One Step Closer

One step closer, I can achieve my dreams. One more step, I can finally say that I did it! It’s
indeed overwhelming when you fantasize about being successful in life where you can
sustain all your wants and needs, where you can travel and do all the things you dreamed of
doing. Everything is all set and I am determined to give all of my best. I was too excited to
show off my intelligence and thought I was ready and prepared enough to conquer all the
hardships and obstacles in this battlefield but I was wrong. This is not what I imagined. This
is not what I fantasized. This is way too far from my fantasy… and I am not ready for this
war.

The life of a college student is quite difficult especially when you find yourself being
surrounded with students who are more ambitious, shrewd, cunning, and goal-oriented than
you are. As I gaze at these brilliant students in my class, I become more eager to strive harder
and I never let my guard down. I know that I belong in this class and that I belong with these
geniuses. I am competitive and born to be successful just like them. If Don Honorio Ventura
State University was Hogwarts School, our class is definitely the Slytherin House where the
students possess cleverness, power, and strong leadership skills. In short, the students in our
class are gifted individuals.

My first semester was not as great as I thought. It seems like some professors enjoyed
bombarding us with multiple activities, quizzes, reportings, and role playing. But as a student,
I couldn’t complain as I have been told that a good student only obeys and a future educator
definitely doesn’t whine over such matters. I do not have the courage to protest as I am too
powerless to do it. Truth to be told, I was on the verge of giving up when we encountered
different types of professors in our first year. We were lucky enough to have had our own
Rubeus Hagrid and Minerva McGonagall who always had faith in us but we also have our
own kind of Dolores Umbridge and Severus Snape whose goal and speciality is failing
students and being subjective. Unsurprisingly, things got messier when COVID-19 started.
We’re now incapable of going to school and we’re only required to have classes virtually.
Lots of adjustments have been made, yet the teachers are still the same. I began to wonder if
my professors are soulless individuals like Dementors who don't feel anything but prefer to
make you suffer and be vulnerable.

There is no room for the weak souls in this university regardless of the setting—face-to-face
or virtual. If you are weak like Neville Longbottom then, you cannot survive this hell. Yes—
I mean to say hell if you are just like me: A student who was seen as mediocre and irrelevant.
If you want to survive and be acknowledged by the professors, then be like Hermione
Granger who’s motivated, perfect, and a total genius. Professors would definitely praise you
if you are this type of student. I am absolutely certain of that as I myself witnessed how my
genius classmates were treated. The saddest part of being recognized as a mediocre student is
regardless of how hard you try to prove yourself, no one will recognize your hard work,
efforts, and existence. In the end, you mean nothing to them. You’ll remain unseen, so I’d
rather stay lowkey and hidden like Luna Lovegood who didn’t bother to prove how worthy
she was as it’s too exhausting to do it, and I can’t afford to lose my energy for the sake of
proving my point—it’s pointless.

One step closer, I’m about to fail. One more step, I can feel my own grave. This university
made me realize that I am not an intelligent student but rather an average one. As I stopped
fantasizing, the excitement I once had in my mind crumbled. I lost my determination and the
fire I had in my heart was blown out. Life’s too cruel. All I ever wanted was to succeed but I
had no idea that things would be this hard. I came to this battle unprepared. I didn’t bring my
wand. But if I could use the killing spell on myself, I’d wholeheartedly use Avada Kedavra
for this misery of mine to finally end.