondary element O ne does not.
“ ”
marry a woman simply in order to pos ses s her The .
sexual community to which marriage leads and which lays

its sacramental basis is something essentially di ff erent and
more susceptible of spiritualization than that for the at
tain men t o f which o n e is not necessarily obliged to marry .
“ ”
It must be exactly this di fl er en ce which exalts that habit
which permits the persistence of the maj ority of marriages
until death against all individual inj uries and di sturbance s ,
even more than mere indolence endurance and resigna

, ,
tion and which confers upon marriage as an institution its

,
stability through the ages , its Character o f the E ternal
Human .
But the E ternal Human is capable of change I t must .
and will be ; it cannot perish but rather only proceed into

,
new forms of life like everything related to it That it

, .
might in time become impos sible is only an illusion ; it

bears within itself the p owers which teach it how to con
secrate itself anew after every desecration D oes any on e
.
seriou sly believe in the end o f the basic phenomenon of

ar t
,
which yet in the mo st persuasive manner appear s
theoretically to become impos sible ? The psychoanalytical
recognition of its bearer the artistic type begun by
, ,
N ietzsche ; the intellectualistic analysis of art—forms ; the

nihilistic ridiculing o f themselves which artists practi se
through their mo st gifted representatives so that only the
,
less gifted and mo st reactionary still appear to take art

seriously : does not all this unmistakably bespeak the end ?
And yet art is also a sacrament ; spiritual but based in the
,
carnal ; so it was and so it will remain S o also will .
marriage be and so will it know h ow to dr aw out of the

,
depths o f life a new consecration But the worst thing

.
and the most wrong everywhere is re storation The time .

,
which shudders before itself is full of impulses to r estor a

,
2 62
, T H O MA S M AN N
tion vacillation retrogres sion reinstatement o f the old

, , ,
and worth y restoration of destroyed holiness In vain !

,
.
There can be no going back E very e scape into hi storic

.
form s which have become empty of life is Ob scuranti sm ;

“ ”
all pious suppression of knowledge creates only lies and
disease It is a false piety turned toward death and
.
,
fundamentally faithless since it disbelieves in life and

,
in its inexhaustible powers o f consecration The way Of

.
the spirit must everywhere be travelled to the end so that ,
the spirit may exist again It cannot be a question of sup

.
pres sion and re storation but rather o f the embodiment

,
and the spiritualization of know ledge toward the growth

of new dignity, form and cul ture
, .
2 64 LEO N I E U N GERN -S T ERN B ERG
functions Woman as such had consequently no part in
.
the state ; only through marriage was she made a mem

ber of it and only through marriage did she win a social
,
s anction for her exi stence O nly thanks to marriage could

.
the life o f the species be seized by the machinery the ,
l aw and the administration of the state

, .
The extensive and revolution ary technical and economic

changes of the mo st modern epoch have however e ff ected , ,
a transformation in every respect The family is no .
longer a unit of production ; its connection with economic

life as far as that survives at all is extremely loose ; the
, ,
household has lost its ancient character as the sole possible

way o f life The present economic organization require s
.
the working power Of the individual not that of the fam ,
ily The e ff ect s o f this economic breaking—up have been

.
extended into all fields of human exi stence N or is a .
society organized according to groups or cla sses today any

more the presumption or the Ob j ect of the state but rather ,
the single individual The most adequate expre ssion o f

.
this fact is the democracy in which votes are counted and

n ot weighed S uch a state had to confer civic rights on
.
woman as an individual .
Through thes e changes which struck deep into the so

,
ci al structure marriage as an institution has lost its essen

,
tial supports For woman this was at first disadvanta

.
g e ou s since
,
for a considerable time th e change left her no
longer so important a factor in the activities of life as she

had once been But the evolution of economic in dep en
.
dence and its severance from family and home has had
the e ff ect of relieving woman The domestic administra .
tion which in an earlier epoch filled her existence has be

come for the most part superfluous Humanly woman .
,
has won the possibility o f a life of her own ; she can now
“ ”
lead an independent manless exi stence without p er ceiv
,
TH E MARR I AGE OF TH E F U T U RE 2 65
ing it to be devoid of meaning S he takes an immediate .
and active part in the once scarcely accessible world Of

human values which she might not have been able to
,
create herself but in the maintenance of which she shares

,
today That marriage in the last on e hundred and fift y

.
years has lost much of its value as an institution is evi

denced not in the fact that marriages are now more rarel y
concluded but rather in the fact that so many of them
,
su ff er divorce Divorce contradicts the fundamental con

.
cept of marriage which tends to exalt the purely in

,
stin ctive coming together of man and woman into a life

'
long p artnership The Catholic conception Of marriage

.
as a sacrament is indeed only a proj ection o f the idea

which inheres in marriage into the religious realm To .
day the number of divorces mounts in ab s olute and pro

rata numbers even among the Catholics ; in future it will
probably increase still more For newly arising forms of
.
partnership will remain outside the life of reproduction ,
and consequently will not stabilize marriage .
M arriage will a ssuredly take a relatively insignificant

place in the future structure of society ; extra-marital r ela v
tion sh ip s between man and woman will be more frequent ,
and the odium which hitherto attached to them will gradu

ally disappear Al so the state will assume the care of
.
,
children in an increasing measure P ublic institutions of .
every kind with trained teachers and nurses will more and
, ,
more relieve parents But the peculiar needs of human

.
childhood will bring it about that marriage between con

scienti ous human beings will endure , as an institution apar t
from all personal de sires on a ccount of the children

,
.
For the process of spiritual adapt ation a harmonious rela ,
tion with the individual child is obviou sly only possible

in the family Al l experiences with children as well as
.
,
the most recent p sychological discoveries , point to this ,

2 66 LE O N I E U N GERN -S T ERN B ERG
that there can be no substitutes for parents A nd the .
deeper the spiritual life o f the parents the less will they
,
want to be supplanted ; the more will their instinctive

love manifest itself in an active companionship o f feeling
and experience with their children which will be full o f
understanding : the more will their self-seeking and their
self-will efl ace themselves before the welfare o f the chil ~
dren ; yes even before their own wishes The longing f or

,
children is a ctive in the maj ority o f wo men and man

.
also desires a po sterity beyond himself But whosoever .
desires a child must desire marriage marriage as a life

,
long partnership as an institution beyond all personal

,
desires .
However , the institutional Chara cter o f marriage will

decidedly recede into the background as compared with
its character of personal relationship There is certainly
.
nothing more diffi cult than to build up a lifelong partner

s hip on a personal relationship For relationship s between
.
man and woman have at all times an erotic colouring ,
and the essence o f eroticism is mutability The direct de .
v el op ment, which is sufficiently well known to us from
love-relationships is invariably a rise and fall , a finding

,
oneself an d losing oneself When a lifelong partnership

.
of one man and one woman has nevertheless been

achieved, it was caused by the fact that the relationship
between man and woman may grow beyond the love -rela
ti on ship , may grasp the totality o f personality In his .
depths certainly, each one remains alone ; there can be no

,
complete merging no absolute finding of oneself in an

,
“ ”
other Therefore the relationship to the thou ( du) in
.
marriage is of a di ff erent quality from the relationship to

“ ”
any other kind of thou The mental and spiritual de
.
vel op ment o f the modern epoch h as brought with it an

enhanced di ff erentiation of man , a finer consciousness o f
2 68 LE ON I E U N GERN -S T ERN B ERG
ing within societ y ; and therefore he could prescribe his
conditions to her Ce rtainly virginal innocence po sses se s
.
a peculiar Charm Besides it is probable that the separa

.
,
tion of love and voluptuou snes s is more damaging to the

female than to the male personality ; it remain s entirely
de sirable that woman should not give herself lightly .
But to exalt virginity a s the prerequisite o f marriage is

in this day inappropriate since it betokens emp h asi s on
,
the sensual impulse o f the race ; and that is not con

ducive to succe ss in the marital relationship which should ,
be essentially human and personal The result is indeed

.
, ,
too Often that the maiden falls in love with the fir st ac

cep tab l e man who o ffers her marriage and that the man
,
woos the virgin but not the personality These are bad
,
.
foundation s for a durable human relation ship .
A nother typical conditio n is that the hu sband must

O ff er the wife a home of her own and mu st be in a po sition
to maintain it This requirement was necessary in the
.
time when one could live only in a hou sehold In the .
world of today which o ff ers so many po ssibilities of exist

,
ence in which the woman can support her self, and in which
even children are or need to be only in the rare st in stances
, ,
the gift of fate this requirement no longer Obtains It

,
.
hampers entrance into marriage from personal cho ice since ,
it force s marriage to take place according to wealth and in

come T O be sure many a marriage concluded in this way
.
,
on typical conditions turns out to be very happy But the .
deterioration of married life today in the maj ority of in

stances ari ses from the fact that a relationship which h a s
be come an es sentially personal connection is built up on a

—
t ypical foundation This rej ection of the typical does not
.
signify that the existing social foundation s for the con
cl usion of marriage will be completely altered A n es .
sen tia lly p ersonal relationshi p arises most naturally b e

TH E MARRI AGE OF TH E F U T URE 2 69
tween people o f the same position in life, the same

education the same attitude T o the Old class prej udice
, .
there now corresponds an active sen se O f the purely per

—
sonal, the human not cas ual opinions which experience
many transformations through the years but O f an ulti ,
mate spiritual quality essentially constant To become .
aware o f them to make them the guiding star when de

,
ciding matters o f life imp ortance is the art of life , .
M
ARR I AGE in the future can survive only if borne by a
personal relationship from human being to human
being This new marriage will be more difficult in many
.
respects than that of the past For it will have valid .
claims not only on man s passive ability to endure but’

,
also on the much rarer gift of living creative power A s .
long as marriage was a predetermined form strife , ,
whims brutality and self seeking could exert but little

, ,
-
power on it ; in future however it will be a proble m

, ,
daily renewed to be solved only by him who practises

,
rigid self di scipline

-
.
It lies in the nature of our ep och that Obj ective norms

sever themselves from life as such and only shape the ,
tools o f life All Obj ects o f use are more and more con
.
formed to certain types such as were inconceivable in the

time o f craftsmanship But purely human associations
.
are ever more shedding their old traditional forms .
S tandardized kitchen -ranges writing—desks and automo , ,
biles may exist but n o more standardized marriages

,
.
E xternal life runs its course more and more according to

particular schemes But Whatsoever does not serve for
.
the preservation of society as an economically established

entity whatsoever is merely personal is deprived Of its
, ,
obj ective p oints o f support and b ecomes founded on pure

spontaneity alert consciousness and courage In the do
, ,
.
270 LEO N I E U NGERN -S T ERN B ERG
main of marriage in the connection of human with h u
,
man we see going on a process similar to that once ex

,
er ien ced in religion in the relationship o f man to G od

p , .
Formerly religion was e ssentially magic and ritual ;

Chri stianity made it a purely spiritual a ff air It cor .
responds to the gro w ing humanization of our inner life

the counterpoint of external mechanization—that wh er
ever we are valued as personalities and not as working
force we must con sciously and firmly take hold of our
,
life Thi s signifies that the inherent life of institutions

.
is dying ; they are no longe r frames in which man may de

v el op but at the s ame time they ar e no longer a destiny
,
which breaks him .
This may be an advantage for the individual existence ;

“ ”
indeed a step forw ard The mi sunderstood woman is
,
.
today already an outlived phenomenon since her pa ssive ,
grief is contrary to the genius of modern life The idea .
of the unhapp y marriage is still current among us ; in f u

ture it will probably be a curiosity For two ways are .
open to the active per sonality ; either one dissolves the

marriage or o n e accepts it with its suff er mg ; and in this
,
case on e is not unhappy but rather a human being who

,
has mastered his de stiny .
Certainly no consciousness no will , no culture can de

,
liver us from the problems and the su ff ering o f marriage .
These are eternal for the relatio nship o f the sexes can
,
never be without problems and without pain M arriage .
is a form of life ; life signifies j oy and su ff ering and at ,
root one desires su ff ering not less than j oy But mar .
r i age is a form of life and can be shaped as such provided ,
those who enter into it know themselves and have the

desire for marriage and the courage to master it .
COU NT H E R M A NN K EY SE RL IN G
T he P rop er Choi c e of P a r tn er s
T H AT there are couples however rare which seem to

, ,
be purposely created for on e another , is an estab

lished fact The reason for this cannot however be de
.
, ,
ter min ed by intellect ual proce sses . Is it , in accordance

with P lato s teaching in the S ymp osium a dualism arising
’
,
out o f what was originally a single entity ? D oes some

god s eternal decree place in the world simultaneously
’
two new souls intended for on e another ? Is the doctrine

of reincarnation true ? O r is what seems to signify a wise
providence merely blind chance ? N 0 on e can answer this
question Each believes what he must The mystery is
. .
a problem beyond our intellectual powers Consequently, .
the question o f esoteric affi nities, in its deepest sense, must

remain outside the scope of this book .
But even a miracle can take place on our earth only

within the compass of its laws Just as Christ was able
.
to express his sublime wisdom about G od in parables that

dealt with everyday occurrences it can be shown that j ust
,
the most profound and ultimate recognition has ever y

where its corresponding part in the sphere of common
sense This means as far as marriage is concerned
.
, ,
though the particular character o f a given situation is not

deducible in each case that there are certain general laws
,
of u niversal validity, within which this particular aspect

manifests itself .
2 74 C O U N T H ERMA NN KEYSERL I N G
wo persons of di fl er ent sex attract on e another
T
.
D oes it follo w that they should marry ? I t is clear

from the introductory Chapter that this is not necessarily
the case Human beings are complex And the marriage
. .
bond is only one of many ; it is the most diffiCult to realize

sati sfactorily and common experience goes to prove
,
unfortunately— that infatuation i s the worst security for a

prosperous marriage This is n ot entirely due to physical
.
attraction failing to satisfy man s s oul completely, but

’
—
principally because people usually fall in love a care
ful distinction should be made between infatuation and
real love— with a type different from that which would
prove suitable for marriage E very on e is aware that
.
the natural dispo sition of any per son who is at all di ff er

en tiated, if h is heart is not fully pos sessed by one person ,
is to become attracted by the same type in ever new in

carnations Psychoanalysis teaches us that in the case of
.
man there a r e u sually two principal types : the mother

type ( the basis of this being either his Own mother , or
an imaginary adaptation , as he would des i re her to be )
“ ”
and the comrade the natural prototype for the latter
,
being a sister His two types correspond t o the general

.
maternal and comradely qualities that enter into every

woman s nature and the latter aspect Often finds its em
’
,
bodiment in the courtesan G enerally speaking only the

.
,
mother type is suitable for marriage For it has its roots .
in the primordial nature of man ; it typifies responsibility

and is therefore serious in char acter In the comrade type ,
.
man seeks adventure stimulation an d sport E xactly the

, ,
.
same statements , mutatis mutandis apply to the di ff eren

,
tiated woman By their very nature these two types are

.
irreconcilable Consequently it is a mistake even to try

.
to bring them into agreement E ach must decide for

.
himself in which way and t o what extent he intends to

276 C OU N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
are stormy in character and as often a s not culminate in
, ,
divorce And as the marriage relation i s essentially in

.
di ssoluble this inflict s serious inj ur y and produces a de

,
b il itatin g e ff e ct if the people in question are not at all

,
superficial character s .
O N SE Q U E N T L Y love matches In the sen se of marria es

C f
,
between friend s definitely preclude the con cepf oh

,
‘
o f a proper choice o f partners If thi s statement appears

.
di sputable it is due to the pre sumption that every one

,
can find complete sati sfaction in only on e person of the

opposite sex Thi s prej udice has now surely been out
.
lived At a high level of individual development man

.
,
kind finds again its absolute ideal in conventional mar

r iage ( S ta n d es eh e ) N ot in the historical and narro w
.
s en s e of th e expre ssion , u sually attached to the term con
v en ti on ; it has come to convey thi s meaning in G erman y .
But in the real sense : that marriage is e ssentially a special

order j ust as celibacy is in all things relating to monastic
,
a ff airs and consequently can be gauged only by its etho s

,
.
In thi s ca se the ethos involves the maintenance o f a

,
“ ”
special order both in the natural and cultural spheres .
N either does it oppo se the will of the individual where ,
thi s is self —consciou s because to every man is allotted a

,
definite po sition in the cosmic order which he mu st fill ,
properly if he 13 to realize h is personal purpose in life .
But to return to particulars G enerally speaking whom

.
,
should people marry ? This question cannot be answered

with scientific preci sion because ultimately every vital
,
phenomenon is unique in character so much so that when ,
a generalization is applied to any special case it receive s ,
an interpretation reflecting the special character of the case .
Knowledge of general principles will no more enable one

to choose the right partner than mere knowledge o f
TH E PROPER C H OIC E OF PAR T N ERS 2 77
harmony and counterpoint make s a man into a com p oser .
M oreover, on account of the very complex nature of the

question it is quite impo ssible to formulate any rules hav
,
ing general validity From a theoretical standpoint the

.
exception may still prove the rule but in actual practice ,
it is Often j ust the exception that counts For example if .

,
it is generally true that an hyste r ical person is unfit for

Im ar r i age it does , however
,
occasionally happen that this
,
di sease is actually cured by it Again it is as serted wit h

.
,
j u stice that marriage between near relatives is generally

detrimental ; but at times it lead s to the very best re sults .
This explains why at one time any preternatural qualities

in a man were attributed to his ince stuous o r igin I can .
recommend a brochure ent i tled W h om S h ould O ne

M arr y ? ( W en s oll man h eir a ten ? Frankfurt a M ; H . . .
B ech ol d ) ; it contains in a convenient and handy form the

mo st trustworthy information on th is sub j ect the result ,
o f experience and research mainly from a m edical and

,
scientific point Of view A s I cannot go further into thi s

.
particular question here , I refer the reader to the above

mentioned work, although he will not find much of
practical value in it I n fact generalities are only useful
.
,
to the individual if they can be as in the case of an ,
algebraical formula or a paragraph of the l aw a frame ,
enabling him to fit in his personal factors and thus to ,
find for them a definite value That i s Wh y if the solu .

,
tion is to prove satisfactory the problem of how to Choo se

,
one s partner properly calls for a di ff erent formula from

’
that one employed by all the specialists ; it mu st be con

s i der e d purely from the standpoint of its significance .
O nly in this way can the problem be formulated without

contradictions arising As soon as it treats of particulars
.
,
it breaks up into tw o separate problems which can only ,
partly be taken together : first the Choice of partners in ,

2 78 C OU N T H ERMAN N KEYS ERL I N G
re spect of the partners them selves and secondly the , ,
s ame as regard s posterit y It is evident that t h ese two .
problems are di stinct As far as the child is concerned .

,
the parents are onl y intermediaries , handing down to it

the racial inheritance ; from the individuals as such it
receives nothing Further any one who has children .
,
renounces by this every claim to his own pers onal in

dependence M oreover , if the child is the central prob
.
1
lem the question of personal happiness becomes secon

,
dary For parental happiness is quite di ff erent from con

.
j ugal felicity ; in the former case di ff erent impersonal , ,
impul ses find their fulfilment L astly the personal i n .

,
harmony o f the parent s may evoke in the children that

state of internal tension which i s the nece ssary p hysi ol og
’
ical agent for all productivity That is why the maj or .
ity of great men are the O ff spring O f unhappy marriages ,
or at least o f inharmonious ones E ven gifted youths .
often do not turn out well if their early surroundings have

been too happy Freedom from difficulties to meet and
.
overcome does not tend to awaken personal a spirations .
But there i s as has already been pointed out o n e stand

, ,
point from which the problem o f the proper choice of

partners can be treated as a whole : that which sees in mar
r i age an independent unit composed o f two part s In ,
.
t h i s respect it greatly resembles a child which is also the ,
product of a dual association .
to Chri stian teaching married people are

C C O R D IN G
a no longer separate but of one flesh Psychic unity is
.
,
,
.
experienced per sonally by all true lover s I need not here .
di scu ss the reasons for marriage being an independent

1 k d d
S ee my U n s ter b l i ch ei t, T h i r E i ti o n, D a r msta t, 1 92 0, es ec i a th e d p lly
p
c h a ter M en s ch und M en s c hh ei t
d l p k
.
eta i s , s ee th e c h a ter P sy ch o a na ly s e und S elb s tv er v oll ommn ung

2
For
i n my Wi e er g eb ur t d .
2 80 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I NG
W el tansch auung un d L ebensgestaltung in Wi eder gebur t ,
each individual i s merely an ab straction of the co smos of

h umanity which is a real entity
,
Its actual existence is .
clearly establi shed b y the fact t h at a faulty social in stinct

leads to di sease Th i s is why mo st good marriages rest
.
on a complementary basi s A t the lowest stage the sexual .

,
complement is sufli cien t in it self for where th e individual ,
is undeveloped the racial instinct plays the principal part .
At all stages the inherent complementary requirements

,
of one s own generic type are the determining factor s

’
.
Thi s matter however is gone into more fully b y Jung

, ,
and Kret schmer In ca se s of extreme individuality the

.
,
s trictly per s onal a spect of one s complementary craving s

’
is de ci sive It finds its relea se according to C G Jung s

.
,
. .
’
“ — ”
di scovery in the s oul image ( S eel en bi l d ) which is 4
,
stored in every man s consciousne ss and functions as a com

’
plement to h is conscious ego Th is image does not merely .
confine it self to general attributes but even delineates sex ,

.
I f on e per s on arou ses a feeling of love in a nother the ,
former becomes wherever motives of the mind and soul

,
come into play the vi sible embodiment of what h as been

,
inw ardly de sired and con sequently preconceived much as ,
another s words Often expre ss our meaning where we were

’
incapable of expressing it our selves Thi s is the origin of .
tho se i n t1mati on s of recollection which make people feel

as if they had always known each ot h er and which all ,
true lovers experience O ne see s in the per son he loves

.
,
a s in a mirror
“ —
the reflection of h is own soul image ”
,
( S eel en bi ld ) Consequently it is little wonder t h at one

.
recognizes at fi r st sight a per son who e ssentially belongs

to one ; in fact it is surpri sing t h at the coup d e f oudr e i s
not the normal commencement of love In thi s we have .
4 p
C o m a r e Jung s P s y ch o log i s ch en T yp en,
’
Z
u r i c h , R a s ch er a n d C o m
p y
an l
( Eng i sh tr a n s a ti o n u i sh e l p bl d by H
a r c o u r t, r ac e a nd C om an ) B p y .
TH E PRO PER C H OIC E OF PAR T NERS 28 1
the exp lanation of absolutely all the precept s laid down

for happy marriage s as well as of the contradictions in
,
volved in the well attested rules Thus when it is held

-
.
, ,
on the on e hand that like a ssociates with like and on the

, ,
other hand that opposites attract on e another both state

, ,
ments are more or less true according to the qualities r e ,
quired to complement one s nature N atures whose devel ’

.
o ment has been o n e-sided are generally attracted by their

p
opposites as only in this way can they Overcome their limi
,
tati on s whereas more balanced natures find their mo st

,
suitable complements in those who are essentially like

them and show only a slight deviation from them in a
,
few particulars Details of special research in this matter

.
will be found in the Chapters that follow But from what .
has already been stated one thing is evident which is at , ,
the same time the best answer to the question under con
“
s ideration : that to ask oneself How can I in a practical ,
,
manner recognize the person wh o best suits me for mar

,
”
r iage ? i s t o
pu t th e questi on th e w r ong w ay There is no .
help for the blind ; that is to say for those lacking instinct ,
.
But whoever is conscious of his own soul will readily rec

ogn iz e the per s on who is best suited to him j u st as a man ,
with eyes sees the landscape in front o f him ; for the con
tact between souls is j ust as direct as that experienced in
the material world O ne can only advi se each per son to
.
open h is eyes to put a side prej udices and self illu sions
,
-
,
to be lo y al to his experience and to j udge it aright ; then

he cannot go wrong .
This directne ss of contact between souls also explains

the significance o f bodily impulse s or motives whi ch ,
should be taken into account much more seriously than is

usually the ca se at pre sent The cu stomary distinction b e .
t w een body and soul is erroneou s I have pointed out in .
S ch Opf er isch e E r k enntnis and Wi ed er gebur t and shall

’
,
not here go into further detail s on this point that life is ,
“ ”
essentially significant and consequently an expression of
,
the spirit o n all its planes

,
A t th e same time every mani
.
,
f estati on o f life is a phenomenon and thus mater ial by ,
nature Th i s is as true of th e letters of the alphabet which

.
,
embody thoughts as of institutions laws concepts etc

, , , ,
.
,
which are the materializations of man s thought G onse

’
.
quently a distinction should not be made between body

,
and soul but between s ignificance and expression The

,
.
customary distinction would be correct if the spiritual

could be identified with the mental or conscious But this .
i s impossible A picture or a sonata is not any less spirit

.
ual t h an a philo s ophical system and yet they are certainly ,
non — intellectual in character O n the other hand a phys .

,
ical organ is j u st as significant in its functions as these

and i s only intelligible from its meaning and purpose A s .
regards consciousness we know now that most mental

,
proce sses are unconscious Finally, we are aware that all .
expressions of life are essentially symbolic ; and in this

connection mental concepts and physical organs are on the
same plane Under these conditions all material phe
.
,
n omen a naturally p ossess intellectual and spiritual sign ifi

5
cance Thus beauty signifies the perfection of the race
.
,
.
E ven the smallest detail s have a spiritual significance .
For this deep -seated reason the possibility or impossibility

o f receiving sexual gratification from a certain person or ,
the fact that being attracted or repelled Often depends on

small detail s should be taken seriously into account For
, .
these are always s ymptoms and symbols whether we kno w ,
h o w to appreciate them or not This is why in epochs .

,
when men were led by their instincts marriages which ,
were apparently based only on physical attraction Often

yielded the best moral and spiritual results both as regards ,
5
C om p a r e th e ch a pt
er on A d en i n my T r a v el D i a ry .
2 84 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I NG
o ff spring of another scholar or lawyer The polarity o f .
the sexes even implies that equality of exp erience does not
“
mean equality of significance If in hi stor y conventional .
”
marriage ( S tand eseh e ) seems to contradict t h is it is due ,
to the mi sconception o f thinking of profes sional castes ,
instead o f the re ality o f living t ypes ; for the born ruler

is never a specialist but a man of many sided attainment
,
-
.
Consequently the same course of destiny es sentially means

polar correspondence This is clearly seen in such f r e
.
“ ”
quent ca ses as when women dedicate their lives to save
men wh o from their own personal point o f view are lost
,
.
The same applies when a famous man has the right in

s tin ct to choose a woman who by nature has not h ing in
common with his work Woman de sires to fulfil her own

.
personal mission ; in the former case as saviour in the lat ,
ter as helpmate Destiny can only be play ed out if each

.
p os sesses a separate r Ole A s regards posterity marriage is

.
,
the natural archetype Of this a ssociation Father and .
mother do not Operate in the same way A nd even toda y .

,
th e instinctive woman even if she only s lightly resembles

,
the mother type sees in her husband al s o the father of

,
her Ch il dren E ven today every real man is aware in the

.
,
dark rece sses of h is consciou sness of a de sire to fulfil h is

,
natural destiny as well as to conform to the spiritual laws

o f ethics and religion .
T is not of much use to refer to instinct for those people

I who do not po ssess it Consequently it is nece ssary to
.
formulate the conditions o n more strictly logical grounds .
At all times there have been strict regulations governing

the contraction of marriage ranging from the marriage ,
able clas ses o f the Australian aborigines right up to the

order of rank of the nobility These regulations have al .
ways proved indispensable as it is only the exceptional

,
TH E PROPER C H OI C E OF PAR T N ERS 2 85
man wh o takes the right course without compulsion .
Here j ust as with duty it is a que stion of formulating

, ,
what should in reality be self-evident to each man s con ’
7
s cience What is the ultimate common aim of all such
regulations ? The perpetuation of a special s tanding or
rank in the natural and cultural order A nd if the gen .
eral conception is applied to the individual we find that ,
the maintenance of rank denotes fundamentally the main

ten an ce o f a n i v eau or standard ; whether or not it is
actually achieved in practice is another matter A nd this .
brings us from the general conception o f the directrix to

a qualifying s tatement Its relation to the standard is this :
.
E ach soul is an association o f qualities and functions whose

focus can be variou sly situated as higher or lower for , ,
example A ccording to its p osition the person s character

.
’
is either superficial or deep commanding or subaltern ,

.
The commanding character is not hampered by the condi

tions which dominate the subaltern This focus is in real .
ity the very centre of personality A ccording to the po si .

8
tion o f the focus— that is according to its plane— all quali

,
ties bear another significance O n the other hand its con .

,
diti on al ity is purely spiritual and cannot be deduced from

N ature In this respect the plane represents the empirical
.
foundation to which all values are referred It follow s .
that t o define the directrix of life is not sufli cient to deter

mine its significance ; it is of primary importance to know
o n which plane it lies ; f o r example a young waiter who ,
is predestined to become a head waiter may have the horo -
s cope O f a N apoleon It is the n iv eau which enables us to

.
a scertain the ultimate significance of any data The pur .
p ose and validity o f the marriage laws now become evi

7 C om p h fi l
are t e na s ec ti o n of th e c h a p ter o n A me r i c a i n my T r a v el
Dia r y
v d l t xh v ly pt il d
.
8I ha e ea e a u st i e w i th th i s ques ti o n i n th e ch a er e nt t e
W eltub er l eg en h ei t i n my S ch b pf er is ch e Er k en ntn s
' '
i
.
.
2 86 C OU N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
dent : O nly people of the same standing can be comple
mentary to one another in the true sense If they belong .
to di ff erent planes they do not properly complement one

another as the very e ssence of harmony is lacking ; sec
,
on dly in accordance with th e laws o f gravity the lower

, ,
tends to pull down the higher If we recall the analogy .
between the unity o f the single soul and that o f the mar
r iage relation we shall realize that it is impossible to
,
harmonize a member o f a lower and on e o f a higher

plane on the principle o f equal rights ; either the one or
other will have the upper hand C onsequently i t is an .
ess en ti a l c on di ti on f or th e p r op er ch oi ce 0f p ar tn er s th at
b o th sh ould b e on th e same p lan e of existence O n the .
other hand to be on the same plane really amounts to

equality of birth in the proper sense of the term Con
,
.
sequently the claim for equality o f birth is not only ab

,
s olutely j ustified but imperative S ince each part of a

.
man receives its significance from the plane of his com

p l ete being it is ,
irrational to marry a person ,
even though
in some particulars one is in complete uni s on with him, if,
taken as a whole he is beneath one This can never prove
,
.
satisfactory either for the parents or their children S oul .
reacts on soul and gene on gene ( hereditary factor ) , so

,
that if marriage takes place between people wh o are not

o f the same status by birth it leads with but few exce
, p
tions to personal deterioration and proves a cultural retro
g r essi o n for the human race A nd if we now pause to
.
consider the maj ority of modern marriages , we shall im

mediately comprehend why most of them are so wretch
edly bad .The decisive factor the question o f the plane
, ,
is scarcely ever taken into consideration I n this manner .
no tradition o f cultural ascent can ever take root This is .
due to the reaction against antiquated conceptions regard

ing equality of birth E quality of birth S imply means
.
up to his But woman as a born mother is both able
.
, ,
and specially fitted to raise the man ; in this connection

the dynamic and progressive principle lies with her .
Whereas all highly bred male lines become extinct a

-
,
careful fate has ordained that the female ones most f r e

quently survive Thi s forces well —born women to marry
.
below their station and thus allows a frequent admixture

of young blood ; thus at length by intermarriage the , ,
general standard is rai sed Thus the eternal feminine

.
again and again exalts Sinking humanity Here again .
we realize how wi se our forefather s were in permitting

their daughter s to marry below their station but not their ,
sons T h e male is unable to raise his mate When all

. .
has been said N ietzsche struck the keynote with his

,
words : Y ou are not merely to propagate but to exalt the

“
,
”
species . Therefore equality of birth in its true sense
is an imperative condition for prosperous marriage The .
person who marries below h is standard inasmuch as he ,
is worth anything at all should be j udged more har shly

,
than if he had spent his whole life on lustful passion .
And each person should attempt if possible to marry , ,
above his station in one sense or another In fact every

,
.
,
man s natural desire carries him in that direction That

’
.
is why every man looks up to the eternal feminine with

out p ossibility o f di sappointment ; that is why woman de
sires to reverence her lover Thi s idealization signifies
.
an ardently desired reality A s new things can only be

.
created by the intercourse of oppo site p oles the higher ,
culture o f s oul as well as o f blood depends on marriage

making thi s its direct aim .
All depends on the standard and not on the feelings .
Feelings alone can never prove that a thing is right , f or

they are only the re sult of sati sfaction or dissatisfa ction ,
quite irrespective o f the contributing causes or motives .

TH E PROPER C H OIC E OF PAR T NER S 2 89
In order to be j ustified feeling must be the expression

,
or reflection o f —
correct j udgment this is often the case
with women ( consequently their feelings rarel y urge them
to make ra sh deci sions ) rarely with man Here we are
, .
dealing again with the problem o f lo st instinct M any .
“ ”
people suppose that conventional marriage ( S tan des eh e )
was conventional from the outset This is not at all the .
case In times of harmony between vitality and culture

.
,
men fell in love only with w omen of the right status .
This is h ow it should be seeing that the plane of being

,
determines the ultimate quality o f man R eal agreement .
can never be reached between persons of unequal birth .
Convention was only a precautionary measure against in

dividual backsliding It is quite impossible at the mod
.
ern stage of consciou sne ss to reattain primitive certainty of

instinct But education may to use a good expression of
.
,
Harnack s r e—establish candour A ctually standard r e

’
, .
,
acts directly on standard This most essential of all reali

.
ties can be accurately apprehended j ust like any other ,

.
But such as cannot see for themselves must be taught to

acquire vision I have indicated the manner in which this
.
can be accompli shed in so far as it can be done in a gen

,
eral way in two chapters o f Wi eder gebur t : G r enz en d er

,
M ensch enkenntni s and D er n atii r li ch e Wir kungskr eis .
The intuition o f the teacher wh o has seen the truth for

,
himself will find out the appropriate means of in ter pr e

,
tati on in each particular case I f only one generation

.
would meditate on the insight o f its ance stors and thus ,
fas hion its soul anew then the next generation would
, ,
thanks to the influence of nur sery training on the uncon

scious mind pos se ss this insight as a matter of course
, ,
but on a higher plane than in times past At any rate .
this would apply to the women o f the next generation ,
and that would prove sufficient as it is they who choose ,

their partners in marriage Then youths and young girls .
would n o longer—what on e must strictly advise them to

do at present— need to school themselves in order n ot
to marry the wrong per s on Today most people marry .
inadvertently When the maj ority of marriages no .
longer prove happy or efficacious it indicates an incorrect ,
choice o f partners Here we have the s olution o f the .
problem of proper choice o f partners from the p oint of ,
view o f the partners themselves Al l details and p ar ticu .
lars can be Obtained from special medical psychological , ,
sociological and stati stical works The ultimate sign ifi

,
.
9
cance of all that the reader will find in these books has
been anticipated by this es say I n fact , the special state .
ments of science can be correctly interpreted only when

taken in this light S O we must finally conclude that .
marriage is only complete when it is the synthesis o f

biological eugenic sociological ethical and religious
, , , ,
ideals O n the other hand this synthesis which appears

.
, ,
so difli cult in theory is quite easily attained in practice ,

.
A n individual when analyzed is extremely complex but ,
he lives as a simple natural unit The same applies both .
to the marriage relation and to the first step toward its

—
realization the proper Choice of partners O ne need .
on ly b e qui te c er tai n of w h a t i s actua l l r i h t th e r est

y g ;
w i ll th en c ome of i ts elf as un consci ous r ea liza ti on f ol ,
l ows automati ca lly on consci ous p er cep ti on O ne even .

10
should not ponder these matters too much .
O ne thing more A s man is essentially a dynamic .

,
a spiring evolutionary being marriage can bring f ulfil

, ,
9 v l k Elli C h i f P t
S ee Ha e oc l th w k f F ! d s 8
’
o ce o a r n er s , a so e or s o ore an
M g a H i h f ld d h i ll g w h i h d l w i h
n us r sc e i i w i d st
an s co ea u es , c ea t s ex n ts e
P b b ly th m
s en s e. romp h iv w k
a th bj t i Hi h
e o st c o re en s e or on e su ec s r sc
f ld hl ht k d J li P ttm V V y v l
’ ’
e G s S es c
g ec s gun e, tu tt a r t, u us u a nn s er a er a u
b l i G S h ib M d i l Ex mi i
.
a e s c B fre M i g w hi h
er s
’ “
e ca a n at o n e or e arr a e,
”
c
pp d i T h W ld H lth A g
.
’
a ea r e n 9 5 e or s ea u u st, 1 2
d i S gg ti
, .
B d A t gg ti
10 ’
S ee au ou n s u es on an u os u es on .
2 92 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEY S ERL I N G
kno w today that the natural element s of life are im
mutable and that acquired Ch aracters are tran smitted so
,
uncertainly if at all t h at from a practical standpoint they

, ,
cannot be taken into consideratio n Furt h er since th e .

,
discoveries of M endel and his successor s we know that ,
the hereditar y factors pos sess specific characteristics which ,
on interbreeding form a new mo saic—like pattern but

, ,
never mingle O n the other hand we are al s o aware that

.
,
the intellectual and spiritual Character of a man that ,
is to say the meaning that expresses itself by means of

,
the alp h abet of hereditary unit s depends ina smuch as it , ,
i s not inborn on the influences dominant during earlie st

,
childhood Con sequently nur sery training plays a more

.
,
prominent part than h as ever been su spected in times

pa st The seeds of what a man develops into apart from
.
,
h i s inborn character are sown in him before h is seventh

,
year Thu s with man blood is not the ultimate p r op a

.
, ,
gativ e agent as In the case of animal s but the synthe si s

, ,
of blood and tradition If thi s wer e not the ca se no.

,
civilization would ever have fallen since biologically ,
the ultimate material sub stance of man has scarcely

changed if at all since the days of A dam I f thi s were
, ,
.
not so the fellahs would still be Pharaohs the Arabians

, ,
S aracens and the G ermans of today would be the same

,
a s in the glory o f our M iddle Ages In this connection .
I need make no further mention of the significance of

tradition The state of a ff airs is only too evident Fam
. .
ily types are no less dependent on spiritual attributes

than on hereditary peculiaritie s E very man h as to build.
12
up his independent intellectual and spiritual life at first

on the ba sis of what he has acquired and been taught j ust ,
a s from a physiological standpoint he has to start out
12 d xp d d p
T h i s i e a i s e a n e i n th e Jey p ur ch a ter o f my T r a v el D i a r y a nd
p
th e c h a ter D er S i n n d es oku men i s ch en Z us ta n ds i n D i e n eu ents tehend e
Welt .
T HE PROPER C H OIC E OF PAR T N ERS 2 93
from his physical inheritance Consequently it should be .

,
stated all the more strictly and clearly which precepts

relating to marriage are known according to modern sci ,
ence to correspond with the laws of heredity

,
What the children of certain parent s will be like can

not be safely predicted as the parents alone do not tran s
,
mit the characters which depend on the transmi ssible

,
heritage o f all the p ossible ancestors so that certain char ,
a cter s appear while others are excluded A n ancestor .
who lived several centuries ago may suddenly appear to

have come to life again But o n the other hand it is .
,
certain that only what is actually extant continues to live

on ,
and that the elements of the natural characters are
never created anew ; what appears to b e the creation o f a
new type is due to a new combination of the Ol d element s .
Very often degeneracy may be predicted and this usually ,
can be determined with a high degree of probability in ,
spite o f all complications from a knowledge of the fam ,
ily tree Usually one can foresee whether the children

.
are likely t o turn out satisfactorily or not K nowledge .
entails responsibility In the light o f modern knowledge

.
it should be deemed plainly criminal to bring into the

world children who in all probability are bound to be
degenerate It would be irrational to forbid marriages
.
which would prove happy for the partners merely on the

probability o f p oor issue for the present counts as much
,
as the future O n the other hand where there is a dan

.
,
ger o f degeneracy birth control should be made obliga

,
tory A nd in cases such that the nece ssity for birth con
.
trol is not likely to be respected the parent s should be ,
sterilized by the state O ne may find this cruel But

.
13
.
as long as war is still tolerated this infringement o f indi ,
13 l
T h i s h a s a r ea dy b
een f r equen tl er f o r me yp
i n A mer i c a d
S ee T h e .
“
l v d v p ”
l i
L egi s ati e a n d A mi ni st r a ti e A s ec t s o f S ter i i z a t on , Eug en c s Rec o r i d
ll
O fli ce B u eti n , Vo l X , 1 91 4 ; a ls o G u nth er s K le n e Ra ssen kun d e,
.
’
i
1 93 p . .
vidual rights for the good of the maj orit y cannot be Ob
j e cte d to A nd toda y as
. far as I can se e thi s form of
, ,
s ocial —surgical interference Cannot be avoided if the race ,
i s to be improved As for s ome centurie s ever y thing h as

.
been done on humanitarian grounds to preserve inferior

stock so an anti humanitarian period in t h is sen s e— such
,
-
as is already at hand a period o f fearless thought and ,
radical practice— is the only means of salvation C on se .
quently the proof o f ancestry should be generall y intro

,
duced and as strictly kept as in noble families but with ,
a new significance In the fir st place for the sake o f

.
,
health the breeding o f bad stock mu st be prevented until

, ,
that extant today becomes extinct S econdl y in order .

,
to mainta i n a high standard not alone for one special class ,
but to elevate the standard of all clas ses wit h out excep
tion there should be only pure stock bred regardle ss of
, ,
the class in which it is found Thi s appears to be quite .
attainable as wild animals are practicall y all of pure

,
stock and domesticated animals are being bred in cr eas

,
ingly with thi s aim in view ; there is in fact no single

type wh ich could not find its highest expression by its
positive qualities completely outweighing its negative
ones A nd thi s brings us back to the claim for equality
.
14
of birth as an imperative condition for every marriage .
Why are the children of so few great men equally capa

ble ? Becau se the latter have hardly ever married women
of their own standing If they had done thi s as in E u .
,
rope th e Ol d ruling familie s did ( and as in th e E ast the

p oets arti sts and philo s opher s did as well ) t h en al
, , , ,
though the exceptional endowment could not be pre served

— it cannot be maintained for a long period as it requires ,
14 d
T h i s i ea i s w o r k e o ut mo r e f u d lly
a n d f r o m a S i gh t l ly d i ff er ent
po i n t o f V i ew i n Z ur U eb er cw i n d u n q d es B os en d ur c h G u tes , P ar t V, i n
my W eq zur Vollend ung, D a r msta t, Otto R ei ch l Ver a g d l .
right up to the wasting of talented people in technical
pursuits in our own times ; or else they have become
torpid The caste system proved unfavourable to the r a
.
ci al instinct in the long run In olden times it was pri .
marily the nobility which was as a whole extremely vital

, ,
and more especially the kings who multiplied, so that ,
often entire families were de scended from a few heroes ,
W hereas o n account of the unfavourable conditions o f

15
life the lower classes hardly increased at all
,
Today .
th e oppo site is true The tremendous increase o f the

.
p opulation in G ermany for example during the last hun , ,
dred year s has multiplied principally only inferior stock ;

so much so that the t ype o f G erman of the great old times
i s rarer than red Indians in N orth A merica Further it .
h as been proved that democracy which aims at raising ,
the lower classes in reality sterilizes and deprives them

,
o f endowments I n fact it can be shown that in E ng

.
land between the thirteenth and twentieth centuries pro

p or ti on ately less talented per s ons have constantly risen
from the lower orders A nd when these have once
ri sen , their hereditary qualities are lost to their stem .
N or was this in the long run favourable to the upper

classes because as a rule the progeny of talented up starts
,
could not adapt them selves to the new conditions of life .
A n extremely interesting discovery is due to Fl Ugge wh o ,
s howed that a race must be immunized to the effects o f
civilization j ust as to tho se of any di sease in order to ,
survive it N ot the younger but the older a family is

.
, , ,
15
p . . . ll
C o m a r e F C S S c h i er s T h e C a s e f o r Eug eni c s, i n T he D a l
’ “
h o us i e R ev i ew
ly v l b l dd d
.
16
p
C om a r e th e e tr eme x a ua e w o r k s o f L o th r o S to p
ar , es e p
c i a l ly hi s R ev o lt a g a i n s t C i v i l i za ti o n, New Y l
o r k, C h a r es S c r i n e r s S on s ,
’
b
a n d T h e Ri s i n g T i d e o
f C o lor a g a i n s t Whi te W or ld S upr ema cy T o
x p v d dd
.
w h a t a n e tent th e Eur o e a n r a c es h a e et er i o r a te ur i n g t h e c o ur s e o f
th e c en tur i es i s g r a h i c a p lly
a n d t er r i b ly p
o r tra e yd
i n G r a nt s T he P as s
’
i ng of the G r ea t R a ce, f o u r th e iti on , New d Y

o r k , 1 92 3 , a nd G ii nth er s
’
K l ei n e Ra ss en kund e E ur op a s, M unch en , I
F Leh ma nn
. . .
T HE PRO PER C H OIC E OF PAR T N ERS 2 97
if it has con served its Vitality the better can it adapt it ,
self to changing conditions o f life That is wh y ruling .
families because they have lived longest under extremely

,
favourable conditions seem the least debilitated b y their ,
privileges, and this weakness apparently grows in pro

p ortion to the recentness of privileged standing Under .
these terribly serious conditions only the most rigorou s ,
selection can save mankind from an irredeemable deter i o

ration Today it should be recognized as a religiou s duty
—everywhere growing public opinion p oints to this— to
.
better the stock wherever p ossible A nd then in turn .

, ,
better stock will again be rationally privileged Today .
we are living a paradox ; after several centuries of de

mocr acy—it commenced in advanced countries according ,
to D e Tocqueville already in the fourteenth century— a

,
period o f extremely aristocratic outlook is arising Just .
as in life in surance the expectation of life ri ses with in

, ,
crease of age so in the coming centuries the old stock

, ,
which is immune to the e ff ects o f civilization will a l ,
ways gain ascendancy naturally not quantitatively but ,
qualitatively E verything depends o n the old families

.
becoming vitalized by rej uvenation Q uite young fami .
lies will prove themselves always more incapable of coping

with the growing demands o f modern life The contrast s .
between types will thus rather increase than dimini sh .
Here another p oint must be taken into consideration .
18
Al bert Reib mayr has shown that it is probable that the
civilizing o f barbaric peoples i n hi storic times was made
p os sible only by intermarriage with civilized people A t .
any rate E uropean history clearly demonstrates that the

d
S ee L u w ig Fl ii gge s D i e r a ss en hi o log i s ehe B e eutung d es s oizi a len
17 ’
d
A uf s teig ens un d d a s P r o b l em d er i mmun zszer ten Fa m l en, G o tt ngen, ii ‘
i
1 92 0, V d
a n enh oec k u n d Ru r ech t p
k
.
1 8 S ee h i s E ntw i c lun s es ch i chte d es T a l en tes a nd G en tes, Munch en,

g g
I F L ehma nn
. . .
2 98 C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYS ERL I N G
rise o f civilization was proportionately rapid or slow ac
cording to whether intermarriage with families o f cul
tural tradition was largely practi sed or not That is why .
the cultural renai ssance of E urope following on the tur ,
bulent migration of peoples appeared first in Ital y and,
France and gradually penetrated into G ermany from ,
south to north N ations appear to produce talented peo

.
ple and geniuses in proportion to the amount of cultural

heritage distributed among the population The requi .
site
“
cultural ferment is in reality ever ywhere at hand
”
, , ,
becau se in the long run it is tran smitted th rough the f e

male and not the male lines T h e latter are always com
.
ar ativ ely short lived The

-
higher the mental develop
p .
ment attained the more difficult it proves to maintain

,
biological equilibrium for thi s is as h as already be en

, ,
pointed out hindered by a state of mental tension O n

,
.
the other hand th e feminine element is fundamentally

indestructible Thus the continuity of endowments as
.
well as civilization itself depends on the one fact that

throughout all the b arbarian invasions the women car ,
r i er s o f the cultural heritage were generally permitted
to live and could thus transmit this heritage to their

ch ildren A lso in the long run—Reib mayr has made
.
this appear so probable that I myself believe in his hy

p o th es i s— cultural heritage proves more durable than
s avage . The stage of incubation may be long But at .
some time or other the really valuable element s will break

through anew N ow that the races of mankind in com
.
,
pari s on with former times have ( to a very great extent )

,
deteriorated or become enervated and more especiall y ,
because o f the satanically negative selection operative dur

ing the World War everything depends entirely on full
,
use being made of the existing heritage and its wi se in

crease That is why the hour o f eugenics is at hand
. .
his original instinctive a ssurance He should strive to .
put creative knowledge in its place He must raise his .
intellect and spirit by conscious in sight to be enabled to ,
establish the same immediate contact with reality as

21
primitive man p ossesses on a lower level This is the .
principal problem of th e near future as regards the proper

ch oice o f partners in its relation to p o sterity This is .
the most important task especially from the standpoint

,
o f spiritual and intellectual development The spiritual .
and intellectual standard and consequently the p o ssibility

,
o f solving S piritual and intellectual problem s al s o de ,
pends largely on predispo sition R udolf K as sner once .
said that aristocracy was an economy o f experience The .
age o f the cultural heritage if vitality h as been preserved , ,
i s most certainly a point in its favour Important prob .
lems can be directly solved only when subordinate and

temporary ones have been settled ; that is to say when ,
they are being solved automatically and thus leave the

mind free to cope with more important matt ers That .
this is the actual state of affairs and that our forefathers ,
were right in believing i n the importance o f ancestral

lineage and inborn qualities as opposed to modern con , .
cep ti on s has been apodictically proved by the crucial ex

,
p er i men t o f the la st century A democratic age hoped to .
compensate for hereditary advantages by merely improv

ing conditions and institutions In this it failed and such .
,
attempts will always fail For we are creatures of flesh .
and blood and only flesh beget s flesh The destiny of

,
.
blood is also the destiny of the spirit for only by means ,
o f a body can spirit manife st itself o n earth This ac .
counts for the enormous respon sibility of parenthood .
M others are right in seeing in good children something

21 Ho w th i s c an be a ch i e vd i
e s exp l ai ne d in th e ch a pt er Wa s uns
N ot tu t i n my S ch opf er i s ch e E k
r enn n s , t i a nd a sol in Di e n eu ents teh end e
Welt .
T HE PROPER C H OIC E OF PAR T N ERS 3 0 1
every bit as significant spiritually as the supremest work

of art .
ROM this standp oint the proper choice o f partners b e

F comes a super personal problem The destiny of hu
-
.
manity depends entirely on the nature o f the solution

given it If a spirit o f collectivism seems to be gaining
.
ground everywher e today that is a sign that questions ,
concerning the general welfare o f all men have become

historically prevalent In this respect we are living under
.
conditions that resemble war time s 5 that is to say per ,
sonal considerations have to give place to general meces

sity. A nd here finally we return to a fact that has al
, ,
ready been b r iefly mentioned 5 namely that the problem ,
of the choice o f partners is di ff erent according as it is

taken from the standpoint o f the partners them selves or
that o f posterity I n actual practice also these two aspect s
.
have never corresp onded In former times it was sim .
p l e
,
r because when people married their first consider ,
ation was their children Y outh was instructed naturally

.
to give precedence to matters o f general welfare before

thinking o f personal interests and strict conventions ,
guarded against the p ossibility o f defaulting How shall .
we manage to cope n ow and in the near future with the

monstrous intensification o f personal and individual con
sci ousness ? In this connection it can only be stated that
life has not become by the awakening of individualism
less tragic but more so Cases will become ever more
,
.
frequent in which responsibility to posterity and the in

ter ests of self— development will clash in an insuperable
conflict E very one will have to choose his alternative
.
and decide what blame h e thereby takes upon himself .
It is most certainly the duty of the man of great talents

'
to discharge his debt to humanity by first thinking o f his

own personal development The value of every real
.
marriage on a high plane in the sense indicated in the

,
introductory essay is so high that it guarantees priority to

,
individual interests over general considerations P erhaps .
such highly developed couples when they recognize that

,
t h ey are liable to endanger their children s welfare will ’

,
Voluntarily renounce their claims to them During the .
entire M iddle Ages though for other reasons the ma

, ,
j o r i ty o f highly gifted men remained without i s sue ; and

this was not such a misfortune as many people suppo se b e ,
cause many o f them were pathological from a racial p oint

of View In fact , this was more often the case in those
.
days than now because intellectual endowments had then

,
to war against the extremely n on-intellectual type of the

age But some form of renunciation is always necessary
. .
This fact enables us not only to combat the sentimental

ism which obj ects to rational grounds for marriage but to ,
divest this principle of i ts apparently inhuman character .
M an is distingui shed from the animals by the fact that his

world is created by his spirit He first proves his man
.
hood by ri sing superior to his passion s ; these he should

not mortify but on the contrary as the Talmud beau
, ,
“
ti f ully expres se s it The greater a man is the stronger
, ,
are his passions— but the pure and consecrated man makes
of his passions a chariot for G od ”
M an is a human
.
being only if he conquers N ature by spirit That is why .
ethics demarcate the lowest stage o f the really human .
And consequently marriage belongs primarily to the

sphere of ethics or it is not worthy of the name M ar
,
.
r i age without ethos is a valueless concept There is no.
need to marry in order merely to gratify one s pas sions ’

.
Whoever does so sins against himself as a human being ;

Under these circumstances our investigation which r e
, ,
sul ts in enj oining renunciation , cannot be said to make in

3 4
0 . C O U N T H ERMAN N KEYSERL I N G
fl ict,it is fundamentally a sign of inadequate education
“
The vital form o f marriage corresponds to man s nature ’

.
In marriage , if i t properly fulfils its Obj ect a part of

,
which is the correct solution of the accurately formulated

problem o f the proper ch orce o f partners man achieves
,
a truly comprehensive and many-sided fulfilment Con .
sequently he need only comprehend the signi ficance o f

'
his own innermost desires more clearly than most people

are aware of them today and then the renunciation wh ich
,
is essential to marriage proves to be the means also in ,
the case of the particular problem under di scussion to ,
ward achieving a higher and most j oyous fulfilment

_
.
S T K R E T S C H M E R
P h ys i c a l an d Sp i ri tua l H a rmo ny i n M a r ri age

U e her a ll n a mlieh i st d er In sti n kt e i n Wi r
hen w ie n a c h ei n em Z w eehhegr ifi a n d cl oc k
g a n z o hn e den selben .
v y
In stin c t i s a n a c ti i t w h i ch a l w ys
a
ppear s
a
to b e d d d
ir ec te to w a r some i d ea, an d
yet i s
u i te w i th o ut a n u h
q y s c .
SC H OP EN H AUER ,
Metaphysi h d er G esc hle c htsli ehe
M ON G all the reasonable and unreasonable causes

which year in and year out bring about or prevent
the conclusion of marriages the j udgment of the value of
,
“ ” “
physical beauty or ugliness is apparently the most
falsely founded but still the most e ff ective In the contest .
of motives i t IS frequently Victorious vanqui shing consid ,
er ati on s o f money and career and j udgments o f in telli
gence and character Again and again it conquers as one

.
o f the central focuses o f erotic attraction and repulsion ,
with a silent natural coercion , those other more rational

,
arguments for the conclusion o f marriage Wherever we .
“ ”
encounter such irrational elements in human actions ,
we are confronted by deep biological questions which ex

tend beyond all personal interests and destinies into the
co smic.
This erotic valuation based on the physical appearance

o f a human be i ng 18 i n i ndividual ca ses full of pas sionate
, ,
subj ectivity It does not become more evidently sensible ,

.
3 05
3 0 6 E RN S T KRE T S C H M ER
real or legitimate if we follow it from the personal into
,
the sphere of ideals of beauty or ugliness held by entire

groups of peoples or certain epochs But we cannot save .
ourselves this little excur sion if we want to return with

,
deepened perception to the connection s between body and

spirit in marriage For much o f this permits of under
.
standing only superindividually , it is fundamentally i m

—
pulsive and as far as it is impul sive it discloses i ts full ,
sense only sexually ; for the happiness o f the individual ,

however it is fate destiny and frequently paradox
, , , .
The ideals of beauty held by our E uropean family of

peoples for example seem to vacillate aimlessly They
, ,
.
vary over wide ranges in the various epochs of the hi story

of art in which the ultimate extreme on the one side was
,
for a time reached in the G othic in an external sharpness , ,
hardness dryness and bonine ss in the portrayal of the

, ,
face and an almost brittle thinness and delicate slenderness

of bodily form ; thi s epoch s ideal of beauty spiritually
’
,
characterized by the inclination to ascetic mysticism there ,
fore evidently favours within the multitude o f variations

,
o f the E uropean races those physical formations which

,
are denoted con stitutionally and biologically as asthenic

( m —
without strength ) or l ep to so o us ( meagre bodied ) It .
soon swings beyond the classical middle line of the R enais

,
sance , quite over to the opposite wing o f the multitude o f

racial variations as we find it again in the paintings o f the
,
baroque culminating in Ruben s ; it luxuriates in blooming

,
countenances and even in a j ust tolerable degree of physical

exuberance and fulnes s ; well -made man speaking from ,
the p oint of View o f biological constitution stands at the ,
apex o f the idea o f beauty of thi s time From the heavy .
fulness o f the baroque the architectural forms swing in

,
anthrop omorphic parallels in accordance with the ideal

of beauty in the human bodily form , to the almost child
3 08 ERN S T KRE T S C H M ER
any means embrace all forms of the body coming into ex
istence during an exten sive epoch . The ideals o f beauty
in di ff erent p eriods fluctuate in the first place only with
regard to the fulness o f the body—s lender or luxuriant
and in a slighter degree with regard to the si ze of body
stately or delicate ; but with regard to the construction of
the Skeleton they all hold to the narrow limits of so
“ ”
called good proportion 5 that is within certain propor
,
tions of dimensions characteristic of a certain race as espe ,
ci ally the structure o f the skeleton o f the face the relation

,
o f the lengths of the trunk and of the limbs as well as

,
the proportionate length and heaviness of the various parts

“
of the limb s to each other What falls out side this good
.
”
proportion is likewi se outside of every ideal of beauty
o f that group of people , it is apprehended sometimes
“ ”
simply negatively as ugly ,
sometimes humorously ,
s ometimes with fright : in short ,

with a great Variety of
“ ”
feelings but in every ca se not as beautiful and above
, ,
all not as erotically attractive for healthy desire I n this

, .
class are included the exce ssively large and excessively

“ ” “ ”
small creatures the giants and the dwarfs 5 and above
,
all those who are badly disproportioned in face or body

, ,
“ “ ”—
who are stamped as caricatures or freaks among the
freaks, those forms which in biologically characteristic
mixture with others a ff ect the in stincts as being o f a
strange species and therefore as erotically repul sive 5 for
example those o f a bestial type or of a markedly foreign
,
“ ”
race It is characteri stic that in these ugly bodily form s
.
certain definite var i at i on s O f the spirit are thought to

“ ” “ ”
dwell ; we speak of the uncouth giant the sly dwarf
, ,
“ ”
the fiendish monstrosity .
Here we come to a peculiarly accurate association o f

medical and biological with esthetic valuations especially ,
erotic esthetics , as far as they are nai vely that is to say

, ,
P H YS I C A L A ND SP I RIT UA L H ARM O NY 3 9
0
im pulsively conditioned by instinct The same physical

, .
“
creations which are outside o f e sthetic good proportion ”
, ,
are also u sually physically and spiritually out side the

“ ”
realm of the greatest healthine ss The se creations .
,
which are grouped together in constitutional biological -
“ ”
phraseology under the designation dyspla stic are on ,
the average like so many extreme biological varieties les s ,
stable of reduced vitality and strength more subj ect to

, ,
illness and destruction less capable of procreation M any

, .
glandular disturbances are frequently found among

them , that is forms which do not possess the internal
,
chemical balance in the impulsive material of their physi

cal and spiritual make— up ; forms with exces sively large
hands and feet ( acr o megalous type ) with exce ssivel y ,
long limb s ( type of the eunuch ) heavy impediment s of ,
development in the m i ddle face and chin ( h y poplastic

type of face ) cretinous a n d other forms of dwarf
,
growth coarse variant s of the sexual type ( coar se

,
boned male women men with infantile physiognomies )

, ,
or those with the symptoms of general sickliness high de ,
grees of thinness or fat In all these cases the esthetic

.
valuation of ugly coincides with the medical —biological

“ ”
“ ”
valuation of abnormal .
L et us now return to our sta r ting— point : to wit the ,
condition in life of young couples who conclude marriage .
Pretty girls are married in preference to ugly ones A .
girl announces to her parent s with great determination

that she will not marry a certain gentleman because she
finds him unendurably ugly , and thereby the weightiest
considerations of reason go for nothing P ersonally this .
,
i s a whim O f hers 5 superper sonally it is an in stinct For ,

.
her per s onally it i s perhaps the greatest stupidity of her

life ; superpersonally there re sides within it as within
, ,
everything impulsive a powerful secret reason As b e

,
.
3 10 ERN S T KRE T S C H MER
hind the fashions of beauty so also behind the percep
,
tion of ugliness there is a universal rule of instinct for the

preservation o f the qualitie s of a race The verdict o f .
ugline ss works steadily toward less frequent participation

in procreation and thereby ultimately toward the c limi
,
nation o f biologically inferior variants This is not the .
place to determine Whether this goal is usually attained

under cultural conditions as they have developed today .
Is not the G erman word for ugly ( h assli ch ) derived

from the word f or hate H ass Is it sensible or reason
able to hate anything j ust because it is not beautiful ?
At the very point however where reason leaves off the
, , ,
instincts begin the powerful dark forces of impulse from

, ,
the depths Hatred the opposite of love is erotic r e

.
, ,
pulsion .
“ ”
Has this valuation of the physically beautiful and
”
ugly a bearing also on the spiritual harmony of married
couples or a significance for the preservation of the spirit
ual qualities of the race ? This has Often been denied with
great emphasis A reasonable opinion says : S piritual qual
.
ities alone must be conclusive for people of high value

o n entering into marriage ; only superficial people would
trouble them selves about defects of beauty. In individual

cases thi s may be sometimes correct since there is indeed ,
frequent but not general congruence between physical and

“ ”
spiritual good proportion We find among the highly
.
gifted and especially among persons o f genius accumula

tions of symptoms of psychic and also , to some extent ,
physical degeneration , which forcibly lead us to the con

clusi on that cultural and biological standards o f value do
not everywhere coincide but in many point s diverge

,
s harply from each other ; al s o the highly gifted are ex

,
treme variants of humankind and as such are burdened,

3 12 ERN S T KRE T S C H MER
of happiness f or the prospective spiritual harmony This .
is what an ans sana in corp or e san o means — “

a healthy
”
mind in a healthy body .
A much more profound more significant sense lies,

, ,
however in the superper sonal ; the physic ally instinctive

,
“ ” “ ”
j udgment beautiful and ugly works ultimately most
, ,
favourably through the ma ss of all marriages, not only

,
for physical , but also for spiritual selection in propagation .
At least in extreme instances the chances of concluding a

,
marriage will be thereby rendered forever unfavourable

for many severe forms o f degeneracy An d again for th e .
preservation of the mental qualities o f well bred and cul -
tur ed families the erotic perception of beautiful or ugly

,
bodily form is in the long run not altogether immaterial .
From all these univer sal rules in the choice of mates

we come to the specific question what definite individual
,
temperaments attract each other erotically and are thus

mutually inclined to marriage ? The p opular interpreta
tion in this matter is not clear and tends to contradictory
views O n one side there is the opinion that old married
.
people often resemble each other in essentials of conduct

and in outward appearance and become increasingly more
similar ; on the other hand that opposites are most at
,
tractive to each other in marriage There is nothing clear

.
in this , nothing more than momentary impressions I .
have consequently collected data on one hundred married

couples both parties of which I kne w well enough in
,
their true nature and in their outward appearance , the

predominant maj ority belong to the educated class and
mo stly to the academic profe ssion ; obviou s marriages
”
of reason for the sake of money and of support were
, ,
excluded but for the remainder there was no selection

,
.
I have reviewed and statistically evaluated the whole ma

ter ial from the modern points o f View of temperament
P H YS I C A L A ND SP R I IT UA L H ARM O N Y 3 3
1
and constitutional biology I t is based including all the .

,
varieties and mixed forms, on the six principal funda

mental temperaments ; that is : the hyp qmanic ( vigorou sly
alive ) , the syntonic ( comfortably realistic ) and the heavy ,
blooded on the cyclothymic Si de , from the schizothymous

,
series the sensitive ( fin ely—sensitive delicate idealistic )

,
-
, , ,
the schizothymous middle strata ( coolly energetic quietly ,
aristocratic ) , a n d the autistically cold ( cold cold ner vous ,

-
autistic eccentric ) .
1
T o obtain a comprehensive Vie w the married couples ,
were j udged by several of their acquaintances to deter ,
mine whether they were cons i dered as predominantly

mentally similar or dis similar , the conclusions were then
tabulated The results Showed that , of the on e hundred
.
married couples thirteen were considered as pr edomi

,
n an tly similar S ixty —

three as predominantly di ssimilar
, ,
and twenty four as about equally similar and dissimilar

-
.
Without putting too much emphasis on the results of this

very cursory survey, it is at once apparent that those mar
ried couples wh o at first sight a r e designated by every
one who knew them as dissimilar predominate strongly
over the very few pairs who are regarded by their clo ser
acquaintances as being essentially uniform M any of the .
1 Mo r e d et a i sl l
w i l b e f o un d i n my b oo k, K or p er ha u a n d Ch a r a ter k
d l
( P hys i ca l For m a n d C h a r a cter ) , f o ur th e i ti o n , B er i n, S r i nger , 1 92 4 p .
yp
y ld
T h e c y c l o thy mo us t e s, w h o a r e l i e i n g a n d i nc i n e to fl uc tu ati n g
p d ll
e r i o s o f o sc i v y
l
a ti o n , by v l d
ar b
i n th ei r f ee i n gs s e er a eg r ees etw een
v
th e ly v
i go r o us vy b l d d d pp d
a c ti e a n d th e h ea y l
- oo e h an i c a e T h e i n c i ne
l l p y lly
.
p
to a r ea i s ti c -h umo r o us c o m r eh en si o n o f i f e a nd h s i c a to a t h i ck
b d ly
s et o i s tr uct u r e l d y l
In c a s e o f ment a i s ea s e, th e i n c i n e to ma n i c
dp v l y y yp l
.
e r e s si e ( ci r c u a r ) i n s a n i t T h e sc h i zo th mo us t e s i n c i n e to
l dv p
.
a uti smu s p
( th a t i s, to s i r itu a l i so a ti on ) , to th e e elo ment o f a c o m
pl d l d l dvlp ll p
ic a t e i nn er i f e, t o a o esc ent e e o ments f u o f c r i s es . T h ei r s i r
l v
i tu a l i f e dl p
a r i es f r o m v e i c a t e s u er sen s i ti en es s ( HOld er li n n a tur e s ) t o
d y d p
f r i gi i t o f y l
i s o s it i o n d l
T h e i nc i n e to h umo ur l es s s er i o us n ess, to i ea
p y ly d l y l dl
.
i sm, a n d h s ic a l to e i c a c o f str uct ur e ( sm a l-gr o w i ng, e i c ate) o r

l py l b d
to a n a th eti c y d pl y
h sic a ld dy p l
u i l , o r th e is a man if o s a s ti c d i s
p p b d ly
r o o r ti o n s i n o i ld
gr o w th y ll
I n c a s e o f ment a i se a se, th e w i
gen
d p d p x y i iy
.
er al ly b e sei z e b y sc h i zo h r eni a ( ementi a r a eco , o uthf ul n sa n t ) .

ERN S T KRE T S C H M ER
’
3 14
”
dissimilar give the direct impression o f contrast in their
s piritual structure e specially in their temperaments and
, ,
appear as tangibl y complementing each other in their

per s onal life and in the transmission of their peculiaritie s
to their children .
It almost goes without saying that people who have not

a single p oint of contact on their entire spiritual horizon
do not marry on e another , in any ca se none such are in ,
our records . E ven tho se who are strongly contrasted share

in most cases minor partial complexes in their spiritual
make —up which serve as a bridge to mutual understand
,
ing ; frequently also in an inborn and almost complete

,
dis similarit y this common platform is created through the

,
more spiritual principles gained by education like similar ,
family backgrounds and manners similar convictions in ,
views o f the world and of religion even when they are ,
founded and felt inwardly and temperamentally in a

wholly di ff erent manner by the two parties .
The result s are still clearer and more tangible if we

evaluate each single personality according to its domi
nant temperamental type Thus we find t h at among our
.
,
two hundred persons seventeen are plainly vigorously

,
active hypomanics ( in the entire temperament or in strik

ing partial complexes ) ; th i rteen o f them have the heavy
set physical construction O f these seventeen hypomanics
.
,
the mate in not on e instance has even a remote sugge stion

o f the hypomanic temperament Hypomanic tempera
.
ments therefore— although marriages of two hypomanics

,
—
may occa sionally occur have as a whole only a very
slight e rotic attraction of a lasting kind for each other .
This is again a very peculiar fact one only to be under ,
stood i nst i nct i vely for it is hard to comprehend why these

,
exceptionally sociable j olly active natures who are very

, , ,
easily approachable erotically should not more often ,

3 16 ERN S T KRE T S C H M ER
z oi ds fourteen were found ( of whom there were twelve
with delicate l ep tosom ous bodie s ) These often nervously
.
delicate agoraphobiac and impractical natures s h owe d a

, ,
quite surprising predilection for energetic, life loving -
marriage-p artners Twelve of them the overwhelming

.
,
percentage were mated with such S even of their mar

,
.
r i age mates were decidedly cy cl oth ymous ( four hypo

-
manic three syntonic ) ; the remaining five likewise

,
energetic, realistic natures, mixed form s made up of cyclo

th ymous components and cool consi stent or sensuously
, ,
refined elements of schizothymous stamp .
O nly two out of fourteen schizoids cho se for themselve s

s imilar predominantl y s chizoth y mous partners In both .
cases it was a type o f schizoid late marriage which seems

to occur once in a while Both husbands up to their
.
fortieth year hesitated to get married so that one might ,
have thought them confirmed bachelors O ne of them .
then found the realization of a latent ideal love of his

youth ; the other concluded a marriage of convenience
with an impractical esthetically gifted girl of a well —to do
,
-
family .
H ere we pass on to those who remain unmarried by

“ ”
reason of natural disposition the born bachelor and spin
,
s ter, w h o are especially frequent among the strongly
schizoid with their unapproachable shyness and their

,
s s —
complicated erotic predi po itions which sometimes lack
s —
impul ive drive and with their tendency to solitude .
R eviewing the whol e of our material Of more extreme

cases of on e-sided temperaments , namely hypomanics , ,
h eavy —blooded and strongly schizoid a total of t h irt y

,
m
four out of two hundred persons— w e must state that in

cl in ati on to marriage s of similarity i s quite scarce among
them while inclination to marriages of distinct contrast

,
P H YS I C A L A N D SP I R IT UA L H ARM O N Y 3 17
is so strongly predominant that it can almost be indicated

as a rule .
Also in our complete material marriage s of similarit y , ,
as has been said are considerably in the minority We

, .
have examined individually according to their tempera ,
ments , the thi rteen married couple s indicated as of thi s

form Apart from the two previously mentioned schizoid
.
late marriages they were all being s O f the spiritual middle

,
sphere o f more balanced temperaments In four instances

, .
there are well balanced mixed forms ; on e couple are self

-
a ssured society people In not less than seven instances

.
both mates were syntonic and at the same time chiefly ,
of the plump short pyknic body type These pyknic

, ,
-
.
syntonic married couples are also known to the casual ob

server and apparently form the foundation of the observa
tions which maintain that Older married couples become
Similar as long as one does not mean by that the cus
,
tomar y equalization o f the emotional expression .
These pyknic syntonic married couples attract attention

-
through their bodily and spiritual likene ss ; they ultimately

bring their manner o f life into perfect accord with each
other and harmonize in their movement s as accurately as
two well -regulated clocks : they are surrounded by a
sunny comfortable quiet atm osphere as of warm co ff ee
, ,
cup s
.
The result of our researches can be summed up thus :

Among a mixed material o f sound human beings mar ,
r i ages o f contrast are decidedly more frequent generally ,
Speaking than those o f similarity The more extreme

,
.
,
the more on e sided the temperament s are, the more

-
,
strongly do they prefer marriages of contrast .
Homogeneous married mates are found chiefly in the

equalized temperaments of the middle sphere especially ,
in the syntonic .
3 18 ERNS T KRE T S C H M ER
“ ”
Here , as in the case of the e fiects of beautiful and
”
ugly or that of the primitive horror of incest we are
, , !
facing wonderful regulations of instinct great super ,
personal principle s which may not be completely expl ained

by individual p sychology but to some extent operate di
,
re ctly contrary to our expectations A lso , the p r edomi .
nance O f marriages of contrast becoming stronger the ,
closer we come to the extreme types of temperament ,

works decide dly against the multiplication of extreme
biological variant s through heredity 5 it prevents the ac
cumulated ascendancy of those t y pes which are less capable
o f resistance in health and in the struggle for life The .
marriage of contra st is al ways carrying the imperilled ex

tremes over into the next generation where they must in ,
ter m ingl e with the healthy biologically adapted mean

,
.
The se are i ts general biological functions In addition .
thereto it h as still more important individual significance ,
e specially in the creation of high intellectual gifts notably ,
th e training O f genius A good number o f great geniuses

.
—I recall G oet h e and Bismarck— were sons of exception

ally sharply contra sted marriages The father Of G oethe .
,
wit h h is dry pedantic earnestness and the Fr a u Rat with

, , ,
her sunny scintillating humour are polar contra st s ; and it

, ,
i s not difficult with a knowledge of the more complicated

,
conne ctions of individual psy chology to follow the two ,
parental lines throughout the poet s whole life : the dis ’
tin gui sh ed cla ssicism the earnest th orough industry o f a

, ,
s cholar and a collector , and the somewhat sti ff manner of
the privy councillor on the one side ; the effervescing un

-
, ,
confined temperament the warmth O f soul and the capacity

,
for love on the other E ach half o f h is inheritance

,
.
partly mingled with the other in h is life and works and ,
partly stood side by side with it in separate phases , acts , ,
and attitudes S imilarly in Bismarck a sharp contrast is

.
2
3 0 N ST
ER K RE T S C H M E R
other for the procreation o f posterity u seful to the species .
The s overeign will of N ature to Serve the race with the

,
greatest efli cien cy therefore operates at the expen se of the

,
individual and his life s happiness

’
.
Al though in agreement with much that S chopenhauer

has said although our special researches clearly reveal the
,
sovereignty of the superpersonal mechanism o f instinct

even in the case of the choice of a mate by a cultured mod
ern human being the on e—sidedness of his p resentation
,
nevertheless cannot be ignored a on e-sidedness which is

,
inseparably connected with the sharp sarca stic pessimism ,
of his wh ole sense of life With S chopenhauer the dis

.
cr ep an cy between the aims of the species and those of the
individual in the marriage — choice becomes a tragic conflict

which inexorably shatters the individual s happine ss ’
.
But such an absolute contrast between the two aims does

not in fact exist T h e individual choice of a mate i s many
.
time s the result of a consciously or les s consciously f or mu

lated compromise between di ff erent currents of emotion ,
which are in part mostly personal in part mostly racial in

,
origin R ational and in stinctive impulses are mingled

.
therein the instinctive usually prevailing But the in

, .
stin ctive i s not simply identical with the racial intere t nor
s,
the rational with the individual M an y instin cts serve the
.
species not against but rather directly through the pros

p e r i ty of the individual j u s t through the furtherance of
,
his personal vitality and his advantageous adaptation to

life.
And thus accurate observation and p sychological

analysis of a large number of married couple s teach us
plainly that combinations mo st useful for procreation f r e
quently lead at the same time to individually propitious
life—partnership s ; that for example the instinctive in
, ,
cl in ati on to the marriage of contrast not only advantage

P H YSIC A L A ND SP I R IT UA L H ARM O N Y 3 2 1
ous ly mixes the qualities o f the o ff spring but that this ,
mutual supplementing of qualities often proves likewise

of great advantage to both partie s to the marriage them
selves in the struggle for life This harmonization pro .
duces a lasting feeling for personal life — partnership while ,
the psychological irritation and repulsion o f dissimilar

qualities di scharge themselves in occasional stormy crises .
This is perhaps the most frequent normal occurrence in

marriages of contrast .
A side from this unhappy marriages are certainly f r e

,
quent enough But they arise only in part from the tragic
.
‘
conflict of which S chopenhauer speaks between the inter

, ,
ests o f the individual and those of the species M uch .
more frequently such marriages are concluded by two

psychopathic or at least mentally ill -adj usted human b e
ings who not only do not understand themselves in the
,
matter Of their own life s happiness but who also have ’

,
had the in stincts of the species within them somehow

curbed inj ured or led astray A nd when such mar
, ,
.
r iages break up it is not tragedy deception and mordant

, , ,
“
irony but only another manifestation of the will of the
,
”
race .
We have thus far examined the question of the mar

r iage o f contrast , of the relative complementary attitude
of two married people , under the a spect of the general

theory o f temperaments S till another special problem
.
,
much debated biologically arises here concerning the har

, ,
mony o f two married people with regard to their sexual

characters their whole sexual nature Thi s problem refers
,
.
to the great complex of the whole question of sexual de

“ ”
termination O f the delimitation between masculine and
,
“ ”
feminine and the eventual forms of transition between
the tw o and consequently to a subj ect which has been dis
,
cussed with growing thoroughness from S chopenhauer and

3 22 E RN S T KRE T S C H M ER
Weininger to Hirschfeld and G oldschmidt partly under ,
philo sophical partly under medical and zoological aspects

, ,
and which once more occupie s the centre Of the stage in

contemporary biological research We cannot here de.
scribe in detail t h is great realm o f study but can only ,
formulate the train of thought which is of interest at this

point and which supported by important facts may be
, , ,
thu s expres sed : M an and woman are not ab solute con

“
tr asts , it i s rather possible that the factors of the mascu
” “ ”
line and the feminine are potentially embedded in each
pers on and that for instance in a masculine individual
,
“ ”
th e factors of the feminine are more or le ss inhibited by
dominating forces and Vice Versa ; and that this p r edomi
,
nance of one sexual type over the other might p ossess dif
f er ent degrees in the same individual so that strictly , ,
speaking one should di stingui sh not men and women but

, ,
more masculine and more feminine individual s The de .
grees of masculinity and femininity might be so sharply

graduated that one could Obtain a continuous row of
“ ” “ ”
sexual intermediate types or intersexes between the
two terminal poles in the centre of which stand those rare
,
form s of genuine androgy ny of which one could not say

whether they are of the male or the female sex Thi s .
theory if it could be supported by additional material

,
proof would in fact supply a uniform frame for many of

,
the facts of universal biology and medicine .
A side from this special formulation so much may be ,
said with certainty that in the sexual characteri stics within

, ,
the physical as W ell as the mental realm important variant

,
formations are frequently to be ob served les ser or greater ,
inter str atificati on s suggestions of the typ e of the oppo site

,
sex ma sculine indications in the woman feminine one s in ,
the man .
In the spiritual realm we must to this end distinguish

3 4
2 ERN S T KRE T S C H M ER
occasionally met with but rather of the partially mascu
,
line and partially feminine traits much more interesting ,
psychologically which are incidental to the psy chic str uc

,
ture of fundamentally normal married couple s and of the ,
enigmatic warpings and deviations in the emotional life ,
the sympathies and antipathie s which are Often a mystery

,
to the persons them selves The sureness of instinctive .
attraction bringing together pair s who fit accurately to

,
gether in mutually supplementing sexual type is Often ,
astounding .
M ore serious cases of intersexual variant s frequently

lead to very unhappy marriages becau se the conflicting ,
3
psychic element s cannot be successfully harmonized .
Tho se who possess such disposition s are often torn and

discordant in them selves and su ff er under psychologically
consistent but unrealizable impul sive aim s in their desires
with regard to their erotic and general p sy chic connection s .
Thi s unevenne ss and thi s incapacity of fulfilment for con

tr adi ctor y aim s of de sire lead in marriage to the sharpest
irritation 5 at the worst when in an exceptional case two
,
variant s which are not complementary do meet each

other one mate assumes a normally directed sexual r Ole
,
and the other a metatr op ic .
The marriages O f S trindberg are a pathological proto

type o f the psychic disorder in the relationship of an inter
sexual husband with his wife— a man who over —comp en
sates his partially feminine traits by a rugged emphasis on
the male part ; for whom the conflict wi th the woman and ,
through her the woman question in general has become -

,
the perpetually renewed central problem of h is life , who

therefore has been driven into a prophetic r 61e in the
3 C om p are th e pyh l
s c o og i c a l stu dy of K ld
r o nf e U eb er ei n en b es ti mmten
i T yp
,
o f M et a tr o p i c
“
T y pus meta tr op i s ch er Fr a u en ( A C er ta n e
i n Ja hr b u ch f ur s ex uell en c i s ch enstuf en, 1 92 4 .

P H YS I C A L A ND SP I R IT UA L H ARMO N Y 3 5
2
modern struggle for p ower of the sexes because the ,

“ ” “ ”
masculine and the feminine fight con stantly within
himself since the de sire for domination and the v oluptu
,
o usn ess o f sub j ection are mingled in the mo st irreconcilable
contrasts o f his Own inherited predisposition In this way .
his own marriages are always destructive tragedies sizzling ,
fireworks between ice and flame hot amorousnes s and cold

,
hatred, attracting and repelling brutal never satisfied

, , ,
kept constantly feverish by the sensual desire to torture

and to be tortured .
O n the other hand we so frequently find in married

,
couples the reverse of the qualities which are significant

f or the sexual type in a broader sense that disregarding ,
extreme instances we mu st look on these as normal Va

,
riants especially since in many ca ses these peculiarities do

,
not O ff er disadvantages for the spiritual life together of

marriage and for the struggle of existence but rather more ,
often represent very ser viceable life partnerships We -

.
mean the cases in which the woman at certain points or ,
throughout the entire relation ship is superior to the man

,
in the qualitie s o f strength energy hardness and finally

, , ,
also in a sharper p ower of discrimination I count not .
less than eleven examples of thi s type among the one

hundred married couples We indicate thi s frequent typ e
.
o f marriage with rever sal of the ma sculine and feminine

,
sexual r 61es in regard to the qualitie s of the universal

struggle of existence as the F M t ype The se F M
,
.
-
. . .
-
.
marriages represent a significant special case in the mar

r iage o f contrast and complement as we have already Ob ,
served in the case of the univer sal instinctive attract i on of

the temperaments O f fourteen men among the cases in
.
o ur record wh o may be indicated as weak and only sl ightly
energetic, all but three have very e nergetic wive s .
The combination of the hen -pecked husband and a

3 6
2 ERN S T KRE T S C H MER
X anthippe represents the mo st extreme case of the F -M . .
m arriage a type which has been almost over exploited by

,
-
caricature in literature and drawing but which is really

,
quite rare O ut of our hundred couples I have only a

.
single truly typical in stance o f this kind This extreme .
type does not represent simply a normal complement of

temperament ; its occurrence can hardly be explained with
out suggestions from the sadistic— masochi stic group In .
contradistinction to popular notions it is noticeable in our

,
material that the F -M marriages are in large part ex

. .
cep ti on ally happy and harmonious , and in their beautiful
completion of intellectual qualities present to the outside

,
world a worthy and sympathetic picture Healthy sen si .

,
ble and well -bred women in such marriages f or the most

,
part avoid lapses from their feminine r Ol es ; even wives

wh o are dreaded by outsiders for their hardness and Sharp
ness are inclined to ideali ze their weak good hearted ,
-
husbands imaginativel y rather than to minimize them .
“
They instinctively seek to preserve toward them the up
”
ward looking character o f their normal sexual r Ole ; oc
-
casi on ally their feelings toward their husbands are trans
posed beautifully into the feelings o f the painstaking

mother I remember instances in which a wife of this
.
kind in spite of the most authoritative energy in domestic

,
matters honoured her very clever efficient and good

, , ,
hearted husband with devotion and conducted him every

morning through the garden to the gate even when she ,
was an old woman .
M en wh o wed such authoritative energetic wives

“
,
often have a significant type of constitution ; the one group

is of a very weak disposition good tempered cycl othy
,
-
mous of p yknic bodily build 5 the other group s intellec

, ,
tually very di ssimilar from them otherwi se are sen sitively ,
delicate or impractical schizothymous people who are shy

3 2 8 ERN S T KRE T S C H M ER
well -matched temperaments , that is, pyknic-syntonic
wive s afl ecti on ately kind but certainly not wavering per
, ,
s on al i ti es who enwrap the harsh husband with goodne ss

,
and who with comprehending foresight and humour di

rect a ff airs to some extent but who anyhow hold their own
,
at his side .
The three remaining marriages are decidedly mar

r i ages of contrast but unhappy ones ; the wife does not
,
hold her own against her despotic husband and is spirit

ually crushed by him O ne the wife of an imposing
.
, ,
rugged schizothymous hu sband of the greatest intellectual

force could not keep up with his di zzy social rise ; she
,
failed under the burden of her great social ta sks and was
inwardly rej ected by her husband , she herself a pro ,
n oun cedly p yk nical ly built woman with a rather heavy
blooded irresolutely s oft temperament and of simple in

,
tellectual endowment sank into a sub depressive psychic

,
-
condition The two other women are quiet unobtrusive

.
,
schizoids o f insignificant pallid appearance , nervous in

, ,
ti mi dated, with an expression of mute resentment in their

faces ; they have been completely pushed out of the way ,
and live in fear of people and like shadows in the back

ground o f the house .
HA NS VO N HATT INGB ERG
M a rri a ge as an An a l yti c a l S i tu a t i o n
the closest sort o f human contact with another

A human being the on e most difl erent by reason
s
o f sex marriage is a test of inner poise

,
We become so
.
forcibly conscious of the problematic element in ourselves

in this constantly problematic connection that many a
structure of character is shattered M arriage has a dis
.
soci ating e fl ect o n tho s e wh o are involved in it for the ,
union always remains a task If however we here con

.
, ,
“ ”
sider marriage as an analytical situation we do so pri ,
marily in a much narrower sense Analysis or psycho

.
analysis indicates for us today a psychological method a ,
means of producing spiritual e ff ects and intelligence is

,
therefore still required if we are to consider the great

question through the instrument of the latest psychic
research .
I . Th e An alyti cal Situati on

The medical process of healing by psychoanalysis is
directed toward the spiritual di sturbance of nervousness ,
toward an inner division the morbid exaggeration of the

,
contrast between that Of which we are con scious and that

which cau ses our dreams which we do not understand I n .
the most extreme instances this connection is broken to

such an extent that one arrives at a duplication o f per
“ ”
sonality at the cr eation o f a second
,
I , when movements
3 29
33 0 H AN S VO N H A TTI N G B ERG
of the dream -world which is otherwise wrapped in sleep
come to life to a life of sini ster independence in the form
, ,
o f nocturnal somnambulism But here a fi ssure always

.
separates the realm of the unconscious from the conscious
life of day to such an extent that its manifestations are

experienced a s something incompreh ensible something ,
foreign to the ego It may be morbid coercion or nervous

.
fear whose meaninglessness on e tries in vain to resist ; it

may be an apparently physical derangement behind which
the actual impelling feeling is completely hidden .
This increased contrast between that which appears

externally and the life of impulse in the uncons cious
arises through a handicapping o f natural development .
N ervous man is not capable of harmonizing the many

sidedness of his di sposition with the demands of the sur
rounding world For that reason he suppresses by force
.
wishes and desires which are not consonant with what he

would like to be and this resistance, even in childhood ,
,
keeps the disturbing impulses from developing freely .
For this reason it is the task of analysis to relieve the

,
strain of the suppression so that the stunted impulses may

presently unfold themselves more naturally The ob .
j ect is to smooth ou t a spiritual unevenness and the i n

,
fluence o f the method is directed toward stimulation o f

the repres sed development The nervous on e must so
.
,
to say, recover what he has mis sed in his youth ; he must

live out his suppressed infantili sms in order to win a
,
better poise from the freer counterplay o f forces But .
this is accompli shed in the realm of impulse and there ,
fore in the analytical situation the laws peculiar to it will

govern the significance of which for our psychic life has
,
been revealed in its true light only through psychoanalytic

research .
The essence of analysis lies in the fact that it emphasizes

who is op p osite him becomes an enemy ; and every adult ,
put back on the school -bench directs— like a real pupil

,
compulsorily determined typical emotions toward the

person in the teacher s chair ’
.
The analytical situation shows however by weight of , ,
experiment how unexceptionably rule is binding When

,
.
the nervous one makes up his neglected development

here the most widely di ff erent instinctive emotion s are
,
freed from their repression These impulsive inclina .
tions which pertained to earlier periods of life are now

, ,
o ne after another transferred with almost mechanical
necessity to the anal y st because he is near when they

,
become active I n this way he is not only made a teacher

.
,
but even put into the po sition of a father ; and thus all
that need f or tenderness which the child could not gratify ,
becau se his own father may have remained a stranger to

him attaches it self to him In the sam g way as the
,
.
friendly and erotic emotions all the sentiments of r epul

,
sion which handicapped childhood are transferred to him .
N o matter how many o f these adaptations ari se in the

analytical Situation it always S O happens that the emotion
,
simultaneously confer s on the analyst the qualities

,
s —
hatred the hateful one , love the lovable which are ,
needed to j ustify it Irrespective of who he may actually

.
be he becomes precisely that one whom the other needs

, ,
through the clothing of the emotions which succeed each

other according to rule and which take hold of him ; and
it is on e of the mo st important tasks of analysis to make
these changes conscious N othing shows more emp h ati
.
cally how we unconsciously dream out into the world only ,
to perceive the creations of our outward directed imagina -
tion as the obj ects which our impulsive wishes de sire .
The various impulsive emotions which the analytical

situation arouses are transferred to the analyst not , how
MARR I AGE AS AN ANALY TI C A L S IT UA TI O N 33 3
ever because he is the most accessible person to whom
,
they can cling but rather from a deeper cause The

, .
spiritual obliquity o f nervousness arises in the struggle

with the hostile surrounding world as the result of an
unsuccessful attempt at adaptation I ts sense is defence.
against the inner world as well as against the outer As .
the stutterer sets his defect between him self and mankind ,
of which he is afraid as excessive weakness is often con
,
cealed behind severe harshness an d wilfulness so the ,
nervous symptoms like the exaggerations of the nervous

,
character generally aim to protect secret weakness For

, .
the nervous pers on , his illnes s his outward appearance

, ,
that to which he holds fast in the presence of others is ,
a fortress like a snail s shell , into which he retires in fear

’
of contact with a surrounding world which he feels he

cannot conquer It is this fear this aloofness which has
.
, ,
already hindered his development which must be over ,
come by the on e who wishes t o help him who really ,
wishes to approach him O n that account every attempt

.
to remove the repres sion every step O f the analytical

,
unfolding meets with resistance When analysis dis

, .
entangles the suppres sed development retrogre ss i vely the ,
struggle out o f which it arose i s once more fought out in
the relation to the analyst as the representative of the

opposition .
Thus what happens in the analytical situation is under

,
all circumstances a battle However intensely the nervous

.
person longs for help he is in the end like a wilful child

,
who despairingly defends himself against what he mo st

longs for He su ff ers from this coercive instinctive op
.
position which separates him from the natural community

o f feeling with other human beings The more he retires
.
into the snail —Shell of his i s olation before the suppo sed
menace , the more dangerously does terrified illusion
change its obj ect H e defends himself ultimately against
.
the phantom s o f his imagination Therefore in all the

.
di fl er ent forms o f resistance the same contrast exist s .
L ike the stubborn weeping of the self— willed child every ,
thing exaggerated contradiction and submission comp ul

, ,
sory repression and exuberance o f emotion convulsion ,
and paralysis has a dual significance o f attraction and

,
repulsion at the same time Fighting others he fights

.
,
himself .
The most important of the various forms of resistance

also has the s ame double sense : the erotic misunderstand
ing o f the analytical situation The internal defence is
.
likewi se directed against the desires of the individual

senses ; fear of the questions o f sexuality is therefore the
most serious handicap to natural development When .
analysis frees the sexual emotions from their suppression,

they too are trans ferred to the analyst , thus his proximity
turns into erotic attraction But the more erotic tension
.
becomes an aim in itself the more surely it restrains

,
analytical unfolding The vacillations of a fantastic game

.
of love hinder the progress of liberating knowledge It .
now appears as though the human approach of the helper

would require the closest bodily contact as if a love — union
,
with him could bring deliverance But belo w the decep

.
tive bridge of these desires which cannot be fulfilled the ,
p sychic chasm gapes unchanged , the same undiminished

fear separates love and sen suality A s though physical
.
union would degrade the spiritual ; as though sensual con

tact did not agree with the sentiments of devotion and
adoration which are directed toward the helper ; as if
sensuality were necessarily impure In this way erotic .
,
misunderstanding conceals the most diff i cult problem : in

ward purification the overcoming O f the inner contrast
,
between god and beast , between soul and body It hides .

inward labour is neces sary to achieve a unified personality .
That is never possible without renunciation and thus the ,
more human an individual is the more profound remains ,
his yearning for his other half even where the impulsive ,
forces are harmoniou sly arranged around the determining

pole of sex Intimate contact with the other sex brings
.
therefore the strongest stimulus of life to a development

which has not yet reached the best solution I n the other .
on e who i s that to which unconscious wishes drive

,
the ,
other side of human nature is experienced which conceals ,
f or the adolescent the young man as well as the young

,
woman the necessarily one-sided change to sexual ma

,
tur ity It behooves on e to di scover himself truly in this

.
experience AS the woman becomes a female only through

.
the man so also must the man prove himself as a male

,
through the woman .
But it is di ff erent in those cases where a streak of psychic

obliquity is concealed in masculine or feminine one -sided
ness where suppression hinders natural development
, ,
because fear stands between the two sides and morbidly

enhances the inner contrast Union within the narro w .
space of the married partnership forcing an ever — in cr eas ,
ing r appr och ement o f the on e to the other acts in such ,
cases as an incentive to development which is frequently

j ust as impressive as that which inheres in the analytical
situation For that reason the efl ect ( as far as it is not
.
produced by the deliberate direction of the analyst ) is

essentially the same in the domain of impulsive actions
,
.
Here to o through the slackening of the arti stic balance

, ,
suppressed impulses and neglected infantilisms awake in

order to exercise them selves on the other and the emer g ,
ing instinctive emotions are by the same necessity blindly

transferred to him as the nearest person to whom they
,
can be attached In every stage of development the un

.
MARR I AGE AS AN ANALY TI C A L S IT UA TI O N 33 7
conscious need invests him with the requisite clothing .
S ince the critical control o f the analytical Situation is lack

ing the contradiction between the fantastically changed
,
picture and the a ctuality is here Often much more grotesque .
Even the most good natured and kindest man becomes

-
thus a dread tyrant an energetic clever woman becomes

, ,
a helpless child which must be led step by step simply ,
because it fits into the general character o f j ust this phase

o f development : an unparalleled obj ect -lesson on how the
human mind is bound by impul se , h ow p eculiarly blind

instincts are .
A s in the analytical situation so al so in marriage under

,
all circumstances development i s a struggle O ne defends .
himself by the most various forms of re sistance conscious ,
and infinitely more uncon scious ones against the proximity ,
of the other although like a capricious child one yearns

,
for it at the same time Fundamentally each one su ff ers

.
from loneliness and whatever resistance is shown amounts

,
at the same time to a prayer for liberation from the con

straint o f one s own isolation Above all one defends his
’
.
,
own weakness in resi sting the other S o it is when a .

,
basically all too -weak man complains of the severity and

-
coldnes s o f his wife which has only been produced by his

,
unconscious ( female ) need for masculine firmness in the

other by his displaced passivity Finally in marriage
,
.
, ,
to o resistance grows with proximity

,
The greater the .
intimacy the more conclusively the other becomes the rep

,
r esen tativ e of the rest of the world ; and ultimately the
whole life is lived s olely in relation to the other no mat ,
ter whether the external form is one of attraction or r e

pulsion as the only standard as the sole counter —pole of
, ,
one s own exi stence Yet only a very few know how far
’
.
they are determined in their basic behaviour as in the ,
details of their outward appearance , by their marriage , by

thei r i nst i ncti ve movements o f assimilation or their de
fence against a permanent understanding with the other .
Finally the erotic misunderstanding wh ich marriage so

,
Often inaugurates is common to both forms o f human con

tact This is at once recognizable where , for instance the
.
,
weak-willed man seeks an energetic partner f or himself

in order to become thereby more manly or where a ,
woman whose need for dominance cannot be satisfied by

the part o f the female gives herself in love to a weaker
“ ”
man out Of pity in order to help him It is likewise
, ,
.
active where a particularly strong erotic attraction comes

into being between such contrary types because it is ,
2
strengthened by suppressed unconscious wishes whose ,
“ ”
sudden eruption is frequently the explanation of pass i on
“ ”
or love at first sight What drives human beings to each .
other in this case is in fact that their close approach may

mean to them the most impo rtant stimulus of life in their
handicapped development when they live out their sup ,
p ressed instinctive needs through the other person S o as to
overcome them But the more erotic ten sion becomes

.
an aim in itself the more certainly does it hinder an alyti

,
cal unfolding in opposition to the deeper sense of such a

,
“
development love ”
S till another check presents itself
-
.
next to this one when a marriage has been contracted

through such an attraction It i s only too natural that the .
masculinity o f the husband growing in strength S hould , ,

'
be turned against the now inconvenient energy of the wife ,
j ust as the awakening womanly sentiment of the wife no

longer finds satisfaction in the we ak masculinity of the
'
other, so that the development in both cases is a menace

to the marriage .
2 In th e c a s e o f th e ma n “
f emin i n e o r p iv i th
a ss e, n at o f th e w o ma n
ma s c u i n e l ”
or a c ti v e, th e x
mo s t e tr eme d v l pm t
e e o en s o f w h i c h b eco me
a pp ar ent i n th e ph eno mena o f ma soc h sm i and di m
sa s .
340 H AN S VO N H A TTI N G B ERG
o fensuality and in the same way when we exaggerate
s ,
in the opposite direction and combine the requirement of

ab solute understanding with the desire for love The .
result of such pressing into one another all the way to

complete spiritual amalgamation is constant lust of the
soul which of itself will grow further and further The
,
.
higher the emotion however the sooner every slackening, ,
can bring about the disillusion which demands a new

ecstasy Since only for a moment can on e merge oneself
,
into another But above all through thi s requirement

.
,
“ ”
marriage becomes an analytical situation in the mo st
dangerous sense When the one accompanies every vi .
bration o f the other deflections are reciprocally enhanced, ,
and this give and take Shakes the natural boundaries of

the ego Ultimately on e love s only in s elf defence and
.
-
,
“ ”
the hatred of the sexes blazes up with redoubled vigour
between husband and wife S o thi s mo st concealed erotic .
misunderstanding contains the germ of decay in marriage .
M arriage therefore works analytically primarily in

“ ”
the sense that it Shake s every superficial equipoi se and ,
what this may mean in the individual ca se depends on the

direction of the development Conditions are only seldom .
as favourable as in th e analytical situation for bringing

about this liberation and not on that account alone since , ,
the consciou s guidance of the analyst must be missing .
If both come into motion the one very rarely will be able ,
to serve the other as a fixed pole at which he is to arrive

at an understanding with him self When the two devel .
o men ts do not advance at the s ame tempo their di ff er

p ,
3
ent phases mu st di sturb one another ; an d in thi s way .
with two partners of di ff erent per s onal weightiness the ,
3 In th e sa me d eg r ee as th e too f emi ni n e m a n w o u ld d v l p
e e o hi s
l
ma sc u i ni t y ,
h i s to o ma scul i ne W fei w ould b ecome mo r e w o ma nly .
MARR I AGE As A N ANALY TI C A L S IT UA TI O N 34 1
stronger becomes a handicapping pressure on the weaker ,
who mu st strive to keep pace with him though without ,
being able to follow him Then when the natural rela

.
,
tion of the sexes shifts a struggle for superiority un

,
avoidably arises which the analytical situation meth odi

,
cally eliminates becau se there it is one—sided

, .
This conflict for superiority is accountable for the fact

that development in marriage so Often brings increased
spiritual obliquity instead of liberation M any avoid it in
.
simulated childlikenes s ( which Often goes so far that

the married people talk to each other only in the manner
of Speech o f little children ) and thereby pre serve a toler
able although artificial form of living together although ,
they thereby renounce Spiritual elevation through each

other But only too often this does not succeed If a
. .
nervous person is drawn into this conflict with one more

robust and healthy he will practically always ( as mani
,
fold experience Shows ) be driven only the deeper into his

neurotic i s olation through the increa sing anguish to which
,
the threatening proximity give s rise Under such pres.
sure a disturbance at fir st trifling can develop into a serious

neuro sis— marriage itself becomes a neurosis in the most
unfavourable case because each party doggedly continues
,
his struggle with the other as an end in itself A fight .
fundamentally always about the same question whatever ,
the obj ect o f strife may otherwise be as for example , , ,
points of View toward the world or domestic problems .
O ne su ff ers under this conflict 5 yet in spite of that one

ever and again uncon sciously seeks it with all the keen
ness of the suppressed instincts with all the humiliations
,
of despair Since one must neither win nor be vanqui shed

, ,
yet is p owerless against his own compulsion And all thi s .

,
in order not to be compelled to see that on e is fighting

one self in the other that o n e is dodging the task of seeking
,
a better solution of life by fleeing into t h is struggle and

its isolation .
While thi s form of the neurotic conflict-marriage occurs

only in the most unfavourable ca se wherever the equipoise ,
vacillates becau se analy tical development does not fol

low a straight line a wholly unconscious Hither and Y on
,
i s in action which may be concealed by the most diverse

,
external appearances—often beneath the surface of ap

r en tly harmonious living together Thus when the
p a .
,
disappearance to a certain extent of the nervous depres sed

, ,
condition in the on e and his now bright mood automati

cally produces in the other a downca st feeling which is
beyond his understanding A s though it mattered wh o.
may be the more childlike the weaker a nd the sicker each

, , ,
one unconsciou sly strives to enforce consideration for his

own weakness by exaggerating it as he used to do as a
, ,
child with his parents N o matter wh o from without

.
plays the part of mediator, no matter which presses toward

the other or which o ff ers re si stance in attack or defence ,
ultimately everything is an uncon scious struggle for the
goal of which each must under stand the other , a conflict ,
therefore again for supremacy even to the other end un

, ,
avoidable ; as if the up of the on e and the down of the

“ ”
other were tied by a law Of balance .
III . Th e Way o f An alysi s
O ne can maintain with good cause that all this Hither

and Y on contradict s the sen se of marriage N ot the .
“ ”
development love but only that other less passion
-
,
ate but deeper sentiment o f lasting congeniality and es

teem with which a healthy sensuality is harmoniously
,
united, must be its true basi s Therefore only the mature

.
human beings and the question only remains : What is to ,
be done in order to put the right significance into the de

v el op men t ?
In this we can profit from the experiences o f psycho 5 ,
analysi s In any event it means liberation i f we under

.
,
stand that we s c ek upon the battlefield of marriage a

deci sion which we can find only in ourselve s ; that we
contend against our own weakness and the uncomfortable
ta sk of i nner improvement in contending with the person
nearest to us I n the same way we gain when we learn.
“ ”
from psychoanalysis the many meanings of resistance
and in what multiform external appearances the s ame
occurrence can be veiled O ften it is recognizable only .
5
to the eye of the physician and often it appears in a form ,

“ ”
( as say marital infidelity ) the understanding of which
, ,
must neces sarily cause the partner exceptional difli culties .
It i s here important to hold to the methodological fun da

mental premises O f the analytical situation since the s ame ,
double sense after all underlies all these detours H ow .
5 T h us di b
ner vf hous x l li f ( imp t
s tur a nces i h o t e s e ua e as o ence n t e
h b us d f i gi d i y i h w i f ) f
an or r i ti hi w yn t Th e h ei l o t en a r s e n t s a e t eo r et c a
p i f F dh d b k h di b l
.
i nter r eta t o n o r eu f h m
as tr a ce ac t e s tu r a nc es o u an r e a
i
t on s hip i m si g n p i lly i h fi ar r a e,
g l m x l i v ly
es ec a n t e r st st a es , a o st e c us e
to suc h di b f x l i y W hi l hi i f
s tu r a n ces o se i i j
ua t e t s s o ten tr ue, t s u st a s
f p y h ly i
.
i
c er t a n h i i t at i mi t pi s an er o t c v sc o n c e t on o s c o ana s s
”
to o er
e stim h i mp
a te t e f x li y h
o r ta n c e o x i d d h
se uah t to s uc an e tent, n ee t at t e
b li v h i v y hi g d p d
,
h v
,
i i i
un n t at e m a e co h h
e to e e e t at t tea c es t at
“
e er t n e en s
o n se x l i y T h i x gg i w
ua t
”
v hl s e a yi h er a t o n as ne er t e ess n ec ess a r n t e c on
ly i l p
.
i
t nu ti y f h go t e w hi h w
r ea t an a bj ; d
t ca r o ces s to c e a re su ec t an
t h i
er e n, h h h d ht at g e y i h gh l i
a t e c o ur a h l e to c ar r t t r ou es no t t e ea st
vi f F d S l i y i i ll h w v q i
,
f h i mm
“ ”
o t e l o r ta s er ce o r eu en s u a t s st o e er , u te
lly l k d p i ly l A l h gh m y p p l
.
iv
,
un er s a oo e u on as n ec ess a r un c e a n t ou an eo e
h v v m hi i di i f m l i y w h i h i d y
.
a e o er co e t s nn er c o n tr a ct o n o a or a t c s to a
d v i d f m i g h d i p w hi h w h v m l ly v m i
e o o e an n a an ca c e a e en ta o er c o e s n ot
l m v d i l m f h i i iv I w
,
f or h t at r ea s o n h a on e r e o e n t e r ea o t e n st n ct e t as
y dm h b d w y
.
h f
t er e o r e n ec es s a r im d g ito i e o n s tr a te t e an a a n n t e r oa est a
h w o v y hi g i
e er p y h i l i f h h i gh
t n n o ur h gh s c m i
c e, t e
“
est
”
t ou t s, are ot
v d b y h i mp l i v f
a re t e f h i ;u s m e h or cehi f o t e e r ot c no a tter t at t s o r ce
h as th by ber e d d x l i y If v y hi g
e en un er stoo x li y
as
“
se ua t
”
e er t n is
“
se ua t
”
m k b y w hi h w
.
mp h i
,
“
i uot a t on-
”
h
t en h q t e ar s li ty f ll f c e e a s ze s ens ua a o
h m lv
t e se es .
MARR I AGE As AN ANALY TI C A L S IT UA TI O N 3 45
ever simple the mental translation is made it is difficult ,
and often impo ssible to understand the mirror -writing o f

the un conscious in a vital way, to sense the longing for
inner proximity in the exaggerated defensive attitude o f
another , when on e is moving toward him .
For that reas on one never can become the analyst o f

,
his own partner in marriage since one is not allowed that

,
aloofness which is methodologically created by the an

alytical situation L ove as analysis this inversion of the
.
,
erotic misunderstanding leads j ust as unavoidably to

,
self -disintegration as too much stress on understanding .
O n the other hand we learn from the mistakes which

,
appear with particular clarity in the procedure of the

analyst A nalysis di ff e rs from other means of spiritual
.
influence chiefly through the fact that it does not start

from a predetermined concept o f the direction o f synthe
sis Agreement is the natural thing and this can be
.
,
achieved only through the breaking down of the resist

ance by lifting the internal contradiction in its profound
, ,
senselessness to consciousness Analysi s does not attempt

,
.
to shape actively but takes e ff ect through a patient ev olu

tion When analytical breaking down arouses the fear
.
which caused the suppression when one was solitary the ,
human nearness o f the other helps to overcome it O ut .
of the living personality o f the helper emanates the con

—
structive power not from explanation and instruction
which alone can serve as an incentive to further develop
ment Thus the analytical situation sets a task for the
.
helper which n o on e can fully execute since it exercises ,
his entire human nature and nothing is more natural than

,
that he too should fail The expression of his defence of

.
,
his resistance is theory He becomes dogmatic and doc

, .
tr in air e when he does not kn ow how to extricate himself

in a human way .
To the same extent the arbitrary barrier between hus ,
band and wife hinders a natural unfolding when one ,
holds o ut to the ot h er theoretical requirements as to what

s hould be con sidered truly masculine or feminine as true
love and marital duty Here too one presumption only .
is fruitful : that agreement is the natural thing But each .
alone as his own analyst , can Overcome the resi stance

,
within him self When fear arises one can find help in
.
,
the certainty that the other is j ust as s olitary as himself ,
in the same way that today all conscious human beings

are solitary Beyond this one can help the other through a
.
human closeness o ff ered with patient readiness n ot as a ,
Violent demand .
This attitude Of understanding certainly requires that

one Should fir st of all understand him self and this to ,
many an individual is impo ssible without i nstru ction ,
which can only be O fl er ed b y one who is sufficiently aloof

— a true friend therefore but often a third person whom
, ,
exceptional experience in life or exceptional gifts make

6
capable of j udgment .
E ven more important than all such assistance which ,
can represent no more than a means of help toward self

knowledge is everywhere the analy tical basic attitude that
,
e v er
y cli s tur ha n ce o
f th e m ar i ta l r el a ti on must be regarded
6 An al mo st t er r i fie dy f m l i mi g h h l p
r eti c enc e p v re ent s ma n ro c a n s uc e
v ym m p w i h h i m l f O ly w h h i
,
”
is nc e e er an u st c o e h t se n en t er e s no ot er
di i h b d v l p d h p i f
.
r eso r t,wh h i en tl e nt er n a c o ntr a ct on as een e e o e to t e o nt o
n er v di b
o us d
stur a nc e,
g h d i k m
o es o n e i d o to t e o c to r as a
“
s c
”
an, n or er
to l d h
oa i p i b i l i y p hi m B j
t e ent r e r es ons g l vl i t u on ut us t a s en er a e o ut o n
f h p hy i i
.
p h h
us es k d pp
t e ta s s a n i i o v f h i h
o r tun t es o t e s c an e er ur t er n t e
d i i f d i l d p i i l iv i y
r ec t on o e uc at on a d h p
an f
S r tu a a ct t so un er t e r es su r e o
g w i g d i ffi l i d i pp d y i d v id f
,
ro n h i
c u t es t whi h
at r et c en ce sa ear s c to a s e o o
m i g h
ea n n id f h i d ivi d
t e r es l i i x gg i w h i h h d l f
ue o t e n ua st c e a er a t o n c a e t
h p i i ly him l f I b p ly h i l q i
,
t e a t en t ent r e m
to se t eco es a ur e t ec n c a uest on ,
b h f h i ifi k w l
.
as h g wi g i
t e ro i n h v i n t er est n t e a r o us r a nc es o t e s c en t c no
ed g f m ki d p v ( ph y i g my g p h l gy d b v l l p y
e o an n ro es s o no ra o o an a o e a s
p mi lf b h lp d i d v
, ,
ch ly i ) w h h
o a na s s et er o ne er ts o n es e to e e e n or er to o er
l d iffi l i h m q i kly
,
co m i e nter n a c u t es t e or e u c .
M a rri a ge as a P sycho lo gi c a l Rela tio n ship
as a psychological relationship marriage is the

IEW E D
V
,
most complicated Of structures It is comp osed of .
a whole series o f subj ective and obj ective data very heter ,
ogeneous in nature A s in my contribution to this book I

.
wi sh to limit myself to the psychological problem of mar

r i age, the greater part Of the obj ective data o f a legal and
social character mu st be excluded although these facts ,
greatly influence the psychological relationship o f the

mates .
“ ”
Wherever we Speak of psychological relationship we ,
presuppose c on sci ousn ess N O psychological relationship

.
can exist between two persons in a state of unconsciousnes s .
From the p sychological standpoint they would be with ,
o ut any relationship at all S ome other relationship

.
might exist between them for instance a psychological

, ,
o n e ; but thi s relation could not be termed psycholo ical

g .
Complete unconsciousness to the degree we have assumed

does not exi st but partial unconsciousness o f a not insig
,
n i fican t degree does exist The p sychological relationship

.
is limited in the degree to which this unconsciousness ex

i sts .
In the child consciousness rises out of the depths of un

,
conscious mental life , beginning like separate islands

which by degrees unite themselves to a continent to con ,
n ected consciousness The gradual process of mental de

.
v el op men t means expansi on of c onsci ousn ess With the .
3 48
MARRI AG E AS A P SY C H O L OG I C AL RE LA T I O N S H I P 3 49
birth of connected consciousness a psychological relation
ship becomes p ossible Consciousness as far as we under
.
,
stand it invariably means ego consciousness To be con

,
-
.
scious of myself I must be able to make the distinction

,
between myself and others O nly where thi s di stinction .
exi sts is a relationship possible This general distinction .
is always made but normally it is incomplete because

, ,
there are very wide ranges of mental life that are un

conscious . Unconscious substances cannot be distin
u i sh ed ; therefore n o relationship can be established in
g
their sphere : in their range the original unconscious state
o f a pr i mi ti v e i d enti ty of the ego with the other still
prevails ; that is to say there is no relationship at all

, .
The young person at the marriageable age h as an ego

consciou sness ( which is more true generally speaking of , ,
girls than of young men ) but it has not long risen out o f
,
the midst Of the primitive state of unconsciousnes s .
Therefore , there are wide ranges yet shadowed by um

consciou sness and these as far as they go make it im
, , ,
po ssible to establish a psychological relationship This .
practically means that a younger person has but an in

complete knowledge o f the other as well as himself and , ,
therefore will not be sufliciently aware of h is own motives

and those of the other A s a rule he acts chiefly upon
.
,
unconscious motives O f course he subj ectively imagines

.
,
himself exceedingly conscious for one always overrates ,
the substance o f the momentary state of one s conscious ’
ness and it is always a great and surprising di scovery to

,
learn that what we imagined a summit achieved at last is ,
in reality only the lowest step of a very long stair The

,
.
wider the range of unconsciousness the les s is marriage ,
the resul t of free choice ; subj ectively this may be ob

served in the very noticeable compulsory fatali ty o f love .
35 0 C . G J UN G
.
Where there is n o infatuation compulsion may yet exi st , ,
but in a less agreeable form .
The unconscious motives are of a personal and a gen

eral nature In the fir st instance, they are motives origi
.
nating from parental influence There the young man s .

’
relation to his mother and the young girl s relation to her ’
father is determinative In the first place the relation ship

.
to the parents unconsciou sly influences advancing or im ,
p ed i ng the choice o f a mate

,
A consciou s love o f father
.
or mother promotes the choice o f a mate resembling that

father or that mother while an unconscious link ( which
,
need not consciously be manifested as love ) makes

such a choice difli cult and leads to curious modifications .
This cannot be understood before we know where the

unconscious link with the parents originated and under
what circumstances it will bring about in an imperative ,
way modifications o f conscious choice or even prevent the

, ,
choice As a r ule a ll th at w as ar tifici a lly r epr essed in

.
,
th e p a r ents is tr ansmi tted t o th e ch i l dr en in a p er ver ted

f or m ; that is,
the children are unconsciously forced into
a line of life that compensates what was left unfulfilled
in the life of their parents That is why over— moral.
parents have so called immoral children 5 why an irre

-
spon sible and idle father has a morbidly ambitious son ,
etc The worst consequences have their source in the ar ti

.
ci a l un c ons ci ousn ess o f the parents For instance a

fi , .
mother who closes her consciousness so as not to destroy

the appearance of a happy marriage unconsciously attaches
her son to herself as a compensation for her husband .
Thi s drive s the son, if not directly into h omosexuality ,
at lea st into modifications of his choice which really do

not suit his character For instance he will marry a girl
.
,
manifestly not equal to his mother who consequently can ,
not compete with the latter or will fall into the hands ,
35 2 C . G JUNG
.
p a r ently equally Valued experience This state o f th i ngs

.
is termed complete harmony and is j ustly we may say , ,

“
called a great happiness ( one heart and one for
the return to that instinctive state o f unconsciousness and
unconscious unity is like a return to childhood ( notice the
childish behaviour o f all lover s ) : one may even say it is
like a return into the mother s womb , into the immensity
’
of the promi ses o f a yet unconscious creative wholeness .
It is indeed a real and undeniable experience of godhead ,
whose overwhelming power efl aces all that is individual .
It is a true communion with life and impersonal fate .
—
S elf will bent on self is broken : the woman becomes a
, ,
mother the man a father and thus both lo se their liberty

, ,
a n d become mere in struments of progre ssive life .
Such a relationship keeps within the limits o f the bio

logically instinctive purpo se o f generic propagation A s .
this purpose is of a collective nature, the psychological r e a
l ati on s o f the mates are in the main of a collective nature

and cannot p sychologically be termed an indi vidua l r ela
ti onsh ip This can exist only where the nature o f the
.
uncon scious motives is under stood and the original iden

tity is super seded A marriage rarely or never develops
.
into an individual relationship without a cri si s There is .
no coming into consciousness without p ain There are .
many ways to consciousness but all these are subj ected

,
to certain general laws AS a rule , the change begins

.
with the s ec ond h alf of life The middle of life is a .
period of the highest p sy chological importance The .
child begins its psychological life in the narrow sphere of

the mother and the family The horizon and the sphere
.
o f personal influence grow wider with the progres s of its
development Hope and desire will aim at the expan sion

.
of the sphere o f personal p ower and property ; desire

stretches out into the world The will of the individual
.
MARR I AGE As A P SY C H O L OG I C AL RE LA TI O N S HI P 35 3
grows increasingly identical with the natural purposes of
unconscious motives Thus man breathes life into things
.
until they begin to live their own life and multiply ; and
imperceptibly they overtake him M other s are super .
seded by their children , men by their creation s and what

;
was brought into exi stence by immense efl or t cannot be
’
stopped in its course and growth What was originally .
passion becomes an Obligation and finally an in sup p or t

,
able burden a vampire sucking the life of its creator

, .
The middle of life is the moment o f greatest expansion ,
when man sets to his work with all his strength and will .
But this very moment brings forth the eve ; the second
half o f life sets in P assion changes its face and becomes
.
duty ; choice grows into implacable necessity ; and the

windings o f the road which formerly signified surprise and
discovery become habitual The wine has ceased fer
.
men ting and is beginning to clear I f all is well man .

,
develops conservative inclinations Instead of looking .
forward he involuntarily looks back and begins to ac

,
count to himself for the course o f his life up to that

date He tries to find his true motives and thus make s
.
,
discoveries M an learns to know his own peculiarity

.
through a critical consideration o f himself and his destiny .
But his knowledge does not come to him easily O nly .
Violent S hocks lead to such realizations By persi sting too .
long in the youthful attitude a divi sion of will arises b e

, ,
cause the aims Of the second half of life are di ff erent

from those of the first Consciousness presses onward
.
,
following as it were its own inertia ; but the unconscious

restrains for strength and will can expand no more This
,
.
divi sion within himself breeds discontent and not being , ,
conscious of his own state he usually seeks for the cau se s

,
in his mate A critical atmo sphere is the consequence ; but

.
this is a necessary condition if consciousness is to ensue

,
.
35 4 C . G .
'
JU N G
A s a rule this state does not appear simultaneously in
,
both mates The best of marriages cannot do away with

.
individual di ff erences to the point that the mates should

be in the same state simultaneously G enerally the one .
,
will more ea sily be reconciled to marriage than the other .
A positive relationship to one s parents will make adapta ’
tion to the mate very easy while a deep rooted uncon ,

-
scious link with the parents will prove an impediment to

adaptation In thi s case full adaptation will be arrived
.
,
at later and as it was attained with greater difli culty, it

,
may prove more enduring Discr ep anci es i n temp o on .

,
the on e side and the r ange of th e m enta l p er s onali ty on

, ,
the other produce the typical difli culty which exhibits

, ,
its full force at the cr itical moment .
I do not wish to leave the impression that by a great

range of mental personalit y I always mean particularly
”
rich or big natures Th is is not the case I mean rather. .
a certain intricacy of mental structure a stone with many , ,
facets as compared to a simple cube They are many

,
.
sided natures as a rule problematic burdened with h e

, ,
r editar y units which are hard to reconcile A daptation to .
such natures and their adaptation to simpler natures will

always be difficult P ersons with such somewhat disasso
.
ciated natures generally have the gift o f splitting o ff
incompatible habits of character for some length o f time ,
and thus apparently becoming simple ; or else their ver

sati li ty their changeful character may prove their special
, ,
charm The other may ea sily lose himself in such some

.
what mazy nature s ; that is to say he finds so many p os si ,
b il iti es o f experience i n them that his personal interest is

fully emplo y ed It may not always be in an agreeable
.
way for he will Often be occupied in tracing the other

,
through all manner o f deviations N evertheless so many .

,
exp eriences are p ossible that the simpler personality is

35 6 C . G JUNG
.
O n the complicated nature the simpler ,

has the on e
effect o f a small room wh ich gives him too little space

,
.
The complicated nature on the contrary, o ff ers the simple

,
too many rooms with too much space , so that he never

knows where he belongs S o the natural consequence
.
is that the more complicated nature contains the simpler .
It surrounds it but cannot itself be absorbed and sur

,
rounded Y et it may have an even greater need o f being

.
surrounded ; it feels thu s outside of marriage and at

times plays the problematic part The more the contained.
clings the more the containing feel s him self forced out
,
.
By clinging the former penetrates into him ; yet the

,
more he does so the less can the other do the same The
,
.
container is therefore alway s to a greater or less degree

looking out of the window though he does so as first un
,
consciously But when the middle of life is reached a

.
,
greater longing ari ses i n him for that unity and undivided
ness so nece ssary to him according to his di sassociated
nature ; and it is generally then that things happen to make
him aware of the conflict He becomes conscious of the
.
fact that he is seeking a completion that he has always ,
failed to be contained and undivided To the contained .
thi s event at first mean s the confi rmation of the insecurity

which he had always painfully felt ; he finds other un
welcome guests living in the rooms that seemed to belong
to him .The hope of security fades away and this dis ,
appointment forces him back upon himself unless by des ,
perate and Violent e ff orts he succeeds in forcing the other

to the confession and conviction that his longing for unity
i s nothing but a childish or morbid fancy Yet if this .
act o f violence does not succeed resignation brings him ,
on e great gift : that is the knowledge that he must find in

,
him self the security he was always looking for in the

other He thus learns to find himself and to discover in
.
MARR I AGE AS A P SY C H O L OG I C AL RE LA TI O N S HI P 35 7
his own S i mple nature all those intricacies which the con
tainer vainly sought in him I f the container doe s not
.
break down in recognizing what is generally called a

mistake i n marriage but keeps on believing in the inner
,
j ustification o f his longing for unity he will begin by ,
taking the severance on himself A disas sociation cannot

.
be healed by splitting o ff but only by severance All

, .
the forces aiming at unity all the healthy will to oneself

,
- -
,
will resi st severance ; and he will gro w conscious that the

unification he was always seeking without is possible with
in him He eventually fin ds the gift Of undividedne ss in
.
himself .
This is what very often happens at the height of life ,
and the curious nature o f man thus enforces that transi

tion from the first into the second half of life the trans ,
formation from a state in which man is only instrumental

to his instinctive nature into that other state where no ,
longer an instrument he really becomes himself ; a change

,
from nature to culture , from instinct to intellect .
O ne should be careful not to interrupt this necessary

development by moral Violence for any mental attitude ,
resulting from the S plitting o f f or repression of in stincts

is a falsification There is nothing so di sgu sting a s an
.
intellect that is covertly sex ualized ; it i s j u st as impure

as an over — prized sensuality But the transition is a long
.
road and may become mired on the way If as is the

,
.
,
case with the primitives it were p ossible to let all thi s

,
mental development in marriage and by marriage remain

unconscious this transformation would be accomplished
,
far more e ff ectually and without so great a conflict .
A mong the so—called primi tives one meets with spiritual

,
personalities which inspire one with reverence as perfect ,
and mature productions o f an undisturbed destiny I am .
speaking from p ersonal exp erience But where among .

,
35 8 C . G JUNG
.
modern E uropeans are there such figures uncrippled by

,
moral violence ? We are barbaric enough ; we now b e

lieve in asceticism and its opposite Y et the wheel o f
.
histor y cannot be turned back We only can press forward

.
toward the attitude which will permit us to live as the

undisturbed de stiny of primitive man really intends us to
live Then only will it be po ssible not to pervert intellect
.
into sensuality and sensuality into intellect for both must ,
live and the one derives its life from the other
, .
This transformation sketched here in a f ew lines is

, ,
the essential part of the psych ological relationship in mar

r i age .M uch more might be said o f the illusions that
fo ster the purpo ses of N ature and help to bring forth th e
transformation characteristic o f the middle O f life The .
harmony of marriage prevalent in the first half of life

( if such an adaptation was ever realized ) is essentially
founded on proj ections o f certain typical images ( as is
proved later during the critical phase ) .
E v er y man hear s i n hi s h ear t th e i mage of w oman not ,
the image of this particular woman but of one particular

,
woman This image is in reality an unconscious primeval

.
inheritance engraved on the living s y stem a type

,
“ ”
,
( archetype ) o f every ance stral experience of woman the ,
residue of all impressions left by women a hereditary ,
psychic sy stem of adaptation If there were no women

.
,
this unconscious image would make it p os sible to describe

what a woman spiritually should be The same applies
.
to woman ; S h e too has an inborn image of man ( Exp er i .
ence teaches us that we ought to say : an image o f men ;

while man has more the image o f the mate in one
woman ) A s this image i s unconscious it i s always un
.
,
consciously proj ected onto the beloved figure and is one

of the e ssential causes of passionate attraction or the con
tr ar y . I have called this image anima I think the .
6
3 0 C . G JUN G
.
pieces of many unexp ressed things He must also be a .
little m i sunderstood ; he must at any rate be in some sort

of opposition to the surrounding world so that the idea o f ,
sacrifice can enter He must be an equivocal hero with

.
many possibilities ; and it is very probable that proj ection s

O f the animus may often have found out a real hero much
sooner than the slow insight of so—called intelligent com

monp l ace people
2
In so far as they are containers the
.
,
realization of thi s image marks a momentous event to the

man and the woman for here the possibility has come o f
,
finding one s own intricacies answered by corresponding

’
multiformity Here seem to open those wide expan ses

.
where one may feel surrounded and contained I ex .
pres sly say seem for it is an ambiguou s possibility A

“ ”
, .
man may create a f emme inspir atr i ce by the proj ection of

the anima j u st as a woman may really find out a di stin
,
g u i sh ed man as yet unrecognized by the multitude or ,
more than that may even help him to h is real destiny by

,
her moral assistance But more often it will have proved

.
an illu sion o f destructive consequences It will prove .
unsucce ssful because faith was not strong enough I must .
tell pessimists that there are very real virtues in these

p sychic archet ypes ; yet optimists must be warned again st
dazzling fancies and the p ossibility of exceedingly absurd
mistakes .
This proj ection must not however be understood as , ,
an individual or conscious relationship It is nothing of .
the kind It produces a compulsory dependence on the

.
basis o f uncon sciou s motives that are not of a biological

nature In R ider Haggard s S h e is shown the curious
.
’
world o f ideas that originate these proj ections of the

2 Fo r f ai r l gooy dd pesc r i ti o n s o f th e a n i mu , s ee
s M ar
’
y y
Ha s T he Ev il
W yl i
i e s Jenn f er L or n a nd S elma L a g er of s G b s ta l
.
’
Vi n ey a r d , E li no r
’ '
B er li ng.
M ARR I AGE A P SY C H O LOG I C AL ELA TI O N S HI P
As R
36 1
anima E ssentially they are mental images Often in
.
,
erotic disgui se and clearly parts of a primitive myth o

,
logical mentality which consists in archetypes ; and in

their totality represent th e so-called c ollective uncon
sci ous . A ccordingly such a relation ship is in reality col
,
l ective and not individual

, ( Benoi t , who in his L At.
’
la ntid e created an imaginary figure corresponding to S h e

even in details denies any plagiarism of R ider Haggard )
, .
I f such a proj ection occurs to on e of the two mate s ,
then a collective mental relationship faces the collective

biological relationship and produces the above mentioned -
s everance Of the container If he succeeds in escaping .
submersion h e will find himself j ust through this conflict

, .
In this case the dangerous proj ection will have helped

,
him to pass from a collective into an individual relation

ship This is equivalent to a full consciousne ss of the
.
marriage relationship A s the purpose of this essay is the

.
di scussion of the psychology of marriage the psychology ,
o f the proj ective relation ship does not come into con si d
er ati on It is sufli cien t to mention it as a fact

. .
It is hardly p ossible to Speak of the psychological r e

l ati on ship in marriage without at least alluding to the
nature o f its critical transitional states even at the risk ,
of being misunderstood It is well known that psycho .

,
logically on e understands nothing that one has not one

,
self experienced This fact does not prevent any one

.
from being persuaded that his own j udgment is the only

real and competent one This strange fact is the result .
o f the necessary overrating o f the actual contents of one s

’
consciousne ss Without this concentration of attention

.
,
on e could not be conscious at all Thu s it is that every .
epoch o f life has its own psychological truth its program ,
matic truth as it were ; and the same applies to every

,
stage of development There are many such stages and .

,
3 6 2 C . G JUNG
.
even stages that only few arrive at—a question of race ,
family education gifts and passion N ature is aristo

, , ,
.
“ ”
cratic The normal man is a fiction although certain
.
,
general laws do exist M ental and spiritual life mean s a

.
development which may be arrested at the lowest stage .
A s though every individuality had its specific gravity it ,
rises or sinks to the stage where it finds its limit Its .
insight and convictions are fashioned accordingly L ittle .
wonder then that the greater number o f all marriage s

, ,
reach their p sychological limit with the biological purpose ,
without damage to mental or moral health It is only .
a few who become involved in any deeper dividedness

within themselves Where there is much external mi sery
.
,
the conflict is w ithout dramatic ten sion for want of energy .
But psychological in security increa ses with social securit y ,
unconsciously in the fir st instance and cau ses neurosis ; ,
then con sciously and causes separations arguments di

, , ,
v or ces and other failure s in marriage

,
In still higher .
stages new po ssibilities o f psychological development

,
open up ; these touch the religious sphere where critical ,
j udgment is at an end In all these stages there may be

.
a complete standstill without the least consciousness of

what might happen in another stage of development .
A s a rule the access to even the next stage is barred by

,
the mo st violent prej udices and superstitious fears ; and

very appropriately so for a person who feels induced to
,
live on a p lane too high for him becomes a dangerous

fool .
N ature is not only ari stocratic ; it is esoteric Yet no .
wise man will thereby be induced to be silent about what

he knows for he realizes only too well that the secret of
,
mental development can never be revealed Simply b e ,
cause development is a question o f individual capacity .

3 64 A L F RED ADLER
cord of his act with the exigencies of evolution can Vin
dicate him He creates for the community and for
.
posterity even if in so doing he considers only his own

,
well — being even if he is determined to act against the

,
community and against the future .
Can any on e recall an action a deed which could be , ,
termed beautiful great noble for any other reason than

, , ,
because it was helpful to society to the future progres s of ,
humanity ? D oes not every one bear the measure for such
evaluation within himself ? Is there a man in the com
p l e te possession of h i s sense s wh o cann o t dis criminate b e
tween good and evil ?

The point of View in an examination of all human rela
ti on ship s and in stitutions is consequently determined .
Value and correctness are first and foremo st conditioned

“ ”
a n d dependent on their suitability to the whole I f there .
i s much about this which is controver sial for thought a —

contradiction of the logic O f the fact s will always make
itself felt It appears even though nobody comprehends
.
its connection The quicknes s with which we human b e

.
ings raise accusations spares us most o f the time the trouble

of examining the connections L ikewise the fact that er .
ror and its consequences al w ays lie far apart makes insight
difficult and hardly permits of fruitful experiences for the
individual and for p osterity The thousandfold exp er i.
ence o f the many appears to yield it self with diffi culty to

the contemplation o f the one Thus life rolls on from .
generation to generation without creating lasting tradi

,
tions A nd each individual still takes pride in using his

.
own poor knowledge Often capriciously in the upbuild

, ,
ing of associations of momentous importance for life not —

caring that he is repeating thousandfold errors and seeking
aims which destroy the happiness of his own life and an
other s ’
.
MAR RI AGE As A TA S K 3 65
The destiny o f —
earth man is knotted in three ways .
His body and his soul cling to M ot her E arth to cosmic ,
and mundane necessities ; they are educated in these and

seek, with ever -renewed strength , adj u stment and adap
tati on , a living harmony with the laws of N ature Cul .
ture and hygiene of the body and spirit originate in thi s

compulsion To it all beauty owes its powerful allure
.
.
“ ” “ —
In the concept M an the Fellow M an is inextr i ”
,
eably included .A ll the prerequisites o f his ph y sical and

mental development lie in the co mmunity and are created
and wax great according to its necessities S peech reason .
, ,
culture ethics religion nationality statehood are social

, , , , ,
products a n d take e ff ect in particular ca ses as precipitates

of the community In all these life forms there lies a
.
-
potent reflection o f the presence of earth , strong and in

exorable as in the compul sion to unity The destiny of
,
.
man cannot unfold itself apart from these premi ses The .
third premise is dual sexuality But the quest of the sexes

.
,
perhaps eons ago mainly impulsive aspires to a form ,
which obviates conflict with these conditions In the har .
mon i ous development of the erotic there is j ust as much

impulse as communal sentiment A nd in the bli ss—giving .
ecstasy o f lovers a similarly bli ss giving power of crea

,
-
tion unfolds at the same time , willingly paying homage to

s
.
—
and afli r min g earthly life I f on e view the love life of
man from this standpoint on e perceives that it is filled
,
with laws of its own which do not j ust happen and which
are not to be circumvented without the gravest obj ection s .
The logic o f facts is cruel much more cruel than we hu

,
man beings We should gladly be inclined to be lenient

.
.
And we do n ot appear as advocates of harsh revenge if ,
we demonstrate the inexorability of govern i ng forces .
O ur task is only to warn to mitigate hard consequences to

, ,
show to the present and to the future generation connected

3 66 A L F RED ADLE R
facts which otherwise might be entered in the books not as
consequences but as isolated fatal incidents
,
.
O ur present existence shows us the point of transition

to a further development of humanity This fact weighs .
so heavily on our life process that without our havin g

-
,
to notice the fact , our love relation ships are formed wit h
-
a View to e ternity The frequently excessive value which

.
we place on beauty has for the future a significance of

health and of increased adaptation The loyalty and .
probity which we crave the interpenetration of two soul s

,
toward which we strive arise from our urgent longing for

,
a stronger feeling of community ; it is the same way with

the de sire for children attachment to whom reflect s the
,
ideal of community and who at the same time repre sent

for us an earne st of eternity L oyalty and truthfulness .
,
above all reliability the foundation s of human com

, ,
munity certainly p oint toward the future o f human

,
morals and toward aims in the education of children .
That in the situation of love and marriage all these

claims meet are concentrated there and become binding
,
laws is only t o be grasped mentally from the indissoluble

,
connection o f historic and organic development A lso .

,
every wilful and erroneous departure vibrates afterward

in the entire system of the relationships of life and im
pairs favourable tendencies in evolution Damaging fac .
tors of inheritance take e ff ect whether or not science has

elucidated them Incest falls under the interdict o f com
.
mun al sentiment since it leads like the marriages o f

, ,
blood relatives to isolation and n ot to that mingling of

, ,
strains which furthers the community and since the ,
hereditary endowment can thereby more ea sily be influ

enced unfavourably than by a two-sided organic burden .
Also that courageous gaze hopefully directed toward the

, ,
future, which is indispensable to meet all the di fficulties

3 68 AL F R ED A DLE R
often erotic rej ection polygamous inclinations and un
, ,
faithfulnes s as well as nervous indi spo sition s come to

, ,
the aid of self love i n defending the position of one s own

- ’
arrogance of power The man through a long outworn

.
,
-
common tradition, p osses ses a slight advantage which he

attempts to preserve selfi shly but to his own detriment
, .
For him who shares our point of View the master of the ,
family is a thing of the past He sees marriage as a dual .
ity in which both parties make a united e fl or t to perform a

common task, not on the line of their own will but accord
ing to all laws inherent in their problem The organic .
and hi storic development of humanity toward a readiness

for monogamous marriage especially when on e includes in
,
this View the unique p ossibilities of the fulfilment of the

mo st precious erotic expectations is sufli cient security that ,
'
every one should be able to perform this task M arriage .
i s always under stood as a creation of the communal senti

ment as the s ocial form o f love —life as the safeguard and
, ,
“
first school o f children i n their evolution toward the fel
”
low man
-
. O ff thi s road lie marriages of convention ,
financial or speculative unions the course o f which always ,
goes on slippery ground For the union of the parents.
must serve as an example to the children as well since ,
otherwi se Often in Spite o f their better knowledge and

,
higher endeavour they carry the bad tradition i nto their

,
new home Lust o f domination or hardness in the father

.
can terrify girls to such an extent that later on they dis

trustfully watch and mi sinterpret every step of their hus
bands ; but it may also fill them with a s harpened need
of warmth which mu st remain forever bey ond satisf ac
,
tion on this earth It may unfit them for matrimony or

.
for the education o f children because they have lost ,
their belief in themselves S ons of hard mothers fly .

MA RR I AGE AS A T AS K 3 69
from women and are shy o f society This arises from a .
hitherto imperfectly under stood function of the mother :

to teach the child to understand boundless trustworthines s ,
and to make herself an example o f noble womanhood .
Again mothers darlings cannot give Instead of desiring

,
’
.
the friendly sense of community they look for maternal

,
kindness which has its rightful place in life exclusivelv

,
in the period o f childhood The choice of older matern a

. l ,
wives has its foundation chiefly in thi s error .
P olygamous inclinations perver sions and predi lections

, ,
for morally l ow people and prostitutes are always explain

able through their tendency to eliminate and to debase the
more suitable partner and therefore through the fear of
,
not being able to stand up before the other sex In what .
great measure the sense and the task o f love and marriage
are thus missed one can see from the gro w ing prevalence
,
of sexual diseases Whatever their origin may have been

.
,
their S pread is solely due to the misuse and aberration of

eroticism There exists on e remedy only on e protection
.
,
against these plagues : mutual love .
The connection o f marriage with the most important

necessities o f society gives us to understand that it is not ,
as most people believe a private concern The whole na

,
.
tion the whole of humanity takes part in it And each

, ,
.
person who enters into marriage thereby fulfils even if he ,
is quite unaware o f it a mission Of the whole A mong the

,
.
most imp ortant requirements for the conclu sion of a mar

r iage are therefore a vocation and a livelihood in which
both can participate and which insures the support of the

family The vocation , too is a demand of society co
.
, ,
operation in production The contribution to the preserva

.
tion of humanity is Similarly not a private a ffair and ,
must be furthered through marriage Likewise the work .

,
3 70 A L F RED ADLE R
of the housewife at present mistakenly held to be inferior,
,
can create real values if through good management or

,
arti stic enhancement she can increase the man s capacity ’
for labour Invoking economic difficulties for the purpose

.
of refu sing marriage is Often a sub terfuge of the faint

hearted .
It is a widely circulated superstition that marriage can

also cure evil negligence and sickness L ove and mar
, , .
r i age are not remedies In most such cases one only cre
.
,
ates new inj uries without removing the old The same .
error p revails in regard to the curative power of preg

nancy The marriage question like all other problems o f
.
,
life, must be answered out of strength not out of weak ,
ness .
M arriage is also menaced by disaster if people wh o

wed look on them selves as martyrs Unavoidably they .
will let the other feel this and cheat him incessantly out
o f his happy sentiments Flaws in the marital relation
.
,
neglect , coldness and infidelity are the frequent results

, ,
.
The goal o f marriage that o f each participating in the

,
happiness o f the other is thus often destroyed at the b e

,
ginning For marriage is not a constructed edifice which

.
one approaches not a destiny which one goes forward to

,
meet , but a problem o f the present and the future , a cre

ative performance in time whi ch is rapidly flying a task of ,
building social values into the nothingness of the future .
A lways one will find in marriage only that which on e has

created in it .
We have so far enumerated essential main premises

which must provide the basis of a firm and enduring mar
r i age We fear lest in the pres sure of the everyday some
.
of these necessities may too readily drop from memory .
It seems to us desirable to look for a briefer formula

which in spite o f its conciseness will embrace all prob
, ,
37 2 AL F RED ADLER
life in society Whoever falls in their way is their cho sen
.
obj ect They must be wrecked in marriage, since they

.
lack the spiritual organs of social existence

.
But marriage as a task aims at the right ordering of

the claims o f community, o f vocation, and of eroticism.
H A V E L O C K E L L I S
Lo v e as an Ar t
TH E primary end of marriage is to beget and bear

o ff spring and to rear them until they are able to
,
take care of themselves O n that basis man is at one with

.
all the mammals and most o f the birds I f indeed we .

, ,
disregard the originally les s e ssential part of thi s end

that is to say the care and tending
,
o f —
the young thi s
end of marriage is not only the primary but u sually the
s ole end of sexual intercourse in the whole mammal
w orld. A s a natural instinct its achievement involves
,
gratification and well —being but this bait o f gratification

,
is merely a device of N ature s and not in itself an end

’
having any u seful function at the periods when con cep

tion is not p o ssible This is clearly indicated by the fact
.
that among animals the female only experiences sexual

desire at the season o f impregnation and that desire cease s
,
as soon as impregnation takes place though this is true

,
of the male in only a few species obviously becau se if

, ,
his sexual desire and aptitude we re confined to so brief

a period the chances of the female meeting the right
,
male at the right moment would be too seriou sly

dimini shed so that the attentive and inqui sitive attitude
,
—
of the male ani mal toward the female which we may
often think we see still traceable in the human species is—
not the outcome of lustfulness for personal gratification ,
but is implanted by N ature for the benefit of the female

and the attainment of the pr i mary obj ect of procreation .
3 73
3 74
'
H AVE LO C K E L L I S
Th i s primary obj ect we may term the animal end o f mar
r i a ge .
Th i s obj ect remains not only the primary but even the ,
sole end of marriage among th e lower race s of mankind

generally T h e erotic idea in i ts deeper s ense that is to
.
,
say the element of love

,
aro se very slow ly in mankind ,
.
It is found it is true among s ome low er races a nd it

, , ,
appears that s ome tribes p ossess a word for the j o y of

love in a purely p sychic sense But even among E uro .
pean races the evolution was late The G reek p oet s .

,
except the latest sho w ed little recognition of love as an

,
element of marriage T h eognis compared marriage wit h .
cattle breeding The R omans of the R epublic took mu ch

-
.
the same View G reeks and R oman s alike regarded.
breeding as the one recognizable obj ect of marriage ; any

other obj ect was mere wantonness and had better they ,
thought be pur sued out side marriage R eligion which

,
.
,
pre serve s so many ancient and primitive conceptions of

life has con se crated thi s conception al so ; and Chri stianity
,
at the out set onl y o ff ered the choice between celibacy on

the one hand and on the other marriage for the produc
, ,
tion of offspring .
Yet from an early period in human hi story a secondary ,
function of sexual intercour se had been slowly growing

up to become on e of the great obj ects of marriage .
A mong animal s it may be said and even s ometimes in

, ,
man the sexual impul se wh en once arou sed makes but

, , ,
a Short and swift circuit through the brain to reach its

c on summation But as the brain and its facultie s develop
.
,
powerfull y aided indeed by the very di ffi cultie s of the

s exual life the impul s e for s exual union has to traver s e
,
ever longer slower more painful paths before it reaches

, ,
—and sometimes it never reaches— its ultimate obj e ct .
This means that sex gradually becomes i ntertwined with

376 H AVE LO C K E L L I S
include not only all that makes love a gracious and beau
tiful erotic art but the whole element of pleasure in so
, ,
far as pleasure is more than a mere animal gratification .
O ur ancient a scetic traditions Often make us blind to the

meaning o f pleasure We see only its pos sibilities of evil
.
,
and not its mightiness for good We forget that as .

,
R omain R olland says Joy is as holy as pain

“
,
”
N 0 one .
has insisted so much on the supreme importance o f the

element of pleasure in the spiritual end of sex as James
Hinton R ightly used he declares pleasure is the child
.
“
, ,
o f G od ,
”
to be recognized as a mighty storehouse o f
“
”
force ; and he pointed out the significant fact that in the
course of human progress its importance increase s rather
than diminishes While it is perfectly true that sexual
.
energy may be in large degree arrested and transformed ,
into intellectual and moral forces yet it is al s o true that ,
pleasure it self and above all sexual pleasure wisel y used

, , ,
and not abused may prove the stimulus and liberator of

,
our finest and most exalted activities It i s largely this .
remarkable function of sexual pleasure which is deci sive

in settling the argument of those who claim that con
tin en ce is the only alternative to the animal end of mar
r iage. That argument ignores the liberating and har
m on iz ing influences giving whole s ome balance and sanity
,
to the wh ole organism imparted b y a sexual union which

,
i s the outcome o f the ps y chic as well as phys i cal needs .
There is further in the attainment o f the spiritual end

, ,
o f marriage much more than the benefit of each individual

,
separately There is that is to say the e ff ect on the

.
, ,
union itself For through harmonious sex relationship s

.
a deeper spiritual unity is reached than can p ossibly be

derived from continence in or out of marriage and the ,
marriage a ssociation becomes an apter instrument in the

service o f the world Apart from any sexual craving the
.
,
LOVE AS AN A RT
37 7
complete spiritual contact of two persons who love each
other can only be attained through some act of rare in
timacy .N 0 act can be quite so intimate as the sexual em
brace I n its accomplishment for all spiritually evolved
.
,
persons the communion of bodie s becomes the communion

,
of souls The outward and visible Sign has been the con
.
summation o f an inward and spiritual grace

“
I would .
base all my sex teaching to children and young people on

”
the beauty and sacredness o f sex writes a di stingui shed ,
woman O live S chreiner in a per s onal letter : sex inter

,
“
,
course is the great sacrament o f life : he that eateth and

drinketh unworthily eateth and drinketh his own damna
,
tion ; but it may be the mo st beautiful sacrament between

two souls wh o have no thought o f children To many
the idea o f a sacrament seems merely ecclesiastical but ,
“ ”
that is a mi sunderstanding The word sacrament is the .
ancient R oman name of a soldier s oath of military alle ’
g i a n ce and the idea in the deeper sense existed long

, , ,
before Christianity and has ever been regarded as th e

,
physical S ign o f the closest possible union with some great

spiritual reality From our modern standpoint we may
.
say with James Hinton that the sexual embrace worthily

, , ,
understood can only be compared with music and with

,
prayer .
“
Every true lover it has been well said by a
”
,
“
woman knows thi s and the worth of any and every
, ,
relationship can be j udged by its succe ss in reaching or ,

” 1
failing to reach this standpoint
,
.
E T us now look at another side of the same question

L When we hear the sexual functions spoken of we
.
commonly under stand the performance of an act which

normally tends to the propagation of the race When we .
see the que stion o f sexual abstinence discus sed when the ,
1 M r s Ha v el ock
. ll
E i s, Ja mes Hi nton
, p . 1 80 .
378 H AVE LO C K E L L I S
desirability o f sexual gratification is asserted or denied ,
wh en th e idea ari se s of the erotic right s and needs of

women it is always the same act with its physical result s
,
t h at is chiefly in mind S uch a conception is quite ade

.
quate for practical working purpo se s in the s ocial world .
It enables us to deal with all our establish ed human in

s ti tuti on s in the sphere of sex j u s t a s the arbitrary a ssump
,
tions of E uclid enable us to traverse the field of geome

tr y But bey ond these useful purposes it is inadequate
.
and even inexact The functions o f sex on the p sychic

.
and erotic side are O f far greater exten sion than any act
of procreation ; they may even exclude it a ltogether : and
when we are concerned with th e welfare of the individual
human being we must enlarge our outlook and deepen
our insight .
There are we have seen two main functions in the

, ,
s exual relation ship or what in the biological s ense we

,
term marriage among civilized human beings : the pri

,
mary ph ysiological function of begetting and bearing o ff

spring and the s econdary spiritual function of furthering
the higher mental and emotional processes These are the .
main functions of the sexual impulse and in order to ,
understand any further Obj ect of the sexual relationship

—or even in order to under stand all that is involved in
the secondary obj ect of marriage— we must go beyond
con scious motives and consider the nature of the sexual
impul se physical and psychic as rooted in the human
, ,
organism .
The human organism as we kno w is a machine in, ,
which excitations from without streaming through the ,
nerves and brain efl ect internal work and notabl y stimu

, , , ,
late the glandular system In recent years th e glandular

.
sy stem ,
and e special ly that of the ductles s glands has ,
taken on an altogether new significance These ductles s .

3 80 H AVE LO C K EL L I S
perpetual and many—sided play with our environment .
It i s t h u s that we arrive at t h e importance of the p lay

functi on and th us also we realize that while it extends
,
bey ond the sexual sphere it yet definitely includes that ,
sphere There are at least three di ff erent ways of under

.
standing the biological function o f play There is the .
conception o f play on which G ros s has elaborately insi sted

, ,
as education ; the cat play s with the mouse and is thereby

“ ”
educating itself in the skill necessary to catch mice ; all

o ur human games are a training in qualitie s that are r e
quired in life and that is why in E ngland we continue to

,
attribute to the Duke of Wellington the say ing that the “
battle of Waterloo was won on the playing—fields of

E ton ”
. Then there i s the conception of play as the utili
z ati on i n art of the superfluous energies left unemplo y ed
in the practical work of life ; thi s enlarging and h ar moniz

ing function of play while in the lower ranges it may be,
spent trivially leads in the higher ranges to the produc

,
tion o f the mo st magnificent human achievement s But .
there is yet a third conception of play according to which

'
it exerts a direct internal influen ce— health —giving devel ,
op m en ta l —
and balancing o n the whol e organism of the
,
player him self Thi s conception is related to the other

.
two and yet distinct for it is not primarily a definite

, ,
education in specific kinds of life conserving skill al -

,
though it may involve the acquisition of such S kill ; and it

is not concerned with the con struction of obj ective works
of art although by means o f contact in human relation
, ,
ships it attains the whole s ome organic e ff ects which may

,
be indirectly achieved by arti stic activities It is in thi s .
sense that we are here concerned with what we may per

haps best call th e p lay functi on of sex .
3
3 Th t m e m t h v b
er s ee d vi d by P f
s o M
a i P ml
e een e se r o es s o r a ur c e ar e ee,
P er s ona l i ty a nd C ond u ct, 1 9 1 8 , pp 1 04, 1 07 , a n d 1 1 3 B ut i t i s un d er s to od
l xt d d I v d
.
v
.
b y P a r me ee i n a much a guer a nd mo r e e en e s en s e th a n ha e use .

LOVE AS AN ART 38 1
As thus understood the play function of sex is at once
, ,
in an in separable way both physic al and psychic It

, .
stimulates to wh olesome activity all the complex and i n
ter related system s of the organi sm At the same time

-
.
it satisfies the most profound emotional impulses con ,
trolling in harmonious poi se the various mental instinct s .
Al ong thes e lines it necessarily tends in the end to go

beyond its own sphere and to embrace and introduce into
the sphere o f sex the other two more obj ective fields of
play, that of play as education and that of pla y as artistic
,
creation It may not be true as was said o f old time

.
, ,
“
most o f our art s and sciences were invented for love s
,
’
”
sake . But it is certainly true t h at in proportion as we
,
truly and wisely exercise the play function of sex we are ,
at the same time training our personality on the erotic

side and acquiring a mastery o f the art of love .
The longer I live the more I realize the immense im

portance for the individual of the development through
the play function o f erotic personality and for human
,
society o f the acquirement of the art o f love At the .
same time I am ever more astonished at the rarity of

erotic pers onality and the ignorance o f the art o f love
even among those men and women experienced in the
,
exercise o f procreative power in whom we might mo st

,
confidently expect t o find such development and such art .
At times one feel s hopeless at the thought that civiliza

tion in this supremely intimate field of life has yet
achieved so little For until it is generally po ssible to
.
acquire erotic personality and to master the art of loving ,
the development o f the individual man or woman is

marred the acquirement Of human happiness and harmony
,
rema i ns i mpossible .
N entering this field indeed we have not only to gain
I true knowledge but to cast o ff false knowledge and
, ,
above all to purify our hearts of superstitions which have

,
no connection with any kind O f existing knowledge We .
have to cea se to regard as admirable the man who regards

the accompli sh ment of the procreative act with the ,
pleasurable relief it a ff ords to him self a s the whole code ,
of love We have to treat with contempt the woman

.
wh o a bj ectly accept s that act and her own pa ssivity ,
therein as the whole duty of love We have to under

,
.
stand that the art o f love h as nothing to do with vice and ,
the acquirement of erotic personality not h ing to do with

s en suality But we have al s o to realize t h at the art of
.
love is far from being the attainment of a refined and

luxuriou s self—indulgence and that the a cquirement o f
,
erotic personalit y i s of little worth unless it f or tifies and

enlarges the whole personality in all its aspects N ow .
all thi s is difli cult and for some people even painful ; to
,
root up is a more seriou s matter than to sow ; it cannot all

be done in a day .
It is not ea sy to form a clear picture of the erotic life

of the average man in our s ociety To the best informed .
among us know ledge in this field only comes slowly

,
.
E ven when we have decided what may or may not be

“ ”
termed average the avenues of approach to this inti
,
mate sphere remain f ew and mi sleading ; at the best the

women a man loves remain far more illuminating sources
of information t h an the man him self The more on e .
knows about him however the more one is convinced

, ,
that quite independentl y of the place we may feel in

,
cl i n e d to a ff ord to him in the scale o f virtue his co n cep ,
tion of erotic per sonality his ideas on the art of love if

, ,
they have any existence at all are of a humble character

,
.
A s to the notion of play in the sphere of sex even if he ,

8
3 4 HAVE L O C K EL L I S
garding attitude, that is not surpri sing The husband— b y .
primitive i nst i nct partly certainly by ancient tradition

,
regards him self as the active partner in matter s of love ,
and his own pleasure as legitimately the prime mot ive

for activity His wife consequently falls into the com
.
p lemen tar y position and regards her self as the passive

partner and her pleasure as negligible if not indeed as a ,
t h ing to be rather a shamed of should sh e by chance ex ,
p er i en ce it
,
so that while,
the hu sband is content wit h a
mere S i mulacrum and pretence of the erotic life the wife ,
h as often had none at all .
—
Few people realize few indeed have the knowledge , ,
or the opportunity to realize— how much women thus

lo se alike in the means to fulfil their own lives a nd in
,
the power to help others A woman has a husband she

.
,
has marital relationship s she h as children sh e h as all

, ,
the usual dome stic troubles ; it seems to the casual Ob

server that S he h as everything that constitutes a fully
developed matron fit to play her proper part in the home
,
and in the world Yet with all these experiences which

.
,
undoubtedly are an important part o f life she may yet ,
remain on the emotional side— and as a matter o f fact , ,
frequently remain s— quite virginal as immature a s a ,
schoolgirl S he h as not acquired an erotic personality

.
,
she h as not mastered the art of love with the result that ,
her whole nature remains ill developed and unh ar mon

iz ed and that S h e i s incapable o f bringing her personality
,
“
having indeed no achieved personality to bring— to
bear e ff ectively on the problems of society and the world
around her .
That alone is a great mi sfortune all the more tragic ,
s ince under favourable condition s which it S h ould have,
been natural to attain it might so ea sily be avoided But

,
.
there is this further result full of the po ssibilities of do

,
LOVE AS AN ART 8
3 5
mestic tragedy, that the wife situated however inno
so
,
cent however Virtuous may at any time find her Vir

, ,
gi n a l l y sensitive emotional nature fertilized by the touch

of some other man than her hu sband .
It happens so often A girl who h as been carefully

.
guarded in the home preserved from evil companions

, ,
preserved also from what her friends regarded as the

contamination o f sexual knowledge a girl of high ideals , ,
yet healthy and robust , is married to a man of whom she

probably has little more than a conventional knowledge .
Yet he may by good chance be the masculine counterpart

of herself well brought up without sex ual experience
, ,
and ignorant o f all but the elementary facts of sex loyal ,
and honourable prepared to be fitted to be a devoted

, , ,
husband The union seems to be of the happiest kind ;

.
no one detects that anything is lacking to this perfect

marriage and in course of time one or more children
,
are born But during all this time the hu sband has never
.
really made love to his wife ; he has not even understood

what court ship in the intimate sense means ; love as an
art has no existence for him ; he has loved his wife ac
cording to his imperfect knowledge but he has never ,
so much as realized that his knowledge was imperfect .
S he on her side loves her husband ; she comes in time

indeed to have a sort o f tender maternal feeling for him .
P o ssibly S he feel s a little pleasure in intercourse with him .
But she has never once been profoundly aroused and she ,
has never once been utterly sati sfied The deep fountains .
o f her nature have never been unsealed ; sh e has never
been fertilized throughout her whole nature by their

liberating influence ; her erotic personality has never been
developed Then s omething happens P erhap s the hus
’
. .
band is called away— it might have been to take part in

the G reat War The wife whatever her tender solicitude
.
,
for her absent partner feels her s olitude and is drawn
,
nearer to friends perhaps her husband s friends S ome

,
’
.
man among them become s congenial to her There need .
be no con sciou s or overt love making on either side and -

,
if there were , the wife s loyalty migh t be arou sed and

’
the friendship brought to an end L ove -making is not .
indeed nece ssary The wife s latent erotic needs while

.
’
,
still remaining unconscious have come nearer to the sur,
face ; now that she has grown mature and that they have
been stimulated yet unsati sfied for so long they have
, , , ,
unknown to herself become insistent and sensitive to a

,
sympathetic touch The friends may indeed grow into

.
lovers and then some sort of solution by divorce or in

, ,
—
trigue scarcely h owever , a de sirable kind of solution
,
becomes p ossible But we are here taking the highest

.
ground and assuming that h onourable feeling domestic ,
a ff ection or a stern sen se of moral duty render s such a

,
solution unacceptable In due course the husband returns

.
,
and then to her utter dismay the wife discovers if she , ,
has not di scovered it before that during his absence and , ,
for the fir st time in her life S h e has fallen in love S he

,
.
lo yally confe sses the situation to her husband for whom ,
her a ff ection an d attachment remain the same as before ;

for what has happened to her is the coming O f a totally
new kind of love and not an y change in her old love The .
situation which arises is one O f torturing anxiety for all

concerned and it is not less so when all concerned are
,
animated by noble and self sacr i ficing impul se s The -

.
hu sband in h is devotion to his wife may even be willing

that her new impulses should be gratified S he on her .
,
s ide will not think O f yielding to de sires which seem both

,
unfair to her hu sband and oppo sed to all her moral tradi
tions We are not here concerned to consider th e mo st
.
likely or the mo st desirable exit from th i s unfortunate

, ,
3 8 8 H AVE LO C K EL L I S
to see The sad part of it is that we
. see it SO seldom and
,
t h en often so late .
T mu st not be supposed that there is any direct or speedy

I way of introducing into life a wider and deeper con
cep ti on o f the erotic play function and all that it mean s
for the development o f the individual th e enrichment of ,
the marriage relationship and the moral harmony of

,
society S uch a supposition would merely vulgarize and

.
s tultify the divine and elu sive my stery It is only slowl y

.
and indirectly that we can bring about the revolution which

in thi s direction would renew life We may best prepare
.
the way for it by undermining and destroying those de

grading traditional conceptions which have persi sted s o
long that they are instilled into us almo st from bi r th to ,
work like a Viru s in the heart and to become almo st a

di sease of the soul To make way for th e true and beau
.
tiful revelation we can at lea st seek to cast out these an

,
cient growth s whi ch may once have been true and beauti
,
ful but now are false and poisonous By casting out

,
.
from us the conception of love as Vile and unclean we

s hall purify the chambers of our hearts for the reception
of love as s omething un speakably holy .
In this matter we may learn a lesson from the p sycho

analyst s of today with out any implication t h at p sy cho
,
analysi s is nece ssarily a de sirable or even p o ssible way of

attaining the revelation o f love The wiser p sych oan
.
a ly sts in si st that the process of liberating the individual
from outer and inner influences that repress or deform his

energies and impul ses is e ff ected by removing the inh ibi
tion s on the free play o f his nature It is a process of .
education in the true sen se not of the suppression of

,
natural i mpul ses nor even o f the instillation of s ound

rules and maxims for their control not of the pres sing in
,
LOVE AS AN ART 8
3 9
but of the leading out of the individual s special tenden ’
4
cies . It removes inhibitions even inhibitions that were
,
placed upon the individual or that he consciously or un

,
consciou sly placed upon him self with the best moral in ,
tentions ; and by so doing it allows a larger and freer and

more natively spontaneous morality to come into play .
It has this influence above all in the sphere of sex where ,
such inhibitions have been mo s t powerfully laid o n the
native impulses where the natural tendencies have been

,
most surrounded by taboos and terrors most tinged wit h ,
artificial strains of impurity and degradation derived from

alien and antiquated traditions Thus the therapeutical .
experiences of the psychoanalyst s reinforce the lessons we

learn from physiology and psychology and the intimate
experiences o f life .
S exual activity we see is not merely a bald propaga

, ,
tive act ; nor when propagation i s put a side is it merely

, ,
the relief of di stended vessels It is something more even

.
than the foundation of great social institutions It is the .
function b y which all the finer activities of the organism ,
physical and p sychic may be developed and sati sfied

,
.
, ,
—
N othing it has been said is so seriou s as lust to use the
beautiful term which has been degraded into the expres
sion of the lowest forms of sen sual pleasure— and we
have now to add that nothing is so full of play as love .
P lay is primarily the instinctive work of the brain but it ,
i s brain activity united in th e subtlest way to bodily ac

tiv ity In the play function o f sex two form s of activity
.
,
ph ysical and psychic are most exqui sitely and variously

,
and harmoniously blended We here understand best .
how it is that the brain organs and the sexual organs are ,
from the physiological standpoint of equal importance ,
4 S ee f o r i n st a nc e H W Fr i nk , M or b id Fea r s
. . a nd C o mp uls i ons , 1 91 8,
p
C h a ter X .
390 H AVE LO C K EL L I S
and equal dignity Thus the adrenal glands among the
.
,
mo st influential of all th e ductles s glands are specially ,
and intimately associated alike w ith the brain and the sex
organs As we rise in the animal series brain and adrenal
.
,
glands march side by side in developmental increase o f

size
,
and at the same time sexual activity and adrenal
, ,
activity equally correspond

L overs in their play—when they have been liberated
.
from the traditions which bound them to the trivial or

th e gross conception of play in love — are thus moving
among the highest human activities alike of the body and
,
of the soul They are passing to each other the sacra

.
mental chalice o f that wine which imparts the deepest

j oy that men and women can know They are subtly .
weaving the invisible cords that bind husband and wife

together more truly and more firmly than the priest of
any church And if in the end— as may or may not b e
.
they attain the climax of free and complete union then ,
their human play has become one with that divine play
of creation in wh ich old poet s fable that out of the dust,
of th e ground and in his own image some god o f chaos

,
once created M an .
392 M E C H T I L DE L IC H N O W S K Y
shows the coupling together o f two Vowels e through a

sigh These vowel s are neutrally coloured in tone not
.
,
happily triumphant like a [ E ngli sh a h ! not sl yl y ironic ,
like i [ long e ! not agitated or di sillusi oned like 0 nor

, ,
“ ”
indeed infernally awe inspiring like u [ 00 as in root
-
M arriage which seems to have been modeled on N ature

, ,
but knows to some extent how to escape its sovereign laws ,
is first an idea and probably not much more than that ,
although it appears to have existed almost everywhere

since time immemorial as a basis of life so fundamental
that it is taken for granted Created by thinkers praised .

,
by the mass accepted and employed with rage or in si

,
lence is this concept flickering temptingly like a fata

, ,
morgana , or grey like a bourgeois statute a social political ,

-
or a religious precept which many would very much like
to raise to the status of a law of N ature M arriage as an .
idea is however an old a venerable work of man ; mar

, , , ,
r iage as realization does not exist , though marriages there
are many thou sands of marriages as there are in the

, ,
world millions of Vehicles from pushcarts to luxurious ,
limousines .
A s to marriage as a known quantity as a thought which ,
has been thoroughl y considered and correspondingly

worked out as an explored territory I could not name any
, ,
quantity so unknown any such ter r a incognita M arriage

, .
is consummated ; it is lived Who or what i s consummated .
or lived o f that nobody is as yet aware to the extent

,
which might be natural in regard to other agreements

which human beings enter on with one another .
What is a marriage that goes well ? A thousand di ff erent

answers are pre sented D oe s the prosperous marriage de
.
pend on the love which brought the two partners to

gether ? And with what sort of love are we here con
cerned ? Again the echo of a thousand answers rings out .
But still from these two thousand answers no universally

MARR I AGE AS A W ORK OF ART 3 93
valid principle can be deduced since probably the last
,
j udgment delivered would nullify the earlier ones and ,
it wo ul d be difficult to reach unanimity M arriage appears .
really to exist only as an indefinite concept which cannot

be considered in all its aspects , e ither on the basis of
sociology or on that of religion , let alone transposing such
general considerations into the realm of fact— although ,
for instance the idea of scarlet fever has created a reason

,
able practical therapy which doctors and patients can

follow O f course marriage is not a sickness ; it is even
.
,
said to be health But this health is as far from being

.
easily attained as a sickness may be from an easy cure ,
and assuredly it is more diffi cult to attain it than t o accom

l
p sh a di fficult cure and therapy
i .
In marriage there is one factor with which we mu st

necessarily reckon humanity as it actually exi sts humanity
, ,
divided into a million forms which must claim for itself

,
the strength and all the forces of N ature with its primae
Val hostility to re strictions of civilization culture and art , ,
.
Because it has need of this dominant hostility this same ,
humanity has produced from its core the thinker the ar ,
tist who o ff ers it that same quality with the enchanting

,
“
word of love ”
But he too like N ature cannot think with
.
, ,
finality can never produce deeds which could give it an

,
easier rest another sleep than death the solution of all

, ,
problems There remains as the one rescue , as the on e

.
happy course—compromise M arriage is a compromise

.
which states and churches have conceived in order to give

humanity a supporting mould o f life and themselve s a
lever for control N either o f the two admits the com
.
promise Openly ; they i nvoke N ature which remains ,
silent but which does not forego vengeance when pro

,
v ok ed ; or they invoke G od Who i s alw ay s prudently

,
invisible and Whom they have degraded to the rank of

an inventor while they themselve s play the lords of the

,
patent office and meanwhile push forward their own dis

-
c over i es on which no G od would ever grant a patent the

, ,
inventions of M orality and E thics .
The characteri stic feature of compromise is that no

one likes to admit it least o f all the immediate parties
,
in this instance the married couple Compromises take

, .
form by neces sity where inevitable and intangible factors

have assumed control Thus in a higher sense every
.
, ,
poem every W ork of art is a sublime compromise with

, ,
inevitable intangible beauty with inevitable intangible

, , ,
su ffering .
O ne speaks of wedding f o r love and o f wedding for

convenience but not of love marriages and of convenience
,
-
marriages T h e act of wedding certainly does not con

.
sti tute a marriage in it self S tate and church want mar.
r i age— this abstract notion from which only bridges ,
which are difficult to cross can be constructed into reality

—but they supervise only the wedding A fter the wed .
ding the chaos o f humanity resumes its disorderly sway ,
and it seems as if it could as a rule hardly succeed in , ,
mastering it or in producing out of its midst a wise and

godlike leader to whom it might subj ect itself in its de
liverance But restlessly and all confusedly it busies
.
it self With the problem .
L et us first divide the matter into two great categorie s

1. Wedding for love with consequent marriage ;
,
2. Wedding for convenience with consequent mar ,
i
r age .
From the first there result :

a Wedding for love entered into in the age of un
.
,
reason ;
b Wedding for love, entered into in later and in
.
much later years H ere the problem is still more com

.
396 M E C H T I L DE L IC H NO W S K Y
ni ficant for the mutual agreement which beginning with ,
the day of the wedding is called marriage that in the fir st

, ,
place in contra st to other agreements it does not strive

, ,
toward a set , controllable aim ( for the management of

the common household and the procreation of children
is not a life s aim for human beings but much rather an
’
,
obj ect of control for authoritie s ) and that , in the sec ,
ond place no monitor will guide the two wh o call them

,
selves married people O ptimism , belief in miracles con

.
,
fiden ce in authority instinctive impulses the natural bias

, ,
o f character seem in the beginning to take the place of

,
any guide M any perhaps will say at this point : Religion !

.
And yet again : R eligion ! But o ut of thousands not even ,
o n e-half understand what religion is ; as to the usual
concepts I know very well that religion demands that one

,
take up one s cross and follow the L ord ; but thi s is only
’
an admi ssion that Christian marriage can be a real cross ,
and religion has never yet app ointed for the participant s ,
that is the married couple a guide who would do j ustice

, ,
to reality in a comprehensive and honest way .
M arriage is a dual autonomy ; the participants automat

i cally transfer to it their native impulse of self preserva -
tion and thenceforward the impulse o f self-preservation

,
will be part of the substance of the marriage .
This will to combine the final the enduring nay the , , ,
eternal with a phenomenon pertaining to N ature which

, ,
consequently is indefinite changing and o f primaeval

, ,
wildness and which powerfully rules man as in the case

, ,
—
of spiritual and physical mating this will to the eternal
lays the cornerstone of this artful edifice and is part of
the marriage which is a work of art Here in marriage .
, ,
in contrast to other relations between the sexes the motive ,
o f art enters ; here the chords of N ature are played on ;
h ere the fir st ton e of the metaphysical resounds .

MARR I AGE As A W ORK OF ART 3 97
A n ideal dual auton omy is like a tree which forms a
Si ngle straight trunk out o f two principal roots If .
,
after the uniting of the roots it Splits itself into two ,
parallel half-trunks on e may speak of its degeneration

, ,
and the wood loses in value and beauty— an instance of

dual autonomy which is not ideal .
Bodily condition spiritual disposition character in its

, ,
thousandfold varietie s dependence on impulse knowl

, ,
edge and lack of knowledge of one s own forces present ’

,
in th emselves tremendou s cli ff s or sheltering havens ,
which the ship of marriage must avoid or to which it

must run ; but in entering into marriage in youthful year s ,
neither o f the partner s knows h ow to say to it much more

“ ”
than the important word yes .
With regard to healthy and vigorous o ff spring and ,
becau se healthy youth in its carefree way bears burdens

more lightly feels di ffi culties less sharply and conquer s
, ,
them more ea sily and at times takes by intuition a path

,
which is not too wrong marriage at an early but suitable

,
age for both sexes seems to me a necessity only to be

avoided in exceptional ca se s under on e condition : M ar
,
r i ag e must b e r ega r d ed as a w or le of a r t These nine .
words must be made clear to youth M arriage as a social .
institution is a work of art— in contra st to the works of

N ature which rushes o n in happy thoughtle ssness and
,
knows no consideration no barrier no time M an h ow

, ,
.
,
ever wh o lives within time which for him h as a begin

'
, ,
ning and an end, has to transfer this sense of the

boundaries o f his existence to the use of the epochs to ,
surround each action with a beginning and an end ; man
had t o create speech in order to get a grasp on life as it

pa ssed a t least in the world of thought Through the
,
.
word he gave beginning and end to things ; out of word s

he created laws ; out of laws, walls between which life
3 98 M E C H T I L DE L IC H NO W S K Y
could flow as reasonably a s might be This entire edifice .
of speech l aw and attitude toward N ature the heredi

, , ,
tary enemy o f every art since only art can tame her is , ,
in itself a tremendous work of art at which humanity ,
has laboured for thou sands o f years Countless masters .
and apprentices with ceaseless and anonymous labour have

created the artful work which came into existence w ith,
N ature and p ar allel t o i t as well as in spi te of i t that art ,
ful work which we call the civilized world with its lan ,
guages and its laws and which contemplated across the

, ,
ages appears a s a work o f art o f tragic greatness The

,
.
path to beauty leads through su ffering and verily hu ,
manity has not been spared this .
What mankind in its entirety has accompli shed a work ,
of art which unlike the arts with which we are familiar

, ,
such as music poetry painting and sculpture , which are

, , ,
at the command of only one ma ster , was mastered by

thousands this is the task which two are supposed to per
,
form Two are in a fateful way more than a thousand

.
and less than one But enormous diffi culty lies in the
.
fact that while every other work of art can be app re

,
hended by the sense s that with which we are here con

,
cerned seems to re side in higher spheres where the hand ,
meets with no form the eye sees no line an d the ear

, ,
waits in vain for melodies ; and even when the two artists
have completed their work but f ew will be aware of it , ,
since it might well leave measureless abstract values to

po sterity but n o concr ete trace s Here thought senti
,
.
,
ment and an ever-renascent will to the good are bound

,
to create beauty and the progres s of mankind .
There exists yet another work of art in the metap hysi

cal sense which will be mentioned later
,
.
L ong before they call themselves independent I would ,
bring the greatness of this p roblem to th e attention o f

mality o a marriage contract ? N o ! This love must be

f
protected otherwi se P reci sely th e relative lack of im
.
pediment which marriage o ff ers to the lover is a menace

to love ; artificially constructed barr i ers will therefore not
harm but serve it .
The imperturbability of the married couple should ex

h ib it itself before witne sses as much as possible as a neu
,
tral courte sy toward each other from the first day on

,
.
But let the same courtesy prevail even when there are no
witnesses True courtesy in daily intercourse that is
.
, ,
amiable formalities the suppres sion of every personal ill

,
humour, the abandoning o f egotism , is the small coin

which comes from the capital o f the heart and is officially
recognized by the W orld in intercourse between man and
man It has therefore when this is its source , no more
.
,
to do with unnaturalness and a ff ectation with a lack of ,
genuineness or even with fal sity, than th e graceful ,
charming manner in which any work of art conceal s from

our senses in masterly fashion the greatne ss of the i mpul se
which created it .
This courtesy is the purp ort of all restraint and when ,
it pos sesses the grace of true virtue the grace of genuine

,
art it is perhap s the key to happiness B ewar e l— i f it be

, .
broken through on e finds the way back to it only with

,
difficulty The one who truly loves will understand me ;

.
it prevents nothing it advances everything

, .
But it will be difficult for many especially for youth

,
not trained to it in y ont/i f nl year s— a sin o f omi ssion

which I must regretfully put down to the account o f
the maj ority of parents It must for once be said plainly
.
-and I dare not shrink from so doing : P erhap s grace

does not lie at the G erman s door ; perhaps in ignorance
’
,
of its creative Value and of its deepest root in the v an

quishing of self he considers it superfl uous since it is
, ,
MARR I AGE As A W O RK OF AR T 40 1
foreign to his nature ; perhaps he is convinced that it has

n o p art in his being because he himself has never recog
,
n iz ed that in his o wn education rudeness was regarded
as genuineness roughness as straightforwardness and ar

, ,
r ogan t behaviour as frankness and that the whole en

,
semble was taken for manliness O ne thing is certain .
that G erman youth is sometimes a ff ected and insincere

when it wishes to be polite ; and as a re sult , this forced
will to courtesy to an absolutely misunderstood cour
,
tesy does not endure Even in the young women the

,
.
performance of the duties of courtesy appears to me often

purely external having nothing to do with that grace
,
f ulness which ar i ses toward one s fellowman out of the

’
wi nce te ipsa ni ( vanqui s h thyself ) ; there is certainly

nothing new in this requirement but it appears to me ,
that the ancient wi sdom has fallen into complete forget

fulness in the high culture of the beloved ego But mar .
r i age requires a mutual solicitude for the Thou ; the ego
can find in the marriage— partner a loyal trustee who will

love it as he loves him sel f and more This as thyself
,
“
.
,
which is taken from the familiar commandment of neigh

b our ly love happy in the highest sense , reveals a curiou s
,
s ecret ; it is certa inly true that self love w i th out a ny f eel

-
i ng of tend er n ess is a silently accepted principle of N ature

according to which man impul sively protects and furthers
himself It is also undoubtedly certain that nobody can
.
love his unfamiliar neighbour with tenderness ; the love

“ ”
o f neighbours ,
when felt is at the best an automatic
,
transfer o f self-love ; su ff ering that is known to oneself

or the self con scious j oy o f the individual will be per
-
ceiv ed in another and o stensibly sympathized with ; but
this a ff ective echo is only a crafty variety of egotism ,
which is not capable o f separating su ff ering and j oy from

itself even in the mirrored picture However, talent is .
involved here , and thus ari se s the chance of exercising an

art ; and here I speak of the second work of art from a
metaphysical point of View to which I referred above ,
o f Virtue O nly when exalted to a work of art can the love

.
“
of one s neighbour be virtue : when it germinates o f it
’
”
self and therefore grows wild it is neither the one nor
, ,
the other L ove cannot be commanded but its reflection

.
,
“ ”
can be the as if which is contained in the command
,
ment and which in fact means : Behave toward thy neigh

,
bour a s if thou lovedst him Then , since one is not ca .
ab l e of loving one self with a ffection and has only what

p
h e gives him self to o ff er to his neighbour the wisdom ,
of th e commandment discloses it self as a magnificent call

t o a r tistr y .
It is not love that is demanded but behaviour as if one ,
loved ; not sentiment but the act as if one were carried

, ,
away by a beauty which desire s exactly this deed in order ,
to surrender it self And it will let itself be captured it

.
,
will materialize as a work of art This love i s not emo .
tion it is religion S ome like the arti st are born religious

,
.
, ,
.
Few are capable of creating works of beauty in the plastic

arts mu sic and poetry ; but the way to the art —work of
, ,
virtue s tands open to every one .
A nd this art is tremendously fascinating and full of

mystery I t consi sts in fact in thi s : that after one h as
.
studied his own cards su fficiently o n e carefully conceals ,
them from his fellow players but peers industriou sly into ,
the card s of the others and direct s his game accordingly ,
not to gain a pers onal advantage but to let the others win ,
.
I am for absolute authentic mutual hone sty and frank

,
ne ss in marriage ; but one need not always carry his heart

—
in his hand h e may keep it in his head ! The imper
tur b ab ili ty of the marriage —
partners, mentioned above ,
mu st be preserved not only in the face of the world, but

4 4
tracted by its beauty and free of fear as if he could seize

,
“ ”
and dominate it ; and thi s as if becom es a fact The .
p oet speaks as if he were impri s oned behind a filigree of

Verses ; and he i s a captive although he can free himself
,
at any moment The soul o f the mu sician sings as if it

.
carried all dis sonances within itself and had only to ar

range them and thus it is until the moment when he binds
, ,
them into harmony ; and he does nothing else through all

his life The a ctor stands on the stage as if he were the
.
man whom he is repre senting and it is so ; he i s the man

, .
s — n o s —
M arried people tand G od k w l in life ! But it
would do them no inj ury if they lived as if they stood on
a stage so that they would not so often step out o f their
,
parts and be unmasked as ordinary amateurs ( l over s l ) .
A nd indeed the highe st art o f the stage is in a deeper

,
sen se a work o f love, of which the deeply touched Spec

tator must say : That was n o longer theatricality ; that was
life !
M arriage may present a greater work of art than any
ot h er relation between the sexes since harmony the eter
, ,
nal longing of man is thinkable in an arti stic sens e only

,
within the confines of e stablished principles No art can .
do without the unfathomable principles of mathematics ,
which are as mysterious as they are en dless ; its principles .
can shift con stantly and uninterruptedly in form yet ,
they will never escape life never concede independence

,
from themselves and therefore never grant complete

,
freedom L iberty in bondage is the goal Freedom in

. .
the unbound is really not freedom at all , but rather a

state of immaturity .
A free bond of love is like the magnificent occurrences

o f N ature ; the marriage bond is like a symphony That .
which unite s the artist with N ature is no longer a loose

'
relationship ; reverencing it , he carries on with it a mar

MARR I AGE As A W ORK OF ART 4 5
0
r i agewhich cannot be sundered His love is founded on

.
deep respect and he serves N ature with the utmost devo

,
tion until it comes to life in his work and is capable of

,
human speech E ven when he has become her master

.
N ature remains his mistress and their converse lasts for

,
ever and is ever n ew .
P os session is a result which the denominator and the

numerator proj ect before them into eternity ; so yout h
s hould speak thus to itself when it contemplates approach
,
ing the great work of art which is marriage : He who

knows not the pleasure of serving will never participate in
the plea sure of commanding him self and an undertaking .
The small space at my di sp osal does not permit me to

go into details e specially not into the details of technique
,
or into the question o f divorce which is certainly in the

,
sorest need of reform — Divorce is thrice to be preferred

.
to the awful drama of unhappy marriages lasting for

years— marital vaudeville or marital burlesque— b y peo
ple who are not arti sts ! But u sually the problem is not
so simple ! — I likewise cannot enter into the problem of
the children although they represent a leading motive of
,
marriage P erhap s the fundamental idea of this short

.
essay can be indicated as a fla sh of light a fla sh of light ,
to which a path o f thorns leads which two honourable ,
human s strew with the rose -leaves of their love The .
human being is perhaps never able to create a work of

art of absolute perfection and everything even p er f ec
, ,
tion is a fragment o f the N ameless the E ternal , the

, ,
Divine .
P erhap s every star which we contemplate with longing

from our lowlands is only a fragment a flash o f light ,
.
M a r ri a ge as a Fet t er
M
ARR I AGE is a form of completion of life completion ,
-
.
M an is not an entity as is clearly shown by the fact ,

“ ”
of nutri t i on Thi s fact is in the last analysis nothing
.
, ,
but the mo st univer sal and ever —renewed process of

completion A ll living beings not only depend upon
.
nutrition but they are nutrition in themselves a physico ,
spiritual nutritive proce ss compri sing sensations percep

, ,
tion s thought consciou sness as well as eating and drink

, , ,
ing and breathing This is what is implied in the axiom

.
”
of the Buddhi st canon : A ll beings consist in nutrition
“
( sa bbe satta a b ar a ti ttb ilea ) M arriage is the completion of

.
“
the individual being as illu strated by the phra se the
, ,
”
other half in speaking o f married per sons It represent s
,
'
as completion a form of ph y sico -spiritual nutrition in ,
which sometime s the physical sometimes the spiritual , ,
part is predominant M arriage thus reminds man as do

.
,
eating and drinking o f his deficiencies his lack of com

, ,
p l e ten ess .The pa ssion for completion is the most uni

versal the basic the all —
,
pervasive feature o f all kind s of
,
natural life and the desire to get rid of this compulsory

,
desire and lack of co mpleteness i s the mo st univer sal the ,
basic and all pervasive feature of all kinds of spiritual

-
life This desire or urge lies in the final anal ysi s at the
.
, ,
root of our idea of G od : We the created beings man , ,
kind— we stand in need of completion We feed ; that .
is we cannot help feeding : we woo ; that is we cannot

, ,
406
40 8 PAU L DA H LKE
nay it is even now bearing them There are laws of
,
.
reality that cannot be disregarded with impunity the fore ,
most of which i s this : that all superior beings prove their

superiority b y their slighter need for completion .
S uch as fail to see this will demand with the specious ,
and shallow assertivene ss of men of the world to be ,
shown positive proofs of the superiority and necessity of

celibacy Celibacy in their opinion only serves to induce
.
, ,
hypocri sy and immorality .
Celibacy unquestionably gives rise to such phenomena ,
and has as a matter of fact often enough caused their

, ,
appearance Yet this only serves to show that it is con

.
tr ar y to the e ssence of life which is de sire for completion

, ,
passion for completion A nd everything hinges upon the

.
question whether life as repre sented by this e ssential

, , ,
should be regarded as Venerable, and necessary and ,
worthy of approbation in itself or whether this passion ,
for completion should be considered as what it really is a ,
necessity a deficiency and in a word, an inferiority It is

, ,
.
here that Catholici sm reveals its distinctly superior

capacity for sensing the ultimate mysteries of life , as com
pared with Protestantism and Judaism and their all too
exuberant affirmative attitude toward life according to ,
which the need for completion prevailing with life in

general is held to be venerable and j ustified in itself and ,
thus to hallow itself and to render superfluous any kind

of priestly celibacy There are no doubt variou s kinds
.
, ,
of life s s elf completions and they all appeal to man on

’ -
,
th e score of their
“
naturalness ”
E ating and drinking
.
are natural S o are wooing and being wooed Still what

. .
,
ranks high above them all as the higher form of life , is

,
di sengagement from such complements lack of desire the , ,
G reat P overty ; and this proves itself to be the higher

form of life by rising above and comprehending them
MARR I AG E AS A F E TT ER 4 9
0
each and all by virtue of its reaching an intrinsic con

clusi on, es sentially un surpa ssable “
with its no more ”
, .
Wh o is the richest ? He who has no more need Wh o .
possesses everything ? He who demands no more Wh o .
i s the most powerful ? He who possesses himself .
A more crucial test of the quality of self—possession

than celibacy hardly seems to exist N or is there to be .
found a standp oint from which on the contrary all these

, ,
needs could be as forcibly shown to ri se above the lack of

needs ; that is a standpoint from which matrimony and
,
its inherent worldliness could be shown to reach an in

“
tr in sic completion in the form o f
”
no more celibacy For .
need is never an actual completion nor an actual height ,
no matter what label be bestowed on it by dialectic Thu s .
freedom from needs clearly and per s e proves itself to be

on a higher plane as compared with need
,
.
N evertheless celibacy is a symptom Symptoms admit

,
.
of vari ous interpretations and that it is not symptoms

,
alone that count is shown by the familiar distinctions b e

tween the monk and the bachelor A man does not become
.
a monk by remaining a bachelor ; the reverence with which

celibacy is everywhere regarded and treated stands in
inverse ratio to the treatment meted out to the bachelor .
H is standing is unquestionably lower than that of the

married man What is the reason for this ? Again we
.
p oint out that symptoms admit of various interpretations .
It is not symptoms that count but motives The meaning

,
.
o f life does not re side in facts but in motives

,
Thi s serves .
to reveal the fundamental di ff erence between the monk

and the bachelor : the monk is unwedded because of a
morality surpas sing the ordinary standard ; the bachelor
is unmarried because of a morality falling below the ordi ~
nary standard This di ff erence must be pondered appre

.
,
hended understood ; otherwise the monk might happen to

,
410 PAU L DA H L KE
become a bachelor n o more than a cowled bachelor ; and
,
v i ce ver sa
s
When thi s difference is apprehended under
.
,
stood and realized the bachelor might chance to become

, ,
a monk without the cowl failing to exhibit himself out ,
w ar dly as a monk for the reason that the actual circum

s tance s are unfavourable , as for example in these present , ,
forsaken times whose deficiency in cultural values and

,
cultural sensibilities is pre eminently shown in the defi -
ci en cy of monach ism and the lack of opp ortunit y to lead a
monastic life— of the cloister Here again Catholicism .

,
with its profound understanding of humanity proves the ,
onl y exception in the western hemisphere .
T h e question of the motive o f celibacy confronts us in

Buddhism with all the di ff erences that exi st between it
,
and the other religions in this respect as in all others

,
.
In religions based upon a creed Catholicism first of all , ,
celibacy is ultimately only an expres sion for an i nn tati o

'
D ei an imitation of G od the striving after that integrity

, ,
which needs no complement and which is itself G od “

.
Priestly celibacy has to my mind no other meaning : the

, ,
priest on the on e hand the mediator between G od and,
man and the monk on the other holding immediate com

, ,
munion with G od both show these relations to the Divine

,
in disclaiming all manner o f self completion within the -
limits of what is p ossible to beings o f flesh and blood .
The ultimate and deci sive complement in this instance is , ,

“
G od the G od in whom he believes
”
,
“
Be y e therefore .
perfect even as your Father which is in heaven is per

,
f ect
.
”
A nd to be perfect means to require no completion .
Thus in religions based upon creeds the fact of celibacy

, ,
entirely depends on its metaphysical ba si s without which ,
it would be no more than an asceticism as devoid of pur

pose and significance as it is evidently thought to be by
Protestantism and the worldly A nd what after all could .
, ,
4 12 P AU L DA H LKE
is down to actuality but that remain entangled in mere
, ,
concept s A nd it approximates an entanglement in con

.
cep ts when celiba cy is ad h ered to for the sake of this

,
wholeness that requires no complement being in itself ,
the P erfect Wherever t h ere is life and wherever life is

.
accepted as such , the need for completion also exist s L ife .
without completion is a concept as meaningless as a flame

which does not burn .
Buddhism does not fall into the error of entanglement

o f concepts Buddhism , in the final anal ysi s teache s the
.
,
nature o f actuality as it reall y is O ne kind of actuality .
only is open t o mankind : that which every individual

experiences within himself A nd the Buddhi st doctrine . .
o f actuality tends in the last re s ort t o demonstrate what

, ,
the individual experiences him self : the restless unstable , ,
empty interplay of the five groups of attachment

that is as a proce ss wh ich in , ,
its nature does not p oss ess the attachments and comple
,
tion s as the functions of an ego but which i s these attach,
ments and completions them selves and nothing whatever

besides A n ego identical with itself and capable of com
.
p l eti n g it s elf to form a totality is therefore impossible , ,

.
A nd this is the great sacrifice the unprej udiced thinker is

called upon to make at the altar of truth : the sacrifice o f
the ego the term being taken in the customary sense o f
,
identity with oneself Thi s is the great sacrifice to which

.
“
Buddha referred when he said : It is hard to find such as
”
understand For man understands be st what lies in the
.
direction of his wishes and his will But Buddhism op .
poses that which man desires and intends : existence well ,
being and permanence Therefore Buddha calls his

,
.
,
“
doctrine that which opposes the current ”
A nd so it .
does indeed since it eradicates the illusion o f an ego and

,
proclaims in the place of an ego existing in itself as a

, ,
MARRI AGE As A F E TT ER 4 3
1
j uxtaposition identical with itself in which every one ,
believes the pure sequence of an ever —renewed remem

,
brance which must invariably spring anew from its pre

,
liminary conditions if it is to exi st at all ( Compare my

, .
“
essay on S amsara and N irvana in the periodical D er
”
,
L euch ter 1 92 5 O tto Reich l D armstadt )

, , The ego is , .
thus not a metaph y sical and purely spiritual entity no

longer requiring any complement s nor is it a purely ,
“ ”
physical becoming receiving its complements from other
beings but a being complementing itself from wit h in a
,
physico -spiritual entity requiring su stenance—corporeal

,
and spiritual base and r efin ed— for its exi stence ; nourish
,
ment therefore in either case and thus need of comple

, , ,
tion and thus deficiency

,
.
Viewed from this n ew insight into the nature of reality ,
the problem of completion and its valuation undergoes a

complete conversion The aim that remains cannot be th e
.
“ ”
completion toward an ideal wholene ss in it self wh ich ,
would mean entanglement in concept s devoid of substance ,
forfeiting their actuality for the sake of ab soluteness .
The aim in this case is the endin g the cessa ti on of the se

, , ,
ever -renewed completions which it i s true are life itself

, , , ,
yet in which life experiences itself as potential cessati on .
L ife is a potential cessation Its totality con si sts in that

.
it experiences itself throughout as a process of comple

“
tions . The whole ye priests shall be shown unto you
, ,
.
What is the whole ye p riests ? The e ye a n d the vi sible

,
forms the ear and the sounds the no se and the smells
, , ,
the tongue and the tastes the body and the tangibilities
, ,
thought and states of existence This ye priests is what .

, ,
”
a —
is called the whole ( S ni y Nih I V ) . .
,
.
Wh atever can cease ma st cease In the presence of

!
,
potential cessation ces sation is the final obj ect ; that is an

, ,
obj ect that doe s not belong to the sphere of transcendent

4 4
1 PAU L D A H LKE
concepts but which experiences itself as a cessation of
,
comprehension both bodily and spiritually

,
“
Perfection ”
.
i s not in this instance the existence “in it self ” of a whole

, ,
perfected in itself and requiring no completion s but the ,
complete cessation of all those completions that make up

the whole of life and that must cease since their cessa ,
tion is p otential The obj ect is here cessation ( nir odh a )

.
, , ,
extinction ( ni bb ana ) of the beginningless play o f life

,
which has unfolded itself by virtue o f its ignorance

,
thereof from unbeginningness Therefore, this extinc

,
.
tion is not the e ff ect o f re solve or of an act of will or of

an ascetic compul sion but the result of a new insight into
,
actuality accordi ng to which the root of all existence is

,
ignorance ( a vij j a ) and thirst ( tanh a ) with their pa ssion ,
for completion which is the basis in it self and to which

,
“
i s opposed the cessation of this passion the E n ough n ow ! ,
E n ough n ow f or ever ! ,
”
being the N oble in itself to ,
which thought presses forward as to the ultimate the ,
greatest the irresi stible comfort which consists in aban

,
don men t relinqui shment and renouncement and which

, , ,
encompasses and supersedes all the other kinds of com

fort with their inevitable contrasts of pain and bliss .
“
There are two kinds of comfort , ye priest s Which are .
they ? The comfort of the house and the comfort o f

pilgrimage These are the two kinds of comfort The
. .
higher o f the two is the comfort of pilgrimage ye priests ,

.
There are two kinds of comfort ye priests Which are ,

.
the two ? The comfort derived from sensual bliss and

the comfort of renunciation These are the two com .
forts ye priests The higher o f these two kinds of com

,
.
fort ye priests is the comfort o f renunciation ( Ang

, ,
”
.
Ni le Book II ) A nd : Boundlessness is what I deem the

,
“
.
”
greate st comfort Nih X II I ) For where
-
.
,
.
there is need there is limitation Where there is limi

,
.
4 6
1 PAU L D A H L KE
mind of man I know of no voice whatsoever O ye
.
,
priests no perfume no ta ste no contact that fetters the

, , , ,
mind of man like the contact with woman The .
contact with woman fetters the mind of man I know .
of no form O ye priests that fetters the mind of woman

, ,
like the form of man The form of man fetters the .
mind of woman I know of no voice no perfume no

.
, ,
taste no contact that fetters the mind of woman like the

,
contact with man The contact with man O ye priest s

.
, ,
”
fetters the mind o f woman .
N ow marriage as a form o f completion has been

, ,
called a form of nutrition I f t h is completion is to cea se .

,
must not the monk since he disclaims completion in mar

,
r i age
,
di sclaim completion by nutrition as well ; that is ,
must he not as a matter of course choose voluntary death

, ,
by starvation ?
The answer is : N o ! for what matters is not the act of
feeding but that there should lurk no lust no passion
, , ,
no attachment to food behind the proce ss of nutrition .
The Oil of the flame of life the oil by which life sustains ,
itself and b y which it has ever sustained it self consists

, ,
n ot in eating and drinking but in thirst ( tan h a ) , .
”
“
It i s t h ir st that creates man ( tanha i aneti pa r isani
S ani y Ni h I )
.
- .
,
.
The natural obj ection to this is : I f the form o f com

p l eti o n realized as eating and drinking is nothing but a
symptom that depends for its significance and meaning

on some other thing behind it might not the completion ,
realized by marriage be likewi se a symptom depending

for its si gnificance and meaning upon some other thing
behind it ; that is can there not be pas sionless marriage
, ,
as there is passionless eating : a marriage that would not

be a fetter even for the Buddhist ?
O ur answer to this is that such a state would amount
MARR I AGE As A F E TT ER 4 17
“
to a p lay on the word marriage M arriage is essen .
”
tially the adj ustment of the sexual tensions prevailing

between the sexes ; that is adj ustment in an orderly and
,
conventional form This adj ustment is accompli shed as

.
,
a rule by the sexual act which for the male at least is

, , , ,
the gre atest confession of lust that unique act of upright ,

“ ”
ness in which the word upright receives its real mean
ing where concept and obj ect , idea and deed form a
, ,
unity There is ultimately only one upright member

.
, ,
in man the sexual organ o f the male It is impossible

,
.
that the uprightness o f this member ( the erection ) ex ,
cept in some cases of sickness should be a mere symptom ,
depending for its meaning and significance upon some

thing still more remote The act of uprightne ss is lust
.
itself, a unique process in which form and essence symp ,
tom and reality form a unit .
Therefore man is the upright the open being ; woman , , ,
in whom this unique upright member is la cking or rather ,
in whom it exi sts but in a rudimentary form incapable of

,
generation is the secretive the hidden sex It is for thi s

, , .
—
reason that the Anga ttar a Nihaya says : Three things O
“
,
ye priests live hidden not openly Which are these

, ,
.
three ? Woman O ye priests lives hidden not openly ;

, , ,
the wisdom of the Brahmins lives hidden not openly ; ,
wrong opinion lives hidden not openly Three things O ,

.
,
ye priests shine openly not hidden What are the se

, ,
.
three ? The di sk o f the moon O ye monks shines openly , ,
and is not hidden The disk of the sun shines openly and
.
is not hidden The doctrine proclaimed by the Buddha

.
shines openly and is not hidden ( Ang Nih Book I I I )

”
.
- .
,
.
Thus eating and drinking may be accompli shed with

,
out lust The act of generation is lust itself

. .
But a marriage may be concluded with the explicit con

dition of the exclusion of sexual intercourse There are .
4 1 8 PAU L DA H LKE
cases on record of pure and chaste marriages in which ,
“ ”
both halves live in absolute continence in re spect of
sexuality S ome cases of this description are even said to
.
be historically proven .
This may be t rue But the adj ustment between the

.
sexes completion as between man and woman need not

, ,
be realized by the act of generation alone ; it may al s o

be accompli shed in a great many o ther way s as , for ex ,
ample, in the manner o f a purely spiritual completion .
S till a marriage in which o n e of these completions fail s

,
“ ”
to take place can no longer be called marriage ; it h as
become a mere living side b y side , likely to be severed at
- - -
the first shock it receives O n the other hand completion

.
,
as between man and woman may be equally well accom

l
p sh ed where there is no conj ugal life
i The spiritual .
friendship s of men such as Dante Petrarch Franci s of , ,
A ssi si and Franci s of S ales are from our point o f View , , ,
fully equivalent to married life and its e ff ects and con

s equences Thus Buddhism is seen to be in the last
.
, ,
re s ort here as everywhere a matter of honesty with one

, ,
self .
G autama the later Buddha was married That his

, ,
.
marriage was not of the Platonic order i s shown by the

exi stence of a son engendered by him at whose birth he ,
“
i s said to have spoken these words : There has been born
”
to me another fetter , meaning that there has been added
to the old fetter marriage a new one in the son These
, , .
fetters were severed by the glow of the new way o f think

ing During his later career as the Buddha he was f r e
.
,
quently in the company o f nuns and female followers ;

but he never omitted the neces sary precautions and above ,
all never failed to impress their neces sity in the strictest

,
terms on the minds of his priests through out h is preach

ings It is for her lack of uprightness that woman is to
.
,
2
4 0 PAU L DA H LKE
himself as the penitent H ar ita met with a fall from the
, ,
loftiness he had attained into fre shly kindled sensualit y ,
through negligence in thi s respect .
G autama the Buddha sought out lonely places until

, ,
his deat h ; and when asked his reason in so doing ( M aj j h .
N i h IV) he replied : For mine own welfare and for the

,
“
”
good o f my followers This again is indeed taking a
.
human view of man and a genuine view of reality A nd .
in this genuine realit y married life is a fetter for him

who h as become aware of where the voy age leads : to sur
cease o f all completions relinqui shment cessation
, , .
Th at this manner of conceiving married life as de ,
rived from the Buddhi st insi ght into the nature of reality ,
should ever lend itself to co ordination with other con -
cep ti on s as under s ome hig h er kind of unity is out of the ,
question even as no standpoint exists from which doing

,
and leaving undone could be co—ordinated as under a

higher unity R efraining from action if honestly in
.
,
tended i f put into practice that is if realized is alway s

, , , ,
itself and nothing be sides A ny endeavours to place it

,
.
under some higher con cept to pre sent and to delimit it as

,
this or as that in a word to define it is as unthinkable as it

, ,
Is Impo ssible since abandonment means also abandon

,
ment o f all manner of compreh ension “

A nd this priest .
,
O ye priest s does not excogitate any thing ; he does not

,
excogitate anywhere nor does he excogitate for th e sake

,
of anything ( M aj j h —Nih
”
. .
,
He abandons having perceived that the nature of life

,
is such as to allow of abandonment and that he w h o would

be honest with himself must as a matter of cour se aban , ,
don it To speculate on Buddhism however ingeniou sly

.
,
and pertinently means mi sconceiving it

,
.
In contributing this article on the subj ect of M arriage

“
”
as a Fetter to this j oint work on matrimony I have not ,
MARR I AGE As A F E TT ER 42 1
intended to suggest the possibility of working out the

Buddhist conception of married life with other concep
tions nor have I meant to bring about its co—ordination
,
with them under some higher standpoint I have con .
tributed my article simply because I wished to avail my

self of another opportunity for p ointing out that Bud
dh ism wherever and how soever it may be approached is
, ,
wholly beyond the p ossibility of being reduced to a con

cept Things like attaining to fullest maturity abandon
.
,
ment eternal cessation are in their nature incapable of

, , , ,
being co ordinated with forms implying retainment or

-
attachment the categories of identity or contradictoriness

,
being equally unavailable There remains the incontro

.
vertible fact that abandonment is what it is in itself and ,
nothing more A nd any kind o f endeavour to grasp

.
abandonment by conceptual means and to co-ordinate it

in the ch orus o f life as an individual part is destined to
failure provided that on e does not toy with the subj ect
,
as with a mere concept , in which case doubtles s anything

whatever can be managed conceptually abandonment of ,
conception not excepted But whoever discountenances

.
this process of transubstantiation this substitution of ,
mere concepts for actuality will not be long in perceiving

,
that the adequate formula is that B udd hism is one thing ,
a n d ev er thi n
y g e ls e i s d ifl er en t L et what I
. have said
about married life be understood and remembered in the

same spirit .
Ver eh r ung d eni L ehr er ! — “

R everence to the Teacher ! ”
M a r ri a ge as Fu l filmen t
I N C E the chasm between man and man may be deeper

“ ”
than the yaw ning gulf of which our forbears
spoke and more unbridgeable than the gulf between the
s oul of our mo st ancient ancestor that liquid cry stal and ,
,
“
our own we are not surpri sed if by the word marriage
,
the most di ff erent kinds of sexual relations are understood .
I n our exam i nati o n of marriage as fulfilment we shall not

apply the word to this diver sit y but only to the highest
,
po ssibility o f the human race ; that is lasting voluntary , , ,
spiritually compelled monogamy A ll other forms are

.
s tage s of development from remote pre — human times or ,
di storted phenomena of civilization which man chooses in

s tead of h is higher p o ssibility For the expert they may
.
all have great s ignifi cance but they must n ever be taken
,
a s a criterion for spiritual valuations .
I f we wish to understand why we may under certain

premi ses term thi s la sting Voluntary spiritually com
, ,
“ ”
p ell ed monogamy a fulfilmen t ; if we wi sh to get an
idea why it h as a far higher significance for the soul than
all other la sting relationship s of either con sanguinity or
friendship we must above all clearl y di stingui sh the na
,
ture of marriage from the emotion s of human beings to

ward each other Thi s is the more nece ssary since the
.
meaning s of words are s o very apt to be confused Al .
mo st all language s describe the mo st di ssimilar spiritual

“ ”
occurrences by the word l ove ; what wonder then that , ,
422
4 4
2 MA TH I LDE VO N K E M N IT z
will to selective amalgamation unites itself with the emo

tions It does this the more frequently and fervently be
.
cause the pleasure and pain which it experiences a r e espe

cially exuberant . S ince this will however is a spiritual
, ,
faculty di ff erent from emotion it can associate itself alter

,
“ ”
n ately with both poles hatred and love These coup
, .
lings peculiarly rich in variations which we encounter in

, ,
a ll defective being s make plain even to the uninitiate the

,
di ff erence between the two Spiritual faculties If how .

,
ever the self—

,
transformation of the human being in the
s ense of his divine function is brought to completion ; if
the will to self-preservation has placed above itself the

self creation of accomplishment as the sole purpose of life
-
,
then the emotions and the will to selective amalgamation

are spiritually directed a n d from that time on this will
,
can never again associate itself with hatred I f the in .
spired hatred has reason to strike the chosen on e the will ,
to selective amalgamation is extinguished .
The omnipotence of this will shows it self obj ectively

above all in its si nister transforming influence on the soul .
A magical activity either destructive o r brilliantly devel

,
oping can emanate from it This mankind h as felt from

,
.
,
th e beginning and for that rea s on has regarded the union

,
o f the sexes as a divine consecration o r feared it as a

“
demoniac enchantment which can steal away a man s ’
soul .
”
A ctually not only the permanent union but also
, ,
the fugitive exchange o f bli ss has a transforming influence

—
,
on the soul that influence so eagerly denied by all human

be ings who aspire to higher aims and who in primitive and
unworthy unions attempt to fulfil their will to selective
amalgamation In the enduring union this reality is still
.
more far-reaching Here human being s who are consciou s

.
of G od can pine away to contented or morose garrulous ,
corpses ; but also under the healing hands of erotici sm

, ,
MARR I AGE As F U L FI L M EN T 4 5
2
they can ripen into clarified mature beings Between ,
these opposed conclusive self—

.
, creations which the union ,
of the sexes furthers we see all other human beings led

,
part way in one or the opposite direction through the will

to selective amalgamation N 0 on e not even the ascetic
.
,
himself, escapes the transforming power of this will The .
manner o f fulfilment or of asceticism the degree of spir

i tuality—which determines union o r ascetic resignation
,
decide the manner of transformation the direction of the ,
way along which the soul is led without any regard for ,
the stage of development and the capacity o f the person

thereby a ff ected A n emotion can never e ffect a change of
.
such a paramount and conclusive kind in the soul But .
since mankind believes the will to selective a malgamation

to be an emotion so will mankind always fail to appr e
,
ciate its tran s forming e ff ect and prefer to interpret it as

“ ”
immaturity ; if one grants the communal state of mar
r i age such high s ignificance in human life one indeed call s ,
“ ”
it fulfilment It is therefore not without significance
.
that I am able to illuminate in my works the reason of thi s

singular and p otent influence on the human soul .
The soul o f man is the miraculou s edifice of all stages

of the creation o f the cosmos sheltering all cosmic revela
,
tions o f will in accordance with their appearance in the

universe N ow since the will to selective amalgamation
.
3
,
made its appearance already in the stage preceding the first

living cell the colloid crystal and has dwelt Since tho se
, ,
early creative phases in all higher individuals up to man ,
so it exists in the soul of man in opposition to the emo ,
tions on all grade s o f consciou sness and al s o in the un con

scious soul Yes it glows through every single cell o f the
.
,
3 S ee D er S eel e U r s pr ung und W es en, art P I ,

S chbpf nngsg es chi chte
(
“
O r i g i n an d R e al y
i t o f th e S o u ,
l P
”
a r t ,
“
Hi sto r I y of Ver l ag
D i e Hei mk eh r , P a si n g v o r M un c h en
“ ”
.
4 6
2 MA THI LDE VO N KE M N IT Z
body, and in the germ — cell s it experiences an exceptionally
clear obj ectification In spite of this deep anchorage in
.
the lowest spiritual stages It ri ses I nto the human soul s

,
’
highest forms o f existence In truth in the supra-con .

,
s ci ousn ess it is experienced as a owerful inspired desire

p ,
thanks t o this fulfilled divine union Thus it entirely .
penetrates the soul of man and together with the will to

s elf preservation represents the mo st extensive spiritual
-
event s O n the basis of this extent of experience we could

.
already j u stify our conception of the highest po ssibility of

“ ”
mankind s selective amalgamation as fulfilment
’
Cer .
tain ly we must emphasize at the same time that the ascetic

“ ”
is not to be termed unfulfilled on account of his asceti
cism . In exactly the same way as we venture to praise
only one kind of marriage as fulfilment of the will to
s elective amalgamation there i s only one kind of asceti
,
c i sm which leaves man entirely unfulfilled The a scetic .
who in his yearning for genius renounces of his own free

, , ,
will an uncongenial partners h ip choo sing asceticism be

, ,
cause he sees the inspired choice of h is will to be unattain

able experiences j ust through this renunciation and
,
through his su ff ering a p owerful spiritual unfolding on to

higher planes But if a man lives ascetically because he
.
is devoted t o the insane idea that the will to selective

”
amalgamation and its affi rmation are things unclean he ,
a ssuredly cannot escape atrophy of soul for the sake of

this uninspired asceticism He wanders away from G od
.
into the darkne ss quite as much as one who remai ns In a n

uncongenial union I have elsewhere compared the
.
“ ”
elective a sceticism of genius with the asceticism not in
4
accord with genius The former is in harmony with
.
4 S ee T r i u mp h d es U ns ter b li ch kei tsw i llens , Ru n en d er M i nn e, and M or a l

d er E r oti (k“
p
T r i um h o f th e W i to ll I
mmo r t a i t , ” “
l y
R une s of Lv o e,
”
a nd
“
E th i c s o f V l
er a g
“
D i e Hei mk eh r , ”
P a s i ng vor
M ii nch en .
4 2 8 MA TH I LDE VO N K E M N IT z
perfection through their own strength and through this are

bearers o f divine consciousness as long as they breathe .
Through this inward intermingling of the procreation of

the child with the absolute idea of the universe the mighty ,
e ff ect which it and care for the development of the child

have on the human spirit must not surprise us The feel .
ing of the close connection be tween the procreation of

children and the divine sense of the universe has always
permitted a con sciousness of its holiness to dwell with the
people most conscious of G od Thus the northern lore of
.
the gods s hows a positive knowledge of such consecration

and teaches under the cloak o f symbolism , that the god
,
Heimdold is present at the hour of procreation ( Creation“
”
of the Classes E dda ) Following the introduction o f
,
.
O riental teaching of the ascetic ideal this secure wisdom

,
underwent a peculiar transformation M arriage was

.
“ ”
barred as sin by the universal contempt for the union of
the sexes except when it was for the sake of procreation
,
.
“ ”
The morality of the last century deduced from the dis
,
c over ies of the natural sciences indorsed this conception to

,
a great extent ; and therefore insurmountable obstructions

“ ”
often stand in the way of fulfilment in marriage , as a
result of such erroneou s valuations Against this I have
.
,
proved that marriage carries its consecration within it self ,
quite independently o f procreation even though the in

,
s piring e ff ect o f parenthood on the soul o f man can be so
s plendid that we would be j u stified in calling marriage

“
fulfilment even if only on account o f procreation since
”
,
in the exp erience o f parental love lies the p ossibility o f

quickening genius The ego often for the first time ex
.
, ,
e r ien ces in it an exaltation tran scending the narro w limits

p
of its particular individuality The inten sive common ex
.
r i en ce of the ego with the child o r children is Often the

p e
first step in the splendid ascent which the ego must accom
MARR I AGE AS F U L FI L M EN T 2
4 9
p lish i n self creation and which

-
leads it to the sublime
goal of overcoming hyperco smic di stances in a single ex
p e r ien ce
,
as a bearer of divine consciou sness Parental
.
love , above all mother l ove is moreover better suited than

, ,
any other experience to stir the will to self-pre servation

from its monotonous devotion to the accumulation of
pleasures It demands sacrifice and yet again sacrifice
.
,
“ “
and does not hope therein for return and payment
” ”
.
Therefore it is a possible bridge to the distant goal of di

vine experience which contains within it self the ultimate
fulfilment o f the human s oul Assuredly this event too
.
, ,
like all those which befall man in his environmental and

in his inner world does not neces sarily produce the same
,
e ff ect in every instance The same experience of parent

.
hood may j ust as well lead man to atrophy of the soul if ,
he turns it to such account out of his own choice He then .
distorts parental love to a fooli sh monkey love which ,
may smother his own soul and that of his child The act .
“
of generation carries thus the highest consecration is ful ,
”
fil ment to man ; but man can tran sform it into a soul
murdering p oison In view of the erroneou s teachings
.
which prevail today and destroy culture in view of the

,
underestimation of the peculiar value of marriage inde

endently o f procreation it becomes a still more urgent
p ,
duty to point out the consecration which inheres in it ! I

have had occasion to indicate in my works from variou s,
points o f View on what clay feet the a scetic ideal stands

, ,
which chooses to stigmatize enj oyment of the senses as

sin. I n this brief discussion the knowledge to which wis
dom and science lead can only lightly be touched on .
O ne wh o has penetrated into the entire structure of my

philosophy will understand what might seem in the fir st
,
“ ”
instance surprising that the potentially immortal uni
,
cellular organism the first living being of creation re

, ,
43 0 MA TH I LDE VO N K E M N IT z
s embles the human being the highest step in creati

,
many respects to a greater extent than all the interm ate

stages . The human being is the only living organiSIfi to
which though subj ected to the necessity of death /1m
, ,
mortality 13 attainable even if only In a spiritualized fn an

,
ner That immortal ancestor teaches us thus the profound

.
sense the divine consecration o f amalgamation which it

, ,
realizes independently of the task of propagation in a ,
marvellous way ! But all mortal intermediate stages show ,
like distorted and stunted human beings only an in signif ,
i can t obj ectification o f the will to selective amalgamation .
“ ”
The life o f the more highly di ff erentiated unicellular
entities speaks clearly in regard to the exceptional value of
th e union of choice for tho se beings propagate themselves
,
through division and manifest the will to selective amal

g a m a ti on at entirely di ff erent times Then for a long
.
period they attach them selve s clo sely to the chosen being
of like kind Now the two united ones exchange with
.
,
a ceremonious transformation of nuclei the hereditary ,
s ub stances which determine the being so that each bears ,
within himself the inheritance of both individuals Then .
they return again to the solitary state ( conj ugation ) .
O ther species live a still more complete fulfilment The .
cell—nuclei and the cell— bodies amalgamate in solemn trans

formation and then form forever one single being ( copu
,
lation ) quite as do the germ —cells of mortal living beings

,
.
I n comparison with this clear obj ectification o f the will to

selective amalgamation its expression in the life of all
,
unconscious mortal plants and animals and in a great num

b er of human being s mu st be called very inadequate .
O nly the human being who lives up to his highest poten

ti al ity re semble s the immortal unicellular organism He .
too fulfil s the ta sk of propagation from a will peculiar to

his species and experiences independently of thi s the will
,
43 2 MA TH I LDE VO N KE M N IT Z
makes this wonder symbolically clear to us through its b e
h aviour Copulation is experienced in th e domain of the
.
“
immortal living beings only by the more highly di ff er
”
en tiated which have developed single parts o f the cell
,
to cellular organs It is a curiou s fact that such unicellular

.
organisms ( as for example T r ich oni onas Intestinalis )

, ,
give up this ingenious apparatus before copulation and

take on the original form of their ancestors the form of ,
amoebae before they advance to the solemn transforma

,
tion of amalgamation The soul of man provides an an .
alogue to this It also before the cho sen one in presenti

.
, ,
ment and remembrance of the hours of bliss takes on ,
again the original form of the child s soul It too strip s ’

.
, ,
o ff all the involved di ff erentiation which the struggle for
existence has given it and rests before the chosen one ,
childlike in more than one sense

,
.
The bitter struggle for existence and harsh di sillusion

ments have long since hardened the s oul and cut it o ff
from the influence of all other human beings but it reveal s ,
it self again suddenly to the cho sen one with all the soft ,
“ ”
ness the plasticity of childhood It is this delicate
, ,
.
docility which so wonderfully rej uvenates the expression

“ ”
of the lover The curious contrast o f this receptive
.
delicacy to the man s habitual reserve bordering on infl ex

’
ib ility and his roughness bordering on hardness h as in it

, ,
something peculiarly touching ; in the woman it appears “
more as an increased originality But in View of the mostly .
so imperfect mutual influences this childlike plasticity ,
mu st be taken very seriously The wi se man will not .
lightly regard the considerable peril which the new kindled -
light of the human eye r eveals and yet he welcomes this _

,
tran sformation N othing is so inimical to the self—

. creation
of perfection as the numbing of the soul in the state of
imperfection How can flight to the heights still be p os
.
MARR I AGE As F U L FI L M EN T 433
sible for man as long as he has exalted immature p r ej
udi ces and sad mi sconstructions of reason to
“
life —prin
”
cip l es
,
and remains true to them without ever putting
them to renewed proof ? What , in comparison with this
death sentence on his perfection can the worst danger of
-
,
childi sh plasticity amount to ? E ven when the choice has

been unfortunate even when the influences are mo st un
,
favourable, the soul still has a greater chance of exp er i

en cing through it the flight to the summits of perfection
than in its mature numbness That is the rea son why many
.
a soul experiences unimagined exaltation when it liberates

itself from an unworthy union .
The return to the original form of the child soul rep

resents for this rea son also in every case an infinite gain
, , ,
becau se every man led astray by reason not to speak of ,
educational influences marches at least a considerable way

,
downhill to distortion o f the s oul A comparison of the .
adult with the child proves this at once If he n ow as .
sumes in the union of choice the ori ginal form thi s must
, , ,
in every case be a step upward in the sense of genius The .
soul —di storting monotonou s serving of a purp ose is inter

,
r up ted in a moment A s in childhood time space and

.
, , ,
profit are forgotten O nce again as before the soul of

.
, ,
fers itself to reveries and does not ask whether reason r e

“ ”
bukes them as senseless But meditating and longing
.
for the chosen one the dreamy forgetfulness o f time is a

,
wide commodiou s bridge to the transcendental experience

,
which stands above time , space and purpose and becomes , ,
for that reason from year to year less imaginable and less
attainable to the struggler for existence I f the soul has .
thus rej uvenated itself to the child s estate it is n ev er the ’

,
less far superior to it since it forfeits nothing o f the

,
wealth of its kn owledge and experiences ; n o more is it

completely dominated by the mockery of appearances .
434 MA TH I LDE VO N K E M N IT Z
A nd thus it becomes a proper workshop for the creation o f
perfection .
D elicate plasticity toward the chosen one shows also a

childlike su sceptibilit y to sensation “
L ike a heart with .
o ut a skin
”
it feel s the mo st delicate fluctuations S harp
, .
and profound are the pleasures and pains which the chosen
on e prepares A s in earlie st childhood the adult sud
.
,
“
denly sees him self again in an excess o f j oy
,
exulting ,
”
high as heaven ; and eyes which for years have not known
the tears o f sorrow overflow with su ffering as in the most ,
distant period of infancy This delicacy, an d at the same

.
time this keenness of the life of the sensations , is , how

ever o f immea surable significance on the road to p er f ec
,
tion L et thi s be empha sized with particular impressive

.
ne ss because unfortunate mi sconceptions have led to the

,
teaching that the way to perfection lies through becoming

superior to j o y and su ffering This faculty of the soul
.
,
like every other experience o f the consciou sness , wears a

double face and can lead men to Spiritual death or to per
f ecti on The perfected one experiences sorro w and pleas
.
ure with the supreme force of the divine , as far as they

are in harmony with the divine The warped soul near .
,
to spiritual death however is merely capable of exper i

, ,
en cing plea sure o r its rever s e S O the enfeeblement of

.
sen sitiveness is actually a perceptibly weighty handicap

against the exaltation of the soul and therefore childlike
,
liveliness and delicacy of sensation as selective amalgama ,
tion produces it must be regarded as a way to perfection

,
which is open to the choice of any one .
Fundamental as is thi s reduction to the child s e state ’
through the magic p ower of eroticism it is far surpa ssed ,
in significance by the simultaneous strengthening of the

godlike will to the beautiful which it creates in the s oul .
The divine will revealed in every phenomenon of the uni

,
43 6 M A TH I LDE VO N K E M N IT Z
man of genius grows to perfection I n dialogues rich in .
mystery with the G od in h is own bosom there arises in ,
h im strength for steady unyielding communion with G od ;

,
that is for an enduring life on the supercon sciou s stage of

,
the soul The spiritual calm which only such solitude

.
makes truly fruitful in man is granted him rarely often ,
only in old age when his will to selective amalgamation

,
has not found fulfilment But if in a really gifted mar

.
r iage this will has been appea sed in the most precious way ,
then the longing for solitude can awaken with unfettered

strength in the soul The monk who flees to the desert
.
unfulfilled to live there alone with his G od knows noth

, ,
ing o f the strong consciou sness of the will to solitude as

the hours of highest fulfilment in marriage awaken it in
every human being conscious of G od S o too in all cre .
ative human beings there awakens precisely the ever-r e

newed power of creation j u st in an d through union Since ,
true creation is a ssuredly always lonely communion with

G od The will to create again permits as far as it is ful
.
,
filled the will to selective amalgamation to become strong

,
and to seek communion Precisely this mutual e ffect

.
,
which becomes most conspicuous in the creative human b e

ing induces all those who believe that marriage is an unin
,
ter mitten t clinging of two people to each other to think

erroneou sly that such creative ones are unsuited for mar
r i age In truth , they are those who with all uncreative
.
,
but gifted human beings teach us that a marriage which

,
desires to be a fulfilment must o ffer solitude and duality

as well The maj ority of mankind who suppress the will
.
,
to privacy for the sake o f selective amalgamation su ff er ,
in the opposite manner the same as the ascetic who gave ,
heed only to h is will to solitude .
L ooking backward at these rich blessings o f marriage,

and then contemplating the fate of even very highly ex
MARR I AGE AS F U L FI L M E N T 43 7
alted married people in the world about us the di sparity ,
between the actual and the po ssible give s us an idea of the

manifold dangers which menace a marriage and often al
low it to become a blight instead of a fulfilment These .
are of so multifarious a nature and are fraught with

such terrible con sequences that in this short essay we mu st
content ourselves with a mere passing indication of the
wor st dangers The evolving human being sees today in
.
“ ”
the world about him , in the so called civilized states -
,
little more than sickness and depravity S ince the human .
rea s on can perceive the law s for the creation o f plea sure ,
while the unperfected will to self — preservation regards

the accumulation of pleasures as the aim o f life the hu ,
man race h as developed within itself an impulse from

which all unconscious living organisms are free : the im
p ul s e to set ablaze artificially the quiescent erotic will
through enticing glances and intoxicating poisons The .
e ffect of this is the gradual acquisition o f a malady which

I have termed chronic hyperexcitement The maj ority .
“ ”
o f men of all civilized people s su ff er from this illness ,
which a s its grave st symptom desires change and enhance

, ,
ment of the stimulus S ince the fundamental principle of

.
eroticism imperiously govern s every human life, since the

manner o f the first erotic happiness determines in a far
reaching manner the laws of the individual s eroticism ’
9
throughout h is entire life the maj ority of men have b e
,
come entirely incapable of concentrating their erotic will

con sistently on one human being ; therefore they have b e
come incapable o f monogamy The casualness o f choice.
in adolescence has made them incapable of experiencing

9 d
S ee i n Er oti s che Wi e er g ebur t : D i e k k
r a n ha f ten Fix i er u ng en d er
S ex ua li ta t A us d er S ta mmes en tw i ck lung d er S ex u a li tat, a n d E ntcwi c klung

‘
'
k b d x
,
” “
d er E r oti i m E i n zelleb en ( E r o ti c R e i r th : T h e D i s ea se Fi a ti o n s o f
“
x l
S e u a i ty ,
” “
v p
Fr o m th e R ac e De e lo ment o f S ex ua li ty, a nd De elo ment
” “
v p
I dvd
o f Er ot i c i sm i n th e n i i u a l
43 8 MA TH I LDE VO N KE M N IT Z
happiness as something holy and thus they are generally
,
un suited to a gifted marriage ; ea sily achieved sorts of

sexual happiness animal — like and fleeting partnerships are
, ,
the one thing for which they are suited if indeed they ,
do not sink far beneath the animal Contemptuous in .
sul ting of the other sex and of marriage are the proven
blinders which they put on to conceal from themselves

what they themselve s have flung away .
The female sex influenced by the dominating ascetic

,
ideal which ventures to call the plea sures o f the senses

“ ”
unclean is j ust as little prepared for the consummation
,
of a gifted marriage M oreover the sexual happine ss of

.
,
woman has been imperilled in a catastrophic manner by

the development o f the human ra ce ; and human in stitu
tions above all the subj ection of the female sex have only
, ,
increased the evil Finally the two fundamental laws o f

.
,
erotici sm which from prehuman times determined the

union of the sexes have been completely ignored There .
fore we stand confronted with the fact that in certain peo

ples sixty per cent in others eighty per cent , of the
,
women either never or only exceptionally experience hap

p i n ess in intercourse and for that rea s on live physically
,
and mentally in an entirely abnormal condition in mar

r iage . When frequent maternity does not occupy the or
gan ism mo st o f them degenerate more o r less p ronoun
,
cedl y in an over excitation o f the nervous system , some

-
becoming ill with h y steria The hazy consciousness that

.
the p oi se so neces sary to life is denied them that they ,
experience only erotic excitement cause s them to desire,
communion ceaselessly N ever will the e ff ect of that

.
poi se quiet and the longing for solitude enter into them
, ,
.
They never become mentally free for the strength of crea

tion. They cherish every minute shared with their
spouse ; they misunderstand his healthy desire for solitude
440 MA TH I LDE VO N KE M N IT Z
morality But I mu st hint at the fact that already
.
within the individual s oul the uninspired predominance of

one of the two directions produces atrophy S uch a one .
s ided predominance as between the spouses has the same
harmful influence In those shallow permanent partner

.
ships which have only the name in common with true mar
r iage, the reign o f egotism in the husband and o f altruism
“ ”
in the wife seems to foster marital peace considerably .
The wife more or less gives up her personality ; in this

way she fulfils the wish of the husband wh o most of the ,
time does n ot suspect what he is creating for himself

through this arrangement o f rank S ince such an arrange .
ment runs entirely contrary to the laws o f eroticism , the

erotic enthusiasm of the husband for the completely en
slaved wife disappears very quickly Every G retchen
“ ”
.
will be deserted without fail , even when M ephisto is n ot

present, since man wishes to woo in order to p ossess !
M oreover , mutual development of character is entirely
mi ssing and both sexes pine away in such a marriage in
,
a quite peculiar way The hu sband does not free himself

.
of the immaturities of his youth but fosters and cherishes,
his weaknes ses in collaboration with his uncritical wife .
S he herself degenerates into a caricature of her own b e

ing S he becomes a creature without the urge to indep en
.
dence, without the will to freedom without self-r esp on ,
sib ility and exhibits an exceedingly distorted human pride

,
.
Even the highest marriages stand under the evil star of

this peril There lives almost no wife , however p r o
.
n oun ced and sure of itself her personality may be , who
has not in the first decade of her marriage bent herself

with all too great a readiness to the will of her hu sband ;
who has not suppressed precious features of her person
11 S ee T r i umph d es U ns ter b li ch kei ts w i l len : M or a l d es L eb ens (
“
T ri
u mp l I y
h o f th e W i l to mmor ta l it : Eth i c s o f
” “
MARR I AGE As F U L FI L M E N T 44 1
ality When therefore after ten years the too stringently

.
, ,
bent tree springs upward it sometimes tears to pieces a

,
valuable marriage in this sharp rebound But even if this .
does not happen worthy wives go the way of soul -atrophy

,
.
There exists on the other hand n o man , however highly

developed, who has not delivered himself too much to the
egotistic course of his will in the first years o f his mar
r i age ; wh o has not in the beginning expected and occa
si on ed through love his chosen wife s sacrifice of her in

’
dependence to a stupid degree to the detriment o f the

,
higher unfolding of both !

Besides this peril of mental disposition there are still
other precipices which threaten each sex, toward which in ,
ignorance the ship is headed in secure confidence that the

, ,
strong mutual love has no dangers what s oever to fear .
But marriage , far more than life is a high art N othing

,
.
is more di sastrous than blind trust in favourable premises ;

nothing is more neces sary than a strong desire in both
spouses to shape the marriage artistically While the cli ff s .
o f sex menace all wh o are o n a higher plane they are in ,
a far higher degree dangerous for creative man and they ,
turn many marriages into martyrdoms The exchange of .
erotic bliss is rightfully celebrated as the invigorating

agent o f the p ower to create ; yet it is no less possible to
speak of a contrary reciprocal e ff ect which makes itself
noticeable quite specially in the permanent union and for ,
each sex in a di fferent manner M otherhood, with its

.
strong demands on the whole soul , which in any case may

considerably imperil the erotic happiness of the spouses ,
with all the rich fulfilment which it lavishes , has a seri

ous consequence for the creatively gifted woman ; it makes
—
her uncreative for the time being n ot in the very erro
n eous sense which man s will to domination has conceived
’
,
“
as if the desire to create were in woman a perverse im
”
pul se to motherhood and ought to be satisfied by mother
hood Every woman who knows how entirely di ff er ent
.
the two experiences are in quality will only smile at such

a fancy But the mental a n d physical claims of mother
.
hood demand for at least a decade the sacrifice o f creative

work which wounds many a woman s soul more painfully
,
’
than the outside world ever su spects Hence it is well that

.
the woman who is alive to the divine and who is creative

is capable of exp eriencing the happiness o f motherhood in
a much deeper degree than others When powerful crea
.
tion cannot follow the ten years of sacrifice when indeed ,
the husband does not see the j ustice nay the necessity , , ,
and with the best of intentions lays fetters on his wife

marriage may e ff ect atrophy of the soul in stead of f ulfil
ment In contrast to this hampering e ff ect of mother
.
hood on the creative strength of woman she exp eriences ,
on the other hand a harmony of the will to create with
sexual happiness such as is never permitted to the hus

,
band S ince with her thi s pleasure is not as with the male
.
,
sex involved in the expenditure o f millions of precious

,
germ -cells she experience s through it not debility of the

,
powers o f creation but an enhanced alertness for creation

, ,
and she can experience a perfect harmony of the two wills

for decades after the years of motherhood have passed .
In this way marriage in itself n ever endangers her creative

development e specially if the years of maternity lie be
,
fore the time of creative maturity ; it only demands in the

beginning an exclu sive surrender to motherhood an o ff er ,
ing which every woman who is not atrophied in her wom

a nh o od willingly brings to that great happiness .
O f an entirely difl er ent quality are the cli ff s and the

perils encountered by the man He too experiences the
.
highest unfolding o f his creative p owers not through as ,
ceticism but through sexual happiness

,
But the more pro .
ings even when truthful decide absolutely nothing in r e
, ,
“ ”
gard to the value of the marriage ! Fulfilment we may
call marriage only in regard to the inspired aim in life ,
never in regard to man s will to pleasure There are

’
.
“ ”
married people wh o call themselves happy in marriages
which in fact are no more than the mausoleum of their
souls A nd the nearer they are to spiritual death , the less
.
they can know that the twilight of this vault is not sun
light and that its air permits n o fre sh free breath ,
.
Therefore nothing is more foolish than to measure the

,
value o f a marriage by affi rmations of happine ss ; affi rma

tion s of unhappiness are more of an indication although ,
not a sure measure What did the marriage evoke in the

.
souls of the spouses ? That is the one j ustified question

!
,
and the one also which always wins an unbiased answer !

If on e of the spouses was nearer to G od in his unmarried
years and if in marriage he h as descended from that lofty
,
plane then the sentence of death has already been pro

,
n oun ced on it ; and even if the spouse himself should have
been guiltless of causing the descent , he has nevertheless

proved his impotence to ward O ff the fall a fact which , in ,
View of the strong p ossibility o f influence in marriage is ,
sufficient ground to condemn such a union as worthless .
But if a marriage is not good then it is unquestionably

,
bad for this cruel law rules in every marriage : either up

,
to the heights or down into the grave of the soul ! N ot

on e marriage exi sts in which the spou ses can boast that they
have remained the same after their union But the more .
talented of the two is in the greater danger since a still ,
more terrible and inexorable l aw obtains which provides ,
that if a gifted aspiring human being couples himself

,
with a narrower spirit with one that may be a harmless

, ,
“ ”
yet in significant little soul he will not be able in the
, , ,
long run to lift this shallow being into the higher atmo s
,
MARR I AGE As F U L FI L M EN T 445
p here o f
his sp irit , since it is unable to fly But on the .
other hand the little soul every day yes every hour with
, , , ,
quiet noiseless little tugs draws the great soul do w n into

, ,
its sphere ; and Very soon wounds and scars will sho w
themselves A t first they are tiny abrasions of the skin ;
.
but gradually, from year to year the inj uries become,
deeper .
Thus, every human being wh o calls marriage in its

“
highest p ossibility the inspired union o f choice f ul fil
, ,
”
ment assumes the serious responsibility of likewise prais
,
ing elective asceticism N ever not even for the sake of

.
,
“
”
the children , must a human being who is close to the di
vine exchange bli ss with on e wh o draws him down spir
i tually for only this type of union , not the common h ome
, ,
has the p ower of transformation He who has not the

.
strengt h to renounce such bliss may ex tinguish in his soul

the longing for the heights , for never will the path of
his life lead him to them ! Y ear after year he goes in
el uctab ly downward ,
whether death lays hold of him
when he has arrived in the valley or whether forever , ,
separated from G od s sun he dwells under the earth with

’
,
the gnomes and busily digs Shafts with them downward ,
ever deep er and deeper down !

A L P H O N S E ‘
M A E D E R
M a rri a ge and S el f -D ev el op men t
N this contribution a special aspect o f the problem of

I marriage will be treated to which generally very little
,
attention is paid ; that is , marriage as a factor of self

development What is the humanizing efiect o f mar
.
r ia e ? In what does this self development-

con ist , so far
g s
as it is furthered and conditioned by marital life ? M odern

individuali sm like a tidal wave has swept away the con
, ,
cep ti on of marriage which was handed down to us M ar .
r i age itself is endangered Here once for all, it is n eces

.
,
sary to provide the individualist with a n ew and deeper

comprehen sion of marital life as a creative proces s through
w hich he him s elf may arrive at a greater unfolding We .
mu st begin with stating the limitations and the on e-sided

ness of the young man If we ob serve the young man or
.
the young woman from th e standpoint of maturity the ,

“ ”
unfini shed temporary element of their condition is
,
the first thing which strikes us The reciprocal attraction

.
of the sexe s is elementary for a good rea son P hysically .
a s well as mentally there exi sts between them a mutually

,
supplemental relation ship which extends so far that one
might speak of a bipolar division o f universally human

qualities between masculine and feminine beings Thus .
,
for example conspicuous in the male are certain functions

,
of an elementary or complex character especially certain ,
phenomena such as thought moderation of will the stress

, ,
of the conscious, intellectual apprehen sion the sense of ,
44 6
448 ALP H O N S E MAEDER
the other The actual solution however, consists in the
.
,
new realization that the impulsive nature of the man in

—
love life has to be tamed through the spiritual poise of the
woman ( tamed not subdued ) , has to be filled with in
,
spiration ; and that the sensual nature o f the woman must
be aroused through the influence of the man It is similar .
with everything instinctive ( f or example the impul se to ,
domination ) in the husband which has to undergo mitiga ,
tion and socialization Another example : Woman is in

.
cl in ed to regard a nd to d o everything from the point of
View of the personal and in thi s lies the particular value

,
and charm of her relation to husband and child of her ,
influence in the home ; it characterizes her relation to all

the obj ects of her environment and makes her the true
centre of the house It is only through the per sonal that
.
the sentimental becomes active But this personal element .
—
bears within itself a danger the possibility of becoming
petty narrow-minded unj ust and subj ective The man ,
, , ,
.
on the contrary is more imper s onal more matter -o f —

,
fact ; ,
his relation to men and things is rather sober ( realistic ) or

abstract ( general ) The enriching liberating possibility
.
,
which emanates from him is the bridge to the super

personal The mutual supplementing of the two sexes is
.
obvious L et us take into con sideration yet another point

.
Thought in our culture is characterized by empha sis on the

causal and anal ytical through its intellectual and abstract
,
orientation It is most decidedly masculine thought

.
,
which e minently adapts itself to the theoretical and prae

tical conquest of N ature, especially of the inorganic and ,
— —
which has furthered nay made po ssible the develop ,
ment o f the sciences This particular and indeed sole

.
recognized way of thinking is however not the only one , ,
po ssible There exists another kind which might be

.
termed in contrast to the former imaginative feminine

, ,
MARR I AGE A ND SEL F DEVE LOP M EN T -
449
thought, but which as yet is in the beginning of its de
vel op ment and which is arrogantly treated and set aside
by the p rofession This thinking is at root rather syn

.
thetically directed and is distinguished by its intuition and

plasticity The attitude requisite to it is contemplative
.
,
in contrast to the active and aggressive attitude of mascu

line mentality M any problems hitherto raised in Vain
.
will find their solution only from this angle When .
woman once stops thinking in the fashion of man in ,
which at best she can only become an imitative virtuoso ;

when she really dares to think in her own way ( but to
think not merely to feel or to associate her spontaneous
,
ideas ) then this may lead to an amazing fertilization and

,
revolution o f spiritual life in understanding as well as in

,
action This so-called feminine thought is naturally not

.
a monopoly o f the female sex but a form of general ,
h a rn an thinking .
HE self development of man begins in the parental

-
home The child stands so to speak, in a field o f

.
,
bipolar influences the two centres of p ower being r ep r e

,
sented by the father and the mother From these two .
centres emanate enlivening checking and guiding im, ,
pulses of a special nature, in that they embody the two

essential principles of life I n t hi s way there is created in
.
the soul of the child an organ o f self-direction which in

time takes over the function o f educator But the matur .
ing being which emerges from this education is a unipolar ,
o n e-sided sexual being whose further development is con
diti on ed by the sexual being orientated in the opposite di

rection S o as both parents were for the child symbolic
.
,
repre sentations of vital powers the wife represents to the

,
husband ( and Vice versa the husband to the wife ) the

,
bearer of that which is lacking in him M ore is involved .

45 0 ALP H O N S E MAEDER
here than the desire for the attentive pleasure -giving ,
spouse ; it is that elementary desire f or experience of the

being antithetical to oneself which arises out of the pro
,
f n —
found su ering of o e sidedness and loneliness An
f .
equivalen ce o f the two married people is naturally a pre

sumption of the arising mutual relationship which h ow , ,
ever does n ot mean that husband and wife must from

,
the start occupy the same level of maturity—for then

hardly any marriage would be concluded N aturally, the .
less mature partner is obliged to confide himself partly

and temporarily to the guidance of the other N ot the sex .
,
but facts decide O ur laws, which still fundamentally

,
.
sanction and demand that the wife should obey the hus
band are barbaric and with time have become ridiculous
, ,
however much the arrangement was originally j ustified .
O nly reality determines and decides n ot the dead letter , .
Thi s guidance continues as long as the disparity of levels

exi sts and is valid only in certain spheres It frequently .
occurs that the man is superior in the intellectual ; the

woman in the practical A s conditions may arise they will
,
.
,
interchange the one or the other bearing the responsi

,
b ility or taking a subordinate r Ol e G enerally we may say

.
,
that the period of subordination o f one t o the other is a

disciplinary schooling o f his own impulses o f his wilful ,
ness and selfishness and at the same time a preparation f or

,
independence G uidance enhances strength and responsi

.
b ility This is realized successfully only where the dull

.
spirit of force has been conquered and a clear insight into

the value and significance of the individual has been
achieved The acknowledged equivalence and correspond
.
ing accountability of the married people brings with it the

development of a special degree of independence of the
one from the other The one spouse can stand before the
.
45 2 ALP H O N SE MAEDER
W E have then a rrived at the conception t hat the one

“
sided sexual being ( man woman ) possesses an
”
,
other latent side which is only Vivi fied and attains a

gradual merging into the whole of the consort s person ’
ality through life with the chosen spouse This formula .
confers a clear meaning on the idea of maturity Husband .
and wife experience through their mutual influence a trans

formation from the masculine and from the feminine into
the human being ; this is the true goal of development .
From that time on they are two human beings wh o con

front each other ; that is two beings whose sexual polar
,
on e— sidedness has undergone correction and completion so ,
that they feel inwardly changed through their develop

ment The mutual understanding of each other from
.
withi n creates a new basis o f fruitful collaboration in the

common life .
N o wonder that modern man experiences a newly-insti

tuted gradual change in his behaviour nay even in his , ,
physical form through the suppression of the barriers b e

,
tween the sexual beings through thi s interpenetration of

,
the masculine and feminine O ne frequently speaks of

.
woman becoming masculine and of man becoming femi

nine But this does not touch the e ssential but only con
.
,
sp i cuo us and exaggerated phases of what is happening

,
.
It is in fact a h uman izing o f the man and the woman .
The process has begun and until n ow has taken e ffect only
to a limited extent N evertheless the approach of the
.
,
sexes due to their p erception

,
o f —
a super sexual type, i s
already a fact This has nothing to do with the ancient
.
idea of the hermaphrodite—or according to Freud, with

,
that of a bisexual being—but with the homogeneous com

prehension of the complete man .
I n this research into humanization the physico — spiritual

completion, not so much within the marital partnership
MARR I AGE AND S E L F -DEVE LOP M EN T 45 3
as within the two married people themselves , has up to
this p oint been of principal interest to us ; but this does not
embrace the process in its totality We are in the midst of
.
still another transformation of the relationship o f hus

band and wife The equivalence of the married people
.
holds good not only in the sphere of the physical and

spiritual ( of N ature ) but equally in the sphere of the
,
intellectual ; mutual stimulation v ivi ficati on and comple

, ,
tion is likewise p ossible desirable and requisite in this

, ,
sphere .
The Christian epoch cherished and honoured woman

chiefly as wife and mother By it woman was regarded
.
,
and recognized exclusively as a sexual being S he stood .
at the service of propagation and education, at the service

o f the husband as the head of the family ; her task was
purely social The destruction of the anci en r e ginae

'
through the French R evolution the ground-swell of r o

,
mantici sm and economic sufl er ing have shaken and

,
altered the structure of society The outbreak of individu

.
a l i sm has ruptured the collective orientation of the family .
The demand for individualization has gradually taken

hold of woman also ; and not only in the form o f her
emancipation but also in her p ositive attitude toward man
,
.
S he can and will be, not only wife and mother but al so the ,
beloved S he longs to face the man of her choice as a

.
free individual irrespective o f child and family P eople

,
.
’
begin to distinguish t ypes o f women to speak o f the ,
mother wife and o f the free woman—

- beloved
both o f which types have a right to exi st But these types .
can be regarded in still another way, that is no longer as ,
two structural categories but rather as two p ossible Na

,
ture-given attitudes of woman in general This means .
that under certain circumstances a woman can be i nter

, ,
changeably or at the same time the wife and the beloved

45 4 ALP H O N S E MAEDER
o f her husband The woman has Value and dignity not
.
only as a member of the marriage partnership but al s o as

an entity in herself ; exactly like the man she has her ,
centre in herself But in marriage the centre is neither

.
in the husband n or in the wife, but rather above the two

1
in a spiritual third quantity .
M etaphorically speaking, the free woman has her

island to which she can from time to time retire The .
man must observe these new factors and tr y to adapt

himself to them With the distance thus establi shed the
.
,
attraction between the lovers a ssumes a Special tension ,
and the sexual conj unction itself a n ew significance We .
ar e still su ff ering from a one— sided p hysiological biologi ,
cal apperception of the sexual act The love-instinct was .
simply transferred from the biology of the animal into

that of the human being and thus sexuality was indissol ,
ubly connected with propagation A s long as woman was .
regarded as wife and mother this connection j ustly existed ,

.
It is di ff erent as regards the erotic relationship with the

beloved for here eroticism has n o necessary connection
,
with propagation Sexual union becomes the outward ex

.
pression o f the inward spiritual -intellectual contact , the

symbol of the tie of two fundamentally related human
beings L et us recall the sacred marriage ( hi er os
.
“ ”
“ ”
g a i n os
) o f the ancient mysteries the my s tic union o f the
mystics Of all ages—sexual union was to them a prototype
,
o f union in general M an in his loneliness and isolation as

.
an individual must ever again experience completion in the

marital partnership and in himsel f in order to become '
focused and renewed S exual union attains only under .
such conditions its deeper significance and therewith its ,
full j ustification P sychoanalysis has contributed much to

.
1 8 ee th e im p o r ta n t e xp l an a ti o n s o f M Bu b er i n I ch und Du (I a nd
I l V
.
T h ou ) , n se er l a g, 1
92 3 .
45 6 A LP H O N SE MAEDE R
Helen a profound transformation of character ( soul )
,
manife sts itself i n him Faust renounces mere enj oy

.
ment ; the man o f action awakes In a moment of inspira .
tion he visualizes his ta sk to which he pa ssionately ,
devotes himself ( the building up o f the empire ) The .
restlessly seeking active man becomes quiet contempla

, ,
tive on beholding the M ater G loriosa He is entirely

,
.
abandoned to the E ternal the Divine ,

.
M an and woman have n ot the same access to the

spiritual world ; man finds it through his thought and
creation ( work ) but woman through love L ove makes

,
.
her contemplative and receptive to the superhuman in —

“ ”
this way she can become the awakener the inspirer of ,
the beloved O ut o f devotion streams belief in the eternal

.
and the divine ; thus she becomes the symbol of the

amalgamation of the thing created with the creator , the
mediator between G od and mankind ( M ariolatry Beatrice ,
leads Dante through the seven spheres of heaven ) The .
woman believes also in the vocation and the destiny of her

beloved ; she refreshes consoles exhorts and encourages
, , ,
him ; she helps him to overcome the lonelines s o f high

individualization In the ethical sphere she readily at
.
tains a similar importance and becomes in this way the

representat i ve o f his con science ( D ante feels the first look
of Beatrice, when they meet in P aradi se as though sh e ,
were j udging him ) Corresponding completions in mascu

.
line spirituality are to be found from the woman s view ’
point In the spiritual sphere as well as in the physico

.
spiritual man and woman thus supplement each other ;

,
they thus have in common many spiritual respon sibilities

for culture which they have as yet hardly begun to dis
,
charge O ne may however still expect many great

.
, ,
things for the future from their mutual understanding

and collaboration .
MARR I AGE AND SEL F -DEVE LO P M EN T 45 7
We may sum up what has so far been said in the state
ment that husband and wife become essentially human
beings in the marital partnership Their as yet unde .
v el ope d, latent complementary characteristics are vitali z ed
and organized by what their p artner e xp eriences A .
metabolism o f the sp i ri tual and mental structure is ef

f ected in this way In the depths o f the psyche in the
.
,
midst of the realm o f the originally latent other side a ,
kind of centre of force arises which expresses itself in the

man through a feminine image ( the reverse i n the
woman ) L et us call it following Jung anima ( with
.
“ ”
,
“
the correlative animus even though in a somewhat
qualified sense Before the anima appears a compl emen
.
tary ego which has ari sen out of the longing and the ma
“ ”
turing o f the consciou s masculine I j ust as man and ,
woman stand before each other in marriage G radually .
a pair o f images is arrived at through the approach and

u nification o f the two images ; the inner dissen sion is
thereby bridged and the on e sided individuality begins
,
-
to become an undivided personality The united pair o f .
images sy mbolizes the higher self the true centre the , ,
kernel of exi stence of the human being .

2
Thi s briefly sketched formative process is characteristic

only for the O ccidental It is profoundly motivated by
.
his characteristics that his ideal o f marriage permits his

development as an individual at the side of the woman ,
for her and with her His extraverted nature ( turned to

.
the outer world ) requires o f necessity the obj ective rela

tion in order to develop itself in it The separation p e
,
.
culi ar to him between subj ect and obj ect needs to be over
come S elf instruction starts this proce ss The O riental

.
-
.
appears to reach the goal by another path His predis .
2
G o eth e s f a i r
’
y l
t a e, th e ta le o f No v a li s
’
p
S o h i e, a nd M ey r i ck s ’
l
G ol em f ur ni sh i nter esti ng a lego r i c a l re p r es enta t o n s i of th i s p r oc es s.
45 8 ALP H O N SE MAEDE R
position toward mystical introversion allows him to ex
er i en ce development not in a dis s ociated obj ect but
p , ,
rather in his own still unified subj ect ( tat twarn asi the ,
principle o f identity ) The woman does not become for

.
him as in our sense the symbol of the spiritual Thus

, ,
.
Buddha deserted his wife to go the way of spirituality and

enlightenment M arriage to him was a shackle
. .
0 far we have studied the growth of the human being ,
his self-development as conditioned by life in the

,
marital partnership This was done in the spirit of

.
psychological method N ow we shall shift our point of

.
View in order to turn to an ethical method of observation

,
.
A s long as theology dominated the thought of man in

the sphere of Christian culture the dogma that man was
,
monogamous by nature was held valid The results o f .
sociological and psychological research in the last fifty

years have established beyond doubt that thi s assumption
is contrary to the facts M ost e specially the psychology
.
“
”
o f the depths has by laying bare the processes o f the um
,
conscious demonstrated the original polygamous dispo si

,
tion o f man ( therefore of man and woman ) N ev er th e .
less the tendency toward a monogamous orientation o f

,
cultural man continues to exist in the Hebraic-Christian

world ( O ccident ) The contradiction is only apparent
. .
M arriage as a social institution is determined not only ,
through the natur al disposition o f man but also through,
the direction o f spiritual life The culture of the West

.
has decided ever more pronouncedly for monogamy as

an expres sion o f a universally characteristic tendency ,
which also becomes manifest in individualism democracy , ,
and monotheism .
The marriage problem of the O ccidental may be thus

formulated according to this View : M an must transform
460 ALP H O N SE MAEDER
and frivolou s condoning of it This fact requires a .
deeper research concerning whose general direction the

,
following mu st be s aid .
The doctor avoid s altogether condemnation or ev alua

tion It is his task to understand what is happening to
.
,
uncover the line of development to h elp him w h o i s in ,
er r or ; to b ec om e a s e eher Attraction to the fellow man

.
‘
even when it has a pronouncedly erotic colouring often ,
represents a still unconscious search for certain comple

mentary qualities a longing for the e stablishment of
,
unity and harmony within oneself Thi s seeking has a .
constructive character and must be distinguished from the

longing for amusement and from mere flight from marital
di ffi culties A clarity early acquired in regard to this
.
process makes it p ossible occasionally to understand at

traction more clearly in its imaginative sense and to adopt
a corresponding attitude Preach ing and moralizing have
.
completely ceased to be e ff ective ; they have roused stub

b or n ness and with it frivolity and dogmatic amorality
,
.
O ne helps man better and more efl ectively by assisting

him to perceive and materialize his problem He must .
be directed forward E xperience teaches us that many

.
men learn only through mi stake s Certainly many a faux.
a s has led to the renewal o f muddled marriage s In

p .
time the concept of fidelity which has hitherto been un

,
der stoo d in a more personal manner experiences a trans ,
formation to the sense of the superpersonal ; that is that ,
fidelity has to be directed more and more to the common

ideal of devotion of unity of h armony while the life
, , ,
comrade is felt rather as the Vi sible symbol of thi s N owa .
days many situations are nontypical ; no definite rules can

be e stablished Every individual ca se mu st be examined
.
anew and without prej udice But this should be the at

.
titude not only of the p hysician but also o f the patients .

l ,
I
MARR I AGE AND SE L F -DEVE LOP M EN T 46 1
M uch su ff ering d
unhappine ss would thereby be
an
avoided and a new and fertile life might gro w out of the
,
conflict s L et not the ethically sentimental reader fear that

.
through the doctor s refraining from condemnation the

’
values themselves will be aboli shed M edical art is help .
ful only until the situat i on i s cleared and the new

development is in process R esponsibility cannot be in .
grafted and it is therefore u seless even to try it H andi

,
.
caps are eliminated through medical intervention so that ,
life can unfold itself freely according t o its own laws

the valuation is generated and becomes e ff ective -in the
convalescent The p o sition of modern man i s exception
.
ally di ffi cult in that the process of individualization ex

,
tends right up to the con science and the harmonious col ,
l ab orati on of the individual and colle ct i ve components has

not yet been reached ; uncertaintie s and vacillation s of a
new kind thu s occur .
W E h aVe
followed the tran sformation of the primary
polygamous sexual to the monogamous —
-
spiritual
disposition M uch the same things may be said about the
.
tran sformation of the impul se of aggre ssion and of its

integration into the entirety of the personality The de .
sire to dominate one s nearest even in the higher spiritual

’
, ,
form of impo sing one s views and feelings on him will

’
,
yield to the service o f the common marital interests O p .
or tun i ty is o ff ered to those wh o are married to each

p
other as it i s perhaps to few other s to deliver themselves
, ,
O f the domination of an unhealthy egocentricity and ego
tism Then only will the de sire for mutual help ( Kr op ot

.
kin s en tr aid e ) be free and the ma r ried life will b e

’ ’
,
come a school of love toward the nearest one and of social

re sponsibility out of which complete human beings may
,
emerge Friendship , comradeship and other human rela

.
,
462 ALP H O N SE M AEDE R
tions like that between master and employee or between

,
state authorities and the citizen , unquestionably play an

important part M arriage owes its particular importance
.
,
in the process o f man s maturing to the close proximity in

’
,
and the continuity o f life together and therefore to the ,
ties of space and time The problem which has to be .
solved is limitless It remains a challenge of the ideal

.
,
whose influence can never be too strong for the attainment

of the necessary tension concentration and seriousness , ,
.
The difficulties to be overcome are manifold Persistence .
and patience to conquer them advance the ethical value of

man far more than the act i vi t i es o f his vocation inasmuch ,
as the marital life makes demands on the greatest part of

his personality .
It remains to demonstrate more clearly the ethical

standpoint for which this essay pleads in order to prevent ,
pos sible misunderstandings We mean that the physician .
is not supposed to play th e part of a j udge since it doe s ,
not in any case behoove man to j udge his fellow man .
But this should not be taken as meaning that we

look upon valuations as something subj ective almost ,
imaginary ( as an invention of the moralists ) or as a mere ,

“ ”
higher interest of the species in the near or further
future By no means ; we e mphatically deny every p sy
.
ch ol ogi sm While we rej ect a dogmatic attitude as not in

.
accord with the times and as inimical to life we seek to ,
orient ourselves directly to the manifestations o f life

itself All departures and deviations from the right path
.
,
and self-correction and self p unishment as well can be ~

,
gathered from life itself L if e i tself j udges M an must

.
3
.
3 S ee A M a ed er Hei lung u nd
.
,
E n trw i
c kl ung i m S eel en leb en ( Hea li ng
a nd D ev el op ment i n th e Li f e of
“
th e S oul ) , R a s ch er 85 C o , Z
u r i c h a n d'
p by
.
L ei z i g ; a n d , th e s a me a uth o r , R eg u la ti on p sy chi qu e et G uér i s o n

( P s y ch i ca l R eg u la ti o n a nd H ea li ng ) , i n S chw ei z er A r chi v f ur P sy chi a tr i e
'
und N eur o l og i e, 1 92 5 .
M a rri a ge as Mystery an d C o mma n d
I S own life s lot the fundamental fact

H
’
,
his life , has o f
been drawn and prepared for every human being .
He has not created the primary and deciding fact in his

life ; rather it has created him He has received the
, .
lot o f birth and has been born without his choice But
, .
another bond in his life which is o f similarly fateful im

portance of a similar capacity for determination and en
,
com passment is e ff ected by man himself ; it belongs to his

,
own will and to h i s own doing When two human beings .
are united in marriage they represent to each other the

,
inception of a destiny which is to become the arena of their

life s fate However much desire and illu sion the power
’
.
,
o f the attractive and the destiny of the fa s cinating have ,
seized on them and hold them , they still determine for

each other their whole life s formation , their place in
’
the W orld, their horizon It is thus that two beings let

.
their lives be born unto each other M arriage becomes the .
second lot in life the second fact of life

,
.
It is decisive for what one is what attitude he assumes ,

—
toward the facts of his life whether they simply exist
for him or whether his feelings and thought grasp them
,
.
All feeling and thinking is ultimately directed toward

destiny Destiny is the home in which the soul abides on
.
earth Here the line between the sacred and the profane
.
is drawn There is nothing more usual nothing more

.
,
commonplace than a destiny which remains unperceived ;

464
MARR I AGE AS M YS T ERY AND C O M MAN D 6
4 5
nothing more full of reason more distinguished than a
,
fate which is felt and premeditated The birth which .
man has received may make it either the one or the other
to him And so, too, may the marriage which he has en
.
ter ed into I t may mean to him the holiness of life or it

.
may become the triviality of existence an insipidity in ,
which all originality disappears When a fact becomes .
reali z ed in sensation and thought , it ceases to be Valid in

itself I t becomes the expression o f something An d all
.
.
expression in the human being is expres sion of mystery or , ,
what amounts to the same thing o f the unending and the,
eternal since the unending and the eternal enter into our
,
existence as a mystery Inability to express is incapacity

.
f or mystery What is settled and exhausted in the fleet

.
ing and finite world has n o expression True feeling and .
thought are fundamentally this feeling and thought o f

mystery In it alone the sense of life unfolds itself ; every
.
ultimate word can be sp oken only in it In G od every .
secret is ultimate clarity ; in man the ultimate clarity is the

secret That which is hidden is that which comes to light ;
.
only the secret can reveal itself P oetry and form , the .
kn owledge which is belief the thinking which is contem

,
p l ati on issue out of the power which emanates from this

,
.
The human being around whose existence a light shines i s

the man o f mystery Thus R embrandt in his last and
.
,
greatest years has painted man man as the expression of

, ,
mystery Thus are human beings shown in the Bible

. .
That also is the answer to the question of marriage

M arriage is an expression of mystery Here the line .
be tween the commonplace and the holy is drawn A s long .
as marriage exi st s only as an arrangement between two hu

man beings concluded by them , as it is by so many then
, ,
it may indeed be honourable and useful ; the two human

being s can do a great deal f or each other and they can ,
466 LEO B A EC K
well f ulfil that which is so often indicated as the moral

task of marriage namely the elevating of the natural to
, ,
the plane of the moral There is a marriage which is con

.
s ci ously trivial and it is perhaps from many p oints of

,
“ ”
View also the best ; the so called good marriage is most
-
often this What it lacks is ethical value, which is yet dif

.
f er ent from moral good behaviour from abidance by the ,
customs of the time and the law of the state The ethics .
o f marriage are the ethics of the revelation toward which
marriage develops ; it has its root in the divine mystery

that two human beings experience in one another This .
binds them together for life .
The ethics o f marriage one may almost say, can only be

,
mystic A merging with the mysterious an eternal merg

.
,
ing is certainly sought by every mystic ; for this reason

,
religious mysticism likes to take its imagery from marriage .
But how Slight is that which a Kierkegaard indicates as

the special quality o f marriage that it necessitates and r e
,
quires permanent openness and full trust ! O nly the com

monp l ace can possess such constant openness The ulti .
mate in man can certainly reveal itself, but it can never

speak out Two human beings , each with his own ego
with his m ost profound j oy and sorrow—two destinies
.
,
stand face to face and wish to become one This tension .
overshoots all preached morality T o experience the mys .
ter y in it to preserve it and to have faith in on e another ,

,
is the true ethics of marriage .
Behind that which it demands , then , there is a living

force and not merely the precept of Virtue s catechism for
,
’
,
the reason that there inheres in it an enduring longing .
A ll longing to o, is longing for the mysterious I t is n ot

,
.
a desire for something which one does not p ossess , to at

tain something which on e has lacked It does not derive .
from the senses and is never directed toward anything

468 L EO B AEC K
always revealing itself The unfaithful one is he who .
lacks mystery The bases of his life reveal nothing to

.
him neither the one which he has received nor the other
,
which he has prepared .
In trustfulness man proves that there inheres in him an

,
essence of his exi stence an enduring element in the com,
ing and going of his days The e ssence o f marriage is .
trust from mystery to mystery For the sake o f mys .
ter y and fidelity marriage is in our life

,
Without trust .
it would be only something to fill the vanishing hours or

merely the opportunity o f the senses an excitement which ,
ends in desp ondency something which dies at its birth

,
does not die in order to live , but rather lives in order to

die Through trust it is the belief of husband and wife
.
in each other in the mystery which surrounds both

,
.
A ll mystery is one As far as one G od is from many

.
gods so far is mystery from the mysterious elements and

, ,
so di ff erent S ecret s are the s ecrets of hours and instants ;

.
mystery is the secret of life E ven death does not end .
it I t ends secrets but not mystery—as it sets a term to

.
,
the hours but not the life

,
In secret s th e sense for mys .
tery is destroyed They are that which lies j ust under

.
the surface and remains beneath it holding fast to it ; they ,
appear to be depths but are really shallo ws They un

,
.
cover and display but they do not reveal ; they are always
,
talking and never say anything S ecrets with their twi .

,
light charms are games ; mystery is the sanctuary o f the

,
soul the O ne which requires the entire heart M arriage

,
.
is the home of mystery and for that reason it can be so ,
only in the marriage of one man with on e woman A dul .
ter y is the betrayal of mystery to s ecret s For that reason .
it served as a simile to the prophets of Israel for treachery

against G od G od the O ne is sold for the gods
.
, ,
.
S ecrets have their allurements ; mystery has its com

MARR I AGE AS M Y S T ERY AN D C O M MAN D 469
mand N othing can be revealed to mankind which does
.
not also command Therein that it becomes a command

.
,
and is never without a command mystery proves itself ; its

,
truth , its genuineness carries within it its sy mbol S ecrecy .
with out command is an illusion of the abyss Its eternal .
basis signifies also the perpetual ta sk this steadfast dir ec

,
tion to its goal , j ust as that which comes forth out of mys ~
ter y is alone truly problem and goal .
Again the ethics of marriage present themselves and ,
they now attain their unconditional categorical element

, .
That gives them their unswerving and undiminished char

acter that they do not arise from human arranging but
, ,
gro w out of this profundity Human beings who have

.
become to each other the mystery of marriage have

thereby become to one another the command of marriage .
They have become united and to be bound for their life

,
time has become to them thereby a divine command .
They must realize and fashion their whole life through

each other M ystery has bound them to this command ;
.
without this command no marriage could exist O ther .
wise it would be only a game with a phantom of mystery .
The command is the absolute of marriage and it is ele ,
vated thereby above all mere bonds and all destiny .
It also protects against a danger which obtrudes espe

ci ally in marriage the danger o f the everyday
,
M arriage .
was enter ed into on the flowery path o f poetry but it is ,
conducted in the realm of prose That is the grey danger

.
o f marriage .The children who are growing p those

u —
riddles which form themselves draw near and become
, ,
distant— can bring new poetry into the years but even to ,
them the drearines s of the everyday will too soon cling .
I t is seldom that marriage breaks on the tragic ; it is f r e

quent that it perishes on prose In the everyday which
.
has conquered the whole of space there live next to each

47 0 L EO B A EC K
other two human beings who have become commonplace

—
to each other marriage as prose !
O nly the command can resist this The command o f .
marriage govern s the entire life and therefore al s o draws

,
the small and insignificant hour s into i ts ci rcle I t becomes .
“ ”
the law of the everyday ; everything mu st be its ful
filmen t . To guard the mystery, to preserve the com
mand everything within marriage must have its character
,
o f divine s ervice must be accorded its poetry

,
N othing .
must be outside of the command T o the everyday of .
marriage must be given its freedom which exalts it above ,
craving and above depression—this freedom through

law This is the great venture which piety accompli shes
.
,
its sap er e aud e in that it brings religion into the every

,
“
day seizes its hours the hours of prose : when thou sittes t
, ,
in thy hou se and when thou goest upon thy way ; when
”
thou layest thyself do w n and when thou risest up This .
venture piet y accompli shes also in marriage .
The tragic too can confront marriage In desire and

, , .
intoxication or in the illu sion of a glance , human beings

may find each other and yearn for the mystery in each
other— human beings who then become contradictory to
each other and spoil each other s lives Human beings
’
.
may also gradually become antagoni stic to each other, dif

f er en t from each other It is the problem o f the dissolu
.
tion of the marriage o f the breaking of its command of

, ,
the tearing apart of its mystery which here arises This ,

.
problem is not that of marriage alone ; it is likewise that

of birth A man s own life as well with its formation
.
’
,
and its changes can become to him a contradiction and a

,
destruction ; and the problem of separation from h is own

life confronts him N ot less important and not less seri
.
o us than the question of la y ing hands on one s own life

’
,
that cleavage from existence on earth is the question of ,

J O S E P H B E R N H A R T
M a rri a ge as a S a c ra ment
proclaim the sacredness of marriage in this age is to

T
o
be a preacher in the wilderness For many reasons .
it has lost its connection with the E ternal as indeed the ,
E ternal it self has lo st the significance with which it once

appeared giving and demanding in the religion of hu
, ,
manity The secularization o f marriage by the state was

.
only the result and expression o f the common worldliness

or turning toward worldliness o f that which was previ
o usly supramundane conceived as the maj estic autonomy

,
of the divine In the three thousand year periods of his

.
-
tory which may be taken in at a glance , rifts in the dams

between G od and M an have repeatedly appeared ;
“ ” “ ”
today thought and the sense o f life have almost come to

renounce the belief that under the rushing waves any
dam still remains or may ever again appear N ot with
, .
right or wrong but exclusively with the fact of this belief

, ,
or rather non belief are we concerned at the point where

-
, ,
the common life of the sexes forces the question : Do we

—
rea lly take h old of it as animal s might arranged indeed
according to the aims of the individual who seeks his own ,
happiness and of s ociety which for its welfare must

, ,
maintain moral s rules and regulations ? O r do we grasp

, ,
it in a fundamentally di ff erent manner —as a matter

which is to be raised and transformed above N ature even ,
above the purpo ses of society into some further realm ,
o f a higher but n ot less peculiar legitimacy ? Then of ,
472
MARR I AGE AS A S A C RA M E N T 47 3
course, marriage and marriage above all else would have
, ,
to be regarded as a sphere in which mortals may pass from

N ature into a state above N ature , into a domain o f quite
different quality and in ward order This course may .
have its outlet and its end in an existing religion ; it may

be the result o f a clear and p rofound comprehension of
the essence o f marriage ; but it is no longer the course
along which the thought and behaviour of all p eople
move The R oman Catholic Church alone honours and
.
protects it and accepts none other as right even though

, ,
it be therefore deserted like an A lpine pass which has

lost its traffi c to innumerable more convenient ways and
means The prophet in the wilderness , forsaken of man
.
kind will preach to the stones ; for the voice o f his mis
,
sion is stronger than sorrow for the void that surrounds

him H e also knows that the highest value and dignity
.
once won by humanity on its road remain in its memo r y

as the silent measure o f things He also has faith that
.
the dull credulity o f the five senses cannot remain the

last word on the mystery o f existence ; and that man ,
while he remains a moot question to h imself ever and ,
again takes the changeless elements of his species and its

scene o f action as allegory that the basis o f the world is
at on e with itself, while the vacillation which is apparent
is an attribute of man in motion .
I f we are now to consider the question o f th e sanctity x
of marriage it will be nece ssary to proceed from the

,
simplest premise in regard to our conception of man and

o f the world for the sake o f purity as well as for the
,
power of our insight It shall be only this : that man is

.
here to recognize order and to bring him self within it .
Then only the preliminary question remains to be an

swe r e d what we mean by sacrament
,
N othing but What .
yields itself for marriage, from the original sense of the

,
J OSE P H B ERN H ART
word, which signifies the R oman soldier s oath to his ’
colours : that it i s holy and that once created through the

, ,
reciprocal vows of the consummators acting of their own ,
free will it rema i ns indissoluble forever In sharp con

, .
tr adi cti on to the modern usage which calls the dissoluble

“ ”
contract o f the sexes for living together marriage the ,
spirit of language itself ari ses against the falsification o f
this word For marriage was once called E w a which

.
,
signified both law and eternity and in regard to hu sband

,
and wife meant a perpetual bond an inseparable belong ,

— “
ing to each other simply that same sacrament ”
.
HE course of our research proceeds from the historical

T fact o f sacramental marriage examines its personal
,
and sup r ap er son al bases as to the holiness of its e ssence ,
and seeks a correspondence between the inner piety of the

h oly marriage and the fundamental features of O ccidental
Christianity as it exists today .
.I The religious ceremony at the conclusion of a mar

r i age is not in every sen s e an expression o f a religious com
prehension of its fundamental essence A s a primitive .
means of alliance with the powers o f prosperity in de ,
fence against the powers of destruction, it is found even

where the union o f the sexes has nothing to do with the
world o f ethical aims A lso among the cultured people
.
,
o f the ancient E a st and West the religious sanction is

,
still far from establi shing the bond of husband and wife
as the moral and indi ssoluble welding o f a pair into a
unit There remained entire or partial freedom for the
.
husband s capricious pleasure while the wife was far

’
,
more strongly bound to the law and cu stom of chaste ad

h er en ce to her spouse E xample s o f the sacramental
.
conclusion of marriage within the legal institution of

monogamy appear among the R omans and P ersians .
47 6 J OSE P H B ERN H ART
taking it as a representation of i ts union with Jehovah ,
from which E mmanuel the man conceived in G od should , ,
arise Confucius considered marriage as an image o f the

.
connection between the bright spirits of heaven and those

o f earth The myth of the heavenly marriage of the
.
sun with on e of the astral sons of G od ( morning star ,
evening star or moon ) a tradition of the Aryan peoples

, , ,
transformed its natural -religious character in the progress

o f the ages as wedding ceremonies of humans combined
,
-
with it as the magic background of worship into the sense ,
of a metaphysical supp ort of an archetypal ideal happen

ing The marriage of the Hindu godde ss of light , S fir y a
.
,
the Hera of the G reeks and the Juno of the R omans b e ,
comes a prototype of human wedlock and bestows a sus

taining consecration on that marriage which is concluded
with reference in wor ship to the heavenly precedent .
Those divine wives demand o f all those wh o wed the

same fidelity and chastity as that with which they are
devoted to their husbands The ideal patroness seems to .
embody herself anew in every woman who con summates

marriage The prototype of the heavenly couple reap
.
pears wi th the R omans and elsewhere in the establi sh

ment Of that priestly couple the Flamen Dialis and the ,
Flaminica Bound together in the old ceremonious form

.
o f the c onf ar r ea ti o they represent Jupiter and Juno in

,
their ritually ordained life together made noble by most ,
delicate morals and ofli ciate at the marriages which are

,
concluded according to the rite of the c onf ar r eati o ad ,

1
ministering the ble s sing o f the divine married couple .
Thi s feature of the portrayal which has its counte rpart ,
on another plane in the setting up o f exemplary marital
alliances ( like those between N ala and Damayanti in the ,
1 L eo p ld o von S c h r oe d er , A r i sch e Relig i o n (

“
Ar y an l
R e i gi o n 1 91 6
II pp
.
Vo l . .
, .
392 ff .
MARR I AGE A S A S A C RA M EN T 477
M ahabh ar ata and O dysseus and P enelope ) has signifi
, ,
cance for our purp ose primarily only as a fact in the his
tory of religion ; even outside of Christianity the bond ,
of the sexes strives to raise itself from its mere natural
basis upward into a metaphysical realm o f inward shaping

and sanction .
2
. T o demonstrate the p rogress and the deepening o f
the above -mentioned idea in Christendom where it has ,
become the innermost nerv e o f the sacramental under

standing of marriage, the M osaic basis of Christ as well ,
as His own position and its religious and moral motivation ,
must be discussed .
The practical result of the precepts o f Jesus on mar

r iage in the E vangelists finds i ts most conclusive state
“
ment in S t P aul ( I Cor
. A nd unto the mar
.
ried I command yet n ot I but the L ord L et not the wife

, , ,
depart from her husband : But and if she depart let ,
her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband :

,
”
and let not the husband put away his wife This com .
mand which a ff ects R oman as much as Jewi sh j ur ispr u

,
dence is based on a revolutionary line of thought The

,
.
post -exile period of Judaism had overcome the p olyga

mous character of ancient Israel which was not prohibited,
by any command and had approached the monogamous

,
custom o f the G raeco— R oman world ; but the polygamy

o f successive unions which was in vogue at the time of
,
Jesus in consequence of the laxity of the R abbinical

,
schools ( especially that of Hillel ) insisted on the permis ,
sion of the M osaic law f or the husband to send his wife

back to her old family clan with a bill of divorcement ;
that is a certificate in writing that he had separated him
,
self from her and that she was once more free to dispose
o f her p erson Jesus opposes this marriage law with the -
.
whole force of H is Verily I say unto y ou

“ ”
Not that H e .
4 7 8 J OSE P H B ERN H ART
“ ”
wrecked th e entire law : He builds up the half-finished
work of M oses which for Him rest s on G od s good ba se s
,
’
,
to the dizzy height of its logical end He goes back b e .
yond the l aw of S inai to the order of P aradise M an was .
“ ”
created as hu sband and wife and once yoked together ,
the two are as on e flesh nevermore to be separated by ,
human p ower Divorce is adultery if the divorcing or the

.
divorced party enters on a new marriage S uch was the .
law from the beginning ; the freedom of the bill of di

v or cemen t was h owever a concession by M oses to the
, ,
Jews who in their obduracy resisted the original sense and

,
seriousne ss of marriage It is indissoluble and so for the

.
,
one as well as for the other part ; for the husband and
wife are equal to each other in birth since they both share ,
in the on e image of G od “
Have ye not read that he who
.
,
created man al s o created woman ?”

O f so sensitive a 2
delicacy however i s the holy bond that a covetous glance

, ,
at a third person destroys it .
Jesus comprehension of marriage is as free from j uris

’
tic as from ascetic elements G od s creation is good in .

’
,
“
cluding the sen sual intercourse o f the sexes The one .
flesh once united by G od sundering with its might all

”
,
“ ”
,
the other ties of N ature is the basi s and demand for a

,
unity and community o f a higher nature N ot only in .
View of the new order of all things following the catas

tr op h e o f all that was earthly which was believed to be ,
near not only the heroic ethics of the man of the K ingdom
,
of G od in which he shall stand for approval before the

,
e yes of the O ne the P erfect ; but more and deeper still

, ,
the law of the winning of life through its renunciation ,
the l aw o f the higher form o f human existence arising

from the connection with the higher forms requires in ,
2 d y
8 0, a c c o r i ng to th e o ld S r i a c t r a n s l ati o n, r ea d
th e r e ol uti o n a r v y
w or d
s i n M a tt . c onc er ni n g th e equa l r i ghts of th e s e es ef o r e G o d x b .
4 8 0 J O SE P H B E RN H ART
the transformation o f the temporary and evil through the
medium of the E ternally G ood and P erfect The Jew
-
.
ish heritage of the contrasts o f two worlds and world

periods becomes associated with forms and contents of
ancient thought, to fashion the message which has come
down from Je sus into dogmatic teaching But what Jesus .
applied to the Father in Heaven Paul applies to the

“ ”
,
Chri st which Jesus became for him He makes Him into .
an axis of the world o f yesterday today and forever In

, ,
.
Him as the centre an d the source of life he applies and ,
founds the still half-Visionary bond of those who adhere

to Christ and writes a con stitution for it In spite of
,
.
the unworldly a spect of the trend of his communal ethics

“ ”
and o f all o ff ensives against the body of sin he employs ,
asceticism as a means to his will for construction In the .
“ ” “ ”
struggle against the Ol d for the creation of the new
man he is led up on the way of the spirit , which repudiates
,
sensuality and whose goal and might and figure are the
,
Chri st , in Whom we must live Toward Him the course

.
o f marriage is likewise directed and if it indeed must

,
—
exist it would be better if man refrained from it then—
let it endure according to the command of Jesus as a ,
h oly and indissoluble bond ; yet in a still deeper sense as

,
a mystery through Him and upon Him The flesh twain

,
.
and on e—this great s ecret is the same in the exchange of

love between Christ and His community as in the unity of
marriage The ancient idea of the imitative founding of
.
marriage in a supramundane relationship of devotion r e

turns and mixes the moral es sence o f indi ssolubility with
a mystic element The Chri st of the Faith finally took
.
the r Ole of the ancient L ogos ; and by this means philo

sophical thought al s o declared it self for the religious
character o f sacred marriage It is explicitly named as a
.
sacrament in the old broad sense of the ancient myster i on

, ,
MARR I AGE A S A SA C RA ME N T 48 1
o f the symbolic materiali z ation of a hidden metaphysical

reality ; and the concept brings itself ever more clearly
to the indication o f indissolubility It is however such
a sacrament—this A ugustine says—b y reason of its nature
.
, ,
and idea n ot on the strength of its Christian consecr a

,
tion While, since the days of P aul marriage had to

.
,
fight f or its existence and its divine right against its denial
in G nosticism and M anichaeism nay again st the hybr is
, ,
o f virginity a philosophical and mystical cultivation o f

,
marriage had already developed The idea of sacredness

.
here proves a breakwater to the perils on either side .
The deep suspicion against the panther-beast in man de

mands the Shackl ing of the impulse which h ad wrought
destruction in the R oman E mpire o f the West ; it is now
considered as the most powerful cause o f ethical disorder ;
but this habitual evil of the libido becomes of value in the
service o f a marriage which on the sexual foundation
erects the temple of p ermanent moral union If the .
sexual union sublima-tes itself to car itas of which it is the ,
symbol ; if the holy G od spirit on which re st husband

-
,
and wife with their common eternal quality is maintained ,
above the tension o f the sexual nature as a third and

higher element then such a bond o f trust of the spou se s
,
between themselves and toward G od is not less charism

than Virginity Holy in its essence marriage is also holy
.
,
as a task of participating loyally and steadfastly in the

birth pangs of the Church f or the spiritual , godlike hu
man being .
The mediaeval Christian period and likewise the Cath

,
olic Church o f our times has not added any new thought
,
to this .The fundamental preference for virginity for ,
the sake o f a higher fruitfulness was always matched by

,
the praise o f holy wedlock ( sanctuin c onj ugi ui n ) the ,

“ ”
order of marriage , which was to surp ass the religious
4 8 2 J OSE P H B ERN H ART
through the direct divinity o f its establishment and the
still more profound persistence o f its rule Its e ssential .
sacredness found beautiful expression in the R oman pre

cept ( the G reek church thought otherwise ) that the peo
ple entering into marriage while they verbally guarantee
,
their will to marry should themselves admini ster the

,
sacrament to on e another Against all attacks of the .
sophistry of impul se and the pantheistic dissolution o f

dogmatic foundations the idea Of marriage has main
,
tain ed itself in the consciousness o f Christendom as a bond

sacrosanct in it self by its natural character L ike the .
whole order of human beings it was supported by the ,
great structure o f the religious cosmos in which the world ,
o f space and time was observed from the other world of
the disposing G od and in which man and the human were

,
not aim and goal in them selves but rather the material ,
and subj ect of G od for the supramundane and ab s olute

,
end .
When Luther in the surge of his chaotic nature will

, ,
ingly or not de stro y ed a thou sand year -old order he

,
-
,
demolished the old sacred marriage as well Through .
his overstressing o f a religiou s motive he brought about ,
the tragic revolution o f the secularization of morality ,
and likewise of marriage The G od in the heart is always

.
molten to nothingness by the heat of the human and has ,
done His human work under the empty name which r e

mained to Him .
“
Thou dost not owe G od anything save ,
to believe and confess In all other things He makes

.
thee loose and free so that thou mayest do as thou wilt

,
without danger of conscience ; nay He does not even ih ,
quire for His sake even if thou wouldst cast away thy
wife and run away from thy master and f ailest to keep
thy bond For what is it to Him whether thou keepest
.
,
such a thing or l eav est it ?” “

G od is n ot concerned by the
484 J OSE P H B ERN H ART
quires its most difli cult presentation There is then p ri .
, ,
marily the knowledge t h at marriage as a private and as a ,
public matter is involved with the most mobile elements

,
of historic happenings : faith attitudes to the world and , ,

“ ”
customs That essence does not reveal itself in every
.
epoch , and within a given epoch not to every stratum o f

civilization , in all its aspects and still less in its ultimate
,
depths An d if it were to be definitely assigned, f or a

.
time, a place in historic life the comparative valuation , ,
and much more the determining o f norms , would depend

,
j ust the same on these mobile elements Thus the nat .
ural law could well be re c onciled with the rej ection of

polyandry but not with that of pol ygamy while in the
, ,
di scus sion o f indissolubility it could not get beyond ac

,
knowledging that this was a very highly desirable form .
For only when the guiding laws of moral consciousnes s

have affirmed themselves through the experiences of so
ciety, through the di ff erentiation and integration of per
s onal life and po ssibly also through a kind o f agreement
o f the best ; when i n a word a moral ideal governs the

, ,
peoples of one cultural structure at least in secret validity ,

—then resting on such grounds a moral relation of the
, ,
”
historically changeable regulation of marriage can be sub ~
j ected to the question o f its essence While we apply .

,
for the time being in order to arrive at a firm ground o f

,
discussion the name of marriage to the dissoluble tie as

,
well through whose recognition the civil law o f today

,
permits succes sive polygamy we shall lay our ban on the

,
parti san s of p olygamy and of the fundamentally esthetic

and pleasure -seeking concept of life With them we .
have no common ground of discussion .
N ow for the intellectual examination the reality of

, ,
marriage is designated as nature ( physi s ) desire ( ero s ) , ,
and morality ( ethos ) O f these three elements which in

.
,
MARR I AGE AS A SA C RA M E N T 8
4 5
the L ogos o f the entire phenomenon are certainly as in
ter wov en with o n e another as in the drama o f life let ,
us endeavour to understand the indwelling requisite o f

sanctity .
I The sense o f every community reposes in a third

.
thing suspended above it Friendships alliances peoples ,

.
, ,
nations are more than the sums of their members That

, .
o f which a community has been formed o r established is
expressed in a flag and fashions itself to the genius which

is the mainstay o f the whole Sexual union as the most .
,
elementary engenders also the most elementary symbol

,
o f its bond : the child A risen from the selfish it turns

.
,
itself against selfishness and seals the sexual tie as a

moral bond With it arises as has so often been stated
.
, ,
the most p owerful advocate o f h oly matrimony But the .
fact of this p ower stands and falls with the p ower o f the
fact The p olygamous marriage al s o which was less o f
.
,
a hindrance to stable relationships in its patriarchal form

than the soluble monogamy o f today knows how to deal ,
with the child ; and where it is missing should the sacra ,
mental tie between the spouses be missing with it ? From

them and not from the child antiquity has already pro
, ,
n ounced ( we here di sregard the Bible ) the p ostulate of
duration and fidelity When P enelope had already for

.
a long time gone unimitated, when the marriage practices

ran counter to E uripides words
’ — “
to love on e wedded
wife and not tw o in the manner o f barbarians was the
, ,
”—
G reek custom A ri stotle led the way back to the good
primitive state pronouncing that the union o f the spouses
,
took place not merely that they might live with it , but
that they might live one through the other in perfection ;
marriage was self perfecting union in sexual contrast
-
,
therefore permanent and exclusive and every union out ,
?side o f it was wrong The humanism of the middle stoa

.
48 6 J O SE P H B ERN H ART
h as deepened this thought — “
unus h omo nullus h ont o
—and has deduced from the pure idea of man and so
c ie ty the concept of marriage which entered into R oman
law and continues in its essence to live also in the more

, ,
recent idealistic philo sophy With it the purely natural.
view is vanquished ; the husband and wife of equal right , ,
are summoned to their Share in the alliance aspiring

toward moral unity from the polar pairing o f nature ;
the sublimity of this knowledge may in the future be given
up by the practices of life and by social theories but ,
never by the innermost conscience o f cultivated man .
This is however n ot sufli cient to establish the sacra

“
, ,
mental character o f marriage the imperishable sanctity ,
of its bond For this L ogos o f alliance to physical and

.
moral union cea sed to be binding where the material was

lacking for its realization In the face o f the internal
.
ruin o f the community it could explain of its own right :

It has dis s olved itself its parts are not pledged to each
,
other any longer and each one is free to enter into a new
,
union It is inconte stable ; j ust the refining of personality

.
,
the complete internal equalization o f the position o f the

sexes ( with the consequence today o f the economic self
reliance of the wife ) but chiefly the reference to emo
,
tion al i nwardnes s to the demands of con science in the

,
point of agreement o f beliefs and action s—all this has

wonderfully deepened succes sful marr iage but in s o ,
doing has made success more di ffi cult Its problematic .
character grows as marriage is removed from the basis of

N ature and transported to the height of the spiritual and
the moral Yes the moral indeed threatens the sacra
.
,
“
ment .
”
D oes this need explanation ? O ne knows the
“ ” “
fate of the inwardly untrue relation ship from moral
”
motives ; on e also knows how soon how often the Cana ,
—
marriage p itcher stands waterless and that there is an
-
48 8 J O S E P H B ERN H ART
being In the span between the sub moral impulse and
.
-
the gravity of the moral world being a person he again

, ,
and again feels the confl i ct ar i smg from this double order .
No matter in what o n e may recognize the personalizing

principle it always appears as superior to the blind world
,
of impulse , and its last result is personality which before ,
all ( I do not speak here o f G od ) exists as an aim for itself

in itself But j ust this independence which is its dignity
.
is also the basis of a liberty limited by that dignity ; nay,

a liberty which loses in freedom of what is permitted as
the height o f the dignity increases P ersonality is or
.
dained as the highest law o f its nobility not to be sub ,
d by nature or by any peril to its dignity o f i n dep en d

j ec t e
ence S uch peril is given in its destiny to exi st f or an

.
—
other The tendency to devotion whether it is in its
.
affi rmation o f existence a Christ -like self— commitment

with the aim o f completion and expansion or , from its ,
negation o f existence, the expectation of being extin

u i h d in Buddhistic self surrender ( Buddhism covertly
-
g s e
according infinitely more importance , if n ot indeed to the

world at least to the ego as the world as the sole reality
, , ,
than does Christianity to which it is only the symbol and

,
—
shadow of the divine univer al reality ) the tendency to
s
devotion is bound to the command of nobility in the free

personality : that it shall not become an obj ect I f it once .
with the whole o f its exi stence has entered into a union
with the t otality of another, with i ndeed the will to en
during full union—and this is the ca se of the m on oga
,
mous marriage—retreat leaves the partners n o longer as

whole human beings but used properties N either meta
, .
physics nor religion is required to prove this dignity of

the person as a non -obj ect o f a being which is not merely
,
animal But if it is once recognized as holy in the sense

.
of its own self-directe d sovereignty then the most com

,
M ARR I AGE AS A S A C RAM EN T 8
4 9
p l ete exi sting amalgamation of persons is holy and in
destructible ; and it is a matter of the same importance
whether the being who gives up the bond of his own free
will ( there is n o such thing and never will be as a rending
asunder ) treats the other partner or himself as an obj ect .
The domestic servant , the labourer , the offi cial , every

partner to an agreement in the pursuit of non personal -
aims , is dischargeable or exchangeable ; but where the

personal itself comes into play as basis of a union there ,
grows with the depth and breadth of contact the com

mand of duration and exclusiveness W h o would want to .
ap p eal to his freedom at this point ? H e could only mean

the freedom of the beast which allies itself changeably
,
with whom it will not the freed om to preserve his ulti

,
mate dignity in power against the impulse and intrigue of

N ature N ature the perpetual builder the perpetual
.
, ,
destroyer blindly friend and foe o f the order o f spirit

,
and of soul , nourishing and wasting it creates good and ,
evil also in the bond of the sexes Here is at play the .
chaotic magic o f impul se the kindling o f fires relation

, ,
ships Of choice all that in the earthly realm o f the moral

,
p roduces j oy and sorrow But .in this same N ature ,

f o r
all its fickle luxuriance an admonition to fidelity is per

,
cep tib le .I n the language o f the religious man : It sighs

f or the revelation promised to the children o f G od The .
bond of love entreats a boundless length o f intoxication ,
an eternity of po ssession and o f being p ossessed S till .
more , the exchange o f the bodily leads the spiritual as

well in a singularly binding way to a sharing o f j oy an d
, ,
“
sorrow . I breathed out my soul in the first kiss Why .
is it that I torment myself as to whether it found a

,
house ? ( Ar nim )
”
.
“
A nd the kiss remains within ”
( G oethe ) means : By conj ugal love the moral being ,

in
man is aroused and called to take over the exp erience into
490 J O SE P H B ERN H ART
its j urisdiction and there to perfect it in its own fashion .
A secret feeling f or the logic of this perfection is part o f

each love but if the fatalism o f a passion of the Tristan
,
and Isolda or P aolo and Francesca kind does not chain

the couple together forever and to all eternity, there
gather about it a hundred causes o f decay ; and decay can
n ot be arrested unless from beyond ,
“
N ature, free, ex
”
alted powers of knowledge o f will , or of faith elaborate

,
the happening o f N ature lead it forth into the sphere o f

,
a n ew order and lawfulness This however will be per

.
, ,
ceiv ed by morally develo ped human beings even in the
morning of love Then the condition o f forfeiture gov

.
erns forever Thus it has been said by mediaeval scho

.
l asticiSm in a dry sentence of the schools : The eternal du

ration of the bond lies in consent ; otherwise it does not ,
establish marriage ( Thomas A quinas ) The Catholic .
Church says that marriage is h oly and religious N ature ;

not by Virtue o f an added human convention in Christen
dom and elsewhere as an agreement of free wills it is in
, ,
itself essentiall y a sacrament A s such it proves itself

.
more deeply still in the inner law and sense o f the marital
E ros in its inborn destiny to be seized by the right o f
,
superhuman powers by reason of which G oethe too un

,
dersto od marriage as a mystery in the sense o f the Chris

tian sacrament .
3 I n the course o f the bridal E ros to the married

.
state the way from flower to fruit a consistent order is

, ,
consummated ; and it rests with man to decide what sort

of fate he will allo w it to become for himself I n the .
s exual sphere the conflicts o f man and woman and o f
flesh and spirit are crossed and in the vortex o f their point
,
“ ”
of intersection the destiny of human being is decided
“ ”
for the man and for the woman as the destiny marriage ,
for the two , or rather o f the on e which they desire to be

492 J OSE P H B E R N H AR T
merging o f all the p ossessions of the j oined natures .
Their agreement in the mere state o f N ature j ustifies it

self before the higher court o f personality only as a sym
b ol of moral intertwining Through it alone is the sex
.
u ally created bond sati s fied In this knowledge lies the

.
demand f or indissolubility ( as f or Kant and Fichte ) .
It results further from the natural law of transforma

tion o f the eroticism o f a single pair Whoever submits .
to it and does n ot, in order to perpetuate the sensual pleas

ure, leave his work o f beginning as an unfinished torso ,
finds himself on the road to the eternal significance of

sensual desire He perceives the way if his E ros liber
.
,
ated from the bondage of N ature becomes open-eyed ,

.
This is the course o f the voyage to the promised shore ,
which does not yet reveal itself truly in the first dawn of
the promise It lies in the twilight of knowledge that
.
fulfilment of passion has likewise been deliverance from

i t.
D oes it mean also deliverance from the partner ?

The time comes when our inner potentialitie s contest
the throne ; disunion with oneself and with it the menace
,
of disunion of the tie The crisis is nothing less than

.
a cri sis between N ature and culture Here passion and .
love sacrilege and sacrament become separated Er oti

,
.
ci sm turns back to N ature to renew itself and repeats in
its oath before a third presence the words o f the broken

one ; o r it submits to the law of transformation in some
other form N ot separated from N ature but free from
.
its compul sion it then steps over from love ( arn or ) to

,
“ ” “
a ff ection ( car itas ) from I love you to I hold you
,
”
dear . The third presence which now appears is n ot the
countenance of an adulterer but rather that o f the angel
,
'
who binds them He has extinguished the fl aming sword

.
o f the expulsion , since the creation o f the bond beneath

MARR I AGE As A S A C RA ME N T 493
the Tree o f K nowledge is expiated and blessed by the
fidelity which has p reserved it The angel tr ansfigur ed .
,
E ros himself protects marriage as a school of humani za

,
tion I t stands like all righteousness under the sign o f

.
, ,
renunciation which is the irremissible path to personal

,
perfection The ingenuous quest for happiness though

.
,
it might be the right of the childlike man is exchanged ,
by the clever man for the struggle for inner form The .
superiority of b eing over h aving presents itself in an ever

clearer and more pressing way and marriage is the un ,
ceasing opp ortunity to p erceive and to complete the str uc

tural la w o f existence I t lets itself be understood as
.
the symbolic case of the ego world tension , like the p olar
-
duality of the entire universe But like a drama the .

, ,
acute conflict between the individuals as representatives

cannot be wilfully suspended at any p oint ; f or its meaning
can only be understood from its natural end : the tran sition
from Eros as motive -p ower o f life around the centre of
the ego to E ros as the force which moves the ego around
the timeless universe of valuation , in which it is mys
ter i ously founded But this knowledge which thus is the
.
,
fruit o f love in its turn marvellously increases love in

,
height and depth A t the p oint when marriage produces

.
boredom between frivolous souls so that only habit makes ,
them still fare together across insipid wastes for others ,
a tr ansfigur ation o f passion takes place “

M arriage : thus .
I call the will of two persons to create that which is

more than they wh o have created it R everence toward .
each other I call marriage, as toward tho se desiring such

a will ( N ietz sche ) T o those who have p o sse ssed b e
”
.
tween and above themselves a higher third as an immov

able mover the way of trust and patience gives reward in
,
“ ”
the fulfilment o f the eternally which the passion o f
the beginning has vowed But what now comes to pass is
.
494 J O S E P H B E RN H A RT
“
°
”
eternity of a di fl er ent kind Thou becomes a symbol
.
to the Thou ; A men to that tru st in exi stence testi

“ ” “ ”
,
mony o f good will which binds all beings guaranty for

, ,
the O ne and All in on e most exalted value The sacra .
ment stands unveiled and unveiling between those who

have come toget h er in its name O n it rests on it feasts .
, ,
“ ”
the glance of the eyes which after the in one another,
“ ”
o f bridal love and the for on e another of wedded love ,
together rest on the likeness to which their union , r eceiv

ing here its significance has develo ped
,
.
When viewed and lived in such a way the sacrament of ,
marriage is the most worthy reply to that covetousness

of N ature which is called love That also was G oethe s .
’
“
opinion : Indissoluble it must be There is no suff i cient .
”
reason for separation .
N one ? The law—books say otherwise and the great ,
E uropean tradition of holy marriage has already been de

stroyed throu gh the right to divorce The Catholic .
Church alone holds fa st to it even at the cost o f the de

,
f ection of the insubordinate Its marriage law grows out

.
-
of the idea of the institution of G od s will and grace and ’
is like everything Catholic decided by the sovereignty

, ,
of the matter itself over the persons The logic of sanc .
tity ignores the individual s fate and is deaf to the protests

’
of the exceptional case to yield to which means the vio

,
lation of the principle and the recognition of the contra

dictory logic o f chaotic N ature Where the foundations
.
o f marriage are destroyed di ssolution of living together

,
is permitted ; but never either for the guilty or f or the

,
guiltless party is remarriage with a third conceded I n

, .
this gravity o f the tragic appears n o more than the gravity

of sacredness and the plaint of the happ iness so sacrificed
,
is not more weighty than the moral value which it pre

tends to possess In every case this is slighter th an the
.
496 J OSE P H B ERN H ART
which has i ts centre of gravity anywhere save in the
thought of the partnership which is perfecting itself the ,
bond with a reservation , as if only in play u ses a mere ,
—
slip knot for the tie .
“
I f the case of the man be so with
his wife , it is not good to marry ( M att 1 9:
”
The
.
word religion is upon my lips and the reader s , and it is ’
time to pronounce it .
T H E obj ection will be rai ed that we have rather dis

s
closed the character o f the sacramental marriage

than advanced proof that marriage is sacramental in
essence The answer lies as close to hand : The concept
.
of the holy which is involved points to an ultimate im

mutable dictation o f the moral the reasons for which ,
cannot be shown without trespassing on the realm of the

metaphysical and of faith T o put it otherwise : The
.
moral reaches out beyond itself and this other world can
,
be grasped only in assertions in dogmatic explanation of

,
world and of existence The fact that marriage has come

.
to be acknowledged as a holy relationship permits the

elucidation o f this sanctity but it does not extend to the
,
“ ”
fathoming or establishing of the value holy itself .
Here the prime phenomenon o f the religious arises before

us and thanks to the connection between it and the entirety
,
o f man wh o is held and determined by it unto his inner

,
most es sence the last word on marriage as a holy bond

,
falls not to knowledge but rather to faith O n faith

, .
alone every personal decision in matters o f marriage is

based and faith remains also the ultimate and most
,
“ ”
powerful factor where knowledge has said its yea to
the holy character of marriage .
This state of a ff airs then decides our course as a progress

from seeing to contemplating fro m the Obj ective to the
,
personal ; and whoever opposes it, since he does not wish

MARR I AGE AS A SA C RAM E N T 497
to be led into the uncharted darkness o f a personal world
of belief may dispute with the nature of things itself
,
about the failure o f all logic in the question concerning

—
humanity in its analysi s That connection between
religion and marriage still requires, therefore another ,
examination But while the p erspectives o f this matter

.
run in every direction into the infinite, this only shall be

considered : What is the mutual efiect between the per
“ ”
f ect marriage , that is not the hap py marriage but that
,
which materializes according to its essence and the com ,
mon religious element of the religions of faith ( not , then ,
o f Buddhism which is a religion o f negation consistent to

,
the p oint of absurdity, and therefore als o of unbelief ) ?

First the fact must be considered that the highest r e
l igious forms Of the ancient and o f the Christian world
pronounce the unqualified or qualified negation of mar
r i age . It may be f or the reason that it appeared to
endanger the highest p ersonal Values in their earthly
development , o r the moral preparation of the personality
f or the perfect e xistence in the life to come ; it encounters
a profound scepticism both outside of and within Christen
dom I n Christendom in so far a s it has preserved the
.
,
innermost spirit Of its beginnings without having de

scended to the worldly ideal of a materialization of G od
in cultural activity marriage clearly takes its place, not
,
after mere celib acy, but after virginity This p revails ,

.
as far as it is understood and lived as a sacrifice of love

for the sake of G od of the highest unconditional worth
, , ,
as the heroic act of religious devotion through the life

S olus cuiu s o l o— of the solitary with the solita r y In .
the fight between the flesh and the spirit the side of the
spirit is stronger from the beginning and defends itself
again st the claims of the fle sh but in marriage the way
,
leads from lust and deception by the flesh over the

498 J O S E P H B E RN H ART
vanquishing o f all its consequences to the sublimity of
the j ustified spirit The eternal goal o f personality is the
.
same here as there ; the way to it, its sancti fication through
the etho s of the Cross pas ses through marriage as through
,
virginity but the higher rank o f nobility falls to him

,
wh o achieves the required surrender of his ego without

this tribute to the flesh and its danger of becoming self
indulgent S o marriage although an ofii ci uin s oci etatis
.
,
humana e is surpassed by a higher value ; and for that

,
reason, according to Catholic teaching divorce can be ,
e ff ected when the marriage—partners enter monastic life

under the v ow of chastity Thus negation of ma r riage, .
like its a fli r mation, is bound t o a most exalted significance

and purpose This pu r pose desires in every instance that
.
— “
man should be made free for it va car e Deo to be open ,
to G od it is termed in monastic phraseology at the

,
” —
same time , regarding its efl ect the perception of the basis ,
“ ”
o f the world : vac ate et vi d ete be open and see This ,
.
conflict with a large span between the infinite need of

, ,
“ ”
man his hunger and thirst after righteousness, and the
,
inadequacy of all worldly attempts to satiate it provides ,
that marriage too should be recogni zed and mastered only

as a step at this j uncture Where Buddhism with curi ous
.
logic denies th e questioned being of man because it asks

and thirsts while his thirst is met by submersion in
,
thought and contemplation the connection between ,
sacramental marriage a n d religion a ppears as a reciprocity
o f cau s e and e ff ect G oethe s saying that man in the

.
’
,
highest reasoning of which he is capable touches divinity , ,

“
which reveals itself in prime phenomena physical as ,
well as moral behind which it remains and which p r o

,
”
ceed from it acknowledges this connection
, .
The holy marriage which is true to its essence possesses

, ,
religion in itself The ethos which we have outlined is

.
th is occurrence , in all instances when the marriage does
not shatter on it possesses the significance of a di sturbing
,
knowledge E ither it stops at re signation, which is s o

.
“
often invoked or it comes to conversion into a tran

,
scen den tal E ros The gradual comprehension of the

.
“ ” “ ”
Th ou as a representative, as a Sign in the sense
di scussed is consummated in the harmonious union , as
,
if human beings hand in hand understanding themselves

, ,
and exi stence were laid hold o f by something beyond

,
their love Then their combined tears reply to the tragic

.
law o f love that it mu st always remain only an e ff ort

“
toward an impossibl e end Can a human being belong .
to another on the earth entirely as he would wi sh ?—I ,
thought it over the long night through , and was com

p e ll ed t o say : N E ven the greatest love remains only
an attempt ; human and human fundamentally cannot
even with the utmost exertion reach each other and be
united with each other as their love urges and desires ,
.
Passionate love rages only because it feels its insuff i ciency .
E ros must desp air of him self ; he is always E r os th anatos

— mortal love He does not die b ut he is governed by
.
,
the law of death ; he is himself the law of death in the

sense that he cann ot become possessor of life even in its
exuberance—then, indeed least of all I n the quiet of ,
.
unification as i n the tempests of the un i on he realizes

, ,
that it is denied to him to possess life in its reality or ,
indeed to be as it is decreed to him an urge into the

, ,
infinite The universal destiny of this experience forces

.
the human beings whom it drives before it along di ff erent

paths The indi ff erent average whether virtuously or
.
,
not acquiesce in being driven ; but the strong and passion

,
ate personality who sees himself sco ff ed at by his eternal

,
E ros takes up while remaining in the domain of N ature

, , ,
the tragic struggle ( under another aspect it is also comic )

MARR I AGE AS A SA C RA M E N T 5 01
f or the perfe cting of his E ros in new relationships or ,
and this is th e decision o f the religious— h e breaks for

himself, by virtue of his knowledge of E r os th anatos an ,
“
entrance into another world Whether we call it super
.
”
natural or s omething else it is another N ature of a,
new, wonderfully liberating and delivering kind, most

delightful through the light o f the knowledge that in
it N ature is not disposed of and destroyed but rather ,
fulfilled exalted and to its last degree b eautified as the

, , ,
material an d substance of a higher controlling order ,

.
What has occurred in this breaking through above N ature ?

I draw for an swer the picture o f a religious marriage
, , .
In an hour of clear quiet self-contemplation the

,
spouses know a nd feel the st r ucture of their bond and

its afli liati on with the structure o f the entire world which ,
arises from the external and the internal If chastity .
did not prevent the exchange of a word concerning the

profoundest matter th e husband might break the silence
,
with a confess ion somewhat like this :

“
I hold thy hand in mine a nd yet I yearn f or thee ,
.
O ur intimacy profound as it is , is contested by a still

,
deeper feeling of the di stanc e that stands between us .
The more our marriage has become knowledge of M ine

and Thine the more despairing the e ff ort at union has
,
become, which is the essence of our love O ur ultimat e .
happiness which fires us ever anew, is the impossibility

,
o f such union N 0 common delight , n ot even the deeper

.
force of common su ff ering has bound us so closely to

,
gether as our mutual experience growing with time of , ,
the Unmarriageableness of our being Th ou a human .
being I a human being like trees intertwined at their

—
, ,
roots ; but n ot ever one and the same being each a

mystery to the other an ine ff able individuality I t is a
,
.
—
Third outside of us in which we are O ne the soil in
5 02 J OS E P H B E RN H AR T
which each o f us takes root the space in wh ich each o f us ,
grows nourished revived and preserved by both Not

, , , .
I and Thou are significant to one another but to each of ,
us that Third and this in the vicarious a ppearance of a

,
human Thou N amele ss, it has bound us from the b e

.
ginning though still covered by a dazzling light when we

,
met each other unconscious that the Third is more power

,
ful than are both of us But now we know it It has dis . .
closed itself to us between your and my isolation, and our

love has be come a testimony to our impotence to love , our
bond an indication o f something over us N ow we know .
it we p oles e ternally separated, eternally drawn to each

,
other imposed upon each other ; we have and hold on e

,
another not for our sake but that in this event of I and
, ,
Thou that Third may take form and with it we two as ,
well A s long as we were to ourselves and to each other

nothing but natures —m oi s eul I alone in the pitiful at
.
, ,
tempt to sublimate our nullity through E ros— one abyss

then only called to the other, and our happiness was soon
in its weight hardly di fl er en t from the pressure o f su ff er
ing Then gradually and imperceptibly came education
.
, ,
through the mortal essence o f E ros He has , to our .
eternal gratitude chained together the human elements

,
in us ; he has to our still profounder gratitude thrown us

, ,
back upon ourselves and led each one by himself to the

truth that the last solitude o f any human being is not to
be filled by any other human being even the most b e ,
loved He has blessed us with the knowledge that mar

.
‘
r i age also in the idiom o f religion , is created toward
,
G od I do not care whether grace wonder, or whatso

’
.
,
ever sort o f compulsion brings the name o f G od upon my

tongue— it is enough that we know and adore the might
o f the Third a s a will above us He the Third and O ne .
,
in whom we are united is henceforth our l aw and our ,

5 04
'
J OSE P H B ERN H ART
we should a chieve through each other our true being—and
t h at in the settlement o f our di ff erences, in the friction of
o ur natures full of self —
will and defect— this is the tem
p oral significance o f our marriage before G od and also ,
the heaviest obligation that is impo sed on us I should .
have been forced dear wife, to despair o f success with

,
out the thought o f eternity But now I believe , as thou

.
dost, in our eternal destiny and duration S ee ! O ur .
life, destiny haz ard occupation, and also marriage, is

, ,
only on e single opportunity to take shape under the hand

o f G od the Ar ti ficer It matters little whether we ex
.
r i en ce happiness or unhappiness ; little , what we do

p e ,
whether we make platters or pots ; little, what human

beings cro ss our path ; but everything depends on this , to
be and to remain in the right A ll labour has significance .
only in relation to existence L et us term that in which all

.
things find their j u st proportion and their ultimate disp en

sation the eye of G od ; thus only comes to our eye true
sight with the belief in that eye : and let us call the mys
,
ter i ous sense of the world-occurrence the glory o f G od ;

thus our faith in this sen se is our incentive to assume ,
without much protest and without arrogance, the tragedy

of existence S o let us not tremble if it falls on us per
.
, ,
haps arising out of us ourselves ; through it the world

must be convinced that it is not G od but is of G od This ,
.
belief the belief in the Cross renders it a sacrament f or

, ,
us — the sign of G od in space and time I f we have .
grasped this we will say yea to N ature but yea likewise

, ,
to its a spirations toward the supernatural where it attains ,
form and true being L et us hold marriage as a sacra

.
ment a copy of the great sacrament of the Creation

, ,
and restless wit h the sub stance of all our endowment be ,
creative toward eternity We are not without help and

.
,
we are not alone S trength comes to us in our colloquy

.
MARR I AGE AS A SA C RAM EN T 5 5
0
wit h the Word which was in the beginning and we are ,
allied with the whole communion of the saints of all ,
those wh o have become aware o f themselves in G od If .
death tears us asunder he tears one personality from the

,
other but he doe s not tear it away from the Third to

,
”
which ours His likenesses w ere directed
, , .
The evanescent marriage of husband and wife becomes

perfect and full of reality when it strives for likeness to
the se cret G od and creation, or speaking in the Catholic
,
manner that o f Christ and the Church And here we

, .
touch on a mystical element of marriage which does not

possess its like in the history of man nor is it ever to be ,
surpassed in profundity strength and beauty I n a, , .
singular manner it does j ustice to the dignity o f the per

,
son ali ti es t o metaphysical discus sion of the sexes and t o

, ,
the best in society H ere the immanent religion o f mar

.
r i age and parenthood is sanctioned and fortified in the
obj ective explanation of world and existence as a concern

of G od But the complete secularization o f life and the
.
reasons for the inner security of the Catholic Church

have at the present time too deeply shaken the religious
Significance o f sexuality and of the family to permit the
o l d revelation t o reserve itself as the universally obliga
p
tory form .
The culture which cannot endure without the heroic

affirmation of the tragic has already been almost consumed
by civilization and the human formed or misformed by
,
it like a perverted centaur wh o shamelessly turns upward

,
h is animal part stands shyly before the temples o f G od

, ,
for which the niggardly calculation which has supplanted

h is shrivelled soul can see no need What can a sacra.
ment be t o him ! A nd where will the religious genius

o f marriage still have s helter and home when the woman
be comes mannish can n o longer be a wife to the husband ?

,
S he the eternal fem i n i ne
, deepest proximity to the
,
in
foundations o f life which moves closer, more narrowly

, ,
and t h erefore more contentedly around the centre o f the

source of life and is thereby qualified to assemble and
,
bind the fragmentary qualities in the husband to solve his

,
problematic element and to adj ust and expiate the fate of

,
h is centrifugal G od-opposed disposition ! How shall we

reanimate the spirit of the ritual according to which the
parties concluding marriage receive the Cross and S word
’
o n each other s heads bent toward each other the on e as
,
the symbol o f their tragic courageous trust in a higher

,
order than the human the other as the symbol of the un

,
failing wrath f or every infraction o f the law of the

Cross ?
The G erman Luther let loose the G erman demon of
chaos on a structure a th ou sand years old It i s useless
.
to argue with him , for the power o f the di ssonance which

he relea sed in the historic life o f E urope is not without the
character o f a higher mandate But to perpetuate the
.
chao s in the name of the hundred Germanic Christian

,
faiths into which Protestantism has broken up Christen

dom to throw back the most elementary benefit of culture
, ,
sacramental marriage—I know n ot whether from the terror

o f man o r from desertion by G od— into the natural state
o f the pleasure o f lust and moreover to do so in the name
an evangelistically intensified morality —

,
of that is S in
against the Holy G host M ust it be perpetuated ? Could
.
there not be for the coming una sancta evangeli ca [ one

holy evangel ! unification on the Luther o f 1 5 1 9, wh o was
still in control of himself ? He confessed to the myster ium
magnum the great mystery o f holy matrimony and wrote
, ,
thus : Is it not a great thing that G od is M an that G od

“
, ,
gives himself to man and is his ? Behold, f or the

sake of marriage since the union of husband and wife sig
,
ni fies so great a matter, the marital state must enj oy such

P o s ts c ri p t by t he E di to r
ER TA I NLY many of the readers of Th e B oole of

C M ar riage will wish to know something of its several
contributors A mong these the creative artists— Thomas
.
,
M ann, M unich , P osch inger str asse 1 ; Jakob Wassermann ,
Al taussee S teiermark ; R icarda Huch M unich K aulbach

, , ,
strasse 3 5 ; Princess L ichn owsky Berlin W 3 5 Buchen , .

,
strasse 2 and Rabin dr anath Tagore Sh antiniketan Ben

, ,
gal I ndia—surely need n o introduction P aul E rnst S t

,
,
. .
,
G eorgen a d Stiefing S teiermark has written , in addition

. .
, ,
to many plays three di stinguished critical works concern

,
ing the problems o f this age , namely : Die Kr isis d er

hn us ( The Crisis o f G erman Ideal
d eutsch en Id ea lig “
Den Zusammen br uch d es M ar xismus ( The “
Breakdown of and Di e Z er st br ung d er Eh e

’
”—
( The Destruction o f M arriage
“
all published at Mu
nich by G eorg M ii ller ) A mong the men of learning are
‘
A W Nieuwen huis professor o f anthropology in the

. .
,
U niversity o f L eyden in Holland ; Privy Councillor Pro

,
f essor L eo Frobenius Frankfurt a M ain U nter maink ai 4

,
.
, ,
Director o f the Institute for Culture M orphology o f the

same city the originator of the precepts of a new system
,
o f culture and o f a completely new organic examination o f
history as well His small book P ai deuma ( Frankfurter

.
S ozietats-Druckerei ) , which contains its fundamental

'
aspects should be read by every one Professor Dr

,
. .
R ichard Wilhelm of Frankfurt a M ain L er snerstrasse

,
.
,
the founder and leader f the China Institute o f that

4,
o
city, understands China better than a ny man not only in

5 09
5 10 P O S T S C RI P T BY T HE ED IT OR
the West , but even in the Far E ast as well ; and whoever
truly wishes to understand th e wisdom of China should
read Wilhelm s translations o f the Chinese classical writ
’
ings which have appeared under D iederich s imprint , his ’
“
C h i n esi sch e L eb ensw ei sh ei t ( The Chinese Wisdom of
”—
L ife Darmstadt : Reich l ) and his Ki mgtse ( C onf u “
“
cius ) and L a a tsa ( Lao
”
volumes which have ap
p ea r ed under the imprint o f Fr Frommann E rnst . .
Kretschmer author of K Or per bau und Charakter ( P hysi

,
“
cal Form and is professor of psychiatry in

Tubingen ; Count Thun, V ienna I , Hoher M arkt 8 ,
f ormerly a diplomat , p oet , and critic, was until recently

editor-in-chief of D ie E ur opii isch e Revue H avelock .
E llis the world-famous author of many books on love

,
a n d marriage lives in L ondon S W

, 9 1 4 D over M an . .
,
sions Canterbury R oad ; S anitary O fli cer Dr Dahlke who

,
.
,
resides in the Buddhist House ,Berlin— Frohnau , at Kaiser

park is the most significant living Buddhist and his books
, ,
on Buddhism , published in part by himself and partly
under the imprint of O skar S chloss o f M unich are by far ,
the best which have been written by a N ortherner on this

problem R abbi Dr L eo B aeck, Berlin W 62 Burg
. . .
,
g r a f e n str a sse 1 9 is the author

,
of many o f the best modern
writings on the spirit o f the O ld Testament his Wesen ,
”—
d es Jud en tums ( E ssence o f Judaism
“
Frankfurt a .
M ain : J K aufmann ) being especially commendable Dr

. . .
Jo seph Bernhart M unich M auer kir ch er str asse 3, is one

, ,
o f the originators o f the religious revival o f our age Dr . .
v on Hattingberg M unich Ainmiller str asse 3 2, Dr

, ,
.
M aeder Zii r ich Bergstrasse 1 07 and Dr Beatrice M

, , , . .
Hinkle 34 G ramercy Park N ew Y ork City are

, , ,
neurologists and psychoanalysts The last -named has .
written what is thus far the best introduction to psycho

synthesis a book entitled T h e Re-Cr eati on of the Indi
,
’
N o t e on the T r a n s l a t i on
OR the essays in this book by Dr Beatrice M Hinkle
F M r Havelock Ellis and Sir Rab indranath Tagore
. .
,
.
, ,
the original MSS in E nglish have been used The

. .
remainder have been translated from the G erman as fol

lows : by Therese Duerr ( Jung ) ; by Paul Fohr ( Dahlke ) ;
by William A Drake and Dr Walter J Briggs ( Adler
. . .
,
L ich nowsky K emnit z M aeder B aeck , Bernhart U n

, , , ,
gern -S ternberg Hattingberg Kretschmer and the P o st

, , ,
script ) ; and the others by W H Hilton-Brown under the

. .
personal supervision of Count Hermann K eyserling .

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A N EW I NT ER P RE T A T I O N B Y T W E N T Y -FO U R

O U IN' N Q B O DEN C O MP A NY.

my invitation to contribute to Th e B ook of M ar

r i ag e Bernard S haw replied : N 0 man dare write

the truth about marriage while his W ife lives Unless .

that i s he hates her like S trindberg and I don t I shall

read the volume with intere st knowing that it will con ,

This is one o f S haw s famous b outad es No one h as

written more openly on marriage and yet with out caus ,

ing o ﬁence, than he H owever, I gladly make use of the

Irish sage s witty sally as preface to this book, because in

a humorous form it cautions simultaneously against tw o

with this most intimate o f all questions whose fearless

ing inj ury, and whose very nobility of character would

that an unprej udiced person could never even think o f

last aim o f T k e B ook of M arr iage is t o k elp G onse .

quently courage and p urity are the twin sources o f its

T h e B o okf M ar r iage means to help all wh o are about

to enter on marriage ; all w h o are personally distressed

and that the entire ameliorative future o f humanity de

doubt o f this : since no problem without exception con

cerns everybody more closel y than thi s relationsh ip ,

which from its very origin determines the bodily an d

to the constancy and intimacy o f its inﬂuence continues ,

to ass ist in determining the character o f each partner the ,

ruin of marriage signiﬁes general ruin whereas improve ,

ment and perfection in it denotes general progress The .

appeal of Tk e B ook of M arr iage is thus literally to each

But h ow can a book o f pure cognition assist in solving

didactic in the customary sense of the term 5 nothing in ,

a word savouring of an attempt to inﬂuence another s

will O nly that form o f assistance can p ossibly help the

individual which refrains from giving him direct aid and

ﬁnd his way by himself independently o f others This

can be accomplished in the following manner : R ealized

idea s clearly comprehended succeed in the long run by

means o f subconscious processes in creating actual realities

which correspond to them Thus pure cognition is the

o n e thing essential wherever defectiveness due to mi s

comprehension is found to exist in the ﬁeld of realities .

A nd this is so in the case o f marriage The primary cause

O f its present critical condition is the mi sconception o f its

meaning It is because hardly any on e knows what mar

r iage signiﬁe s that almo st every o n e woos the wrong per

son that hardly on e in a thousand knows how to lead a

signiﬁcance wi ll lead in the case of marriage if anywhere , ,

to a radical cure In order that realization should alter

knowledge in question should be properly formulated ,

and secondl y, accepted in such a manner as to prove eﬂi

The ﬁrst condition depends on the precision o f the

the strictly logical concatenation and the psychologica l ,

treatment In the case of a book this e ff ect depends on

the author s art I n the present case the collaborators are

twenty-four in number But they collaborate in exactly

the same sense as do the di ff erent players o f a well

o f a single harmony T h e B ook of M ar r iage is an organic

whole The ﬁrst part deals with the general outlines o f

the problem The di ff erent sections o f the ensuing parts

bring into clear relief its particular aspects A s these .

only one way when adequate reasoning and Clear visual

o f the problem was entrusted strictly to the individual

wh o, by reason o f his or her special aptitude was pre ,

eminently capable of apprehending and expressing it If .