WORKSHOP #5

Objectives:
● Students will be able to understand the reasons why people feel insecure and will be able
to make suggestions to overcome it.

Why am I so insecure? What causes insecurity?

There is an internal dialogue that accompanies our feelings of insecurity. This is called the “critical
inner voice.” Dr. Lisa Firestone, who co-authored the book Conquer Your Critical Inner
Voice wrote, “The critical inner voice is formed out of painful early life experiences in which we
witnessed or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or those close to us. As we grow up, we
unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and
others.”
So, what events or attitudes shape this inner critic? The experiences we have with our influential
early caretakers can be at the root of our insecurity as adults. Imagine a child being yelled at by a
parent. “You’re so spaced out! Can’t you figure anything out on your own?” Then, imagine the
negative comments and attitudes parents express toward themselves. “I look terrible in this. I’m so
fat.” These attitudes don’t even have to be verbalized to influence the child. A parent’s absence can
leave children feeling insecure and believing there is something fundamentally wrong with them. An
intrusive parent can cause children to become introverted or self-reliant in ways that make them
feel insecure or untrusting of others. 

The Effect of Insecurity

It’s clear that there are many things that shape our critical inner voice, from negative attitudes
directed toward us to attitudes our parents had toward themselves. As we get older, we internalize
these points of view as our own. We keep these attitudes alive by believing in our insecurities as we
go along in life. The most common critical inner voices Dr.’s Robert and Lisa Firestone found people
to experience throughout their day include:
● You’re stupid.
● You’re unattractive.
● You never get anything right.
● No one will ever love you.
● You’re such a loser.
● You’ll never make friends.
● You’ll never be able to quit drinking (smoking etc).
● What’s the point in even trying?

Insecurity at Work
Insecurity can affect us in countless areas of our lives. Every person will notice their inner critic
being more vocal in one area or another. For example, you may feel pretty confident at work but
completely lost in your love life or vice versa. Some common critical inner voices about one’s career
include:
● You don’t know what you’re doing.
● Who do you think you are? You’ll never be successful.
● You’re under too much pressure. You can’t take it.
● You’d better be perfect, or you’ll get fired.

Insecurity in Relationships
Whether we are single, dating or in a serious, long-term relationship, there are many ways our
critical inner voice can creep in to our romantic lives. Relationships, in particular, can stir up past
hurts and experiences. Common critical inner voices we have toward ourselves about relationships
include:

● You’re never going to find another person who understands you.

● Don’t get too hooked on her.
● He doesn’t really care about you.
● She is too good for you.

How Can I Overcome Insecurity?

Once we have a better sense of where our insecurity comes from and the profound influence it is
having on our lives, we can begin to challenge it. We can start by interrupting the critical inner voice
process.

ACTIVITY # 1
Answer the questions below:

Answer the following questions:

1. According to the text, where does “The critical inner voice” come from?

-it is internal dialogue that accompanies our feelings of insecurity

2. How does a caregiver affect a child's personality in the future?

-It affects in a sentimental way since his father has never been there to support him but he has
always been a stranger feeling so insecure with his same family

3. Why do parents attack their own children?

-parents can attack their own children so that they do not fulfill their duties and so they can see
a rose between parents and children where they can treat badly and this is how it all begins

4. Write four (4) more common voices on “effects of insecurity”.

1. I am nobody
2. I am very little
3. nobody loves me
4. sometimes I don't feel important to anyone

5. Write four (4) more common voices for “Job insecurity”.

1. make things perfect
2. you will never be successful you are nobody
3. if you can't stand the pressure, you're nobody
4. you will be fired if you are not perfect
6. Write four (4) most common voices of “Insecurity in relationships”.
1. I will never find a person who loves you
2. He will never love you or wanted you
3. She is too much for you
4. You are too little for her

7. Write the end of the previous text “Why am I so insecure? What Causes Insecurity? "
● Write 5 suggestions to overcome insecurity.
● Explain each step that people must follow.

One of the suggestions to overcome the insecurity is to get a good friend who supports you in
everything and knows that this person will be there for you through thick and thin the first step
to achieve this would be to be yourself to start getting together with a person and the person
who stays with you no matter how you are that person is the right one because he loves you as
you are and you can always count on that person to overcome your insecurities: 3ACTIVITY #
2:

1. Read about Edward. He has a job interview in a few days. Write five
suggestions for him to feel confident. Use the examples from the box above.

1: get up early so you can get ready

2: go without security and sign in your answers
3: look well-groomed and safely
4: always answer truthfully and too confidently
5: let them realize that you are a very confident person in their work and that
you know how to do it
2. Circle the correct word. Making suggestions. (5 points)
1. Why don’t / should / doesn’t you visit your family in Cartagena?
2. Have you thought about to ask /asking / asked your mother where the phone is?
3. You would / should / could take some rest now. You look quite tired.
4. What about coming / to come / came with us to the discotheque?
5. Maybe you would / should / could try not to use your cellphone in class.