Helping children to develop responsibility, honesty and respect is usually

considered just as important as teaching reading or comprehension skills. There

are lots of great values to teach your child, which can help them to avoid peer
pressure or the temptation to conform to consumer culture’s demands. It is
important to consider which values you want to teach your child and determine
what the best ways are to instill these values in your child.
One of the best ways to teach values to your children is to lead by example. If you
want your child to grow up to be respectful, compassionate and honest, you need
to strive for these qualities within yourself. Your lessons can quickly be forgotten if
your children watch you contradict what you try to teach.

9 Values to Teach Your Child

1. Honesty
As children grow, influences such as friends or the media can teach them to lie. It is
important to counteract this by reinforcing the value of honesty. Children will often
fear being yelled at, so let them know you will always take the time to listen to
them. Applaud their courage for telling you the truth, but follow through with any
punishments you have stated. If you go back on your word this is setting an
example of dishonesty which can be counteractive.
2. Courtesy and Respect
Children learn respect at home based on how parents and others in their lives treat
each other. Your child will strive to model your behavior, so if you are courteous,
using “please,” “you’re welcome,” “thank you” and similar phrases, your child will
follow suit. It is also important to teach your child how to respect others’ opinions
and property so that he can create healthy relationships.
3. Gratitude
It can be all too easy to take others for granted and forget to show others that they
are appreciated. Teaching your child to be thankful each day, even for the little
things like a smile or good weather. Remind him that life is a blessing and not
everyone has the benefits he has, such as food, shelter, friends, nice clothing, etc.
Helping your child to understand this will make him more appreciative for what he
has.
4. Generosity
It is easy to get caught up in what you want, and this is particularly true for children.
Teaching the importance of sharing at home can help your child learn to interact
with others when it comes time for school. Consider taking on a charitable cause
like donating clothing or food, which can help to teach children the importance of
being generous.
5. Forgiveness and Compassion
Those that are not able to forgive can grow up to be bitter. Whether or not it is
intentional, people can act badly from time to time and it is important to forgive
these individuals and show them compassion rather than holding a grudge that will
only hurt you. You want your children to be happy, not bitter and resentful.
Teaching your child to forgive and move past things can make it easier to fuel a
healthier mindset.
6. Perseverance
Humans are not perfect and it often takes a few tries before we can manage a task
successfully. The lesson of persistence starts when kids are young, learning to feed
themselves, walk or speak. Children at this age are likely to keep trying, but as they
get older they will start to compare themselves with others, which can bring
feelings of inadequacy. As a parent let your child know that you are always proud of
him, and when he feels discouraged try to guide him to the right solution without
simply solving a problem for him. If your child learns to be persistent at a young
age, then as he gets older he will always have the urge to try his best.
7. Humility
Humility is often overlooked but this is an essential quality to have. This does not
necessarily mean lacking pride for your accomplishments but refers to having the
courage to apologize when you have done something wrong. A good parent will
stress the importance of a sincere apology.
8. Responsibility
Responsible children grow into responsible adults. It is important to teach children
to take responsibility for both the good and bad actions they do. This helps to
prevent your children from growing into whiny individuals who are always trying to
blame others for things they have done wrong.
9. Love
Parents believe that children are naturally loving and affectionate, but in order for
this to last you will need to reciprocate the emotion. Demonstrate love and
affection for others in front of your child and be generous with showing love and
affection toward your child as well. Surprise your child with loving gestures like
slipping a note into their book bag or performing thoughtful gestures at
unexpected moments.
To learn how to teach good values to your child, watch the video below:

Some psychologists think values are impossible to teach, and it is certainly true that
telling kids to be more honest, or diligent, or considerate, doesn’t work any better than
telling adults to be. But if values are impossible to teach, they are too important to
leave to chance.
In recent years, some schools have tried to add moral development to their curriculum.
But schools have a tough time teaching kids values because they intervene too late, not
to mention in too much isolation from the rest of the child’s life. Worse yet, they are
often at odds with what the child is learning at home about values.

Because the truth, of course, is that we do teach values to kids, daily, every minute of
their lives. The question isn’t whether to teach values, only WHAT we are teaching.

"But how do kids learn values, then?"

The way children learn values, simply put, is by observing what you do, and drawing
conclusions about what you think is important in life. Regardless of what you
consciously teach them, your children will emerge from childhood with clear views on
what their parents really value, and with a well developed value system of their own.

"I've heard that peers are more important in shaping values than
parents nowadays."
Of course, parents are not the only source from which children learn values, and peers
certainly influence your kids, especially as teenagers. And of course it's healthy for
young people to think for themselves and develop their own world view, as much as we
may want to influence our children.

But research shows that the stronger your relationship with your child, the more her
world -- including the opinions of her peers -- is filtered through the values she's picked
up from you. Not to mention that if she has good self-esteem and a warm home life,
she is more likely to pick friends who are more in sync with your values.

"We do talk about values with our kids, but I worry about the
messages they get in the media, about appearance and money
being all important."
TV is an effective teacher. While some TV -- especially public TV -- has many positive
social messages for young children, most TV -- especially commercial television with
advertising -- teaches values antithetical to what most parents want for their kids. (Click
here for more on how TV affects your child). It certainly helps if you don't have another
voice in your home spouting antithetical values, and studies show that TV has a definite
negative effect on kids' values around acquisitiveness, sex, violence, race, and gender,
no matter what you try to teach them.
TV, schools, religious institutions, peer group, movies, books and other media are all
strong teachers regarding values. But no matter how strong those cultural forces, most
teenagers still point to their parents as the primary source of their values.

"You're talking about views on things like race and gender being
values. I thought values were things like honesty, or being
compassionate toward those less fortunate."
Values include both what you hold dear -- such as family, education, democracy, or
equal dignity for all people -- and what you think it is important to be -- such as
compassionate, hard-working, or honest.

"Ok, so they’re learning values one way or another. How do we

teach them consciously?"

Values in most families are never directly discussed. Most of us assume our children
will develop values automatically, like magic. Teaching values consciously starts with
considering what our values are and finding ways in daily life to discuss -- and live --
them with our children.

Of course, this is complicated by the obvious fact that what humans say they believe,
and what they actually do in practice, are often different. People don’t always act on
their values. What your children will do when faced with difficult choices will depend
more on who they are, than on what they say they believe.

"So what matters most is who my kid is? What does that mean?
We all have good and bad inside us."
True. And acting from the "good" inside us is more likely if anger, anxiety and low self
esteem don't get in the way. Kids who are cherished and emotionally attended to are
more likely to respond compassionately to others, even from an early age. Which is
why parents who prioritize their relationship with their child have an easier time
teaching values. Their children have been raised empathically, and they are more likely
to treat others kindly.

But that doesn't let us off the hook. We still need to articulate our values to ourselves
and then our kids -- not just once, but over and over, applying those values to our daily
lives and the dilemmas our child faces.

"The list of my values could be very long!"

True. Values guru Michael Gurian enumerates ten moral competencies that all humans
need: decency, fairness, empathy, self sacrifice, responsibility, loyalty, duty, service,
honesty, honor.

Martin Seligman, the Happiness expert, says that happiness is a result of developing
character strengths that sound a lot like Gurian’s but also include humility, self control,
love of learning, industriousness, leadership, caution, and playfulness.

Linda and Richard Eyre, Mormon parenting experts, add to the list courage,
peaceability, self-reliance, dependability, chastity, respect, love, unselfishness, and
mercy.

Regardless of your own personal list of what you value most, I'm not encouraging you
to reel it off to your child. The words won't mean much out of context. But you can help
your child to develop the values you want him to have.  Here's how.

1. Make it relevant to his world.

Values seem almost theoretical until kids start talking about their own lives -- which,
believe it or not, are chock full of values-laden decisions.

 Is your 6 year old allowed to break a date with a friend to accept another, much
more exciting, invitation?
 How much help should your 8 year old accept from you on her school project?
 Should your 10 year old leave the neighborhood soccer team halfway through
the season when he's recruited to join a more professional team -- even though
he's the best player and his exit will definitely leave his team hurting?
 Should your 12 year old invite a girl to her birthday party who some of the other
girls look down on, but whose party she went to?
 Should your 14 year old tell the teacher that some of the kids are cheating on
the test?
 Should your 16 year old do volunteer work she doesn't particularly care about
because it will look good on her college application?
Handling these decisions is what develops our values. Don't miss the opportunity to
help your child grow by supporting her in making conscious decisions.

2. Be aware of what you’re modeling.

It isn’t what you say, it’s what you do. If you tell the kids that soccer is about fun and
skills and exercise and teamwork, but your first question is about who won the game,
they’ll learn that winning is more important than anything else. If you talk about
honesty but lie about their age to get a cheaper ticket into the amusement park, it not
only puts your child in an uncomfortable position, they learn that cheating is okay
under certain circumstances.

3. Help your child develop empathy.

Empathy is the foundation of compassion, which is the foundation of values. Children
don't learn empathy by being told to feel it. The only way kids can learn empathy is by
being treated empathically, and by watching you respond to others with compassion
and kindness. (Click here to learn more about helping your child develop Empathy)

4. Talk explicitly about your values and why they are important to
you.
What IS integrity? What is our obligation to our neighbor? What if that neighbor doesn't
look like us? Why is respectful behavior important in a church, synagogue or mosque?
Helping children interpret the world is a crucial responsibility of parents.

5. Talk about why you make certain decisions based on your

values.
Why are you voting for that candidate? In fact, why are you voting? And after you pull
the curtain shut in the voting booth, let her help you vote.

6. Label and reinforce expression of values.

When you see your child demonstrating a value that's important to you, recognize your
child for it, as specifically as possible.

 "I noticed how kind you were to Ben when you tried to cheer him up."   
 "I really appreciated that you were honest with me about what happened at
school."   
 "How generous of you to give one of your stuffed animals to Carmen!"   
 "You figured out all by yourself how to get the homework assignment you missed.
That's what I call resourceful!" 

7. Resist lecturing.
My kids tease me that I think every moment is a "teachable moment." Of course,
teachable moments only work when children are ready to learn, and most humans
experience lectures as alienating. Instead, try asking questions to find out more about
the decisions he's making and the thinking behind those decisions -- and share your
own views sparingly. He'll probably learn more from the process of articulating his
dilemmas and noticing the moral implications of his choices than he would have from a
lecture -- and he'll feel more connected to you, too, because you're listening.

8. Model community involvement.

Whether it’s running for the school board or volunteering at your church, your kids
need to see that you’re committed to the welfare of the larger community. Help them
appreciate how the invisible work of others helps each of us daily, and that the more
blessings we have in our lives, the more responsibility we have to extend help to
others.

9. Volunteer for community service projects as a family

...from coat drives to visiting the local nursing home on Valentine's Day. My children
needed my leadership and coaxing to be willing to volunteer at a local soup kitchen
with me, but they ended up loving it and wanting to do it again.

10. Encourage your child's initiatives that express budding

values.
When she decides to start a “Clean up the Park” club with her kindergarten friends,
help her organize it in a way that’s manageable and safe. The world is full of projects
that kids have launched to make the world a better place. She has to start somewhere.
11. Confront cultural messages about money.
Responsible use of money is a value that is challenging to teach in this acquisitive
culture. You’ll probably need to start by getting clear about your own values around
money. Is being a millionaire an appropriate goal in life? When he loses his cell phone
should he pay for the new one? Is it okay for your child to spend all her bat mitzvah gift
money on herself? Even if your family can afford to pay for college, should he work a
summer job to contribute?

12. Use discussion starters.

Choose books to read and movies to watch with your child, with the express goal of
building character. Of course, a careful choice is not enough, you also need to have a
discussion about what you just read or watched. Does she think the character made
the right decision? Why or why not? At the dinner table, come armed with a good
question or two to start the ball rolling. (You'll find plenty of great suggestions in 175
Conversation Starters for Family Discussions.) Or share an ethical dilemma you came
across today in your own life. They're all around, if you pay attention, from cutting
someone off in traffic to sharing gossip.

13. All kids should get an opportunity to contribute their own

money to charity.
Many families use a tripartite allowance. The lion's share is their own spending money.

Split the rest in half and put it in two separate containers, one marked "Charity," the
other marked "Savings." Savings is to help buy that bike, or to buy a present for her
friend, or to help pay for the class trip.

Charity (or Tzedaka, the Jewish equivalent that means restoring Justice), is to be given
away to a worthy cause the child chooses. A good time to do this is their birthday, or
the holiday season, but anytime is ok. Some kids will be moved by a news report of
people in need and will pack off their coins to contribute. You might offer to match
their contribution.

14. Consciously teach and model good sportsmanship.

Some people seem to be more competitive than others from birth, but all of us need to
be taught how to be good sports. Your help will make it easier for your child to find
genuine solace in a game well played, and to mean it when he says “Good game!” to
every former opponent, whether he’s lost or won.

15. Communicate faith in being "on the side of the angels".

Our children need to know that doing the right thing is not only the right thing to do,
but the satisfying thing to do, deep inside, even when it costs us something -- and what
hard moral choice doesn't cost us? To be the people we want to be, we need to believe
things that aren't provably true: that most people are mostly good, that crime doesn't
pay, that good conquers evil, that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have
loved at all ... You can certainly add to this list. Every parent will have a different answer
to the question most kids get around to asking: "Why does it matter what one person
does, if no one ever knows?" My answer is, "The angels need our help."
The value of children's lives is very expensive.
Why? Because their lives will determine the future of a family or even a country.
That’s why their childhood is a golden age, where everything they hear and
observe will greatly affect their lives later.
Their values come from the influences they get from their families environments
Therefore, my actions or influences as a parent or educator are very important.
I have to be very careful in behaving and acting.
The main basic principles of life; such as honesty, mutual respect, courage,
responsibility, generous, patient, polite, humble, full of love for others must be
able to be instilled or taught to them from an early age.
These things must always be shown and taught to them.
I will try my best to do those basic principles in my life so that they can see my life
as a good example.

In three years I see myself having a close relationship with my clients, my teachers, and of
course the atmosphere of the city where I will stay. I also will see myself expand the company
to be better known as an excellent early education institution.
I am driven to be the best at what I do and I want to work somewhere where I’ll have
opportunities to develop my skills, take on interesting projects, and work with people I can
really learn from. Some of the most innovative thinkers in the industry work here and that’s a
big reason why I would love to build a career here.
In three years I see myself having a close relationship with my clients, my teachers, and of
course the atmosphere of the city where I will stay. I also will see myself expand the company
to be better known as an excellent early education institution.