• One punishment for an adulterous wife in medieval France was to make her chase a chicken

through town naked

• Kellogg's Corn Flakes were invented by a Dr. Kellogg in hopes that they would reduce
masturbation
• A favorite hangout for prostitutes in 17th century London was St. John's Park. Even though the
gates were locked at 10 p.m., 6,500 people had authorized keys (many unauthorized keys were
also in circulation
• Intercourse peaks in July
• The maximum depth at which vaginal stimulation occurs is only 2"
• In 1609 a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with 2 penises. Since then, there have
been 80 documented cases of men with the same
• Sex on an inclined surface (an anthill, for example) builds endurance
The length of an orgasm is usually anywhere from three to eleven seconds or four to seven feet
• The greater the orgasm, the deeper the sleep. Multiple orgasms (20 or more per hour) can induce a
coma and near-fusion with the mattress
• When reading horizontally from Shakespeare's original published copy of Hamlet, the furthest left
hand side reads 'I am a homosexual' in the last 14 lines of the book. Was this a message, or just a
coincidence?
• Both Hitler and Napoleon were missing one testicle
• The condom was originally made of sheep intestine. It was invented by a Dr. Condom in the early
1500s for Henry VIII. Seems that Henry wanted to sleep with various women without leaving any
evidence
• Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions
• The great warrior GHENGHIS KHAN died in bed while having sex

• Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions

• Lip stick was said to have been invented in the Eygptian times for women that specialized in oral
sex. They wanted their lips to look more inviting

• Adults average only one nightmare a year, but typically have seven sexual fantasies a day
• Improved breath control increases oxygen supply throughout entire body, prevents asphyxiation
during mighty kisses, trims and tones pelvis, promotes a stronger upper body enabling you to hold
on tight and keep partner from damaging furniture during moments of ecstasy
• Sex makes you alert and ready to face the world ... it's an ideal substitute for a hot breakfast
• Alexander the Great was a homosexual
• Endophilia is the desire to have sex with your clothes on. Necrophilia is the sexual attraction to a
corpse
• 85% of all men who die of heart attacks while having sex are doing what? Cheating on their wives
• The eagle has sex while going up to 60 mph. in flight, and it is common for both eagles to hit the
ground before they finish
• Although Hitler did condemn homosexual acts, he only condemned them between men. Lesbians
were not condemned at all. They were rarely (if any at all) sent to concentration camps, because it
was not in the laws written by Hitler to condemn women loving other women
• More than half the American men surveyed in a recent poll admit to having sex with women they
disliked. It didn't say how many were referring to their wives
• America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men
• The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B.C.
 The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s
• Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more
emotional for women. Just knowing that the man *wants* to have sex with them fulfills the emotional
need
• After 16 steady hours
of sex, it is wise to check your insurance policy.
• In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual
orgasm
• In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife
• Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7

• Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

• Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons
• As per WHO, there are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day
• England's King Edward VII had a special table built so that he could comfortably engage in sexual
intercourse

• According to one poll, nearly 3/4 of all American women wear a bra that is the wrong size
• Thirty percent of our body heat escapes through the head (wear a hat during sex)
• Sex makes you alert and ready to face the world. it's an ideal substitute for a hot breakfast
• In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit
• Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores
• Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour

Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour

• Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200
• When men of the Walibri tribe of central Australia greet each other, they shake penises instead of
hands
• The average sexual experience lasts about 39 minutes
• The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain has been clocked at 156
miles per hour
A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the releaseof endorphins), so headaches are in
fact a bad excuse not to have sex
• An estimated 6,000 American teenagers lose their virginity every day
• The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s
• The first sperm banks opened in 1964; they were located in Tokyo and Iowa City
• A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes
• Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle
• The sex organ on a male spider is located at the end of one of its legs
• The average human has seven sex fantasies in a day
• Some lions have sex over 50 times a day
• Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure
 • There's no business like show business, but there's no job like a blowjob.
• Having a good boyfriend is like having a good bra, its all about support!
• Smoking is pulmonary rape.
• Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
• I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women."
• One of us is thinking about sex.......O.K., now it's two.
• If you go around acting like an asshole, sooner or later, you will be covered in crap.
• The difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot
less.
• Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man.

• Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less ... in my opinion those clothes weigh
exactly two pounds!
• If men had periods, they'd brag about the size of their tampons.
• For complete control of your computer...grab the mouse by it's ball.
• Love is a complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.
• Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
• Don't laugh...it could be YOUR girlfriend that's making this car shake!
• As confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market.
• My first sexual experience took place in my girlfriend's living room. Then she came downstairs and
ruined it.
• Banning the bra was a big flop.
• Don't make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain't.

• Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary!

• If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time -Louise Sammons.
• I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.
• The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.
• An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

• Dyslexic man walks into a bra.

• Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself!
• The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
• Anal intercourse is for assholes.
• Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. ~Robert Heinlein

• The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently - Margaret Smith

• Sex is like rain. It all depends on how many inches you get.

 Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can
be traced back to you.
• Height of unemployment: Cobweb growing in whore's pussy.
• Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks all
• So much is spent on breast implants and viagra but almost none on Alzheimer's. Soon there will
be people with big tits and huge erections but can't remember what for
• Sex is like air, the less you have the more important it becomes
• Tomorrow is National Orgasm day...Hope you can come
• A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you
It's Okay to kiss a nun, as long as you don't get into the habit.
• Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
• Sex is like a bridge game; if you have a good hand, no partner is needed.
• Nuns don't wear bra because they believe that God supports bloody every damn thing!
• Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
• Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
• Did you ever notice that everyone in favor of birth control has already been born?
• Love ain't nothing but sex misspelled.
• The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
• 9 out of 10 men prefer large breasts. The other man prefers the 9 men.
• Lesbian: another case of a woman attempting to do a man's job!
• Have you ever wondered what a female cat calls her reproductive organ?
• My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty
- Woody Allen
• The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the
south.- Lance Morrow
• Go braless: it'll pull the wrinkles out of your face.