Business Communication

SCORE:
Far Eastern University
General Education Office

NAME: BADILLES, KAREN SECTION/SCHEDULE: DATE: 04/06/2021

FAYE P.
PROGRAM/MAJOR: BSA-2nd ACTIVITY # 1 FACULTY: MS. MAGGIE
year Business Communication –
Email

GENERAL INSTRUCTIONS: Read the three letters carefully and do what is asked in each question.
Remember to take note of the rubrics for your essay and email. They are included in the Week 7 folder.

BEGIN HERE:

I. MESSAGE TONES. It is important to know how we communicate mirrors the kind of person we are.
In the business setting, a message tone is a reflection of the writer and it affects how the reader will
perceive the message. Business writing must have the proper tone to ensure it is effective. If the tone
leaves the content unclear, confusing or, worst case, offensive, the reader won’t be able to properly
absorb or react to the text (Cullen, 2018).

Letter #1: Revise the email below to eliminate the negative tone and attitude of impatience with the
patient.

Dear Mrs. Cruz,

As we have repeatedly discussed at least five times already on the phone with you and even on emails you
sent occasionally, we can no longer provide you the remote assistance of constantly providing you
reminders on the dosages of your medicines. For the last time, always refer to the prescriptions and notes
provided to you when you were discharged. There are eight medicines that you have to take everyday.
You already have the details about these medicines. After all, we hope you have already remembered
everything since you have already called us regularly in the past days.

Much as we want to offer remote assistance, we also have current patients who need physical care and
attention. We hope that by this time you have already remembered everything. With all due respect, we
hope you do not misunderstand this message. We are just busy at the moment because of the huge
number of patients currently confined in the hospital.

Thanks,

Juan Dela Cruz

Nurse

1) Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

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We regret that we are unable to provide you with remote assistance, as we previously mentioned on the
phone and via emails. Kindly check the medications and notes that have been sent to you before you were
released. These reports would contain information such as the eight medications that you must take daily.

We try so hard to maintain all of our patient's safety and wellbeing, but we are now faced with the
challenge of giving care and attention to an increasing amount of patients in our care. As a result, we would
be unable to inform you about your normal drug dosages.

Owing to the situation, we are unable to give you remote assistance. Please don't hesitate to contact us if
you have any questions or concerns; your wellbeing is our priority, and we'd be delighted to assist you in
any manner we can.

Greetings, and best wishes for your wellbeing.

Juan Dela Cruz

Nurse

2. What do you think is the content of the email sent by Mrs. Cruz to Nurse Juan? (5pts)

The content of the email is the nurse's annoyance with attending to the same patient repeatedly. She's been
remotely listening to this guy to help him comprehend his prescription that he doesn't appear to grasp. She
is sending a direct letter to the patient in this email, requesting that he should not bother her again since
she has numerous patients to see.

3. How do you feel about the email reply of Nurse Juan? Why did you feel that way? What can be the
implication of message tones to the professional therapeutic relationship? (5pts)

Her language is impolite and unacceptably disrespectful. There are some explanations for this. It's more
about maintaining composure when it comes to health care. Because they attend to every patient, we are
dealing with their existence. Wrong medication or dosage may have a serious impact on a person's life.

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The majority of physical therapists believe that effective contact is critical to the therapy partnership.
Despite this acknowledgment, experience has shown that there may be a discrepancy in what physical
therapists want to explain to clients and what they truly comprehend. Efficient communication skills can
continue to maximize the counseling interaction.

When patients think back to their physical therapy sessions, it's usually the relationship and conversation
nature that most recall or concentrate on, not the physical therapist's professional ability. Perhaps this is
why contact is included too much in structured customer dissatisfaction. It is crucial never to undervalue
the importance of having a positive effect on customer results.

Letter #2: Revise the letter and make it professional as it is too emotional and too casual.

John,
What happened today between you and Mark????? I’m expecting a professional behavior from you both
and what you have done does not qualify as that!!!!!!!!!! Please explain!!!!
Regards,
Simon

1. Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

John,

I would like to question more about the situation that both you and Mark had today. I'm hoping it gets
settled.

Maintaining discipline and right conduct is part of our policy.

Sincerely,

Simon 

2. What is wrong with the original email? How did you make it right? (5pts)

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The original email is too rude and disrespectful. It's an incredibly unprofessional way of drafting a formal
document, there are too many symbols.
I fixed it by using technical language and making sure the meaning was accurate.

Letter #3: Revise the letter and make it professional as it is too personal and unappropriate in language.

Hi,
The password to my Paypal account is m1ccu54. Please login tomorrow and make the payment I asked
you to. You should find all the information you need inside the account.
Call me if you run into any trouble.
John

1. Your revised version of the email communication (10pts)

Greetings,

This email is in reference to the bill that you would render the next day.

Please log in to Paypal and type the following password: m1ccu54. The account will include all relevant
material.

And do not hesitate to email me if you have any questions or complaints.

Sincerely,

 John

2. What is wrong with the original email? How did you make it right? (5 pts)

The original email went right to the central message without any salutations, the original did not explain
the bill in any way, the email did not specify the date of the payment in the emails, and it lacks technical
terminologies/ professional language. I made it sound and look formal and easy to comprehend by the
receiver.

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