A good start but you must analyse the language.

So find quotes from the text

that illustrate each point (say two for each?). Pick quotes that illustrate the idea
but also utilize obvious language techniques. Introduce the quote (who is
saying what to who) and identify techniques in a way that relates back to the
point/theme (ie. ‘here Shakespeare uses symbolism to emphasise the nature of
conflict…’ etc etc).

More points to address below.

Can you please resubmit? MJ

Romeo and Juliet is a play by William Shakespeare that, despite being

centuries
old, is still famous and a significant aspect of literature present today. The
play offers audiences a powerful and enduring story that raises many questions
still relatable in today’s society, such as the importance of love and the
nature of family relationships and its consequences. Shakespeare’s play
contains and portrays three main themes that help in making the rather out
dated play worthy of present day audiences.  The three main themes are love,
individualism and conflicts between parents and their children.

Look at the text in red: can you see you have introduced supporting points
twice – and they are different. I think you need to kill the first sentence in red.

The idea of love has been a timeless and universal theme, and is perhaps the
most well-known aspect of Shakespeare’s play. Romeo and Juliet is considered
to be one, if not the most famous and well-known love story in English
literature, and a potential reason for this would be because of its powerful
depiction of love. It focuses mainly on the romance between two young noble
teenagers from the corresponding feuding households, the Montagues and the
Capulets. Romeo and Juliet fall in love at a party hosted by the Capulets.
Despite learning of each other’s positions in opposing families, they
continually pursue each other  and were willing to go to extremes to be with
one another. This can be seen throughout many scenes throughout the play,
such
as the plan Juliet hatched with Friar Lawrence. In order to be with her true
love, she was willing to trick her own family and friends into believing she
had passed away, only to be in a deep sleep and awaken once buried to find
Romeo. Another example of their extreme love, shown by Romeo, was the act
of
suicide when seeing what he thought was his true love, lying dead. He had
bought poison in order to commit suicide, and gave his own life in on order to
be with Juliet. The theme of love correlates to individualism that is evident
throughout the play.

Individualism is evident throughout Shakespeare’s play, and is explored

through the depiction of separate scenarios that convey different ideas of
individualism. Throughout the play, individualism is present throughout many
scenes such as when Mercutio challenges Tybalt to a fight, and also the fact
that Romeo and Juliet decided to be married, despite their feuding households.
At the opening scene of Act 3, Romeo and his friends are confronted by an
angry
group of Capulets, who knew they had crashed the Capulet party. With tempers
heating up, Mercutio ultimately challenged Tybalt to a fight. It can be seen
that the Capulets, especially Tybalt, possesses the individualism factor here,
as he is extremely angry at how his family’s party had been technically
invaded by members of an feuding family. Individualism is conveyed as soon
as
Tybalt emerges in the scene, confronting the Montagues about it. Of course,
Tybalt was fine with accepting Mercutio’s challenge, as it seemed like he
would be fighting for emphasis on his family. Individualism can also be
conveys
when the audience discovers that Romeo and Juliet still decide they want to
marry, despite the living in corresponding feuding households. This act of
individuality reveals that they are both wilful and passionate about their
love, and will go through social and political issues to be with one another.
The individuals are tough enough to maintain their love for each other and to
be ignorant the drama that continues.

Can we have a quick chat about ‘individualism’? I’m not sure I understand how
your examples in the first half of this paragraph relate to this concept.

Also, you have made no mention here of whether ‘individualism’ is relevant to

today’s audience.

The concept of conflicts with parents is a natural occurrence throughout the

current world and one that is depicted throughout some scenes of the play. The
most obvious one would have to be the conflict Juliet and her dad go through,
as he, the father of the household, wants to decide who will marry her.
Juliet’s dad telling her that she is going to marry the Prince is a
significant section of the play as it depicts how Juliet does not want to be
controlled by her family, and has a mind and decisions of her own. This scene
most strongly represents Juliet’s idea of being herself and doing what she
wants, rather than being ruled by someone like her father. These moments are
the cause of the conflicts conveyed in the play, and the disagreements in the
play have major consequences, such as death, the other clear depiction of
conflict between parents and their children. The importance of love and family
relationships are what can cause these consequences, as the conclusion of the
play ends with the death of two young teenagers who just wanted privacy and
love, but instead were blocked up with catastrophic family ordeals and
unnecessary disputes and fights.
In conclusion, Romeo and Juliet has effectively offered audiences enduring and
powerful concepts that raise questions about the importance of love and family
relationships. Themes and ideas such as love, individualism, conflicts and
consequences are present throughout Shakespeare’s play, and are utilised
together for powerful messages and ideas still relatable to the world and
society thriving centuries after its production.

Bovan Lin 10 English 3