Poerio
Press


1

L’
intera
collezione
delle
tavole
della
Poerio
Press,
create
tra

la
fine
del
2008
e
la
meta’
del
2010.


I
 disegni
 sono
 tu=
 opera
 degli
 ar?s?
 della
 Poerio
 Press,
 ivi

compreso
quello
ispirato
all’immortale
Altan.


La
 riproduzione
 delle
 tavole
 e’
 rigorosamente
 incoraggiata,


previo
accordo
con
la
Poerio
Press.


Pievepelago,
estate
2010


2

This
is
the
full
collec?on
of
the
Poerio
Press
cartoons
created

between
the
end
of
2008
and
mid‐2010.



The
art
work
is
en?rely
done
by
Poerio
Press
ar?sts,
included

one
consis?ng
in
a
deliberate
plagiariza?on
of
the
immortal

Altan.


The
reproduc?on
of
these
cartoons
is
absolutely
encouraged,

with
the
agreement
of
Poerio
Press.


Pievepelago,
summer
2010


3

Epiphany

(6
January
2008)


Priest
 John’s
 saga
 is
 likely
 be


pure
 fantasy,
 but
 the
 Father

Georg
 gossip
 
 may
 very
 well

be
be
accurate.
At
any
rate,
it

is
 a
 fact
 that
 our
 two
 heroes

portrayed
in
the
picture
never

chased
a
skirt,
live
alone,
and

love
 garish
 and
 expensive

clothes.
 Just
 think
 how

beauDful
 it
 would
 be
 be
 
 if

they
 both
 decided
 to
 come

out
of
the
closet,
thus
ending

persecuDons
 against
 de‐facto

c o u p l e s !
 A h ,
 w h a t
 a

wonderful
epiphany

it

would

be….


4

Italians
and

Racism

(20
April

2009)

T w o
 d a n c e r s

d i s c u s s
 t h e

perennial
 naDonal

i s s u e :
 a r e
 w e

racists,
too?

The
 one
 on
 the

leL
 deplores
 that

Italy
 is
 not
 taking

p a r t
 i n
 a
 U N

C o n fe re n c e
 o n

r a c i s m .
 H i s

c o m p a n i o n

replies:
 I
 should

t h i n k
 s o,
 w i t h

everybody
 busy

b o o i n g
 b l a c k

p l a y e r s
 i n

stadiums.




5

Poerio
Press
on

Divorces

(6
May
2009)


Unfortunately,
the

Supremo's

vicissitudes
keep

distracDng
Poerio

Press
from

performing
its


mission
of

ponderous
and

equanimous


observer.


6

Poerio
Press
borrows


from
Grosz

(31
May
2010)


A
 new
 form
 of
 saDre,
 or


r a t h e r
 s a t y r e
 i n
 t h i s

parDcular
 case,
 borrows

from
 the
 immortal
 Grosz

and,to
celebrate
the
spirit
of

his
 Dme
 ,offers
 
 capDons
 in

g o t h i c ‐ r e n d e r e d

Germanesque
esperanto.

The
 excuse,
 of
 course,
 is

provided
 by
 press
 reports

according
 to
 which
 our

Leader
 has
 been
 using

military
 planes
 to
 ferry

platoons
of
his
young
female

guests
 to
 and
 from
 his
 130‐
hectare
Sardinian
Xanadu.


7

Altro
che
fes?cciole
in

Sardegna

(2
June
2009)


An
elevaDng
conversaDon

recorded
by
Poerio
Press.

The
 priest
 on
 the
 leL
 remarks

that
Berlusconi
has
the
habit
of

wearing
 high
 heels
 incognito.

And
the
monsignor
replies:
My

God,
this
sure
beats
the
stories

about
wild
parDes
in
Sardinia.




8

Intercep?ng
the

Working
Class

(2
June
2009)


In
 his
 inimitable
 style,
 
 Fausto


BerDno`,
 former
 leader
 of
 the

radical‐chic
leL
and
former
darling

of
 
 cultural
 circles
 and
 TV
 show,

recently
lamented
that
“the
leL
is

not
 capable
 of
 intercepDng

workers
 any
 more”.
 Poerio
 Press

suggests
 that
 he
 would
 profit

from
 pracDcing
 out
 of
 the

M e d i t e r r a n e a n
 i s l a n d
 o f

Lampedusa,
 where
 workers
 in

s e a r c h
 o f
 w o r k
 a r e
 b e i n g

intercepted
 by
 the
 boatloads
 and

mercilessy
 deported
 to
 the

northern
shores
of
friendly
Libya.



9

L’
U?lizzatore

(18
giugno
2009)


Berlusconi's
 favourite
 MP


and
 personal
 lawyer

clarified
 that
 if,
 and
 only

if,
 he
 happened
 to
 make

use
 of
 a
 hooker
 claiming

to
have
spent
the
night
in


his
 personal
 apartments

c o u r t e sy
 o f
 a
 c l o s e

associate,
 this
 would
 not

c o n s D t u t e
 a n y

wrongdoing
 on
 his
 part,

since
he
would
have
been

a
mere
"end
uDlizer".

A
 slightly
 suspicious
 wife

asks
 a
 gentleman
 faintly

r e s e m b l i n g

Burlesqueoni’s
 lawyer:

“What’s
that
red
mark
on

your
neck?”

“Nothing”,
 he
 answers
 –

“I
was
just
uDlizing”.


10

Les
Italiens

24
June
2009)


Those
who
cannot
but
follow
the

sad
state
of
affairs
in
these
parts

of
 the
 world
 
 will
 recall
 that
 the

so‐called
 "Lodo
 Alfano"
 is
 a
 law

shielding
the
four
highest
elected

officials
 in
 the
 country
 from

prosecuDon
 while
 in
 office.
 One

might
add
that
the
current
prime

minister,
 who
 was
 not
 averse
 to

t h i s
 p a r D c u l a r
 p i e c e
 o f

legislaDon,
 
 also
 tends
 to
 be
 re‐
elected
 to
 his
 posiDon
 with


remarkable
regularity.

In
 this
 parDcular
 instance,
 the

two
 Italian
 VIPs
 on
 the
 leL

l a m e n t
 t h e
 c o n D n u i n g

indiscreDons
 about
 their
 prime

minister ’s
 senDmental
 life,

vowing
to
put
things
to
rest
soon

with
adequate
legislaDon.

The
 other
 two
 react
 in
 an

amiable
 and
 understanding

fashion..



11

Conversa?on

(2
July
2009)


In
 a
 
 quasi‐modernist
 se`ng,
 this


watercolour
 from
 one
 of
 Poerio

Press’s
 celebrated
 arDsts
 displays
 a

dispirited
 couple
 carrying
 out
 a

pointless
 conversaDon.
 He
 recalls

fondly
 how
 safe
 and
 Dmely
 trains

were
 under
 fascism.
 In
 a
 sort
 of

languid
 agreement,
 she
 is
 quick
 to

point
 out
 that
 this
 very
 fact
 proves

how
 preposterous
 it
 is
 to
 imagine

we
are
sinking
back
into
Fascism.

The
reference
is
to
the
lamentable

performance
of
the
railway
system

in
the
year
of
the
lord
2009.



Artwork
and
text
courtesy
of
Poerio

Press.
ReproducDon
encouraged.


12

The
Way
Out

of
the
Crisis

(24
July
2009)

The
 same
 experts

who
 led
 us
 into
 it

now
 say
 that
 the


financial/economic

crisis
has
reached
its

bonom,
 and
 that

there
 is
 no
 way
 but

up
 from
 now
 on.

D e s p i t e
 t h i s ,

members
 of
 this

publishing
 house

remain
skepDcal
and

p l a n
 to
 t r y
 a n d

a c c o m p l i s h
 t h e

climb
 by
 relying
 on

tradiDonal
 means
 ‐

picks,
 bolts
 and

ropes.


13

Freedom
of
the
Press


(27
September
2009)


If
 the
 press
 pays
 linle
 or
 no
 anenDon


to
a
naDonal
protest
rally
in
defense
of

the
 freedom
 of
 the
 press,
 there
 is

certainly
no
cause
to
worry.
Either
the

issue
is
grossly
overrated,
or
it's
far
too

late
to
do
anything
about
it.


14

Problemi
del
Paese


(28
Se]embre
2009)

M a s s i m o
 D ' A l e m a ,
 s e l f ‐
appointed
 godfather
 of
 the

party
that
sDll
believes
to
be
the

main
 opposiDon
 force
 in
 the

country,
 reiterated
 today
 his

strong
 belief
 that
 a
 great

reformist
movement
should
not

just
 devote
 itself
 to
 opposing

B e r l u s c o n i ,
 b u t
 r a t h e r

endeavour
 to
 sort
 out
 
 the

c o u n t r y ' s
 p ro b l e m s .
 O n e

malicious
 Poerio
 Press
 reader

suggests
 that
 this
 is
 just
 one

more
megalomaniac
ploy
on
his

part
to
draw
anenDon
to
one
of

the
 country’s
 great
 problems:

himself.


15

Talibans
1


(17
October
2009)


According
 to
 the
 London
 Times,
 
 Italian


troops
 in
 Afghanistan
 bought
 safety
 by

bribing
 the
 Talibans.
 Over
 here,
 word
 at

court
 is
 that
 Rupert
 Murdoch,
 owner
 of

that
 paper
 and
 fierce
 compeDtor
 of

Berlusconi's
over
the
italian
TV
market,
is

simply
 anempDng
 to
 embarass
 his
 rival.

Meanwhile,
 Berlusconi
 is
 trying
 to

undermine
 his
 own
 main
 domesDc
 rival,

by
 predicDng
 that
 the
 state‐owned
 and

government‐controlled
 public
 radio
 and

TV
 
 is
 so
 bad
 (meaning:
 inquisitve
 and

criDcal)
that
Italians
will
stop
paying
their

subscripDons
 (read:
 less
 viewers;
 less

adverDsing
money
for
the
public
network;

more
adverDsing
money
for
its
compeDtor

‐
Berlusconi‐owned
three
and
only
private

networks).

The
 first
 reader
 says
 that
 it
 appears
 that

the
 Italians
 paid
 off
 the
 Talibans.
 Her

companions
 replies:
 “Hard
 to
 imagine

from
 people
 who
 do
 not
 even
 pay
 their

state
TV
subscripDons.”
 16

Talibans
2

gli americani
(17
October
2009)
 sospettano che
berluscon abbia figuriamoci. non
pagato i talibani. sono mica
giudici.

Poerio
Press
offers
a
variant
on

the
 Taliban
 bribes
 theme.
 It
 is

based
 on
 Burlesqueoni's

Freudian
 slip,
 aptly
 underlined

by
one
of
our
readers,
when
he

l a m e n t e d
 i n
 p u b l i c
 h i s

e n o r m o u s
 p e r s o n a l

disbursements
 to
 pay
 off

consultants
 and
 judges.
 Even

when
 it
 comes
 to
 bribes,

priorites
 are
 prioriDes.
 Foreign

readers
 taking
 interest
 in
 the

nuances
of
the
Italian
language

will
 noDce
 the
 "mica",
 a

priceless
 and
 ubiquitous

adverb
 which
 funcDons
 as
 an

odd
negaDve
reinforcement.


poerio press 2009

17

Gay
Socks

IN
PARLAMENTO


©Poerio
Press
‐
September
2009

(22
October
2009)


One
 of
 Burlesqueoni'sTV
 channels
 aired


on
 prime
 Dme
 a
 sneaky
 video
 of
 Judge

Mesiano,
 revealing
 to
 all
 law‐abiding

ciDzens
 that
 he
 wears
 turquoise
 socks.

Some
 of
 the
 most
 acute
 commentators

linked
this
news
item
to
the
fact
that
the

s a m e
 j u d g e
 h a d
 c o n d e m n e d

Burlesqueoni's
 
 firm
 to
 a
 fine
 of
 750

million
euros
for
bribing
tacDcs
in
winning

a
 publishing‐house
 takeover
 dispute.
 The

two
 disDnguished
 MPs
 appearing
 in
 this

Poerio
 Press
 produced
 cartoon
 hold
 a

dignified
discussion
over
the
incident.
The

first
 one
 remarks
 that
 the
 corrupt,

pedophile,
communist
and
criminal
judge

wears
 turquoise
 socks.
 His
 colleague,

presumably
 from
 the
 same
 party,
 warns

that
 one
 should
 not
 jump
 to
 unfair

conclusions:
 wearing
 turquoise
 socks

does
not
automaDcally
qualify
one
as
gay.

The
joke,
if
there
is
one,
is
that
qualifying

a
 magistrate
 as
 corrupt,
 pedophile,

communist
and
criminal
does
not
require

any
burden
of
proof.


“Quel
pedofilo
corrono
comunista
del
giudice

Misiano
porta
calzini
color
turchese”.

“Non
e’
deno
che
debba
essere
gay.
Andiamoci

18

piano
con
le

illazioni”.

 IN
PARLAMENTO

Rulings


©Poerio
Press
r
2009

(4
November
2009)


Yesterday's
 
European
Court
of
Human

Right's
 ruling
 against
 crucifixes
 in

I t a l i a n
 c l a s s r o o m s
 c a u s e d
 a n

immediate
uproar
on
both
sides
of
the

Tiber.
 Two
 of
 Poerio
 Press's
 favourite

characters,
 probably
 idenDfiable
 as

MPs
of
the
ruling
god‐fearing
and
law‐
not‐so‐abiding
 
coaliDon,
comment
on

the
 preposterous
 pronouncement.

"How
 foolish
 ",says
 one
 of
 the

honourable
 member
 of
 parliament
 ;"

don't
 they
 know
 that
 students
 are

crowding
 in
 classrooms
 just
 to
 admire

the
 crucifix?"(Recently,
 the
 current

Minister
 of
 EducaDon
 ruled
 that

classrooms
 in
 elementary
 schools

should
 have
 no
 less
 than
 37
 students.

Yes:
no
less).
 “La
Corte
Europea
obiena
ai
crocifissi
nelle
aule

italiane.”

“IgnoranD.
Proprio
ora
che
gli
alunni
si
affollano

19

sempre
di
piu’
per
ammirarli.”

Revela?ons


(8
November
2010)


A
 celebrated
 TV
 night
 show
 host
 and


confidant
 of
 powerful
 poliDcians,
 Mr.

Bruno
 Vespa,
 
 churns
 out
 at
 least
 a

book
a
year.
This
Dme
he
leaked
out
so

m a n y
 " r e v e l a D o n s "
 a h e a d
 o f

publicaDon
that
interest
risked
waning.

But
 the
 man
 had
 a
 phenomenal
 trick

up
his
sleeve,
as
usual.
This
one
has
to

do
 with
 the
 enormous
 interest

associaDon
 with
 transexuals
 has

received
 of
 late
 in
 this
 sad
 country
 of

ours.


20

Lost
in
Dis?nc?on


(16
November
2009)


"Uolter"
stands
for
"Walter
Veltroni,

the
former
mayor
of
Rome,
former

leader
of
the
center‐leL
coaliDon
that

was
famously
defeated
by
Berlusconi

at
the
last
naDonal
elecDon,
former

secretary
of
the
Italian
DemocraDc

Party,
and
former
poliDcal
has
been

since
announcing
he
wants
more
of
it.

The
more
suave
of
the
two
newspaper

readers,
by
now
frequent
actors
on
the

Poerio
Press
stage,
reports
the
news

that
"Uolter"
decided
to
forget
about

engaging
in
third‐world
issues
and
to

resume
his
poliDcal
fight
in
Italy.
The

second
newspaper
reader,
perfidious

as
ever,
confesses
nonchalantly
his

inability
to
grasp
the
difference

between
the
two.


21

Fresco
Cartoon


(20
November
2009)

It
 appears
 cartoonists
 start
 with

a
sketch
that
they
later
develop,

oLen
 aLer
 more
 than
 one
 try,

into
a
final
drawing.
This
one
is
a

n e w
 s t y l e
 c a l l e d
 " f r e s c o

cartoon":
 the
 kind
 of
 thing
 you

come
 out
 with,
 for
 example,

while
 doodling
 during
 a
 boring

seminar.
 This
 one
 was
 such
 a

darling
that

P.P.
decided
to
send

it
 out
 as
 is,
 warts
 and
 all.
 The

first
 MP
 says:
 "We'll
 make
 trials

expire
even
sooner,
like
the
boss

wants".
 And
 his
 comrade‐at‐
arms
replies:
"Just
as
long
as
the

communists
 don't
 find
 a
 way
 to

speed
them
up”.

Note:
This
is
a
true
story,
being


enacted
in
the
Italian
Parliament

by
characters
not
too
dissimilar

from
the
ones
portrayed
in
this

vigne<e.


22

Hymn
to
the
Marines


(25
November
2009)

On
the
occasion
of
Thanksgiving,

and
 in
 eager
 anDcipaDon
 of
 the

U.S.
marines'
reprisal,
this
Poerio

P r e s s
 c o m i c
 w a s
 i s s u e d

exc l u s i ve l y
 i n
 t h e
 E n g l i s h

language.


23

Crucial
Weapons


(17
December
2009)


The
 generic
 enDty
 known
 as


"the
 press",
 as
 disDnguished

from
 the
 uniquely
 disDncDve

Poerio
 Press,
 reported
 that
 
 a

crucifix
was
in
the
possession
of

Mr.
 Berlusconi's
 anacker
 at
 the

moment
 of
 his
 onslaught.
 The

news
reached
all
corners
of
the

globe,
 including
 the
 secluded

fort
 of
 the
 French
 Foreign

Legion
 which
 occasionally

reports
 to
 Poerio
 Press.
 The

comment
 on
 the
 part
 of
 the

very
 well
 informed
 recruit

responding
 to
 this
 news
 was

that
 in
 view
 of
 this
 the

European
 Union
 was
 very
 well

advised,
 in
 a
 recent
 (and
 hotly

disputed)
 ruling
 of
 its
 Human

Rights
 Tribunal,
 
 to
 warn
 about

the
use
of
crucifixes
in
public.


24

Everybody
Wins
in

Copenhagen


©Poerio
Press
2009

(20
December
2009)


Everybody
 won,
 reflects
 the


driver
 on
 a
 sunny
 Sunday

morning.
 The
 Chinese,
 for

example,
 managed
 not
 to

h a v e
 t h e i r
 e m i s s i o n s

monitored
 against
 emission

standards.His
 companion

agrees:"
 And
 the
 others

managed
 not
 to
 have
 ANY

emission
standards".















MAGISTRALE
COMPROMESSO
A
COPENHAGEN


“Hanno
vinto
tu`:
I
cinesi
hanno
salvato
l’onore
sconfiggendo

l’idea
degli
americani
di
controlli
internazionali
sui
limiD
delle

emissioni
di
gas
serra”.


“E
tu`
gli
altri
sono
riusciD
a
sconfiggere
l’idea
di
porre
dei
limiD

alle
emissioni
di
gas
serra.”configgere
l’idea
di
porre
dei
limiD
ai
gas

serra”.

25

La
ronda
di
Natale


(23
December
2009)

A
 tough
 one
 for
 the
 non‐indigenous
 Poerio

Press
 readership.
 The
 three
 Kings
 of
 Orient

have
the
likes
of
the
three
main
leaders
of
the

Lega
 Party:
 Calderoli,
 Bossi,
 and
 Maroni.
 The

Lega
zealots
are
all
for
God
and
country
(hence

the
 Italian
 flag
 with
 the
 cross
 in
 the
 middle),

but
 they
 also
 have
 this
 problem
 with
 non‐
indigenous
 people,
 parDcularly
 Africans
 and

gypsies.
 To
 protect
 their
 women
 from
 these

threatening
 barbarians,
 "La
 Lega"
 managed
 to

authorize
 volunteer
 vigilante
 patrols.
 Only
 six

of
 them
 have
 been
 formed
 so
 far,
 apparently,

but
 one
 of
 them
 is
 certainly
 this
 one
 in

Bethlehem,
rightly
concerned
about
the
many

suspicious
 foreigners
 congregated
 in
 town
 ‐

and
determined
to
teach
them
a
good
lesson.

Presents
can
wait.


See:
hnp://
poeriopressatchristmas.blogspot.com/


And
by
the
way:
Merry
Christmas!!!!
 26

Forty
Years
and
Coun?ng


(27
December
2009)


I
 due
 sposini
 si
 domandano


p e r c h e ’
 m a i ,
 d o p o

quarant’anni
di
matrimonio,

rimediano
 solo
 la
 pagina
 del

giornale
con
I
cartoni
animaD.


©Poerio
Press
2009

Ma
come
mai
e’
possibile
che

accada
 contemporaneamente

a
tu`
e
due?

Dal
 movimento
 delle
 labbra,

purtroppo,
 non
 si
 capisce

quale
dei
due
si
lamenD.


Forty
years
and
counDng,
and
I
only
get
the
funnies.


27

Barely
into
the
New

Year,
Poerio
Press

Respeccully
Suggests


(1
January
2010)


In
fact,
the
Son
of
God's
idea
to

incarnate
himself
into
a
regular

human
being
might
have
been

c o n c e i v e d
 a s
 a
 d i d a c D c

admonishment
 to
 the
 roman

e m p e r o r s '
 p r e p o s t e r o u s

p r e t e n s e
 o f
 e l e v a D n g

themselves
 to
 godlike
 status.

Given
 that
 one
 of
 God's

recognized
qualiDes
is
to
know

the
 future,
 it
 is
 legiDmate
 to

i m a g i n e
 h e
 m a y
 h a v e

expressed
 some
 skepDcism
 at

t h e
 s u c c e s s
 o f
 t h e

iniDaDve.Nevertheless,
 we

plod
on.
Happy
New
Year!!!!


28

Pierluigia
e
Pierferdinando


(16
January
2010)

ALer
 the
 holiday
 goodism,
 PP
 reverts
 to

its
 usual,
 nasty,
 parochial
 self.
 In
 a

precarious
 balance
 on
 the
 lance
 of

Minerva,
 the
 Roman
 goddess
 of
 wisdom,

Pierlugi
 Bersani,
 newly
 elected
 head
 of

the
 ever
 shakier
 DemocraDc
 Party
 and

perfidiously
 portrayed
 as
 a
 disciplined

linle
 daughter,
 asks
 her
 putaDve
 father/
svengali
 Massimo
 D'Alema,
 ever
 the

eminence
grise,
why
she
is
not
allowed
to

play
 with
 Nicky
 (Nicky
 Vendola,
 the

popular
 governor
 of
 the
 Puglia
 region

seeking
 re‐elecDon).
 The
 former
 rising

star
 of
 the
 defunct
 communist
 Party

replies:
 "It's
 not
 about
 the
 earing
 he

wears.
The
fact
is
that
he's
a
communist.

Besides,
if
we
invite
him
to
play
with
you,

Pierferdinando,
 who
 is
 an
 excellent

prospect,
 will
 stop
 coming
 to
 the

house."
 (Pierferdinando
 Casini,
 former

rising
 star
 of
 the
 defunct
 ChrisDan

democrat
 party,
 is
 building
 a
 poliDcal

p o w e r h o u s e
 b y
 p u ` n g
 t o g e t h e r

redoubtable
 veterans
 of
 his
 old
 poliDcal

formaDon
 and
 selling
 his
 services
 to
 the

two
main
coaliDons).
For
once,
the
pun
is

Italian:
 "party"
 means
 both
 party
 in
 the

poliDcal
 sense
 and
 a
 marriage
 prospect.

Pierferdinando
 is
 neither,
 although
 his

wife
 is,
 since
 her
 daddy
 owns
 one
 of
 the

two
main
Rome
newspapers.

29

O]o
milioni
di
baione]e


(16
January
2010)


Stop
 Poerio
 Press:
 we
 
 wish
 to
 make


amends
 to
 Pierluigi
 Persani,
 the

embanled
 leader
 of
 Italy's
 DemocraDc

Party
 who
 has
 many
 problems,
 not
 all

of
which
of
his
own
making
and
who
is

also
 the
 frequent
 object
 of
 our
 idle

saDre.
 So:
 we
 just
 learnt
 that
 on
 the

occasion
 of
 a
 visit
 of
 
 
 the
 Calabria

Saudita
 town
 of
 Rosarno,
 where
 ugly

confontaDons
 took
 place
 between
 the

local
 populace
 and
 enslaved
 African

orange
 pickers,
 Bersani
 announced

that
 the
 country's
 4
 million
 migrants

areprobably
 not
 sufficient:
 Italy;s

economy
 probably
 needs
 four
 million

m o re .
 T h i s
 p o l i D c a l l y
 s u i c i d a l

statement
 requires
 a
 gesture
 of

sympathy:
 regardless,
 Bersani's
 eight

million
 
 figure
 sounds
 bener
 than

Mussolini's
 sinister
 eight
 million

bayonets.


30

Pagamen?


(20
January
20010)


"Il
 tempo
 e'
 galantuomo";
 Dme
 is
 a


gentleman,
 says
 an
 old
 Italian
 proverb.
 It

seems
to
have
worked
well
for
Mr.
Be`no

Craxi,
 who
 fled
 the
 country
 before
 being

served
 a
 ten‐year
 prison
 sentence
 for

corrupDon
and
illicit
financing
and
died

in

Tunisia
in
2000.
Exactly
ten
years
later,
the

President
 of
 the
 Republic
 
 sent
 and

divulged
 a
 lener
 
 to
 the
 
 family,
 which

maintains
 that
 he
 should
 not
 only
 be

judged
 for
 his
 (penal)
 convicDons
 and

suggests
that
Craxi
was
the
scapegoat
for
a

whole
 poliDcal
 class,
 equally
 guilty
 of

bribery
and
corrupDon,
and
actually
"paid

for
 everybody".
 ALer
 being
 informed
 of

this
development,
the
rooster
on
the
right,

who
 seems
 
 to
 remember
 something

about
 those
 events,
 objects:
 "Funny.
 I

thought
he
was
the
one
being
paid".
From

the
Poerio
Press
"Les
coq
Parlantes"
series,

courtesy
of
De
Ruta
poneries.


31

 Pierluigia
e
Tonino


(29
January
2010)

Things
 are
 ge`ng
 ever
 more
 arcane
 for
 the
Poerio
 Press
 non‐
indigenous
readership.
However,
the
most
anenDve
subscribers

across
the
ocean
will
recall
the
beginning
of
this
parDcular
saga,

with
 the
 father
 D'Alema
 dissuading
 his
 affecDonate
 and
 well‐
behaved
 daughter,
 Pierluigia,
 from
 playing
 with
 the

transgressive
 Nichi,
 and
 announcing
 instead
 her
 future

marriage
with
the
gallant
and
well‐bred
Pierferdinando.
Out
of

metaphor,
D'Alema
is
the
rumoured
playmaker
behind
the
new

secretary
 of
 the
 democraDc
 party,
 Pierluigi
 Bersani,
 who

imposed
 on
 his
 party
 the
 brilliant
 strategy
 of
 selecDng
 a
 loser

for
 the
 upcoming
 Puglia
 governorship
 elecDons
 in
 lieu
 of
 the

highly
 popular
 incumbent,
 Nichi
 Vedola,
 who
 has
 five

characterisDcs:
 he
 is
 a
 catholic,
 a
 declared
 gay,
 an
 unashamed

communist
 ,
 an
 excellent
 administrator
 ‐
 and
 does
 not
 give
 a

hoot
 about
 party
 discipline.
 The
 first
 thing
 is
 OK,
 and
 in
 fact

highly
praised;
the
second
one
is
bad,
but
hardly
objecDonable

within
 a
 party
 that
 aspires
 to
 capture
 the
 gay
 vote;
 
 the
 last

three,
 total
 anathema.Subsequently,
 Nichi
 called
 the

Democrats'
 
 bluff
 and
 demands
 that
 the
 candidate
 be
 picked

according
 to
 the
 party's
 most
 cherished
 imitaDon
 of
 the

American
 poliDcal
 process:
 primary
 elecDons.
 
 And
 he
 wins

them
 handsomely.
 Of
 course,
 Pierferdinando's
 neo‐catholic

party
 refuses
 an
 alliance
 with
 such
 an
 objecDonable

character.In
 comes
 Tonino
 di
 Pietro,
 the
 most
 fearsome

compeDtor
 of
 the
 DemocraDc
 party
 because
 of
 his
 reputaDon

for
his
fierce
opposiDon
to
Burlesqueoni

(most
democrats
find

such
 an
 opposiDon
 objecDonable,
 mainly
 because
 they
 think

they
should
have
a
monopoly
in
this
area).
Up
to
now,
he
was

being
held
at
safe
distance.
But
now,
the
confusion
is
such
aLer

the
 Nichi
 tsunami
 that
 Bersani
 rushed
 to
 signing
 a
 formal

alliance
 pact
 with
 the
 aforesaid
 Tonino
 Di
 Pietro.Our
 gentle

metaphor
 calls,
 therefore,
 for
 Pierluigia
 (see
 capDon)
 gently

complaining
with
her
father
about
his
opposiDon
to
Nichi,
who

has
 just
 been
 elected
 head
 of
 his
 class;
 and
 D'Alema
 trying
 to

pacify
his
paDent
daughter
Pierluigia
by
announcing
her
future
 32

heart
friend:
Tonino.

Mafia
and
Soccer


(30
January
2010)


One
 of
 our
 two
 somber


impersonators
comment

on
 a
 recent
 news
 item:

Italy's
 
 AssociaDon
 of

I n d u s t r i a l i s t s


announced
 that
 from

n o w
 o n ,
 a l l

entrepreneurs
 who
 pay

extorDon
 money
 to
 the

mafia
 will
 be
 expelled.

T h e
 o t h e r
 o n e

comments:
 and
 for
 the

e n t r e p r e n e u rs
 w h o

pocket
 the
 extorDon

m o n e y,
 a t
 l e a s t
 a

warning.


33

Bamboccioni


(3
February
2010)

On
 a
 recent
 visit,
 a
 dearest
 friend
 and
 long‐Dme

supporter
of
Poerio
Press,
Roberto
T.,
erupted
in
a

goodhearted
 
 laugh
 at
 the
 narraDon
 of
 a
 new

vignene
being
hatched
at
the
Dme.
This
provided

the
sDmulus
for
its
rendiDon
in
cartoon
form.Non‐
indigenous
readers
are
no
doubt
familiar
with
the

uniquely
 Italian
 son‐stay‐at
 home
 phenomenon.

These
 youths,
 whose
 age
 can
 extend
 to
 45
 or

beyond
 ‐
 and
 who,
 in
 our
 opinion,
 act
 in
 a

perfectly
 logical
 fashion
 in
 view
 of
 mama's
 food,

other
 logisDcal
 advantages
 and
 the
 astronomical

costs
of
rental
housing
‐
have
been
bapDzed
with

the
endearing,
although
vaguely
derogatory,
term

of
 "bamboccioni".
 The
 bamboccione
 depicted
 in

the
 cartoon
 is
 the
 mythical
 Alberto
 Sordi,
 who

acquired
 immortal
 fame
 with
 his
 film
 "Un

Americano
 a
 Roma".Alberto‐bamboccione,

devouring
 a
 bowl
 of
 pasta
 late
 at
 night
 upon
 his

return
 from
 one
 of
 
 his
 usual
 and
 meaningless

nightly
 prowls,
 announces
 to
 his
 mother
 that
 a

minister,
 Brunena
 ("minimistro"
 being
 short
 for

"mini‐ministro
 given
 Brunena's
 diminuDve
 size),

has
 proposed
 a
 monthly
 sDpend
 of
 500
 euros
 for

all
 bamboccionis
 leaving
 their
 nest.
 The
 mother,

pracDcal
as
always,
informs
him
that
the
resources

for
 the
 sDpend
 are
 to
 come
 from
 the
 naDonal

pension
fund
‐
thus
ensuring
that
there
will
be
no

more

spaghe`
free
loading
for
him.
 34

Il
papa
straniero


17
April
2010


Gianfranco
 Fini,
 former
 chief
 of


Italy's
 posxascist
 party
 and

currently
 majority
 leader
 of
 the

Chamber
of
DepuDes,
has
shown

surprisingly
 liberal
 views
 of
 late,

together
 with
 a
 growingly


m a n i f e s t
 d i s t a s t e
 f o r

Burlesqueoni
 and
 his
 current

best
 frend
 Bossolini,
 supremo
 of

the
triumphant
Northern
League

xenophobic
 party.
 
 A
 few

desperate
 supporters
 of
 the

center‐leL
look
at
Fini
as
the
only

salvaDon
 for
 what's
 leL
 of
 the

leL
 in
 the
 guise
 of
 the
 "foreign

pope"
 that
 could
 bring
 new

authority
 and
 leadership.
 
 But

the
 
wise
boy
in
the
photograph

objects:
 No
 way.
 They'll
 never

consider
him:
Fini
is
too
much
of

a
leList.


35

 Health
Care


(21
April
2010)

Capire
cosa
sia
successo
veramente

con
il
passaggio
negli
StaD
UniD
del
P.L.

111‐148
(The
PaDent
ProtecDon
and

Affordable
Care
Act)
e'
impresa

Dtanica.
Pare
pero',
da
note

giornalisDche,
che
l'allargamento

dell'
accesso
all'assicurazione
sanitaria

non
scanera'
prima
del
2014.
Per

scaramanzia,
ed
in
piena
coerenza
con

il
suo
inguaribile
sce`cismo,
Poerio

Press
mene
in
bocca
a
queste

innocenD
e
meravigliose
giovani

creature
parole
di
scanzonato
humour

nero.


U n d e r s t a n d i n g
 w h a t
 a c t u a l l y

happened
 with
 the
 passage
 in
 the

United
 States
 of
 
 P.L.
 111‐148
 (The

PaDent
ProtecDon
and
Affordable
Care

Act)
 is
 probably
 a
 Dtanic
 task.
 Press

reports,
 however,
 indicate
 that

broader
access
to
health
insurance
will

not
actually
take
place
before
2014.
In

a
 gesture
 of
 countersupersDDon,
 and

coherently
 with
 its
 inexhausDble

skepDcism,
 Poerio
 press
 put
 in
 the

mouths
 of
 these
 two
 innocent,

wonderful
 young
 creatures
 words
 of

unrestrained
black
humour.


36

Emergency


(21
April
2010)


Il….ahem….governo
afgano
ha

deciso
di
chiudere
l’ospedale
di

Emergency
che
offre
cure

gratuite
alle
vi`me
della

guerra.


Non
c’e’
da
preoccuparsi.
Tu`
I

pazienD
sono
staD
avvisaD
che

possono
sonoscrivere
una

polizza
di
assicurazione
medica

privata.


37


Er
Trota



(28
April
2010)









 


 
 

This
last
poetart
opus
of
Poerio
Press
is
hardly

communicable
to
the
vast
world.
It
is
It
is
the

tale
of
Renzo
Bossi,
egregious
son
of
the

famous
Umberto
Bossi
whose
poliDcal

footsteps
he
decided
to
follow.
The
story
goes

that

daddy
Umberto,
aLer
someone
referred

to
his
son
as
the
"delfino"
("dolphin"
in
english

=
designated
heir
to
a

poliDcal
dynasty),

modestly
commented
that
at
the
most
young

Renzo
could
be
referred
to
as
"una
trota"
(=a

trout).
Renzo's
tale
is
imagined
as
a
self‐
presentaDon
penned
in
Rome
dialect,

to
spite

the
corrupt
and
thieving
naDonal
capital,

symbol
of
corrupDon
and
parasiDsm
and

synecdoche
of
the
horrid
South
as
a
whole.

Renzo
does
not
mince
words:
he
reveals
that

the
only
two
things
he
dislikes
are
gays
and

drugs
(he
actally
said
that),
and
that

not

having
a
clue
on
what
to
do
with
his
life

he

chose
to
follow
his
father's
footsteps
in
the

Lega,
the
xenophobic/secessionist
"movement

for
the
independence
of
Padania".

We
are,
in

fact,
confident
that
both
the
Lega
and
Renzo

will
delight
us
for
decades
to
come.We
thank

two
affecDonate
readers,
Elisabena
S.
ed

Eugenio
M.,
for
their
superlaDve
ediDng
of
the

Roman
text
and
their
accompanying
comment

in
rhyme,
which
we
added
as
a
proper

appendix
to
this
Poerio
Press
issue:



 Anvedi
mò!
Puro
li
cispadani


 s'empareno
a
parlà
come
i
romani!


 Si
propio
er
pelo
voi
trovà
nell'ovo


 un
eroreno
a
riga
sei
te
scovo:


 si
propio
voi
parlà
trasteverino


 devi
da
di’
“chiamaveno
er
derfino”.


38

39

Kosovo’s
entry
in
the
EU


(29
April
2010)


While
the
financial
world
happily
bets

on
the
demise
of
the
Euro,
and
with

the
European
Union
giving
one
more

example
of
disarray
and
indeciveness,

the
Italian
foreign
minister
is
strongly

engaged
in
the
irresisDble
march
which

will
lead
to
Kosovo's
entry
in
the
EU.

Which
event,
no
doubt,
will
signal
a

rebirth
of
the
troubled
European

edifice.


40

Burlesqueoni
Saves
Louisiana

from
Black
Wave


(30
April
2010)


As
many
of
our
readers
sadly
know,
the

Burlesqueoni
 navy
 has
 disDnguished

itself
in
waging
victorious
wars
against


African
 migrants'
 fleets
 of
 
 inflatable


boats
 threatening
 to
 land
 on
 our

shores.
 Concerned
 about
 the
 black

wave
 nearing
 the
 Louisiana
 coast,
 our

leader
has
promptly
offered
Obama
to

d r a L
 f o r
 h i m
 t h e
 n e c e s s a r y

empowering
legislaDon.


41

Il
papa
straniero
 il papa straniero
17
April
2010

ma se fini abbandona e figurati
berlusconi, potrebbe se il pd
diventare proprio lui imbarca
il papa straniero uno di
Gianfranco
 Fini,
 former
 chief
 of
 del pd!!!!! sinistra
I ta l y ' s
 p o s x a s c i st
 p a r t y
 a n d
 come fini.

currently
 majority
 leader
 of
 the


Chamber
 of
 DepuDes,
 has
 shown

surprisingly
 liberal
 views
 of
 late,

together
with
a
growingly
 
manifest

distaste
 for
 Burlesqueoni
 and
 his

current
 best
 frend
 Bossolini,

s u p r e m o
 o f
 t h e
 t r i u m p h a n t

Northern
 League
 xenophobic
 party.


A
 few
 desperate
 supporters
 of
 the

center‐leL
 look
 at
 Fini
 as
 the
 only

salvaDon
for
what's
leL
of
the
leL
in

the
guise
of
the
"foreign
pope"
that

could
 bring
 new
 authority
 and

leadership.

But
the

wise
boy
in
the

photograph
objects:
No
way.
They'll

never
consider
him:
Fini
is
too
much

of
a
leList.


poerio press 2010

42

Burlesqueoni
Saves

Louisiana
form
Black
Wave

(30
April
2010)


As
 many
 of
 our
 readers
 sadly


know,
the
Burlesqueoni
navy
has

disDnguished
 itself
 in
 waging

victorious
 wars
 against
 
 African

migrants'
 fleets
 of
 
 inflatable


boats
threatening
to
land
on
our

shores.
 Concerned
 about
 the

black
wave
nearing
the
Louisiana

coast,
 our
 leader
 has
 promptly

offered
 Obama
 to
 draL
 for
 him

the
 necessary
 empowering

legislaDon.


43

Poerio
Press
Counterfeits

Altan
(But
for
the
Benefit

of
Mankind)


(6
May
2010)

Poerio
Press
shares
the
view
that
Francesco

Tullio
Altan
is
the
best
graphic
humorist
this

side
of
the
Alps,
and
possibly
north
of
them

as
well.
So
we
took
the
liberty
of
borrowing

his
 style
 to
 create
 a
 cartoon
 about
 Mr.

Scajola,
 the
 former
 minister
 for
 economic

development
 who
 was
 forced
 to
 resign

aLer
 magistrates
 found
 out
 that
 a

developer
 already
 incriminated
 and

detained
 for
 serious
 bribing
 scandals
 had

pitched
 in
 the
 respectable
 sum
 of
 900,000

Euros
 to
 help
 him
 buy
 his
 dream
 Rome

apartment
 in
 front
 of
 the
 Colosseo.
 The

minister
 denied
 this
 accusaDon
 (supported

by
several
witnesses),
but
in
the
end
he
had

to
resign.
His
final
line
will
be
remembered

forever:
 "A
 minister
 cannot
 retain
 his

posiDon
 aLer
 finding
 out
 that
 somebody

bought
 his
 house
 for
 him."The
 dialogue

between
 the
 two
 forged
 characters
 in
 the

counterfeit
 Altan
 cartoon
 below
 goes
 as

follows:
"The
Hon.
Minister
was
deeply
hurt

by
 the
 fact
 that
 somebody
 bought
 his

house
for
him".
"Good
for
him
he
can
be".

The
 line
 suggests
 that
 many
 Altan

characters,
 usually
 depicDng
 not‐so‐
wealthy
common
workers,
would
love
to
be

the
 vicDms
 of
 such
 kind
 of
 treacherous

behavour.



Poerio
Press,
2010
 44

On
Spanish
Heroism

(13
May
2010)


W e
 a r e
 i n
 S p a i n ,

unmistakeably.
 The
 guitarist

complains
 about
 the
 prime

minister,
 who
 just
 reduced

the
 salaries
 of
 all
 the

country's
 public
 employees

by
 5
 per
 cent,
 including
 his

father's,
 who
 works
 as
 a

school
 janitor.
 The
 flamenco

dancer
 tries
 to
 console
 him:

but
 surely,
 at
 the
 very
 least


they
 will
 honour
 your
 father

w i t h
 t h e
 s p e c i a l

InternaDonal
Monetary
Fund

Hero
medal.


45

The
Value
of
Se=ng
an

Example

(14
May
2010)


1 4
 M ay
 2 0 1 0 :
 To d ay ' s

banner
 headline
 on
 "La

R e p u b b l i c a "
 r e p o r t s
 a

Burlesqueoni
 quote:
 "Those

who
 enriched
 themselves

[illegally]
 must
 resign".
 The

reader
on
the
right
observes

t h a t
 t h i s
 w o u l d
 b e
 a

wonderful
 opportunity
 to

lead
by
example.


46

The
Urgency
of
the

Situa?on


(16
May
2010)


The
 two
 Poerio
 Press
 poliDco


w h i z
 k i d s
 d e b a t e
 r e c e n t

developments
 in
 Italy.
 The
 girl

n o t e s
 t h a t
 [ d u e
 t o
 t h e

mulDplicaDon
 of
 scandals]
 the

spoliaDon
 of
 public
 coffers
 may

soon
 come
 to
 an
 end,
 and
 that

the
 astute
 leader
 of
 the
 small

center
 party
 currently
 at
 the

opposiDon(?),
 Casini,
 asked
 to

join
 Berlusconi
 in
 a
 "technical

government".
 The
 boy
 observes

that
 Casini
 rightly
 seized
 the

sense
of
urgency
of
the
situaDon.


47

On
the
Global
Child

Allowance
Crunch


(26
May
2010)


It
is
obvious
by
now
that
the
"financial

crisis"
 has
 led
 to
 a
 joyous
 globalfest

whose
 main
 
 amusement
 is
 cu`ng

salaries.
 But
 we
 never
 suspected
 that

innocent
 and
 unsuspecDng
 children

could
become
the
direct
vicDms
of
this

new
 form
 of
 entertainment,
 by

suffering
 setbacks
 to
 their
 "paghena"

prospects
 ("paghena"
 being
 an

endearing
 Italian
 definiDon
 for

"allowance").
The
girl
asks
her
brother:

"Did
 you
 ask
 dad
 about
 raising
 our

paghena?"
And
he
replies:
"That
smart

aleck.
Want
to
know
what
he
replied?

He
 fears
 a
 negaDve
 reacDon
 from
 the

markets".


48

On
the
Irra?onal
Lack

of
Exuberance
of
the

Poor


(26
May
2010)


The
 recently
 approved
 Italian


"manovra"
 hits
 precarious

w o r k e r s ,
 w o u l d ‐ b e

pensioners,
and
generally
low‐
i n c o m e
 p u b l i c ‐ s e c t o r

employees
 
 as
 a
 sacrifice
 to

the
 Gods
 of
 the
 Markets,
 in

the
hope
of
earning
their
(the

Gods')
 benevolence.
 
 An

imaginary
 Angela
 Merkel

remarks:
 "The
 Italians
 are

raking
 money
 only
 from
 the

poor!"
 and
 her
 Groszesquian

Aide‐de‐camp
 replies:
 "That

will
 teach
 them
 to
 insist
 on

being
 poor.
 They
 should
 have

invested
 in
 Italian
 treasury

notes
instead."


49

Poerio
Press
on
 rimane pero'
Educa?on
Reform
 quello del
(29
May
2010)

abolito
ROVESCIO E
l'isegnamento
DELLA
del diritto
The
 indefaDgable
 Minister
 of
 SMORZATA.
EducaDon
 eliminated
 law
 from
 the
 negli istituti
curriculum
 of
 public
 training
 per geometri.
insDtutes
 for
 chartered
 surveyors.

This
is
not
surprising,
given
the
fact

t h a t
 s u r v e y o r s
 a r e
 e q u a l l y

indefaDgable
 in
 illegal
 housing

construcDon
 and
 that
 the
 same

Minister's
 government
 has
 been

raking
 in
 plenty
 of
 money
 by

regularizing
 
 post‐facto
 this
 very

popular
 kind
 of
 real
 estate.
 Our

very
 well‐informed
 tennis
 players

discuss
the
news
(the
word
"law"
is

also
 referred
 to
 in
 Italian
 as

"dirino",
 which
 also
 means

”forehand").
 The
 one
 to
 the
 right

observes
 that
 at
 least
 they
 will

keep
 teaching
 "rovescio"
 and

"servizio"
(backhand
and
serve).

poerio press 2010

50

Poerio
Press
on
Economic

Growth


(29
May
2010)


While
the
Gods
of
the
Market
may

be
 appeased
 by
 the
 
 savage
 cuts

to
 public
 spending
 being
 enacted

by
 the
 Burlesqueoni
 government,

many
 lament
 that
 the
 same

government
 is
 comtemplaDng
 no

measures
 whatsoever
 to
 support

economic
 growth.
 The
 reader
 to

the
 right,
 in
 an
 anempt
 
 to
 be

sarcasDc,
 remarks
 that
 
 this
 will

teach
 [the
 opposiDon
 and
 the

press}
 not
 to
 get
 rid
 of
 the

M i n i s t e r
 f o r
 E c o n o m i c

Development
 .For
 more
 info
 on

the
case,
see
6
May,
"Poerio
Press

Counterfeits
 Altan
 (But
 for
 the

Benefit
of
Mankind)".


51

Ge=ng
Rich
with
the

Olympic
Games


(
31
May
2010)


Mercifully,
 Italy
 saved
 a


bunch
 of
 billions
 by
 losing

her
 bid
 for
 the
 2016

E u r o p e a n
 s o c c e r

championships.
 And
 if
 we

lose
 our
 Olympic
 bid
 to

boot,
 we
 may
 get
 to
 be

nearly
rich.


52

What
if
I
Take
my

Life
and
Lose
my
Job


(2
June
2010)


This
 may
 very
 well
 be
 the
 most


cynical
and
preposterous
Poerio

Press
 to
 date.
 However,
 the

actual
 occurrence
 provides

ample
 jusDficaDon
 for
 it.
 The

owners
 of
 the
 Foxconn
 factory

in
 Shenzen,
 China,
 got
 worried

about
 workers
 taking
 their
 own

lives
 on
 the
 factory
 premises.

C o n s e q u e n t l y,
 t h e y
 n o w

demand
that
new
recruits
sign
a

wrinen
 clause
 pledging
 not
 to

commit
 suicide.
 The
 worker
 on

the
 leL
 complains
 about
 having

to
sign
the
I‐shall‐not‐kill‐myself

pledge
 
if
he
wants
to
get
a
job

there.
 But
 his
 friend
 comes
 up

with
 a
 brilliant
 idea.
 "Don't

worry",
 he
 says.
 "When
 you

decide
 to
 end
 it
 all,
 we'll
 make

sure
 it
 looks
 like
 a
 workplace

accident".

53

Salu?
dall’Italia


(6
June
2010)


"Cartolina"
is
"postcard"
in
Italian,
and

"saluto"
 means
 "greeDng".
 The
 term

assumes
 a
 special
 meaning
 when
 the

"saluto"
 becomes
 a
 "saluto
 fascista”.

This
 parDcular
 cartolina
 is
 being

wrinen
by
a
concerned
Italian
father
to

his
 son,
 who
 took
 the
 inexplicable

decision
 to
 emigrate
 to
 Holland,
 of
 all

places.
 The
 father
 informs
 him
 about

the
 Leader's
 last
 sDrring
 speech,

announcing
to
all
Italians
that
they
will

all
be
free
and
rich
as
soon
as
they
get

rid
 of
 their
 bolschevik
 magistrates.

ALer
 this
 comforDng
 news,
 the
 father

makes
no
mystery
of
his
worries
about

t h e
 s o n ' s
 c o n d i D o n s
 i n
 t h e

Netherlands.
 Does
 he
 have
 enough
 to

eat?
Do
they
have
television
there?


54

Varia?ons
on
the


Manovra
(I)


(9
June
2010)


"Manovra"
 literally
 means


"manouver",
 i.e.
 changing
 a

vehicle's
 direcDon
 while
 at
 the

wheel.
 But
 in
 Italy's
 world
 of


exquisite
 poliDcal
 euphemisms,

"manovra"
 is
 used
 to
 describe
 a

horrendous
raid

to
fill
in
a
giant

hole
in
public
coffers.
Of
course,

when
he
talks
about
the
current

manovra,
 Burlesqueoni
 swears

that
 it
 does
 not
 touch
 at
 all

Italians'
 pockets.
 This
 
 is
 indeed

the
 case,
 if
 we
 talk
 about
 high

i n c o m e s .
 S o ,
 t h e
 s e c o n d

newspaper
 reader
 offers
 the

suggesDon
 that
 
 while
 he
 has

both
 hands
 
 at
 the
 wheel,
 it

might
not
be
a
bad
idea
to
do
a

linle
 search
 into
 HIS
 pockets.

Just
in
case.


55

Varia?ons
on
the

Manovra
(II)

(9
June
2010)


( I " M a n o v ra "
 l i t e ra l l y

means
 "manouver",
 i.e.

c h a n g i n g
 a
 v e h i c l e ' s

direcDon
 while
 at
 the

wheel.
 But
 in
 Italy's
 world

of
 
 exquisite
 poliDcal

euphemisms,
"manovra"
is

u s e d
 t o
 d e s c r i b e
 a

horrendous
raid

to
fill
in
a

giant
hole
in
public
coffers.

This
 one
 is
 based
 on

freezing
 public
 salaries
 for

few
 years.
 Of
 course,

Burlesqueoni
 swears
 that

the
 current
 manovra
 does

not
 take
 ANY
 money
 from

Italians'
 pockets.
 The

comment:
 "Sure
 it
 does

not
 touch
 our
 pockets.
 It

takes
 our
 money
 before
 it

gets
there".


56

China’s
New
Policy


on
Delocaliza?on


(11
June
2010)


In
 China's
 Pearl
 River
 Delta


workers'
salaries
are
being
more

than
doubled:
from
the
monthly

equivalent
 of
 100
 dollars
 plus


to
 300
 dollars
 a
 month.
 This

bizarre
(and
suicidal,
as
it
were)

generosity
 
 is
 obviously
 bound

to
put
the
Chinese
economy
on

its
 
 knees.
 The
 concerned

Western
industrialist
on
the
leL

asks
 his
 Chinese
 counterpart

facing
 him
 what
 they
 are
 going

to
do.
The
answer
is
quick:
we'll

move
our
factories
to
Italy.

No
doubt,
the
Chinese

industrialist
is
aware
of
the
fact

that
some
industrial
districts
in

Italy
are
full
of
clandesDne

Chinese
factories
operaDng
with

imported
slave
labour.


57

The
Miracle
of
the
Divine

Intercep?on


(11
June
2010)


Poerio
 Press
 is
 having
 a
 terrible


Dme
keeping
track
of
Burlesqueoni.

Just
 aLer
 his
 personal
 Senate

adopted
 a
 law
 severely
 curtailing

the
scope,
duraDon
and
publicity
of

intercepDons
 legally
 enforced
 by

inquiring
 magistrates,
 the
 Elevated

One
turned
up
at
a
joint
conference


with
 the
 Prime
 Minister
 of
 Spain.

ALer
 congratulaDng
 him
 for
 being

in
 a
 State
 of
 Grace
 by
 virtue
 of
 his

encounter
 with
 the
 Pope
 and

declaring
his
envy
for
Spain's
public

debt,
which
happens
to
be
half
that

of
Italy's,
he
turned
around
and
leL.

W h y ?
 P o e r i o
 P r e s s ,
 t a k i n g

advantage
of
the
fact
that
the
new

l a w
 i s
 n o t
 y e t
 i n t o
 e ffe c t ,

intercepted
 a
 brilliant
 explanaDon.

The
 second
 priest
 from
 the
 leL

murmurs
 in
 response
 to
 the

quesDon
 whispered
 from
 his
 right:

"I
 guess
 he
 was
 afraid
 that

Zapatero,
 exploiDng
 his
 temporary

State
 of
 Grace,
 managed
 to

intercept
 the
 addiDonal
 idiocies
 he

was
about
to
say".

58

Fiat
 is
 offering
 to
 reconvert
 its
 Delocalizing
Parliament
(19
June
2010)

ailing
 factory
 in
 Pomigliano

d'Arco,
 Italy,
 by
 transferring

there
an
automobile

producDon

line
 currently
 located
 in
 Poland.

But
 as
 Adam
 Smith
 would
 have

warned
 us,
 this
 has
 nothing
 to

do
 with
 benevolence.
 The

reward
Fiat
expects
out
of
this
is

the
 enforcement
 of
 stringent

new
 rules
 in
 the
 workplace,
 a

revoluDon
 in
 
 worker‐business

relaDons,
and
a
final
blow
to
the

union
 movement,
 with
 the

militant
 FIOM
 the
 only
 one
 leL

trying
to
discuss
the
deal.
Take
it

or
 Leave
 it,
 the
 automaker

warns.
 NegoDaDng
 by
 Fiat,
 one

would
 add.Poerio
 Press,
 via
 this

original
 new
 pastel
 vignene

abandoning,
 this
 Dme,
 Altan's

characters
but
not
his
situaDonal

humour,
imagines
the
expansion

of
 the
 Fiat
 strategy
 to
 other

situaDons.
 We
 are
 inside
 the

idyllic
 renovated
 Pomigliano

producDon
 line,
 with
 workers

connected
 to
 the
 new
 liquid

nourishment
 intake/diureDc

evacuaDon
 system.
 The
 worker

to
 the
 leL
 says:
 "Is
 it
 true
 they

a r e
 a b o u t
 t o
 d e l o c a l i z e

Parliament
in
Poland?".
Yes,
says

his
 colleague.
 "It's
 a
 decision
 by

Brunena
[the
Minister
for
Public

AdministraDon
 and
 InnovaDon].

And
he
will
change
his
mind
only

if
 parlamentarians
 adopt
 the

Pomigliano
regime:
no
toilet
and

lunch
breaks".


59

Doing
Away
With

Goalkeepers



(18
June
2010)


American
readers
will
have
to
accept
that

the
 world
 soccer
 championships
 are

simply
known
as
"The
World
Cup".
It's

an

innocent
 retaliaDon
 against
 the
 slightly

fl i p p a n t
 u s a g e
 o f
 " W o r l d

Series".CompeDDon
 is
 fierce
 at
 the
 world

cup
 and
 the
 pressure
 intense,
 and
 no

more
so
than
for
Italian
soccer
fans,
who,

aLer
 all,
 are
 cheering
 for
 the
 current

world
 champions.The
 Italian
 team
 is
 not

much
to
write
home
about,
but
we
have
a

secret
 weapon.
 Yes,
 you
 guessed:
 it's
 the

Everpresent,
 Burlesqueoni.
 The
 first
 fan

complains
that
the
team
can't
wake
up
to

the
noDon
that
you
have
to
score
in
order

to
 win
 games.
 But
 his
 colleague
 replies:

not
 to
 worry.
 I
 know
 for
 sure
 that
 the

president
 of
 the
 soccer
 federaDon
 asked

Berlusconi
 to
 ask
 Qaddafi
 to
 ask
 our

future
 opponents,
 as
 an
 excepDonal

m e a s u r e ,
 t o
 p l a y
 w i t h o u t
 a

goalkeeper.The
 salvific
 reference
 to

Qaddafi
 refers
 to
 the
 fact
 that
 whenever

he
is
in
serious
trouble,
our
Leader
flies
to

Tripoli
 to
 seek
 support
 from
 his
 much

admired
buddy.

 60

 Il
Tri`co
del
Generale
(
24
June
2010)

Poerio
Press
managed
to
intercept
some
of
the
inner
thoughts
floaDng
around
during
the
wear‐and‐tear
interview
which
just
led

to
the
booDng
of
the
tough‐booted,
interview‐happy
commander.
NoDce
how,
in
the
third
intercepDon,
the
ever‐so‐shrewd

commander
managed
to
intercept
the
thoughts
of
the
enemy
‐oops,
of
the
commander‐in‐chief.
The
second
thought
intercepDon

is
a
handy
introducDon
to
a
soon‐to‐come
vignene
‐
an
arDst's
reconstrucDon
of
what
REALLY
precipitated
the
tough‐booted

general's
booDng.


61

The
Gucci
General


(24
June
2010)


One
 of
 the
 interesDng
 oddiDes
 of
 General


McChrystal's
 personality
 is
 his
 contempt
 for

decadent
 mores,
 which
 he
 forcefully

condenses
 ‐at
 least
 judging
 form
 his

interview
 to
 Rolling
 Stone
 ‐
 in
 the
 Gucci

imagery.
 On
 the
 assumpDon
 that
 people

tend
 to
 exorcise
 
 their
 own
 hidden

obsessions
 by
 expressing
 hatred
 for

them(
closet
gays
 
on
gays,
for
example),
PP

submits
 that
 the
 dismissed
 general
 loved

nothing
more
than
secretly
wearing
his
own

coveted
Gucci
shoes.
Why
on
earth
he
ended

up
with
them
on
at
the
fateful
White
House

faithfully
 reconstructed
 by
 one
 of
 PP's
 best

arDsts,
we
shall
never
know.
Was
he
mocking

the
 wimpish
 lifestyles
 of
 Washington

civilians?
Or
expressing
some
kind
of
tragical

coming
out
(see
above)?
Or
simply,
he
was
in

such
a
state
of
confusion
that
he
rushed
out

of
 his
 hotel
 forge`ng
 to
 change
 into
 his

trademark
 fighDng
 boots?At
 any
 rate,
 PP

welcomes
 the
 publicity
 received
 by
 Gucci,

and
 through
 it,
 to
 Italy's
 flagging
 luxury

goods
exports.
ALer
all,
more
Italian
exports

mean
higher
GDP,
higher
GDP
means
higher

naDonal
budget
revenue,
and
higher
naDonal

budget
 revenue
 means
 more
 money
 to

support
our
own
troops'
vital
contribuDon
to

the
 fight
 for
 freedom
 and
 democracy
 in

Afghanistan.(Don't
 fail
 to
 scroll
 down
 and

take
a
peep
at
the
 
Gucci
model
the
general

elected
for
his
White
House
interview).


62

Bertolaso
Steps
in


(25
June
20010)


The
World
Cup
is
truly
a
great
event:

for
 example,
 puny
 Slovakia
 can

happily
boot
out
the
reigning
world

champions.The
picture
portrays
two

perplexed
 Italian
 footballers
 aLer

the
 World
 Cup
 débâcle.
 The
 first

one
 says:
 "And
 now
 what?"But
 his

companion
 is
 quick
 to
 console
 him:

"Not
 to
 worry.
 Now
 that
 we
 are

clearly
 an
 emergency
 in
 a
 great

event,
 the
 Football
 FederaDon
 will

be
 absorbed
 by
 Bertolaso
 who
 will

take
 care
 of
 everything".
 AnenDve

observers
of
things
Italian
are
aware

that
 in
 cohort
 with
 the
 everpresent

Burlesqueoni,
 the
 Civil
 ProtecDon

Agency
 and
 his
 boss,
 Guido

Bertolaso,
 have
 managed
 to
 extend

their
 pillaging
 of
 public
 coffers
 
 by

expanding
 the
 agency's
 tradiDonal

p o s t‐ e m e rg e n c y
 m a n d a t e
 t o

anything
 dubbed
 as
 "a
 major

event"
 (papal
 visits
 to
 small
 Italian

towns
 are
 also
 included
 in
 this

category).
 How
 can
 anyone
 dispute

that
 the
 disgraced
 naDonal
 football

team
 is
 now
 an
 ideal
 target
 for

Bertolaso?



63

La
Fannulloneria

(26
June
2010)



 We
 are
 in
 
 an
 enormous,


spectral,
 empty
 ministry,
 in

t h e
 v e r y
 h e a r t
 o f
 t h e

Fannulloneria
 directorate

("fannullone"
 (loafer)
 is
 the

te r m
 M r.
 B r u n e n a ,
 t h e

M i n i s t e r
 f o r
 P u b l i c

A d m i n i s t r a D o n
 a n d

InnovaDon,
 chose
 to
 refer
 to

p u b l i c
 e m p l o ye e s ) .
 T h e

fa n n u l l o n i s '
 ve n d e n a
 i s

gloriously
 displayed
 on
 the

Fannulloneria
 directorate's

vesDbular
 wall:
 a
 giant
 blow

up
 of
 the
 Minister
 himself

caught
 napping
 at
 an
 official

funcDon.
 Under
 it,
 two

ministry
anendants
hold
their

favourite
 newspaper
 
 and

discuss
 the
 recent
 fiasco
 of

the
 naDonal
 calcio
 squad
 at

the
 World
 Cup.
 The
 first
 one

says:
 "Lippi
 (the
 manager)

said
 he
 will
 take
 all
 the

blame".
 And
 the
 other:
 "Ever

the
megalomaniac".


64

The
G‐20


(29
June
2010)


Poerio
Press's
delighxul

wunderkinden
 ponder

on
 the
 recently
 (and

mercifully
 concluded)

G‐20.
 The
 linle
 girl

notes
 that
 the
 G‐20

boys
 ignored
 peace,

e m p l o y m e n t ,
 a n d

environmental
 issues.

T h e
 b oy,
 eve r
 t h e

darker
 of
 the
 lot,
 sadly

remarks
that
they
were

f a r
 t o o
 b u s y
 N O T

dealing
 with
 banks
 and

finance.


65

The
Prevalence
of
the

South


(3
July
2010)


Giulio
 TremonD,
 the
 Minister
 of


Finance
 known
 to
 play
 tongue‐in‐
cheek
 with
 the
 secessionist
 and

South‐haDng
 Lega
 Nord,
 rebuked

local‐government
 protests
 about

budget
 cuts
 by
 saying
 that
 the

Southern
 regions
 have
 only

m a n a g e d
 t o
 s p e n d
 a
 D n y

percentage
of
the
European
funds

assigned
 to
 them.
 Regional

governments
 south
 of
 Rome

retorted
 by
 blaming
 inefficiencies

at
 the
 central
 government
 level.

Giulio's
 younger
 sister
 reports

this.
But
Giulio
is
quick
as
ever:
Of

course.
 Even
 the
 government
 is

full
 of
 southerners.This
 cartoon
 is

not
poliDcally
correct.


66

Defense
Budgets


(7
July
2010)

Massimo
 D'Alema,
 the
 former
 italian

communist
party
wunderkind,
former
heir
of

the
 same,
 former
 chieLain
 of
 several

incarnaDons
 of
 the
 post‐communist
 party,

former
 prime
 minister,
 former
 richelieu
 of

the
 present
 DemocraDc
 Party
 and
 currently

future
 nobodyknows,
 has
 long
 been
 a

favourite
 target
 of
 Poerio
 Press.
 Perhaps

because,
 in
 PP's
 view,
 he
 tends
 to
 be
 too

clever
 by
 half.In
 his
 metamorphosis
 from

tenured
 leader
 of
 the
 comfortable
 leL
 to

iconoclasDc
 signbearer
 of
 postmodern

poliDcal
 thinking,
 D'Alema
 has
 surpassed

himself.
Yesterday,
with
the
country
trying
to

absorb
 a
 savage
 slashing
 of
 salaries,

pensions,
 jobs,
 educaDon
 and
 research

budgets
 and
 social
 spending,
 D'Alema
 came

out
 saying
 that
 "the
 country
 is
 not
 spending

enough
on
defense".The
two
street
ciDzens
in

t h e
 v i g n e n e
 b e l o w
 c o m m e n t
 t h i s

extraordinary
declaraDon:
"D'Alema
is
a
wise

person
 ‐
 also
 because
 he
 studied
 for
 free


when
 the
 state
 was
 spending
 enough
 on

educaDon,
too".
 67

I
Poteri
For?


(12
July
2010)


Another
 formidable
 and
 inquisiDve


couple
 of
 young
 poliDcal
 analysts
 from

Poerio
 Press
 wonder
 about
 a
 recurrent

Italian
 obsession,
 the
 "poteri
 forD"
 (in
 a

way,
the
"powers
that
be")
which
scheme

in
 the
 shadows
 to
 frustrate
 the
 gallant

efforts
of
the
government
of
the
day.
The

worse
 things
 get,
 the
 louder
 the

accusaDons
 become
 against
 these

mysterious
 "poteri
 forD".
 The
 analyst
 to

the
 leL
 recalls
 a
 nice
 dinner
 party
 given

on
 an
 elegant
 roman
 terrace
 with
 the

parDcipaDon
 of
 the
 richest
 man
 in
 Italy,

owner
 of
 four
 naDonal
 TV
 channels
 and

prime
 minister,
 his
 daughter,
 owner
 of

the
 main
 publishing
 house
 and
 best

selling
 magazine
 in
 the
 country,
 the

Secretary
 of
 State
 of
 the
 VaDcan,
 the

Governor
 of
 the
 Bank
 of
 Italy
 and

president
of
the
Financial
Stability
Board,

the
 president
 of
 the
 country's
 main

d i s c o u n t
 b a n k
 a n d
 i n s u r a n c e

conglomerate,
 a
 former
 ChrisDan

Democrat
boss
now
heading
a
party
very

close
 to
 the
 Church,
 and
 the
 anchor
 of

the
 main
 poliDcal
 talk
 show
 of
 the
 first

channel
 of
 the
 State
 TV
 network.The

analyst
to
the
right
observes
that
since
it

appears
 they
 talked
 about
 everything

under
 the
 sun,
 they
 may
 have
 also

wondered
 who
 these
 mysterious
 "poteri

forD"
might
be.

68

Preven?ng
Building

Viola?ons


(20
July
2010)


The
 prevenDon
 of
 crime
 has
 always
 been
 a


keen
 concern
 of
 the
 current
 government.

Wary
 of
 condoning
 
 building
 violaDons,
 the

Burlesqueoni
parliament
is
about
to
launch
a

nice
 linle
 new
 procedure
 called
 SCIA

(Segnalazione
 cerDficata
 di
 inizio
 a`vita'
 ‐

literally,
 cerDfied
 signalling
 of
 building
 start).

Thanks
 to
 it,
 the
 need
 to
 deal
 with

unauthorized
 building
 will
 disappear,
 since

SCIA
will
simply
eliminate
the
requirement
to

obtain
 a
 building
 authorisaDon
 in
 the
 first

place.
Elementary,
Watson

.The
 
 vignene
 below,
 sublimely
 penned
 by

another
Poerio
Press
arDst
and
capDoned
 
as

always
 in
 the
 official
 language
 of
 organised

c r i m e ,
 i s
 n e a r l y
 i n c o m p re h e n s i b l e .

Metaphorically
 stepping
 on
 top
 of
 an
 arDcle

denouncing
 the
 SCIA
 gimmick,
 the
 two

roguesque
 builders
 
 are
 congratulaDng
 each

other.
"Now
we
can
finally
do
what
we
want,

says
 the
 one
 to
 the
 leL".
 And
 his
 zealous

companion:
 "I
 always
 said
 that
 you
 have
 to

signal
 first
 before
 doing
 a
 manouver.
 Hurrah

for
 TremonD!"TremonD
 is
 the
 ineffable

Burlesqueoni
 minister
 of
 finance
 who

conceived
 the
 segnalazione
 gimmick
 and

stuck
it
in
a
fold
of
his
"Manovra"
about
to
be

passed
 by
 Parliament
 ("Manovra"
 is
 a

euphemism
for
massive
fiscal
tsunami).

69

Caligula
Caesar


(30
July
2010)

The
Roman
emperor
Caligula,
not
a
great

fan
of
representaDve
insDtuDons,
 
is
well

known
 for
 having
 made
 his
 horse
 a

Senator.
 Approximately
 one
 thousand

years
 later,
 we
 may
 have
 a
 reverse

situaDon.
 Burlesqueoni,
 affecDonally

referred
to
by
his
henchmen
as
"Cesare",

and
 garbed
 accordingly
 in
 this
 Poerio

Press
 rendering,
 consults
 with
 his
 main

consigliori,
 the
 celebrated
 lawyer

Ghedinus.
 "Ghedinus"
 ‐
 he
 asks,
 "Can
 a

four‐legged
 animal
 be
 condemned
 for

collusion
 with
 the
 mafia
 ?"
 "Of
 course

not",
 Ghedinus
 promptly
 answers."Fine

then",
 concludes
 Caligula‐Caesar‐
Burlesqueoni:
 "I
 shall
 make
 Senator

Dell'Utri
 a
 horse”.
 Dell'Utri
 is
 one
 of
 B.'s

closest
confidants,
twice
condemned
 
for

mafia
and
waiDng
for
the
final
verdict
on

these
charges.


The
 Poerio
 Press
 arDst
 added
 two
 details

worthy
of
noDce.
The
scroll
in
Ghedinus's

hands
reads
"Mea
Lex,
Sed
Lex";
and
B.'s

chaussures
 are
 forged
 in
 the
 fashion
 of

the
 riding
 boots
 that
 earned
 Caligula
 his
 70

name.

Deficit
AND
debt


(16
September
2010)


The
 reader
 on
 the
 leL


expresses
 her
 puzzlement

at
 how
 the
 persistent

global
 crisis
 is
 being

a n e n d e d
 t o
 b y
 i t s

appointed
 medics
 ‐
 some

pushing
 for
 rigour
 (and

related
 stagnaDon),
 others

for
 deficit
 spending
 (and

related
 debt
 growth).
 The

second
 reader
 comments

that
 our
 finance
 minister

Giulio
 TremonD,
 anxious

not
 to
 err,
 has
 decided
 to

do
 both.
 (Italian
 public

debt
 is
 skyrockeDng
 while

social
 spending
 is
 being

slashed
 savagely
 right
 and

leL).


71

Sarkozy,
Berlusconi,
Hitler

berlusconi ha
entusiasticamente difeso
sarkozy e la sua politica di
(16
September
2010)
 espulsione dei rom.

tutto qui da uno che

vuole far rinascere
hitler molto piu'
One
 of
 Burlesqueoni's
 worst
 jokes
 cattivo di prima?
recently
toured
the
world:
Hitler
is

found
 living
 incognito
 in
 LaDn

america,
 and
 his
 fans
 beg
 him
 to

return.
 Yes,
 he
 finally
 says,
 but
 at

o n e
 c o n d i D o n :
 m u c h
 m o r e

toughness
this
Dme.
In
view
of
this,

the
 Poerio
 Press
 man
 in
 the
 street

o n
 t h e
 r i g h t
 m a n i fe s t s
 h i s

d i s a p p o i n t m e n t
 a b o u t
 t h e

enthusiasDc
support
our
leader
just

expressed
for
Sarkozy
and
his
meek

policy
of
simply
expelling
Roms.


poerio press 2010

72

Cosi’
parlo’
Uolter


(18
September
2010)


The
 other
 dat
 Walter
 (Uolter
 for
 PP


r e a d e r s )
 V e l t r o n i
 p e n n e d
 a

cumbersome
 manifesto
 which,
 alas,

will
split
the
opposiDon's
main
party
in

two
 warring
 facDons,
 but
 in
 the
 long

run
will
inevitably
carry
his
own
facDon

to
victory
‐
with
himself
as
the
victory's

self‐sacrificing
 and
 reluctant
 
 leader.

The
wundergirl
on
the
leL
quotes
one

of
 the
 manifesto's
 key
 passages:
 "We

need
new
labour
market
rules
capable

of
 eliminaDng
 the
 barrier
 between

protected
 and
 unprotected
 workers".

The
 wunderkind
 on
 the
 right
 remarks

that
 this
 is
 exactly
 what
 the
 ruthless

Fiat
 boss,
 Marchionne
 says
 day
 in
 and

day
 out.
 (on
 Fiat,
 see
 the
 19
 June
 PP,

"delocalizing
 Parliament").Minor

notaDon:
 the
 physical
 resemblance

between
 Uolter
 and
 Marchionne
 is

also
remarkable.


73

As
Long
as
It’s
Not
in
The

Family
 fini dice che se
viene fuori che
il cognato e' gran sospiro di
(25
September
2010)
 sollievo di
un poco di
Readers
 who
 are
 lucky
 enough
 not
 to
 buono si berlusconi, che di
reside
 in
 this
 
 republic
 increasingly
 dimette. mangano, dell'utri
resembling
an
exoDc
fruit
plantaDon
may
 e scajola non e'
ignore
 that
 the
 issue
 that
 
 kept
 the

nemmeno lontano
country
hostage
over
the
last
two
months

parente.
is
 the
 accusaDon
 from
 Burlesqueoni's

printed‐media
 ronweilers
 that
 B.'s
 most

insidious
 poliDcal
 foe,
 Gianfranco
 Fini,

may
have
let
his
companion's
brother
rent

(or
 even
 purchase)
 a
 Dny
 apartment
 in

Montecarlo
sold
by
the
party
that
Fini
led

at
the
Dme.
On
the
verge
of
being
buried

by
 this
 unheard‐of
 scandal
 (unheard
 of

because
 the
 scandals
 we
 are
 used
 to
 are

incommensurably
 more
 serious),
 Fini

pledged
 he
 will
 resign
 if
 it
 is
 proved
 that

his
 "brother‐in‐law"
 lied
 to
 him
 in

protesDng
 he
 does
 not
 own
 the

place.Burlesqueoni
 can
 now
 breath
 a

huge
 sigh
 of
 relief.
 If
 dirty
 deals
 with

brothers‐in‐law
 are
 the
 new
 standard
 of

ethical
 conduct,
 he
 has
 nothing
 to
 fear:

the
 scoundrels
 he
 has
 been
 associaDng

with
 are
 not
 even
 remotely
 part
 of
 his
 poerio press 2010

family.

74

Some
of
My
Best
Friends

are
Niggers
 do we
(25
September
2010)
 really nah, only
hate socialist
niggers? ones.
PoliDcal
 incorrectness
 is
 one
 of

t h e
 d e l i c i o u s
 o p D o n s
 o f

underground
 publishing
 houses.

Here,
 a
 conversaDon
 among
 two

tea
 party
 acDvists
 reveals
 that

their
 distaste
 about
 Obama
 has

nothing
to
do
with
race,
but
only

with
 the
 fact
 that
 he
 heads
 an

odious
collecDvist
conspiracy.


poerio press 2010

75

Listen
Who’s
Talking
 senti chi parla
(25
September
2010)

berlusconi
oh bella. ero
dice che non
convinto che
si fida piu' di
l'impresa l'avesse
fini perche'
completata lui
ha
stesso da tempo.
sputtanato
l'italia

In
a
gay
and
well‐appointed
brothel,
a

prosperous
 sex
 worker
 and
 her

disDnguished
 client
 indulge
 in
 small

talk
 as
 they
 make
 their
 way
 to
 the

appointed
 chambers
 that
 will
 host

their
 blissful
 embrace.
 She
 says:

"Berlusconi
 says
 that
 he
 cannot
 trust


Fini
 any
 more
 because
 he
 ruined
 the

c o u n t r y ' s
 r e p u t a D o n "
 ( t h e

untranslatable
 Italian
 equivalent
 is

m o r e
 r e m i n i s c e n t
 o f
 b o rd e l l o

language).
 The
 well‐informed
 client

quips:
 "Strange.
 I
 thought
 B.
 himself

had
already
completed
this
task
a
long

Dme
ago".
 poerio press 2010

76

Fiducia

(30
September
2010)


ALer
 obtaining
 a
 "voto
 di


fi d u c i a "
 i n
 P a r l i a m e n t ,

Burlesqueoni
 will
 have
 to
 rely

on
the
votes
of
his
runaway
ex‐
ally,
 Gianfranco
 Fini.
 For
 all

pracDcal
 purposes,
 from
 now

on
 B.
 will
 be
 on
 a
 drip

administered
daily
by
his
 
ally/
foe.
 But
 Fini,
 perfidiously,

reassures
 his
 new
 paDent:

"don't
 worry,
 cavaliere,
 this
 is

just
an
addiDonal
side
therapy.

Today's
lunch
will
be
the
usual:

toads
 and
 gall"
 ("ingoiare
 un

rospo"
 is
 Italospeak
 for
 being

forced
 to
 accept
 a
 very

unpleasant
turn
of
events).


77

The
Imminent
New
Ring
 6 ottobre 2010: gli industriali
romani domandano a gran voce
Road
in
Rome
 un secondo grande raccordo
(6
October
2010)
 anulare.

e noi ce ne
costruimo un
e adesso ci artro, e su
The
 passenger
 expresses
 his
 worry
 vogliono quello vecchio
about
the
threat
of
turning
the
asphalt
 anche far ce famo la
freeway
circling
the
Eternal
City
into
a
 pagare i formula uno, ce
toll
 road.
 Meanwhile,
 the
 Roman
 viaggi sul famo.
industrialists
 (forgive
 the
 oxymoron)
 raccordo.
are
 clamouring
 for
 a
 new,
 
 bigger,

wider
 one.
 But
 not
 to
 worry.
 The

carefree
 driver
 responds
 to
 his

companion:
we'll
build
a
new
one,
and

we'll
 use
 the
 old
 one
 for
 grand
 prix

r a c e s .
 ( O n e
 o f
 t h e
 p r e s e n t

administraDon's
 follies
 is,
 indeed,
 to

have
a
grand
prix
race
in
Rome).Photo

courtesy
 of
 the
 immortal
 flick
 "Il

Sorpasso",
by
Enore
Scola.


poerio press 2010

78

 novembre 2010: uova marce anche contro la cgil

Ro]en
Eggs

(10
October
2010)


Recently,
 a
 handful
 of
 youths
 hurled
 lo sapevo che siete

prima o poi facciamo il
ronen
eggs
and
 
red
paint
against
the
 avrebbero solito
impazziti?
due righe titolo:
titolone di
entrance
 of
 CISL,
 in
 protest
 against
 lanciato le
uova contro prima- "vile
dopo lo
sport,
ingenua
that
 union's
 accommodaDng
 stand
 la cgil. attacco caratteri
squadrista"? minuscoli
ragazzata
goliardica.
about
 Fiat's
 uncompromising
 posiDon
 .

on
workers'
rights
(see
Poerio
Press,
19

June
 2010)
 .
 The
 reacDon
 of
 the
 main

press
 has
 been
 one
 of
 universal

condemnaDon
of
 
these
repulsive
acts

of
 violence
 verging
 on
 terrorism
 and

smacking
 of
 fascist
 violence.Poerio

Press
tries
to
imagine
what
kind
of
Dtle

would
 be
 used
 if
 the
 same
 vile

aggression
 were
 to
 be
 perpetrated

against
the
leL‐leaning
CGIL.
"Heinous

fascist
 anack,
 like
 the
 last
 Dme?"

proposes
 a
 naive
 young
 stringer.
 "You

must
 be
 out
 of
 your
 mind",
 his
 more
 poerio press 2010

experienced
 colleagues
 answer.
 "Two


lines,
 smallest
 font.
 Title:
 Boys
 Will
 Be

Boys".Photo
 courtesy
 of
 "All
 the

President's
Men".


79

Bombs
and
Terrorism
 ma babbino, sai che la
non eravamo nato ci ha
(12
October
2010)
 noi che dato il
dovevamo permesso di
arginare il mettere le
terrorismo? bombe sugli
A
 quick,
 albeit
 fairly
 strange,
 aerei?
response
 by
 the
 
 government
 to

t h e
 d e at h
 o f
 fo u r
 I ta l i a n

servicemen
 in
 Afghanistan
 has

been
 to
 ask
 Nato
 permission
 to

store
bombs
in
the
(four)
military

p l a n e s
 s t a D o n e d
 i n
 t h a t

wretched
land.
The
response
has

been
immediate
and
affirmaDve.

Dad
proudly
announces
the
news

to
 his
 son
 bent
 on
 surveying

possible
 Al
 Queda
 anacks
 from

the
 sea,
 who
 responds
 with
 a

certai n
 amo u nt
 o f
 can d i d

scepDcism.
"Bombs
on
planes?

‐

he
says‐but
Dad,
weren't
we
the

ones
 who
 were
 supposed
 to

contain
terrorist
acts?"
 poerio press 2010

80

Poerio
Press
on
Afghanistan

(17
October
2010)

with you in
afganistan
untill the hasta la
It
 did
 not
 take
 an
 awful
 lot
 of
 victory victoria,
final. siempre!
persuading
 to
 convince
 the
 Italian

Minister
 of
 Defense
 (the
 taliban‐
looking
 chap
 on
 the
 leL)
 to
 re‐muster

total
 commitment
 to
 the
 Afghan

mission,
 slightly
 shaken
 aLer
 four
 of

his
 countrymen
 were
 blown
 up
 in
 an

ambush.
 Poerio
 Press
 imagines
 a

gallant
 Petraeus,
 moved
 by
 such

devoDon,
 launching
 himself
 into
 the

only
 laDno‐sounding
 phrase
 he

remembers,
 confident
 it
 will
 sit
 well

with
 his
 obliging
 underling.
 The

phrase,
 of
 course,
 is
 by
 Ernesto

Guevara,
 and
 his
 last
 one
 before

leaving
 for
 an
 ill‐fated
 military

expediDon
 in
 a
 distant
 and
 hosDle

land.


poerio press 2010

81

 Same
Tea,
Same
Chair

(18
October
2010)

Only
older
people
indigenous
to
the
Poerio
Press
host
country
will
get
this
one
right
away.
But
younger
Italians
all
know
English,
anyway,
and
may
also
like
this

story.More
 than
 fourscore
 years
 ago,
 a
 popular
 poli?car?st
 not
 very
 sympathe?c
 to
 the
 leg
 drew
 a
 cartoon
 that
 really
 hit
 the
 town.
 It
 portrayed
 Enrico

Berlinguer,
the
adored
leader
of
the
Italian
Communist
Party,
si=ng
in
his
favourite
armchair
and
sipping
tea
under
a
 
portrait
of
Karl
Marx.
The
cartoon
was

meant
to
chas?se
Berlinguer
for
not
a]ending
a
massive
metalworkers'
rally
threatening
a
huge
na?onal
strike,
thus
celebra?ng
the
"bourgeoisiza?on"
of
the

biggest
communist
party
outside
the
Soviet
Union.In
Poerio
Press's
view,
33
years
later
history
repeats
itself.
On
16
October
of
this
year
Pierluigi
Bersani,
the

head
of
the
center‐leg
party
which

incorporates
the
remains
of
what
once
was
the
Italian
communist
party,
also
refused
to
a]end
a
massive
metalworkers'
rally

threatening
a
na?onal
strike.
The
reason
is
the
same
as
33
years
ago:
his
party
is
nego?a?ng
a
coali?on
with
moderate
poli?cal
forces
who
do
not
like
rallies,

militant
and
aggressive
unions,
and
red
flags.
The
only
major
change
is
that
Karl
Marx's
portrait
has
disappeared,
and
that
Bersani's
face
is
completely
blank.One

of
Poerio
Press's
rich
re?nue
of
in‐house
ar?sts
decided
to
capture
the
scene
and
offer
it
to
our
readers,
side
by
side
with
the
original
1977
cartoon.


1977
 2010

82

Bunga
Bunga

(2
November
2010)


ALer
 the
 Wall
 Street
 Journal,
 Le


Monde,
 the
 Guardian,
 the
 London

Times
 all
 came
 out
 with
 the

Burlesqueoni
 &
 Mubarak
 niece

story,
 Poerio
 Press
 is
 forced
 to

abandon
 its
 tradiDonal
 olympic

restraint
and
deal
with
the
case.
The

reader
on
the
leL
manifests
a
sense

of
nausea
about
all
those
B.
scandal

stories.
The
one
on
the
right,
always

more
 cynical,
 suggests
 that
 it
 is
 all

part
 of
 a
 grand
 plan:
 what
 B.
 really

wants
 is
 to
 be
 forced
 to
 leave
 his

present
 posiDon,
 get
 elected

President
 of
 the
 Republic
 by
 a

friendly
 parliament
 
 and
 move
 to

the
 secluded
 Quirinale
 palace
 ‐
 in

whose
 ample
 cellars
 his
 loyal
 all‐
purpose
 doer,
 Bertolaso,
 can

appoint
 a
 wonderful
 fun
 space,

possibly
 with
 extraterritorial

privileges.


83

Going
to
the
Quirinale


(8
November
2010)

It
 is
 no
 wonder,
 given

r e c e n t
 s c a n d a l o u s

revelaDons,
 that
 many
 of

P o e r i o
 P r e s s ' s

wunderkinder
 are
 quite

worried
about
the
prospect

of
 Burlesqueoni
 "going
 to

the
 Quirinale",
 i.e.
 ge`ng

elected
 president
 of
 the

Republic.
 However,
 the


linle
chap
on
the
right
has
a

plan.
 He
 says:
 "
 Let's
 do
 it

this
 way.
 He
 GOES
 to
 the

Quirinale
just
this
once
‐
to

resign.
 And
 that's
 it".
(Graphics:
 Poerio
 Press.

S o L w a r e :
 S ke t c h b o o k

( i m a g e s ) ; C o m i c
 L i f e

(cartoons)).


84

 noi
ho trovato la indichiamo un
Winning
Tac?cs
 maniera per candidato di
fregare la partito, e
destra. poi
(15
November
2010)
 quell'altro
vince alla
grande.
Exactly
 as
 it
 happened

previously
 in
 Puglia
 and
 in

F l o r e n c e ,
 t h e
 I t a l i a n

DemocraDc
 Party's
 official

candidate
 in
 Milan
 lost
 local

primaries
 to
 an
 unendorsed

opponent.
 Apparently,
 the

party's
 undisciplined
 
 rank

and
 file
 tend
 to
 vote
 for

somebody
 other
 than
 the

one
 the
 party
 tells
 them
 to

vote
 for.
 But
 never
 mind,

reasons
 the
 PD
 secretary.
 "I

finally
 found
 a
 way
 to
 beat

the
right;
we
pick
a
guy,
and

then
the
other
one
wins
by
a

landslide".


primarie pd a milano
85

poerio press 2010
Poli?cal
Stability
and

Steadfast
Ministers


ALer
 the
 Pompei
 collapse,
 the



minister
 in
 charge,
 far
 from

considering
 resignaDon
 and

keen
 on
 avoiding
 similar

occurrences
 in
 the
 future,

ordered
 urgent
 works
 of

consolidaDon
 for
 his
 own

ministerial
chair.


86

Selling
Assets
in
Hard
Times

(18
November
2010)


One
 reader
 remarks
 that


Burlesqueoni
 is
 not
 the
 only

one
 with
 problems.
 The
 Fiat

boss,
for
example,
lost
33%
of

its
 share
 of
 the
 domesDc

market
in
this
last
year
alone.

Her
companion
observes:
yes,

but
 at
 least
 the
 Fiat
 boss
 can

sell
 Alfa
 Romeo
 and
 Ferrari.

And
 what
 can
 the
 other
 one

sell
‐
the
Ministro
Bondi?
(See

previous
PP)


87

The
Italian
Tea
Party

(20
November
2010)
 il problema
dell'italia
cattolica che
lavora e' che pende
Americans
who
want
to
know
more
about
 dalle labbra di uno
their
 future
 should
 take
 a
 bener
 look
 at
 che va a puttane,
this
country.
Here,
the
Tea
Party
has
been
 bossi ammonisce non ha mai lavorato
i n
 p o we r
 fo r
 ye a rs .
 I t
 i s
 ca l l e d
 che l'italia non in vita sua, crede
“Movimento
 per
 l’Indipendenza
 della
 tollerera' un nel dio po e nel
Padania”.
 It's
 the
 only
 party
 in
 clear
 governo tecnico. tempo libero fa
ascendancy;
 its
 supporters
 are
 racist
 eleggere i figli
rednecks
and
bluenecks
who
despise
their
 consiglieri
regionali.
own
Washington
(Rome),
hate
the
foreign

workers
they
import
to
work
for
them
like

slaves,
think
that
state
taxaDon
is
robbery

and
 love
 colorful
 shirts
 and
 banners,

hunDng,
 guns,
 God
 and
 family.
 Its
 boss‐
for‐life
is
an
unbelievable
character
called

Umberto
 Bossi
 (see
 balloons
 below),
 and

he
 can’t
 wait
 for
 new
 elecDons.
 The

conversaDon
 between
 our
 Poerio
 Press

newspaper
readers:“Big
Dtle:
Bossi
warns

that
 Italy
 will
 not
 stomach
 a
 transiDon

government”.“The
problem
of
this
honest

and
catholic
country
is
that
it
hangs
from

the
 lips
 of
 a
 character
 who
 patronizes

whores,
never
worked
in
his
life,
believes

in
the
Po
God
and
in
his
free
Dme
gets
his

sons
elected
to
regional
parliaments.
 poerio press 2010

88

 my problem is
that i have
absolutely no
convictions.
i think.

A
White
House
Predicament


Will
the
Obama
we
all
sDll
love
find
the

inner
strength
to
stand
up
to
the
bad

guys?


poerio press 2010

the white house, november 2010

89

The
New
Nightmare
 vedrai che quei brutti mercati
non li sognerai piu'. e adesso
Monsters
 cerca di riaddormentarti, da
(21
November
2010)
 bravo.

Given
the
fact
that
"
the
markets"
have

become
the
masters
of
individuals
and

enDre
countries
alike,
it
is
likely
that

they
will
become
the

nightmare

monsters
of
a
new
generaDon
of


percepDve
and

sensiDve
children.

Here's
one
of
them,
trying
to
get
back

to
sleep
with
the
help
of
a
rather

perplexed
father.Graphic
tools:

Sketchbook
soLware.
Balloons:
Comic

Life
soLware.
At
the
drawing
board:

Poerio
Press.


i nuovi orchi
90

Mariastella
Gelmini

(24
November
2010)


According
 to
 her
 contemporaries,


Mariastella
 Gelmini
 never
 stood
 out

for
 her
 scholarly
 achievements.

However,
 her
 early
 and
 unshakeable

devoDon
to
Burlesqueoni
was
enough

to
 gain
 her,
 in
 the
 end,
 a
 ministerial

posiDon.
 Her
 predecessor,
 the
 oil‐
magnate
 spouse
 LeDzia
 Mora`,

managed
 to
 eliminate
 the
 "public"

from
the
lenerhead
of
the
Ministry
of

P u b l i c
 E d u c a D o n .
 M a r i a s t e l l a

launched
 herself
 in
 the
 mission
 of

finishing
 the
 job,
 by
 eliminaDng

educaDon.Poerio
 Press
 suspects
 this

furor
 may
 have
 drawn
 its
 inspiraDon

f r o m
 M a r i a s t e l l a ' s
 
 d i ffi c u l t

relaDonship
with
her
educators.Here
,

Mariastella
 is
 depicted
 at
 age
 twelve,

informing
her
father
she
received
one

m o r e
 f a i l i n g
 m a r k .
 B u t

daddy,immersed
 in
 the
 task
 of

reading
 his
 "Corriere
 della
 Sera"

upside
 down,
 offers
 a
 propheDc

c o n s o l a D o n .
 " D o n ' t
 w o r r y ,

Mariastella:
 one
 day
 you
 will
 be
 a

M i n i s t e r
 a n d
 y o u ' l l
 g e t
 y o u r

revenge".Another
 Poerio
 Press

arDfact.
SoLware:
none.
Tools:
an
A‐4

sheet,
a
felt
Dp
pen.


91

 Mariastella
Gelmini

(24
November
2010)


According
 to
 her
 contemporaries,


Mariastella
 Gelmini
 never
 stood
 out
 for

her
scholarly
achievements.
However,
her

early
 and
 unshakeable
 devoDon
 to

Burlesqueoni
 was
 enough
 to
 gain
 her,
 in

the
 end,
 a
 ministerial
 posiDon.
 Her

predecessor,
 the
 oil‐magnate
 spouse

LeDzia
Mora`,
managed
to
eliminate
the

"public"
 from
 the
 lenerhead
 of
 the

Ministry
 of
 Public
 EducaDon.
 Mariastella

launched
 herself
 in
 the
 mission
 of

finishing
 the
 job,
 by
 eliminaDng

educaDon.Poerio
Press
suspects
this
furor

may
 have
 drawn
 its
 inspiraDon
 from

Mariastella's
 
 difficult
 relaDonship
 with

her
 educators.Here
 ,
 Mariastella
 is

depicted
 at
 age
 twelve,
 informing
 her

father
 she
 received
 one
 more
 failing

mark.
But
daddy,immersed
in
the
task
of

reading
 his
 "Corriere
 della
 Sera"
 upside

down,
 offers
 a
 propheDc
 consolaDon.

"Don't
 worry,
 Mariastella:
 one
 day
 you

will
 be
 a
 Minister
 and
 you'll
 get
 your

revenge".Another
 Poerio
 Press
 arDfact.

Tools:
 an
 A‐4
 sheet,
 a
 felt
 Dp
 pen.

Colouring
with
Sketchbook.

92