english-e-reader.

net

A note from the author

Reading has the power to motivate a learner to go further. Understanding a joke, getting used to a writer's style or just
enjoying a good story can be hugely rewarding experiences in a second language.
A good graded reader should be fun. Once reading becomes enjoyable, it no longer feels like study. It becomes much
easier to pick up that book each night and develop a habit of learning.
I'm a big fan of graded readers in my own language learning. I find reading to be helpful in many ways. It can certainly
help introduce a new language – vocabulary and grammar structures. More importantly, it supports the rest of our language
learning too. By reading words and phrases we've seen or heard before, we strengthen our memory of that language. By
seeing words and phrases used in different ways and in different situations, we strengthen our understanding of that language.
Also, without really trying, we slowly develop our understanding of the grammar behind a language and the common ways it
is used to describe meaning and emotion. In other words, we develop our feeling for the language.
I created this graded reader for my students at thelanguageprofessional.com – a website where English learners can
develop English skills for work. I hoped to create a fun, enjoyable story that supports the learning of English, particularly for
the workplace.
However, I hope you'll find it to be a fun read whether you're interested in English for work or learning English more
generally.
It's time - let's bring the dead to life.
Hugh
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER ONE
A meeting with the boss
"Brian, could I have a quick word in private?" said Peter.
Such an innocent question. But everyone knows that it really means you've done something terribly wrong and you're
about to get into trouble.
"Sure, of course," said Brian as confidently as he could.
Brian had never been called into his manager's office before and was trying hard to seem like he wasn't nervous. Some
of his workmates had been asked to go in before so he knew what to expect. The result was always the same. People walked
into his office smiling. They came out frowning.
"Just this way," Peter said, pointing past the receptionist desk and towards his office door.
Rachel, the receptionist, gave Brian a weak smile. Her large eyes followed the pair as they walked into the room.
As he walked into the office, head down, Brian saw a lot of legs. Two from his boss, four from the desk, eight from the
chairs and one from a lamp in the corner of the room.
'That's seventeen legs in total, if I add my own', Brian calculated.
"Please, take a seat", said Brian's manager, pointing to four of the seventeen. "So, how's everything going with you
these days, Brian?"
"Pretty good thanks," said Brain, lowering himself into the chair. "I've had a busy morning speaking with clients."
"I see," said Brian's manager, nodding and adjusting the glasses on his nose. "It's good to keep busy."
He continued, "Brian, I wanted to speak to you about your motivation for the job".
"My motivation?", Brian asked.
"Yes, your motivation," Brian's manager replied. "I mean, I've noticed a few things that make me question whether you
really want to be working here at all."
"Oh," said Brian.
 english-e-reader.net

"Firstly, there's the way you dress. Now, I know you speak to most clients over the phone, but when people do come to
the office, what impression do you think they get of you and our company when they see your shirt is hanging out and not
ironed?"
"Right", said Brian.
"Secondly, there's the way you carry yourself around the office," Brian's manager continued.
"The way I carry myself?", Brian asked.
"Yes. Just take a look out there," Brian's manager pointed through the glass door of his office. "Can you see Beatrice
out there? Look at how she's walking. Head up, confident and smiling. She looks like she wants to be here. She looks
energetic. She looks hungry for success."
Brian looked over his shoulder and saw Beatrice walking powerfully across the office. 'He's right, she does look
confident', he thought.
"In comparison, look at the way you walk," Peter continued. "You walk really slowly. Your shoulders and neck bend
forward. Your arms hang out in front of you. You don't look like you care about anything."
'I'm a zombie', Brian thought. 'It's just how we look.'
Brian thought for a moment, then took a deep breath before replying.
"I guess I haven't really thought about all this before. This first month at the company, I've just been trying so hard to
understand the job. I feel like I've been learning new things every day and I never stopped to consider those things. But I
understand what you're saying. The way we look and behave is important. It affects how people think and feel about us.
Honestly, I can tell you that I do care about this job and I'm working really hard to do the best job I can. Even if it doesn't
look that way."
"That's great, Brian. So, what do you think you can do to improve in this area?"
"Well, I'll start by ironing my shirt and tucking it in", Brian answered. "And I'm going to make an effort to improve the
way I carry myself around the office. Thanks for making me aware of this. It's something I do need to improve and I'm going
to work at this right away."
"Great", said Brian's manager. "Let's speak again in a couple of weeks and see how you're getting on."
Brian walked out of the office with his head up. He passed by the receptionist desk, where Rachel sat smiling warmly
at him.
'Now, that wasn't so bad', Brian thought to himself.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER TWO
A day in the life of a (working) zombie
Brian woke up at seven. He was in a great mood.
He got up, washed his face, brushed his teeth and got dressed. Next, he started to do his make-up. Normally, he hated
this task. But today, he whistled happily as he began to remove all signs of being undead.
One of the challenges of succeeding as an undead professional is the fact that because you have no blood running
through your body, your skin looks deathly pale. Also, skin of the undead doesn't grow like living skin. It peels off easily if
you don't take good care of it.
Brian's make-up routine is the same every day. He starts by using moisturising cream to help make his face less dry.
Zombie skin is easily sunburned, so Brian uses a moisturiser that includes sun cream. He then puts foundation (one kind of
make-up) all over his face, ears and neck to make them look smooth. After that, he uses concealer (a second kind of make-up)
to help hide the dark spots and circles around the face and eyes that are common signs of being a zombie. Finally, he uses
lipstick (a third kind of make-up) to add a light red to his colourless lips.
With his make-up complete, Brian moved to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and looked across the rows of plastic
boxes that were labelled either 'pig', 'sheep', 'chicken' or 'duck'. He grabbed one of the boxes labelled 'sheep' and a carton of
milk and took them over to the kitchen counter. He put some sheep brains into a bowl and poured milk over the top, before
eating with a spoon.
A zombie's diet is very simple. Brains. While Brian chooses to eat his breakfast with milk on top, the milk has no
nutritional value for him. It's purely a lifestyle choice.
Brian's wide range of brains is unusual for a zombie. He used to work on a farm outside town in exchange for food.
The family who owned the farm knew Brian was a zombie and weren't afraid of him. In many ways, it was an excellent job.
He had plenty of food, he got a lot of exercise and he didn't need to change his appearance (but that's another story). Today,
Brian still visits the family each weekend. Every time he visits, he buys a supply of brains to take home and keep in the
fridge.
While a zombie can eat brains hot or cold, they absolutely must be eaten fresh. Many zombies have lost their lives
(again) by eating rotten brains, which lose their freshness within twenty-four hours. Brian found that by refrigerating the
brains, he could eat them safely up to a week later.
 english-e-reader.net

After breakfast, Brian packed a lunch box of duck brains in his bag and left his apartment at around a quarter past
eight. He caught the 395 bus and arrived at work half an hour later.
"Good morning Brian", sang the receptionist as Brian walked in.
Rachel gave great smiles. She didn't just smile from the mouth. Her smiles seemed to involve her lips, her cheeks and
her large blue eyes. Her arms and hands often joined in too. She gave full-body smiles.
"Morning Rachel", replied Brian, returning the smile.
He walked over to the staff kitchen and put his duck container in the fridge. Brian was always careful with his lunch as
he didn't want other staff to find out he was eating brains. He used plastic lunch containers that people couldn't see through
and always labelled them with his name.
Brian's day went quickly and by five o' clock he was still in a good mood.
He caught the 395 bus and went back home. For dinner, he felt in the mood for pig and warmed some up in the
microwave. He then sat down in front of the TV and watched a few episodes of his favourite zombie series.
There were a lot of zombie films and TV series to choose from and Brian was a big fan of all of them. They were very
unrealistic, of course, and always used living actors who pretended to be zombies. But, despite this, Brian was fascinated by
them.
At around eleven, Brian got changed, brushed his teeth, removed his make up and went to bed.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER THREE
Working as a headhunter (recruiter)
Most of the staff had lunch at around noon, but Brian preferred to eat later, around two o' clock. He was afraid of
people asking questions about his choice of food so preferred to eat when there were fewer people around.
Brian entered the staff eating area at his usual time, collected his lunch box from the fridge and put it in the microwave.
Sheep brains today.
"Oh, hey there, how's it going?" said a friendly voice from over his shoulder.
Brian turned around to see someone he thought he recognised.
"Hey, good thanks. Erm, Steve, is it?" Brian replied.
"That's right, good memory!" said Steve. "Sorry, what was your name again?"
"It's Brian."
Brian was pretty good with names.
Brian worked at the head office of a multi-national supermarket - in the Human Resources department. More
specifically, he worked in Recruitment. With over two thousand workers across the head office's different departments, there
was always a need to hire new staff and that's where Brian came in. His job involved interviewing people who applied for
jobs at the company.
He remembered meeting Steve two weeks ago when he came for an interview for a job in the Property department. It
wasn't Brian who interviewed him, but Brian's supervisor, Cindy.
"So, how are you settling in to the new job?" asked Brian.
"It's been a busy couple of weeks. You know how it is. I'm still trying to get used to how things get done around here
and there's just so much to remember. Sometimes, I'm so busy I don't even have lunch."
"That's terrible. You should definitely try to make time for lunch," said Brian.
"Yeah," Steve replied. "So, you're in Recruitment, right?"
"That's right. I help hire new staff."
"So, how's life as a headhunter?" asked Steve.
 english-e-reader.net

'Ouch.' Brain hated when people called him a headhunter.

Yes, the word 'headhunter' can be used to describe some kinds of recruiters (people with the job of hiring new staff).
However, it's also a name that a lot of people are using nowadays to talk about zombies (not zombies like Brain who have
jobs and behave pretty much like everyone else, the disgusting ones who sleep in sewers and spend all their time hunting for
brains).
Brian had never eaten human brains. Not once.
Besides, 'headhunter' isn't even the correct word for his job anyway. He tried to explain.
"You see, headhunters usually work for a recruitment company that is separate from the company that needs new staff.
So, imagine we need a new IT manager but are finding it hard to get someone suitable. Well, we could ask a headhunting
company to find some suitable candidates and invite them for an interview. And we'd probably only pay them if one of their
candidates actually gets the job."
"Now, recruiters, on the other hand", Brian continued, "usually work directly for the company who wants to hire
someone. Take me, for example. We have a whole HR department to deal with things like contracts, training and recruitment.
I work on the recruitment side of things."
"I see. I had no idea!" said Steve, taking a bite out of his ham sandwich.
"And you're working in the Property Department, right? I don't really know much about that area. What do you guys
actually get up to over there?" asked Brian.
"Well, basically, we deal with planning and building new supermarket stores. We're expanding into pretty much every
village, town and city across the country. You wouldn't believe how many new stores are opening each year!"
"That sounds exciting!" said Brian. "I guess that'll keep you busy."
"You're not wrong there," said Steve. "What's that you're eating? Smells nice."
"Erm..." Brian had completely forgotten about his sheep brains, lying untouched in his lunch box.
"Minced lamb." Brian replied.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER FOUR
A tough day at the office
Brian arrived later than usual for work one morning after his bus was caught in traffic. There was always more traffic
on the roads on rainy days like this one.
The elevator doors opened at his floor and he walked in, hung up his wet coat and left his umbrella by the coat stand to
dry. He gave Rachel, the receptionist, a quick wave as he walked straight towards the men's washroom.
'Need to check the make-up', Brian thought.
On rainy days, there was a big risk for working zombies like Brian that their make-up would run. And if a working
zombie's make-up runs, they soon look like any ordinary sewer zombie - hated and feared by pretty much everyone.
'Not too bad', Brain thought - looking at himself in the mirror. He added a little concealer around the eyes and a bit of
red to his lips, then left the washroom.
Brian sat down at his desk, checked his appointments for the day and began to answer a couple of emails.
Brian's department, Human Resources, was all found on one floor. It was an open office - so you could see all the way
from one side of the floor to the other. But there were low partitions that separated the different areas of HR - Administration,
Employee Relations, Health and Safety, Legal, Recruitment (where Brian worked), and Training and Development.
As he was working, he heard several voices coming from the photocopier area behind his desk. They were chatting
about something that caught Brian's attention.
"Dead," said one of the voices - a female voice that Brian didn't recognise.
"Gone. Just like that," the voice continued sadly. "Got trapped in an alley. Headhunters came out of nowhere."
"That's the third one this year," said a male voice.
Brian recognised this voice. Nick from Health and Safety. Brian knew Nick quite well. Nick gave Brian training on
health and safety issues when Brian first arrived at the company.
"Someone's got to do something about them", Nick continued. "My kids are afraid to leave the house."
"They're everywhere these days," said the first voice. "Even in our office," she added softly.
 english-e-reader.net

Brian looked straight ahead and pretended to continue working. He knew where this conversation was going. It was the
same every time.
"Now, come on", said another female voice. Brian was pretty sure he recognised this voice. Susie from Marketing. 'But
what's Susie doing here in HR', Brian wondered.
"They're not all the same, you know that," Susie continued. "Most zombies just want to go to work and earn a living
like you and me."
"They'd still eat your brains if they could, though, wouldn't they", said Nick.
"I heard they spread disease with everything they touch. To think we have to use the same toilets as they do. Makes me
sick," said the first voice.
Brian's head dropped and he stared at the lifeless pair of hands resting on his keyboard.
"There's no evidence that they can spread disease," said Susie.
"No evidence at all", Susie continued. "We've known that for over twenty years. Two decades of research. Come on,
you guys work in HR. You know you can't talk like that. They have rights too, you know."
Susie's voice got quieter as she walked away from the other two.
"She's right. You can't say anything these days", said Nick. "You never know who you're talking to."
Later that day, after Brian had eaten his lunch, he bumped into Susie in the elevator.
"Weather's been awful, hasn't it," said Susie.
"Terrible," agreed Brian.
"Hey Susie," Brian went on. "I overheard you speaking to those other guys earlier down in HR. People don't often
speak up for zombie rights. Good on you."
"Yeah, I just can't believe people still speak like that in today's world," Susie replied, rolling her eyes upward.
"Well, this is my floor", Susie said as the elevator reached floor sixteen. "Catch you later!"
"See ya," called Brian as the elevator door closed behind her.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER FIVE
Brian's performance review
The months passed quickly and soon it was the day of Brian's first year performance review.
Brian's manager had emailed Brian a few days before to schedule a meeting. In the email, he asked Brian to think about
his progress over the year, then complete a self-evaluation form and send it back to him.
"Hi Brian, take a seat," said Peter. "Lovely day, isn't it?"
"Right! These past couple of weeks have been brilliant," replied Brian.
"Everything okay these days?" asked Peter.
"Yeah, not too bad, thanks," Brian responded. "I've been making the most of the sun and going hiking on the
weekends."
A lot of people wrongly believe that zombies can't go out in the daytime. 'Underground zombies' don't often come up
to ground level because they fear for their safety - police are allowed to legally shoot violent zombies, but reports suggest
hundreds of peaceful zombies also get shot every year. Most 'working zombies', like Brian, choose to change their
appearance and hide their true nature - not just for safety, but also so they can be accepted more easily into society.
"That's great! Good to keep healthy," said Peter, smiling, as he cleaned his glasses with a small cloth.
After putting his glasses back on, his eyes dropped to the piece of paper on his desk.
"Thank you for sending me your self-evaluation form," said Peter. "It seems that you've made a lot of progress in the
last six months."
"Yes, I think so. It took a few months to really get into the role at the beginning. But after that, I think I got the hang of
it. Cindy was a great help, answering all my questions and giving me advice on each stage of the recruitment process."
As Brian's supervisor, Cindy was the person who trained Brian when he first started at the company. She taught him
how to 'screen' (check) the CVs of candidates to see if they met the minimum requirements for the role. She showed him how
to set up first interviews with candidates who met the requirements and how to actually give those interviews in person, over
the phone or over the internet. She explained the importance of clear communication with the hiring manager - the person
who requests someone to be hired. And for those candidates that hiring managers were interested in, Cindy also taught Brian
how to organise background and reference checks.
 english-e-reader.net

Brian was thankful that Cindy never seemed too busy to offer advice when he needed help.
"That's good to hear," responded Peter.
"In the past six months, I've felt much more organised and more confident in my abilities," Brian continued. "For
example, it takes me a lot less time now to do activities like screening CVs and setting up background checks."
"Yes, Cindy has been very positive about the progress you've been making. She also mentioned that your interview
technique has improved. You're now asking better questions - questions that get candidates to give clear examples of their
skills. She says you're asking them for more details when necessary and moving on when you have enough information."
Peter went on.
"I've also noticed you look more confident and presentable, Brian, which is great as it's something we spoke about
some time ago."
"Sure, I definitely worked on that back then. It's pretty much a habit now," Brian responded.
Peter adjusted his glasses with one hand and took a sip of coffee with the other.
"Now, Brian. Have you thought about any goals for the next six to twelve months?"
Brian paused for a moment.
"To be honest, I feel like I'm pretty comfortable in the role now. It's been good working with hiring managers from
different departments, as I've got to know different sides of the business. I even think I might be interested in working in
departments like Marketing, Purchasing or Product Development in future."
"Oh, I see," said Brian's manager. "Well, we have had people transfer from HR to other departments in the past. Are
you sure you don't see a future for yourself in HR? As you know, Cindy will be going on maternity leave around November
so we'll be looking for a supervisor. You might be ready to take on new responsibilities by then."
"Well, I am still learning here so I'm not in a hurry to leave or anything. Perhaps we can see how things go?" replied
Brian.
"Sure. Well, over the next few months, why don't we get you to work with the hiring managers from those departments
you mentioned? That way you'll have a chance to learn more about the roles in those departments and the kind of skills you
need for them."
"That sounds like a great idea," Brian answered.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER SIX
The staff party
Over the next few months, Brian's friendship with Susie grew stronger. They often went to lunch together and Susie
never seemed to ask questions about what Brian was eating.
They joked about all kinds of things - their lives, the city, the people they worked with, their jobs.
Brian was amazed how passionate she was about marketing. She really seemed fascinated by the different ways you
could reach people and attract their interest in a company and its products.
One day, as they were having lunch together in the staff eating area, Brian started a conversation he had never had
before.
"Susie, listen. I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now."
"Oh, yeah," Susie replied, raising her eyebrows and smiling. "This sounds interesting."
"Well, it's just that I," Brian said, pausing to find the right words.
"Go on," said Susie, leaning towards Brian and knocking him shoulder to shoulder.
"I just, um, thought that," Brian continued, "now could be a good time to let you know that...well, it's a bit difficult to
say out loud, but...".
"You know I'm married, don't you Brian?" Susie with a serious look on her face.
"Well, no. I mean, yes. I do now, I guess," said Brian, forgetting what he was trying to say.
"I'm kidding!" Susie said laughing. "You know I'm not married. I've been telling you for weeks about all the guys I
like. Seriously Brian, just hurry up and finish what you want to say. I've got to get back to work soon."
"I'm a zombie!" Brian said quickly, his eyes dropping down towards the chicken brains in his lunchbox.
"Oh Brian, of course you are," said Susie, touching Brian's arm gently.
Brian looked up at Susie, searching for clues in her eyes. "What do you mean? You knew? How?" he asked.
"Of course I knew. I read the signs," Susie replied.
"Signs? What signs?"
 english-e-reader.net

"Where should I start?" Susie said with a soft laugh. "Head down every time someone like Nick mentions the undead.
Twenty bathroom visits a day to check your make-up. Lipstick stains on your glass after you drink. And just look at what
you're eating Brian! Shall I go on?"
"So you noticed then," Brian replied, playing with his unfinished chicken brains with a fork.
Brian's eyes lit up.
"But you're okay with it?" he asked. "I mean, you're cool with me being a zombie?"
"Brian, come on. How long have we been friends for?" Susie said. "Of course I'm cool with it. It doesn't change
anything."
Brian smiled. "Thanks Susie," he said.
Susie went on. "You know, things have changed a lot over the past few years. You might be surprised how accepting
people can be nowadays."
"So, are you coming to the staff party tonight?" Brian asked. "It's on floor twenty."
"Food, drink and dancing? Count me in!" Susie answered.
***
After work, Brian joined a group of workmates from his department to go upstairs to the staff party.
This year, the company had decided to use the conference rooms on floor twenty and had hired caterers to provide the
food and a DJ for the music. The food was served buffet-style, so each staff member could pick up a plate and choose from a
range of food. There was also an 'open bar', where alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks were being served for free.
Brian didn't usually enjoy these parties. He never really knew what to say to people and was always worried about how
he looked. But that evening he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. For the first time in a long time, he felt...
alive.
Brian saw Susie chatting with some workmates and went over to join her. He recognised two of these workmates -
Steve and Jason, both from the Property department. There were three more members of staff who Brian didn't recognise.
"Brian!" called Steve, as Brian got closer.
"Everyone, this is Brian, from HR," Steve said to the group. "Brian, this is Mary, Jane and Victor - all from Property. I
think you've met Jason before. And this is Susie from Marketing."
 english-e-reader.net

"Actually, we already know each other," said Susie, sipping a cocktail. "Unfortunately," she added while punching
Brian lightly on the arm.
"Hey guys, nice to meet you," said Brian.
"Anyone want a drink?" asked Steve, walking towards the bar.
As the party went on and the music got louder, more and more people moved away from the food and towards the
dance floor.
A couple of other staff members had joined Brian's group and they were all chatting happily. Brian had had a few beers
and was feeling a little light-headed. He didn't mind. It was a good feeling. It was the feeling of freedom.
They chatted and laughed about all kinds of things – things they were working on, the people they knew, the music that
was playing, the food served at the buffet, famous people, TV and much more.
When someone mentioned zombie films, Brian suddenly spoke without thinking.
"Did you know I'm a zombie?"
Brian was surprised by their reactions. Everyone seemed fine with the news.
The group continued to chat, joke and laugh, before joining the dance floor and dancing into the night.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER SEVEN
The anti-social and the social
In the days after the party, Brian thought he noticed some changes around the office. Just a few little things here and
there that made him pause and think. 'Hmm'.
He wasn't sure whether he was just imagining these things.
For example, each day when he opened the fridge to collect his lunch, was it just Brian's imagination or was his
lunchbox always on its own in a corner while the rest of the fridge was full? Was he also imagining the looks in his direction
when workmates were chatting nearby? And there was the time when he was introduced to someone who just smiled when
Brian went to shake his hand.
One day, Brian experienced something that was definitely not just in his imagination.
On one of Brian's visits to the washroom, after he had walked out of one toilet cubicle, he saw a worker standing by the
next cubicle. The man was reading something on his phone and seemed to be waiting for a free toilet cubicle.
"This one's free," Brian said to the man, pointing at the toilet cubicle he had just come out of.
"That's fine. I'll wait," said the man without looking up. He continued to look at his phone.
Brian walked past the man towards the sinks, making sure he kept his body between his hands and the man. 'Careful',
thought Brian. 'Can't let him see'.
As he washed his hands, he watched as small bits of skin peeled off and floated down the sinkhole. His hands began to
lose their colour.
Brian was prepared for this and always carried a tanning moisturising cream in his back pocket. This helped manage
the dryness and add some colour back. He dried his hands and applied the cream, all the time with his back to the man.
As he opened the door to leave, he heard a voice call out from behind him.
"Zombie scum."
Brian left the room and walked back to his desk. He tried to get on with his work, but found his mind going back to
what the man said. He kept hearing those two words over and over in his head.
'Zombie scum'.
 english-e-reader.net

***
The next day, Brian told Steve about the guy in the washroom.
Brian and Steve had become friends over the past few weeks and Brian felt comfortable enough to speak to him about
his personal life.
"That's terrible Brian," said Steve with a sorry look on his face. "Try and forget about it, mate. Those kind of people -
they're not worth thinking about."
"News travels fast, I guess," said Brian, thinking back to the night of the staff party.
Steve paused for a moment, before looking up at Brian.
"Speaking of news, have you checked the staff noticeboard recently?" Steve asked.
"No, not lately," Brian responded.
"Well, there's this one notice about an 'undead-friendly' event happening soon. I didn't have time to read it properly.
Why don't you check it out?"
On his way back to his desk, Brian checked the noticeboard. There, in the corner, was a sheet of paper with a headline
written in big letters.
UNDEAD-FRIENDLY SOCIAL NIGHT THIS FRIDAY
Below the headline, there was an image of the sun rising from behind mountains. Yellow rays of sunlight were shining
in all directions.
Brian read on.

Undead? Living?
Join workmates for food, drinks and fun at The Sunrise Bar!
All are welcome - just bring a warm smile!
BYO food/drinks (for dietary requirements)
6pm, Friday 6th May, The Sunrise Bar, West Street
 english-e-reader.net

'BYO', Brian wondered.

'Oh right', he thought. 'Bring Your Own'.
***
That Friday, Brian received a message from Susie on his phone.
'So, meet you at 6 downstairs?'
Brian wrote back, confused.
'Why, what's happening?'
A few seconds later, he received another message.
'Undead-friendly event at Sunrise Bar. You're coming with me and Steve, right? Just say yes.'
Brian didn't know what to say at times like this. Susie was always so positive about... well, everything. 'Just say yes'.
That was easy for her to say. She wasn't undead. She hadn't gone through what Brian had. She didn't have to deal with people
avoiding her, giving her funny looks or saying nasty things. Same thing with Steve. What had Steve gone through that was
anything like this? What if Brian was the only zombie there? What if the bar was full of haters? He might have to take more
abuse from people. There could be a fight.
Brian started to think of reasons not to go to the event. Perhaps he could say he was sick. Or perhaps he already had
plans. He could have plans.
'You never have plans', Brian, he thought.
"Just say yes!" shouted Susie's voice in his head, breaking through his thoughts.
Brian reached for his phone and started typing.
'Sure, see you downstairs at 6.'
Then he hit the 'send' button.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER EIGHT
The sunrise
The bar was just a ten-minute walk away.
When Brian, Steve and Susie reached the building, they looked up to see a bright yellow sun on a red signboard. The
sun's rays spread out and off the edge of the signboard. Next to the sun were the words 'The Sunrise Bar'. The sound of live
music was coming from inside.
Steve held the door open for Susie and Brian. They walked in to see a bar straight ahead of them. A barmaid was
cleaning glasses and placing them on shelves, while a barman was taking someone's order. To the left were several long
wooden tables with benches to sit on. A group of five people were sitting at one of these tables playing a dice game. To the
right were several smaller tables with wooden chairs. A couple was sitting at one table and a group of three at another.
Behind them, on the far right wall, was a stage where a woman in her twenties was playing the guitar and singing.
"Here for the social?" called a woman from one of the long tables on the left.
"Yes, that's right," said Susie, walking over. Brian followed.
As they got closer to the table, they could see the five people more clearly. A tall man and woman were sitting at the
far side of the table, facing them. On the near side were three more people. Well, I say people. I mean, there were two people
and a... well, a shirt, a tie and trousers floating in the air.
Brian had heard about ghosts before, but he'd never actually met one.
"Linda!" said Steve loudly as he entered behind the other two. "I didn't know you were coming!"
"Hey Steve, me neither!" she replied. "It was actually my Bill who asked me to join. Bill and his workmates arranged
the event."
Bill was sitting immediately beside her.
"So this is THE Bill then? Finally we get to meet. I'm Steve - I work with Linda" said Steve, shaking Bill's hand. "And
this is Brian from HR and Susie from Marketing."
"Steve, Susie and Brian," said Bill.
"Great to meet you guys," Bill continued, shaking Susie's and Brian's hands. "I'm Bill and this is my wife Linda. And
this is Arnold, Lisa and Julie - they all work with me in IT."
 english-e-reader.net

The group put their dice game to one side and made room for the three newcomers to join their table.
"Drinks anyone? Food?" asked Linda.
Brian's stomach made a sound of complaint.
"You'll eat, Brian, won't you?" said Susie. She brought a hand towards her mouth and spoke to the group in a pretend
whisper. "He was so nervous, he forgot to eat his lunch! He's brought lunch and dinner with him!"
"Susie!" Brian complained.
"Don't worry Brian, we're all friends here," said Linda, pulling something from a plastic bag. "We're really glad you all
came along. We've been wanting to do something like this for ages."
Linda placed three bottles on the table. Each bottle was full of thick, red liquid.
"There's more where that came from if anyone wants a try!" said Bill, smiling.
Nobody said anything.
"What! It's not human blood," said Bill, looking hurt.
'Vampires.' Brian used to know a vampire a long time ago, but they lost contact. 'I wonder what Victor's up to these
days.'
"And did you bring anything, Brian?" said a male voice coming from the floating shirt.
All the heads at the table turned to look in Brian's direction. The shirt and tie seemed to move up and down with
laughter.
"You ALL know already, don't you!" said Brian with a laugh, before pulling his lunchbox out of his bag and placing it
in front of him.
"Fresh cow brains, come and get them!" said Brian.
As the evening went on, several more people joined their group until there were around twenty in total. Of these, eight
were undead - three vampires (Bill, Linda and Jeffrey), one ghost (Arnold), four zombies (Brian, Mark, Sally and Nadia).
"Oh, I'm starving!" said Nadia, as she arrived at the table with her boyfriend, Gary. "I'd absolutely KILL for some
brains", she added.
The living humans at the table gave her a nervous look.
"No, I meant," said Nadia. "I just meant that I'm hungry. Not... THAT."
 english-e-reader.net

There was laughter all around and Susie reminded Brian that he had another meal in his bag.
"Here, you can have this," said Brian, handing Nadia his other food box.
"Are you sure?" asked Nadia. "Wow, thanks."
A few seconds passed.
"This is AMAZING, Brian!" said Nadia, speaking with her mouth full of food.
"Seriously guys, you just HAVE to try this," she added, holding her fork out towards Mark and Sally - the other two
zombies at the table.
"She's right," agreed Mark as he chewed on a long piece of pig brain.
He passed the fork to Sally.
"Wow, this is much better than the stuff I'm used to," said Sally. "It's just so fresh and juicy. Where on earth do they
come from?"
"Oh, I get them from some friends of mine who own a farm," Brian replied. "It's all I eat really."
"They're ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS," said Nadia, as a piece of brain fat dropped onto her blouse.
"I'm SERIOUS," she added, licking the last few bits off the lid of the box. "I would PAY for brains as good as these."
The event was a complete success and the group continued to chat and laugh all through the night and into the early
hours. Barry the barman, it turns out, was a vampire and joined the group after the normal closing time when most people had
already left.
Brian, Steve and Susie were the last few people to leave the bar. By the time they left, it was already getting lighter
outside.
As Brian walked out through the doors, he was greeted with an amazing bright, red sunrise.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER NINE
A working lunch
Over the next few weeks, Brian began to order more brains on his weekly trips to the farm outside town. At home, he
divided the brains into single meal sizes. He labelled each meal 'chicken', 'duck', 'pig' or 'sheep', and stored them in his
freezer.
From Monday to Friday each week, Brian took orders from his new zombie friends - Mark, Sally and Nadia. On
Friday, he took the meals in to work and delivered them to those who had ordered earlier in the week. The next week, the
process started again.
Brian's three zombie friends were very thankful. As working zombies, they didn't have much time to hunt for their own
food, so they used to buy bags of brains from underground zombies. But these brains usually came from sewer rats, lizards
and who knows what else - all minced together in a bag. They were not particularly tasty and their freshness was
questionable.
During this time, Brian began to experiment with the flavour of his brains. Each week, he added a different herb or
spice to the mix. The following week, he would ask what Mark, Sally and Nadia thought about the new taste. He listened to
their opinions and used this information to improve the recipe.
News of Brian's fresh, tasty brains spread quickly. He began receiving more and more orders from zombies across the
company. Soon, he was receiving more orders than he could manage and needed to create a waiting list for new customers.
Brian realised he needed help.
One day, he met up with Steve and Susie for lunch. He explained the situation to them.
"Oh my gosh, Brian. That's incredible!" said Susie. "You really have been busy these past few weeks."
"I know," said Brain. "It's just all happening so fast. All I wanted to do at the beginning was help out a few friends.
Now I can't keep up with all the orders!"
"You've certainly found a gap in the market," said Steve. "You could create a business out of this."
"A business?" said Brian, scratching his head. "I wouldn't know where to start."
There was a short pause. Susie took a sip from her glass of water and Steve had a bite from his sandwich.
"But you already have started, Brian," said Susie. "And you're doing a really good job of it."
 english-e-reader.net

"What do you mean?" asked Brian.

"She's right," added Steve. "Look, you've found yourself a good supplier for your product."
"Yeah, but that's just a farm I used to work at," said Brian.
"Exactly," said Steve. "You managed to find a supplier from your network of contacts. Not everyone has those kinds of
contacts, Bri."
"And look at what you've been doing recently," Susie said. "You've been getting feedback from your customers and
using that feedback to improve the product. That's called 'customer research'."
"I just wanted to improve the recipe, that's all," said Brian.
"If you already have more orders than you can manage," Susie went on, "then that's a great sign that there's a real
future in this."
Susie continued, looking into the air and drawing imaginary pictures as she spoke.
"Don't settle for sewer rats! Take your pick from our selection of free-range brains!" she said powerfully.
'Free-range, huh', thought Brain. 'Well, it is a free-range farm - the animals can walk around freely outdoors.'
"Fresh from the farm! Ordered to your office!" Susie continued.
"I think I'm going to need more people to help manage these deliveries," said Brian.
He continued. "But I don't have any more space in my freezer."
"What you really need is a building for storage and distribution," said Steve.
"Storage and distribution?" asked Brian.
"Right," Steve continued. "You'll need a kind of warehouse to store and freeze the food. And if this warehouse is
nearer the city, you'll be able to make faster deliveries."
"Fresh from the farm! Delivered to your door!" Susie added.
Brian thought for a moment.
"I like the idea. I mean, the farm is pretty far away. It would be more efficient to order more product, store it in a
warehouse, then deliver directly to customers."
There was another pause while Brian took a bite of his cow brains.
Suddenly, he put down his fork and looked up.
 english-e-reader.net

"I'd need someone to manage the marketing side of things," he said, looking in Susie's direction.
"And I'd need someone to find a suitable property," he continued, looking towards Steve. "Someone with the
experience and knowledge to pick the right location around the city."
Brian continued, "But to start with, we'll need some time to get more customers and get a bit more money coming in."
"We?" said Susie and Steve at the same time.
"Right, we'll need to use both your freezers as well as mine," Brian went on. "And we'll need all three of us to help
make deliveries around the office."
There was another pause as Susie and Steve looked at each other with eyebrows raised.
 english-e-reader.net

CHAPTER TEN
Brian's Brains
Over the next few months, Brian, Steve and Susie all helped to collect orders and deliver food outside their regular
jobs.
It wasn't long before they again were receiving more orders than they could manage. Their freezers were already full of
brains and they found themselves busy all the time.
Brian was the first to leave his job, feeling that he needed to give all his time to the project to help it succeed. Susie and
Steve followed shortly after. They put together a business plan, took out a bank loan and registered their business.
When it came to choosing a name for the business, the three co-founders didn't take long to decide.
'Brian's Brains.'
The three began working from a small office in the centre of town.
Brian managed purchasing and product development. He was able to get a good deal with the farm he used to work at
on the purchase of fresh animal brains. He also continued doing his customer research, slowly improving the flavour and
style until it matched his zombie customers' tastes. Eventually, he created four different flavours that he was confident would
delight customers: 'Cockroach Chicken, Dragonfly Duck, Pistachio Pig and Chardonnay Sheep.'
Steve dealt with operations and property. He managed to find a suitable warehouse on the edge of town and hired a
number of large freezers, which could be used to store much larger quantities of brains. He organised a delivery contract
between the farm and the warehouse and used a delivery app to manage orders and deliveries from the warehouse to
customers.
Susie was responsible for marketing and sales. She set up a website that showed all the products available at Brian's
Brains and allowed customers to place orders. She managed the relationship with the customers, giving them the latest news
and showing them how to place orders through the website or delivery app.
At the same time, undead-friendly events were becoming more popular around town. The three co-founders went to
many of these events. They developed relationships with the organisers and were often allowed to give free brain samples to
zombies. Many of these zombies became new customers.
Brain's Brains became more and more popular with zombies throughout the town and sales grew stronger and stronger.
 english-e-reader.net

One Friday evening, Brian, Steve and Susie decided to go back to The Sunrise Bar. They had heard that there was now
an undead-friendly event every week.
As they walked towards the door, the sound of rock music grew louder and louder.
They entered the bar. Barry the barman gave them a friendly wave over a crowd of customers. To the right, a large
group of people stood listening to a band playing on stage. The tables had all been cleared away.
"Look Brian, it's an undead band!" said Susie, excitedly.
"Wow! There's something you don't see every day," added Steve.
Brian looked up towards the stage, where he could see four performers. They were clearly undead. In fact, they didn't
seem to be hiding their natural look at all.
The singer was a tall man with a pale face and red eyes. He was wearing black jeans and a black shirt and held the
microphone with two bony hands. His long, pointed teeth could be seen every time he opened his mouth to sing. Standing
next to him was a tall lady playing a bass guitar and dressed in red and black. 'Two vampires.'
"It's Bill and Linda!" cried Susie.
Brian had to take another look. It was difficult to tell without the make-up.
"Oh my gosh, it really is them!" said Brian.
Next to Bill and Linda, there was a guitar floating in the air and rocking to the music. Immediately behind the guitar
was a shirt, tie and trousers floating in the air and rocking with the guitar. 'A ghost.'
At the back of the stage were the drums. A pale face looked out from behind them. A female face with large, dark
circles around the eyes, colourless lips and loose skin that seemed to peel off her face and arms. A pale pair of hands sent the
drumsticks crashing down in time with the music. 'A zombie.'
For a second, Brian felt he recognised the face, but he couldn't seem to remember where he had seen it.
After ordering drinks, Brian, Steve and Susie bumped into some old workmates and enjoyed catching up on old times.
"Guys, it's just been AMAZING," shouted Nadia over the music. "The event has just got bigger and bigger."
"That guitarist. Is that... Arnold?" asked Susie.
"That's right!" Nadia replied. "Bill, Linda and Arnold had been talking about starting a band for ages. They're just
FANTASTIC, aren't they?"
"They're awesome," agreed Brian. "And do you know who the drummer is?"
 english-e-reader.net

As Nadia started to answer, the band finished their last song. People began to move past them and towards the bar. The
group moved to a table near the stage and were soon joined by members of the band.
"Long time no see!" called Linda.
"You never told us you were in a band!" said Steve.
As the group continued to greet each other, Brian felt a light tap on his shoulder from something wooden.
"Fancy seeing you here, Brian," said a familiar voice.
He turned around to see a pair of pale hands holding drumsticks. Looking up, he saw a pair of colourless lips smiling at
him. The smile seemed to spread from the lips, to the cheeks, to two large, blue eyes with dark circles around them.
He recognised that smile.
"Rachel?" said Brian.
"Surprised to see me?" said the receptionist.
"Just a bit!" replied Brian.
"I started coming to The Sunrise around a month ago and met the guys," said Rachel, taking a seat beside Brian and
Linda. "Linda said they were looking for a drummer, so here I am!"
"And no make-up! That was pretty brave," said Brian.
"Yeah," Rachel replied. "Linda said from the start that they didn't want to hide on stage and it just felt like the right
time."
Brian continued. "You know, I think I was so worried about other people finding out about me that I never stopped to
think there might be other zombies working with me too. How's everything going at work, by the way?"
"Same old, same old," said Rachel. "To be honest, the only time I feel truly 'alive' is when I'm here at The Sunrise."
"I know the feeling," said Brian.
"I asked management about the dress code at work, but they weren't very open to making changes," said Rachel,
looking down at the skin peeling from her hands.
"They said the undead look was too unprofessional," she added.
"You know, we've been looking for a receptionist at Brian's Brains," said Brian.
"And... there's no dress code."
 english-e-reader.net

A word from Brian

Thank you for taking the time to read about my life. It's been a great adventure, that's for sure. But now's just the start
really. Brian's Brains is going to take a lot of hard work and energy but I hope we can make it a success.
I'd love to hear what you thought of my story. I've set up a webpage where you can write something for me if you like:
thelanguageprofessional.com/brian
I respond to every comment, you know.
Oh, and Steve, Susie and Rachel asked me to say 'hi'.
Cheers,
Brian.