NAME: ________________

Section: ______
BUSINESS COMMUNICATION

CONCISENESS:

1. Eliminate wordy expressions.

a. Use single word substitutes instead of phrases.
i. Due to the fact that ___________
ii. During the time that ___________
iii. In due course ___________
iv. In most cases ___________
v. Under the circumstances ___________

b. Omit unnecessary expressions of colonial courtesy.

i. Please find attached the list you requested.
__________________________________________________________________
ii. Please be advised that your admission statement was received.
__________________________________________________________________
iii. Allow me to say how helpful your response was.
__________________________________________________________________

c. Choose relative pronouns carefully.

i. Employees who are driving to work should park in the underground
garage.
_________________________________________________________
ii. The project manager told the engineers last week the specifications
were changed.
___________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

d. Omit “which” and “that” clauses wherever possible.

i. She bought desks that are of the executive type.

__________________________________________________

ii. Cars that are sold after January will not have a six-month warranty.
______________________________________________________

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 e. Avoid over using “It is”, “it was”, “there is”, “there are” at the beginning of
sentences.

i. It was known by Mr. Smith that we must reduce inventory.

ii. There are four rules that should be observed.

f. Whenever possible, use a verb in the present tense and active voice.
i. The total balance due will be found on page 2 of this report.

ii. The new procedure was developed by the operations team.

2. Avoid unnecessary repetition.

a. Cut out all unnecessary repetition of phrases or sentences.

i. Will you ship us sometime, anytime during the month of October or
even November if you are rushed, for November will suit us just as
well, in fact a little better, 300 of regular 3 by 15 inch blue felt arm
bands with white sewn letters in the centre. Thanking you to send
these along to us by parcel post, and not express, as express is too
stiff in price, when parcel post will be much cheaper, we are …

b. Use a shorter name once you have used the longer one.

i. Mobilink Telecommunications Limited. _________________

ii. Nayab Baig _________________
c. Use initials or pronouns rather than repeat long names.

i. Pakistan Telecommunications Limited __________________

ii. Lahore Electric Supply Company __________________

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3. Include only relevant statements.
a. Stick to the purpose of the message.
i. It was a very busy Sunday for us this time. Mr. Hakeem’s wife was
packing up her things, putting all the needful in her suitcase. She couldn’t
find her hair-dryer and intends to borrow yours. Mr. Hakeem called the
airline office to inquire about the time of the flight. He wanted to know if
PK 707 bound for London would leave at 11 pm or later. They said it
would leave at 11 o’clock sharp. When he had confirmed the time, he asked
me to tell you that she would be coming on Monday morning. I hope it will
be a bright sunny day and you will take your car, drive to the airport and
collect her from there. It will be very kind of you.

b. Avoid long introductions, unnecessary explanations, illustrations and

examples, excessive adjectives and prepositions and gushy politeness. Use
Familiar Words and remove redundancies.

i. The company produced soaps, shampoos and shaving creams.

__________________________________________
ii. During the preceding year, the company accelerated productive
operations.
_________________________________________________________
iii. If you want success as a writer, you must work hard.
_________________________________________________________
iv. Absolutely complete _________________
v. Refer back ______________
vi. End result ______________
vii. Make a judgment ______________

c. Get to the important point tactfully and concisely.

i. We hereby wish to let you know that our company is pleased with the
confidence you have reposed in us.

INSTRUCTOR: Rumessa A. Naqvi