Professor and Valerie

(Professor enters, he knocks at a door. Valerie peers around)

Professor: Evenin’. I’m knockin’ on doors just to ask a few questions to people and I was
wondering if…

Valerie: No! No, thank you. Not tonight…

Professor: Oh, I promise you, it’ll only take a few minutes.

Valerie: I said no! Goodbye…

Professor: Please wait! I’d be really grateful. I need these facts for me files, y’see…

Valerie: Have you got kids?

Professor: Well…

Valerie: I have and they need looking after so please just bugger off.

Professor: Fair enough. I know what that’s like. I used to have kids but me wife took them when
she left. This is all I got now. Sorry for wasting your time…

Valerie: Look, I guess I could answer a few…

Professor: Really!?

Valerie: Yes but be quick about it!

Professor: Oh thank you! So, when did you first come t’road?

Valerie: Was ‘bout 19, I think…

Professor: Anything else?

Valerie: We got married, had our kids and then rented this place…

Professor: Right...How has it been living here? Do you like it?

Valerie: It’s been tricky. Money’s been tight. ‘Ere, are you going to give me a bob or two for this?

Professor: Well, I’m not sure about that. Why has money…
Valerie: Well, I think I deserve it after this.

Professor: Why has money been tight?

Valerie: I left me job after I had me kids and the old man started bring home the bacon. Look, I
need to go…

Professor: Just a couple more. How’s your husband found working?

Valerie: He’s not anymore. He...um...got the sack after he went on strike. Now just stays here,
drinking…

Professor: Oh, can I ask him some questions as well?

Valerie: No! He don’t want t’be disturbed.

Professor: Oh, I’m sure he won’t mind.

Valerie: I said no! Look, let’s have a couple bob and you can then go.

Professor: I don’t have any money. I told you me wife left and after that, I’ve been struggling.
But doing this might help. Y’never know…

Valerie: Fine! Just go…

Professor: But I’ve still got some questions…

Valerie: Oh, just fuck off, won’t ya!

(Valerie closes the door)

Professor: Right, on t’next house…