ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Alhamdulillah In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, with the help
and assistances of Him, I have successfully completed this Personal development
assignment.

I owe a debt of gratitude to UITM for give me opportunity to study the Personal
Development subject which help me a lot in improving myself.

I would like to pay my special tribute to my dearest lecturer, Madam Ruhani bt

Muhamad for her kindness, suggestions and ideas to complete my assignment. It
would have been possible without her assistance and guidance.

I would like to express my hearties gratitude to all my friends. Finally, I also owe
much thanks to my family for their constant support and encouragements.

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INTRODUCTION
1.1 Introduction of Shyness

All of us possess a cluster of character traits. We’re proud of some. We admit to

some. We hate some. And finally, there are some, we’d like to change.

Shyness is one among the first. The reason is very simple. As a shy person you
lose out on so much. Better opportunities at work, more fulfilling relationships
and a great, interactive and warm world. Unfortunately by being shy, you close
so many chances in front of you.

Shyness affects people of all ages. A kindergarten is frightening for many

children; some students are anxious about the first day of school until they
graduate from college. Job interviews are stressful for people uncomfortable
talking about themselves. For some people, feelings of self-worth are related to
their careers. Retirement may bring feelings of lower self-esteem.

Shyness is linked to brain activity, how a person was raised and other
experiences, and the person's reaction to those experiences.

1.2 Definition

Shyness may be defined experientially as discomfort or inhibition in interpersonal

situations that interferes with pursuing one's interpersonal or professional goals.
It is a form of excessive self-focus, a preoccupation with one's thoughts, feelings
and physical reactions. It may vary from mild social awkwardness to totally
inhibiting social phobia. Shyness may be chronic and dispositional, serving as a
personality trait that is central in one's self definition. Situational shyness
involves experiencing the symptoms of shyness in specific social performance
situations but not incorporating it into one's self-concept.

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CAUSES OF SHYNESS
The causes of shyness are many and varied. We have had to know the causes of
shyness in order to find the right way to cure it.

2.1 Poor self esteem

Self esteem is the most important determinant of peak performance. People who
have a poor self-esteem may not feel confident enough to face other people.
Self-esteem is the understanding and appreciation that you have values and
virtues that make you unique and special. A good self-image would mean that
you could look at yourself and see both the good and not very good sides
of yourself and accept them both as integral pieces to who you are. When you
are unable to accept yourself and like yourself, it stands to reason that you
would assume others would not like you as well

2.2 Poor self confidence

Self confidence can be build by practice. Lack of practice will make us be a shy
person and not confidence in everything we have done. Even the deejay had
practice on what to talk when they ore on air. Practice will make us perfect and
can reduce the level of shyness.

2.3 Non assertive or pessimistic

Non assertive is when you allow others to violate your rights by regarding their
needs, opinions and rights as more important than your own. This shows a lack
of respect for your own needs and can lead to feelings of hurt, anxiety and
anger. People who not stand and fight for their right because of shyness is the
looser.

2.4 Inherited by parents’ traits

Parents’ traits affect more on their children life. If parent are shy, not really
socialize with other, pessimistic, lack of self confidence and many more from
negative behaviour, these traits will automatically pass to their children. So,
parents have to show a good behaviour in front of the children to avoid them to
be shy.

2.5 The odd behaviour among relatives

Parents or relatives that act oddly in public or in front of our friends will make we
shy to face other thus will lead to be a shy person. For example if my parent
were arrested because of drugs, of course i will be a very shy person because of
my parent behaviour. That situation really makes me down and cannot face the
public.

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2.6 Family without affection
There are a few families in which the members will not convey their loving or
affectionate feelings to each other. This can lead to a child feeling uncomfortable
expressing loving emotions and is one of the leading causes of shyness.

2.7 Criticize among relatives

There are a few families who are very critical in nature. Too much criticism at an
early age can lead to a feeling of inadequacy, which can cause shyness. For
example when families always complain about their child performance in study
and compare to other people performance, this will make the child feel
uncomfortable. So, it would lead shyness.

2.8 Fear of trying out new thing

Be it a new job, a new state of affairs, unfamiliar persons, or a new locality.
Similar to most behavioural patterns, shyness has its roots in a shy person’s
infancy, at about the time when the kid is exposed to new people, unknown
relatives or friends. It is at this time when a kid learns to communicate with
strangers. Some kids take a liking to new faces and in fact show interest, while
others just retract and build up shyness.

2.9 The fear of being judged negatively

This perhaps ranks the highest among the fears felt by shy people. Is it not often
that you find yourself thinking, “Oh my god, why did I say such a stupid thing?
They will definitely laugh at me” or may be, “Why did I tell him about my
mistakes? He must be thinking what a stupid person I am!”

2.10 Traumatic incident

An outgoing person who is criticized or treated poorly at home may no longer be
able to be outgoing. Traumatic events that cause shyness need to be dealt with
in conjunction with working on the shyness because the event will continue to
torment unless resolved and laid to rest.

2.11 Fear of people

For shy people, meeting someone new can be harrowing only because they are
scared about how they are perceived. “A new person” can be:
 Strangers encountered at the office or at societal location
 Members of the opposite sex.
 Authorities in the place of work or in the educational institution.
This happens because shy people often have a negative self image.

2.12 Fear of situation

The level of shyness usually rises with formal situations. This is because a certain
‘code of conduct’ or decorum has to be obeyed at formal occasions. Shy people
worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. As a result, they end up acting
clumsily.

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2.13 Overprotective parents. 
Children who are overprotected by their parents often don't have the opportunity
to be independent socially. Because of this, these children often lack the
confidence needed to make decisions for themselves. Such children are often
insecure, which can then cause shyness.

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EFFECTS OF SHYNESS
The effects of shyness are diverse and range from very serious to easy to miss
effects. The effects of shyness are felt through various parts of your life, and you
may not expect that shyness would be so far-reaching

3.1 Decrease your ability to make new friends

Shyness may keep you from talking to new people. You may not realize what
these people have to offer your life and your personality because you cannot
work up the courage to even speak with them. Your shyness may appear to be a
desire to be left alone, and may keep others from approaching you. The people
you cannot talk to because of your shyness may have important keys to creating
a happier fuller life.

3.2 Decreases your ability to enjoy social situations and hobbies

There are many recreational activities that involve large crowds or groups. There
are recreational hobbies that involve partner or group work. Do you find you stay
away from these fun activities because the crowds or the chance you may have
to speak in front of people scare you too much? The effects of shyness can rob
you of valuable recreational time that would relax you and add fun to your life.

3.3 Can diminish your performance at work

If you could control your shyness, you may have the potential to overcome the
effects of shyness and become a great leader. You may be a top salesperson.
You may be an effective teacher or trainer. When you learn to harness your
shyness and overcome your social anxiety, you will be better able to explore
your professional opportunities and grow into a career that is more satisfying.

3.4 May cause anxiety and stress that is detrimental to your health and
immune system
When you are vulnerable to intense stress due to your shyness, you set your
system up for all of the negative effects of stress. The effects of shyness can
result in high blood pressure, decreased immune function, and hypertension - a
few symptoms of stress that might be induced by your shyness.

3.5 Lack of assertiveness

Shy people fail to stick up for themselves, both in the workplace as well as in
personal matters. Hence, they are often exploited by peers. They can’t fit with
their opinion but only follow others.

3.6 Bad academic performances

Shyness makes a child fail to ask for help from their teachers, even when they
need to clear their doubts on the subject being taught. This leads to poor grades
and overall poor performance in school. The long-term effect may be hindrance
in advancing in career.

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3.7 Will have problem to have an effective communication
By avoiding social situations make shy people grow up into adults lacking
effective communication skills. They often don’t learn effective communication.
They do not possess the power of expressing their emotions. They fail to relate
to others. They do not confidence to talk to everybody. Thus, it will lead to poor
communication. Because they lack communication skills, shy people often have
difficulty relating to other people.

3.8 Difficulty expressing emotions

Shy people have often not learned how to adequately express themselves.
Because of this, shy people often bottle up their emotions and not have the
strength to tell other about their feelings.

3.9 Difficult to maintain close personal relationship

Shyness can cause difficulty making and maintaining close personal
relationships. Shy people lack the social skills necessary for making friends.
Moreover, they are often fearful of social situations, and hence avoid them. As a
result, they become lonely.

3.10 Negative feeling and depression

By being a shyness person, your mind will full of negative feeling. You will judge
other without asking them. You are shy to ask them the truth. So, you keep
guest the solution and answer by your own. This situation will make you in
stress.

3.11 Lead to passive communication

Passive people are usually unhappy. They will not fight for their right. They are
less expressive and verbal. The less they have to speak, the better they like it.
They do not want to make mistake in front of others. So it is good for them by
saying ‘it is a good manner for passivity’. Even a simple conversation creates
quite a problem for them. They’re so busy wondering what the other person is
thinking of them, that they fail to concentrate on the conversation itself.

3.12 Bad self image

Shy people have a bad self image. They don’t accept their self and not
appreciate what they have had. Everybody have their own unique personality,
but because of shyness, they feel unworthy.

3.13 Don’t have partner

Every person need partner. Man needs woman, as well as woman. But, because
of shy to opposite sex, they are not able to have partner. They will think that
they are not attractive, unwanted, undesirable, and many other negative
thought.

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3.14 Will be a shy student
In term of education, shyness is the most things that must be avoided by every
student. By being a shy, they won’t be able to ask what they do not understand
during class session. They will miss out a lot of opportunity such as to get more
mark by being the class representative. As a Muslim, we have to bear in mind
that we are not supposed to be a shy in education.

3.15 Health risk

Shyness is a greater health risk. This is due to a lack of emotional support,
usually found in good friends and family. The inability to discuss health problems
with one’s doctor also presents a possible risk. Doctors can’t help if they don’t
know the problems.

3.16 Difficult to get job

Shy person will have difficulties to get job. This is because they can’t perform
well during interview session. The company that offer job and seeking the new
employee will not only see the education level of the candidates. They also need
a good employee in term of communication, personality, good self image, high
self esteem and so on. For shy person, even they have had a flying colours and
excellent result but not have the ability to attract the interviewer because of
shyness, they will not hire by the company.

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THE WAY TO OVERCOME SHYNESS
Shyness cannot be eliminated quickly. It takes time for a shy individual to
overcome this personality trait. Shyness can be cure by many ways.

4.1 Understand your shyness

Seek to understand your unique brand of shyness and how that manifests in
your life. Understand what situation triggers this feeling? And what are you
concerned with at that point?

4.2 Find your strength

We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing ourselves. It’s
important to know and fully accept the things we do well, even if they differ
from the norm. If everyone was the same, the world would be a pretty boring
place. Find something you are good at and focus on doing it. An identifiable
strength will boost your natural self esteem and your ego, helping you better
identify with yourself. It is a short term fix, but will give you the confidence you
need to break your self-imposed barrier of fear. See how your unique strength
gives you an advantage.

4.3 Learn to like yourself

Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression that is you. Write
a love letter to yourself, do things you enjoy, give gratitude for your body and
its effortless functions, spend quality time getting to know yourself, go on a self-
date.

4.4 Reward yourself for your social accomplishments

For every accomplishment even how simple your accomplishment is, such as
being able to talk to an authority figure, give yourself a reward. It will help you
boost your self-confidence. Speaking of self-confidence, feel good inside by
looking good outside. Looking good can surely increase your self-esteem.

4.5 Focus on Other People

Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other
people and what they have to say. Become interested in learning about others,
and probe them to talk about themselves. You can try pondering the question
while interacting: What is it about this person that I like?

4.6 Affirmation

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Words can carry incredible energy. What we repeatedly tell ourselves, gets heard
by our unconscious mind, and it acts accordingly. If we repeatedly tell ourselves
that we are incapable, and too shy to do anything, we will become increasingly
aware of evidence to back up this ‘fact’, and our actions will always match what
we tell ourselves. Similarly, if we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are capable,
confident, and wonderful human beings, our unconscious mind will likely surface
the awareness that gives evidence to this new ‘fact’. While, we can’t lie to
ourselves, positive visualization and affirmation are helpful in placing us along
the road of positive thought patterns.

4.7 Stop labelling yourself

Stop labelling yourself as a shy person. Keep in your mind that you are a good
person with a good personality. You are unique.

4.8 Figure out what make you shy

Everyone have different reason why they are shy. By seeking and searching the
reason why you are shy can help you to find the way to cure it. For example if
you are shy to talk in front of others, you have to practice a lot.

4.9 Build your self confidence

Everyone has some special gift or trait to offer to the world. Think about what
you know, what you can do, and what you have accomplished, rather than
thinking on how you look, sound, or dress. Keep in mind that everyone, even the
"beautiful people", has something about themselves or their life that they don't
like.

4.10 Don’t compare yourself to others

By comparing yourself to others will make your level of shyness increase. The
more you compare yourself to others, you will feel that you are not able to
measure up and the more intimidated you will feel which will make you shyer.

4.11 Accept Rejection

Accept the possibility that we can be rejected and learning to not take it
personally. Remember, you are not alone and we all experience rejections. It is
part of life and part of the learning process.

4.12 Visualization
Visualizing yourself in the situation as a confident and happy person helps you to
shape your perception of yourself when you are actually in the situation.
Visualization are as same as acting yourself at the certain situation. By doing this
act often with different situation will help you to decrease the level of shyness.

4.13 Not conforming

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Try to fit in like everyone else is exhausting. Understand that it is okay to be
different. Accept that you may not be perceived as the most popular social
butterfly, and you may not want  to be either. At the end of the day, being
popular will not make you happy. Accepting your unique qualities can set you
free.

4.14 Turning Self Consciousness into Self Awareness

Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most people are too
busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching yourself as if you are other
people, bring your awareness inwards. Armed with your understanding of what
makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your
thoughts. Self awareness is the first step towards any change or life
improvement.

4.15 Get comfortable

Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you, and build up your
confidence through them. Eventually, this will translate to other situations being
more comfortable.

4.16 Try doing stuff you never dreamed you would

Try to do something really out of your common lifestyle like scuba diving. This
will give you a story to tell when you are making conversation with people. And if
you can find the courage to do something that big, then something like talking to
a cute girl/guy should seem easy.

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CONCLUSION
The shyness which has ruined your life up to now is not an invisible enemy. It’s
not even as powerful a force as you thought. Remember that shyness is an
emotion, not a permanent personality trait. You have the power to change your
feelings of shyness and act in a bolder manner. There's nothing wrong with being
shy, but there's nothing wrong with being outgoing either.

Our mind is flexible. Everything we done are based on our mind and of course
we can control it. Overcoming shyness is the way to happiness and acceptance,
harmony and success.

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REFERENCES
http://e-psybermatrix.utm.my/My-TAG/bahan_download/No_More_Shyness.pdf

http://www.shyness.com/encyclopedia.html

http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/

http://www.shakeyourshyness.com/

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/all-about-shyness/

https://writer4me.com/portfolio/shyness_ebook.pdf

http://www.hitechhyderabad.com/downloads/shyness.pdf

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