Violence

A cycle of abuse or violence generally follows the following pattern:

 Abuse – The abuser initiates aggressive, verbal or physical abuse, designed to control
and oppress the victim.
 Guilt – The abuser feels guilty for inflicting abusive behaviour, primarily out of a
concern of being found guilty of abuse rather than feelings of sympathy for the victim.
 Excuses – Rationalization of the behaviour, including blame and excuses.
 Normal” behaviour – The abuser regains personal control, creates a peaceful phase in
an attempt to make the victim feel in the relationship.
 Fantasy and planning – thinking of what the victim has done wrong how he or she will
be punished and developing a plan to realize the fantasy.
 Set-up – the plan is “put in motion.”

A cyclical nature of domestic violence is most prevalent in intimate terrorism (IT), which
involve a pattern of ongoing control using emotional, physical and other forms of domestic
violence and is what generally leads victims, who are most often women, to women’s shelters.
It is what was traditionally the definition of domestic violence and is generally illustrated with
the “Power and Control Wheel” to illustrate the different and inter-related forms of abuse.
Intimate terrorism is different from situational couple violence, which are isolated incidents of
varying degrees of intensity.

A general, intricate and complicated cycle of traumatic violence and healing map

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Interpersonal Violence (IPV)

Interpersonal Violence (commonly referred to as intimate partner violence, dating violence,

domestic violence, and relationship violence), can encompass a broad range of abusive
behaviour committed by a person who is or has been:

 In a romantic or intimate relationship with the Reporting Party (of the same or
different sex);
 The Reporting Party’s spouse or partner (of the same or different sex);
 The Reporting Party’s family member; or
 The Reporting Party’s cohabitant or household member, including a roommate.

Whether there was such relationship will be gauged by its length, type, and frequency of
interaction. Reports of Interpersonal Violence that do not involve one of these specified
relationships or do not involve an individual’s Protected Status will be resolved under the
Honour Code, which is part of the Instrument of Student Judicial Governance.

Interpersonal Violence includes physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological

actions or threats of actions that a reasonable person in similar circumstances and with similar
identities would find intimidating, frightening, terrorizing, or threatening. Such behaviors may
include threats of violence to one’s self, one’s family member, or one’s pet.

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Interpersonal violence can take many forms and, therefore, no one’s experience is “better” or
“worse” than anyone else’s experience. All forms of interpersonal violence are serious and
detrimental to the physical, emotional, and spiritual health of the person experiencing the
violence. Specific examples may include:

 Threatening to disclose personal/sensitive information (e.g., LGBTQ status, HIV status,

survivor status)
 Destroying property
 Displaying weapons
 Threatening to commit suicide if the other person leaves
 Hurting, or threatening to hurt, pets and/or children
 Limiting access to contraception methods
 Monitoring phone and social media use in an attempt to maintain power over an
individual
 Limiting access to money or transportation in an attempt to make an individual
financially dependent

It is important to remember that it is never the survivor’s fault for being abused. No one EVER
deserves to experience violence or abuse, no matter the circumstances. Often, it is difficult for
those outside the relationship to understand why a survivor may have difficulty leaving the
relationship. Some reasons that survivors may remain in the relationship are:

 fear;
 lack of outside resources (e.g., financial, housing, family);
 love;
 hope or belief that the violence will end;
 religious beliefs; and
 Cultural identities.

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(Batterer intervention programs (BIPs) )