The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got ready to proceed, the

patient clamped his jaws.

At last, he took his assistant aside and told her at the very moment he poised the forceps,
to give the patient's balls a vicious pinch.
The pinch was administered, the nervous patient's mouth flew open, and the tooth was
easily removed.
"Didn't hurt, did it?" asked the dentist.
"Not too much," replied the patient, "but who would have thought the root went that
deep?!"

Sports cars
In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about
materials.
So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw
material in the world what would it be?"
Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money
and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I
could buy a Corvette"
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnnie.
Little Johnnie stood up and said, "I would want silicon."
The teacher said, "Why?"
He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the
sports cars outside our house!!"

BEER SEX

Banta spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't
back off he asked her name.
"Carmen," she replied.
That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.v "Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes.
"So what's your name?" she asked.
"Beersex."
MOTHER’S DAY

Santa's family was having dinner on Mother's Day. For some reason his wife, Jeeto, was
unusually quiet. Finally Santa asked what was wrong.
"Nothing," said Jeeto.
Not buying it, he asked again, "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids
for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as 'Thank you'."
"Why should I?" Santa said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."
"Yes," Jeeto said, "but I'm their real mother."

DOLLAR FRO ISRAEL

A customs agent stopped an old Jewish man who had just immigrated to Israel and asked
him to open his two suitcases.
In the first suitcase he found over a million dollars in one dollar bills.
"Excuse me, sir" he asked the old gentleman, "where did you get all this money?"
"Well, I'll tell you," the old man began, "for many years, I traveled all around America, I
stopped at all of the public rest rooms in all the major cities; I went to New York, then I
went to Chicago, then I went to San Francisco. I went into all the stalls here the men were
spiriting and I say 'Give me a dollar for Israel or I'll cut off your testicles with my knife.'"
"That's quite a story," the customs agent said, "what's in the second suitcase?"
"Well, you know," said the old man, shaking his head, "not everyone likes to give..."