Goodfilles

By Layla and Lily

Written by Layla

Based on Goodfellas
 __________
GOODFILLES

SCENE ONE: CAR BOOT (OPENING)

BLACK SCREEN READS 'THIS FILM IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY' (LIKE

THE ORIGINAL GOODFELLAS TITLE CARDS. CUT TO A CAR DRIVING AT
NIGHT, WE SEE THE INTERIOR; H IS DRIVING, J IN THE PASSENGER
SEAT AND T ASLEEP IN THE BACK.

J is fiddling with the buttons in the car, H slaps her hand

away nonchalant, J then keeps her hands to herself. T is
dozing off in the backseat. Silence. THUMP from the boot.
Everyone is jolted to attention. H pulls the car over. H, J
and T get out of the car, T is holding a baseball bat.

T
Jesus Christ!

H
This is a fuckin' mess.

POV SHOT FROM THE VICTIM'S PERSPECTIVE

H lifts open the boot and steps back. We hear muffled groans.

(Raising the bat)

Can you believe that this dick is

still alive?

(Starts hitting him with the bat repeatedly)

Dickhead. No- good lowlife. Asshole.

T keeps swinging at the body in the boot until the groaning

and wincing stops. T goes to swing again.

H
I think that's enough for now.

(T retreats)

CLOSE UP ON H AS SHE SHUTS THE BOOT, FREEZING ON H'S FACE AS

SHE CLOSES IT. CUT TO BLACK.SUNSHINE OF YOUR LOVE BY CREAM
PLAYS. BLACK SCREEN READS 'FIVE HOURS EARLIER'. SONG ENDS.

SCENE TWO: FUNNY

THE THREE WOMEN ARE SAT AROUND A TABLE PLAYING CARDS. T IS IN

THE MIDDLE OF TELLING A STORY, EVERYONE IS HAVING A GOOD
TIME.
 2.

T
That's when I told her, you leave the
turkey in long enough that it's cooked
but not so long that you burn the
whole fuckin' house down!

Everyone is laughing.

Completely ruined Christmas!

Still laughing. H is laughing harder than J.

H
Really really funny.

T
What do you mean funny?

H
You know... the story... it's a funny
story... she's funny.

T
She as in my mum? Do you think my
mum's funny?

H
(Cautious) Well yeah...

T
You think she's stupid, don't you?
That's what's so funny, isn't it? You
big joker. My stupid fucking mother is
stupid fucking funny!

The women are talking over each other, lines can be

improvised around.

H
Look that's not what I meant. Come on
T-

T
Come on then Joker make me laugh.

T takes the cards out of H's hands. H reaches to take them

back but misses.

H
T come on now.
 3.

J
(Trying to calm the situation) Let's
not do this right now, okay?

T
No, make me laugh.

H
I'm not gonna do that, okay?

T
See if I'm laughing. Does it look like
I'm fucking laughing?

Tension is at its high. T lets Henry speak. J is like the

mediator of the situation.

H
(H is stuttering a bit but trying to
keep cool) Look, it's not your mum or
anything. It's you...you kinda... It's
it's the way you told the story, not
the story itself.

Long pause. Silence in the room. T breaks a smile.

T
(Laughing) I had her. Did you see? I
had her!

Everyone is laughing explosively. H's laughter is almost a

sigh of relief.

THE SCENE ENDS MID-LAUGH.

SCENE THREE: THE END

CUT TO A CAR PARKED ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.IT IS DAYTIME.

T is leaning against the car smoking. We hear a muffled noise

come from inside the boot, T hits the car with his fist. The
noise stops.

CUT TO H AND J SAT ON THE CURB, THE CAR AND T CAN BE SEEN OUT
OF FOCUS IN THE BACKGROUND. H AND J ARE MID-CONVERSATION. J
HAS A BOTTLE OF JACK DANIEL'S IN HER HAND, BUT SHE ISN'T
DRUNK.

J
How did we end up here H?
 4.

(she takes a swig)

H
How do you mean?

J
I thought we'd be given the real meat
and bones, not sat on the side of the
road with the guy alive in the boot.

H
Nah, I get it. (pause). Ever since I
can remember I wanted to be James
Bond.

(J lets out a weak laugh)

H
It just seemed so cool, you know?
Shooting bad guys, high-speed chase in
the Aston Martin DB5. You can do
whatever you want and no one can say
otherwise because you're James fucking
Bond. I had an uncle as a kid, and I
always thought he was some MI5 agent.
He carried guns, had people move out
of his way when he was coming through.
He could even park on double yellow
lines without getting ticketed. I
idolized him. Turned out he wasn't so
great. Died young. From that moment
on, I said that I'd be greater than he
ever was. Because the only thing
better than a strong man is a powerful
woman.

J
Amen to that. I mean... I guess we are
like James Bond. You know, like the
killing bad guys part. If we ever get
round to it. (Pause). Still no call?

H shakes her head, visibly tired at this point.

When we get that call I think you

should do it.

H
(H brightens up a bit) You think so?
 5.

J
Yeah definitely. You've earned it.
(Pause).I Gotta say I'll be jealous
seeing you pull that trigger though.

The pair laugh. T has finished her cigarette by this point

and goes to sit down next to H and J.

H
Thanks.

J nods as if to say no worries. T has settled.

T
What we talking about?

J
I said I think H should be the one to-

H's phone rings. She answers, responding in agreement to

whatever the other person is saying. J and T are eager like
children to hear what's being said.

H
Ladies, It's time.

CUT TO:THE THREE ARE PREPARING THEIR WEAPONS AND GO TO STAND

BEHIND THE BOOT. T IS HOLDING HER BASEBALL BAT. H IS HOLDING
THE GUN AND POSITIONS IT READY TO SHOOT, SHE GIVES J THE NOD
TO OPEN THE BOOT. THE VICTIM CAN BE HEARD WINCING. H PULLS
THE TRIGGER AND WE HEAR A GUNSHOT. CUT TO BLACK. LAYLA BY
DEREK AND THE DOMINOES PLAY. CUT TO: TITLE CARD READING
'GOODFILLES'. END CREDITS.