Boys and girls: not as different as we thought

1 For decades, psychologists and 7 “Since little Eric doesn’t seem to express many
researchers have been telling us emotions, he must not be as emotional as little
the same old thing — boys and Hannah, who has an outburst at the drop of a
girls are fundamentally hat!”
different. Their brains are
8 Our children become a self-fulfilling prophecy
different, their childhood
— they turn into the kids we, by and large,
development is different, their
imagine them to be. Parents don’t usually do this
perceptions of the world around
consciously, of course. It is the stereotyped roles
them are different. It’s the old nature
hammered into us at an early age, reinforced by
versus nurture debate, with many
consumerism and toy makers and commercials,
parents unmistakably believing that
and our own mothers and fathers. Boys are
nature is the primary force in a child’s
athletic and competitive, while girls are less so,
development and that all parents can do is
and more social and emotional. These are
hang on for the ride.
stereotypes we imprint on our children; they are
2 But a new book by Lise Eliot, PhD, suggests not naturally this way.
that many of these differences are what we, the
9 There are some differences the research
adults, make of them. She’s done the
supports with robust data. Dr. Eliot found that
equivalent of a meta-analysis on the research
girls write better and more easily than most boys,
foundation for gender differences between boys
and that boys have a better sense of spatial
and girls, and put into a consumer-digestible
navigation than girls (like in reading a map).
format. The results are summarized in her new
book, Pink Brain, Blue Brain. As Newsweek 10 What Dr. Eliot is saying isn’t really new. We’ve
summarized: known for years that infant brains are extremely
malleable. But she’s put it into simple language
3 How we perceive children — sociable or
and has done a good job summarizing the vast
remote, physically bold or reticent — shapes
body of research to really help put all of that
how we treat them and therefore what
data into some context. Her argument that
experiences we give them. Since life leaves
small differences at birth become amplified over
footprints on the very structure and function
time as we all work to reinforce the gender
of the brain, these various experiences
stereotypes resonates.
produce sex differences in adult behavior
and brains — the result not of innate and 11 Children must learn to stray from their comfort
inborn nature but of nurture. zones, with parents helping them try new things
and explore new ways of expressing themselves
4 The gist of her findings is that many of the
that perhaps don’t feel natural at first, but will
differences that parents believe are innate or
often come with time. Boys, for instance,
nature-led are not. Motor skills? The same.
should be encouraged and reinforced
Ability to have deep emotional feelings? The
for being able to express their feelings.
same. Aggressiveness? The same. Why do we
The book not only goes into what few
observe such differences in little boys and girls?
differences really exist, but also
Because parents often unconsciously reinforce
explains what parents can do to
the gender stereotypes within their children:
help encourage their kids to
5 “Oh, little Sally can’t run as quickly as little Bobby.” go outside of their comfort
zones.
6 “Oh, Mikey is always so aggressive; Angela is
an angel in comparison!” SOURCE: Psych Central

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