Joyce Lee (2017195170)

Gender in Eurasian History 2021-1

11 April 2021
Professor Michael Hope

Multiplicitous Matrimony: Why did the Prophet divorce some women, but not others?
- A Prosopographical Study of Ibn Sa’d’s Book VIII, Chapters 7 & 8
4. What were the shared characteristics of the Women the Prophet Married Without Consummating the
Marriage, Those He Divorced, and the Women He Proposed to but Did Not Marry (Chapters 7 & 8)?
Why did the Prophet divorce these women?

Not all wedding proposals end in matrimonial bliss. At least, sSuch wais the case for the women
whom the Prophet Muhammad married but later divorced, and for the women Muhammad proposed to but
ultimately did not marry. Examination of these failed or prematurely aborted marriages reveals a few recurring
trends among them. The interception of one of Muhammad’s existing wives (usually reported by name to be
A’isha), resulting in the deception of the bride-to-be, occureds no less than three separate times by Ibn Sa’d’s
accounts, and Muhammad himself is shown to have been unwilling to force a union with a partner who saidys
she wais reluctant to marry him (Ibn Sa’d and Brewley, 2013).1 Besides this, the next most common reasons
for divorce or annulment of the marriage are is shown to be irreconcilable differences between the womean
and Muhammad, whether they be a simple lack of attraction or more deeply ingrained beliefs, such as cultural
and religious differences. Of the marriages that Muhammad did not go through with, these characteristics –
theat of intervention by his wife A’isha to fool or trick the engaged woman, Muhammad’s largely benign
attitude towards handling rejection, and incompatibility (of both simple and more complex natures) are behind
why some women did not remain with Muhammad as one of his wives.

Deception resulting in miscommunication was certainly a favoured tactic used by A’isha to get her
husband Muhammad to call off or annul a marriage with another prospective bride. Indeed, this deceit factored
into why “the Kilabi Woman” (whose true name is disputed by scholars), Asma’ bint an-Nu’man ibn Abi’l-
Jawn, and Mulayka bint Ka’b al-Laythi were all divorced or rejected by the Prophet (100-106). In both the
Kilabi Woman and Asma’s cases, the prospective bride was told by A’isha to explicitly say “I seek refuge with
Allah from you” to the Prophet upon their first meeting. Upon being told this by his prospective spouse – that
she was seeking refuge with Allah from him, implying a disinclination to marry him – Muhammad promptly
called off the wedding and sent the woman back to her family, rather than force the issue. As for Mulayka, she
had already married Muhammad when A’isha put it into her head that Muhammad the Prophet was somehow
the one who killed Mulayka’s father (106).2 She “sought refuge” from Muhammad – again, implying a desire
to distance herself from him – and thus, he divorced her, effectively freeing her from his providence.
Muhammad is never shown to take back a woman he had once divorced, even after the deception was revealed
(100-106).3

A clear illustration of Muhammad’s approach towards marriage – i.e., of never forcing the issue, and
backing away when the woman shows any hesitation – can be seen in the cancelled engagement with Sharaf
bint Khalifa. Here, too, Muhammad is consistently shown to only go through with marriages with women who
weare completely unhesitant willing to marry him. As for Sharaf – in addition to being spooked by A’isha,4 -

1
Saʻd, I. M., & Bewley, A. A. (2013). Kitab at-tabaqat AL-KABIR. In Kitab at-tabaqat al-kabir (pp. 100-117).
London: Ta-Ha.
2
“Aren’t you ashamed to marry the one who killed your father?” The text notes that A’isha was not present when
Mulayka’s father was killed and names another man (Khalid ibn al-Walid) as the murderer (pp. 106).
3
“Mujahid said, “When the Messenger of Allah was rejected, he did not repeat the offer.” Marriage with the Prophet
was a one-time only deal. (pp. 117) This kind of evidence should appear in the main text.
4
“A mole on [Sharaf’s] cheek with every hair trembling on account of [A’isha].” (pp. 116)
Joyce Lee (2017195170)
Gender in Eurasian History 2021-1
11 April 2021
Professor Michael Hope

she wished to consult with her father before accepting Muhammad’s marriage proposal., Dduring the time in
which this took Muhammad had already changed her mind about marrying her (116-117). And what should we
deduce from this information? You needed a concluding sentence here.

In several other instances, simple incompatibility is ledbehind why Muhammad did not to go through
with the marriage. There are cases where Muhammad proposed marriage but was turned down by the woman
for one reason or another, such as with Layla bint al-Khutaym and Umm Hani’ bint Abi Talib ibn ‘Abd al-
Muttalib (109-110).5 In still other instances, the Prophet wais approached by a woman but turneds her down,
without any evidence in the text providing a specific reason as to why – such is the case with Khawla bint
Hakim ibn Umayya (114).6 Without evidence explicitly stating a reason for the rejection, one might assume
that there was simply no good reason at all for “putting her off,” i.e., turning down the proposal, save for
simply not wishing to marry her.7

Related to the issue of incompatibility were irreconcilable differences between the Prophet and some
of his wives or would-be wives. Matters such as cultural clashes or old familial bonds have more gravitas than
mere lack of romantic attraction. For women like the Kilabi Woman or Qutayla bint Qays, their differing
religious beliefs from Muhammad caused problems in their marriage. Allegedly, when the Kilabi Woman was
brought to the mosque, she “stared” openly at the people (the Muslims) around her (101). This led to her
“seeking refuge” from Muhammad, and, just as with Asma’ and Mulayka, he divorced her accordingly.
Similarly, the text outright states that “[Qutayla’s] marriage was annulled due to apostasy” – that is to say, her
marriage with Muhammad became void when she abandoned her faith in Islam and ceased being a Muslim
(105). Finally, as for the woman Umama bint Hamza ibn ‘Abdu’l-Muttalib, her shared past with Muhammad
made it tremendously difficult for him to want to marry her. Muhammad regarded Umama as family – she was
the daughter of Hamza, Muhammad’s “brother by nursing.” (115) Thus, the proposed union came across as
pseudo-incestuous to Muhammed, who stated that “Allah makes unlawful by suckling what lineage makes
unlawful.” This kinship would bewas a big enough problem for Muhammad that he wouldto refuse to marriage
withy Umama and he later gave her hand in marriage to another man instead, believing that a woman would
not, or should not, marry a relative (116).8 In this way, differing cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, or pre-
existing familial ties would createwere a bone of contention that would lead the Prophet to divorce or not
marry these women.

The Prophet married many women, but ultimately, there were many more with whom it simply did not
work out with. These were because of the machinations of his wife A’isha, an unwillingness to continue
pursuing a union with someone who was not readily enthuasiastic about it, personal conflicts of interest, and/or
mere lack of attraction. Any one of these issues on their own might be reason enough not to go through with a
marriage, but especially once compounded with each other, one has the makings of divorce.

5
Layla made it clear that she would be unhappy sharing her husband with other wives (“I will not be patient with
co-wives”), and Umm Hani’ believed that she could not be both an excellent mother to her sons and wife to
Muhammad at the same time (“I fear that if I devote myself to my husband, I will fall short in my duty to my
children…”) (pp. 109-110). Avoid relegating so much information to the footnotes.
6
“Khawla bint Hakim was one of those who offered themselves to the Prophet. He put her off.” (pp. 114)
7
Of interesting note is the case of Duba’a bint ‘Amir ibn Qurat (pp. 111). When the Prophet proposes to her via her
son Salama, she readily tells him to let the Prophet know that she has agreed to the marriage, but the Prophet does
not answer after that (“[Salama] returned to the Prophet but [the Prophet] was silent about it.”) Why the sudden and
abrupt renegement? There is no given reason in the passage as to why, making it read as if Muhammad simply got
‘cold feet.’ Perhaps this is an early historical example of the ‘ghosting’ phenomenon we have today. Again, I’m not
sure why you hid this information in a footnote. It is interesting.
8
“A woman does not marry someone who is married to her aunt.” (pp. 116) In the main text.
Joyce Lee (2017195170)
Gender in Eurasian History 2021-1
11 April 2021
Professor Michael Hope

This was a well-written assignment, which made good use of evidence from the text. The student expressed
herself clearly and her essay showed clear signs of planning and organisation. Her historical method was good,
drawing on quotes and providing additional context and information when necessary, but she should avoid
relegating important points to the footnotes. I also would have liked to see a little more analysis and
explanation at some points. Indeed, I would have liked to know what the student felt these examples revealed
about the process of conversion for women, about their relationship with the prophet, or their role in the early
Islamic community. On the whole, however, this was a good piece of work. Well done!

Mark: 95% (A+)