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Patrick Preston

ENG 372

Dr. Bromley

3/15/2011

Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet: An Exploration of Love, Marriage, and Happiness

A comparison of times is not uncommon in the social sciences, and serves to bridge the gap

between how society behaved in one age and evolved into that which people live today. Of the topics

studied, love, its effects, and outcomes are perhaps the most voraciously observed traits of human

beings. While love has been studied and characterized by many before William Shakespeare and even

more after his death, his Romeo and Juliet serves as a critique of the time in which his society acted out

love and the confines to which it was held. With love comes marriage and hopefully, but in not all cases,

happiness. The former serves as the institution in which love is supposed to grow and thrive, while the

latter is the most sought after prerequisite and outcome for marriage. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet,

serves not only to tell a story of love, but also to analyze that patriarchal society under which Romeo

and Juliet as characters live. It is under those stipulations of patriarchal society that Romeo and Juliet

serves to exemplify and exonerate lovers’ methods of finding happiness and true love, and condemn the

methodology used by parents to subjugate their children to their will.

Why would a parent ever force something upon their child if their child had no interest or desire

to do such a thing? It seems almost abusive in Western society today, but in a patriarchal society the

male was the head of the household and his demands were like those of Christ’s in the Church. More

importantly, class and pedigree were the factors separating society at the time. A properly courted and

carefully designed marriage had the ability to heighten one’s status and wealth considerably. Charles

Gibbon writes about the paradoxes of happiness and marriage in the 16 th-century in his “A Work Worth

the Reading,” where he argues both for and against the establishment of arranged marriages. In doing
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so he often brings up the point that many marriages are arranged for the aforementioned reasons of

extending one’s reign and wealth, regardless of the feelings of the parties involved: “We make no regard

of Godliness, but goods, of Righteousness, but riches, how well, but how wealthy” (Gibbon 257).

Marriage is supposed to be an institution of love under God (according to Gibbon), meant for reasons of

piety rather than materialistic desires. In marrying for such desires, Gibbon claims, the institution of

marriage is defiled.

It does not become apparent in Romeo and Juliet until midway through the play that Juliet will

have no choice in the matter of marriage. In fact, Capulet originally leaves the decision to his daughter

during his first conversation with Paris: “My will to her consent is but a part, / And, she agreed, within

her scope of choice / Lies my consent and fair-according voice” (1.1.15-17). It seems here that Capulet

does indeed wish for his daughter to be happy in marriage, giving no indication that he will force it upon

her if she refuses. It is Juliet’s mother, rather, that seems at first to desire marriage for her daughter for

esteem: “What say you? Can you love the gentleman?... / So shall you share all that he doth possess /

By having him, making yourself no less” (1.3.81-96). Juliet’s mother serves to break love down into

mere beauty and wealth, rather than desire for happiness. This is because Lady Capulet, like most

women, was married off to Capulet for those same materialistic reasons, and knows not true love but

rather the love of possession and title.

This misunderstanding of true love is ultimately one of the most complex themes within Romeo

and Juliet. Arguably, only Romeo and Juliet can understand why they are in love in the first place. If

Capulet and Lady Capulet have any understanding of love, it is based upon the time spent with each

other over the many years they have been married, not because of their initial arrangement. When it

comes to the point that Tybalt has died and Juliet’s parents are forcing her to marry Paris, they do not

understand Juliet’s desire to be happy during her wedding itself, rather than some time after it or
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because of what she may acquire thereafter: “He shall not make me there a joyful bride” (3.5.117). Her

parents believe that moving the marriage with Paris would end her grief and help her get over her the

death of Tybalt, yet when Juliet declines, Capulet comes at her with full force and threatens to disown

her if she does not comply. Here Shakespeare defines a problem within the structure of the family:

parents are not involved enough in their children’s lives to be making life-long decisions such as

marriage for them. Juliet (and perhaps the Nurse) is the only person who knows what will make her

happy. Despite Capulet’s and Lady Capulet’s good intentions for their daughter, they have not raised

her. Therefore don’t know enough about her as a person and do not understand what she wishes for

herself in life. To her parents then, Juliet is merely an object to be given away: “If a man may give his

goods to whom he will, he may as well bestow his children where he thinketh best, for children are the

goods of the parents” (Gibbon 255).

If parents do not actively seek happiness for their children, then they are only seeking it for

themselves, even if they place it under the guise of their child being happy. Gibbons exemplifies this by

saying: “The parents’ joy depends upon their children” (256), but this raises the question: what of their

children gives parents joy? In the case of Juliet, her parents seeing her married to Paris would bring

them joy, but not herself. Her happiness would be secured with Romeo but not her parents because he

is her family’s enemy. If a child’s obedience rather than his/her happiness is the means by which joy is

brought to the parent, how can a child and a parent ever both be happy through a marriage in this time

period? Shakespeare would probably argue that in life in his day and age, it is not possible in a

situation such as that within Romeo and Juliet since there is a lack of common ground for which both

parties to agree upon.

Shakespeare’s purpose thus turns back to the aforementioned desire for social advancement,

which, when acquired by a child also passes back up to the parents. In spite of the affirmation of Lady
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Capulet to Juliet: “Well, well, thou has a careful father, child; / One who, to put thee from thy heaviness,

/ Hath sorted out a sudden day of joy” (3.5.107-109), the reasoning behind it is out of selfishness and

advancement rather than benevolence towards Juliet. Interestingly, Gibbon, regardless of saying the

child is the property of the parent to use as they will, also says: “for albeit parents ought to yield their

consent to their children’s choice, yet they have not power to provoke them to marry, if necessity

urgeth not” (255). When applied to the situation at hand, Shakespeare is evidently saying that the

Capulets believe that to marry for money and social advancement is an urgent and legitimate excuse.

Speculation of this logic gives way to the idea that perhaps the Capulets did not consider a possible

marriage uniting Romeo and Juliet and ending the blood feud between the Montagues and Capulets, as

Friar Laurence hopes, worthier than a heightened social status. Conceivably, a social advancement

would allow them to overshadow the Montagues and thus eliminate the feud through stature and might

rather than words and peace.

Regardless of the possibilities, it is not until Act 4, when Juliet and Friar Laurence put their plan

of deception into play, that the Capulets finally realize the folly in forcing unwanted love upon their

daughter. After the Capulets find the body of Juliet, ostensibly dead, Friar Laurence remarks unto Lord

and Lady Capulet:

The most you sought was her promotion,

For ‘twas your heaven she should be advanced
Above the clouds as high as heaven itself?
O, in this love you love your child so ill
That you run mad, seeing that she is well.
She’s not well married that lives married long,
But she’s best married that dies married young. (4.4.98-105)

The first five lines serve to replicate that which was said already, now recognized as a mistake: that to

marry only for money and wealth is to love falsely. Capulet desires such a good life for his daughter that

he will use any means necessary to procure it, regardless of the cost. Unfortunately, the cost is his
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daughter’s life, which is the highest cost one can pay for fame and fortune. The last two lines serve to

allude to the fact that she was already married, and to delegitimize the wedding that Paris and she were

to have, not only because she was already married to Romeo, but also because it was forced and for

erroneous reasons. They also serve to exemplify the happiness that marriage is supposed to bring. A

long marriage is rarely a happy one since there is time enough for the flames of love to fade and simple

contentment to grow. A short marriage that dies early but is full of love dies happy. Friar Laurence

could also be playing on a mockery of Lord and Lady Capulet by comparing them to Romeo and Juliet in

that Romeo and Juliet have a love for one another that the Capulets have never and never will have.

The love that Romeo and Juliet have for one another serves to forgo the binds placed upon

them by their parents and society in general. Their motives for love and happiness transcend the

materialistic desires that form the stereotypical foundation of marriage, acting to reestablish the

holiness and Godliness of matrimony. Before their marriage, the Friar states: “So smile the heavens

upon this holy act / That after-hours with sorrow chide us not” (2.5.1-2). In saying this he gives God’s

approval of their secret marriage, for it is of good purpose. Further, he alludes to the pains that may be

caused by Romeo’s and Juliet’s union, but hints that the outcome will be more fruitful than any

consequences that may present themselves. In marrying, Romeo and Juliet abolish the remaining

obedience held for their families and figures of authority. When societal and parental pressures thus

present themselves, Romeo and Juliet are utterly alone in their choice. The Friar can receive no blame,

and in fact does not at the end of the play: “We still have known thee for a holy man” (5.3.271), because

he is acting on behalf of God.

Romeo and Juliet, despite the consequences, take happiness into their own hands and disregard

that of their parents, for they wish only to be with one another. Shakespeare legitimizes this selfishness

by allowing his characters to develop a love for one another that transcends the cultural demands and
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expectations of the time and situations within the play. Romeo and Juliet are Shakespeare’s tools which

he uses to show the folly and outcome of a society that puts money and purpose before their child’s

lives and hearts. Their deaths give weight and example to Shakespeare’s words, a permanent fate that

serves not only to send a message of grief to his audience, but also to use the foundation of tragedy to

mock the establishment of the class-based society in which he lived. The death of Romeo and Juliet is

finalized by the conclusion of an aforementioned theme: in Shakespeare’s time, there is no compatibility

for both a parent’s and child’s happiness in life. The death of Romeo and Juliet bridges that gap by

bringing happiness to their parents through the alliance of the two feuding families, and to Romeo and

Juliet in the afterlife.

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Works Cited

Romeo and Juliet: Texts and Contexts. Ed. Dympna Callaghan. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2003.

Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. The Norton Shakespeare. Ed. Stephan Greenblatt et. al.
New York: W.W. Norton, 2008. 905-972.