__. Putting Down the Gun Ranecca Watxen Iie folowing exer tom bernrodscton te ey calcson Who Moles “eWon.22 Vrs agin th Fre 2004 obec Wels yuna cc | 8 ond author othe memoir Black Wie Jewish, lke othe presses boys "prince o cori ocr teal expectations. Mies for this book was horn on night fer gruing sonversaton with my even rar-old sn. Head come home fom his progressive mile cool aly quiet and withdraws, shrugging off my questions of concern with ert ieraiity. Where was the sunny, chatty boy {dropped off hat ‘What had befallen hi inthe perilous alls of side sch backed kept close ye om hi, watching fr cues, ‘Alter aig bow of his foie past, heaton 3 ofa in my study and read his textook at | wrote at my desk, We bth enjoyed this simple yt profound the wo of us focused on our awn project yet palpably connect. As vked under the sof gow of pape anes, withthe het on high and our og oncring at his fet, my son Began to rela: ould ela shift. be gan deep in hs by that he was home tht he wa safe, that he dat 0 braceto protect himself fom the expectations ofthe outside world “An hour so psd ike this before he announced that he had He ha morphed back sto the ld Ine an wa yng down with ‘blanket over hi legs using one hand to cath Behind the dog’ er." ‘thinking that maybe shoul play sports school” “Sport| replied wth surprise, swiveling around and leasing back in hai ny sporti mind ast spore ener '\ nomehilint shrug. “Maybe stall like softball” {socked ny esd to one side, “What brought this a2" “1 dont hove he sai. °Maybe gis wl like me i pay sports” Excuse me My boy i imitv, smart, and creative beyond bli. At the time he animale, fapanese anime, the rp group Dead Pee and everthing having ty with snowbouding He liked to help bth of his grandmothers in the gtd Tika to eed scence ction, He ike to climb nt ed with me ar ay bis ‘on my chest. He liked to build vast and intricate tes wth his Legon and Degianing at ehought woud be ilo love far with ches, “Maybe lt woul ih fhe played sports? “ {all mecatreme,but lke my bilan seven-year-old daughter had cn Ihome and si "Maybe buys wl ike me stop ean i clas" Or my ‘us African-American son had tld me."Maybethe kids wll mei ac whi tried to stay calm ase iluminated the hash realities of his ath social scene. Iva utsel the i iked the jocks the est, ar somtimes to give the time of day tothe aher team the computer nerds, Since he allowed to play violent computer gates--we forbade them in outhouse = ‘as having tube securing his pace with he ater ence hie dese to the demity othe former When | aked about making lends based on corm ievezsts rather than sper eitgories he ot stereo don't undesta he said hut, "Boys talk about sports ik thee matches and who scored wh and stor the talk abou new versions omer ames tricks they to get to higher levels" Tears weld up i is jes." dont ave anything about loHe was ight until that moment tha had no idea, but suddenly the rath being sath-pde bo in America erytalized before me. My beautifl Boyan rery ther noer'betfl boy had what esetally bode dawn to two opti Fight acta insport or fight virally on the compute. Athlete, aator, gets Tom Ride, The tut of his existence, his may ies and dihies 20 tf them havingto do wth winning oiling of sy kind, had ao soil eu ‘My son could compete and score, perform and win or be an outcast ot ‘invisible, his wrique gts unaoiced and unharvested the word around hi much more impoverished “That night went to sleep with several things on my mind the conversa {planned to hae wth he hea Son's scool about te ned fo acm She curricular interrogation of the contours of masclitys the way gl fi iemselves drawn to more"‘raiionl” displays of masculinity because they ae [pore unsore thay exe sbouthow experience theron emininiy andthe many urs and endless creativity {would have to devote to ensuring that my son's tue a would not be entirely snuffed out bythe cultural imperative. 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