LESSON 3: N - NO TRAIN

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Lesson #3 - N stands for “No Train.”

Welcome back to the Follow-Through Formula. Today we’re focused on one of my favorite

lessons, the No Train. And specifically, why you need to get yourself a first class ticket on the No

Train, A-S-A-P.

Look, saying “no” to yourself and others is essential to follow through. This isn’t about being an

arrogant a-hole, this isn’t about saying no haphazardly. This is about saying no deliberately and

strategically and, of course, compassionately.

Please listen to me when I say this, okay: you have GOT to give yourself permission to STOP

trying to do it all. Stop saying yes to everyone and everything and every new idea. Because here’s

the truth: everything you say YES to, means you’re saying NO to something else. In economic

terms, that’s called “opportunity cost” and it’s a serious thing.

So for example, say you’re invited to a bridal shower that honestly, you don’t want to go to. But

you say yes out of a sense of guilt and then drive hours to get there, and you wind up getting stuck

in traffic and spending the entire day regretting your choice. That’s time that you just can’t ever

get back – time you could have spent working towards your goal, or just being with your family, or

your kids, or doing something meaningful to move ahead your business.

Now creative people, we are particularly guilty of saying yes to way too much. Especially to our

own projects. The other thing we’re notorious for is underestimating what it takes to actually get

things done in terms of time and effort.

So if you’re truly ready to master your ability to follow through and you are done living in a state

of constant overwhelm, then it is essential that you get your buns on what I call the “No Train” as

soon as possible. Now, when you’re on the “No Train,” you just simply allow “no” to be your initial

response to all new projects, new requests, and new demands of your time.

And when you’re on the “No Train,” you also say NO to spending hours watching TV or getting

sucked into the comparison sinkhole of social media. You say NO to any and all time sucks and

energy sucks and non-essentials.

Because I gotta say, the alternative, it ain’t cute. Saying yes to too much only leaves you feeling

frustrated and resentful and exhausted, right? And I don’t know about you, but feeling frustrated

and resentful and exhausted is not a place from which you can do your best work or make your

highest contribution.

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 However, when you get on the No Train and you train yourself to say yes to less, what you really

get is more. More time and space to do the deep and important work that you were born to do.
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More breathing room. More white space. More freedom. More energy to devote to things that

truly matter, like spending time with people that you love.

Before we wrap up this session, one of the things that stops people from getting and staying on

the No Train is not knowing how to say no with grace and kindness.

I think we’ve all heard that saying, “No is a complete sentence.” But c’mon now, I mean, let’s be

real. If someone writes you an email asking for something and you just type back “No” and hit

send, it’s not going to feel that good to you or to them.

So here’s a simple and elegant way to say no, and this is inspired by my pal and bestselling author

Bob Burg, who’s been a guest on MarieTV:

“Thanks so much for thinking of me. While it’s not something I’d like to do, please know how

honored I am to be asked.”

And now if you get some push back, like someone saying to you “Oh c’mon – we really need you.

You HAVE to say yes,” do not cave. Do not let anyone bully you. And do NOT start justifying your

answer or talk about how overwhelmed you are, or open up any room for possible further rebuttal.

Just say this:

“I’d just rather not, but thank you SO MUCH for thinking of me.”

Elegant and honest, right? Just like you. And with that, we have come to the end of session 3 of

the Follow-Through Formula. Great work! So remember, N stands for the No Train, and as of

right now, you officially have yourself a first class ticket, so wave it loud and proud.

Do This Now: Download your Fun Sheet below and just work through all the prompts. What

you’re gonna do is re-examine your projects and your upcoming commitments and take a look. Is

there anything on there that you can decline or get out of ? Now of course, if you do you’re gonna

be classy and elegant about it — but honestly, from this moment forward, if it’s not a hell yes, let

it be a hell no, because you are on the No Train. CHOO CHOO!

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