Durolin 1

Vernese Durolin

Professor Gardiakos

ENC 1101

25 February 2021

Unit 2: Writing Processes and Practices

“Read this section tonight and explain what’ve you read” is what I was constantly told to

do as I advanced letter grade and got older, and of course, there were ‘rules’ you had to follow in

order to get that exceptional grade everyone deeply desired. In a household where Creole was the

dominant language that was spoken, going to school and being exposed to a divergent language

took a heavy toll on the way I was able to comprehend literacy. When I wasn’t asking my parents

to assist me on a definition of a particular word or even how to pronounce it, I was looking it up

in a dictionary trying my best to understand what it was I was reading, because most of the time I

would catch myself staring at a multitude of words as if I was stuck in a maze, trapped and

confused. As I progressed I taught myself things that a teacher would have expected a student to

already know, things such as knowing how to write an argumentative or a persuasive essay.

Today, as I am asked to look back and evaluate my literacy history, I realized that everything I

have written in the past I wrote with a strict guideline that I felt the need had to be followed to

reach my goal, simply because it was the way I was taught. “Only five paragraphs, nothing more

nothing less, Include a thesis statement and a strong hook in the introduction paragraph, and oh,

don’t forget to write in complete sentences.” That is what my teachers persistently drilled into

my head, and even if I tried I couldn’t forget. Despite this, I have approached a new level of

writing, as I acquire the knowledge to make sense of how and why I write.
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What kind of writer am I? I sit here prepared to give a simple answer to a simple

question. However, it may not be so simple to answer. I am a young African American girl, who

is not rich but also not poor, and based on Deborah Brandt’s article, “Sponsors of Literacy'', both

race and class can have an effect on ones’ sponsorship of literacy stating, “People from

high-caste racial groups have multiple and redundant contacts with powerful literacy

sponsors...and political privileges...Poor people from low-caste racial groups less consistent, less

politically secured access to literacy sponsors (Brandt, 250).” After reading this article not only

did I start to think about myself as a writer, but I also started thinking about who or what are my

sponsors? Did growing up as a black child really affect my literacy? It is unfortunate to think that

such things, that are uncontrollable, can have an enormous impact on someone’s ability to read

and write. Growing up, the majority of my classmates owned laptops, I was categorized as a

student who was ‘poor’ because I wasn’t up to date with the rest. I used a dictionary instead of

google to look up meaning for words, I did not have parents who went to college and got a

degree, only ones who barely made it by high school. Nevertheless, my race and class never

affected me as a writer, it just took me longer to get where everyone else was, and I was okay

with that.

As I sit down and write, a variety of things can run across my head. Whether it's someone

else's voice or mine, but usually my voice is the one criticizing me. “Are you even doing this

right? Do you sound smart enough? That sounds stupid, say this instead.” I set myself up on such

a high pedestal that sometimes my own voice in my head seems to discourage me, and when I

feel as though I am ‘blocked’ those voices become louder. But what makes me have those

blocking moments? Mike Rose, the author of “Rigid Rules, Inflexible Plans, and the stifling of

Language”, categorizes the rules of writing into two categories, heuristic, and algorithm. Most
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blockers are fixed on algorithms, believing that there is only one correct way to reach the goal,

constraining any artistry or imagination. The rule to grab a reader’s attention hinders my process

of writing. I sit and spend a great amount of time on just the first paragraph of my writing trying

to come up with a hook that would leave the readers wanting to read more. Experiencing writer's

block during my writing usually depends on the subject itself. Am I good at this subject and/or

topic? Do I understand the question they are asking? However, when I do feel as though I am

experiencing writer's block I like to receive feedback. Hearing how others approach the question,

and their perspective on it allows me to develop a sense of meaning towards my writing.

I do not categorize myself as either a non-blocker or a blocker, I place myself in the

middle. I am a non-blocker If it is a type of writing that I enjoy or even a topic that I find interest

in. Examples of this are fictional narrative writings. This type of writing usually involves a main

character who faces a problem or an event through a significant experience. Starting with the

beginning, moving on to the rising action which leads to the climax, directing back to the falling

action, which finishes off with a resolution. Simple right?. On the other hand, the kinds of

writings that I do not look forward to are any types of writings that involve doing research or

writings that fall into the category of non-fictions. I find that writing about facts is less appealing

than writing about an imaginary story that leaves me critically thinking about what different

techniques the character can utilize in order to solve the problem, and of course, my cognitive

thinking process varies depending on the two. When I write about things that I enjoy such as

fictional narratives, my thought process seems to be more straightforward. In other words, my

ideas, and concepts easily drift out of my head like the wind. I rarely face bumps in the road as I

write and my creativity is exceptional. I am more lenient to the writing rules that I feel I have to

follow to reach my goal, as opposed to writing about a subject I do not find rather enjoyable.
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Nevertheless, time to begin writing. Before doing this I make sure everything is done

before. For example, I do my chores, laundry, etc. I clean my room because the majority of the

time this is my safe place where I can feel free to read and write without any distractions, so I

clean it because I can not work in a dirty environment. I do not keep my room dark because a

dark room affects my productivity sometimes causing me to fall asleep, so I open the blinds to let

the light of the sun pour through my windows and light up the scenery. I open my windows to

hear the gentle breeze brustle through the trees. I also find it amusing to listen to nearby cars pass

by. I turn my tv on and finally, put some 90’s music on. If I do not work in my room I often find

myself working in a nearby library where other students are also hard at work. Being surrounded

by others who are studious motivates me. Why? Because surrounding myself with people like

this empowers me to mirror who I want to be in life, and what I want to accomplish.

Moreover, I finally sit down to start. I have never been one to actually plan out my

writing, I just dive right in starting with the introduction paragraph. This paragraph is where I

find myself spending the majority of my time. Constantly trying to find a different way to appeal

to my readers’ attention. Should I start with a famous quote? Or should I start by asking a

question? Once I decide the rest of the intro seems to fall in place. However, when I get more in

depth of my paper my mind starts to wander. The thought of being almost done already starts to

cross my mind even though I am only one page in, and this is where my procrastination starts to

begin as if it was a switch I accidentally turn on, and when it’s time, I struggle to turn it back off.

I reread my introduction in my head before moving on to the next and the fear of failing also

starts to attack my mind. The random voices pop in out of nowhere. Anne Lamott, author of

“Shitty First Drafts” describes isolating the voices in her head by stating “Isolate one of the

voices and imagine the person speaking as a mouse. Pick it up by the tail and drop it into a
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mason jar…” However, unlike Lamott, I do not have a certain technique to shut the voices out.

If I’m not ignoring them, or blocking them out, I’m distracting myself with the music that is

being played. My motivation starts to run low, my self-confidence is on the verge to giving out,

and how? How do all of these things happen in such short of a time? I barely made it through

writing for even an hour and I find my luck to start to fade. Ready to give up as always, this is

where I seek out feedback from others. Rose states, “Part of the mutability comes from the fluid

way the goals and plans are conceived, and part of it arises from the effective impact of feedback

on these goals and plans” (168). Typically, I would ask a friend or even ask my professor to

elaborate on the topic. However, normally my mom would do her daily walk through each of her

children’s rooms to check upon them, and when she would get to mine she would already see

that I was stressing myself out again. Rubbing my head as gentle as a lamb, “You’re doing it

again”, my mom would say with her delicate voice. I would then let her read what I had so far. I

would watch her eyes move left to right as she shook her head, biting her top lip, which was

something she always did when she read. Standing next to her waiting for her to finish and just

rip off the bandage, she gazed up at me with the same stare she always gives. Impressed by what

I wrote, and confused on why I was beating myself up once more. Giving me back my seat, she

comments on what she thinks I should do, after taking in her feedback I also asked a friend.

When I feel as though I have a new sense of my writing, I would pick up where I left off,

but this time with a different approach. Abruptly pouring my thoughts out, I reach halfway

through my paper and take a break. I can never finish the entire writing in just one sit down. I

stop to take a break, whether it’s to get a snack or go bother my siblings. Once I feel my mind is

restored again, I begin my writing once more. Finally, I’ve reached the end. Slouching back in

my chair, cracking my knuckles, rubbing my eyes because they start to strain from gazing at the
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screen for so long, I take a deep breath in and let it out. Of course, it is only the rough draft, but I

tend to spend a lot of time on it so when it comes to revising it, I do not have a lot to do. Staring

at my paper ready to review it. My mindset has now switched over to revision mode. In this

process, I often go through my paper once reading it in my head. I go through it a second time,

still reading in my head, but with this time a highlighter in my hand marking up grammar issues,

or highlighting places where I may sound repetitive. Making sure my sticky notes are in hand

just in case I need to jot down and make note of certain things I can add or remove, or even

commenting about the arrangement of my paper. Such as “this should go here instead, or, on

second thought take this out and substitute it for this.” If I am not talking to myself, all of this is

getting done in my head. And finally, I reread it for the last time, but this time I read it again out

loud to my mother. I finalize the last few touches, and eagerly, I hit the submit button which I

find to be the best feeling as if I just got done running a marathon.

In conclusion, writing itself teaches one more about themselves than they would have

thought. The more I write, the more I am able to see what kind of person I am based on my

habits and the techniques I used. I am impatient when it comes to writing, I beat myself up only

because I value myself as a writer. After this paper, I now have a greater understanding of myself

as a writer. I realize that I value the idea of being able to connect with my readers and others

around me. When I feel as though I fail to make that connection I believe that I start to become

unvalued or unworthy. Creating writing that consists of a variety of emotions, thoughts, and

experiences all come into play to express me as a writer. When creating a discourse the

emotional roller coaster that one is continuously on can seem never ending. However, when

reaching the end, and apprehending the fact that, believe it or not, you actually survived, you

become one step closer to understanding the type of writer you are.
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Works Cited

Brandt Deborah. “Sponsors of Literacy.” Writing About Writing, edited by Elizabeth Wardle and

Doug Downs, Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2014, pp.

244-266. Print.

Lamott, Anne. “Shitty First Drafts”, Writing About Writing, edited by Elizabeth Wardle and

Doug Downs, Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2014, pp.

87-91. Print.

Rose, Mike. “Rigid Rules, Inflexible Plans, and the stifling of Language”, Writing About Writing,

edited by Elizabeth Wardle and Doug Downs, Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2014, pp.

158-171. Print.