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WEEK 2 FEAR PART 2: FEAR + THE INNER CRITIC

If THIS, then THAT TOOL

Letting Go of the Rules You’ve Made Up

Many times our inner critic will create truth from two concepts that don’t have to be related to one another. For instance, “If
I stand up for myself, then I’m an asshole.” “If he doesn’t love me, then I’m not worthy of love.” “If I gain weight, then I’m a
loser.” The point of this exercise is to untangle the collapse of these two concepts. What if just the first part was true? What
if you just gained weight? What if it didn’t mean anything? What if you just stood up for yourself? End of story?

Using the form below, take a look at what truth (or rules) you have been creating. Your challenge is to contest your Inner
Critic when he/she/it begins creating truths for you! What if the items in the first column stood alone and you didn’t allow
your Inner Critic to make them mean anything?

I have allowed my Inner Critic to say:

IF: THEN:

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Owen

Now, go back and read the items in the first column and repeat them out loud as such:

If I stand up for myself, then I stand up for myself.

If he doesn’t love me, then he doesn’t love me.

If I gain weight, then I gain weight.

What shifts for you if you untangle this collapse of meaning? What are you noticing about moving toward a more factual,
neutral statement?

INNER CRITIC INVENTORY + TRIGGERS

What have you been saying to yourself?

Over the next few days, take some time to notice the exact Inner Critic language going on in your mind. Use the space on
the following page (first column) to jot down any thoughts/phrases that come up. Take note of when you feel defeated or
disempowered and look for the internal self-talk that may accompany those feelings.

The second part of your Inner Critic inventory, is to notice WHEN your Inner Critic gets the loudest, or when he/she/it is
triggered. Notice if your internal talk shifts around various situations, topics, or people. Are you triggered by body image?
Family members? Comparisons to others? Your workplace? Around other parents? Use the space in the second column on
the following page to record any triggers you are noticing.

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My inner critic says: Which is triggered by:

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THE PEP TALK: PROGRESSIVE LANGUAGE SELF-TALK STATEMENTS

The Inner Critic Rebuttal

Using the information you learned in the audio lesson, create empowering self-talk statements for yourself around topics
that tend to send you into a spiral of negative self-talk.

FORMULA:

As it relates to (this topic) , I want to feel (this emotion) .

EXAMPLES:

As it relates to my parenting, I want to feel strong and powerful.

As it relates to my job, I want to feel knowledgeable and like an

authority.

As it relates to my marriage, I want to feel peaceful and happy.

As it relates to ____________________________________, I want to feel _________________________________________________________.  

 
 
 
As it relates to ____________________________________, I want to feel _________________________________________________________.

As it relates to ____________________________________, I want to feel _________________________________________________________.

As it relates to ____________________________________, I want to feel _________________________________________________________.

As it relates to ____________________________________, I want to feel _________________________________________________________.

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Now using your first name, tack a Progressive Statement on to the front of how you want to feel in order to create a new
Pep Talk Statement.

EXAMPLE:

Amy, you are exploring what it looks like to be a powerful, strong parent.

Amy, You are committed to feeling like an authority and knowledgeable in your job.

Amy, you are open to figuring out what it means to be happy and peaceful in your

marriage.

PROGRESSIVE STATEMENT EXAMPLES:

On your way to… You are learning what it means to…

You are exploring… You are open to figuring out what…

You are redefining what ___________ means or looks You are actively creating…
like.
You are committed to...
You are actively working on embracing…

 
__________________________________________________________________  
 
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__________________________________________________________________  
 
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Final step? START USING THEM! Use your new pep talk statements as you talk to yourself around your various Inner
Critic triggers and statements.

Once completed, you may want to choose the statement(s) which most empower you and place them on screensavers,
your phone screen, your fridge, your car dashboard, on your alarm clock, on your mirror, etc. to remind yourself of the
phrases you want to attach to. If you are visual, you can use the spaces below to enter your new statements, cut them out,
and post them all around you to serve as a constant reminder.

 
 

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