A Duck's Tale-Rousseau-2col

“A Duck’s Tale”
Written by Scott Rousseau

copyright 1998, 2014 by Scott Rousseau
All Rights Reserved. Go to www.theaterfunscripts.com for performance rights details.
Or: Contact Scott Rousseau at 404-502-5868 for performance rights. Royalties on request.
Character Breakdown
Actor 1 - Papa Bear, Cop 2, Witch 3, Tailor 2.
Actor 2 - King , Baby Bear, Cop 1.
Actor 3 - Wolf/Grandmother, Witch 1, Tailor 1.
Actress 1 - Munchkin 1, Cop 3, Witch 2.
Actress 2 - Queen, Munchkin 2, Old Woman, Cheshire Cat.
Actress 3 - Mrs. Duckling/Gladys, Mama Bear, Sleeping Beauty.
Acarius - The Ugly Duckling (Frog)

“A Duck’s Tale” ©2014 Scott Rousseau Go to www.theaterfunscripts.com for performance license. 2
“A Duck’s Tale”
Written by Scott Rousseau
copyright 1998, 2014 by Scott Rousseau
All Rights Reserved. Go to www.theaterfunscripts.com for performance rights details.
Or: Contact Scott Rousseau at 404-502-5868 for performance rights. Royalties on request.
(All of the cast are in duck hats and are
circled around Gladys as lights come up. (She exits)
There is great excitement amidst a lot of
ooohing and aahhhing, for you see, Gladys’ (Sleeping Beauty enters opposite and
egg is being hatched. We then hear scene picks up)
cracking and then a huge pop, and finally a
baby cry. All exclaim excitedly and Sleeping Beauty
separate and we see Gladys holding a But Maaa, I didn’t want a sewing kit! How
swaddling babe with a beak sticking out of dull! I wanted the new Medieval Barbie.
the blanket.) She comes with her own magic sword!
Gladys
This is a proud day for duckdom. Queen
You’ll like it! And you’ll USE it!
A Duck Besides...you’re too old for dolls. You’re
How about a peek at the little scuffer. sixteen now, Beauty.
(Mrs. Duckling pulls back the blanket for Sleeping Beauty

only the other ducks to see) But Mom! I wanted the new medieval
Barbie!
ALL
EWWWWWWWW. King (entering)
Hello my queen. How’s our little tulip
Another Duck blossom?
Now there’s one ugly duckling!
Queen
Gladys Hello, my royal honey bunny. It seems our
Excuse me? daughter doesn’t like our gift to her.
Yet Another Duck Sleeping Beauty

Whoa! I’ve seen some ugly ducks in my I can’t believe you’d give me this stupid
time, but this one takes the cake! sewing kit for my 16th birthday. What
kind of present is that? Look! (she opens
Gladys the kit, pulling out various items) Thread,
What? Well! I’ve never been so insulted. measuring tapes, needles...OW! (she has
All of you leave my house at once! (They pricked her finger on the needle. She
all leave laughing and quacking. She talks looks up for a second… then falls flat on
to her baby) My poor baby duckling. How the ground into a deep sleep.)
dare they talk that way. They just don’t
know the truth, do they? (noticing the Queen (deadpan)
audience). Oh! When did you get here? Oh no. The curse. I totally forgot about it.
You’re not going to make fun of my baby
as well, are you? Well are you?(She lets King
them respond) I must be off, now. It’s You mean the witch’s curse? But that was
feeding time and I want him to grow up sixteen long years ago!
big and strong. (to baby) I think I’ll name Boy! Don’t send an invitation to a birth
you....Acarius. Yes. Acarius. Such a unique and you pay for it for years! Look at her.
name for such a unique ...er..duck. Acarius, She’s out like a … candle. What do we do
welcome to the world. now?
let others get in your way. Go your OWN

Queen way, you understand? Now get cleaned
It’s all my fault! I should have invited that up. I’m going to get lunch ready. (she
witch to Beauty’s christening. I am selling exits)
this sewing kit right away.
Acarius
King (glumly) Oh yeah. I understand. Suure.
Our poor, sleeping beauty. I’m going to What - EVER! Say...you know what? I
take her to the Castle of Thorns. This way, think I WILL go my own way. There must
no one will bother her while she be SOME place I can go to get away from
slumbers. all the backbiting and name-calling. I
know! I’ll go to Hollywood! (he exits)
(They drag her by the foot)
(The King and Queen enter.)
Gladys
(seeing audience) Oh, hello there again! Queen
Have you seen my little Acarius? He was Oh Kingy-poo? Is she safe?
just playing over here somewhere. You
should see him! He’s growing so quickly. King
And he’s the best swimmer of all the Don’t worry, mother. She’ll be fine. I have
ducks in the pond. Before you know Beauty hidden in the Castle of Thorns. No
it...he’ll be in the Olympics! Imagine! one will EVER find her.
Acarius Duck, gold medal swimmer! He’ll
be a regular Michael Phelps. (to kids) Do Queen
you know who Michael Phelps is? You How do we explain this to the kingdom?
don’t? He was a real cutie, that’s for sure!
He won the most medals… King
We’ll just tell them we sent her off to
Acarius (entering) college. No one will be the wiser.
Mom! Mom! The other ducklings are
laughing at me! Why are they making fun Queen
of me, Mama? I’m a pretty duck. (gulp) Great! We’ll tell them we sent her to
Ain’t I? (insert your favorite local college)
Gladys King (while exiting)

Welllll, your not exactly duck material, Ooo! Go (names mascot from said
but I think your cute as a bug. college)!
Acarius (They are gone. We now see the Wolf

Um. A bug? Uh…How cute is that? rolling in his “bed” and places it. He then
gets in the bed.)
Gladys
Cute enough. Now listen to me, child.
You’re a unique duck. Don’t let others get Wolf
to you. You have many hidden talents. I sure hope Red Riding Hood gets here
That’s what is truly important. All this soon. I am starved! Wait! I hear a sound!
backbiting and name-calling is just (to kids) Now don’t say a word or you’ll
jealousy on their parts. Take no mind of it. spoil the fairy tale.
You be strong! Do your own thing. Don’t
(Enter Acarius, with a bundle on a stick) Acarius

I think we’ve established this already.
Acarius
(singing) Hooray for Hollywood! That Wolf
screwy ballyhooey Hollywood! Oh look! A Well now you’ve done it. You’ve messed
cottage. I think I’ll stop for a sody pop. up our fairy tale.
Hellooo in there!
Hunter
Grandmother (Wolf) Good going, Ace. Now we have to start all
Why the better to ….Hey! You’re not red over. Now get back to your OWN fairy
riding hood! tale. And stop messing around in other
people’s stories. Got it?
Acarius
Well, you’re no Angelina Jolie yourself! Acarius
My! What big eyes you have. Sorr-RY! (The Hunter and Wolf roll bed
off complaining and grumbling) Jeez!
Grandmother What a grouch! All I wanted was a sody
Um, oh…The better to see you with, my pop.
dear.
(at this point, two munchkins enter)
Acarius
And my! What big ears you have! 2 Munchkins
Oh look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a
Grandmother plane!
The better to hear you with, my dear.
Acarius
Acarius It’s a house.
This is becoming awfully familiar.
(They watch the house [offstage
Grandmother somewhere] as it drops we hear a loud
(as wolf) Just ask the questions. crash)
Acarius Witch 1
And my! What big teeth you have! (from Offstage) Holy crow! THAT’S gonna
leave a mark.
Grandmother (enters)
The better to EAT you with my dear! Who killed my sister?
(Enter, the HUNTER) Acarius

A house. A “what” killed your sister.
Hunter
Don’t touch her, loathsome wolf! Witch 1
Was it you? (pointing to the duck)
Acarius
Him. I’m a “him.” Acarius
(tapping imaginary mic) Testing. Testing.
Hunter A house killed your sister.
You’re not red riding hood?
Witch 1
Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

(They exit. Acarius runs on from the other
Acarius side)
Who? Me? I’m not a witch at all!
Acarius
2 Munchkins Ooooo! I have to hide! Quick! Someone
It was him! It was him! hide me! (He runs into the audience)
Acarius (to Munchkins) Witch

Can you say “Liar, liar, tiny pants on fire”? (entering)
Looook! Children! So. Have any of you
Munchkin 1 seen a duck? (she goes into the audience)
Dang buster. You are one ugly duck. Here ducky ducky! Heeeeere ducky! (to a
child) Where’s he hiding? (if the child
Munchkin 2 reveals the spot she says:)Good! For
Do we have ducks in Oz? telling me the truth I will turn you into a
prince/princess!
Acarius
Wake up, tiny breath. I don’t think you’re Meka leka hi, Meka leka lee
in Oz anymore. Turn this little kiddy into a
prince/princess to be!
Witch 1 (nothing happens)
No. The saying is “I don’t think we’re in
KANSAS anymore. Witch 1 (con’t)
(If the child does NOT reveal the spot, she
Acarius says:) Oh. So THAT’S how it’s gonna be. I
Well, to tell the truth, you’re not in either guess I’ll have to turn you into a frog,
one. You’re in Fairy tale land. then.
Witch 1 and Munchkins Meka-leka high meka ho ho hog.

What? Turn this little creature to a slimy ole
frog!
Munchkin 1
That stupid tornado! (after either spell doesn’t work)
That ugly duck was right! I DON’T have
Munchkin 2 power here! Now we’ll NEVER get this
Must have blown us over here. mess straightened out. I am reporting this
to the authorities. (she exits)
Witch 1 (to Acarius)
This is all YOUR fault. Now the story is all Acarius
goofed up. I’ll get you my pretty! Whew, that was close. And I thought I was
ugly. Brrrr. What a nasty day I’m having.
Acarius Goofing up stories left and right. And not
Begone. You have no power here. pretty to boot. What am I going to do?
(let/elicit kids response) Those are all
Witch 1 good ideas. You know what? I think I’ll try
Try me! (she cackles wildly and whacks a to find some food first. I’m starving! Oh
spell at Acarius. He reacts. Again. He look! Over there! Another cottage. I think
jumps, then they both run off stage.)
I’ll go ask for some help. There’s no harm (We hear a loud snore from offstage, then
in that, now is there? a belch)
(He exits and a table is rolled on with Mama Bear

three bowls. We hear Acarius from Excuse yourself, Daddy.
offstage)
Papa Bear
Yoo hoooo! Anybody home? Helloooooo! That wasn’t me.
(He enters) I hate to burst in on you like
this but...(notices no one is home) Hello? Mama Bear
Hm. No one here. But look! (pointing to (to Baby)
table) Porridge! I LOVE porridge!(He Excuse yourself, son.
crosses to the table, where there are three
bowls. He tastes the first porridge.) This Baby Bear
porridge is toooo hot. (To the next bowl) May I be excused?
This porridge is toooo cold! (To the next
porridge) Oh look! Corn flakes! (He (There is another loud snore and belch)
greedily gobbles them up then yawns a
big one). Goodness, I am exhausted! (does All bears
a take to the audience) Do you think there A stranger!
might be a bed around here? (He wriggles (they run off in the direction of the snore.
his eyebrows, then exits off. He talks from We hear a loud cacophony, then much
off stage) This bed is tooo big! Toooo quacking. Acarius runs onstage.)
small! Juuuust right! (he immediately
snores) Acarius
Not again! (He runs through the audience
(The three bears enter immediately hiding from the bears. We hear chase
singing “Zip a dee doo dah”. They notice music under. Confusion ensues. The duck
the bowls) escapes. The bears end up onstage.)
Papa Bear Mama Bear

Someone’s been eating my porridge! Now where did he go?
Mama Bear Papa Bear

Someone’s been eating MY porridge. We lost him.
(They both look, expectantly, at baby Baby bear

bear) Does this mean we can go to McDonald’s
now?
Baby Bear
What? Mama and Papa Bear
Did somebody say McDonald’s?
Mama and Papa Bear
Well? (they exit, singing the “Two all beef
pattys” thing)
Baby Bear
Oh. Uh. Ditto. (Acarius enters)
Acarius
I am NOT having a good day here. Acarius

(deadpan) Oh look. A Tower surrounded (mimics her in that memememe high
by thorns. Gosh. What could this be? pitched mumbling sort of way).
(He exits. A table with the sleeping Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty is seen) We don’t have to get ugly about it.
(Acarius enters and sees the table)
Acarius
Acarius (points to his face) Too late!
Oh great. A sleeping princess. Gosh! She is
a beauty. I wish I were that beautiful. Sleeping Beauty
What I would do to be as pretty as she. I Look. Maybe if I kiss you, you might turn
wonder why she’s asleep? (HE snaps into a handsome prince. What do you
fingers over her and tries to wake her. think?
Then he realizes!) It’s a spell! She’s under
a spell! Oh no. Now THIS is a fine can of Acarius
worms. (to audience) What should I do? Ohhhhh, I don’t know. I’ve goofed up e-
NOUGH stories today.
(HE takes suggestions from audience.
Acarius might suggest he kiss her to break Sleeping Beauty
the spell after other suggestions are Awww, come on. It couldn’t hurt. It’s just
made.) a kiss.
Acarius Acarius
I think I’ll try the kiss thing. (smugly) It Do you know how many GERMS there are
couldn’t hurt! in one kiss. Gross me out.
(HE kisses the sleeping Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping Beauty

There are lighting effects and she sits up, Oh, for goodness sake, just come here and
yawns, sees Acarius, then:) let me kiss you, the story has to come out
right!
Sleeping Beauty
Oh! Acarius
No! No! No kissing! Kissing is gooshy
Acarius stuff! Nooooooo! And besides. I never kiss
Ugly. Right. Don’t waste your wind. on a first date.
Sleeping Beauty (She finally grabs and kisses the duck. All
Whew. You’re one ugly duck. of a sudden there is flashing of lights, we
hear thunder, then a blackout. When the
Acarius lights come back up Acarius has turned
I saaaid… don’t waste… never mind. You into a frog)
were expecting a handsome prince,
maybe? Acarius
Ribit
Sleeping Beauty
Well. That IS how the story goes, but I Sleeping Beauty
didn’t expect a duck. Um…
Acarius Worms are nasty and icky. Period.

Well NOW you’ve done it.
Acarius
Sleeping Beauty No. You just think they’re nasty and icky
Oh dear! A frog. Look what you’ve done! because they’re different from you. But
worms can be very nice and friendly. And
Acarius they’re dee-licious. You don’t know
What I’VE done! You were the one forcing anything about beauty.
kisses on me! (imitating her) Ohhhh, it’s
just one kiss. Oh ducky..(back to his own Sleeping Beauty
voice) but noooooo! You HAD to kiss me! You think worms are beautiful?
You just couldn't resist! A fine mess
you’ve gotten us into, Miss Sleeping Acarius
Booger. So what do we do NOW your (very matter of fact) It allll depends on
pucker’dness? how you look at it.
Sleeping Beauty
I have no idea. Maybe reenact Beauty and Sleeping Beauty
the Beast? I never thought of it that way.
Acarius Acarius
That… was cold. You are just And besides. I think I’m a pretty
overwhelming my self-esteem here. I handsome frog here.
think you need to step back and put
everything in perspective here. After all, it Sleeping Beauty
was your idea to kiss me in the first place Right.
Sleeping Beauty (From offstage, we hear a woman yelling.)

I was only trying to help. Wasn’t I,
children? Old Woman
Children! Children! It’s story time!
(She lets them respond)
Sleeping Beauty
(to frog...er duck) Who can that be?
At least I didn’t turn you into something
REALLY nasty. Acarius
Let’s go see.
Acarius
What could be worse than a frog? (They exit. The Old Woman enters with
her chair)
Oh! Here you are. (She sets her chair
Sleeping Beauty down, then picks about six kids from the
Well, I could have turned you into a worm audience to come up on the stage.)
or something.
Old Woman
Acarius Hello. Welcome to my shoe! My kids are
Worms are cute! How can you say that? out playing basketball and I have this
great story I want to tell. They’re just too
Sleeping Beauty
busy for a poor mother like me. Maybe that story...well it’s just isn’t going that
you all would you like to hear it? way at all.
(She gets the kids to answer) Old Woman

Wait a minute. You’re a duck?
Good. Have any of you heard the story of
the Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Acarius
Anderson? Quack.
(If any of the children respond, she ad libs Old Woman

with them) But you look like a frog.
Good! Good. Now here’s how the story
goes. Once upon a time, there was a Mama Acarius
Duck who gave birth to an Ugly Duckling. Duh. Thus the problem. Sleeping Dummy
The other ducks hated the little duck and here kissed me and poof, zap, ribit!
drove him off from the meadow. He came
upon two geese, who decided to take the Sleeping Beauty
poor duckling in, but a hunter came along (understated) I was only trying to be
and decided they were lunch meat. helpful.
(Acarius enters about this time and
eavesdrops on the story) Then, the duck Old Woman
then came across an old woman with her Oh dear. Children? What should we do?
cat and hen, but soon, he was chased off
by them, too, because he couldn’t lay eggs. (She takes suggestions from the kids,
A year had passed and just as winter was then:)
at its worst and the duckling was almost I know! I’ll call the fairy tale patrol and
frozen into a ducksicle, a peasant woman see if they can’t get this mess straightened
saved him. But soon he left there, too, up.
because her children continued making (She pulls a shoe out of her apron and
fun of him. It was about this time that the makes a call on it)
duckling noticed some swans by a lake.
He decided to try and befriend them. As Acarius
the beautiful swans gathered around him Fairy Tale Patrol? Is there such a thing?
he noticed his reflection in the water and
discovered that he was not an ugly Old Woman
duckling at all, but a beautiful swan, and Hello. Fairy Tale patrol? Ugly Duckling
they all lived happily ever after. Alert. Story gone haywire. We need help
fast! Thanks! (she puts the shoe away)
Acarius They’re on their way.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Is THAT how the story
goes? Acarius
On their way?
Old Woman
Excuse me? (The Fairy-Tale patrol shows up ala
Keystone Cops. They speak very deadpan,
Acarius like private detectives. Very
Well, you see, I’m the Ugly Duckling and “professional”)
I’m kinda new to all this. But according to
Cop 1 Gotta find the witch that did this.

What’s the problem?
Cop 2
Cop 2 Only way to reverse the spell.
We got a 911 on a 276 about a 799 in
progress. Cop 3
Get in the truck.
Cop 3
Where’s the duck? Acarius
There is no truck.
Acarius
Duck here. Cop 3
We’re the Fairy tale patrol. Pretend.
Cop 3
Uh oh. We’ve got a definite 799 here. Acarius
Gotcha.
Acarius
799? (They mime getting into the truck and
take off)
Cop 3
Transmorphotation of a fairy tale animal.
Happens all the time. Old Woman
Ah. Technology. An imaginary truck. What
Sleeping Beauty will they think of next. Mm.mm.mm. Okay
Transmowhat? children, back to your seats. Thank you
for listening to the story. (looking where
Acarius “truck” exited) I do hope they get that frog
Big word. Little brain. And to think, I thing straightened out. (she exits)
wanted to be just like you.
(The Fairy Tale Cop 1 herds three witches
Cop 1 in, along with ugly the frog and the
Transmorphotation. Duck turns to frog. Sleeping Beauty)
Cop 3 Cop
Who kissed you? Okay...keep’er moving. Time is money.
Now. Which witch will start first.
Sleeping Beauty
I did. Dorothy’s Witch (1)
First Witch!
Cop 2
You’ll need to come with us. Rapunzel’s Witch (2)
I want to be first witch.
Cop 1
We need details. Sleeping Beauty’s Witch (3)
You ALWAYS get to be the first witch!
Sleeping Beauty
What are you gonna do? Witch 2
I do not.
Cop 1
Cop Acarius
Alright. Which witch is which? Oh. There’s a surprise.
(All three witches reply at the same time) Witch 3

Look buster, I only did it because the
Alright. Alright. One at a time. story says I have to. Witches aren’t all
(points to Witch 1) Who are you? bad, ya know.
Witch 1 Witch 2
I’m Dorothy’s witch. Yeah. Just because we’re not the prettiest
in the land, doesn't mean we’re bad.
Cop
Which witch is that? Witch 1
We like to think we have a witchy kind of
Witch 1 beauty!
You know, (very matter of factly) I'll get
you my pretty, give me those slippers, (All witches agree)
Scarecrow wanna play ball...
Cop
Cop Okay. OKAY! Enough. Well, Witch...we are
Right. The Wicked Witch of the East. in a bit of a bind here. Mr. Duck here
kissed your Sleeping Beauty by accident...
Witch 1
West. Witch 3
You WHAT?
Cop
West. Wight. er Right. You? Acarius
(pointing to Witch 2) I couldn’t help it!
Witch 2 Witch 3
I’m Rapunzel’s witch. “Rapunzel, You’ve goofed up my story!
Rapunzel, let down your...”
Cop Witch 1
Got it, lady. You? (pointing to Witch 3) Turn him into a frog!
Witch 3 Acarius
Yo! I am Sleeping Beauty’s witch. Too late.
(to the Sleeping Beauty) Who woke you
up? The prince doesn’t get to your hiding Witch 2
place for at least a week. Serves you right.
Sleeping Beauty Cop

Long story. Smooch, poof ribit. Later. LADIES! Please. We must handle this in an
orderly fashion. Mr. Duck?
Cop
Ah HA! So YOU’RE the witch that placed Acarius
Sleeping Whasis here under a spell.
Well, she kissed me, thinking I would be a This is insane.

prince, so that the story would turn out
alright, but I turned into a frog instead. Witch 3
Okay. We have decided that I should
Witch 1 remove the spell.
Burn him!!!!
(All cheer)
All witches
Yes! Yes! Burn him! BUT! First, Sleeping Hooha has to go back
into the deep sleep, and frogman here has
Acarius to get three items.
Okay, spell heads. You don’t burn frogs.
You burn witches. Acarius
Three items?
Witches
Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh! Witch 3
Yes. Three items. First. The needle that
Cop put the Sleeping Beauty to sleep.
QUIET! QUIET! Now calm down before
someone drops a house on ya. Sleeping Beauty
You have GOT to be kidding.
(All witches look cautiously skyward)
Witch 3
Now. Ms. Witch. Second! A swan feather.
All Witches Acarius

Yes? Now where am I going to get a swan
feather???
Cop
No. Sleeping Beauty Witch. I need you to Witch 3
reverse the spell. A swan. Third! A cat’s whisker.
Acarius and Sleeping Beauty

Witch 3 A Cat’s whisker? Where are we going to…
Oh really. And why should I? (they stop and look at witch)
Sleeping Beauty Witch 3

If you don’t reverse the spell, the stories Really? (beat) Bring me these items, and I
will all come out wrong! Children, don’t can lift the spell. If you do NOT bring
you think she should reverse the spell? these, I’m afraid all of Fairy taledom will
be lost. (to other witches) Witches chant!
(They respond)
All witches
Witch 3 Meka Leka Hiiii!
Ohhhhhh. Witches! Huddle! Meka Leka Hoooo!
Find the magic items
(The three witches huddle to discuss) and the spell will goooooo!
Acarius
(There is a great thunder, and lights flash. Sleeping Beauty

We hear all the witches cackle as they exit Hey Mom!
the stage.)
Queen
Sleeping Beauty Oh woooe is me, what shall I …what are
People come and go so quickly here. you doing here? You’re supposed to be
asleep!
Cop
Wrong story, lady. Okay folks. You got Sleeping Beauty
your work cut out for you. Meet back here Yeah. Well, I kinda goofed things up.
at the station when you get all the items.
And the sooner the better. Acarius
Now, now. It wasn’t ALL your fault. It was
(The cop exits) actually my fault. If I’d followed my OWN
fairy tale, then maybe this...
Acarius
Come on Sleepyhead. Time to do a little Queen
searching. What is going on? And who are YOU?
Sleeping Beauty Acarius

Well I KNOW where we can get the I’m the ugly duckling.
needle.
Queen
Acarius Well THAT’S no secret. (she chuckles)
You do?
Sleeping Beauty
Sleeping Beauty Long story. Listen, ma, do you still have
Yep. Mom got me this sewing kit for my my sewing kit?
birthday. That’s how all this trouble
started. Queen
(They start to exit) No. I couldn’t bear the pain of being at
fault for the curse, so your father sold it.
Acarius
(as they are leaving) Acarius
She got you a SEWING KIT for your We are in trouble!
birthday? Shut up!
Sleeping Beauty
Sleeping Beauty Sold it? To who? That was MY sewing kit.
I know. Could ya die?
Queen
(They are gone) Well you sure didn’t act like you wanted
it, and what with the guilt and all...
Queen
Ohhhh! Woe is meeee! My poor daughter! Sleeping Beauty
My poor, poor daughter! Asleep! All Who did he sell it to?
because of a stupid curse. Ohhhhhh...oh!
Queen
(Sleeping Beauty and Acarius enter) A couple of tailors. They were on their
way to an emperor of some sort and were
planning on making some clothes or removable. Acarius and Sleeping Beauty

something. They tried to show me the enter)
fabric they were using, but personally, I
never could see the darn stuff. They said it Sleeping Beauty
could only be seen by Goodness! It got dark sooo fast.
(sarcastically)“people of refinement.”
(beat) I told them it was fabulous. Cheshire Cat
Alice? (He has turned around so we can
Sleeping Beauty see the grin/eyes/whiskers)
You lied to them?
Sleeping Beauty
Queen Excuse me?
I didn’t want them to think I wasn’t
refined enough to see the fabric. Cheshire Cat
Aren’t you Alice? In Wonderland?
Sleeping Beauty
Oh really, mother. You’re the only royal Sleeping Beauty
family in a double wide castle. What did Well, I’m in wonderland alright, but I’m
you expect? Now, about these clothes. not Alice and...wait. Who said that?
They were making the Emperor’s new
clothes? Cheshire Cat
(Quickly reveals himself, then turns back
Queen around) Me!
Right! New clothes.
Sleeping Beauty
Sleeping Beauty Oh!
We are getting far too many fairy tales
involved in this three ring circus. We’ve Acarius
got to find them before something ELSE I don’t like this. Not one bit.
happens! Come on, frog!
Cheshire Cat
Acarius Who are you?
Duck.
Acarius
Sleeping Beauty I was just going to ask you the same thing.
Whatever. Where are you?
Cheshire Cat
(They all exit) Over here! (The actor turns around, We
see the grin/eyes/whiskers again but in a
Cheshire Cat(offstage) different area.)
Tweedly Deedly, piddly pout
It’s time! It’s time for the lights to go out! Sleeping Beauty
Goodness you’re hard to spot. I am
(Blackout. In the darkness, we see the Sleeping Beauty and this is Ugly Frog.
eyes, whiskers, and grin of the Cheshire
Cat. This should actually be done with Acarius
blacklights. The face of the cat is painted Duckling.
onto an actor in black. The whiskers are
on a partial mask and one should be Sleeping Beauty
Duckling. (under her breath) Sorr-rry. If I sacrifice a sacred whisker, what will
you do for me?
Cheshire Cat
Well hello! I am the Cheshire Cat. What Acarius
are you doing in wonderland? Uhhh, well....we’ll uh...we’ll LOVE you!
Acarius Sleeping Beauty

We’re hunting for some objects. Right! Forever!
Cheshire cat Cheshire Cat

Objects? Realllly? Well, maybe I can help. Hooooow sweet. Get real. Listen up,
What are you looking for. I LOVE to hunt. teabrains. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. If you
get me a twig of catnip from the cat-tail
Sleeping Beauty tree, I’ll give you the whisker. Deal?
Well, a needle for one.
Acarius
Acarius The Cat-Tail tree? Where the heck is that?
A Swan feather. And...
Cheshire Cat
Sleeping Beauty and Acarius It grown only in one place. Meadow Pond.
(realizing, then slyly) By the duckyard. Get me a twig, and the
A cat’s whisker. whisker you’ll have!
Cheshire Cat Sleeping Beauty

A Cat’s Whisker? It’s as good as done!

Oh please, Cheshire Cat. If you would be Wait, wait, wait. The Duckyard?
so kind...
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat That’s right!
Whoa... slow down there Sleepella. Just
because I’m a cat, doesn’t mean you can Sleeping Beauty
just rip a whisker from my face. These You should know ALL about the
whiskers are not easy to come by. Why Duckyard.
would you possibly need a Whisker?
Acarius
Acarius That’s the problem. I just can’t go back
Well there’s this spell, ya see. And this there. I was running away from there.
witch sent us on this hunt for...
Cheshire Cat
Cheshire Cat If you want the spell broken, that’s what
Ahhhh...the old “reverse the spell” routine. you’ll do!
Sleeping Beauty Sleeping Beauty

Yes! Yes! That’s it! Oh, froggy...
Cheshire Cat Acarius

DUCKY.
Sleeping Beauty Gladys

Ducky, we have to put everything back. Who’s the girl? You didn’t tell me you had
You heard the witches. a girlfriend.
Acarius Acarius
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhalright! She’s not my girlfriend. Mom, listen I
need...
Cheshire Cat
Tweedle loo and tweedle light Gladys
Let the darkness turn to bright! Dating a girl, and you can’t even tell your
own mother?
(He is gone. Lights flicker and back on)
Sleeping Beauty
Acarius Mrs. Duck. We are not dating. I’m Sleeping
He’s gone! Beauty and I accidentally put this spell on
your son.
Sleeping Beauty
We’ve got to get that catnip! Come on! Gladys
A spell? How did that happen?
(They exit. Gladys Duck enters. Lighting
change) Sleeping Beauty
Well, when he kissed me and woke me up,
Gladys I kissed him back and...
Ohhhh. Woe is me. My poor boy. My poor,
poor boy. Taunted by the other ducks. Gladys
Run off for Hollywood. It’s all my fault. Not dating? You kissed...NOT DATING? Do
you KNOW how many GERMS there are in
(Acarius and Sleeping Beauty enter) a kiss?
Acarius Sleeping Beauty

Hey Mom! (to Acarius)
The Germ thing.
Gladys
Son!...Son? Acarius
Toldja.
Acarius
I’m a frog. Long story. Listen, I need to get Gladys
a twig of catnip from the Cat-Tail tree. Son. What have I told you about talking to
strangers! Let alone KISSING them!
Gladys
You’re a frog! Acarius
I know, Ma. I’m sorry, but we have to get
Acarius that...
(to audience member) Did I NOT just say
that? (to Gladys) Gladys
Mom. I need your help. I need to get that You never listen. Now see what’s
catnip or I’ll remain a frog forever and all happened? Magic spells. Strange women.
of FairyTale Land will be doomed. Doomed Fairy Tales.
Thank you!
Acarius
But she was so pretty. And she seemed so (SHE exits. Gladys comes back)
sweet. I just wanted to be like her. She’s
so beautiful. Gladys
Here’s your catnip, son. Where’s Sleeping
Gladys Whoosis?
Son, beauty is an inner thing. Beauty
should not be judged by what’s outside. Acarius
Many animals are beautiful, but She went in search of another article we
dangerous. It’s what’s inside that makes a need. I have to go find a swan feather.
person beautiful. Don’t ever forget that.
Gladys
Acarius Swan feather? I’m afraid the swans are all
I won’t, Mama. gone for the winter.

That’s so wonderful, Mrs. Duck. Thank What will I do? I HAVE to have that
you. feather to break this stupid spell.
Gladys Gladys
(graciously) You’re most certainly I would check near Swan Lake. There’s
welcome. Now, about that catnip. I’ll have bound to be a feather or two laying
to get it. You’re too small to reach it, son. around.
Acarius Acarius
Oh, thank you, Mama. Swan Lake? Where’s that?
(She exits)
We’ve as good as got it. But we still have Gladys
to get the swan feather and the needle. I It’s the next Lake over past Sleepy Hollow
think we should split up. You get the and just before the OZ borderline next to
needle. I’ll go for the feather. Okay? Chili’s.

Where shall we meet? How in the world did you find it?
Acarius Gladys
I’ll meet you at the fairy patrol station. All I got carried by the wind during that huge
the objects in hand. If you get there first, tornado. I saw this swan in trouble, so I
wait for me. helped her move her eggs to protect them.
If I had arrived any later, it would have
Sleeping Beauty been omelet city. Remind me to tell you
Check! See you there. Soon, I hope. the muggawump story someday.
Acarius Acarius
Me, too. Ya know, you’re really not too Muggawump story? What is a
bad...for a girl. muggawump?
Sleeping Beauty Gladys

Later! Now get going! Tailor 1

Helllooo Sleeping Beauty!
Acarius
Oh. Alright then. I’ll go over there and see Sleeping Beauty
what I can find. Uh...hello.
Gladys Tailor 2
Good luck son! (He exits) And don’t kiss Have you seen our beautiful fabric?
anymore strangers!!!
(to audience) Can you imagine? Kissing Tailor 1
strangers? Not good. Don’t YOU go kissing We’ve made this for the emperor.
any strangers, OK? (No response)
OKayyy? Everyone say “I promise!”. Sleeping Beauty
Alright then, now, I must get to my chores. (aside, to audience) It’s the tailors! (to
tailors) Ohhhh! How beautiful.
(She exits. Two tailors enter, carrying
invisible cloth) Tailors
Oh thank you. Thank you so much. etc...
Tailor 1 Sleeping Beauty

Look! (to audience) We have the most (aside, to audience) I need some help to
exciting thing to show you. divert their attention. Who will help me?
Tailor 2 (She gets two volunteers from the

Absolutely. The most beautiful fabric of audience)
all.
Sleeping Beauty (con’t)
Tailor 1 Okay. Now, what you have to do is to keep
Only people with true refinement can see telling them how beautiful the fabric is.
it. And I will get the needle from them.
Tailor 2 (She sends the kids to the tailors. They

Isn’t it beautiful? take over the kids and talk to them about
the fabric. She gets the attention of Tailor
(They hold up invisible cloth for all to see) 1.)
Tailor 1 Sleeping Beauty

(to kid in audience) Hellllo Tailor!
So. What do you think? Isn’t it beautiful?
Tailor 1
(They ad lib with kids for a moment. Hello my beauty!
Enter, Sleeping Beauty)
Sleeping Beauty
Tailor 2 What fine needle did you use to sew that
Well helllooo nurse! (ala Anamaniacs) glorious fabric?
Sleeping Beauty Tailor 1

Who? Me? No, I’m Sleeping Beauty. (He pulls imaginary needle from lapel)
Why, this one, my fair lady.
Cat-nip, and Cat-sup, and Cat-amarans,

Sleeping Beauty and Cat-calls, and cat-tails, and...
May I see it?
(Acarius enters)
Tailor 1
Why certainly, my beauty. (He hands her Acarius
the needle. He is then distracted by the Mr. Caaaaat! Heeeere, kitty!
kids complimenting the fabric.)
Cheshire Cat
Sleeping Beauty (to audience) Ohhh goody! He’s here. (to
(aside) I’ll just replace it with this needle I Acarius)
got from my mother’s sewing box.(She View halllooooo!
pulls a needle from her dress and replaces
it with the one he gave her. She puts the Acarius
magic needle into her collar) Oh! Goodness, you scared me!
Sleeping Beauty (out loud) Cheshire Cat

My My! What a beautiful needle! Sorry. Nature of the job and all. Have you
got it?
Tailor 1
Oh thank you! Thank you indeed! Acarius
Yes! Yes!
Sleeping Beauty
Well, I must be off! Children? (She gathers Cheshire Cat
the kids and thanks them for helping and Oh joy! Let me have it!
sits them down) Thanks for your help,
children. And good luck, Tailors! Acarius
Ohhhhhno. I want the whisker first.
Tailor 2
No, no! Thank YOU! You busy Saturday Cheshire Cat
night? How do I know you’ll give me the catnip?
Sleeping Beauty
Sorry. I wash my hair that night. Another Acarius
time, maybe! Gotta run! Look. Frogs and Ducks don’t need catnip.
You’ll just have to trust me.
(She exits. The tailors exit the opposite
way. We hear the Cheshire Cat.) Cheshire Cat
Oh. I see. And you DON’T trust me?
Cheshire Cat
Tweedle deedle, trees and bark Acarius
Let the lightness turn to dark! Wellll, suuuure...but
(blacklight on, lights out) Cheshire Cat

No buts. Do you?
Cheshire Cat
Ohhhhhhhh I hope they got my catnip. I Acarius
love it so. (to audience) Don’t you love (truly deciding) Yes.
catnip? (they respond) Well I do! I love
Cheshire Cat
Thank you. That’s all I wanted to know. My mother mentioned them to me. What
Here’s your whisker. are they?
(He “plucks” a whisker from his face with Cheshire Cat

a small “ouch” and hands it to Acarius) They were made by the goddess of the
Catnip catnipcatnipcatnipcatniiiiiip! lake. She made them as guards over the
lake so no one could hurt the beautiful
Acarius swans.
(He hands the catnip to the cat)
Oh thank you! Thank you sooo much Acarius
Wow. They must be truly beautiful.
Cheshire Cat
Oh thank you! Thank you! Hey. Listen. I Cheshire Cat
was wondering. Would you be my friend? Oh, they are! You couldn’t possibly go to
You’re very helpful and trustworthy. the lake. They would get you for sure!
Acarius Acarius
You want to be friends with me? I’m so So what should I do?
ugly and all. Especially now that I’m a
frog. Cheshire Cat
Wellll, I can make myself invisible and
Cheshire Cat look for a feather for you.
I don’t think you’re ugly at all. Your trust
has made you very beautiful to me. I think Acarius
you’re very beautiful. You’d do that for me?
Acarius Cheshire Cat

You do? That’s what friends are for.
Cheshire Cat Acarius

Oh yes. Will you be my friend? You truly are a friend. Thank you.
Acarius Cheshire Cat

I will! I will be your friend. Thank you so Where shall we meet?
much.
Acarius
Cheshire Cat Meet me at the FairyTale Station.
Good. Now, how can I help you? Hopefully Sleeping Beauty will be there
and we can be finished with this whole
Acarius business.
Well, I need to find a swan feather, so I’m
going to Swan Lake. Cheshire Cat
Okay, my little friend. I’ll see you there.
Cheshire Cat Wish me luck!
Swan Lake? Oh, no. You can’t go there.
There are muggawumps there. Acarius
Good luck my friend!
Acarius
Cheshire Cat
Higgledy Piggledy, new found friend Sleeping Beauty

Let the darkness come to end. Oh, thank you! (beat) You know…You’re
not so bad for a witch.
(The lights come on and Cheshire Cat is
gone)
Witch
Acarius Calm down, blue eyes.
Oh! A new friend. I have a friend! How (Acarius enters excitedly)
wonderful! (he exits off happily, perhaps
skipping) Acarius
I have the whisker! I have it! I have it!
(Cop 1 enters with the Sleeping Beauty)
Sleeping Beauty
Cop 1 Wonderful! What about the feather?
So you say he went to get the whisker?
Acarius
The Cheshire Cat said he would get it for
Sleeping Beauty me! He said there were muggawumps at
That’s right. He should be here soon. Swan Lake and I shouldn’t go there, so he
went for me!
(The three witches enter)
Sleeping Beauty
Witch 1 How sweet of him!
So! Have you got them?
Witch 2
Witch 2 He went to Swan Lake? Only Swans are
Yes! Yes! The items three. Do you have allowed there!
them?
Witch 1
Sleeping Beauty If he goes to Swan Lake, no telling WHAT
We will soon. I’m waiting for the frog will happen!
now.
Witch 2
Witch 3 Muggawumps eat cats, too. Doesn’t he
What do you have? know that? They are the protectors of the
swans. If a cat so much as goes near that
Sleeping Beauty Lake, the muggawumps will surely get
I have the needle. He went to get the him.
whisker and the feather.
Witch 3
(Witch 3 takes the needle and examines it. Ohhhh, he has put himself in grave danger
She “spells” it to make sure it is correct. going there.
Something magical happens when she
does.) Acarius
No, no! You’ve got it all wrong. He can
Witch 3 make himself invisible!
It’s the correct needle. Good work, my
dear. Witch 2
Not at Swan Lake, he can’t. Nobody’s

magical powers work at the lake. The Witch 3
goddess has seen to it. Pendant Blue and Crystal White
Acarius (kids repeat)

He must not have known that. Then he
really IS in danger! Give to me the gift of sight
Sleeping Beauty (kids repeat)

Oh no! What should we do? Children?
What do you think we should do now? Vision me the Cheshire Cat
(She adlibs with audience) (kids repeat)
Witch 3 Show the when and where he’s at!

I know! A protection spell!
(The lights flicker and special effects.)
Witch 1
Yes! We could do a protection spell for Quick children! To your seats. The spell is
him. But I don’t know if our magic is any working.
good against the goddess of Swan Lake.
She’s very protective of those swans. As I (The pendant glows)
said, our powers...
Look! In the pendant.
Acarius (All cast gathers round)
Well try it at least! There he is! He’s on his way through the
Black Forest.
Witch 3 Witches! Get that spell going, he’s almost
Little huffy, aren’t we? Okay girls, you there!
two do a protection spell. I’ll summon the
powers of the Magic Eye Pendant so we Witches 1 and 2
can watch him. I need some children to do Bubble bubble witches trouble
the spell. Where will I get children? We need help, and on the double
Watch the cat from every side
Sleeping Beauty Spare his whisker, save his hide.
Why, there are some right out there, your
witchyness. (Lights start to flicker once more, then we
hear a “springing
Witch 3 boi-i-ing” sound. The spell has zonked. It
Children? (she sniffs) Ooooo. You’re right! does not work)
I need 4 children to do the spell.
Witch 1
(She gets four children from the audience Oh no. The spell doesn’t work.
with the help of the Sleeping Beauty)
Now. Everyone hold your hands over this Witch 2
magic pendant. Whatever I say, you need The Lake goddess is too strong!
to repeat it exactly. Understand?
Witch 1
(She pulls out the pendant and chants:)
Only a true swan can help your friend

now. Sleeping Beauty (to Acarius)
They must have thought you were a
Acarius swan! I’ll run and get one.
Oh no! Sleeping Beauty, do you know any
swans? (She runs off to get a feather)

I’m sorry, but I don’t! Hey witches, I heard this great joke. How
many witches does it take to screw in a
Witch 3 light bulb?
Oh no! He’s headed into the Lake
Meadow. (all run to gather round the Witch 1 and 3
pendant) Loook! The muggawumps are How many?
beginning to stir.
Witch 2
Acarius Three. One to screw in the bulb, and the
Watch out! Watch out! other two to turn it in to a frog!
Sleeping Beauty (All the witches cackle uproariously. No

What will we do? Oh no! one else reacts.)
(We hear the honking of swans, they all What? Bad joke?
look up)
Acarius
Cop 1 I guess it was a location joke.
Swans. They’re returning for Capistrano!
Cop 1 and Cop 2
Cop2 Had to be there.
Those were swallows.
Witch 2
Sleeping Beauty Oh. And this coming from the two
(shouting) “funniest” characters in this story. Not.
Hey swans! Hey! We need help!
Sleeping Beauty (entering)
Acarius We have all the items!
Help! Heeelp! Hoooooonk! (he honks like
a swan. They all turn to him in surprise) Acarius
My friend! What’ll we do about my friend!
Sleeping Beauty
How did you do that? Witch 3 (looking into pendant)
The muggawumps are closing in on him.
Acarius
I have no idea! Sleeping Beauty (entering)
Quick! Recast the sleeping spell. Maybe
Witch 2 that will put everything back to order!
Look! Over there. A flurry of Swan
feathers are falling from the flock! Look! Witch 3
(she is pointing offstage)
Good idea. Let’s try. (to Witch 2) Mildred! The muggawumps are heading toward
Take the pendant! him! Hurry!
All Witch 3
Mildred? Frog to Duck! Change his sight!
Do it! Cast it! Make it right!
Witch 2 Sleeping Beauty, Ugly Duck
It’s a secret. Anyone who says a word gets Cross your fingers! Wish them
their hiney zapped! (she takes the LUUUUUCK!
pendant and watches) Oh my, it’s getting
close. He’s near the Lake! (The spell is complete, the transformation
done. The lights come up and in place of
Witch 3 the frog is now a beautiful swan. Sleeping
Quick! Give me the items.(She takes the Beauty lies sleeping on the floor).
needle and the feather from the Sleeping
Beauty and the whisker from the frog. She Witches
threads the needle with the whisker and OOOOOOoooo!
begins to sew through the feather and
chanting.) Witch 2
Looky there! He’s a swan!
With this needle, with this thread
Let the spell again be said Witch 3
Sleeping Beauty not to wake I thought you were a duck!
When this needle she does take
Frog to duck, and beauty sleep Acarius
Recast spell of sleeping deep! I am a duck!
(to Sleeping Beauty) Quick. Take the Witch 1

needle and prick your finger! Not anymore! You’re a swan now.

I hate needles! The cat! (She looks into the pendant) The
muggawumps are closing in on him.
Acarius
Quickly! Do it! Do it! Witch 3
You’re a swan now! You can help him!
Witch 2
The muggawumps are stirring. Hurry! Witch 1
And quickly! Fly! Fly!
Sleeping Beauty
Ooooooohhhhh! Here we go again! Acarius
How the heck did I get to be a swan?
(she pricks her finger and immediately
drops to the floor in a dead sleep. The ALL
lights flicker on and off and out go the GO!
lights. There is a thunderous crash.
During all of this we hear:) Acarius
(Exiting)
Witch 2 I’m coming Cheshire! I’ll save you!
More swans! They’re all starting to help!

(Witches and Cop watch the pendant)
Witch 1
Witch 2 Look at all that flapping. Mercy!
Those muggawumps have got a good hold Keep snapping! It’s working!
on him. He better get there soon!
Witch 2
Witch 3 They’re starting to pop!
Oh no! Look! More muggawumps.
Witch 3
Witch 1 The muggawumps are popping!
They’re all descending on him!
Witch 1
Cop 1 Okay. That. Is Gross.
Can’t you do anything to help him?
Witch 3
Witch 2 He’s saved! The cat is saved!
I’m sorry. There is nothing in our powers
that can do it. It’s up to the swan now. Witch 2
The swan has saved the cat!
Witch 3
Only HE can help the cat now. All
Hooray! (all generally cheer)
Witch 1
Let’s do a luck spell for him. Good spells Witch 2
will work on the lake. Quickly! Everyone You can stop snapping now.
start snapping your fingers! Now!
Cop 1
Snapping quickly, snapping fast Let’s all give a hip hip hooray for the
Help the swan to help the cat Swan!
Snapping quickly, swan from duck
Give our swan some mighty luck! All
Hip hip
Everyone keep snapping!
Audience
Witch 2 Hooray. (If they do not respond, tell them
Look! He’s there! He’s made it! what to do then try again)
Witch 1 All
He’s got to hurry! Hurry! Hip hip
Cop 1 Audience
Moooove your tookas! Hooray!
Witch 2 All
Look! He’s flapping over the Hip hip
muggawumps.
Audience
Witch 3 Hooray!
Gladys
(All applaud. The swan enters.) I’m his mother.
Acarius Witch 2
Whew! Barely got him! His mother? But you’re a duck.
Witch 2 Witch 1
You’re a hero! (to audience) Hip Hip! How can a duck mother a swan?
Audience Witch 3
Hooray! Excuse me for interrupting but...I am, like,
totally confus-ed.
Acarius
Cheshire? Are you there? Gladys
He was never a duck to start with. (All
Cheshire Cat’s voice react with a plaintive “Oh!” Then,to
Thank you friend! Thank you for saving Acarius) You see, son. That day I saved
me! the swan? She saved me from the
muggawumps when that tornado came
Acarius through and blew me all the way over to
What are friends for? Swan Lake. (to Witch 1) Maybe YOU
remember that tornado?
Cheshire Cat
Hey! That’s MY line! Witch 1
The one that blew Dorothy’s house to Oz?
Acarius
I still don’t understand one thing. How did Gladys
I get to be a swan? The very one. For helping her save her
family, she gave me an egg. She said this
Witch 3 egg would protect me always from the
I have no idea! I didn’t TURN you into a muggawumps. You were the product of
swan. My spell was only supposed to that egg.
change you back to what you originally
were. Acarius
Why didn’t you tell me?
Acarius
Then how did I get to be a swan?
Gladys
Gladys (entering) The Swan made me promise not to. They
I can answer that. said that someday you would understand.
But you couldn’t till you knew what true
(All react) beauty is. Do you know what true beauty
is ?
Acarius
Mom? Acarius
I think so. Beauty is something we have
Cop 1 inside. Not always outside.
Who are you.
Gladys
That’s right. Beauty is something you Acarius

earn. Not something you have. There’s no place like lake!
Acarius (Blackout)
The witches. They have beauty because of
their help to me! End
Witch 1
Well now, aint THAT sweet!
Acarius
And Sleeping Beauty, she helped me too.
She is beautiful, not just because of her
face, but because of her actions. Poor
princess. She never got to see who I truly
was.
Gladys
I think you’re wrong. She got to see
exactly who you were.
Ya know? Beauty is not all it’s… “quacked”
up to be.
Acarius
Oooo. Bad joke, mom.
Sorry. Anyway, you bungled a few stories,

ya learned a few lessons. All is right, now.
Acarius
So what do I do now that the story’s told?
Gladys
Well, rumor has it you were heading for
Hollywood.
.
Acarius
Ohhh, I was, wasn’t I. Well, I don’t want to
go there now.
Gladys
You don’t? Why?
Acarius
Well, mother. I’ve learned one thing.
Gladys
What’s that?

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“A Duck’s Tale”

Written by Scott Rousseau

Actor 1 - Papa Bear, Cop 2, Witch 3, Tailor 2.

Actor 2 - King , Baby Bear, Cop 1.

Actor 3 - Wolf/Grandmother, Witch 1, Tailor 1.

Actress 1 - Munchkin 1, Cop 3, Witch 2.

Actress 2 - Queen, Munchkin 2, Old Woman, Cheshire Cat.

Actress 3 - Mrs. Duckling/Gladys, Mama Bear, Sleeping Beauty.

Acarius - The Ugly Duckling (Frog)

(Mrs. Duckling pulls back the blanket for Sleeping Beauty

Yet Another Duck Sleeping Beauty

let others get in your way. Go your OWN

Gladys King (while exiting)

Acarius (They are gone. We now see the Wolf

(Enter Acarius, with a bundle on a stick) Acarius

(Enter, the HUNTER) Acarius

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Acarius (to Munchkins) Witch

Witch 1 and Munchkins Meka-leka high meka ho ho hog.

(He exits and a table is rolled on with Mama Bear

Papa Bear Mama Bear

Mama Bear Papa Bear

(They both look, expectantly, at baby Baby bear

I am NOT having a good day here. Acarius

(He exits. A table with the sleeping Sleeping Beauty

(HE kisses the sleeping Sleeping Beauty. Sleeping Beauty

Acarius Worms are nasty and icky. Period.

Sleeping Beauty (From offstage, we hear a woman yelling.)

(She gets the kids to answer) Old Woman

(If any of the children respond, she ad libs Old Woman

Cop 1 Gotta find the witch that did this.

(All three witches reply at the same time) Witch 3

Sleeping Beauty Cop

Well, she kissed me, thinking I would be a This is insane.

All Witches Acarius

Acarius and Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Witch 3

(There is a great thunder, and lights flash. Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Acarius

planning on making some clothes or removable. Acarius and Sleeping Beauty

Acarius Sleeping Beauty

Cheshire cat Cheshire Cat

Cheshire Cat Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Acarius

Sleeping Beauty Sleeping Beauty

Cheshire Cat Acarius

Sleeping Beauty Gladys

Acarius Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Acarius

Sleeping Beauty Acarius

Sleeping Beauty Gladys

Later! Now get going! Tailor 1

Tailor 1 Sleeping Beauty

Tailor 2 (She gets two volunteers from the

Tailor 2 (She sends the kids to the tailors. They

Tailor 1 Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty Tailor 1

Cat-nip, and Cat-sup, and Cat-amarans,

Sleeping Beauty (out loud) Cheshire Cat

(blacklight on, lights out) Cheshire Cat

(He “plucks” a whisker from his face with Cheshire Cat

Acarius Cheshire Cat

Cheshire Cat Acarius

Acarius Cheshire Cat

A Duck's Tale-Rousseau-2col

A Duck's Tale-Rousseau-2col