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Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes,
charter a double-decker bus for a weekend for a bowling tournament
in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus, and the blonde
team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is
whooping it up, having a great time, when one of them realizes
she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.
One of the blondes looks up and says to her, "Yeah, but you've got
a driver!"
Two nuns took their first trip outside the convent. They had never
seen a baseball game, so they got tickets. Once inside, they sat in
the bleachers, and hearing a vender selling hot dogs, one said, "We've
never had hot dogs before," and they decided to order a couple.
The first nun unwrapped her hot dog, and proceeded to quickly wrap it
up again, saying, "Oh, my!"
"Well," came the reply, "which part of the dog did you get?"
"Yes, that's true, she replied, "but you do have all the equipment."
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The
first of the twosome Teed Off and watched in horror as her ball
headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his
hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to
roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
She then explained that she was a physical therapist:
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd just allow me!" she told him
earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnoo, I'll be all right.... I'll be fine in a few
minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in a fetal position
still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted: and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took
his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put
her hands inside, beginning to massage him.
"How does that feel?" she asked.
"It feels great." He replied. "But my thumb still hurts like hell!".
submitted by: Ajmal
A father walks by his sons bedroom and stops. He heard him say,
"GOD BLESS MOMMY, DADDY, AND GRANDMA. TA TA GRANDPA."
The father did not know what the boy meant but he was glad his son
was praying. The next day he found Grandpa died.
That night he went to his sons room and heard his son praying,
"GOD BLESS MOMMY AND DADDY. TA TA GRANDMA."
The dad was scared but waited till morning. And sure enough Grandma
was died
That night he went to his sons room again and heard him praying,
" GOD BLESS MOMMY. TA TA DADDY."
The Dad was really scared. He didn't sleep all night. In the morning he went
to the doctor to check him.
When he came home he saw his wife. His wife said,
" THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE, HONEY!!! WE FOUND THE MILK MAN DEAD ON
THE FRONT PORCH THIS MORNING!!!"