‘Happy Me’

Self is the product of happiness.

After our thorough discussion about the philosophical perspective of the self, I came to
have realizations about myself also. Knowing myself is not just merely knowing my don’ts and
likes, hobbies and behaviors. I have this idea since then that I know and I understand myself
more than anyone else. No one could ever know and understand myself better than I am. But
these perspective of mine was changed since I started to face harder challenges and
experiences as I grew older.
When I was still a kid (ages 9 to 12 years old), my views in life were been easily
influenced by other people such as my family, friends, and teachers. I always tend to listen and
do what others would suggest for me to do knowing that it was for my own good. I easily get
swayed by the opinions of others. I always compared myself to others. I acted according to
what others are expected me to do. But then, as I stepped the age of maturity, confusions and
doubts are started to grew about my true self. Until such point that I’d realized that I’m not
happy anymore of what I am doing with myself. I asked myself, “Who really am I?”, and relying
to other’s opinions and having fear of their expectations couldn’t help me to answer that
question. That is when I started to seek and know myself deeper.
I started to experience greater failures, problems at home and school, and conflicts with
other people. There I realized that I am not good in handling my problems. I felt so down and
lost. I couldn’t think of any decisions. I cannot even decide for myself. However, in the end I
was able to surpass those difficulties and left me with so much learnings and realizations about
myself and in life, because out of all those problems, I am able to seek God’s presence.
Knowing my true self is also knowing my happiness. Happiness for me is where I feel
safe, strong, loved, accepted, and fearless. And I believed that I totally found myself after I
knew and accepted God in my life. Having a relationship with God helped me to know and
understand myself deeper. Confusions and doubts were gone as I started to live by the words
of God. God gave me direction. With Him, I stopped questioning myself. In God I found myself
and I found my happiness. It is true as what St. Augustine had explained that man’s goal is
happiness, and only in God can man attain true and eternal happiness. I also agreed with St.
Augustine that human alone, without God, are bound to fail.
Now that I have God in my life, the opinions of other didn’t matter to me anymore. God
taught me not to live by how this world lives, but live by His words. Knowing myself is not
others to do. I am me because God is with me.