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April Mills

Ms. Jennfer Daddow

British Literature B - English 11-12

21 May 2021

Miguel Lozano, 27, usually gets up at ten in the morning. Being his mother’s caregiver,

he is no stranger to staying up late and preparing more than five kinds of medications that will

be given at four-hour intervals the next day. He would routinely check on his mother, Adelina

Lozano, before preparing her breakfast and helping to feed her. Being his mom’s best friend,

Miguel did not think twice about quitting his full-time job and moving back home to take care of

his mother, when the latter was diagnosed with stage three thymus cancer back in 2014.

Although he now guides his mother and moves with an expert ease, being a caregiver did not

come naturally to Miguel. In fact, he had a hard time doing most of the household chores as it

was usually his mother who would do it for their family.

“How did you do this?” an exasperated Miguel used to ask to his mother.

During Adelina’s early cancer days, when still had her strength, she would answer it with

a jovial laugh and demonstrate it to her son. On some days, she would even do it herself and

urge Miguel to go out and take some time for himself. As time passed, however, those days

became less frequent. A few months of chemotherapy and radiation treatments were enough

to cause his mother’s drastic weight loss. The barrage of side effects also included extremely

painful headaches and vomiting. Although most of the time he was successful at managing his

tears in front of other people, he cannot help but cry the first time he saw his bald mother who
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weighed 80 lbs., wake up only to vomit uncontrollably. The most difficult part of being a

caregiver for a parent is seeing their health deteriorate.

His mom had always been an inspiration to him. His mother was an obstetrician-

gynecologist who strongly advocated for women’s rights, among others. A huge part of Miguel’s

childhood was giving back to the community and tagging alongside his mother free community

clinics. Seeing the poverty-struck areas in their city and how it greatly differed from their upper

middle-class community made him understand the importance of serving others—something

that he brought with him growing up. When he graduated college, it was no surprise that he

had his first job at a non-government organization. Growing up, Miguel could never have

imagined that his mother, who used to provide medical services to patients, would be needing

an even more intensive medical treatment in the future. But what really solidified their

relationship was when he decided to come out. Although public awareness and support of LGBT

people have increased in the 2010s, it was still a relatively unacceptable for most Mexican

American families because of devout Catholicism. Not Miguel’s mother. When he decided to

come out, he heard nothing but words of affirmation and a hug that blocked out all the

discrimination and judgement he received from their extended family members. The very next

year, they both attended the annual Pride Parade.

After almost six years of battling thymus cancer, his mother ultimately succumbed to

her disease. His worst memory was seeing his mom slip away. The memory remains very fresh

for him up to this day—he remembers everything from what he wore, to how the hospital

smelled, and even the doctor whose breath smelled bad. They were all minor details, but he
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still remembers everything. Giving a bath and changing her diapers are just some of the things

he had to do, but also something he would happily choose over losing his mother every single

time. After all, his six-years’ worth of sacrifice was nothing compared to what his mother had

given to him growing up. When asked about what made him drop everything and have his life

on pause, Miguel always tells people that the choice was not a very difficult one to make. It was

something that he just had to do, and would gladly do again had he been given another chance.

For some people, surviving means thriving despite an unfavorable condition and being a

symbol of hope. For most people, however, it means getting by and overcoming hurdles day-to-

day existence. A child can never really get over the loss of a parent, especially when that

person meant the world to them. In Miguel’s case, he considered those six years as a huge part

of his life that made him who he is and so is still in the process of putting his life back together.