The Story of “Frank”, By Troy

Lady Krak-a-lack-en found ships sporting good fun. None better than pirate ships though, with pistols,
rapiers, and cannon fire to spare, they pose an exciting challenge over the monotony of merchants and
their cargo ships. Plus, the rum is a crunchy treat.

Captain David Jones (Jo-en-es) sought to hunt down and conquer every monster of the deep, and none
was more prized than the mighty Kraken. With his pirate crew, he set sail to find her, and enjoy a
healthy dose of pillaging along the way.

On a stormy day, the Captain and his crew finally reached the islands rumored to house her lair.

Lady Krak-a-lack-en, sensing the approaching ship, carefully surfaced to get a good look at her
breakfast. To her joy it flew the skull and crossbones of pirates. She slipped below the surface before
she could be spotted, and planned her attack. She decided that it wasn’t nearly as much fun if they
didn’t know to be prepared, so she hit the ship with a lightning bolt to send them scampering. BOOM

The bright flash rocked the ship with such force, the Captain’s doubts were shook loose, he would
surely defeat the Kraken today.

Cannon smoke filled the air as her tentacles rose around the ship, picking sailors off one by one. The
beast, tired of the abuse the ship had given her, closed in to end the battle, and the Captain spotted his
chance. He grabbed a nearby harpoon, and ran at the Kraken. With a mighty heave the harpoon found
his mark, and, plunging deep, pierced her heart. Lady Krak-a-lack-en spasmed at the sudden shock,
nearly ripping the ship in two. Her tentacles slipped into the water as she died, and the sea and storm
began to calm.

There is lore that the sea must always have one, and only one, Kraken, lest anyone think they might
tame it. Since Captain Jones had the honor of killing the Kraken, he also got the “honor” of taking her
place. With a flash, the Captain was transformed into a form befitting his new role, a Krankenling.

Where the Captain once stood a new monstrosity now sat. Having just lost most of their fellow crew,
their ship, and their Captain, the crew that still remained attacked this new monster before it might
claim their lives.

Confused and wounded the Captain escaped his crew by throwing himself from his ship. As he drifted
with the currents and in and out of consciousness he came to a fevered realization. The eagerness for
conflict he and Lady Krak-a-lack-en shared had taken everything he held dear, and soon his life. As the
world began to fade, surely for the last time, he felt the shore wash against him. A pirate, dying on land,
oh the disgrace.

That’s when I met Frank.*

*He insists his name is not, in fact, Frank. Apparently, David, Dave, Davy, Ken, and El Cap are all fine.
He looks like a Frank though, so I don’t believe a word he says.