I Hope You'll Give Yourself The Permission To Struggle

Assalammualaikum Ladies, 

I'm so so happy to report that just the other day, as I was out on my
way to lunch, I caught a glance of a few flowers blooming on a tree that
was once bare and withered just a few weeks ago. Which could only
mean one thing - we are saying goodbye to the last few traces of
Winter, and are preparing to welcome Spring anytime soon! 

For those of you who have stuck around long enough, you'd know just
how much I dread winter. I always see it as an opportunity (or an
excuse) to fly back to Singapore, just so I can escape the season. But
this year I thought I did pretty OK (fine, I still "ran away" to Singapore
for 3 weeks) but I did not complain about the weather nor did I fall sick
or got extremely lethargic as how I'd be the past couple of years. I have
to say, this Winter, is my best one yet, Alhamdulillah!

And this impending change of season got me to thinking on how we

too, have seasons in our lives! For example, last year from March all
the way to October, I was going through one of my worst "seasons" yet.
It was my Season of Struggle. 

Everything that I thought I knew or that I thought I could depend on,

crumbled and fall. And everything that I thought I was slowly building
and growing, collapsed. 

In March, my first instinct was to find a solution. And I wanted a

solution, QUICK. and EASY. and FUSS-FREE. But real life is far from
how a cleaning detergent advertisement would sound like. Nothing is
ever quick, easy, and fuss-free.

By July, I was exhausted. I did everything to the best that I can - I

remained patient, I never stopped praying to Him for help, I was still
hopeful, but I was limping. I was tired.

And then something happened in September.

I started giving myself the permission to struggle. I allowed myself to

be OK with the fact that things are not OK. And I reassured myself that
at that moment, this was exactly what Allah wanted me to do: to
struggle.

Sometimes, we are so obsessed with wanting life to be smooth-sailing,

and to having tiny, perfect solutions to everything. 

But life's a beautiful mess. And it goes up and down and

sometimes it stretches wide, other times it crushes you in it's
narrowness, sometimes it's so eerily quiet, other times it's a loud bang.
Life's beautiful like that. But I've learned a very important thing about
life: it's temporary.

And just like my season of Struggle - that, was temporary too.

--

Soon enough, by my 30th birthday in October, I was welcoming an

entire new season. And I named it my season of Rebirth. Because I
started afresh, my business started afresh, my relationships started
afresh. 
But when I caught myself riding the high wave of life, enjoying this new
phase of ease, my soul whispered, "don't forget to be grateful Aida,
because can't you see? The cycle has begun, and this happiness too, is
temporary" 

--

Some people then argue, "so what's the point? Since everything is
temporary, what's the point in life?"

And to this I answer, "that is exactly the point. To know that nothing
lasts forever, so if you are enjoying a moment of happiness, of joy, of
peacefulness, of calmness, then embrace it, with all of your heart.
And never take it for granted. And if you are currently struggling,
striving, fighting for a way out - don't despair. Because this pain is
temporary, and sooner or later, you will smile and laugh again."

So I hope, whichever season you are currently in my dear, give yourself

the permission to fully immerse in it. Don't rush to get out of it,
because Allah in His infinite Wisdom, wants you to be where you are
right now. Observe what is the current season in your life trying to
teach you. What is it that you have to face or confront, or cut off or
forgive or be grateful for at this particular juncture in your life?

And for those of you who are currently going through a difficult time,
it's ok. You don't need to solve everything today. But what you
can do is to start giving yourself the permission to struggle, and to start
running back to Him. Doesn't matter in what state you're in -
brokenness, despair, hopelessness - just run back to Him.

And once you do that, please promise me you'll never look back? Stay
in the comfort of His Mercy and of His Love, because it's in that space
 that you'll start giving yourself the permission to do even greater
things. :)

Love and prayers always,

A

To the sisters who is searching for resilience in facing life uncertainties

1. We will never know what happen to us in the next @ future.

2. Allah swt is the only One who has the full view of our journey of the past, present and
future.
3. Predictability – what we expect in our life because it is easy to manage.
4. Uncertainty – offers the space for us to be in touch with how we feel, how we think, how we
crucially explore the myriads of possibility and put us in a position of exploring possibilities.
5.