Professional Documents
Culture Documents
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SETTING)THE)STAGE:))
GETTING)READY)TO)BRING)
FOCUSING)INTO)CLIENT)SESSIONS
your clients about Focusing, and what are the essential relational
and attentional qualities that form the ideal environment for Focus-
ing. These qualities are common to many forms of therapy, so it is
likely you are already doing therapy in a way that is eminently com-
patible with Focusing. This is good news. I also offer suggestions for
conducting a first session in a way that sets the stage for Focusing,
and how to support clients with suggestions for Focusing-related
self-care between sessions.
How you bring Focusing into your client sessions depends on
many things, including your own personal style, your primary theo-
retical framework, and whether you are in private practice, or in an
agency, or some other setting. Some ways of working with clients
are already close to a Focusing style. If you are already interested in
how your client experiences his world, if you already believe that
connecting empathically with your client’s felt experience is a good
idea, Focusing will fit very well for you. If not, then bringing in Fo-
cusing will be a bit more of a stretch, but it can be done.
Bringing Focusing into client sessions will also depend on the cli-
ents. A new way of working will probably be easier to bring to your
newer clients. If you’ve been working with someone for a long time,
your way of working with that client is established. Doing anything
differently may seem odd or upsetting to your long-term client.
There are ways to handle this, but it isn’t as easy as working in a
certain way from the start. You may also have clients who are more
comfortable trying something new or have an easier time being in a
witnessing state with their own felt experience—or you may have
clients who feel that therapy has fallen into the doldrums and are
eager to try something that can get things moving again. All this can
impact the way in which you bring Focusing into client sessions.
You may be wondering how to explain Focusing to your clients.
The answer is simple: You don’t have to. There’s no need to explain
Focusing to your clients. In fact, even mentioning Focusing can be
counterproductive. The default mode of bringing Focusing to your
client sessions is to not use the word “Focusing” at all. (We’ll see
some exceptions to this later.)
How could explaining Focusing to your client be counterproduc-
tive? Clients who hear that you are using some particular method
may wonder if this is something they can fail at, or something they
need to do well in order to please you. If you have been working
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with a client for a while, and you introduce a new method, the client
may wonder why you felt the need to bring in something new. There
may also be a sense of setting an expectation for a “right” way to be.
Brenner (2012) said, “Clients pick up what we want from them, so
we want to stay away from communicating expectations or judg-
ments about the process.”
One therapist said to me: “When I first learned about Focusing, I
tried to tell my clients about it. I got a lot of mixed reactions. People
wondered why I needed to try something different, what was wrong
with what we had been doing. Some people got quite anxious at
knowing there was a new method they might fail at. It felt like Fo-
cusing as a concept was getting in between me and my clients. What
I do now is, I don’t tell them. I just bring in a Focusing way of being.
I think at first, when Focusing didn’t feel natural to me, it was hard
to bring it into client sessions naturally. It felt abrupt, really different.
But now it’s smooth. The Focusing way of being has become part of
who I am, how I am with people. I couldn’t even point to which part
of my sessions are Focusing any more.”
What I will show you in this book are ways of adding a Focusing
dimension to what you already do. The interventions will probably
integrate so smoothly that your client will not experience you as doing
something different. Although I will be introducing you to some con-
cepts that will underlie what you do, there is no need to explain those
concepts to your clients. It is enough that you know them.
THE)THERAPEUTIC)ENVIRONMENT))
THAT)SUPPORTS)FOCUSING
The welcoming space I offer right from the beginning has the
quality of “good mothering.” This means: being present in a
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Infant studies support the claim that anyone’s felt sense of self
(“I know who I am, what I want, how I feel”) comes into being
only as there is response to a self’s developing motivations,
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GENUINE)EMBODIED)PRESENCE:))
THE)THERAPIST)FOCUSING
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AT)THE)FIRST)CONSULTATION
The first goal in the first session is that the client feel connected with
by the therapist. This begins with the smallest details, such as
whether you yourself go out to the waiting room to greet her, the
warmth of your handshake and eye contact, whether she can feel
your genuine interest in who she is as a person. Attunement to the
needs of the client expresses itself in our not having one standard
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way of starting the interview. We can already tell that some people
are ready to pour out their stories, and need no more than an invita-
tion to begin, whereas others are clearly a bit held back and appreci-
ate some structure and a series of questions to draw them out. As
Brenner points out, there is every reason to follow the client’s lead
on this, because ultimately the client’s sense of safety and comfort in
the therapeutic relationship will determine what is possible in the
therapy.
Brenner emphasizes the Kohutian notion of “experience-near” in
the first session with a new client. She points to this quote:
In getting to know a client, Brenner listens for the edge, the spirit,
the passion, the suffering, what really brought the person to her of-
fice. “What made you pick up the phone?” Brenner (2012) likes to
ask. “Because then you’re getting to the urge, the impulse, what was
that present-moment experience of them wanting to come in to see
you . . . rather than immediately talking about goals or what is
wrong. There is something juicy, something immediate, about the
behavior: picking up the phone.”
We may have the urge to correct clients. We may see how their
beliefs or attitudes or behaviors are not serving them. But an atmo-
sphere of argument is not a safe space. Change in beliefs, attitudes,
and behaviors will optimally arise within an atmosphere of safety
that begins with acceptance. Brenner (2012) said, “Especially at first,
I always say ‘Yes’ to the client. I find a way to say ‘Yes,’ to under-
stand why what they feel makes perfect sense from their point of
view—and to reflect that back, and explore how it is for them.”
She described a client who came in with the goal of getting rid of
her painful rages.
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a first session. I would start with empathy, get over there into
her shoes. Because she wants to get rid of those feelings, and
she is suffering, and it’s causing her a lot of distress. I’ll say,
“Absolutely! This is really stressful for you! Tell me more about
it! Sounds like that’s really getting in the way of your life!” It’s
not just that I’m empathizing. I take seriously that that is their
goal. I let them know I am aligned with them to work on that.
They are no longer alone, I am an ally with them.
FOR)NEW)CLIENTS:))
A)FOCUSING=ORIENTED)ASSESSMENT
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The first four elements are about the content of the client’s living
and the issues that he is bringing to psychotherapy. There are four
more elements, however, that are more process oriented, that are
about the manner of the client’s process rather than the content.
Noting these process elements during a first session will aid a cli-
nician in being able to tailor the work of therapy to what a client is
ready and able to do from a process perspective. Clients who are al-
ready pausing and checking inwardly while speaking will need very
little prompting to bring a Focusing awareness to their inner experi-
ence. Clients at the edge of being overwhelmed will need immediate
support in establishing a strong self (see Chapter 5) before Focusing
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is possible. Clients who are distant from their own experiencing and
locked into fixed categories may need extra help to move toward a
Focusing perspective (see Chapter 7).
If you work for an agency that requires you to do a specified in-
take, and collect information for a form, you can still do this in a way
that enhances the client’s experience of comfort and relaxation, and
begins the process of preparing the client to be open to her own ex-
periential process. The key would be to stay connected with the
person across from you, to let the person sitting there be more im-
portant than the form on your desk. The form can always be picked
up a bit later in the session. Obviously the form needs to be filled
out, but the way in which it is filled out can be chosen so the client
feels himself to be more important to you than the form.
As you ask for the information needed by the agency, you don’t
have to become “businesslike.” You can have a slow and relaxed
pace, a tone of voice that expresses true warmth, interest, empathy.
For some people it helps to state the need for the information with-
out asking a question, for example, “I’m wondering if you’re on any
medications right now. It would help us to know that.”
In addition to intake for your agency, there may be other forms
for the first visit, including forms for the primary care physician,
consent forms for talking to other professionals working with the
family, and so on. Working with forms can usually be done with
empathy for the person across from you who is having to respond to
these enquiries. It can help to extend that same empathy to yourself
as someone who was trained to connect with people, and yet you
have to deal with these forms in the first session. These first-session
formalities may include making a diagnosis and filling in a treatment
plan. It can be challenging yet important to stay with the relation-
ship in the present moment despite these exigencies.
EXPECTATIONS)AND))
MUTUAL)RESPONSIBILITIES
What are the ground rules of our relationship and our work to-
gether? What can the client expect, and what is expected of him? In
a first session you already discuss items that probably include confi-
dentiality, what to do in an emergency, what happens when either
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one of you needs to miss a session, and so on. There are also specific
expectations and mutual responsibilities for a Focusing-oriented way
of working.
What we hope for from clients is that they will check what we say
with their own internal sense of how things are, and correct us if
what we say doesn’t fit them. If clients know that they can correct
us, this will advance the work of therapy in two important ways: (1)
it makes the relationship safer because the client is respected as the
authority on his or her own process, and (2) for the client to check
inwardly is a key part of the Focusing process itself, as we will see. I
say more in Chapter 3 about how to offer “experiential guesses” so
that they are easier for the client to correct.
Psychotherapy is always to some extent an educational process.
People arrive with ideas about how therapy works, and they bring
methods that—more or less consciously—they have already been
using to handle and manage emotional states, decisions, relationships,
and so forth. The process of psychotherapy involves, among other
things, a relational encounter between the client with these ideas and
methods, and the therapist with his own ideas and methods.
For example, an assumption that a client may bring into therapy
is that negative emotions need to be disrespected or pushed away. In
a Focusing way of working, the client would neither push away
“negative” emotions nor act on them, but rather turn toward them
with interested curiosity to get to know what underlies them. A psy-
chotherapist might explain that to a client in a first (or later) session.
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IF)YOU)WANT)TO)TALK)TO))
YOUR)CLIENTS)ABOUT)FOCUSING)
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our sessions and have a feeling for what the felt sense is, that
the book enhances their own process and understanding and
our work together really blossoms using this process.
HOW)TO)TALK)TO)OTHERS)ABOUT)FOCUSING
Whether or not you tell your clients about Focusing, there may be
other people whom you want to tell about it. Depending on whom
you are talking to and what their framework is, there are actually
many ways to talk about Focusing. Here are some examples.
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IN)BETWEEN)SESSIONS
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places is not hard, and those hurt places love nothing more
than simply to be listened to.
I give clients “homework” if they ask me for it, often at the end of
a session. “Is there something you can tell me to do at home?” If pos-
sible, I’ll draw on the session we just had to point out processes they
seemed to find helpful, and show how they can continue to use
those processes if needed after they leave.
Once you have set the stage for Focusing with the conversations
and relational connections described in this chapter, the next recom-
mended step is to begin to observe the felt senses that are naturally
occurring for your clients, and support them when they occur. In
Chapter 3 we’ll talk about how to recognize felt senses and how to
make sure clients get the most out of them when they come.
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