In anticipation of Valentine’s Day, SHRM published 

an
article highlighting a new survey on office romances. Among the key
findings of the survey: 34% of employees are or have been in a workplace
romance, compared to 26% in the previous year, and 25% of American
workers either began or continued an office romance during the
pandemic. While initially this seems counterintuitive due to the
pandemic, upon reflection this makes some sense. Even in normal times,
research says that Americans spend at least 50% of their waking hours
working. With much of the country under enforced social isolation, work
is now the main point of human connection for a large portion of the
population. So, it stands to reason that more employees would be finding
romance with their colleagues at work.

Of course, romantic entanglements at work are nothing new in our

culture – it’s the stuff movie and TV magic is made of. The
Proposal revolves around a supervisor/subordinate relationship gone
wildly awry, with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds trying to fool not
only family, friends and colleagues, but also an INS agent. Love
Actually contains at least five work-related subplots, not all of which end
well (poor Alan Rickman and Laura Linney, but yay, Colin Firth!). On the
small screen, Schitt’s Creek fans cheered for Rose Apothecary co-workers
David and Patrick as they finally said “I do”, and who didn’t cry, even just
a little, over Alexis and former boss Ted’s farewell dinner in the café
(c’mon, even Eugene Levy did). For nine seasons, NBC teased viewers
of The Office with the “will they or won’t they” tension between Jim and
Pam (spoiler alert: they would and they did).

Unlike these rom coms, IRL not all office romances have a happy ending,
and even those that do can cause friction in the workplace. That’s why,
when we conduct anti-harassment training for employers, we often
caution trainees on the problems that workplace romances can create for
employers and employees alike. That is not to say that workplace
romances never work out. In discussing this article, some of our
colleagues pointed out that they are happily married to former coworkers.
Still, romance always involves some degree of risk, and those risks are
heightened when the parties to a relationship are bound together by their
livelihoods.

So what should employers do?

 Consider a romantic relationships policy. Zero tolerance

anti-fraternization policies are very hard to police and enforce. They
can have the unintended effect of causing employees to hide their
relationships. Instead, many employers opt for either a hybrid
policy that permits relationships between co-workers but not
 supervisors and subordinates, or allows both types of relationships
but sets ground rules for those relationships. Many of these
romantic relationships policies require employees to disclose when
they have begun a dating relationship with a colleague – Dunder
Mifflin’s HR department got that much right. Such a policy should
make clear that the participants’ consent is critical and request the
participants to let HR know if and when the relationship ends. Had
such a policy been in place in The Proposal, we would never have
seen Betty White and “the baby maker”, but that’s why it’s fiction!
 Professionalism must rule the day. Management and HR must
make clear that during working time and in working areas, dating
employees are expected to conduct themselves in an appropriate
manner that does not interfere with their or others’ productivity.
This includes any public displays of affection (so while highly
entertaining, that’s a “no” to David’s “Simply the Best” dance for
Patrick in Rose Apothecary).
 Focus on power imbalances. The workplace relationships that
carry the greatest risks for an organization and for those involved in
the relationship are those that involve a power imbalance. Even if
such a relationship remains happy and healthy for the immediate
participants, it can create an opportunity for and the appearance of
favoritism for the subordinate. (Even before the holiday party scene
in Love Actually, everyone but wife Emma Thompson knew that
assistant Mia had a thing for Alan Rickman’s Harry.) Employers
should consider prohibiting employees from managing, supervising,
or being involved in employment decisions affecting an individual
with whom they are romantically or sexually involved.
 Tailor your policies to the realities of your
organization. For example, in a large organization, it may be
feasible to eliminate potential conflicts of interest by transferring
employees or changing reporting relationships. Small organizations
may not have that luxury and may need to more closely monitor
workplace relationships to ensure that they do not become
problematic or abusive. Many small businesses may by necessity
have a greater tolerance for workplace relationships, simply because
they are a “family affair” run by married couples or non-married
romantic partners.
 Above all, ensure that you have a robust anti-harassment
program in place. Make it clear that workplace harassment will
not be tolerated and that engaging in a relationship with someone
does not give them a right to engage in unwelcome inappropriate
conduct that negatively affects someone at work. Demonstrate, by
both words and actions, that complaints of harassment are taken
seriously and that the organization will take appropriate corrective
action when needed to protect its employees.
  Consult your employment lawyer. Workplace relationships
raise tricky legal and practical issues that could have severe
consequences for your organization and your employees if not
managed appropriately. A few minutes on the phone may help
prevent major problems down the road.

And if you’re still looking for a Valentine’s Day movie recommendation?

Well, even the 17 th century had its share of workplace romances, deftly
navigated by working woman Kate Winslet in A Little Chaos. Complete
with a happy ending.