AUSTRALIAN JANUARY 2020 $9.

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NZ $9.99 INC GST

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UNLOCKKEXTRA
BRAINPOWER
PEOPLE’S ASHION
MEN’SFA
CHOICE GOESSGREEN
2020 H
HOW TO
CAST YOUR MAKEFR
RIENDS
VOTE NOW! And keep them!

TAKE YOUR
GLUTEUS TO
THE MAXIMUS
Get your arse into gear
One-oon-One
HIT REFRESH h CrossFit's
with
Rich F
Ric Froning
Your new year
reboot starts now!

Your Lunch-Hour Mood Enhancer

menshealth.com.au

ZIN_MH_0120
 CONTENTS 01.20

20 CrossFit GOAT
Rich Froning isn’t
ready to lie down.
While striving for
yet more titles, he’s
pondering the very
limits of human
athleticism.

COVER GUY:
RICH FRONING
PHOTOGRAPHED BY:
JASON LEE
RICH WEARS:
REEBOK

6 menshealth.com.au

66
Smoking Gun
Vaping is taking off. But is this another
case of where there’s smoke, there’s fire?
54
Men’s Fashion Goes Green
A fresh hue is here to enliven your look
– and put navy and grey in the shade.
110
High Stakes
Fear is your No. 1 performance saboteur.
Cliff divers show you how to tame it.
104
Dirty Salads – For Healthy Appetites
Well, more hearty than dirty – for big,
hungry men who train hard.
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
TACTI CS
p32 Our Kind of Girl
Olympic skier Danielle Scott
wants you to get your arse outside.
p78 The Art of Mateship
Starting friendships is the easy bit.
Here’s how to keep them strong.
FI TN E SS
p119 Country Strong
C & W titan Tim McGraw is in the
house – and training the place down!
p124 Positive Vibes Only
Not every workout needs to sap you.
Here’s one to top up your joie de vivre.
NUT R I TI ON
p40 Let’s Talk Turkey
It’s usually bland, yeah? Not this
Xmas, with these inspired tweaks.
p123 Grate Outdoors
How to turn nachos (with loads of
cheese) into muscle-building fare.
MI ND
p72 Control Freak!
Get a grip on your possessive
instincts – before they take over.
p86 Lift Your Brainpower
How to cast off vagueness and
build an elephantine memory.
MUSCL E
p26 Total-Body Strength
One move – the Rolling Pistol – is your
best shot at a radical power upgrade .
p126 Maximus Gluteus
The leading expert on building a
bigger engine is here to help you.
January 2020 7
 E D I T O R’S L E T T E R
Men's Health Australia @MensHealthAU @MensHealthAU menshealth.com.au

STRETCHING THE TRUTH

I learnt a new term this month while jumping on The Game
Changers bandwagon: “flexible morality”. For those living under
a rock – or without access to your wife’s Netflix account – The
Game Changers is a new pro-vegan documentary produced by
SCOTT HENDERSON Editor
Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Cameron and Jackie Chan. Before
you turn the page in a meat-fuelled fit of annoyance, this isn’t a BEN JHOTY Deputy Editor
letter dedicated to plant-based eating. While I’m awakened, I’m DANIEL WILLIAMS Associate Editor
still firmly on the cow juice for the time being. But this concept of DAVID ASHFORD Creative Director
“flexible morality” caught my interest. It refers to our tendency to
justify our decisions and actions as ethically sound, based on our JASON LEE Deputy Art Director
own circumstances, despite having knowledge to the contrary. LAUREN WILLIAMSON Digital Content Manager – Health
It’s something we’re all guilty of from time to time. We know ALEX PIEROTTI Digital Content Editor
the salad is the healthier option, but we’ve had a big day and so we
HARRIET SIM Editorial Coordinator/Junior Writer
rationalise the need for the burger with fries. We know a single-
use coffee cup is bad for the environment, but we forgot our mug TODD LIUBINSKAS Fitness Director
and, hey, “one cup won’t hurt” on our morning commute. We ERIN DOCHERTY Grooming Writer
download that podcast series with every intention of expanding
our minds, but the lure of a Netflix binge proves too strong.
There’s nothing wrong with balance, of course. But as a
reader of Men’s Health you’ve no doubt come aboard in pursuit of
knowledge – knowledge that will set you off on a healthier course.
As the great Bruce Lee said: “The quest for truth is only useful if
you’re prepared to action on what you find”. CLARISSA WILSON KATHY GLAVAS
As we begin a brand-new year, in which we set ourselves fresh Brand Solutions Director Head of Health
goals and encounter unfamiliar challenges, I encourage you to JESSICA LAY COURTENAY MCDERMOTT
heed the wisdom you’ll find in these pages. Arm yourself with the Brand Solutions Manager Senior Marketing Manager – Health
knowledge and strength you need to implement the strategies
CALVIN SIMPSON JOHN GUMAPAS
you know work for you. Make informed, healthy decisions. And
Brand Solutions Coordinator Production Controller
dominate 2020 while applying the least amount of “flexible
morality” as possible. The choice is yours. ANDREW CAMERON PHIL CAMERON
Speaking of choice (and seamless segues), we’re excited to Executive Creative Director Digital Imaging Specialist
announce a Men’s Health first: our 2020 People’s Choice cover, ALEX DALRYMPLE ALLAN WEBSTER
coming to newsstands and digital platforms in March. We’re Multimedia Content Producer Advertising Operations Manager
pitting two Centr experts, Bobby Holland Hanton and Luke JEREMY SUTTON
Zocchi, against each other in a campaign to rival any political Group Subscriptions Manager
showdown (p. 44). I’ve gotten to know both Bobby and Luke well
over the years, and there’s really no wrong choice in this case. As
GEREURD ROBERTS Chief Executive Officer, Pacific Magazines
you’ll learn over the next two months of campaigning, there could
hardly be two more deserving cover men for our March issue. GUY TORRE Chief Financial Officer
Voting is now open through menshealth.com.au, so jump online LOUISA HATFIELD Group Content and Brand Director
and let us know whose mug you want to see gracing the cover of NICOLE BENCE Commercial Director
MH in March.
MARK BOORMAN Group Production Manager

RICHARD DORMENT KIM ST. CLAIR BODDEN

Editor in Chief, SVP/Editorial
Scott Henderson Men’s Health US & Brand Director
menshealth@pacificmags.com.au
m SIMON HORNE CHLOE O’BRIEN
SVP/Managing Director Deputy Brands Director
Asia Pacific & Russia SHELLEY MEEKS
RICHARD BEAN Executive Director,
The King and I: Director of International Licensing Content Services
Hen
nderson, right, and Business Development
th Froning (and MH
wit
snapper Jason Lee).
Pacific Magazines, Media City,
8 Central Avenue, Eveleigh, NSW 2015
Phone: (02) 9394 2000 Fax: (02) 9394 2319
Subscription enquiries: 1300 668 118
Men’s Health is excited to be an official Printing Bluestar Web, 83 Derby Street, Silverwater NSW 2128. Distribution Gordon & Gotch.
Published 12 times a year. Registered business name Pacific Magazines Pty Ltd, (ABN) 16 097 410
Australian Olympic Team Partner. We look 896. All rights reserved. Title and trademark Men’s Health © Hearst Magazines International.
forward to supporting our Olympians and No part of this publication may be reproduced without prior written permission. Men’s Health is a
registered trademark and the unauthorised use of this trademark is strictly prohibited.
Paralympians on the road to Tokyo.

8 menshealth.com.au
 ASK MH

THE BIG QUESTION

Even when it’s not injured,

my lower back hurts. Is this GET TO WORK ON
CONSTRUCTING A
something I just have to live with? DC STRONG CORE AND PUT
BACK PAIN ON NOTICE.

There are few things we just have

to live with, DC – and chronic
lower-back pain isn’t one of them.
If you’re a tallish guy who’s been
sporty all your life while
simultaneously holding down a desk
job, some grating in your lumbar
spine is almost inevitable. But a new
meta-analysis by Deakin University’s
Institute for Physical Activity and
Nutrition has confirmed the value
of being proactive when it comes
to keeping back pain under control.
The world-first study found that
active treatments, including Pilates,
stabilisation moves and weight
training, were the most effective
forms of exercise for managing
mild-to-moderate back pain with a
non-specific cause. “In contrast, the
least likely treatments to be effective
included hands-off treatments, such
as only educating people about
chronic pain or doing psychological
interventions alone,” says lead
researcher Associate Professor
Daniel Belavy. Likewise, as
comforting as they may feel,
sessions of massage or acupuncture
were found to be of limited efficacy.
“There’s a common
misconception that if
someone is in pain, they
should be resting, but our
research shows that when the
pain has been there for a long
time, exercise is an important
part of treatment,” Belavy
said. Our advice: Google
spine guru Stuart McGill’s “Big
Three” exercises for back pain
and start the program tonight.

10 menshealth.co
o m.au
ANCIENT SOLUTION TO
A MODERN PROBLEM
Q My girlfriend’s bugging me to go to
a climate-change protest. How can
I tell her I couldn’t be arsed?
A The price good men pay for
indifference to public affairs is
to be ruled by evil men.
–Plato; b. circa 428BC
ASK THE GIRLS IN THE OFFICE
Ask the MH girls the questions you can’t ask anyone else. They’re three
women who speak their mind, so don’t expect sugar-coated answers
Q I’m not proud to admit it
but I’ve cheated on
previous girlfriends. My new
wouldn’t want to know straight
up. I reckon it would make me
super-paranoid – even if he’s
your girlfriend about your past,
and as a couple, you aren’t able to
get beyond that, I reckon she
girlfriend just confessed she never done anything wrong in might not fully trust you, anyway.
never has. What’s my play? our relationship. Lucy Totally. Where do you guys
Is it okay to lie? -Steve Harriet But would you rather stand on the whole “once-a-
know than find out later and feel cheater-always-a-cheater” thing?
Lizza Tricky. I reckon if she hasn’t like it had been kept a secret, and Lizza I think if you’ve cheated

TEXT A PT
I’m tired of the same old weights
moves. Can you suggest a
change-up?
Sure. But this move isn’t newfangled.
It was a staple of the golden era of
bodybuilding that’s fallen out of
favour. It’s called the straight-arm
dumbbell pullover.
asked you directly, then you don’t
have to volunteer the info,
because you haven’t cheated
on her. But if she does ask you,
you’ve just got to grow a pair and
be honest.
Harriet Agreed. Lies always
catch up with you and could
really damage the trust in your
relationship later on.
Lucy If it were me and my BF had
cheated on a girl in the past, I
then his excuse is, “Well, you
never asked”?
Lucy I don’t expect him to come
home and casually drop it into
the convo, but if the topic comes
up around cheating, I guess I’d
expect him to tell me. You just
gotta trust that he learned from
past mistakes.
Lizza Relationships are all about
trust, right? If you don’t have that,
you have fuck-all. So, if you tell
Fire off your query to facebook.com/MensHealthAU
once, doesn’t mean you’ll cheat
with future partners. I also think
too that as you get older, you
realise what a rarity it is to find
someone you do life well with, so
you’re less likely to jeopardise it.
Lucy I do think that if a person
has gotten away with cheating
once, there’s a strong likelihood
they’ll do it again. BUT . . . that’s
not to say a person can’t change,
especially for the right person.

Oh yeah, I think I’ve seen it in

Arnold’s encyclopedia. Maybe it
disappeared for a reason?

Well, no good one. It’s a great HARRIET

upper-body exercise that hits your LUCY LIZZA
chest, triceps, lats and abs like no
other. I see the difference in clients’
physiques when they add 3-4 sets
of straight-arm pullovers to
their routine.

OK. Any performance tips?

Control the weight on the way down,

really feeling the stretch in your lats
at the bottom. Go for relatively high
reps: 15-20.

I’ll give it a crack.

You won’t regret it. And you’re right

to mention Arnie by the way –
he swore by it.

Ben Williams PT,

pymble@northshoregym.com.au

January 2020 11
 "     
        "          


SWIPE LEFT ON HIT SNOOZE

ON YOUR
SWEET TOOTH

YOUR CRAVINGS Keep the lid on your sugar

habit with our pick and
mix of simple tips
Late-night Candy Crush binges are fuelling your DON’T SUGAR-
COAT THE HARM OF
real-world sugar habit. Switch off weight gain SCREEN LIGHT.
THREE SQUARE
IT’S NO SECRET that we’re all slaves Eating regular meals that
to our screens, but some of us might have a good macro split
want to keep under the covers just between protein, quality
how far it goes. In Australia, as many
carbs and healthy fats will
as 70 per cent of adults take their
help to maintain satiety and
prevent your blood-sugar
smartphones to bed with them* and
levels from plummeting.
many continue to check it through
the night. But this isn’t yet another
story warning of blue light’s ability to
sabotage sleep. Rather, it’s about
how your late-night habits, whether SNACK RIGHT
scrolling, streaming or sliding into The magnesium in nuts
DMs, could be to blame for your and dark chocolate
slowly expanding waistline. improves cells’ sensitivity
According to a rodent study to insulin and maximises
conducted by the Society for the the amount of sugar that
Study of Ingestive Behavior, exposure your body can metabolise
to blue light is directly linked to sugar to cut spikes and crashes.
cravings and, as a result, your inability
to keep your hands off the fridge
door. The researchers found that
male rats that were shown blue light
WORDS: MILLIE WEST; PHOTOGRAPHY: JOBE LAWRENSON; *ABC SCIENCE WEEK SMARTPHONE SURVEY

at night experienced cravings for

EXTRA HELPINGS
sweet foods the following day. Worse
Add spices, such as
cinnamon, to your meals
still, they displayed a reduction in
and snacks. Studies have
glucose tolerance caused by spikes
shown that they could help
in blood sugar – a warning sign to improve blood-sugar
of pre-diabetes. control. Sprinkle a spoonful
And your phone-related lack of on your morning oats.
sleep isn’t helping, either. Sleep
deprivation has been proven to
increase the production of ghrelin, a
hormone that triggers hunger, while
reducing your levels of satiety GET MOVING
hormone leptin. That means you’ll Combat stress with regular
find it harder to feel full, no matter exercise. Not only will this
how many Krispy Kremes you reduce anxiety, it will also
shovel down. top up your energy levels,
Banishing screens from the which is a major factor in
bedroom – or, at least, limiting your why people seek out sugar
nocturnal blue-light exposure with an in the first place.
app such as F.lux or Twilight – is the
simplest solution. Trust us, that “U
up?” text can wait until the morning.

JANUARY 2020 13
 "     
        "          


CARVE OUT YOUR SEASON’S EATINGS

Update your summer shopping
list with these foods to cash in

BEST-EVER BODY on more benefits per mouthful

Monstrous gym schedule to tackle? Tucking into a

PEAR DUCK
certain orange vegetable can help you chase the pump Fights diabetes Extra muscle
BRO SCIENCE HAS LONG ENDORSED energy. A study published in Plos One
the value of sweet potato to your found that lab rats covered twice as
fitness-and-nutrition regimen. All those many kilometres on a treadmill after
BEETROOT TURKEY
vitamins and minerals in a tasty, low-GI being fed a combo of lutein and milk.
New stamina Better sleep
package make it a winner on your plate. As well as an increase in the rats’ AMPK
But sweet spud isn’t the only Trump- levels, the researchers saw heightened
coloured side worthy of a place in the activity in the enzyme CPT1, which
vegetable hall of fame. Pumpkins are helps your mitochondria to burn fat.
rich in lutein, a carotenoid that helps to If you want to take the fear out KALE OYSTER
protect your eyes from the damaging of a new gym regimen, help Bolstered immunity All-day energy
components of sunlight. Less well yourself to an extra-large slice
known is its ability to stimulate muscle of pumpkin pie, washing it
cells and enhance your appetite for down with full-fat milk to
physical activity. improve nutrient
Lutein boosts levels of AMPK, an absorption. Let biology
SCULPT NEW MUSCLE
enzyme that stimulates muscle cells to take care of the rest.
WITH A HEFTY HELPING
develop when they’re running low on You’ll squash it. OF PUMPKIN.

WORDS: LOUEE DESSENT-JACKSON; PHOTOGRAPHY: COLIN BEAGLEY

14 MENSHEALTH.COM.AU
 "     
        "     
    


POWER DOWN WORK STRESS

It may be months before your next holiday, but just 15 minutes
of meditation will press your reset button. Deep breath, now
It’S A SAD REALITY of modern life that In the study, test subjects who took practising the correct technique to
unpaid overtime regularly spills into your part in a brief meditation session on benefit. The results of this particular
weekend. With work emails beamed work days reported feeling more study held true even for beginners. Keep
directly to your pocket at all hours, positive and having better control of up your new habit for eight weeks and
you’ve probably developed a warped their emotions. Performing the the implications for your work-life
sense of “time off”. That chronic inability mindfulness exercise ahead of the daily balance could be profound. A study in
to chill will slowly but surely lead to grind led to greater equanimity the International Journal of Stress
burnout. Fortunately, researchers at the throughout the day. Impressively, the Management found that meditation
University of Groningen have found a benefits of the 15-minute session were reduced anxiety and increased feelings
solution: a way to refresh your brain roughly equivalent to those of taking an of wellbeing in overworked health-care
and mental wellbeing, pronto. And it afternoon off. staff, who are among the most stressed
doesn’t involve a panic-booking session Gratifyingly, you don’t need to spend out of all professionals. Close your eyes
on Skyscanner. months wearing orange robes and and go to your happy place.

FIND BALANCE IN
YOUR DAILY GRIND
WITH A 15-MINUTE
MINI-BREAK.

WORDS: LOUEE DESSENT-JACKSON; PHOTOGRAPHY: JOBE LAWRENSON; *UNIVERSITY OF SUSSEX

GET IN PRACTISE YOGA TRY LIFE DRAWING GO DANCING READ A NOVEL

THE ZONE It boosts your flexibility Research shows that anxiety Dancing has a positive Burying yourself in a
If meditation doesn’t and eases back pain, but levels drop significantly effect on your mood by good book can lower
appeal, try these more yoga also helps your when drawing, banishing allowing your body to stress by 68 per cent*
active alternatives brain to disengage. your office blues. express emotion. and boost your empathy.

16 MENSHEALTH.COM.AU

GIVE FAT-BURNING
THE GREEN LIGHT
Think you can’t teach an old veg new tricks? Fresh weight-loss discoveries
have raised broccoli from tired side to modish superfood once more
ALONGSIDE PLAIN CHICKEN breasts
and brown rice, broccoli stands atop the
gym-goer’s nutritional podium. But
despite an impressive vitamin and
mineral profile, its inclusion in any
post-workout menu rarely inspires
enthusiasm; we eat it out of duty,
invariably served in Tupperware.
However, if your appetite for the veg
is waning, new Japanese research
linking broccoli to a healthy spike in
metabolism should revive your relish for
‘midget trees’, if not quite to Joe Wicks’
levels. Sulforaphane, a phytochemical
found in broccoli sprouts, has long been
touted for its anti-carcinogenic
properties. But now its more tangible
18 MENSHEALTH.COM.AU
"     
        "     
    

USE BROCCOLI TO REIGNITE
YOUR FAT-BURNING GOALS
– AND OUR TWEAKS (BELOW)
TO SPARK YOUR TASTEBUDS.
THE
TASTEMAKERS
Partner your broccoli with
these accompaniments for
delicious, fat-loss combos
BRING THE HEAT
Coat florrets in oil and
turmeric then roast. The
active compound curcumin
causes fat cells to turn
brown. Fourth Military Med
University in China
DO YOUR
CRUNCHES
effect on obesity has been
scientifically proven. A study by
Mix stir-fried broccoli with
WORDS: LOUEE DESSENT-JACKSON; ILLUSTRATION: PETER CROWTHER
crushed peanuts. Research
Kanazawa Uni found the chemical uses
shows that people who
two mechanisms for fighting flab. Firstly,
regularly eat peanuts are
it activates brown fat cells, stoking your 3kg lighter than others.
metabolism to burn kilojoules. Secondly, University of Otago
and notably, it reverses the effects
of high-fat food on your gut biome
to reduce inflammation and halt
weight gain.
Still, this is no reason to joylessly COOL DOWN
chew through piles of bland, boiled Serve broccoli with
greens. Add flavour – and more benefits a yoghurt dip to keep you
besides – with our simple tweaks (right). fuller for longer. Mix low-fat
Then bring it back to your al-desko yoghurt, garlic, lemon rind
lunches and keep torching fat long after and mayo then season.
your plate, or Tupperware, is cleared. University of Missouri
 Don’t let aches and pains
interrupt your training
Don’t let sore muscles, aches and pains interrupt your training
schedule–Nature’s Way Magnesium has you covered.
Like Nature’s Way High Strength Magnesium 600mg that
combines 4 forms of magnesium to help support muscle
function, relieve mild muscle cramps and spasms and muscle
stiffness when dietary intake is inadequate.
And Nature’s Way Magnesium Gel + Arnica is an easy to apply
gel blended with Arnica that is traditionally used in Western
herbal medicine to help relieve muscle aches and pains and
mild muscle inflammation.
Nature’s Way Magnesium range can help you get back on your
bike, the gym, the track or the court, sooner.

Available at leading
Supermarkets & Pharmacies
Always read the label. Follow the directions for use. If symptoms persist, talk to your health professional.
Vitamin and mineral supplements can only be of assistance if dietary intake is inadequate. CHC73874-0819
 A+
COVER GUY

FACE OFF: FRONING

STARES DOWN HIS
ANGRY ALTER EGO.

WOD GOD
Arguably the greatest athlete in the history of the
CrossFit Games, four-time champion Rich Froning
manages to retain an air of calm at all times. It’s a quality
that infuriates his competition yet endears him to his
teammates and brands alike. It turns out 10 years of
hoisting barbells overhead is the perfect preparation for
carrying the weight of an entire sport on your shoulders
BY SCOTT HENDERSON PHOTOGRAPHY BY JASON LEE

20 menshealth.com.au
Advantage+
STAY AHEAD OF THE GAME

WALKING INTO Brisbane’s notorious

CrossFit Torian gym on a sweltering
day, it isn’t multiple CrossFit Games
champion Rich Froning who catches
my attention. Well, it is and it isn’t.
My gaze is immediately drawn to a
2.5-metre high mural of Froning’s face,
a striking tribute to one of the sport’s
pioneers, and a suitably imposing
image to confront upon entering one of
this country’s foremost CrossFit boxes.
“I don’t know why they chose a shot
of me looking so cross,” muses Froning,
his laidback attitude jarring with the
ferocious intent captured in his painted
visage. There are only two murals on
the wall of Torian. Froning’s and that
of local CrossFit hero Tia Toomey,
who’s also here today gazing up at
her own painted image.
It’s not really surprising that
Froning’s face adorns the wall of a
gym on the other side of the globe from
his native Tennessee. The sport of
CrossFit wouldn’t be the cult it is
today without him.
The term GOAT gets thrown
around far too freely these days, and
in a sport as young as CrossFit, it’s
perhaps foolish to laud one athlete over
all others. But given the incredible
physical demands of the ‘sport of
fitness’, perhaps an exception can
be made. After all, it takes a man
blessed with singular determination
and a unique capacity for hard work
to reach the dizzying heights Froning
has achieved.
CrossFit has been the fastest-
growing sport in the world over
the last 10 years, creating cult-like
communities across the globe and
superstars out of its athletes. “I was
just kind of doing my job and I wanted

January 2020 21
 A+
COVER GUY
to compete,” Froning says casually
between 100kg ‘warm up’ snatches.
That’s seriously downplaying his
position as possibly the fittest all-round
athlete ever to walk the earth, but
perhaps no surprise – his commitment
to humility is literally tattooed on his
body. “May I never boast except in the
cross of our Lord Jesus Christ,” reads
Galatians 6:14, the bible verse inscribed
down his side, often hidden beneath his
mountainous biceps.
As humble as he may be, though,
only one other man has dominated the
CrossFit competition floor to the extent
Froning has: Mat Fraser. And while
the Froning vs Fraser debate remains
22 menshealth.com.au
unsettled (in 2019 Fraser equalled
Froning’s record of four consecutive
Games titles), no one can argue with the
profile and prestige Froning brought to
the sport in its formative years, even if
he didn’t realise it at the time.
And it’s perhaps this ambivalence
about his influence that truly defines
Froning. This is a man at the top of
his sport, answering questions between
muscle-ups, posing for selfies with
fans and keeping his Reebok bosses at
bay. It’s how you imagine a champion
of fitness to behave – always training.
Because for Froning, being the fittest
man on Earth is more than just a
career. It’s his way of life.
TEAM PLAYER:
FRONING REMAINS
HUMBLE DESPITE
HIS ACHIEVEMENTS.
MH: Let’s go back to the beginning.
What first drew you to CrossFit?
RF: Growing up playing sports says a
lot about who I am as a competitor. I’m
one of 32 first cousins on my mum’s
side, 25 of us are boys and the girls are
just as competitive as us. And so, my
whole life has just involved some
type of competition. After college,
I was a firefighter and I was kind of
missing that competitive piece. Then
I found CrossFit.
Honestly, I just enjoyed working out.
My undergrad degree was in exercise
science and I didn’t even know there
was a competition until about a month
or two into doing CrossFit.
I was like, “Oh, all right, let’s see
how this goes”. As they say, “The rest
is history”.
MH: Why do you think CrossFit
fosters a ‘cult’ community more than
other sports?
RF: Well, the cool thing is I’ve been
all over the world to different CrossFit
gyms, spoken different languages
and things like that, but it’s the same
community and it attracts the
same type of people. It’s a super
supportive community.
And I think there’s that shared
suffering. You’re doing a similar
workout and you know everybody’s
suffering together.
People may not be able to do the
exact same movements, but they can
do a similar type of workout and scale
it and they just feel more connected.
Back home you could play football and
go play out in the yard, but you can’t
strap the pads on and see where you
line up against the professionals. With
CrossFit, you can actually do a workout
that we do and see where you stack
up, which gives you a little bit more
connection. Because you understand
what we’re going through as top-of-
the-line athletes. But as top-of-the-
line athletes, we understand what
somebody who’s just walking into the
gym feels like too. It’s pretty cool.
MH: You’re vocal about your faith.
How does that play into CrossFit?
RF: My faith is a huge part of who I am
and why I do what I do. I feel like the
talents that I’ve been given are my way
to glorify God. I don’t want to say that
God makes me win or anything like
that. But it lets me separate my athletic
profession. Because I know I’m going
to be okay no matter what happens.
My faith in Christ, that’s what defines
who I am, not where I finish on the
podium or if I finish on the podium.
MH: There have been recent changes
in the structure of the competition
[controversial new competition
calendars have eliminated certain
events] but across your CrossFit
career, what are the biggest changes
you’ve seen in the sport?
RF: That’s the biggest change. When
I started there were things called
Sectionals. Now it’s Sanctionals, which
are similar to the Sectional model
except that Sectionals fed Regionals
before the Open. I think the changes
are good for the athletes. You have
more opportunities to compete. If
you qualify but you still want to go
make some money, you can go to
“THAT’SONEOFCROSSFIT’S
MAINTHINGS:‘HEY, GET OUT
THERE AND USE YOUR FITNESS’”
some of these local Sanctionals
and/or have sponsors pay for you
to go. It’s another way to make money
and get some exposure. You know,
for athletes to monetise being athletes.
I do think there needs to be some
type of standardisation, not really
to the workouts themselves but
somebody needs to be checking
on how the workouts are conducted
because you’ve got to have a balanced
test or it’s not fair. You can change
who wins an event through the
programming, especially in the
teams’ category. You can gear it
more towards the female with heavy
stuff or light stuff. There needs to be
some type of standardisation.
MH: Do you see the new structure
having an impact on the events that
we’re seeing in competition?
RF: I don’t think so. I think as long as
Dave [Castro] is the one programming
across the Games, you’ll still see a well-
rounded, well-balanced test.
MH: In professional sport in
2019, there’s a huge emphasis on
partnerships, especially with brands
supporting athletes. And now you
have gear designed specifically
by athletes. How important is it for
athletes to have that direct input into
the gear they’re using?
RF: It’s huge. Reebok and Rogue are
some of my longest sponsors and
both of them have a direct impact
on the CrossFit Games because we
use Rogue equipment and we wear
Reebok apparel and shoes.
Rogue has been a CrossFit
company from day one and it’s just
grown as we’ve grown. With Reebok,
it’s been cool to see them actually take
the input we’ve given them as athletes.
They’ll come to us with something and
we’re like, “No”. And they’re like, “Oh,
okay”. And then they totally redo it. If
we can’t perform in it, we can’t wear it.
MH: What’s the strangest event
you’ve seen at the CrossFit Games?
RF: There are many things that we’ve
done where you’re like, “Wow, that was
interesting”. Having played baseball,
the softball toss for me [in the 2011
CrossFit Games], was fine. I was
completely okay with that.
But you look at something like the
handstand walk obstacle. You’ve got
pegboards and some of that stuff.
Every year I feel like there’s something
new that’s added. That’s a testament
to the athletes in that we have to be
ready for anything. You need to learn
and play new sports. That’s one of CULT FIGURE: FRONING
CrossFit’s main things: “Hey, get out INSPIRES AWE AND
and actually use your fitness”. And I RESPECT IN THE
think that’s what a lot of people get too CROSSFIT COMMUNITY.
January 2020 23
 A+
COVER GUY
caught up in – being in the gym and
not getting out and playing sports.
MH: How has your approach to
fitness changed over your career?
RF: It’s definitely evolved. Because
every year I think it changes just a little
bit because of the different demands
of the sport.
Over the years it’s been a learning
experience and that’s the difference
today. I feel like everybody does
something similar in their training
because they’ve all learned from what
some of us who were there at the
beginning have done. I’ve been doing
it for 10 or 11 years now and I still enjoy
trying to figure things out.
MH: With time pressure, what do you
prioritise in your training?
RF: You try not to prioritise anything.
You try to be as well-rounded as you
can. My weaknesses are usually in
some of the endurance-type stuff, so
that’s what I concentrate a bit more on.
I try to get in, warm up, get moving,
maybe build some endurance stuff
into my warm-up and then you can do
a workout. Especially with three kids,
that’s been the fun part.
MH: You’re notorious for your
chocolate milk-based diet. Has your
approach to diet changed?
RF: The last year I’ve also taken to
intermittent fasting. I love it. I do the
16-8. I feel great. Blood work has been
24 menshealth.com.au
done and come back a couple of
times and I’ve done really well. It’s also
worked really well for my schedule.
My big problem was I would eat in the
morning, get busy throughout the day
and wouldn’t eat until night.
Now, we’ll start training about 9:30,
go to about 12:30-1, then again from
3:30 until about 5:30-6. I start eating
at 1 and then I’ll try to eat once or twice
or take a shake or two within that
two-or-three-hour period between
training sessions. That was the big
thing. Now I feel good for that second
training session where I used to just
feel run down.
MH: What do you credit your CrossFit
longevity to? Is it the diet?
RF: I think genetics is a huge part of it.
But also trying to take care of my body,
especially the last couple of years as
I’ve got a little older. And just being
able to go get some body work done
once a week versus waiting until
things snowball so bad that I’m
pushing an injury.
MH: And what kind of body work are
you doing?
RF: I worked with a chiro and he
does some manual therapy type
stuff, some acupuncture. I’ll do
some dry needling, anything all-
encompassing. Like I said, the big
thing is doing that on a regular basis
versus waiting to get hurt and then
going and doing it.
RAISING THE BAR: THE
CROSSFIT GAMES ARE
LIKE CHRISTMAS
FOR FRONING.
“AS SOON AS THE
MH: You’re now competing in the
teams’ events rather than individual.
How does that differ?
RF: It’s way more fun. Just being able
to share it with other people. You know,
everybody’s like, “You should come
back as an individual”. I just don’t have
that. I don’t want to do that anymore.
[Competing as an individual] was
fun in the moment. But it’s super
nerve-wracking and it got old. Being
able to train with the team day in, day
out and see the sacrifice they put in
every day to push that much harder on
the floor is amazing.
I grew up a team-sports guy. I
played baseball, some football. I was
always on a team, so competing as an
individual was miserable for years. But I
obviously enjoyed it.
MH: With all that you’ve achieved,
what are your goals now?
RF: We always joke that it’s kind of like
Christmas when you’re a kid where
you have all this build-up, then at the
end of the year Christmas happens
and you’re like, “Wow, that was
awesome”. But, the next day it’s like,
“Aw, Christmas is another 364 days
away”. And it’s just the way it is for us
with the Games. As soon as the Games
are over, the goal for next year is to win
the CrossFit Games.
I want to keep competing as long
as I’m still healthy, I’m not a burden on
my team or a burden on my family and
I still enjoy what I’m doing. Every year
the goal is to win the CrossFit Games
and that’s it.
MH: With three kids, how do you
balance family life and being a
professional athlete?
RF: It’s tough. There are some days
where I do a really good job of it and
other days I’m really bad at it. And so, I
try not to get too high on myself when I
think I’ve done a great job or too low on
myself when I’ve done a bad job.
I get to spend a lot more time with
my kids than most 9 to 5 parents. If
they can, and they want to, I’ll take my
kids wherever I’m going. Luckily, at our
GAMES ARE OVER,
THE GOAL FOR NEXT
YEAR IS TO WIN THE
CROSSFIT GAMES”

house where the barn [aka Froning’s
home gym] is 150 yards [137m] from
the house, the kids can go back and
forth. They love playing on the rings
and swinging on the barbell or on the
bar. And it’s just cool to see the things
they pick up on. It gives you a little bit
of new motivation because I’ve never
once told them, “Hey, let’s go do a
workout”. But now, they want to work
out and they want to be a part of it.
We’ll be doing handstand push-ups
and I’ll look over and my son is trying to
kick up and he can’t. I mean, he’s 2. And
just seeing him swing on the rings. My
oldest has a barbell and she’ll just start
doing a workout. It’s cool to see the
things you impact and you’re not even
trying to, you know? I’m just doing my
job. But they don’t see it as that. They
EYES ON THE PRIZE: your job. Because they’re the reason I
FRONING SAYS get to do what I do and make a living
CROSSFITTERS WILL
CONTINUE TO PUSH
THE LIMITS.
from it. So, you want to give back in
those situations.
As long as it’s not in the middle of a
RAPID FIRE
workout, I’m good. I always joke, “One
day, nobody’s going to want a picture
with me so I might as well take a couple Favourite
while they do”. movement?
Snatch or muscle-up
MH: People are getting stronger and
fitter. Where do you think the limit of Least favourite
human performance is? movement?
Running. 100 per cent
RF: Good question. I’m sure there’s
obviously a top level, it happens Cheat meal?
in most sports. Especially with Apple pie
CrossFit, it’s like, what is that? What
is that balance? You’re obviously Top workout song?
going to see people get super I like worship music,
strong, but are they going to be able so anything by
to run? Or people might get Kristian Stanfill.
super-fast, but their strength
What do you do on
numbers may come down. I’m not
your rest day?
really sure. I think we’ll continue to I don’t really have
see people moving forward. When one. I feel better
somebody does something else, when I move every
there’s a new bar to reach and that day. Even if it’s just a
motivates people. swim or a bike.
see it as a little bit of motivation, so it’s
very eye-opening and it’s kind of scary,
too. You think, those are things I’ve not
told them. What stupid things do I do
that they pick up on? It’s awesome, but
it’s a tough job, too.
MH: Do you feel that same pressure
to set a good example beyond
your own family – in the wider
CrossFit community?
RF: In the beginning I never really
thought about it. Now, as I’m getting
older, you reflect a little bit more. You
start to think, “All right, what kind of
impact am I having?”
When I come to events and there’s
pictures and people want to do all that
stuff, you try to take as much time as
you can without it affecting you doing
January 2020 25
 A+
MUSCLE

STAND TALL
S
F your parting
For
sshot, drive
through h the floor to
TAKE AIM AT EVERY MUSCLE GROUP WWITH THE bring yoour body up and
T A HIGH-
ROLLING PISTOL, YOUR BEST SHOT AT stand. AAs you reach
CALIBRE POWER UPGRADE. PREPARE TO FIRE the top,, squeeze your
glutes to finish the
move w with your hips.
THE ERA OF MIRROR BALANCING ACT Now, slo owly sit back
muscles has passed. With Hold your arms in into the
e squat and roll
the emphasis on functional front of you as your down under control.
fitness never more acute, weeight transfers to your foot. Reload, and go again.
now is the time to train Ensure the load stays evenly
for strength, not just size. disstributed from your heel to
Think of it as laying strong your toe, and the centre of
foundations for future gains. your knee stays in line witth
But before you set your sights the middle of your foot. WHAT
on a double-bodyweight back YOU’LL
squat, allow us to suggest a GAIN
move that doesn’t require
queuing for a free rack and is
a lot gentler on your joints: the
weighted rolling pistol.
“Along with the full-body
flexion, it’s a very advanced
single-leg squat variation,” CRUNCH
H TIME SQ UAT
Take a deepp
SUPREMACY
says PT Andy Vincent. The
full-body flexion means you’re breath, then work
using every muscle to stand your core. With yoour
up. Plus, by working on one arms held out straaight,
leg, you engage all the smaller perform a rapid crunch,
stabiliser muscles, as well as rolling your shoulder
the large ones in your legs. blades and mid-back off
You have to go slow, ep that
the floor fast. Kee H A RD -CO RE ABS
too. Vincent warns against foot up.
blasting through reps.
Instead, focus on a full range
of motionn an
and time u
tensioon. Wor
W rk up tot three
th e setst
of six reps on eac
each s to o kick-
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start your progress and d le
let the WI DE RA N GE
OF MOT IO N
good times roll.

GET SET
Lying on your
back with one leg
o the floor, position
off
t heel of your other
the
leg close to your
g
glutes and keep
START HERE

PHOTOGRAPHY: PHILIP HAYNES

it flat on the ground.

WORDS: MICHAEL JENNINGS;

H
Hold a weight plate
b
behind your head
f counterbalance
for ce..

26 me
enshealth.com.au
 A+
RELATIONSHIPS

BATTLEFIELD: HOME FRONT

MY WIFE AND I NEVER ARGUED ABOUT CHORES. THEN WE HAD A KID. THE PROBLEMS
PILED UP, AND SO WE FOLLOWED A PLAN FOR FAIRNESS SET FORTH IN THE NEW
BOOK FAIR PLAY. AFTER A MONTH OF MADNESS, HERE’S WHAT WE LEARNED
BY PAUL KITA IT’S 7:15 on a Tuesday night called me out on my parenting an exposed wall outlet or lamp
and I’m neatly folding my abilities during a family vacation. cord and my wife had to jump in
wife’s underwear. This is not She recounted how, at a brewery to rescue him. I didn’t know it at
something I usually do. This is earlier in the day, I had watched the time, but I’d been relying on
not something I usually want to as our son picked up two mason Meghan to do more than her fair
do. But right now, in the name jars filled with crayons and began share of mental labour – those
of domestic serenity, and quite banging them together. household tasks that demand vast
possibly for the sake of our family, “You just kind of stood there. stores of cognitive energy – on
I am gingerly doubling over each Like you weren’t worried he might my behalf.
pair of panties and tucking them shatter them and hurt himself,” “If this isn’t something we can
into her top drawer. My wife is Meghan said. fix, I’m not sure I’ll ever want to
putting our toddler to bed and I admitted to her that I hadn’t have another kid,” she said.
I’m thinking to myself, Well, thought that might happen. It was If my own wife couldn’t
this is weird. like previous times, when I’d let trust me with our child, then
This all started when my wife our son get dangerously close to perhaps I had to become better

28 menshealth.com.au

at undertaking those mentally
demanding jobs – like watching
our son closely so that he doesn’t
accidentally shock himself.
The prospect of another kid
wasn’t the only thing at risk.
Women who felt that they bore
the majority of the mental labour
inherent in running a household
were also likelier to feel empty,
less satisfied with life and less
emotionally and physically
intimate with their partners,
Oklahoma State University
and Arizona State University
“You could fool yourself into thinking
that, well, men spend more time at
work, so we’ve earned our time off”
researchers found this year.
On top of all this mental
labour, women are doing the
majority of the housework,
despite the fact that more of them
have jobs. In 1965, women spent
on average 42 hours a week on
housework and childcare and
nine hours on paid work. In 2016,
they spent 32 hours a week on
those domestic duties and almost
tripled their paid work hours.
Men today, by comparison,
spend 43 hours a week on paid
work and only 18 on housework
and childcare.
You could fool yourself into
thinking that, well, men spend
more time at work, so we’ve
earned our time off. Except that
most breadwinning mothers
report that they handle all
(not some) of the family’s
responsibilities, according to
a 2017 survey by the childcare
company Bright Horizons. While
men might be doing slightly more
housework than they were in the
1960s, we’re not doing nearly
enough – and it’s slowly breaking
our partners.
And something happens
when men become fathers. A
2015 study published in the
Journal of Marriage and Family
found that in heterosexual
marriages in which the couple
reported sharing the domestic
workload pre-child, the man went
on to decrease his housework
contributions by as much as five
hours a week after the child was
born. The wife picked up his
slack, and all that slack amounted
to 2.6 extra weeks of work for her
over the course of a year. One
explanation: babies upend the
dynamic that couples have and,
as parents, they default to the
domestic roles they grew up with.
So, for instance, if your dad
didn’t do the laundry in your
house growing up, you’ll likely
follow suit.
Which brings me back to
folding my wife’s underwear.
A week earlier, Meghan and I
had agreed to follow the rules of
a new book, Fair Play: A Game-
Changing Solution for When You
Have Too Much to Do (and More
Life to Live). The Fair Play system
was devised by Eve Rodsky, an
organisational specialist with
mediation experience. She
argues that in order for women
to avoid being the “She-Fault”
parent, they must create equity
in household chores, or else
risk frustration, resentment
and divorce.
She also argues that to
achieve this equity, they must
participate in the Fair Play
“game”, which centres on a deck
of 100 cards. Thirty of these
cards deal with what you’d
expect – doing dishes, taking
out the garbage, handling the
mail. There are 54 other cards
devoted to chores that occur
less frequently (thank-you
notes, health insurance, lawn
and plants). The remaining 16
cards are divided into 10 wild
cards (moving, new job, death in
the family) and six happiness-
centric cards (adult friendships,
self-care). The goal is not to
carry an equal number of
cards but to feel like the
responsibilities each person
holds are fair and reasonable.
“Is this a ruse to get me
to do more cooking?” Meghan
asked when we sat at our kitchen
table for our first summit. Going
into it, I felt like I may have had
the higher ground: I do all of
the cooking for our family, and
the yard work, and most of the
nasty cleaning, dishes, grocery
shopping and holiday-related
stuff. Because I work from home,
my daily breaks involve household
chores – and a good number
of them. Although I calmly
reassured Meghan that, no, this
project wasn’t intended to unload
my responsibilities onto her, I was
hoping that maybe it would.
But as we divvied up which
responsibilities we would each
handle for the week ahead, I
noticed that while Meghan and I
held roughly the same number of
cards, the type of cards differed.
I held the majority of the cards
that required physical labour.
Meghan held the majority of the
cards that required mental labour
– cards like “calendar keeper”,
“money manager” and “medical
and healthy living (kids).”
Wanting to retain my perceived
footing on higher ground, I asked
Meghan for the “local packing and
unpacking” card, which entailed
stocking the nappy bag for outings
around town. It seemed like an
easy one.
My father did more around the
house than I think most dads
did, but I can guarantee you he
never held the “local packing and
unpacking” card. My mum did
that, and we always had what we
needed. This is what my wife did,
too. Until it was my turn.
During the opening weeks of
January 2020 29
 A+
RELATIONSHIPS
“She wasn’t just asking me to watch
our son when we were out in
public. She was asking me to
handle the mental responsibility
of making sure he was safe”
Fair Play, we were invited to a
family friend’s pool. I packed the
sunscreen, my son’s swim nappy,
a few pool toys, his water cup and
. . . what else, what else? – I
thought that was good. Two
blocks from home, I realised
I’d forgotten his pool float. I
turned the car around to pick it
up; I delivered him to the pool,
where he had a ton of fun; and
afterwards I suggested we all go
out for dinner. Then I realised
I hadn’t packed him a change
of clothes.
How, I wondered, could I
have failed so poorly at something
so simple? I began to understand:
mentally mapping out exactly
what a super-needy kid will
require for four hours
is daunting. In fact, it’s
emotionally exhausting to
prepare for all the scenarios,
including the worst ones, and
especially if it’s a habit
you’ve never seen practised or
practised yourself.
Meghan and I returned home
that night to find I wasn’t the
only one struggling with our new
division of labour. A squadron of
flies had stormed our kitchen,
likely bursting forth from the
fetidness of the rubbish bin.
Meghan held the “trash” card.
“Maybe they’re coming from
outside?” she pondered.
30 menshealth.com.au
Over the next month, Meghan
and I discussed our domestic life
ad nauseam. For as convoluted
and overwhelming as the Fair
Play system is, it does force you
to have difficult conversations.
About what it means to truly
execute a task. About what your
agreed-upon minimum standard
of care is. About competency and
consistency and, all along in the
background, the by-product of
those two things: trust.
Trust is earned, and it is
earned in a “trust spiral”, a
phrase coined by Sibout G.
Nooteboom, a public-
administration researcher at
Erasmus University Rotterdam.
Positive trust spirals grow from a
repeated sequence: establishing
a common goal, having
enthusiasm, navigating tensions
to reach the goal, and reward.
Negative trust spirals feed off
the opposite.
“Helping” in the form of
nagging or swooping in to finish
the job does not feed trust,
Rodsky says. In fact, the Fair Play
system discourages helping. If
one does the laundry, one does
all of the laundry. This includes
deciding when to do laundry,
doing the laundry, folding the
laundry, and putting away
the laundry.
“When you hold a card, you
own it. You conceive, plan and
execute. And your partner isn’t
allowed to give feedback in the
moment. That’s saved for weekly
meetings,” Rodsky says. And
while she describes her plan as
“hardcore change from how things
are done currently”, she argues
that anyone who has ever had a
job understands what it means
to take on a task and complete
it. “Every business works on a
direct-responsibility model. Why
shouldn’t the household?”
Before Fair Play, I was routinely
miffed at my wife for not taking
out the rubbish as much as I
did, without ever giving her full
responsibility to do so. My wife
was routinely miffed at me for
not watching our son as closely
as she would have, without ever
entrusting me to carry out the full
responsibility of what that means.
I kept coming back to that
holiday fight my wife and I had
– to the mason jars and what they
represented to her. She wasn’t
just asking me to watch our son
when we were out in public. She
was asking me to handle the
mental responsibility of making
sure he was safe, so that she could
be comfortable.
At our week-three summit,
knowing that we’d be attending
a birthday party for our friends’
two-year-old son that weekend,
I took the “watching” card and
actually brought it with me to the
party. Carrying around Fair Play
cards isn’t required, but I deemed
it necessary for the task at hand. I
traded “watching” with Meghan
exactly once, when I needed to
eat, but otherwise hovered over
my son as he splashed at a water
table, pushed a toy lawnmower,
shovelled a god-awful amount of
fruit into his mouth, and meowed
at cats. Two hours in, I was spent.
After the party, Meghan told me:
“You’re more competent than I
give you credit for.” I took it as
a compliment.
During our last summit, I asked
Meghan if she was ready to burn
our cards in a ceremonial bonfire.
After our usual griping about
the madness of the system, we
decided instead to reduce our load
to just a few key cards that served
as trouble spots for us – “packing
and unpacking”, “weekend
meals” and “watching” included.
We were starting to build
something and we weren’t quite
sure that our work was finished.
But we agreed that we didn’t want
to run our home like a business,
because, well, home is a respite
from business. Though Meghan
did say, “Maybe we’ll bring the
full deck of cards back if we have
a second kid”.
I had always followed the
advice of my hero, Tom Waits,
when it came to marriage. When
reporters have asked him the
secret of his long marriage to
Kathleen Brennan, he’s replied,
in reference to doing dishes:
“She washes, I’ll dry”. I had
always assumed that meant
splitting the work 50/50, but now
I understand that true synergy in
a relationship comes from each
partner holding an equitable
– not equal – share of physical
and mental chores. No woman
should carry the mental weight
of childcare. No man should
bear the load of labour tasks.
And vice versa. My wife actually
did start cooking more so that I
could devote more mental energy
holding on to that damn “packing
and unpacking” card. I wash and
I dry so she can keep the calendar.
We take turns watching. And I do
the laundry. I’m even starting to
enjoy folding her underwear.
 A+
MH GIRL

AIR APPARENT: SCOTT

TRADED THE MAT FOR
THE MOUNTAINS.

DANIELLE
SCOTT
Aerial skier Danielle Scott reveals
how the path to a dream can take
many routes

BY BEN JHOTY

Growing up on Sydney’s northern beaches

Danielle Scott always thought of herself as a
summer sports girl. To this day she loves to
hit the ocean for a surf or just muck around
on her skateboard. This despite being a silver
and bronze medallist in the FIS Freestyle World
Ski Championships, dual Olympian and twice
finishing second in the World Cup. “I think I’ll
always be a summer girl at heart,” says the easy-
going 29-year-old. “If I have a choice to go to the
snow or the beach, I’d definitely be choosing the
beach.” In fact, Scott’s first love was gymnastics,
which she began at the age of three and ‘retired’
from at 13 before getting into aerial skiing. Her
eclectic athletic background is a testament to
the importance of passion, perseverance and
purpose. As she tells MH, you’ve got to “pursue
what you love and if you don’t love it, then find
what that is”.

INSTAGRAM @DANIELLESCOTTSKI

32 menshealth.com.au
CHANGING LANES
Scott began gymnastics at her local
YMCA and was in an elite school
program by five, training 25 hours
a week. At seven she was offered a
scholarship at the AIS, the youngest
athlete ever to receive such an offer.
She stayed in Sydney for educational
reasons but by the time she hit her
teens it had become clear her Olympic
dream wasn’t going to work out.
“Australia’s gymnastics program isn’t
as strong as a lot of other countries’
and without that pool of girls to work
with, my career fell apart,” she says.
But her ambition to represent Australia
remained undimmed and it wasn’t
long before she was invited to try aerial
skiing, despite never having skied
before, by five-time winter Olympian
Jacqui Cooper. Initially, Scott admits,
she felt like a fish out of water. “I
remember my coach helping me put
the skis on and then I was just standing
there thinking, ‘Wow, these things are
slippery, how on earth am I going to
do this?’”
MIX IT UP
Training for aerials means devoting
serious time to your glutes, back
and core. “That’s the powerhouse
that can control us in the air and
absorb the forces on landing,” Scott
says. Think squats, deadlifts and
hanging leg raises. Having changed
sports Scott has a unique appreciation
for cross training. “I love to take
my mind off skiing and jumping on
the water ramp to go mountain biking,
get my skateboard out or go for a surf
trip in between camps,” Scott says.
“Just changing up the variety of muscle
memory is really valuable.”
FALL AND RISE
Scott was looking forward to a big
season on this year’s World Cup tour
when she suffered an unlucky fall on a
training site in Switzerland, resulting in
a torn ACL. “I was literally just getting
back up to the top of the jump site to
begin training that day when I fell,”
she recalls. “I knew straight away.” She
returned home to undergo surgery
and is currently throwing herself into
rehab with hopes of returning to the
World Cup next year, before targeting
the 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing.
The key to staying positive, she says,
is to have a good support crew and
stay busy. “I’m not one to ask for help,
but it’s definitely nice just to know that
those people are there when you’ve
got to ice your leg 10 times a day,” she
laughs. A marketer’s dream, Scott
has partnerships with likes of Under
Armour, GoPro, Tradie Underwear and
Nissan that will keep her busy as she
plots her comeback. “I love to work
with my sponsors, just getting content
or being active in the outdoors.
Anything apart from skiing.”
HER KIND OF GUY
A girl like Scott needs someone who
can keep up with her. If you’re the
type of bloke who shuns outdoor
activity, you’re going to have a hard
time sustaining her interest. “Because
I spend a lot of time in the outdoors,
I hope he would want to as well,” she
says. Fair enough. She also gives
time-wasters short shrift, preferring
someone “who’s not afraid to fall in love
and invest their time in a relationship”.
She’s been seeing her boyfriend, a
carpenter she’s known since she was
a teenager, for two years. “It’s pretty
funny. I’ve known him since high
school and here we are.”
HUNGER GAMES
As an athlete whose job involves flying
through the air, Scott needs to eat
to fuel her training while staying in
aerodynamic shape. She prioritises
fresh, raw vegetables and fruit along
with plenty of protein. “We push our
bodies to the extreme, which makes
recovery so important,” she says. “We
also need enough carbohydrate to
have the energy to get back-to-back
sessions in.” She eats more or less the
same outside of training blocks, just
in smaller quantities. “You just watch
the quantities because excess weight
doesn’t help us when we’re in the air.”
At the same time, she likes her splurges
heavy. “A laksa or a curry is a good
cheat meal,” she says. “It’s quite
heavy with all the coconut cream,
but it’s so delicious.”
January 2020 33
 A+
MH DAD
Fatherhood at 1:10AM
In the early, mind-bending hours of parenting a son that he, at one time,
wasn’t sure he wanted, novelist Tim O’Brien turned to a simple song
BY TIM O’BRIEN // ILLUSTRATION BY RYAN INZANA
He hates hot and he hates cold
My son, Timmy, is just over two months old and he hates all temperatures in
– nine weeks to be exact – and he won’t stop between. He is full of fury. I have
crying. He seems to hate his brand-new world fathered Jack the Ripper. At the
moment, in these early-morning
and all things in it, including his cot and his hours of August 28, 2003, I’m
rattle and his mother and me. Colic, say the taking a break while my wife,
Meredith, sits in the laundry
doctors, but the kid hates eating and he hates room with our howling little
not eating. He hates sleeping and he hates not hater. A pediatrician suggested
sleeping. He hates being held and he hates not placing him in a basket atop the
clothes dryer. The machine’s
being held. He hates light and he hates dark. warmth and its humming motor
have worked their magic, to be
sure, but only on my exhausted
wife, whom I last saw in a state of
semiconsciousness.
Meredith and I are first-
timers at the whole baby thing,
a pair of rookies, and we are
34 menshealth.com.au
not only incompetent but we’re
getting scared. I’m scared, in
fact, at this very instant. In a few
minutes I’ll be shutting down my
computer and returning to duty,
except I have no clue as to what
my duty actually is. Right now
it’s 1:10am, and Timmy has been
crying since . . . well, since he was
born. Nothing stops him
– not for long. We’ll pick him up
and snuggle him and walk him
around the house, and for a short
while he may (or may not) settle
down. But then he tightens up,
fidgets, squirms and eventually
convulses in a deep, full-body
shudder, as if electricity has
just sizzled through his bones.
And then his face goes wrinkly
with hatred and he lets out a
Frankenstein screech that wakes
up the nomads in Libya. We’re
afraid the police will come. We’re
afraid neighbours will nail bomb
threats to our door. We’re afraid,
quite literally, that our little boy
hates being alive.
Our nerves are shot. We’re
exhausted. We have no family
nearby, no wise and experienced
relatives, no one to spell us for
even a few hours. Worse yet, the
pediatricians and their nurses
seem fed up with our panicky
phone calls. Over and over, they
use the word colic, or the word
fussy, as if we’re too dumb to
remember that these are the
words they’ve been uttering
for weeks.
ROSEMARY’S BABY?
We blame ourselves, of course.
This morning, I’ve been sitting
here at my desk, listening to the
baby-din, wanting to cry, and
only a few minutes ago I found
myself suddenly horrified by the
thought that my own hot temper
and occasional rages may have
been transmitted to my infant
son. More horrifying yet, I worry
that during Timmy’s womb
time he somehow absorbed the
knowledge that for years prior to
his conception I hadn’t wanted
children. Did his biology know
that Meredith and I had nearly
broken up over that issue during
our courtship days? Did the
cytosine in Timmy’s DNA, or
the proteins of his brain stem,
somehow program resentment
and disgust and outright fury
in a kind of organic reaction to
his father’s wicked selfishness?
Meredith and I feel
responsible. More than
responsible. We feel guilt. We
are older than most greenhorn
parents, and although neither of
us says so, we’re both chewing on
the possibility that our crusty,
over-the-hill chromosomes
combined to produce Timmy’s
wretchedness. (Would Jack the
Ripper have been Jack the Ripper
if his parents had not crossed
genetic paths?) On her part, more
practically, Meredith worries
aloud that her type 1 diabetes
may have infected her breast
milk, or may have poisoned
Timmy’s pancreas, or may have
otherwise caused our son all this
unrelieved unhappiness. Also,
because she’s a type 1 diabetic,
Meredith underwent induced
labour. “Maybe Timmy needed
more time inside,” she speculated
yesterday. “Being forced to wake
up – wouldn’t that upset anyone?”
(I call this her premature-
ejaculation theory.)
Last night, during my 2am
baby duty, I hit on what appears
to be a miracle. An imperfect
miracle, a miracle in need of fine-
tuning, but a gift from the gods
all the same. It is the song “Row,
Row, Row Your Boat”. Sing it
in the dark, sing it in a rocking
chair, sing it long enough – maybe
45 minutes, maybe an hour
– and Timmy stops crying. He
sleeps. He sleeps without hatred
on his face. When I mentioned
my discovery to Meredith this
morning, she looked at me
sceptically. “So you put him in
the cot?”
“Well, no,” I said. “I tried,
but he – ”
“He woke up crying, right?”
“Right, and that’s where the
fine-tuning comes in.”
“Lots of luck,” said Meredith.
I nodded. She was right. Song
or no song, his hatred for the cot
was a problem. Moreover, there
was an issue with the song itself.
“It’ll drive me crazy,” I admitted.
“Last night it almost did. It’s
short – only four lines – and it’s a
goddamned round. Try singing
‘merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily’ for a whole hour.”
She shrugged.
It’s taken a few days, but I’ve
made progress. Partly deletion,
partly rewriting. Among other
things, I’ve tightened up the title.
I now call the song “Row, Row”.
I’ve deleted the merrily stuff. I’ve
deleted the boat and the rowing.
I’ve deleted the stream. In fact,
I’ve deleted almost everything but
the melody, and as Timmy and
I sit in the dark, rocking in our
rocking chair, father and son, I
invent filthy lyrics to keep myself
sane. True, I adore that final line,
“Life is but a dream”, but it had to
go. You don’t sing about a pair of
horny pigeons and end with “life
is but a dream”. It does not fit. Not
with pigeons. Tonight, I’ll branch
out. Buggering mice, maybe.
Although I haven’t written
much since Timmy was born,
I now sit in the dark and produce
some of my best work in years.
No pressures to publish. So far
no bad reviews. I’ve finally found
my subject.
Bleep, bleep, bleep like mice,
Gently up the bleep, Verily, verily,
verily, verily, Firmly bleep the
bleep.
As I mentioned earlier,
Meredith and I had come within
a whisker of calling it quits over
our deadlock on the children
question. She very much wanted
kids. I very much did not. And so
it happened that on a late night
several years ago we exchanged
heated words on the subject, each
of us digging in, and eventually
Meredith announced, wearily
but bluntly, that there was no
future for us. I was hurt by this. I
asked her to leave, which she did,
and for a couple of weeks we saw
nothing of each other.
Now, singing “Row, Row”
in the dark, I recall only bits
and pieces from that period of
silence and separation. I was
appalled that Meredith could love
something that did not exist, in
fact the idea of something that did
not exist, more than she loved me.
It seemed cold-blooded. It seemed
heartlessly reproductive.
In the end we met for drinks
on neutral ground, in a bar, and
for several hours we learned a
great deal about each other, not
only emotional things but also
the contents of our personal
histories, the biographical facts
that had brought us to this bar
and to this impasse.
Meredith talked about her
mother dying. She talked about
“I AM GOING MAD.
BUT TIMMY DOESN’T
NOTICE. FOR A FEW
MINUTES, HE SLEEPS”
her father, a good man but
sometimes a distant man, a man
who too often seemed absent
from her life. She talked about
her sisters, one of whom had been
institutionalised for decades with
severe schizophrenia, the other
of whom had twice attempted
suicide (and would later succeed).
She talked about the dream she’d
been cultivating since she was a
little girl, the dream of a happy,
normal family life.
“Maybe it’s a fantasy,” she
said, “but don’t I get to hope for
something?”
On my part, I opened up
about pretty similar things.
An alcoholic father. A father
who often scared me and who
sometimes didn’t seem to like me
much. I talked about the tensions
in our house, the late-night
shouting matches between my
mum and dad, the cruel words,
the brittle silences that followed
for weeks afterwards. I also
expressed, as best I could, my
suspicion that I’d make a far less
than ideal father.
Meredith and I managed to
work it out. In that bar, and in the
weeks afterwards, the realisation
began to stir in me that I, too,
yearned for a happy, normal
family life, even if I remained
terrified of failing. There were no
promises, exactly. But there was
a prospect. Three years went by,
and Meredith and I got married,
and our son was conceived, and
now I sit here in the dark, rocking
my precious, life-hating Timmy
to sleep, singing an unprintable
new edition of “Row, Row”.
SONG SUNG BLUE
The miracle hasn’t panned out.
In some ways things seem more
hopeless than ever. Although
“Row, Row” will eventually put
Timmy to sleep, he continues to
wake up screaming after a half
hour or so, often after only a few
minutes. The crying has become
infectious. Meredith is crying – a
lot. I’ve cried. All three of us are
ragged with fatigue. Not only
am I exhausted beyond
exhaustion, but I’ve also
exhausted all possible
combinations of dirty rhymes.
I’ve turned to politics: Bush –
tush. Rice – advice. Rumsfeld –
beheld. Cheney – rainy.
First names, I’ve discovered,
are much easier. I have fun with
George and Don. I have a shitload
of fun with Dick. Condoleezza
has proven difficult, but like my
poetically minded friends, I have
no scruples about cheating with
near rhymes.
My masterpiece is a version of
“Row, Row” that I sang to Timmy
just last night, a version in which
every word but one must be
redacted. It goes like this:
Bleep, bleep, bleep Dick’s
bleep, Bleepily bleep bleep bleep,
Bleepily, bleepily, bleepily,
bleepily, Bleep Dick’s bleeping
bleep.
I am going mad, of course, but
Timmy doesn’t notice. For a few
blessed minutes, he sleeps. And
perhaps one day, if he survives his
life-is-but-a-nightmare infancy,
he will thank his father for this
solid foundation in modern dirty-
mouthed political discourse.
Two-and-a-half weeks pass.
Things have changed but not
for the better. Timmy has lost
a little bodyweight. He blinks
away tears as he eats; he chews
more than he sucks; he vomits;
he hisses at us; he hisses and he
shrieks both at once.
Meredith, I’m almost certain,
lies awake wondering if our
beloved baby boy has inherited
the afflictions of her two
disturbed sisters. The hissing
and the shrieking reproduce the
bedlam of a psychiatric ward
interstate in which her older
sister has resided since Meredith
was in Year 10. Inevitably, given
what we know of genetics, the
blaming has revved up a notch.
The guilt has thickened. I worry
not just about Timmy but equally
January 2020 35
 A+
MH DAD
so about Meredith. I don’t think
she can handle much more.
Though I try not to let on, I’m
also concerned about the limits of
my own tolerance. As I sing “Row,
Row” in the dark, my thoughts
seem to rattle around without
content, or without objective
and realistic content. I fantasise
sometimes. I pretend none of
this is happening. I pretend I’m
teaching history to my son as I
sing about John Wilkes Booth
going merrily down the stream.
This morning I found
Meredith sitting outside Timmy’s
bedroom. She was trembling
with . . . I don’t know what. She
was trembling with all that has
been and all that still is. I had
seen her weep before, but never
like this.
Behind the closed bedroom
door, Timmy was shrieking.
I didn’t decide anything; I
just did it – loaded all three
of us into the car and drove to
an emergency room. Seven
hours later we departed with
36 menshealth.com.au
“I ‘D BEEN AFRAID MY SON
WOULD DIE. I’M STILL AFRAID.
I WILL ALWAYS BE AFRAID”
three prescriptions: Xanax for
Meredith, Xanax for me, and a
drug called Prilosec for Timmy.
Our son was found to be suffering
from acid-reflux disease. His case
was severe. We were informed
that acid reflux can be difficult
to diagnose, especially among
infants, who are unable to
articulate where things hurt or
how things hurt or why things
hurt or even that things hurt.
They can cry. They can shriek
and hiss.
RELEASE FROM HELL
We learned today, along with a
great deal else, that insomnia is a
common symptom of acid reflux;
we learned that the condition
is caused by a relaxation of the
lower esophageal sphincter,
which in turn permits stomach
acids to drain into the esophagus;
we learned that those acids can
produce intense pain, especially
in the sensitive tissues of a baby;
we learned that the word colic
(sometimes called infantile colic)
is descriptive of a set of symptoms
(frequency of crying, duration of
crying) but is not a diagnosis of
organic cause; we learned that we
were not to blame; we learned that
Timmy hated only the terrible
pain, not the world.
Now it’s 11:17 pm and the
house is bizarrely silent. The
Prilosec did its magic – not
instantly, but very nearly so. The
Xanax also worked. Meredith
has been sleeping since late
afternoon. I’m feeling extremely
fine. Until two hours ago I had
been sitting in the dark with
Timmy, even though he no longer
needs me. He, too, is feeling fine.
He sleeps peacefully.
In a few minutes I’ll get some
sleep myself, but for now, as I
scribble down these few words,
I’m content to sit here listening
to the all-is-well hum of our baby
monitor, its soothing electric buzz
coming from some unpopulated
and distant galaxy. I’m riding the
jet stream of Xanax, true, but I’m
also feeling a kind of nostalgia,
the sort of backward-looking,
tongue-probing surprise one
feels after an aching tooth has
been pulled. I don’t miss all the
horror, of course. But I do miss
surviving the horror. I miss
holding Timmy in the dark. I
miss “Row, Row”—enough to feel
acutely what is missing.
This sensation, whatever it is,
reminds me a bit of what I’d once
experienced in Vietnam after a
firefight ended, when something
that was so excruciatingly present
became so shockingly absent.
I’d been afraid my son would
die. I’m still afraid. I will always
be afraid.
It occurs to me that one day,
when he’s in his last year of
university, I’ll have to let him
take his chances out in the killer
world. At that point, I’ll probably
allow him to apply for a driver’s
license and (if he’s very careful)
use the family car to go out
on his first dangerous date,
though I’ll be singing “Row, Row”
in the backseat.
Ronald McDonald House.
Where family life carries on.
Two brothers, 145 nights
at Ronald McDonald House.
Scout and London have a lot in common.
The brothers love the outdoors, playing with
cars, trucks, their pets (a dog and two guinea pigs)
but the truth is, they’re pretty happy doing almost
anything as long as they’re doing it together.
They have something else in common, too.
Help family life carry on.
Donate today at rmhc.org.au
They were both born with cleft lips and palates and
Pierre Robin syndrome. They’ve also spent much of
the first part of their lives in hospitals. But with the help
of Ronald McDonald House, they’ve been able to have
their parents and each other nearby.
You can help family life carry on for Scout and London
and the other 10,000 families with seriously ill children
who rely on Ronald McDonald House each year.
Australia
 A+
TACTICS

HARDEST TACKLE
West Coast Eagles superstar Nic Naitanui has
had to deal with being different his whole life.
Here he reveals how he came to realise that
was something to celebrate
BY BEN JHOTY
The schoolyard can be a tough
place for anyone who’s a little
different. Imagine then, what it
was like for a tall, skinny Fijian
kid growing up in Perth in the
mid-nineties. With his rangy
body, black skin and wild locks,
the young Nic Naitanui could
scarcely have been more distinct
from his classmates. A tough
place? Hell is another way to
describe it.
The thing about being
different, of course, is that it
makes you a target. A uniquely
vulnerable one at that. Because
for those that don’t fit in, it’s
never just the insults and abuse
that have the capacity to cause
harm. For the victim, names
become arrows, jokes land like
jabs, even a mere look is freighted
with the power to wound.
“It’s a feeling more than
anything,” says Naitanui of the
effect barbs from schoolyard
bullies had on him. “It’s a feeling
inside you of worry or hurt.
Someone doesn’t even have to
say anything. It can just be a look
that makes you feel a certain way
because you’re different.”
It didn’t help that Naitanui
was shy. Sometimes he wore the

38 menshealth.com.au

insults, pretended they didn’t
bother him. “You don’t want to
complain or whinge and you’re
worried that if you do, you’ll stand
out even more,” says the Eagles
ruckman, who’s just released a
children’s book called Little Nic’s
Big Day that celebrates cultural
diversity. Other times, he took
his anger out with his fists. “It’s
tough to say but sometimes that’s
just your natural reaction,” he
says quietly. “It gets to the point
where you feel like that’s the only
way to deal with it. You look back
and you almost wish there was
a way you could have stopped it
before it got to that point.”
The one thing Naitanui had
going for him was that he was
good at sport. Over time his
prowess on the football field won
him the respect and admiration
of his peers. “I found acceptance
through playing footy,” he
says. “It was probably a bit of a
saviour for me. It was my way of
integrating and being accepted,
not just in the schoolyard but the
local community as well.”
But acceptance from others
was only half the battle. So
long shamed for who he was,
Naitainui’s real goal was one
“IT’S A FEELING INSIDE
YOU OF WORRY OR HURT ”
many young men find even more
elusive: self-acceptance. That
meant embracing his uniqueness
and taking pride in his cultural
identity. He remembers latching
onto the phrase ‘dare to be
different’. “It just helped me
realise that it’s okay to be unique
and be different and to celebrate
that,” he says.
These days Naitanui is easily
one of the most popular athletes
in WA but that hasn’t saved him
from racist abuse, particularly
on social media. He estimates
he cops racist, vitriolic attacks
from online trolls around every
two weeks. “The over-the-fence
stuff or abuse from other players
on the field is pretty rare,” he
says. “Social media is the big
one because it’s given these
people a voice they didn’t have
before.” Dealing with online
trolls presents a dilemma, he
adds. Do you call them out, in the
process amplifying their voice?
Or ignore them? “At times I will
call it out but there are times I
don’t,” he says. “Sometimes it’s
more powerful not to respond.
You don’t want to give them an
extra platform. I don’t really like
showcasing it too much.”
Nevertheless, he has leapt to
the defence of others, calling out
a troll who posted a racist slur
directed at his teammate Liam
Ryan. “It’s tough for young guys
like that so you just want to let
them know that you’ve got their
back,” he says.
While direct abuse is easy to
recognise and highlight, casual
racism is more widespread
and often equally pernicious,
Naitanui adds. “We stamp down
on any casual kind of stuff at
the club because that can be
just as hurtful,” he says. “Some
might not find it offensive,
but others do so I’ve become a
lot more confident in myself
in confronting that. If it was
someone really close to me, I
would be the first to tell them. It
might break a few friendships but
so be it.”
The Eagles star has drawn
inspiration from Indigenous
players like Nicky Winmar,
Michael Long and, of course,
Adam Goodes, who’ve shown the
courage to speak out against racist
abuse. “Those guys are prominent
examples of how you can make
an impact and influence people
through your actions,” he says.
“It was sad to see what happened
to Adam in the latter part of his
career. I think that’s been a big
eye-opener for the community.”
The treatment of Goodes
shows how much work there is
still to do and Naitanui is all too
aware of the challenges involved
in trying to shift ingrained
attitudes, particularly among
older generations. “You try your
hardest, but you know when
someone’s been doing something
a certain way for 70-80 years
it’s hard to break that down,” he
says. Which is why he believes
educating and informing kids is
the most effective way to promote
tolerance and understanding
going forward. “I think it’s
important for people like myself
to try and influence and teach
younger generations to help them
become individuals that are
accepting of people’s differences.”
In doing so, he hopes the
schoolyard, footy field and maybe
even social media feeds, become
more welcoming, inclusive places.
Little Nic’sBig
Day (Allen &
Unwin) is on
sale now
January 2020 39
 A+
NUTRITION

Turkey, Except Actually Delicious

Admit it: turkey usually sucks. But don’t blame the bird. By roasting it whole at Xmas, you dry
out the white meat before the dark meat cooks. If you use a technique called spatchcocking,
the meat will roast evenly. Enjoy all the tasty protein along with these two fibre-packed sides
BY PAUL KITA // PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHELSEA KYLE

40 menshealth.com.au
 30G 10G
E THE FIBRE
White or dark – doesn’t make a big difference. Some 115 grams of roasted white These sides fill you up
meat, with the delicious skin, have 840 kilojoules, 33 grams of protein, six grams of and taste amazing
fat and no carbs, if you’re counting macros (and if you’re counting macros on
Christmas Day, maybe don’t?). The same amount of dark meat has 975 kilojoules,
31 grams of protein, 11 grams of fat and no carbs. So they’re similar in their
nutrition. That means you should eat whichever you like better.

$ BU Y I T COOK I T Spatchcocked Lemon

Rosemary Turkey
As a general A simple dry brine helps the meat stay juicy and the skin crisp.
rule, estimate All you have to do is wait, roast and eat
about 700
grams per
person, to W H AT Y O U ’ L L N E E D • In a bowl, mix the salt, chopped rosemary and
account for the lemon zest. Put the turkey, skin side down, on a
1 ( 5 . 5 KG ) T U R K E Y, N E C K
meat-to-bone A N D G I B L E TS R E M OV E D , large high-walled baking sheet with a roasting
ratio and allow PAT T E D D RY, rack. Rub the mix on the skin and meat. Chill
for ample S PATC H C O C K E D ( S E E overnight, or up to 24 hours. Toss 8 cups of cubed squash on a
B E LOW )
leftovers. So, for • Remove the turkey from the fridge about an hour baking sheet with 1 Tbsp olive oil,
example, a 2 ½ T B S P KO S H E R S A LT before cooking. Preheat your oven to 200°C. salt and pepper. Roast at 200°C
5.5-kg bird will L E AV E S F R O M Brush the turkey with the oil and season well with until tender, 20 minutes. Add ¾ cup
2 S P R I G S R O S E M A RY,
serve eight CHOPPED, pepper. Remove the roasting rack and line the chopped walnuts and roast till aromatic,
people. Buy P LU S 2 W H O L E S P R I G S sheet with lemon slices and rosemary sprigs. 6-8 minutes. Transfer to a bowl, cool
organic so you 2 L E M O N S , Z E ST E D A N D Return the rack and bird to the sheet. Roast until a and mix in ½ cup pomegranate seeds
know the turkey THEN SLICED meat thermometer registers 75°C in the thickest and the leaves from 2 fresh thyme
wasn’t raised on OLIVE OIL, FOR parts of both breasts and both legs, about 75 sprigs. Feeds 4
BRUSHING minutes, turning the sheet every 30 minutes. Per serving: 1220 kilojoules, 6g protein,
feed or water
containing • Wearing oven mitts, carefully remove the turkey 28g carbs (9g fibre), 18g fat
antibiotics. and let it rest at least 15 minutes before carving
Maybe it’s more and serving. Feeds 8, plus leftovers
expensive, but
your guests are Nutrition per serving: 2370 kilojoules, 84g protein,
worth it, right? 1g carbs (0g fibre), 24g fat

P P Spatchcocking the turkey helps it lie flat so it’ll cook more evenly.
You just r of stron

In a large pan over medium heat, add 1

Tbsp olive oil, 50 grams diced prosciutto,
and ½ kg Brussels sprouts, finely
shredded. Saute till tender yet slightly
charred, about 8 minutes. Mix in a bowl
with ½ cup shelled, unsalted pistachios.
n Season with salt and pepper. Feeds 2
Per serving: 1640 kilojoules, 22g protein,
30g carbs (12g fibre), 24g fat

January 2020 41
 A+
MIND

07/ LITTLE 11/ POWER DOWN 16/ WATER

BOOSTS Working from home? WORKS

21
Avoid the big brekkie A sneaky 20-minute Drinking 2.5L of water a
and start off small. lunch-break nap will day has been shown to

WAYS TO
Lighter, more frequent boost energy and decrease signs of
meals keep your blood enhance cognition. sleepiness and fatigue.
sugar levels stable.
12/ SHOT IN 17/ MESSY DESK…

GO FROM
08/ CARB UP THE ARM … messy mind. Getting
Think twice before Sink a coffee before distracted by clutter
cutting out pasta, as you nap: the same exhausts mental
study found it boosts reserves. Marie Kondo

LISTLESS TO
low-carb diets sap brain
energy, reducing post-kip alertness your workspace.
your attention span.
13/ CHEW AWAY 18/ BREAK IT UP

LIMITLESS
09/ TUNE IN See off coffee breath Stretching for 10
But you can help your with chewing gum to seconds every 20
concentration levels by freshen up your mind, minutes is all it takes to
listening to Mozart, so too: the mint can help stop fatigue setting in
set the office radio to your attention span. at your desk.
ABC Classic.
Plug into our exhaustive list of research 19/ CLOCK OUT
14/ BUILD FOCUS
to short-circuit tiredness and jump-start 10/ RUDE If you’re anti-espresso, Work smarter, not
AWAKENING harder. Worn-out,
your body and mind. What 3pm slump? Don’t stifle that yawn.
the lower caffeine and
calming L-theanine of unhappy workers are 22
Oxygen acts as a builder’s tea will give per cent less productive
pick-me-up by helping you a gentler boost. than happy ones.
cognitive function
01/ MORNING 04/ GREEN
GLORY ENERGY
and brain activity. 20/ NET GAINS
Include spirulina in your Outside the office, make
Roll over and start
time for a hobby. Fun at

15
the day with a smile. supp stack. Taken
regularly, it can make five-a-side can
Sex stimulates brain
you physically and invigorate your body
function and burns
mentally sharper. and mind: #LifeGoals.
away fatigue.

02/ RED-HANDED 05/ PEDAL TO

THE METAL
BED TO BARBELL 21/ AND
FINALLY…
But put a limit on those Lift your energy in the gym:
solo missions. A lack of iron limits Don’t be afraid to hit
Over-masturbation oxygen delivery to your just an hour of exercise a snooze after a bad
body, so take a pill and night’s sleep. Just one
sinks levels of energy-
stay pumped. week can cut signs of fatigue lie-in can get your brain
boosting testosterone.
by 65 per cent in six weeks. firing again.

03/ BRIGHT START 06/ BY A NOSE

Add an allergy med
Avoid blue light at night,
to your pill pack.
but scrolling the news on
Inflamed sinuses can
your phone in the morning
sabotage sleep to sap
fires up your brain.
tomorrow’s energy.

AMP UP YOUR ENERGY

SUPPLY WITH A
WEIGHTS SESSION.
WORDS: MATT EVANS | PHOTOGRAPHY: JOBE LAWRENSON

January 2020 43
 A+
COVER GUY

PEOPLE’S
CHOICE
2020
Though the eyes of the world have begun turning towards
the US and the long build-up to the Nov. 3 election, the
real battle isn’t Trump vs Biden/Harris/Warren. A rougher,
higher-stakes contest is brewing here on home turf, in a
rivalry borne out of Chris Hemsworth’s fitness app, Centr
PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES GEER

SINCE THE LAUNCH of Hemworth’s

Centr app nearly a year ago, and the
reveal of ‘Fat Thor’ earlier in 2019, new
heroes and potential Men’s Health
cover men have emerged, with two
leading the charge: Luke Zocchi and
Bobby Holland Hanton. Both fiercely
competitive and equally worthy of a
cover, the team at MH couldn’t split
the two, so we’re leaving the choice
in your hands in our very first People’s LUKE ZOCCHI
@zocobodypro
Choice Cover.
Coming out swinging for the Age 35
Aussies is chef, Sipp Instant founder, Height 170cm
personal trainer to Chris Hemsworth Weight 71kg
and lovable larrikin Luke Zocchi. Occupation Personal Trainer
Boasting over 250k followers on the Skill Legend in the kitchen
’Gram and counting Hemsworth as Trademark Quirky Insta
cooking videos
his closest mate, Zocchi is a crowd-
Training Style 20-minute
pleaser sure to win more than a few cardio and boxing workouts.
votes with his fun-loving nature.

44
LUKE
menshealth.com.au
VS

BOBBY
HOLLAND HANTON
@bobbydazzler84
Age: 36
Height: 190cm
Weight: 85kg (92kg in
‘Thor mode’)
Occupation: Stuntman
Skill: Death-defying stunts
Trademark: His Zoolander-
esque pout
Training Style: HIIT sessions
and circuits, “and then I’ll
isolate a lot of arms because
they are always on show in
the Thor costume”.
BOBBY
In the corner of the Brits, standing
at a lofty 190cm, is stuntman to
Hemsworth, Daniel Craig and Henry
Cavill, Bobby Holland Hanton. Rippling
with functional muscle, the former
gymnast is the go-to stunt expert
for Hollywood action blockbusters.
Returning from back surgery in early
2019, Holland Hanton is a hero for the
underdogs. And if anyone loves
a comeback story, it’s the team
here at MH.
Both Zocchi and Holland Hanton
are featured experts on the Centr
fitness app, inspiring hundreds of
thousands around the world to get
active. Both are truly worthy candidates
for the March 2020 cover.
The choice is in your hands, with
voting live at menshealth.com.au until
January 16, 2020. Stay tuned to MH
socials for campaign messages from
Luke and Bobby, and cast your vote at
any time to nominate who you want
to be your March 2020 Men’s Health
cover man. Remember, every vote
counts. May the better man win.
V TE
NOW!
MENSHEALTH.
COM .AU
January 2020 45
 A+
MH GARAGE
LOOK, I’M GOING TO LEVEL
WITH YOU. I’m not the world’s
biggest fan of SUVs. I’m still
mentally scarred by a torrid
RIDE AND
experience many years ago in a
wobbly 1980s Suzuki Vitara. The
vehicle lurched all over the road
PREJUDICE
and had brakes that locked up
with the slightest touch.
But today I’m in Byron Bay
to test-drive the new Audi Q3
Haunted by a past experience in an SUV, MH compact SUV and the location
alone might be enough to put
writer Alex Dalrymple had largely written my prejudices aside. Byron
off the category. Then he drove the Audi Q3 would have to rank as one of the
best places in the world to test
through the Byron Bay hinterland drive a new car. Rough, winding
roads criss-cross the town’s lush
hinterland, taking in a range
of challenging terrain and jaw-
dropping scenery.
SEA CHANGE: THE NEW Q3
IS EQUIPPED TO TAKE ON ALL
TYPES OF TERRAIN.
46 menshealth.com.au
It’s hard to think of a car more
primed to become a favourite
of families, young couples and
retirees than the Q3. Audi call
it a triple-threat and that’s
not hyperbole – it’s an SUV
with something for just about
everyone. It’s bigger and sits
lower to the ground than the car it
replaces and has been completely
redesigned inside and out.
Having spent the night at the
amazing Elements of Byron, I
join a five-strong Q3 convoy out
of town the next morning. The
route has been pre-programmed
into our vehicles’ Audi Connect
Plus system, with five stops on
the way. First, we head northwest
towards Mullumbimby, then out
towards Mount Burrell, down to
Nimbin and back to Byron. Along
the way we encounter rainforest,
open pasture and a tiny bit of
freeway, the twisting route
giving us ample opportunity
to test out the car’s impressive
roadholding dynamics.
Confronting a sharp bend
with a steep incline to follow, I
find myself whacking the back of
the steering wheel searching for
paddle gear shifters that aren’t
there – a disappointing omission
in an otherwise impressive
interior. But performance-wise
it doesn’t matter. The 1.4-litre
engine screams to attention as
we swing around the bend and up
the hill with minimal fuss. As
the route unfolds, I do find the
six-speed S-tronic gearbox can
occasionally struggle to find the
appropriate gear. But the overall
handling is far more car-like
than SUV. It’s certainly no
’80s Vitara.
The quality of the tarmac on
the roads around Byron varies
greatly. Loads of bumps, potholes
and loose gravel give the Q3’s
suspension a thorough working
over. The 18-inch wheels on the
base model handle these a little
more smoothly than their better
looking 19-inch siblings.
Inside is where the Q3’s
biggest changes have occurred.
The car’s interior controls are
almost all digitised across twin
10-inch screens dedicated to the
infotainment and gauge cluster.
The car is also the latest recipient
of the aforementioned Audi
Connect Plus system, which
provides up-to-the-minute
traffic information, can tell you
where to get the cheapest petrol
and even give you a heads-up on
nearby carparks with available
spots. Plus, the mapping
information also appears on
the dash (or Virtual Cockpit,
as Audi calls it) right in front
of the driver, with a highly
customisable digital display
helping to keep your eyes
on the road. Android Auto
and Apple Carplay are also
available – in fact Carplay can
be used wirelessly – and there’s
a wireless charging pad in the
middle of the dash. Leather seats
are standard, providing firm,
comfortable support and two
rear-seat passengers
have plenty of room – three is
possible, but would be a little
too cosy on a long trip. The rear
cargo area is an impressive 525
litres and you can triple that
with the rear seats down
– perfect for a family holiday,
shopping trip or even moving
small furniture.
Cruising back to the finish
line for lunch after our 165km
lap of the hinterland, I have to
admit I’m well on the way to
overcoming my SUV aversion.
And with the Q3 Sportback
model featuring a more
powerful 2.0 litre engine due
in mid-2020, my conversion
could well be complete.

“I’M WELL ON THE WAY

TO OVERCOMING
MY SUV AVERSION”

January 2020 47
 BRUSH UP ON YOUR GROOMING

THE LATEST
NEWS,TRENDS
AND EASY
HOW-TOS FOR
YOUR HAIR,FACE
AND BODY
+
TRIAL PRODUCTS
FOR FREE

beautycrew.com.au
Bea u tyc re w @B e au tyc rew @B e a ut y c re w

* BE A U T Y crew is A us tra l ia’s numb er o ne d ed i cate d o nl i n e b e au t y d e st i n ati o n, as r ate d b y Niels en wit hin t he ap pa rel
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 AUSTRALIAN

YOUR PASSPORT TO WELLNESS

T
01 20

FA R N O RT H Q U E E NSL A N D

PAIN
FOREST
WANT TO TEST YOUR PHYSICAL
AND MENTAL LIMITS IN LUSH
TROPICAL SCENERY? RED BULL
DEFIANCE IS THE RACE FOR YOU
BY SCOTT HENDERSON

AND SO THE PLANNING of your annual

boys’ trip begins. Your leave application
has been approved 10 weeks in advance
(by both your better half and your boss)
and you’ve assembled a small but
mighty crew to head off on a long-
weekend adventure. Deserted beaches?
Check. Tropical jungle? Check.
Whitewater rafting? Sure, why not? Now
add 150km of running, mountain biking
and rafting over two days, racing against
the fittest units in Australia. Still keen?
Welcome to the Men’s Health-iest
getaway imaginable: RedBull Defiance.
Will you return relaxed? Far from it. Will
you be better for the experience?
Without a doubt.

January 2020 49
FAR NORTH QUEENSLAND
In today’s largely sedentary
workplaces, vacations and fitness
go together like avocado and
toast. And while there’s been an
undeniable rise in yoga-themed,
resort-based wellness escapes,
sometimes you want to go
bigger and harder. Just like
your smashed avo’.
Thankfully there are a few
events on the fitness calendar
that can scratch your adventure
itch as hard as they’ll lacerate any
unprotected skin. They’re the
destination races that provide
that double-win: an escape from
the ordinary and an immense
physical challenge.
Our own quest for adventure
led us north, to the upper reaches
of Queensland, to tackle the
pinnacle of adventure races, Red
Bull Defiance. Already recognised
as a benchmark of athletic
endeavour and masochistic pain
in New Zealand, this was the first
time the event had been held on
Aussie shores. As much as the
tropical setting of Mission Beach
and the Cassowary Coast might
invite visions of a relaxing
beachside retreat, our poolside
chilling would be confined to
post-race recovery, much
needed after 10km of rafting,
50 menshealth.com.au
45km of running, 75km of
mountain biking and 20km
of paddling.
Such an undertaking requires
a solid team to laugh, commiser-
ate and, let’s face it, share the
suffering with. Fortunately ours
couldn’t have been better
constructed. Personal trainer
Jaden Garft and Sipp Instant
co-founder Dylan Garft are the
sibling duo that will set the pace
for us out on the course. My race
partner is Ben Gordon – drummer
for heavy metal band Parkway
Drive, who was able to both
motivate and calm the rest of
the quartet. A yoga-loving, vegan
metal-head, Gordon brings
the best of each of his distinct
worlds to a weekend away with
the lads.
As a side note, Gordon had
the good fortune to be roped into
this trip with only three weeks
notice. Short enough to not fully
comprehend the intensity that
lies ahead of him, but just enough
for some last-minute training. Not
that he needs it. It turns out that
drumming in one of the world’s
biggest metal bands provides the
aerobic conditioning to tackle a
race that is as relentless as, well,
a pounding thrash anthem.
FROM LEFT: A COMPETITOR
RAPPELS OFF A BRIDGE; MH
FITNESS TSAR TODD LIUBINSKAS
AND TEAMMATE TRENT KNOX
KAYAK THROUGH THE OCEAN.
DAY 1: HEAVEN AND HELL
The first day of Defiance provides
a classic case of “Instagram vs
Reality”. Where a snap on an Insta
feed might see us waking before
sunrise to head for a scenic
raft-cruise through the tranquil
Queensland rainforest, in ‘reality’,
a 4am bus-ride is the start of a
day that will see us take in over
80km of hard-core racing. Hey,
you’ve got to earn those likes.
It’s 5am when we arrive in the
depths of the rainforest to be
kitted out with a life vest and
paddle before being assigned to
our rafts. And, with a swift push
off the river bank, Red Bull
Defiance begins.
In this initial phase of the race,
we’re largely in the hands of our
WHITE ON: COMPETITORS BATTLE
RAPIDS AND ROCKS IN THE
RACE’S EARLY STAGES.
rafting guide as we cruise
through dense foliage, over
rapids and rebound off the
occasional boulder. More fun
than challenging, it perhaps sets
a false tone. For a second I feel
like we’re on a regular holiday. It’s
not long before those foolish
thoughts are dismissed.
With the novelty component
of the race out of the way, it’s
time for our training to kick in
. . . and the commencement of
a chafe that will endure for
weeks to come. A 21km trail run
with your teammate up front is
the perfect way to test what
you’re both made of and
highlights the areas of your
character that need adjustment.
It’s as close to a therapy session
as you’re likely to find, without
having to fork out $250 to sit on a
couch. This part of the world is
home to some incredible
rainforest and unique wildlife. But
if you happen to chance upon a
Cassowary, pick up your pace,
no matter how much your body
is hurting.
With the shelter of a canopy of
ferns, the course is cool, the vivid
scenery distracting you from the
uphill trot. It’s a place you’re
unlikely ever to experience again,
unless you compete in Defiance
a second time, something I
naively contemplate at this stage
of the race.
The bike leg soon brings us
back to Earth, though. Thoughts
of “surely everyone else walked
this part” and “did we take a
wrong turn?” dominate the 55km
ride through the rainforest.
Battling against steep, rocky
terrain I begin to wonder whether

I’d be able to handle this leg
of the course better if I’d
actually logged some serious
time in the saddle in my
race prep. The answer is
yes – mountain-bike racing
does in fact require moun-
tain-bike training.
On the plus side, I’ve done
my share of adventure races
and never before have I been
able to stop mid-race and fill
up my drink bottle with pure
filtered spring water in the
middle of the bush. Were I
less competitive (read: scared of
slowing the team down), I’d
probably be tempted to have
a quick dip.
As we roll back to our
beachside bungalows at Mission
Beach, the usual boys’ trip beers
are substituted for a night on
magnesium supps. Some
aspects of a traditional lads’ trip
that do ring true? We eat. Carbs
upon carbs at the Castaway
Resort, where we compare the
days’ stories of triumph and
torture in an effort to
repel thoughts of what
is to come tomorrow.
DAY 2: WATER TORTURE
The second day of our ‘getaway’
starts with a 20km mountain-bike
ride along the coastline and
much like many of the competi-
tors’ energy levels, the terrain
is a lot flatter than the day
before. After yesterday’s slog
uphill, today’s ride is more of a
sprint. An 8pm bedtime the
night before sees us wide-eyed
and over-eager, hurtling through
coastal rainforest in an effort
to separate ourselves from
the pack.
Our reverie is short-lived,
though, for next up is my own
personal hell, the kayak leg. Try
as he might, even Ben, my
personal Buddha, can’t keep my
spirits up as we find ourselves in
the middle of the Pacific Ocean,
paddling 16km towards an elusive
Dunk Island. The repetitive
paddling and unchanging
scenery play the kind of mind
games you imagine would
plague a lonely soul in the middle
of a desert. Are we even moving
forward? Is this how I will spend
the rest of my life? Would being
taken by a croc be as bad as this?
FROM LEFT: KETTLEBELL SWIM;
SMILING THROUGH PAIN; HENDERSON
COOLS OFF; IN THE HOT SEAT.
D E P A R T U R E S 01 20
“Beers are substituted for a
night on magnesium supps”
If you’ve ever seen that
famous scene where Bambi
slides around the ice finding his
legs, then you can perfectly
imagine us trying to haul our
kayaks ashore after 2.5 hours at
sea. It’s unfortunate, as the next
leg of the race involves a trail-run
around Dunk Island. The trail
takes in both unspoiled ocean
vistas and an eerie abandoned
resort, the aftermath of devastat-
ing hurricane activity in the area.
It’s the perfect setting for a horror
movie, and a timely reminder that
when you compete in an
adventure race you truly are at
the mercy of Mother Nature.
The ascent of the mountain
on Dunk Island leads to a
panoramic view of the adjacent
reef and archipelago. Reaching
the peak without a phone or cam-
era, in the company of only my
mates, provides one of the
biggest lessons of the entire
experience, something I’ll take
with me on future trips: you don’t
need to live your life through a
lens. I’ll remember that view, the
feeling and that moment shared
with Ben, Dylan and Jaden in
greater clarity than any photo
that would inevitably have gotten
buried in the depths of my iPhone
storage. There’s a certain
satisfaction in not feeling
compelled to share every aspect
of our getaway, and in that brief
moment time stands still.
Unfortunately we can’t linger
too long. We have to paddle back
to mainland Queensland to finish
this beast and enjoy the spoils of
celebratory drinks.
Once back on the sand, our
running training once again kicks
in as we shuffle the final 7km
along the soft sand of Mission
Beach. The expanse of fine, white
sand is impressive in its own right
but to negotiate it by foot and
round out 150km of adventuring
ensures you truly appreciate
its enormity.
GAIN AND SUFFERING
Unusually, only in crossing the
finish line do I really question why
it was that we chose to spend our
annual leave this way. Sure, as
Men’s Health men we love a goal
and are driven to push our bodies
through training and competing.
But in our downtime why were
we not content to get on the piss
and hit the bars of one of our
Aussie capitals? The answer
comes down to connection
– and disconnection.
An event like Defiance
requires disconnecting yourself
from the distractions of your 9-5
lifestyle. Emails evaporate in your
conscious mind when you’re
shuffling past bush possums in
the middle of a jungle or worrying
about the snake watching you
from a nearby branch. And that’s
the exact connection the race
does foster, bringing you closer
to nature, your mates and your
own thoughts. Exhausted, you
emerge from the jungle enriched.
January 2020 51
FAR NORTH QUEENSLAND

FROM LEFT: RACERS HOIST THEIR
RAFT THROUGH THE JUNGLE;
EMERGING FROM MISSION BEACH;
BRIGE CONQUERED; FUN ON THE
OPEN WATER.
uphill running on rainforest trails,
the basics of abseiling, handling a
mountain bike on rocky trails and
paddling through choppy waters.
The best way to train for
technique is to get out there and
be specific on the same terrain
you’ll face on race day. If that’s
not an option you can use
RECOVERY
Training long and hard is only
half of the adventure sports
equation. The real benefits come
from allowing your body to
absorb the rigorous workload
and come back stronger. This
is why in your programming I
would advise following a long day

DEFY THE ODDS

ELITE ADVENTURE RACER AND
WINNER OF DEFIANCE 2019,
COURTNEY ATKINSON,
SHARES HIS TIPS TO HELP
GET YOU THROUGH A
TREACHEROUS TRIP
“All in all, you’re looking at about
12.5 hours of work over two days
of racing for the winning teams,
with the possibility of being out
there on the course for around 20
hours over the weekend. That’s a
lot to train for, but with a bit of
work even the
most inexperienced athletes
can be up to meet the
endurance challenge.”
ENDURANCE
“With such a massive endurance
focus, any pure aerobic exercise
is beneficial. Aim to complete
three days of endurance training
specific to each of the three
main adventure-racing sports:
obstacles in the urban environ- on your legs with a recovery day
ment to challenge your running or upper-body workout.
agility. For climbing, head to your It sounds obvious but make
running, cycling and paddling. local climbing gym and ask to be refuelling and sleep priorities.
In the city, where you don’t shown the basics of harness and Too many people overlook these
always have access to equip- abseiling, plus get a bouldering fundamentals. Yes, there are a lot
ment, running is going to provide session in to work your upper of one per centers out there you
the biggest bang for your buck. body while you’re there. Try could do, but when you add up
It’s all about consistency. Try one paddling on windy days and the hours of training, along with
longer or faster day followed by a letting the direction of the chop work and family commmitments,
day of recovery, easy jogging, hit the side of the boat to help food and sleep have the most
cross training or complete rest. you feel comfortable balancing evidence and are easily the best
At the speeds you’ll be with your hips in a kayak.” use of your recovery time.”
travelling in an adventure race,
long days out hiking in the
mountains can be a great way to
build muscular endurance and
specific strength, as well as
prepare your body and mind to
be on your legs for a whole day. ”
TECHNIQUE
“The reason we love adventure
racing is that there is more to it
than just putting your head down
and your body through the ringer.
The nature of the course means
you’ll likely need some new skills
as well. These include: agility,

52 menshealth.com.au

“There’s more to adventure racing than
putting your body through the ringer”
NUTRITION
“When it comes to refuelling
there’s a big difference between
exercise nutrition and everyday
nutrition. During big weeks of
endurance training, my goal is
to make sure I get enough
kilojoules in to recover properly.
My golden rule is everything in
moderation. If you look in my
fridge, it’s filled with the colours
of the rainbow. No fad diets or
strict kilojoule counting here, just
D E P A R T U R E S 01 20
TRAIN FOR PAIN
ATKINSON’S DEFIANCE REGIMEN
MONDAY:
Ride 60-90 mins on MTB trails
Specific strength and core work
healthy, whole foods every day. in the gym
It’s a bit different though when
it comes to hard training and TUESDAY:
racing. Ensuring that I consume Run 60-75 mins with 20-40 mins of fartlek or
the right fuel, at the right time speed play running over undulating trails
means better quality training Kayak 1-2 hrs – steady into the wind for 60 mins
sessions and better performances then back home with the wind
on race day. We’re talking carbs
and fluids here. And when it WEDNESDAY:
Running
comes to the really long days, a
60mins steady pace
combination of whole foods,
gels, Red Bull, confectionary and Specific strength and core work
water help me achieve my needs.” in the gym
THURSDAY:
Ride 1-1.5 hours on MTB trails
(or 2-3 hrs on road)
Run off the bike
for 20-40 mins as a transition
FRIDAY:
Day off or easy swim for active recovery
SATURDAY:
Run 2-3 hrs taking in challenging hills
and trails – maintain steady pace
Ride 40-60 mins on MTB trails, shake out legs
then have some finishing fun on the trails
FROM LEFT: ABSEILING SKILLS ARE
PUT TO THE TEST; HENDERSON AND SUNDAY:
GORDON CROSS THE FINISH LINE; A Kayak 1.5 - 2 hours (ideally in rough water) with
COMPETITOR EMERGES FROM THE 6 x 8 min efforts at or just below race pace
WATER AFTER THE KB SWIM.
January 2020 53
 Blazer
$3105
Trousers
$580
Belt $235
(All Cerruti
1881)

Vest $65
(Hanro)

Sandals $235
(Russell &
Bromley)

Necklace
$640
(Isaia at
mr-
porter.com)

Bracelet
$290
Emerald
bracelet
$1180
Ring $590
(all
Tateossian
throughout)

Bag $420
(Passavant
And Lee)

Watch
$10,315
(Hublot)

SAGE ADVICE
HIGH-VIS LIMES AND FLUORO PINKS MIGHT HAVE CAPTURED THE
HEADLINES AT THE SPRING/SUMMER 2019 SHOWS, BUT IT WAS THE
PROFUSION OF SAGE THAT PROVED THE MOST WEARABLE HUE. THIS IS
THE SEASON TO GO GREEN AND LEAVE GREY AND NAVY IN THE SHADE

STYLING BY ERIC DOWN

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DIEGO MERINO

WORDS BY SHANE C KURUP

54 menshealth.com.au
 STYLE

1
Lighten Up
“Sage green is a great
way to bring a crisp,
light feel to sporty and
military-inspired pieces
during summer. You can
give the shade a sharp,
urban quality by pairing
it with black.”
– Jason Basmaijian,
CCO, Cerrutti 1881

Bomber $956
(Acne
Studios
at Harvey
Nichols)

Hoodie $430
(Woolrich)

T-Shirt $30
(American
Apparel)

Glasses $535
(Cutler and
Gross)

January 2020 55
STYLE

2
Shade of
Substance
“It’s one of those rare
hues that is neither
too bold nor too
bland. This makes it a
great option for
expanding your
spectrum if you’re
wary of bright colours
but bored of grey.”
– Creative design
team, Canali

RICCARDO CHIUDIONI | MODEL: KAMUI AT NEXT MODEL | SHOT ON LOCATION AT THE ROYAL BOTANICAL GARDENS KEW.ORG
GROOMING: KEVIN FORD USING DERMALOGICA | PHOTOGRAPHER’S ASSISTANT: MICHAEL WILLIAMS | FASHION ASSISTANT:

Coat $610
(Harris Wharf
London)

Shirt $160
shorts $150
Rucksack $730
(All Michael
Kors)

Glasses $730
(Mykita)

Belt $675
(Giorgio
Armani)

Watch $2440
(Tag Heuer)

56 menshealth.com.au
Shirt $920
(Valentino
at matches
fashion.com)

Trousers $150
(mki miyuki-
zoku at Harvey
Nichols)

Sunglasses
$935 (Mykita x
Damir Doma)

Bag $92
(Rains)

Watch $2440
(Tag Heuer)

3
Military Mix
“Sage is more versatile
than you think. It’s easy to
combine with other
shades, but it also stands
well on its own. It looks
particularly strong with
vintage military apparel”
– Jonathan Daniel Pryce,
garconjon.com

January 2020 57
 Shirt $1275
Hat $695
Bag $2065
Belt £360
(all Giorgio
Armani)

Trousers $535
(Jacquemus
at matches
fashion.com)

Watch $10,315
(Hublot)

4
Palette
Booster
“Sage green is the perfect
neutral shade. It lifts the
palette without being too
loud. If going head to toe
feels like overkill, introduce
it with accessories, such as
a hat or bag.”
– Alina Brane,
Creative Lead, Gant

58 menshealth.com.au
 STOCKISTS: ACNE STUDIOS AT HARVEYNICHOLS.COM, AMERICANAPPAREL.COM, ARMANI.COM, CERRUTI.COM, CUTLERANDGROSS.COM, HANRO.COM.AU, HUBLOT.COM, ISAIA AT MRPORTER.COM, JACQUEMUS
AT MATCHESFASHION.COM, MARNI.COM, MHL BY MARGARET HOWELL, MICHAELKORS.CO.UK, MKI MIYUKI-ZOKU AT HARVEYNICHOLS.COM, MYKITA.COM, OLIVERSPENCER.CO.UK, PASSAVANT AND LEE
WMATCHESFASHION.COM, RAINS.COM, RUSSELLANDBROMLEY.CO.UK, TAGHEUER.COM, TATEOSSIAN.COM, TRICKERS.COM, VALENTINO AT MATCHESFASHION.COM, WOOLRICH.COM, WORKSHOP-STORE.COM

$140
5

$1180

Boiler
Jumper

(Oliver
Howell)
(MHL by
T-Shirt
(Marni)

Spencer)
Margaret

Boots $740
suit $1050

(Tricker’s)
Natural
Wonder

– Robert Spangle,
well as earthy hues.”
quality, as it brings an

thousandyardstyle.com
well with dark shades, as
into urban life. It also pairs
“The colour has a soothing

element of the natural world

January 2020 59
STYLE
 HOW TO TALK BARBER
Want to climb out of the chair contented? You need to work
on your barber talk. Because “a little off the top” won’t cut it

How many times have you left the barber shop with a haircut you hate and
thought to yourself, What the hell went wrong? Was that guy an apprentice?
Did he think you’d been drafted? Did you subconsciously ask for it?
Truth is, it was probably due to poor communication. Because as much
as we assume they can, barbers can’t read minds. If you don’t tell them
exactly what you want, they’re probably going to go with whatever they feel
most comfortable giving you. To avoid getting a cut that makes a month as a
hermit seem tempting, you need to brush up on how you instruct the man
with the scissors.
We asked Dan Dixon, from Mister Chop Shop in Sydney, for his best tips on
what to say to your barber to get exactly the haircut you imagined.

1 SHOW UP WITH A PHOTO

Try describing Zac Efron’s hair.
You can’t, right? So instead of giving
never touch a hairdryer, let your
barber know these things, because
they’re pretty crucial pieces of
make it clearer to your barber what
kind of look you want.

some insanely vague directions

to your barber, bring a picture to
show him what you want (this is
where all those hours of scrolling
on Instagram come in handy).
“The more info and direction given
ensures a better result,” says Dixon.
Feel weird about pulling out a
celebrity pic? You can also show a
picture of a haircut you once had
and really liked – and let your barber
take you back to that moment.
information. If you get yourself a
high-maintenance cut but aren’t
willing to do all the stuff that goes
with styling it, you’re just not going
to look your dashing best. “A good
barber wants to know what you
don’t like as much as what you do,”
says Dixon. “He’ll want to know
what products you use, and what
your styling regime, work and
lifestyle are.”
5 FOCUS ON YOUR EARS
Another easy way to tell your
barber what kind of length and style
you want is to focus on your ears.
For example, saying “a little rough
over the ears” or “clean over the
ears” will give your barber a good
idea of how to get you there.
6 GIVE FEEDBACK
If you’re seeing your barber
regularly, let him know what you

2 KNOW YOUR HAIR TYPE

Everyone’s hair is different.
And knowing what kind of hair
you have will help you understand
what type of cut will work best. If
you’re smuggling a whole bunch of
cowlicks under your fringe, or know
that your hair likes to stick out in one
direction, warn your barber. They’ll
be able to tell you if the cut you’re
asking for is a good fit, and give
you a heads-up if that Leo DiCaprio
Gatsby-era number simply won’t suit
4 USE THE RIGHT TERMS
It’s easy to cling to number
settings on an electric clipper (“A
two on the sides and a three on the
top, thanks”), or technical terms
you don’t really understand (“just
a fade, please, mate”), but you’re
not fooling anyone. If you don’t
know what it means, don’t say it. “I
think the biggest mistake is using
incorrect terminology,” says Dixon.
“Some guys pick up words and
instructions along the way and end
up misdirecting a barber.” Avoid
liked and didn’t like about your last
haircut, or tell him if you liked how it
grew out. “To achieve a consistently
great cut, your chopper will need to
know if they’ve gone off track,” says
Dixon. Feedback is good – just don’t
wait until your barber has finished
your entire cut before giving it.
before you dish it out.
7 DON’T BE THAT GUY
If you don’t want a lousy haircut,
don’t be a douchebag. “Be on
time, be present with your barber,
give them direction and create a
WORDS BY ERIN DOCHERTY

your face. using terms like “just take a little relationship,” advises Dixon. “Leave
off”, “short, but not too short” and your phone in your pocket.

3 GIVE A LITTLE
BACKGROUND
If you’re not one to use multiple (or
any) hairstyling products, or would
“just a trim” – because short and
long are all relative from barber to
barber. Instead, try using words like
There’s nothing worse than a
customer who constantly uses
their phone. Your time is no more
“textured” versus “sharp”, as this will important than ours.”

60 menshealth.com.au
 GROOMING

The per
on the sp
54%
centage
ot when
of men w
ho prote
they rec st
copped k on they’
a dud ha ve
per cent ircut. Ju
say noth st over 2
barbers ing and 0
, while 1 change
and hop 0 per ce
e for a b nt keep
e mum
time fro tt er result
m the sa n e xt
me chop
SOURC
E: Mod p er.
ern Salo
n Media

LOCK IT IN! CLEAR AND

CONCISE INSTRUCTIONS
WILL YIELD A RESULT
THAT’S A CUT ABOVE.

January 2020 61
WA T C H E S

Rolex Sea Dwelle er $21,300 TAG Heu uer Aquaracer

Yes, it’s waterprooof to an Autommatic $3450
asstonishing 1220m, but its sheer With its combo of polished and
wrist presence alsso makes it brushed d surfaces, this
equally
q y at home beneath the eye-catcher bbacks its good looks
tailored cuff of yyour suit. with water ressistance to 300m.

Omega
O S
Seamas $11 500
00
A variation on the wristwear
of a certain James Bond, the ceramic
and titanium case houses a dial
etched with laser-engraved waves.
A black beauty.

Seiko Prospex $799 9

Seiko’s divers are renowned for
quality and value. This o
one’s
nicknamed “Arnie” after cam meos on
the wrist of a certain action
n hero in
Tudor Black Bay Bronze $5100 Predator and Comman ndo.
Time to re-enter the bronze age.
The beauty of this material is that
it’ll gradually develop a well-worn
patina to complement the
slate grey dial.

Doxa Sub 200 Divingstar $1590 Longines Legend Diver $3725

Say it loud! Bright dials may not aid This remix of a 1960s classic
visibility at depth, but as Doxa demonstrates that a diver can offer
– makers of the first commercial vintage good looks with its glossy
diving watch – show, they certainly black dial framed by the internal
make your timepiece stand out. rotating bezel.

62 menshealth.com.au
 Mido Ocean Star Diver 600 $2425
For a watch to be COSC-certified
COSC certified, it
must stay accurate to within -4/+6
seconds a day. This Swiss-made
watch ticks that box and boasts an
80-hour power reserve.
DEPTH
CH A RGE
When you’re heading to the beach,
a diver is your ultimate summer watch
THAT FABIEN COUSTEAU learnt to scuba dive
on his fourth birthday is hardly surprising. The
ocean is hard-wired into the DNA of the first
grandson of the famed undersea adventurer,
Jacques Cousteau.
Now 52, Cousteau has built a career as a
deep-sea documentary filmmaker and ocean
conservationist. Over the years, he’s watched
diving equipment dramatically evolve. His
expeditions as an aquanaut and record-breaking
stint of living underwater for 31 days straight were
WORDS BY LUKE BENEDICTUS
invariably assisted by wireless dive computers and
cutting-edge tech.
“But electronics have a tendency to fail at
the worst possible time underwater,” Cousteau
says. “For me, a dive watch is the ultimate safety
mechanism. It is the backup that you can always
rely upon.”
g Superocean
Breitling p Automatic
46 Black Steel $6490
Sporty and bold, this piece is designed for
the adventurous guy who prefers action to
chatter. Swim, surf or dive without fear.
So what should you look for in a diving watch?
For starters, Cousteau reasons, you need a
unidirectional bezel. This ring that encircles a
dive watch’s case records the duration that you’re
underwater. It turns only one way for safety
reasons: if knocked, it’s designed to indicate the
diver has less air or decompression time, not more.
But just as important, Cousteau insists, is
legibility. “A diving watch needs an uncluttered
face so you can read things whether you’re
underwater in a dark cave, for example, or on
deeper dives when you might be under the
influence of nitrogen narcosis.”
Yet Cousteau keeps his trusty Seiko Prospex
diver on his wrist even when he’s on dry land.
“It’s not so much about the act of diving,” he
says. “Putting on a diving watch just transports
you to the possibility of going on an adventure.”
January 2020 63
 AUSTRALIAN

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 E-cigarettes are being demonised for
their link to ng disease but is the
hullaballoo around vaping stopping
us from addressing a far bigger killer?
BY JACK PHILLIPS

66 menshealth.com.au
SPINNING AN E-CIGARETTE between
his fingers like a tiny cheerleader’s
baton, Jamal orders another coffee
because it’s apparent I’m picking up the
bill. The 19-year-old student has just
spent the last five minutes sipping a soy
flat white while waxing lyrically about a
rapper I’ve never heard of. But although
I find his hackneyed use of the word
“legend” grating, I have to admit he has
my attention due to his ability to gush so
enthusiastically while expelling plumes
of blueberry-smelling smoke. “Sorry
about that,” he laughs. “I have the
wattage turned up on this new mod. It’s
good for cloud chasing but the popcorn
lung is a killer.”
That term, “popcorn lung”, might
sound innocuous enough but it refers
to the nickname given to bronchiolitis
obliterans, a condition that affects
small airways in the lungs and triggers
short bursts of coughing. Jamal says
he began experiencing coughing fits
not long after he bought his first high-
powered e-cigarette, an appendage he
admits has become a common sight
among his peers.

January 2020 67
E-cigarettes
have experienced a sharp rise in popularity
since first hitting the market back in 2007.
Assigned a myriad of monikers like
vape, pipe and mod, they’ve spawned
sub-cultures, slang terminology and
drawn celebrity advocates who cast them
as desirable fashion accessories.
But Jamal doesn’t care that Justin Bieber
has a vape. He’s in it, he says, for the “cloud
chasing” – the process of blowing large
clouds of vapour to form complex shapes
like rings, spheres, streams and ripples.
It’s this craze that has prompted Jamal to
tinker with the settings on his e-cigarette to
encourage a thicker plume of smoke. He says
he’s been trying to perform a ‘French inhale’
for weeks, a trick involving blowing smoke
out of your mouth while simultaneously
sucking it back in through your nose. It’s
impressive, trust me.
But here’s the thing. As pretty as that
wispy plume might appear, the question
that’s increasingly being asked is whether
vaping is little more than a fancy delivery
system – a smokescreen even – for a cocktail
of potentially lethal chemicals that can wreak
havoc on your respiratory system? After all,
where there’s smoke, there’s generally fire.
SMOKE AND MIRRORS
You’ve probably heard the reports on vaping-
related deaths coming out of the US in recent
months. Researchers there are investigating
more than 1300 cases of lung disease and
respiratory failure across North America,
including 33 deaths, reportedly linked to
e-cigarette use. At least 20 countries to date
have outlawed the sale of vaping products
including Argentina, Brazil, India, Mexico,
Thailand, Singapore and Vietnam. The likes
of Australia, Canada, Hong Kong, Norway and
Japan haven’t outlawed them entirely
but they are restricted. The Trump White
House, meanwhile, has indicated that a
ban on flavoured e-cigarette products in the
US is imminent.
The Australian Medical Association
also has “concerns” over the marketing and
advertising of e-cigarettes and has suggested
the products “be subject to the same
restrictions as cigarettes”. The Public Health
68 menshealth.com.au
Association of Australia has implored the
government to use “precautionary principles”
to reduce the chance of more people like
Jamal taking up e-cigarettes as a fashion
accessory or hobby.
But although the concern is widespread,
it’s not uniform. There are some respected
medical professionals who believe
e-cigarettes are being subjected to an undue
moral panic inflated by a hysterical media.
Dr Lion Shahab, an associate professor in
health psychology at University College
London admits that while e-cigarettes
are not totally harmless, they could offer a
legitimate route to improving public health.
Having spent the past 15 years studying
the effects of tobacco smoking and more
recently e-cigarettes, he believes the current
demonising of the latter is unwarranted.
Shahab, who’s been published in over
100 peer-reviewed papers and has extensive
experience in the area, told MH his research
on e-cigarettes found they deliver a “60-97
per cent reduction in the level of harmful
toxicants and carcinogens when compared
to cigarettes”. He adds that diseases related
to cigarette smoking take 20-40 years to
develop and that scientists are now looking
at characteristics (or biomarkers) present
in both cigarettes and e-cigarettes to better
predict long term effects on health.
“Cigarettes contain 600-700 constituents
and over 7000 chemicals, 70 of which are
carcinogenic,” says Shahab. “E-cigarettes
by contrast have few; primarily nicotine,
chemicals to dissolve the nicotine and
flavourings. It suggests that e-cigarettes
are a less harmful alternative to cigarettes.”
E-cigarette deaths should be viewed in
context, Shahab adds. “Thirty or so people
have died using e-cigarette products this
year,” he says. “In the same time 75,000-plus
have died in the US from smoking-related
illnesses. We need some perspective.”
“IS VAPING A FANCY DELIVERY
SYSTEM FOR A COCKTAIL OF
LETHAL CHEMICALS? ”
 HEALTH

TRAIL OF SMOKE
WAITING
TO INHALE
It’s the purported hard and fast adoption
of e-cigarettes among young people such as

18-24
Jamal and his pals that has put the products
in the spotlight. In September the US Food
and Drug Administration (FDA) issued a
stern warning letter to Juul Labs Inc., the
maker of one of the most popular brands
of e-cigarettes, for engaging in sketchy
marketing practices targeting “students”.
The FDA took particular issue with the
company’s claims that its product is less
harmful than cigarettes.
MOST COMMON
The thing is, it just might be. Shahab says AGE RANGE OF
much of the data around vaping has been E-CIGARETTE USERS
overstated. He cites figures showing regular AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL DRUG STRATEGY
HOUSEHOLD SURVEY
e-cigarette users who didn’t previously smoke

149,000-
equate to just 0.1 per cent of vapers in the UK.
“If you look at the data in the US the number
is still very small, around one per cent,” he
adds. “What is often reported is the number
of people who have used e-cigarettes in the
past 30 days. If you drill down into some of

250,000
the data, 60 per cent of teens say they have
used e-cigarettes for less than 10 days in
their life. The measurements are incorrectly
presented. The vast majority of young people
using e-cigarettes were smokers.”
There are many health professionals,
including Shahab, who advocate e-cigarettes
as a healthier alternative to cigarettes. ESTIMATED NUMBER
Ironically tobacco-based cigarettes are OF E-CIGARETTE
still legal in all of the 20-plus countries
that have now completely banned the sale
USERS IN AUSTRALIA

27
AUSTRALIAN NATIONAL DRUG STRATEGY
of e-cigarettes, except for Bhutan, which HOUSEHOLD SURVEY

remains the only country in the world to have

outlawed tobacco. Brands are also throwing
their weight behind the cessation argument.
Juul claims its mission is “to improve the
lives of the world’s one billion adult smokers”.
Aspire, another manufacturer, recently
described calls for strict regulation and/or a
complete ban as “draconian” and proposes
that the risk is “what you vape” not vaping
itself. “It would be unfair to blame the
entire alcohol industry for yearly onsets of
methanol poisoning caused by black-market
distillates,” a company spokesperson said. NUMBER OF
Shahab concedes that black market COUNTRIES THAT
products pose a danger but notes that the HAVE BANNED
recent spate of e-cigarette lung-disease
cases is a phenomenon not seen outside of
E-CIGARETTES
January 2020 69
North America. “Many of the people who
died were found to have contracted lung
disease and to have purchased bootlegged
products that contain THC cannabis oil,” he
says. According to the Centers for Disease
Control (CDC), nearly 80 per cent of patients
with ‘EVALI’ (e-cigarette or vaping product
use-associated lung illness) reported using
THC e-cigarettes. These products, Shahab
says, require additional oil-based chemicals
in order to dissolve the THC. “If incorrect
solvents are used then theoretically users
could inhale these oils into their lungs, which
are harmful.”
Nicotine e-liquids are not available for
sale in Australia, meaning Australians have
to look elsewhere to procure them. Eugene,
a 29-year-old from Sydney, is one of the vast
majority of e-cigarette users who were former
smokers. He says he made the switch to his
mango and berry flavoured e-liquid two
years ago and gets around the importation
restrictions by carrying it in from the UK.
Jimmy, 30, from Sydney, sources his Juul
pods from an under-the-counter source in the
city’s eastern suburbs and says that although
he isn’t “unconcerned” about the health risks,
he considers it better than smoking.
Dr Rob Grenfell, Health and Biosecurity
Director for the CSIRO, acknowledges the
danger of bootlegged products in Australia.
“While it is illegal to sell e-liquids containing
nicotine in Australia, there have been many
cases where these liquids, many of which were
imported from overseas, have been found
to contain nicotine and other unknown and
dangerous ingredients,” he says, adding that
exploding devices and ingestion of e-liquids
are of “serious concern”.
But Shahab believes anything is better
than burning tobacco and that e-cigarettes,
when regulated and controlled, will improve
public health outcomes over time. “Studies
show that earlier versions of e-cigarettes
were found to be as effective as existing
quit therapies like patches and gum,” he
explains. “A study published earlier this
year in the Journal of Medicine showed
newer models, which are more effective at
delivering nicotine, increase cessation after
12 months by 70 per cent compared to nicotine
replacement therapies.” For every one per
cent increase in the number of people who use

“E-CIGARETTES WERE FOUND TO BE

AS EFFECTIVE AS QUIT THERAPIES
LIKE PATCHES AND GUM”
70 menshealth.com.au
 HEALTH

e-cigarettes there was a 0.5 per cent increase
in the number of people who stopped
smoking cigarettes, he adds. “As a population
trend that shows a correlation between
e-cigarette use and quitting cigarettes.”
KNOW YOUR ENEMY
Not everyone is buying the e-cigarettes-
as-cessation-aid argument. When asked if
e-cigarette manufacturers are right to claim
their products help people quit smoking,
Simon Chapman, emeritus professor at the
Sydney School of Public Health, cites a recent
study from New Zealand. There, among test
subjects given a mixture of aids, including
e-cigarettes, almost all were still smoking six
months later, he says.
“I cannot think of any prescribed drug
used for any condition where the condition
persisted after six months of use for 93 per
cent of users, and where anything but the
language of failure would be used about such
an outcome,” Chapman says.
But for Aiden, a 29-year-old operations
manager from Sydney, e-cigarettes did help
him quit his 20-a-day, 12-year habit. He cites
concerns about his health and the rising cost
of tobacco as the main reason for his switch
to electronic darts. He acknowledges he still
worries about the effect his 500 puff-a-day
habit (his e-cig has a counter) is having on
his body, but it’s a risk he’s willing to take as
it hasn’t obviously impacted his health, or
indeed, his fitness.
“I have never felt healthier in the last two
years,” he says. “Since quitting cigarettes, I
have completed three marathons, countless
half marathons, one half Ironman and I’m
training for a full Ironman. When I smoked
cigarettes I couldn’t run 250 metres without
having to stop.”
Shahab believes standardising and
regulating e-cigarettes will help ensure
men like Aiden have a better chance at
quitting smoking. “I think the UK has
got it right,” he says. “E-cigarettes are
endorsed by the National Health Service as a
cessation product to be used to stop smoking.
Regulation should ensure they are used and
perceived as such.”
Grenfell advocates a cautious approach
to reduce the dangers of e-cigarettes.
“Continued oversight, monitoring and
regulation is needed to reduce the risk of
serious injury from explosions and ingestion
of e-cigarette fluids,” he says. But he remains
more concerned by the dangers of tobacco,
noting that while smoking rates have been
declining since 1945, 14 per cent of adults
still smoke with harmful consequences.
“Smoking-related illnesses remain a
significant cause of death and disability in
Australia,” he says.
Cloud-chasing Jamal is a rare example
of a young man who didn’t previously smoke
but now vapes. The truth is, while a growing
body of research supports government
concern about the risks of long-term damage
to users, there is an argument that through
careful regulation and use as a cessation aid,
e-cigarettes are the lesser of two evils.
Shahab believes media and health bodies
have a responsibility to put the spotlight
back on tobacco. “It’s hard to make a product
as dangerous as a cigarette,” he says. “They
kill over 50 per cent of users over time. It’s a
complete travesty they’re still available when
something less harmful is being banned.”

QUIT THE STICKS

PREPARE TO BE A QUITTER
Understanding when, where and
why you vape will help you
prepare for when you stop. Make
plans to cope with any triggers,
prepare for any withdrawal
symptoms and acknowledge the
stressors that may distract you
from achieving your end goal.
GET SUPPORT
Ask someone to be your sponsor
during the early stages or
surround yourself with people
who are willing to support you on
your journey. Lean on them for
support and guidance when your
will wavers.
USE QUIT MEDICATIONS
Cessation aids can help make
quitting easier and increase
your chance of success. Speak
to your doctor or a health
professional for advice.

January 2020 71
72 menshealth.com.au
 MIND

Are you really a sweet and

attentive partner – or
something closer to an
over-possessive creep? Rein
in your controlling ways
before, paradoxically, they
send your life into mayhem
BY DANIEL WILLIAMS

ILLUSTRATION BY 50s VINTAGE DAME ILLUSTRATIONROOM.COM.AU

A JEALOUS GUY? Well, I’m better than I

was. But reflecting on past conduct, shame
rises like steam off a swamp. Where they
involved my wife, numerous scenarios would
make me anxious. Her going to parties alone.
Her being home later than she’d said she’d
be. Her chatting with the buff neighbour.
Rationally, I was pretty sure none of these
things meant anything. Emotionally, they put
me on edge. The disconnect didn’t help: the
combination of knowing I was being an idiot
while still feeling threatened could transform
me into a taciturn sack of negative energy for
hours (sometimes days) on end.
My wife could read my mind and resented
my sullenness, receiving it as an accusation,
unjustified and insulting. She explained to
me recently that my jealousy presented her
with a choice: she could change her ways to
pander to my hypervigilance, thus becoming
something other than the woman she is; or
she could stay true to herself, thereby risking
my ire and ensuring a continuation of these
spirit-crushing palls of silence.
One time, when we were able to discuss
the issue calmly, I admitted to having a bit of
a problem and suggested she accommodate it
by, say, calling me when she’d decided to stay
out later than she’d said she would. I thought
that sounded reasonable; she thought it was
controlling behaviour. Even today I might
debate that point. What I wouldn’t question is
how upset my brooding made her or how close
she came to issuing an ultimatum.
In any relationship, possessiveness is
corrosive. You probably don’t need telling that
it’s a marker not of love but of insecurity – or
something darker. If you have controlling
tendencies, tackle them. Experts have a
fair handle on what causes them and how
OF IFF to subdue them, even if they’re not always
curable. The risks of doing nothing are high.
O IN
R . In the worst cases, outcomes can be nothing
short of horrific.

January 2020 73
 SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
Relatively speaking, my affliction was
on the mild side. For an insight into men
much further along the black road I speak
with Jen Waite, who at the age of 25 was an
actress-model supplementing her income by
waitressing when a barman working in the
same restaurant took a shine to her.
This guy, whom she calls “Marco” in her
2017 memoir, A Beautiful, Terrible Thing,
exhibited textbook controlling tendencies in
the seduction phase, according to Waite, who
was too naïve to see what was happening.
Waite’s account goes like this. Marco,
several years older than her, noticed this
woman who’d just moved into a big city and
“tractor-beamed” in on her, charming her
with constant flattery and attention. Within
six months they’d moved in together. After
74 menshealth.com.au
a year they were engaged, and the wedding
followed soon after.
“At the time I didn’t know what ‘love
bombing’ was,” says Waite. To have a man
so seemingly enraptured by her: “For a
woman – I hate to stereotype – but that is
really seductive.” Should she have regarded
his instant ardour as a red flag? In hindsight,
yes. “It’s not just disingenuous if it’s that
intense so early. They’re keeping tabs in a
way by staying in constant communication.
It seems sweet, innocuous – ‘How ya doin’?’
‘How are you?’ – but it can actually be a way
for them to know where you are and who
you’re hanging out with, and to be able to
track your every step.”
Marco, in Waite’s opinion, was not
merely controlling but an actual psychopath
– cunning, manipulative, profoundly self-
CUS
D RO VEL
I SSI REHENDESTIO.
EX EA DOLENT, VELES
AS EOS MAGNAM SUSPICIOUS MINDS: DO
YOU INTERPRET HER
BENIGN INTERACTIONS
AS ACTS OF BETRAYAL?

centred and incapable of empathy. Just home
from hospital after delivering their first and
only child, Waite found an email that showed
Marco was carrying on an affair and looking
for an apartment for he and his mistress.
From that moment the marriage
unravelled quickly. Too often, highly
controlling men who suspect they’re about to
be left can turn nasty. Driving that response
isn’t so much any deep love for their partner
– it’s not even clear these men can love. More
typically, the crucial attachment is to the
status afforded by the relationship. And
for their fragile ego, the prospect of being
dumped is a fundamental threat. In this
instance, however, Waite – frazzled and
suffering from post-partum anxiety
– suspects Marco was tiring of her: “I wasn’t
in any state to be ego-fuel anymore,” she says.
But there was one incident that, on
reflection, chills her. They were in the kitchen
and Waite was telling Marco she would have
to move out – that she couldn’t care for a
newborn while trying to process his farrago
of lies. “He’d never so much as raised his voice
before, but all of a sudden his eyes were black
and he was screaming and coming toward me,
backing me into a corner,” Waite says. At the
time she didn’t believe Marco could be violent
towards her. Looking back now, she’s not
quite so sure.
POWER PLAYS
When women are murdered, rarely is the
killer a stranger to the victim. The Australian
Institute of Criminology reports that between
2012-14, just three per cent (five of 184) of
femicides fell into that category. The rest, ipso
facto, involved a murderous acquaintance,
friend, lover, relative. And were most or all of
these killers also controlling types? We can
say this much with certainty: the presence of
extreme controlling-possessive tendencies
is a risk factor for the heinous crime of
murdering an intimate partner.
We know this because of the work of Jane
Monckton Smith, a forensic criminologist
at the University of Gloucestershire. After
analysing hundreds of murders by men of
women in the UK, she has identified eight
steps to murder – eight stages that end in a
man slaying his partner – and her findings
have been published recently in the journal
Violence Against Women.
What strikes you about the first four stages
is that they appear, at first blush, to cover
a lot of men. One – a history of stalking or
abuse. (Sure, stalking sounds creepy, but does
showing up at a café that is the haunt of an ex
qualify as stalking?) Two – the relationship
develops quickly: he’s looking for total and
“HE NEEDS TO CONTROL. AND NOT
NOW AND AGAIN. ALL THE TIME, UNTIL
IT’S ALMOST LIKE A JOB FOR HIM ”
eternal commitment. Three – he displays
controlling ways: “Who are those texts
from?” “What do they say?” Four – something
happens that challenges his sense of control:
she threatens to leave him or he loses his job.
I ask Monckton Smith whether she
believes a great many men are potential
killers. Her answer: No!
“For too many years I’ve heard this line
that any man could be guilty of this kind of
behaviour, that any man could turn into a
killer,” she says. “And it’s just not true. It’s
this certain type of very, very controlling
man. He needs to control. And not now and
again. All the time, until it’s become almost a
job for him. That’s not your everyman. There
are aspects to control that are in every man
and every woman. But that’s not what we’re
talking about.”
NATURAL BORN CHILLER?
So, what are we talking about? Are control
freaks insane? Are they born or made? And
why do some merely sulk when they don’t get
their way, while others procure a rifle?
Even the most controlling of men,
psychologists say, are not, strictly speaking,
mentally ill, although they may have some
kind of personality disorder. Possessiveness
is often traceable to childhood: something’s
gone awry in the developmental phases of
the mother-child union. Perhaps she didn’t
hold the infant’s gaze often enough, for long
enough, to forge in him a secure sense of self.
Never sure of his needs being met, a pervasive
anxiety takes root.
“And he takes that insecurity into
adulthood,” says Dr Yuliya Richard, a Sydney-
based clinical psychologist who’s worked with
scores of couples cracking under the burden of
a partner’s obsession with control. “His self-
esteem will be low and his anxiety high, and
he will have difficulty tolerating uncertainty.”
In addition, his father, an uncle or older
brother may have modelled manipulation as
a means to an end.
Waite’s experience of a Prince Charming
being unmasked is a familiar plot twist
wherever a controlling mind is central to the
story. Everything hums along nicely, even
thrillingly, until the controller hears the
MIND
woman make her first attempt at erecting
a boundary: “Thank you for buying concert
tickets,” she tells him, “but I’m seeing my
girlfriends tonight.” If he loses his temper,
some women will be strong enough to push
back (“You don’t run my life!”) – and astute
enough to terminate the relationship on the
spot. However, a feature of the controlling
type is that he screens his targets, zeroing in
on the vulnerable or diffident – women whose
default response to hostility is to assume it is
they who must have done something wrong to
warrant this discombobulating eruption from
their hitherto flawless suitor.
A warning: if you’re a guy who likes
referring to your “psycho ex”, know that on
that basis alone experts would advise your
partner to run for the hills. “It’s a massive red
flag,” says Monckton Hill. Why? Because it
exposes a man who can’t face up to what he is,
and so projects his own twisted make-up onto
someone else. And not just anyone. Someone
who used to love him.
As for the controlling man who turns
physically violent, for him there will be
something else, something pathological,
mingling with those possessive instincts. It
could be an impulse-control deficiency, which
allows his urges to override his judgment.
Or antisocial personality disorder, a marker
of which is an inability to see events from
another’s perspective.
I ask Waite whether she thinks Marco was
an everyman whose character was corrupted
by some unfortunate set of circumstances, or
whether he was born different.
“He came across as an everyman
– absolutely,” says Waite. “I mean, that’s the
thing I think people still don’t understand
about psychopaths or sociopaths: they can
be very charming and seemingly three-
dimensional. They can copy empathy and
regular mannerisms. They can be really fun.
But I do believe in his case it wasn’t something
that developed. I think he was born that way.”
Waite says Marco confided once, jovially,
that he’d been expelled from multiple high
schools as a teen. The story seemed funny
at the time. But Waite feels now it pointed to
innate antisocial tendencies, despite Marco
coming from a loving family.
January 2020 75

ARE YOU THE ONE
BEING CONTROLLED?
If you’re a control freak, get
help. If you share a bed with
one, get out. Here are 10 signs
you’ve married a monster
1. They criticise you in public
Humiliating, yes. But as a decent
person you don’t return serve
– which they’re counting on.
2. They deny saying things
you know for a fact they said
It’s gaslighting, and it wears
you down.
3. You’re spending half your
life apologising to them
Anything to keep the peace.
4. There’s one set of rules for
you, another for them
And the hypocrisy drives
you spare.
5. They forever play the victim
When they’re anything but.
6. They have a look that chills
you to your core
And know when to use it
to get what they want.
7. They sneer at your opinions,
belittle your achievements
Because their power rises in
inverse proportion to your sense
of worthlessness.
8. They sabotage your
friendships and slag off your
dearest relatives
No one should challenge them
as the No. 1 in your life.
9. They accuse you of making
decisions without consultation
When, in fact, that’s what they
do – all the time.
10. Their temper is volcanic
But it erupts only at home.
Elsewhere, they wear a mask
of composure.
SOURCE: David McDermott,
expert in mind control and
psychological abuse; decision-
making-confidence.com
76 menshealth.com.au
UNDER THE THUMB
There is, of course, another way of looking at
domestic tyranny. Of flipping it. Because it’s
not always the guy who’s the control freak.
Perhaps you’re married to one?
Sam (a pseudonym) was – for 15 long years.
He ruminates on that time while we chat on
a bench at dusk in a park in Sydney’s inner
west. He says this was his go-to place when
his wife’s vile behaviour was pushing him
towards a nervous breakdown.
“Needless to say, I should never have
married her,” says Sam. “I was a fool. We met
at uni and there was a connection of sorts. She
was smart and she was interested in me, and
that kind of knocked me off balance because
I’d never had much success with girls. She
could turn on the charm, but I wouldn’t say
she never showed her cracks. It was more that
I didn’t have the self-confidence to believe
that someone else better would come along.”
Life became an exercise in walking
on eggshells, Sam says, of doing whatever
it took to appease her and head off her
trademark bursts of incandescent rage. “I
don’t know where to start trying to capture
her nature,” he says. “I would say her
defining characteristic was a disregard for
truth. She lied constantly, about everything,
although there was always one goal behind
it all: to make herself look good – brilliant,
hardworking, tolerant, stoic, generous – while
often at the same time making me feel two
inches tall. Materially, she had everything
you could ever want but she was never
satisfied and would always play the victim.
Behind their backs she would be vicious about
my friends and family. She hated me having
a life outside of her reach.”
One time, Sam says, he achieved
something pretty momentous professionally
and his family came from far and wide to help
him celebrate. But his wife couldn’t bear that,
so she organised a lunch for that same day
with people who meant nothing to him and
insisted the two of them go to that.
“Something else she couldn’t stand was my
having a mobile phone. Think about it: I could
talk to anyone I liked when she wasn’t around!
So, guess what happened? I kept ‘losing’ my
phone. I mean, they kept disappearing. I
thought I was going fucking insane. And she
actively encouraged that idea. Then one day I
found about seven of my phones hidden in one
of her suitcases under the house. That’s the
kind of thing that went on.”
Finally, Sam mustered the courage to leave
his wife. He did so believing she would do
everything she could to make the divorce as
painful for him as possible – and she didn’t
disappoint. But that’s the thing about break-
ups that feature a control freak: when the
abused partner is a woman, she may fear for
her safety; when the abused partner is a man,
he fears something else.
“In my research, what male victims told
me is that they weren’t frightened their
controlling partner would kill them; they
were more frightened that they would destroy
them,” says Monckton Smith. “Destroy their
reputation. Destroy their work. That shows
the marked difference between male and
female behaviours.”
Which isn’t to say uber-controlling women
never kill their partner. They do. It happens.
But in slightly more than 80 per cent of cases
of intimate-partner homicide, the perpetrator
is a straight male, while gay men make up
a proportion of the remainder. Fact: male
control freaks are the more dangerous beast.
LEARNING TO LET GO
“Of course, it’s treatable – in most cases,”
says Matt Garrett, a Relationships Australia
(RA) couples and family therapist in the NSW
Hunter region. On that premise, RA runs
a program, Taking Responsibility, for men
who’ve been abusive in their relationships.
It’s a group course requiring once-a-week
attendance for more than four months. The
work is confronting and the dropout rate is
high – about 50 per cent.
Garrett’s view is that even mild
possessiveness, while rife, is not healthy and
shouldn’t be thought of as normal. “Because
that sanctions the controlling or violent
behaviour and we don’t do that,” Garrett says.
“We want to build relationships around trust
and respect.”
In Taking Responsibility, men learn how
to regulate their emotions via deep breathing,
meditation and positive self-talk. They’re
walked through a history of misogyny and
evolving societal values around women, and
they have their eyes opened to the devestating
impact of spousal abuse on children.
“We see men come through and we see
them change,” says Garrett. They bring their
possessiveness under control. They keep their
fists in their pockets. But there’s a caveat:
within a year, old ways of thinking too often
re-emerge. “Can you improve? Yes! If you’re
prepared to look at your past behaviour and
take responsibility for it,” says Garrett.
“Will [the controlling tendencies] ever be
erased? Probably not. How can you erase
aspects of your personality, particularly if
they’re formative?”
Step one in dealing with control issues
is for the patient to accept he has them,
therapists say. Again, not all men with this
predisposition will recognise it in themselves.
 MIND

“BEHIND THEIR BACKS SHE WOULD BE

VICIOUS ABOUT MY FAMILY. SHE HATED
ME HAVING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF HER REACH”
If they’re monitoring their partner, they
reason, it’s because her conduct obliges them
to. Clinical psychologist Richard says she
stopped treating one patient who felt justified
in assaulting his wife for watching TV instead
of doing his ironing. “You change if you want
to change,” she says. “That’s the starting
point. Some cases are beyond my capacity as
a therapist.”
In fact, many cases are in that category.
There’s no cure for psychopathy, for example.
No pill nor any amount of psychoanalysis
can dismantle a personality disorder, so the
hope with these men is that they’re not also
inclined towards violence – which most of
them aren’t.
Forensic criminologist Monckton Smith
has visited prisons to interview intimate-
partner killers. I ask for her impressions of
these men, whether they appeared to be wired
entirely differently to the rest of us.
“No. Not at all,” she says. “Personality-
disordered people are going to be somewhat
different in the way they respond to things,
but generally speaking they have the same
moral code, just different methods of
justifying what they do.
“[Normal people] would think nothing
besides self-defence would justify murder, but
they [killers] use neutralising techniques that
make it okay: ‘Society tells me I’m entitled
to this, so how can she take it away?’ A lot of
these men commit suicide after killing their
partner, which shows you how important this
winning, this status is to them.”
Five years after leaving Marco, Jen Waite
is doing well. She’s emerged stronger from
her ordeal, she says, harbours no blanket
distrust of men, is dating again (tentatively;
baby steps) and working on her second book,
Survival Instincts – a work of fiction this
time, though featuring an ultra-possessive
psychopath. Write what you know, they say.
As for Sam, two years after escaping his
own domestic prison, he’s seeing someone
new who hasn’t “a single controlling atom in
her body”.
“The only person you want controlling
RELINQUISH CONTROL:
your life is you,” Sam says. To which we’d add
AS THE SAYING GOES, IF
the corollary: the only life you have a right to YOU LOVE SOMEONE,
control is your own. SET THEM FREE . . .

January 2020 77
 HOW
TO M
AKE

A handy guide to acquiring and

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usta inin g m eaning
s a n d
ta n ce
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over t h e a d
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78 menshealth.com.au
 TACTICS

AND

January 2020 79
 DO I HAVE ANY REAL FRIENDS?
A scientific-ish analysis of one man’s social circle
By Richard Dorment

T
HERE IS SOMETHING a little sad about a
40-year-old man spending the better part
of three months trying to figure out if he
has any friends. Fine: it’s really sad. But
earlier this year, after my social-media feeds started
filling up with posts on a crisis in men’s friendship,
I looked in the mirror and asked some hard ques-
tions. Do I have any real friends? Would I be happier
with more friends? And, is this what I look like now?
So I did what any rational person would do. I
interviewed 12 sociologists, psychiatrists, linguists
and anthropologists about what it actually means
to have and be a friend today. I read hundreds of
pages of studies on how guys build and maintain
friendships. Then I conducted my very own survey
about what kind of friend I am. I randomly selected
about 70 people from my contact list, sent them ten
multiple-choice questions and promised them total
anonymity in exchange for some brutally honest
feedback. I started with a simple question – “Do you
considermeafriend?”–andwentdeeperfromthere.
Theresultshelpedmeunderstandnotjustthestateof
my own friendships but also what people get wrong
(and right) about Male Friendship™. According to
my own research and the work of others, turns out
that most men do have friends – we’re just used to
doing friendship in our own imperfect way. And as
with everything else in our lives, we could probably
benefit from getting better at it. Here are a few of my
highly unscientific findings.

“Do you consider “How good of a friend

me a friend?” would you consider me?”
Median Number of people
1 score who said they
feel close to me: 3 10
You kind of know We’re basically
and vaguely like me Hamish and Andy

OF THE 70 OR SO PEOPLE who got the
survey, 41 of them took time away from being
bored at work or scrolling through Instagram
to answer my questions and each and every
one said they considered me a friend. Which
is a strong, reassuring number. But then why,
on a recent Saturday night when I had an
extra ticket to a boxing match, did I struggle
to find someone who felt like a good enough
friend to sit ringside with for an evening of
BS-ing between undercard fights?
Dr Keith N. Hampton, a sociologist at
Michigan State University, walked me through
the social behaviours that might have put me
in this position. “Men tend to have larger, more
diverse overall social networks than women,”
he explains. We are also more likely to focus
on “bridging” (building looser, more diverse
networks that are helpful for getting ahead
professionally), whereas women are better at
“bonding” (building closer, more intimate
relationships). Maybe I’ve been building
bridges my whole life, sometimes at the
expense of bonding. It would explain my
boxing-match conundrum.
THAT SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT: I know and like
a bunch of people, but there aren’t many I feel
close to (or who, evidently, feel close to me).
Still, three close friends feels like enough
– I didn’t go to the boxing match alone
– and it tracks with most of the research
around friendship.
“Multiple studies have obtained the same
result for the mean size of discussion
networks,” says Dr Matthew Brashears,
associate professor of sociology at the
University of South Carolina. Those “discus-
sion networks” – which roughly translates to
people you talk to on a regular basis – are
about three people for women and men,
which makes me wonder about all those
stories in my social feed about men having
no friends.
The confusion seems to date back to
2004, when the General Social Survey
reported a huge increase in social isolation,
particularly among men – and since social
isolation is tied to higher risks of depression,
dementia, cardiovascular disease and early
death, people sort of freaked out. This was the
survey that birthed 15 years’ worth of think
pieces about the dangers of men having no
friends. The only trouble with it is that it was
probably wrong.
To measure social isolation, the GSS
researchers asked survey respondents to
name up to five people to whom they felt
close enough to have “discussed important
matters” over the past six months. The study
never defined “important matters” – big life
events, thoughts and feelings? – and
Brashears and other researchers have since
uncovered that most of the people who didn’t
talk to anyone about important matters
simply felt they didn’t have anything
important to say. In other words: men had
people to talk to – they just didn’t do it.
More recently, a survey of 1254 people
found similar results. Its biggest conclusion
wasn’t that men and women have different
numbers of friends – almost half of both sexes
said they have one to four close friends (just
like me!) – it was that men are more likely to
say they don’t really need friends . . . but
hey, thanks for asking.

80 menshealth.com.au

“What’s the thing
you like least about
me as a friend?”
T O O U N R E L I A B L E : 5%
T O O S E L F I S H : 0%
T O O C L O S E D O F F : 74%
W E D O N ’ T H AV E A L O T
I N C O M M O N : 21%
THE OVERWHELMING MAJORITY of people
said that I “can be too closed off and
emotionally distant”. Which is a fair enough
knock – I typically keep things to myself.
“Men are less comfortable expressing and
sharin
sociologist Dr Richard Schwartz. “They have
less of a vocabulary for emotional things and
their friendships tend to be based on doing
things together rather than sitting face-to-
face and having a conversation about
intimate things.” This shoulder-to-shoulder
model of friendship, as it’s known, is deeply
rooted in the male experience. But when we
rely too heavily on those transactional
relationships, we miss the benefits of having
emotional connections.
“It’s not just that it feels nice to talk about
stuff with friends,” says Dr Mario Luis Small, a
professor of sociology at Harvard. “There’s a
ton of research documenting the importance
of literally just talking. In one study about
women with breast cancer, people were
randomly assigned to talk or not talk about
the issues they were facing. And the women
g their
th to talk through
experience lived almost twice as many
TACTICS
months as the women who were told not
to talk about it. Among men and women
battling rheumatoid arthritis, among
people who suffer from asthma, you see
the same results.”
But there’s a downside to too much
talking, says Dr Amanda J. Rose, a professor
of psychological sciences at the University of
Missouri. If friends spend all their time
analysing problems instead of having fun,
they might end up depressed and anxious
– a psychological condition called co-rumina-
tion. “We should be aiming for that sort of
sweet spot where we can interact and enjoy
close relationships without getting too
weighed down by taking on other people’s
problems too strongly,” Rose says.
While a lot of us could benefit from
buildingg more intimate connections, it can be
hard to call a friend an
nd say you want to see
them, Schwartz says. “It’s a little embarrassing
to want something in that way, but we all feel
better and thrive bette er when we have a
couple of relationship ps in which we feel we
are actually known by the other person.”
So, 41 friends, three close friends, and only
a few more sentencess to fit on this page. The
takeaway for me and maybe
m you: spend all
the time you want drin nking beer or playing
basketball with your frriends, but try to talk
more. Not too much. JJust a little. And if you
can’t find a friend you feel comfortable with,
find a therapist. Who knows?
k After some
time on the couch, you may be ready to open
up a bit more over bee ers or basketball and
forge a handful of dee eper, richer friendships.
Last time I checked, everyone could use
another friend.
“Me en are less
comfortable
e
expressing
an
nd sharing
emo otions than
wo omen are”
January 2020 81
 you really connecting? But this question
isn’t specific to video games – it’s the
defining existential crisis of our age, in

WINNING
which we spend more time interacting
with one another’s social-media profiles
than we do with the far less curated
people behind them. Games are just

AT FRIENDSHIP
the latest manifestation of this kind of
virtual friendship.
There’s already debate around whether
friendships that exist primarily online
Can gaming keep men connected? can ever feel as meaningful as those in
person. Evolutionary psychologist
By Sean O’Neal
Dr Robin Dunbar is sceptical online

T
HE TRADITION STARTED,
Matthew recalls, not long after he
left his university friends behind
to attend law school. Once a week,
the friends started meeting up virtually,
first through co-op titles like Resident
Evil 5 and then, as their displaced group
swelled, rounds of Dungeons & Dragons.
Brian, 53, shares a similar story: after
graduation, he and his friends kept in
touch by playing Halo 2, meeting weekly
for nearly a decade and a half. Although
one friend has more or less fallen off, Brian
and his mate Greg still keep the standing
invite, using voice chat to fill each other in
on major life events, all while protecting
humankind from annihilation.
Online gaming also gave Lucas, 27, the
pretext he needed to reach out to guys
he’d once spent nearly every afternoon
with, huddled around a Nintendo 64.
He looked up their old usernames on his
PlayStation and, through games like
Rocket League and Fortnite, managed
to rekindle many of his old friendships.
Gaming, he says, reduced some of the
inherent awkwardness of having those
conversations over the phone.
For millions of men, this is now part of
the lure of multiplayer video games, which
around 25 per cent of all adults either
played or watched in 2016 and 2017. Half
of those people reported that “friendship”
was one of their main reasons for playing,
whether it was finding new relationships
or keeping tabs on real-life friends. It’s a
growing phenomenon that puts to rest the
stereotype of the gamer as isolated and
socially maladjusted.
“It’s how I found out [Greg] was getting
married again,” Brian says. “He told
me he wouldn’t be able to play for the
next few weeks because he was going
on his honeymoon.”
These days, Matthew, now 35, says it’s
just one friend he keeps up with through
gaming, but it’s more regular than before.
He estimates at least 25 per cent of those
sessions are spent checking in.
“There are some friends I was very close
with but don’t see very often, and when
I do see them, I feel like the entire time
we have to catch up on everything that’s
happened in their lives,” Matthew says.
“And I don’t feel that way with him.”
Granted, these may not sound like the
strongest friendships to begin with. If
you can casually announce something as
life-altering as your own wedding while
waiting for a screen to load, are
interactions can forge lasting bonds and
believes they may even hinder the social
skills needed to make connections in
real life.
Others, like Dr Geoffrey Greif, author
of Buddy System: Understanding
Male Friendships, are (slightly) more
optimistic. “If somebody is lonely and
they find a way of communicating with
people around video games and that helps
them, then that’s a good thing,” he says.
Still, Greif adds that if someone spends
all of their time talking online, he’d
advise them to cut it down to 90 per cent
and use that remaining 10 per cent to find
more face-to-face interactions.
Whatever your opinion, perhaps it
stands to reason that we should adjust our
attitudes about the relationships you can
have within video games. When I suggest
to Brian that some people might not
consider his mostly online friendships
“real”, he openly scoffs.
“That sounds silly,” Brian says. “People
bond over all sorts of stuff. If we bonded
over fishing, is that not real? All you’re
doing is drowning worms and drinking.
Is that not a real friendship?” In other
words, virtual friendship can be as real
as you make it. And suffice it to say, it sure
beats the alternative.

A BRIEF A 2018 STUDY in the Journal HOURS 1–2 HOURS 3–10 HOUR 24
of Social and Personal
HISTORY OF Relationships found that
THE THE THE FIRST TEXTS FOR
YOUR NEXT HANDSHAKE CONNECTION SHITS AND GIGGLES
people became “good/best”
FRIENDSHIP friends after 200 hours of
interaction. “There are ways No matter where you meet, “This stage will establish Here, you’ll notice possible
How long does it take
to help new friendships there’s ample room for the a lot: what kind of work deal breakers like bigotry,
to make a new friend?
along,” says Dr Geoffrey Greif, initial good-to-meet-you does this guy do, do we misogyny and mismatched
Check the timeline
a professor at the University small talk. The next level will talk the same language, do politics. What will you
of Maryland School of Social happen or it won’t, so don’t we like golf versus chess tolerate? Greif’s litmus test:
Work. “There are also red sweat it too much, says Greif. versus hitting the gym?” “Do I like myself when I’m
flags to look for. Your gut will Greif says. around this person?”

tell you a lot.”

82 menshealth.com.au

+
HOURS 30–33
THE FIRST
BRO DATE
Women tend to thrive in
face-to-face scenarios (wine
and talking), while men do
well in shoulder-to-shoulder
situations, says Greif. Grab a
beer, but watch or do
something, too.
TACTICS
“People bond o
“ over
all sorts of s
stuff.
If we bonded o over
fishing, is that not rreal?”
HOUR 48 HOUR 60 HOUR 80 HOUR 94 HOUR 200
AND BEYOND
THE FIRST THE FIRST THE FIRST DATE THE
CONFESSION FAVOUR WITH PARTNERS CROSSROADS THE FUTURE
When do you reveal deep Where’s the favour on It’s a good indicator, says If you’ve made it this far, Relax. You’re
personal information? You the pain scale? Asking Greif, but remember that you you probably have a legit now free to ask
really need to read the a friend to help you don’t have to force everyone friend. If it’s mutual, your mate to do
room, Greif says. “You move isn’t a character in your life on one you’re golden. But if it’s the airport
may have to make the test, but posting bail another. Don’t punish him and not you, you pick-up.
first outreach, and that kind of is. yourself and your mates for may have to distance
carries risk.” being multifaceted. yourself.
January 2020 83
 “I GOT SOBER AND
FOUND A NEW KIND
OF FRIENDSHIP.”
Around my dad and my drinking buddies, I learned
to ignore my feelings. Then I discovered how to
connect with men in a way I never could before
By Sean Hotchkiss
W
HEN I GOT SOBER IN 2017,
my new AA sponsor, a tall,
goofy painter named Kip,
invited me to a men’s meet-
ing in the basement of a church. I arrived
early, shook some hands and sat nervous-
ly in the circle of folding chairs.
Soon the room was filled: 25, maybe 30
men of all ages. The space boomed with
their laughter. There were hairy, macho
men sitting with thin, tattooed hipsters,
and suited business types grabbing coffee
and cookies for old men with walkers.
There was even a priest who sat in the
corner. Everyone called him Father.
It took me about five minutes to realise
how scared I was of all of them.
Each man in the circle had a few min-
utes to tell a bit of his story and my heart
thumped as my turn approached. At one
point, my vision went blurry. All I wanted
was to think of something I could say that
would impress these guys. Let them know
I was okay, that I was one of them. An epic
war story maybe, or a joke.
My turn came. Fifty or so eyes affixed
to me.
“I’m Sean,” I said. “I’m an alcoholic.”
My throat went dry. Every good
line I’d come up with disappeared. And
I panicked.
When I think of being a kid, I think
of riding around in the passenger seat
of my dad’s old Toyota 4Runner. My dad
lived to drive – 60,000–80,000km a year.
His carbon footprint rivalled those of
small airlines. Even a Sunday-morning
coffee-and-doughnut run became a grand
adventure of loading up the dog, rolling
down the windows, turning up the stereo
and accelerating our way toward glory.
It was during these rides that I received
my education on how to be a man. There
84 menshealth.com.au
was classic rock or country music to sing
along to and there was proud proselytis-
ing from my father, who was alone with a
captive audience (seven-year-old me) and
no one to tell him he was wrong.
One thing I learned in the truck is that
I was never right. Maybe I was just seeing
things the wrong way. Maybe I could just
be a bit more flexible.
Me about my father’s new wife: “I don’t
think Barbara likes me.”
Dad: “Aw, buddy, of course she does. You
just have to do exactly what she says. You
know what Papa used to say: ‘You catch
more flies with honey than vinegar.’ ”
Me: “I’m scared about the science
project. Do you really think we’ll be able to
build a rocket?”
Dad: “Scared? C’mon! You’re talking
to the 1965 Boy Scout science-fair champ
right here.”
Eventually I stopped speaking at all,
because my dad – a longtime human-re-
sources consultant – would deftly swat
away my every concern with a very
particular brand of PR juju. His manip-
ulation was so subtle it took me 30 years
to realise I didn’t actually have any of my in his suicide in 2005. I toasted his death
own feelings. and kept on going.
Instead, I learned to be a nice guy. To So I joined AA, raw and hurting and
shut my mouth, to mask all that vinegar surrounded by men who I’d already
with honey. And it ended at the bottom decided had the potential to injure me. I
of a bottle. Because when you silence simultaneously wanted to punch them in
your true feelings, you get overwhelmed. the face and have them pat me on the head
You start living for others and denying and say, “I love you, son”. It was all pretty
yourself. And ultimately you get really, head-spinning. So what wound up coming
really angry. Some men indulge in their out of my mouth in that first meeting was
anger – they’re the guys you see bullying a cry for help.
the barista, picking fights on Twitter “I just feel like the new kid on the play-
– but if you’re like me, you end up turning ground,” I said, my eyes never leaving the
that anger on yourself and it later becomes tile floor.
hopelessness. My dad wasn’t spared, After the group, a guy my age came up
either. His own depression culminated and put his arms around me.

“I didn’t have to be nice, and
“I’m no good at any of this stuff, either,”
he said.
His name was Alexander, and he
became one of my first sober mates,
who I would learn were very different
from the types of friends I’d had
before. Recovery bonds you quickly
with people. You cut through the
garbage and get to the kinds of vulnera-
bilities that social-research professor
Dr Brené Brown writes about – and it
transforms you.
I’d always had a lot of male friends. We
shared common interests, connected
over sports, music or our careers. We
got fucked up together after work or did
no one tried to change me.
In fact, these guys seemed to
accept me exactly as I was”
cocaine on the weekends. But the relation-
ships never went much deeper.
To go deep, I turned to the feminine.
When I was a kid, my mum was the one
who listened, so I shared my feelings
with women. My 20s are a graveyard of
women who started as friends, became
friends with benefits and then turned into
strangers when things got too intimate.
Later, I began opening up to gay men I met
working in fashion. Beautiful friendships
developed, but something was missing.
I had to risk real connections with other
straight men.
Shortly after I joined AA, my therapist
recommended Robert Bly’s seminal book
Iron John, which shed some more light on
my daddy issues. I learned that looking
to women for the acceptance I’d sought
from my dad was futile – like going to the
dentist for a triple bypass.
I needed to go through the discomfort of
making male friends who I felt would try
to deny me my feelings, as my father had.
I took a hiatus from dating and hung
out exclusively with dudes. Initially, I
felt all my adolescent pangs of accep-
tance bristling.
Texting Ray to grab coffee or chatting
up Jarrett after a meeting made me feel
as vulnerable as I did when enduring any
female courting process.
Over the next few months, I went to
Kip’s painting studio to play guitar. I
took boxing classes with Ben, hiked with
Mark, geeked out on Free Solo with
Bruce, and talked dharma over green
tea with Danny. Slowly, I began to build
intimacy with men. I didn’t have to be
nice and no one tried to change me. In
fact, these guys seemed to accept me
exactly as I was.
Alexander and I put together a group of
TACTICS
sober guys who would meet to run trails
in the park. The runs were hot, dusty
and gratifying, but the best part was
just hanging out in the parking lot
afterward, shooting the shit. It
reminded me of being a kid again,
before booze, before puberty, before
all the confusion started.
As the wound around my dad healed
and I stayed sober, I started taking more
risks. I enrolled in grad school and early
on, I noticed a tall guy with a long face who
looked familiar.
Nate had been one of my best friends 30
years ago.
We’d lost touch when my mother moved
to an adjacent town, but we quickly bond-
ed all over again. Turns out we had
some things in common: addict fathers
and the subsequent pain around
male relationships.
He was a spiritual guy who lived in an
ashram in LA and I went to visit him one
day. We talked for four hours, covering the
entire 30 years we’d spent apart.
To talk through my experience with
someone else who grew up like me, in a
tough part of town, was healing on a new
level. He didn’t even have to say, “I get
you”. I just saw it on his face.
Nate was a talented songwriter and he
agreed to play me something he’d been
working on.
He sang of men growing and evolving
together – of conquering fears and being
“broken wide open”.
On the trip home from the ashram
that night, I cried. Like sloppy, clown-
faced Michael Jordan cried when he was
inducted into the Hall of Fame. It was the
kind of male behaviour that never would
have flown in my dad’s truck. But I was
driving now.
January 2020 85
HOW TO
TRAIN
YO R
O
ME R
86
Y
menshealth.com.au
 MIND

THERE’S NO SUCH THING

AS A “BAD” MEMORY.
THERE ARE ONLY UNTRAINED
ONES. SO WHAT EXACTLY
TONES OUR GREY MATTER?
EXPERTS HAVE A LOT TO
SAY ABOUT THAT
BY GINNY GRAVES ILLUSTR ATION BY EDMON DE HARO

D
r Alexandra Nicole Trelle, a
memory r searcher at Stanford
University, is in the middle
of explaining why dozens of
research centres around the
country are everishly trying to
understand the most effective
ways to prevent big memory
problems. “There are huge
studies in parts of Europe as
well, so the scope is really . . .”
she says, leaving dead air where
more words hould be.
“Internat onal?” I fill in.
“It’s an international effort,”
she says.
It’s a minor lapse, Trelle’s
inability to come up with the
word international – nothing
like the time I blanked on my
next-door neighbour’s name
when I was introducing her
to friend. But the fallibility
and fragility of memory
are precisely why so many
incredible minds are striving
to find effective ways to protect
and even augment one of the
brain’s most vital functions.

January 2020 87

There’s some seriously Black Mirror
stuff in the works. Neuroscientists at Wake
Forest Baptist Medical Center, for instance,
recently completed the first-ever human trial
of an implant that delivers electrical pulses
to the brain’s memory centre – it enhanced
participants’ recall by 37 per cent. A team at
MIT improved memory in mice by exposing
them to a combination of flashing strobe
lights and a rapid clicking sound. Even more
sci-fi, researchers at both MIT and the French
National Centre for Scientific Research
successfully inserted false memories into
the brains of mice – a feat that proves the
malleability of memory. And Facebook and
Elon Musk are (separately) working on brain-
computer interfaces that may allow our minds
to one day merge with digital memory banks.
The scientific frenzy is driven in no small
part by an everyday mystery that, odds are,
worries you too: why do so many of us who
almost certainly don’t have diagnosable
memory problems forget the name of
the movie we watched last week or stride
purposefully into the living room, then stand
there, slack-jawed, unable to remember what
we came for?
My search for answers led me to the
Stanford Memory Lab, where Trelle, 29,
who has been studying the inner workings
of memory for the past eight years, agreed
to show me around. I expected to find
a sterile-looking facility with dozens of
beeping machines or at least a beaker or
two of mysterious liquid. But the “lab” is a
nondescript room with a couple of computers
and a TV – a blandness that belies the
significance of the research taking place
there. Over the past decade, hundreds of study
subjects have submitted to hours of memory
testing while lying inside the high-res MRI
machine tucked away in an adjacent room,
allowing scientists to peer into their brains
and watch what happens as they form, and
then try to retrieve, memories.
IF YOU’RE HALFHEARTEDLY ATTENDING TO
NEW INFORMATION, IT’S MORE LIKELY TO
BLOW AWAY LIKE LOOSE TOPSOIL
88 menshealth.com.au
“We set up the MRI to optimise our
ability to measure what’s happening in the
hippocampus, an area of the brain that’s
critical for memory,” says Trelle, the study
author. “We can actually see very distinct
neural signatures when people successfully
remember versus when they forget.”
The memory tests are sensitive enough
to pick up subtle changes in recall – some
of which are due to the gradual dulling of
memory with age. Others may indicate
something more serious, like the protein-
build-up calling cards of Alzheimer’s. By
watching memory lapses in action and
comparing people’s performance over time,
Trelle and her colleagues hope they can
identify the early signs of memory decline and
uncover its causes, as well as clues about how
to prevent it.
It’s unsettling to imagine scientists
peering at your brain as it flounders. “What
causes those lapses?” I ask Trelle. “Why can’t
I remember the name of the restaurant I went
to last week but can still recall the look on my
friend’s face a decade ago when she told me
she was getting divorced?”
It’s pretty simple, she says. “When you
don’t remember, it’s because you weren’t
paying attention. Memory and attention
are inextricably linked.” If you’re only
halfheartedly attending to new information,
it doesn’t get deeply encoded in your brain, so
it’s more likely to blow away like loose topsoil
on a windswept plain.
That’s normal, by the way. It happens to
everyone, from execs who are killing it to
Jeopardy! savant James Holzhauer. When
it comes to memory, there’s a vast range
of normal, but wherever you are on the
spectrum, you can make it better. Scientists
like Trelle go as far as saying, maybe a little
hyperbolically, that unless there’s a real
problem, there’s no such thing as a “bad”
memory; there are just trained and
untrained ones.
MY MEMORY BOOST
10 J Q K A
A
DR ALEX MULLEN, three-time
winner of the World Memory
Championships, a decathlon
of memory skills
One of the ways I try to keep
my memory in shape is by
memorising the order of a
deck of cards each day. I
wouldn’t be a true memory
competitor if I didn’t!
The challenge: we live in a world with
more distractions than ever, where pings
and chirps vie relentlessly for our attention.
(Really, when was the last time any of us
fully paid attention to anything?) In fact,
our cultural distractibility may be the
main reason more and more of us have
the disquieting sense that our memory is
failing. Fortunately, researchers have begun
exposing the cost of our inattentiveness
– and have some ideas for keeping our
brains on track.
Being “on” turns memory off
Some of the best insight into what we’re up
against these days is being revealed at the
Stanford Memory Lab, where researchers
have devoted considerable time to seeing if
and how modern life – specifically, media
multitasking – is messing with our memory.
“The human brain, by design, can only focus
on one thing at a time,” says Dr Anthony
Wagner, the Memory Lab’s director.
Think you’re a proficient multitasker?
That’s like saying you’re a good drunk driver.
Sure, it feels like you’re masterfully juggling
two or more things at once. But your attention
is actually flitting, like a hummingbird,
from one thing to another, with predictable
consequences. Wagner and his team at

SUCCESS, IN RED. MEMORY IS REALLY
COMPLICATED: THIS FMRI DATA FROM THE
STANFORD MEMORY LAB SHOWS THE
NUMEROUS AREAS OF THE BRAIN (FROM TWO
DIFFERENT ANGLES!) THAT ARE RECRUITED
DURING SUCCESSFUL MEMORY RETRIEVAL.
Stanford discovered that heavy media
multitaskers score lower on tests of working
memory, the brain’s temporary scratch
pad, where we store information about what
we’re doing in the moment. And that may
have long-term effects. Multitasking may
also interfere with the ability to encode and
retrieve long-term memories.
Checking Instagram while binge
watching isn’t the only tech-related
reason your conversation is
increasingly peppered with
phrases like “what’s his name” 643-
and “that movie with Chris
Hemsworth”. Indeed, there’s a 975-
growing list of potential ways
our favourite digital tools may
8039
subtly chip away at our recall.
Simply knowing that you can
check Google for information
you’ve just learned, for instance,
makes you less likely to remember it. Typing
notes instead of writing them in longhand
may reduce your ability to recall the
material. And reading text solely on screens,
which we tend to skim more than immerse
ourselves in, may undermine your capacity to
remember what you read. (RMIT researchers
may have a solution; they’ve developed a
difficult-to-decipher typeface that demands
extra concentration. Called, memorably, Sans
Forgetica, it significantly bolsters recall.)
There’s even some evidence that taking
pictures of your experiences blurs your
COURTESY STANFORD MEMORY LAB (2)
memory of them. Call it the Selfie Effect.
“There’s mounting evidence that when we
engage with technology while we’re trying
to experience something, it short-circuits
the memory-encoding process and
diminishes our ability to recall the
experience later,” says Dr Jason Chein,
director of Temple University’s Brain
Research & Imaging Center.
Load your memory right
Even in our tech-tethered world, most
of us have the potential to remember far
more than we actually do. Ironically, this
is where technology may help save us. For
instance, Dr Adam Gazzaley, a professor of
neurology and psychiatry at the University of
California, San Francisco, and his research
partners have created and published research
on MediTrain, an app-based meditation
program designed to improve your
ability to regulate your attention
and tune out distractions, just as
meditation has been doing for
thousands of years. Until the
program is available in another
year or two, regular meditation and
brain-training games may help, too.
(See page 86.)
Ultimately, we need to adapt our use
of technology to our brain, rather than the
other way around. That means not just
using tech programs to enhance our focus
but making room for nondigital methods
that do so as well. “You can dramatically
improve your attention ten- to 15-fold,”
says Dr Murali Doraiswamy, director of
Duke University’s Neurocognitive Disorders
Program. His research shows that although
memory and attention peak in our mid-to-
late 20s, we can improve, regardless of age.
“After 25 sessions of cognitive training,
40-year-olds may outperform untrained
20-year-olds – but it takes effort,” he says.
By “effort”, he means doing things like
turning off your devices so you can actually
listen, challenging your intellect and
spending hours immersed in a single task
like reading an actual book. Yes, you’ve heard
that before, but experts like Doraiswamy
keep repeating it, because we’re not getting
the message.
Training your attention is a big piece of
MIND
the remember-more equation. If you sit in a
meeting without making an effort to retain
what’s being said, roughly 50 per cent of
what you hear will disappear in a day or
two and 90 per cent will be gone within a
month, warns Doraiswamy. The same goes
for books, movies, conversations. Poof. To
remember something, you need to remind
your brain it’s important. Take notes after
meetings or when you finish a book. Explain
interesting things you’ve picked up during
the day to others. At the very least, think
through information after you hear it. By
giving it as much richness and context as
possible, the pieces of it are more likely to
be distributed throughout your mind’s
memory network – the neural equivalent
of hitting your brain’s “save button”.
Deep memory encoding – cementing
information into your mind so you can
recall it months or years from now
– works best when you relate the
information to existing memories or
knowledge in a meaningful way, says Trelle.
Which explains why my friend’s divorce
details are still so vivid and why nearly
everyone remembers what they were
doing on 9/11.
So next time you meet someone you
want to remember, don’t just repeat their
name. Try to find a shared interest. Make
a connection. By doing so, you’ll encode
the name more deeply into your brain’s
existing web of memories, and it will
become part of your personal lexicon.
“In the memory world, we call this
depth of processing, but it’s really just
being curious and interested about
new people or places or ideas or
information,” says Trelle.
And being curious and interested does
more than bolster your memory. It makes you
better at life.
January 2020 89
MIND

THE FINE ART

OF FORGETTING
It was one of the worst things I had
ever seen, but three months later I’d
all but forgotten about it. Why?
BY BILL GIFFORD

I HAD ALMOST reached my

exit when the traffic suddenly
slowed. It was Remembrance
Day, and I was annoyed because
it meant I would probably be late
to a BBQ. Then I heard the sound
of skidding tyres. A motorcycle
careened into view on my left,
out of control. It bounced off two
cars before it tipped over and slid
under the bumper of a car just in
front of me. I remember feeling
relieved that both riders were
wearing helmets and long pants

WHERE TO
GET EXTRA
BRAINPOWER Caffeine Intermittent Crossword Music making Sleep
Dr Doraiswamy A shot of espresso fasting puzzles Jamming requires Your brain’s like a
weighs in on before an important Think of this as the These can help you focus. Singing may librarian at night,
meeting could opposite of a food concentrate and be even better. archiving the day’s
whether today’s help you absorb coma. Fasting may recall words – which Spoken and sung “books”. Without
most popular key facts. It’s a help release specific makes you better words use different that, Doraiswamy
memory boosters stimulant, which brain chemicals that at these puzzles, pathways; it’s like says, “you can’t
work or not can improve certain protect memory not at remembering having back-up cell make sense of the
types of memory. networks. other things. phone towers. library the next day”.

MOST
POWERFUL

90 menshealth.com.au
 MY MEMORY BOOST

and that it had all happened at
such a slow speed. Everything was
going to be okay.
Except it wasn’t. “You’re trying
to kill me,” the bike’s passenger
wailed, as her friend (who’d
been driving it) pulled her
out from under the bike.
He was moving quickly,
urgently, like he knew
something was wrong. She
stood up and swayed as two
more people appeared and
steadied her, guiding her
toward the side of the road. She
was wearing jeans and a white top.
I got out of my car and saw that
there was a white stump of bone
and bloody flesh where her right
hand should have been. Fuck. In
the distance, we could already
hear sirens.
For days afterward, whenever
I closed my eyes, all I could see
was this poor woman’s bloody
arm. I heard her plaintive cry,
again and again. And most of all,
I remembered that powerless
feeling, that there was nothing
any of us could do to fix her. It
seemed like it wouldn’t ever go
away, even after I burned through
two therapy sessions talking about
it. “That’s textbook PTSD,” my
therapist said. But then, three
months later, I was trying to think
of bad things I’d experienced,
and the motorcycle crash did
not even come to mind. That
was weird. The crash was one of
the worst things that I had ever
witnessed outside of a Quentin
Tarantino movie. Three
months later, I’d all but
forgotten about it. Why?
Memory is tricky
and, as any prosecutor
(or criminal-defence
lawyer) knows, highly
unreliable. It fools us,
but sometimes that’s
to our advantage. For example,
I still mourn my late dog, whom
I put down when I was 16, as a
sweet old girl, when in fact she
was a complete pain in the arse
most of the time. Yet I have only
vague, fuzzy memories of her
twin brother, whom (sorry) I
loved much more. The dog of
my heart, he died unexpectedly
and too young. It’s as if my brain
is trying to protect me from
that traumatic episode, the
way scar tissue makes the site
of a wound tougher than the
surrounding skin.
“Our brains are basically
forgetting machines,” says
Dr Tracy Wang, a cognitive
neuroscientist at the University
of Texas at Austin. Wang recently
published a study that used
brain imaging and machine
learning to discover that when
we want to forget an image, the
best course is neither to try to
ignore it nor to fixate on it; her
study found that images that were
“moderately activated” became
most susceptible to forgetting.
And we can actually expend more
brain energy trying to shake
those memories than we do on
memories that we wish to retain.
“Your brain has to figure out
what’s important and what’s not,”
she says. “If you remembered
everything, you would have
difficulty going through life.
But you need some memories to
inform future behaviour.”
Just not all of them. Forgetting
is critical. “Imagine a football
game in which players have
to ‘forget’ plays in order to
adopt new ones,” says Wang.
“Or dancers learning new
choreography need to forget
outdated old choreography. In
each case, forgetting must be
intentional in order to overlay
new information.”
Memory, in other words,
is both selective and adaptive;
we retain information that
might help or protect us while
discarding most of the rest.
In the weeks after the accident,
I would replay it almost every
night when I tried to sleep or
DR DANIEL AMEN, psy-
chiatrist, brain-disorder
specialist, and competitive
table-tennis player
My favourite activity is
table tennis, the world’s
best brain sport. [He has
been nationally ranked, by
the way.] It’s highly aero-
bic, sparking the growth of
new neurons in the brain’s
main memory centre. It
also boosts blood flow to
the brain and low blood
flow is the number-one
brain-imaging predictor
that a person will develop
Alzheimer’s disease.
whenever I drove on the freeway.
I came to terms with it,
and that’s the key to forgetting
something you don’t want
to remember.
That poor woman’s life will
never be the same, and I feel bad
for her. But I didn’t know her, and
the accident did not affect me
directly. It was just a thing that I
had seen, and while the image is
slowly fading away in my mind,
I will never forget its “adaptive”
lesson: don’t ride a motorcycle on
metropolitan freeways.

Sugar Fish oil Cocoa CBD Ginkgo biloba Ginseng

Glucose is your Omega-3 fatty Memory The trendy This extract might Some claim this
brain’s preferred acids in fish help improvement has weed-derived help prevent herb can boost
fuel, so a dose of build grey matter been measured ingredient could dementia in older your memory
sugar may improve and improve white- with 500mg of have calming folks, but there’s and energy, but
your memory matter integrity. cocoa extract in effects, but it no evidence that studies have not
immediately. But Whether that helps recent studies; its likely won’t help it improves a proved either, and
it gets fed just fine your memory? anti-inflammatory (or hurt) your young person’s it could cause
with healthier fare. Not clear. effect may be why. memory.  memory. health problems.
SORT OF
POWERFUL
LEAST
POWERFUL

January 2020 91
MIND

STRENGTH-TRAIN YOUR...
WHAT WAS I SAYING? 
Scientists don’t fully understand yet how brain-training apps improve your focus and
memory. One thing the apps can do is boost your confidence in your memory, which can
enhance your mental performance in other aspects of your life, too, says brain-health
expert Dr P. Murali Doraiswamy. The most popular picks:

BRAINHQ PEAK LUMOSITY ELEVATE

If you love to learn about the
research behind your habits,
this brain-training app is
for you. BrainHQ shares the
science behind each of its
29 exercises. One drawback:
unlike Lumosity, which gives
comprehensive tutorials at the
start of each game, BrainHQ
sets you loose without a whole
lot of direction. You might
have a rough start to your first
few games before you get the
hang of things.
BrainHQ.com; $14 per month
for full access
If you value healthy
competition, consider
Peak. The app allows you
to compare your scores on
more than 45 brain-training
tests with those of friends
and even other people in your
profession. As you get better
at each game, you’ll move up
in status from Novice all the
way to Graduate. If you get a
little too competitive, Peak also
offers relaxing tasks to help you
stay calm and focused.
Peak.net; $35 per year for the
unlimited-game Pro version
The OG of brain training
serves up five daily game
workouts for your mind. If
that’s not enough, you can
choose among the 60-plus
other games, more than any
of these popular apps. This
combined with performance
data that helps contextualise
how you’re doing is what
makes Lumosity shine.
Caveat: some games can
seem tedious.
Lumosity.com; some games are free,
$15 per month for access to all games
and tools
Marketed to execs as a way to
improve communication and
analytical skills, Elevate claims
to have memory benefits
as well. The app’s 35-plus
games are designed to boost
your abilities in five areas:
speaking, reading, writing,
listening, and math. You get
to customise what you’d like
to improve (e.g., focus while
reading or retaining more of
what you read).
ElevateApp.com; $45 per year
after a free two-week trial

92 menshealth.com.au
 MY MEMORY BOOST

7
THIS MAY BE WHY YOUR MEMORY SUCKS 7
It might be worse than your parents’ at your age because you’re . . . 7 7
77 7

BINGE DRINKING. SCR AMBLING ALL THE SKIPPING THE GYM.

Blackouts not only block
your memory of that
night; they can affect
your mind forever. When
Yale researchers scanned
people’s brains, they saw
that the heaviest drinkers
had reduced activity in areas
related to spatial working
memory, the kind that helps
you find a shop you’ve been
to before.
TIME . You rush from work
to pick up your kid from
basketball and continue at
a frenetic pace until your
head hits the pillow. “If
you’re always rushing and
not giving anything deep,
deliberate thought
or making deep
connections, then you
don’t form good memories,”
says Doraiswamy.
Cardio workouts are helpful,
but so is strength training,
says Dr Steven Masley,
author of The Better Brain
Solution. His research on
older people showed that
boosting the number of
push-ups they could do by
at least 10 percent raised
scores on cognitive-function
tests by 18 per cent.
SHAAN PATEL, founder of
the test-tutoring program
Prep Expert, who earned a
perfect score on his SATs
My seventh-grade science
teacher told us that if
you see something seven
times, you remember it. I
don’t know if this research
is true, but I made it the
basis for my memorisation
strategy in high school – I
repeat to myself what I
need to remember seven
times – and it has worked
ever since.

O
TEST YOUR M E M R Y
Since how well you remember is related to how well you
pay attention, take this unscientific but revealing test.
See how much you noticed about the spot illustrations we
sneaked onto the past six pages. No flipping back (yet)!

1
The creature that appears in the
illustration of a grey head in the lead story
about how your memory works is a/an:
A Hummingbird
4 The battery level in the grey head on page 92 is:
A

B
Panic-inducingly low
Almost fully charged

B Elephant

5
C Squirrel How many boosters on pages 90 and 91 can
D There are grey heads in that story? really increase your memory power ?

2
The cards in the box on page 88 form: A Uh...none that I’m currently doing
B One
A Three of a kind
C Three
B A royal flush
D Five
C A pair
D No winning combination

3
Look at the phone number in the grey
head on page 89 for 30 seconds, then flip ANSWERS: 1) A; 2) B; 3) B; 4) A; 5) D
back here. The phone number is:
A 643-975-8309 How did you do?
B 643-975-8039
GOT ALL FIVE RIGHT? THREE OR FEWER?
C 643-935-8039
Your memory is awesome. Pay more attention.
D I outsource all my phone-number remembering to Siri.

January 2020 93
 ROCK OF AGES: WEIR’S
PHYSIQUE HAS STOOD
THE TEST OF TIME.

94 menshealth.com.au
 MUSCLE

B W E I R h a s quietly been an icon of wellness for his e

BO ntire
te fu lD e a d to h i s c u rre n t g i g, playi c ar
d t h e G ra ng th ee
founde ree- r, f
S M C C A M M O N w o rks out w h ou ro
fe re nt b a n d s . R O S ith a rs m
le ge ho w
nd w
–o sw

he
fm

nh
us

ith
ic

e
an

tw
od
d
fit

if-
ne
ss
PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRISTAAN FELBER

There’s a lot going on here.

Bob Weir, 71-year-old founding member of the
Grateful Dead, is running around Jiffy Lube Live
amphitheatre in Bristow, Virginia, on a 35° day in
June. “We’ll start off by going for a trot,” he said a few
minutes ago, after stepping out of his tour bus wearing
a sleeveless tee, capri-length sweats and toe running
shoes. He looks like a Civil War general who’s really
into CrossFit. Five minutes into this run, he’s already
covered a lot of ground: how to incorporate his Apple
Watch into his workouts, how the shoes changed his life,
how he meditates on tour. But right now he wants to tell a
little story about his ol’ pal Rolling Thunder.
“I got hit with a chop block when I was a defensive
end in high school. My ankles were weak for years,” says
Weir, in full canter now, starting to sweat a little. “So
when I became an exercise junkie in my 20s, I used
to turn my ankles a bunch. Anyway, I had a friend, a
Shoshone healer. Rolling Thunder. I used to see him
work on people with an owl’s wing and cedar smoke.
I said, ‘Chief, would you consider doctoring my
ankles?’ He stood me up and said, ‘When you’re
running, have you ever thought about looking down
at where you put your feet?’ ”
Here he pauses for effect.
“And I haven’t turned my ankle since.”

January 2020 95
 Everything Weir talks about during
this and the other conversations we’d
have over the next few weeks would
involve the powerful themes found in
that mildly amusing vignette.
Bob Weir may be the former rhythm
guitarist and co–lead singer of the
Grateful Dead, which he founded at 16
years old (16!) with Jerry Garcia in San
Francisco. He may have sung “Truckin’”,
“Playing in the Band” and “Sugar
Magnolia”. He may currently be playing
three-hour shows with his band Bob
Weir and Wolf Bros and packing venues
like Madison Square Garden alongside
John Mayer and former Dead drummers
Mickey Hart and Bill Kreutzmann in
Dead & Company, but the essential thing
about Bob Weir – the thing even some
Deadheads might not fully grasp – is
that he thinks of himself as a jock as
much as a musician. Maybe more.
Bob (“Bob’s fine. Bobby. Your
choice.”) likes to say you need to do
three things to be happy. You need
to “dedicate your life to the pursuit
of a sense of purpose”. You need to
meditate, which he did on his bus
right before this interview. And you
need to work out, which he’s doing
right now, although we’ve paused for a
moment while he positions himself at
the bottom of the vast, steep grass hill
that makes up the back of this open-air
concert venue.
“This is not the fun part,” he says
about the intervals he’s about to do. Tabata
96 menshealth.com.au
style. Twenty-second sprint, 20-second walk. It’s back, he began his trotting habit, going for
easily a 45° incline – a daunting angle for anyone, a run in whatever neighbourhood his tour
much less a septuagenarian. Bob stands there bus happened to be parked in: the middle of
in what seems like ‘Should I actually do this?’ Detroit, beside the Great Pyramid, wherever.
contemplation. Turns out he’s just waiting for And there’s always been football
his Apple Watch to beep. When it does, off he – the subject that comes up most in our
goes. The watch beeps again and he turns to conversations. His love of the sport began when
walk down the hill. Then another beep and he he played linebacker in high school. From the
sprints back up. He goes up and down, up and mid-’80s until five years ago, he was on the
down until he reaches the top, where he takes roster of the Tamalpais Chiefs flag-
a breather. A few seconds later, he’s gone over football team in his longtime hometown in the
the hill and into the amphitheatre. When I Bay Area. He talks about that team with the
catch up, he’s heading back to his bus. “That reverence with which he talks about music. “It’s
was the warm-up,” he says. the most complicated sport there is. You’ve got
people with virtually every kind of body type
who specialise in doing what that body type
Over 56 years of performing, he’s never can do. All that comes together and if the team
looked anything other than fit and he’s never moves as one, it’s really pretty awesome.”
sounded anything other than amped. There’s Sort of like a band.
no difference between his vocal commitment to “I can still throw a ball that you can hear
“Cassidy” or “Mama Tried” or “The Other One” in comin’,” he says. That ability is supported
the late ’60s and early ’70s and the versions he sings by what he’s doing now, as bemused food-
in 2019. He’s always brought it. Always. Maybe that’s service vendors walk by: throwing a 10kg
because his togetherness, his essential responsibility, is medicine ball to a member of his staff.
what allowed Jerry to be Jerry, even as Garcia deteriorated First with two hands, then with one.
before everyone’s eyes in the years before he died in 1995. A few minutes later, he pulls on
Bob was aware of the counterbalance, though not acutely. some knee pads and picks up the
“I admired Jerry because he didn’t give a shit about any of TRX bands, which have been
that and I think he admired me because I did. I admired his secured to the forklift that Bob
ability to just say, ‘Fuck it. I’m going to suck down a couple of ordered up before our run. He does
cheeseburgers and a pizza and a couple of White Russians and skaters and lunges.
I’m going to be fine about that’. Working out was just too much Bob walks over to the wheeled
effort and too much pain.” metal cart full of workout
Bob stayed fit with what today might be called equipment that accompanies him
“intentional” consumption. “I’ve tried to be aware of how on every tour and grabs a 10kg mace
stuff affects me, what food or drugs make me burn brighter and does halos over his head to
and which ones tend to dull me, so that I can be better at loosen his shoulder and upper-back
what I’m trying to do.” And he’s always worked out on tour. muscles. He orbits the mace around
In the mid-’70s, after seeing a chiropractor about his his head and then moves to a kneel
THE LONG GAME: FROM LEFT:
BOB WEIR ONSTAGE WITH THE
GRATEFUL DEAD IN
ROTTERDAM IN 1972; PLAYING
BERKELEY’S GREEK THEATRE IN
1985; AND DEAD & COMPANY’S
TOUR STOP IN BRISTOW,
VIRGINIA, THIS PAST JUNE.
 MUSCLE

and then back up again to do the other side. PLAYING WITH THE
Over and over. His workouts focus on BANDS: WEIR TRAVELS
WITH THE TRX
rotation and mobility. A lot of shoulder
SUSPENSION-BAND
work. A lot of stuff that targets his TRAINING SYSTEM, WHICH
posterior chain – his back and ALLOWS HIM TO DO PULL-UPS,
glutes. And a lot of twisting, which PEC FLIES AND OTHER
strengthens his core. BODYWEIGHT EXERCISES.
You don’t just pick up a heavy
mace and start doing that. Someone
has to teach you. And you have to
work up to it.
He got hooked on CrossFit a few
years back. “A couple of my friends and
I were frequenting the San Francisco
facility and managed to snake one of the
instructors to train us out at my place, where “Dedicate your life to the
I set up a little outdoor gym. I’m always on
the lookout for functional stuff that’s fun to pursuit of a sense of purpose”
do.” One of his go-to drills is beating a huge
tyre with a gada mace. “The practice goes back
thousands of years. The old original martial art better I play, the more I get into the swing like that.” And more mace techniques. And
was learning how to swing a big heavy thing and of things.” yoga trapeze.
keep your balance and keep yourself collected. You A lot like a quarterback. When you see Bob onstage with Dead
can feel when you’re slipping from the proper form; “I might have been, come to think & Company, you’re witnessing a striver, a
there’s a timelessness about it.” of it. Organisational stuff is one of my runner, a gym rat, a jock. You’re witnessing
Despite his lifelong commitment to working out, strong suits, and a quarterback is an a man who was probably all over the stadium
despite his Instagram account being full of exercise organisational kind of guy. Jerry was earlier and may have worked out on the
videos, he says he’s never been an evangelist. He never something of an elusive yet powerful ground your blanket’s on.
tried to get the other guys in the band into working out, running back. He could do it all. But I You’re witnessing a guy who, playing
he says. “I never pushed it, because I don’t think it’s my was cueing the up and down because middle linebacker in 1962 at 15 years old,
right. It’s a lot like pushing religion. I don’t think any Jerry was fucking busy.” ran through a hole in the line and got to the
human has a right to do that.” Bob wants to point out, though, quarterback right as he was handing off the
But he’s starting to see the power of the mission that it’s not exactly him doing the ball, who felt the weight of 21 guys fall on
now. “This is something guys my age can do, and quarterbacking. “When I walk onstage, top of him, who was knocked out for a few
it will make an immense difference in what they I leave the building. The guy people take seconds but somehow woke up and felt the
call your golden years if grace and happiness are photographs of is not there. I’ve pretty ball underneath him.
goals of yours.” Other than a little arthritis, he much taken leave of the regular world. It’s “The moment comes back every now
feels good these days. “I remember looking in another place entirely. Things are different and again,” Bob says. “It’s that thrill of
the mirror in my 20s and thinking, Holy shit. there. I’m a combination of the characters that grace that travels up your spine whenever
I’m ripped! That was probably the peak of it. come and visit us in the songs and the storyteller you’re doing things right.” You could
I’m getting to a place now where I’m rivalling who brings these characters around. I’ve given up be playing football. You could be
that. I’m pretty happy with what I’ve got even attempting to see which song is going to sit up quarterbacking onstage. You could be
going now.” and beg on a given night.” doing intervals up the arse end of an
At home, he has a workout group with amphitheatre. You could be getting
his old football crew. They organise their your ankles doctored by a Shoshone
routine for the day on a whiteboard, like “At my age, if you let it go, it ain’t coming back” was healer. You could be doing the
a set list. He says his general goal is just one of the first things Bob said to me in Virginia. “I have stepper at a hotel gym. But fitness
to have “some gas left in the tank after a lot of stuff I want to get to. And I gotta fuckin’ live to do leads to magic.
the show”. Although he’s not climbing it.” So if he’s gonna live – really live – he has to double That day in ’62, Bob trotted
PA stacks like he used to, he’s still down on his workouts, adopt new practices, meet new off the field after the play to
performing three-hour concerts of 20 people. And do this story. “One of my goals for this recover, to soak in the glory. As he
or so songs. (His current catalogue is interview is to open some communication with your got to the sideline, his coach looked
about 200.) outfit,” he said in his dressing room after the show. Turns at him and said, “Weir! Get the fuck
It’s a physical effort. “If I want a out he wasn’t making small talk. Bob sent me a text one back out there! You’re on offence!”
dynamic drop, I’m going to signal that. Monday afternoon a few weeks after the interview, a list And that’s where he’s stayed: on
I’ll just dip a shoulder. They know that of stuff he wants to try: Bob wants to get into underwater offence. He’s still playing. He never
the drop is coming, but nobody knows workouts. “I saw a video clip of a guy working out came out of the game.
exactly when and I never know exactly underwater; he took a kettlebell from the bottom of
when until right before it happens. a squat position and powered into a backflip and Ross McCammon is the author of
I find that the more that I move, the came back around to the squat. I wanna do stuff Works Well with Others.

January 2020 97
HELP, I’VE GOT…

MAN B
How YouTube,
Reddit and
a plastic surgeon
in Texas are
transforming the
lives of untold
numbers of men
with breasts
BY TOM FOSTER

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRENT HUMPHREYS

98 menshealth.com.au
 HEALTH

BS!
WHENEVER Alan Ash would take
off his shirt in his own home, he’d
first make sure the blinds were
closed. If they weren’t completely
shut – if even a sliver of light could
creep into the house – he’d tug
them down the rest of the way.
Alan, who’s 38 years old, lives in
the country, about 45 minutes
outside Louisville, Kentucky.
It wasn’t as if there were many
neighbours around who could
catch a glimpse through the
windows, but Alan needed to be
sure. Meanwhile, his fiancée,
Rebecca, had no problem
walking around the house nude.
“If someone sees me, so be it,”
she’d say.
Alan went to great lengths not
to be seen shirtless. He’d been
in other serious relationships
before he started dating Rebecca
at age 31, but he never really
felt comfortable with those
women seeing him without his
shirt, even in the most intimate
moments. Rebecca was the first
to see him in full, he told me.
When Alan was a schoolkid,
other boys would sometimes
tease him about his appearance
when he took off his shirt – “but
I didn’t let that go on too long,”
he says. He was a big kid, 188cm,

January 2020 99
97.5kg. Classmates learned not to
mess with him. He also resorted
to making fun of himself to
neutralise any incoming jabs.
And he figured out how to hide
his condition or at least fool
himself into thinking he was
hiding it. He wore two or three
XXL shirts at a time, even at
the height of summer, so they’d
drape over his form like heavy
curtains. He walked with his
shoulders hunched forward. At
restaurants, he’d always sit in
the back so fewer people would
walk by and possibly look at
him and snicker. Alan had
gynecomastia. Man boobs.
Gyno, as it is called among
people who talk openly about it,
is a real physiological condition
– a proliferation of breast tissue,
not just an awkward distribution
of fat – caused by an excess of
estrogen relative to testosterone.
Millions of men have gyno – at
least 30 per cent of males will be
affected in their lifetime – but
it’s impossible to get much more
specific than that, because most
people who have it don’t discuss
it, let alone do anything about
it. For some men, gyno can be
painful, making the breasts
tender to the touch. For most men
suffering from it, the real damage
is emotional.
Alan managed to talk to a few
friends about it over the years,
and they always recommended
chest exercises. Do more flies.
Bench more. Drop and do push-
ups whenever possible. He took
their advice and started working
out obsessively in his 20s. “But
it actually made it worse,” he
says now. “The boobs were more
pronounced.” So he went the
other way and gained weight on
purpose to try to even things out
in his midsection. He ballooned
up to 118kg.
It was no way to live. Alan
knew male breasts could be
removed through surgery
–his sister, who’s a nurse, had
given him a brochure – but he’d
seen some scary pictures online
of botched results and he couldn’t
afford the out-of-pocket expense
anyway ($US 4000). After getting
100 menshealth.com.au
a new job as a maintenance
technician at a pharmaceutical
warehouse, however, he was able
to save a little more money. He
began doing some additional
research online, and that’s when
Google led him to the website
of Dr Robert Caridi, a plastic
surgeon in Texas who performs
gynecomastia removal surgery.
The site touted Caridi’s thousands
of gyno patients from all over the
world. There were videos from
inside the operating room, before
and after photos, images of raw
breast tissue just pulled from
men’s chests. Alan couldn’t look
away. There was a button that said
FREE ONLINE CONSULTATION.
Ten minutes after discovering
Caridi’s Austin Gynecomastia
Center, Alan had Rebecca take
pictures of his chest in the
bathroom. It was about 10:30 on
a Sunday morning when he sent
in his photos and some details.
“I have been living with this
for around 27 years,” he wrote
in an email that reads like a
primal scream. “Only a couple of
people in my entire life have ever
seen me with my shirt off. I’m
convinced this is the main reason
for my insecurities and social
anxiety, ruined relationships,
jobs, etc . . . Basically controlled
my life as long as I can remember
. . . Just pure misery with these
breasts, and I’m sick of it.”
Thirty minutes later, Caridi
got back to him. Three weeks
later, Alan was in Austin for
surgery and a day after that, he
tells me his story. We’re in an
exam room in Caridi’s office suite
in the posh suburb of Westlake.
Rebecca sits across the room,
smiling sweetly. As we talk,
Alan stands a few feet away from
me – a complete stranger – with
his shirt off. His chest is bruised
purple from the procedure,
but where he once had a pair
of C-cups, he now has typical
pecs. He doesn’t even seem to
notice that he’s shirtless, and he
absentmindedly pats his chest
during our conversation. For the
first time in nearly three decades,
Alan Ash feels comfortable in his
own skin.
The words come like bullets.
“Look at this one. Rohan. He’s
from Bangladesh. Here’s one in
Sweden. Or look at this one. This
guy, he says, ‘I’m going to be in
Austin soon – I need you to check
me out because I’m freaking out.’
He’s 71.”
It’s a little after 8am and
Caridi (or Doctor C, as he’s
known to patients and employees,
including not one but two nurses
named Lacy) is wearing scrubs
and scrolling through online
consult requests that came in
overnight. Email after email tells
variations of Alan Ash’s story.
Humiliation. Years or decades
of quiet suffering. Elaborate
cover-up rituals.
Sixty years old, trim and
intense, with a rapid-fire
Brooklyn-tinged accent that
he has never fully shed since
leaving New York at age 20,
Doctor C is arguably one of
the world’s most in-demand
gynecomastia surgeons, and
one of the few doctors anywhere
who’s considered a gyno expert.
He’s done nearly 3000 of these
surgeries in the past couple of
decades and today averages 250
to 300 per year, about 70 per cent
of which, he says, are patients
who travelled from other states
or countries to see him. On the
day I spend in his office, he does
three gyno removals and sees
two post-op patients he treated
the day before. “Most plastic
surgeons do maybe a dozen in a
year,” he says. “Or less. If they do
it at all.”
It’s not that gynecomastia
surgery is all that complicated.
We’re not talking brain surgery
here. It starts with liposuction,
to address the gynecomastia
tissue, along with the fat around
the breast. Then residual
 HEALTH

tissue is removed through a
small incision at the bottom
of the nipple and it ends with
some careful sewing to ensure
minimal scarring. In the most
complex cases, such as when a
patient is particularly large or
has lost a lot of weight, the last
step might also involve removing
the excess skin. In these cases,
Doctor C removes the chest skin
and repositions the nipple. As
plastic surgery goes, it’s pretty
basic. Most operations are done
in less than an hour.
Doctor C doesn’t pretend he’s
a surgical genius – more like
a sculptor who’s mastered the
male form. “I think that most
surgeons are adeptly qualified to
do it,” he says. “But I will tell you
this: there’s nothing that beats
experience. You do 100, okay,
you start to get the idea. Do 300,
you’re really kind of figuring
it out. Do 1000? Okay, now
we’re talking.”
His experience with
performing the actual procedure
is part of what sends all those
patients through his doors,
for sure, but it’s not the main
reason. More important, after
seeing so many men like Alan,
after hearing so many of their
stories, Doctor C began to grasp
how crushing it was to them
mentally. “The more I’ve delved
into it, the more I’ve realised
they all have just been jacked by
this. They don’t have sex. They
don’t take their kids to the pool.
It affects their relationships.
This isn’t a small bother; it’s
a big deal.” And he started to
realise how he could broadcast
that understanding so that men
would find him and know that he
was the doc who got it.
Doctor C’s awakening
happened about 10 years ago. His
practice back then was, like that
of most plastic surgeons, focused
80 or 90 per cent on women:
face-lifts, breast augmentations
and revisions, nose jobs. At the
time, those kinds of procedures
were common in pop culture.
Throughout the ’00s , a parade of
reality-TV series such as Extreme
Makeover helped bring cosmetic
surgery out into the open, and
79 per cent of the cosmetic-
surgery patients surveyed had
been influenced by these shows,
according to a 2007 study in the
academic journal Plastic and
Reconstructive Surgery. Seeing
the surgeries and watching
patients’ journeys made people
more comfortable with the idea of
“FOR MOST MEN
going under the knife themselves.
A few Internet-savvy doctors
took note, posting videos of
their surgeries on YouTube. Why
bother with a TV deal when they
could potentially reap the same
benefits more easily online,
reaching prospective customers
directly and controlling their
own messages and images? Some,
like a South Floridian named
Dr Michael Salzhauer (aka Dr.
Miami), became celebrities
because of their social-media
videos. Doctor C, who has never
been shy in front of cameras (he
got married on Good Morning
America in 1990), decided to try
his hand at it too – with a twist.
Rather than concentrate on
female boob jobs, as others were
doing, he put out a gynecomastia
video in 2010. “You have to
understand, at the time,
gynecomastia – no one even knew
how to pronounce the word. It
was not talked about.” The term
actually dates back to the second
century A.D. – it means female
(gynec) breast (mastos) – and
the first surgical treatments
came a few hundred years later.
SUFFERING FROM IT,
THE REAL DAMAGE
IS EMOTIONAL”
It wasn’t until the 1970s that
liposuction entered the picture,
and the procedure has become less
invasive since then. A doctor in
White Plains, New York, named
Mordcai Blau, is considered the
modern trailblazer in the field for
men. But despite Blau’s decades
of success, the condition was still
largely under the radar. “I could
see this shit was prime time for
someone to blow it out,” Doctor C
continues. “So we videoed one.
My wife was like, ‘No, don’t
put it out, because it’s just so
disgusting’. ” He did it anyway.
“And the floodgates opened.
Totally opened.”
In the years since, Doctor
C has posted nearly 100
gynecomastia videos on YouTube,
which have racked up millions of
views. He started experimenting
with Snapchat, Periscope and
other forms of social media a few
years ago, yet it was the online
consultation form, which he

BOOB JOB: CARIDI PREPS A PATIENT AT HIS

OFFICE IN AUSTIN. HE DOCUMENTS THE
SURGERY FOR MEDICAL REASONS (TO
DETAIL THE PROCEDURE AND OUTCOME)
AND FOR PROMOTIONAL PURPOSES.

January 2020 101

added to his website in 2016,
that brought in customers from
all corners of the globe. They
were finding him on YouTube
or Reddit, but before the online
consultation, prospective
patients still had to clear the
mental hurdle of reaching out.
A phone call or Skype session
might be embarrassing. A trip
to Austin for a simple exam
would be expensive. Taking off
their shirt would be mortifying.
But snapping a few selfies and
shooting an email? It was like
discovering a lifeline.
Now Doctor C says
gynecomastia accounts for about
70 per cent of his practice. It’s
one of the top plastic-surgery
procedures for men, according
to the American Society of
Plastic Surgeons. Between 2013
and 2018, the number of such
surgeries grew by 30 per cent
– and Doctor C is the tip of the
spear, or scalpel, as it were.
“Feel it, go ahead. Feel it.
Yeah, right there, go, do it.
That’s the gland. That’s it. That’s
gyno. That’s the mass.” It’s a
tad awkward. We’re in an exam
room and Doctor C is directing
me to squeeze the nipple of a
patient I’ve just met: Max, a
22-year-old Texas A&M Corps
of Cadets senior with sleeve
tattoos and an impressively built
upper body that looks pretty
much ideal – except for the puffy
nipples, stretched-out areolas,
and small, cone-shaped breasts,
as if somebody had stuffed little
birthday-party hats in there. The
doc then produces a marker and
starts drawing circles around the
breasts to define the area that
he’ll reduce, all the while talking
in a machine-gun rap. One of
the things patients like about
Doctor C is his directness, his
refusal to coddle their self-
consciousness. It’s not that he
ignores their sensitivity but that
he acknowledges it by charging
right at it – to “cut through the
crap”, as he describes it. “Bam.
Brooklyn. Let’s go. ‘Take your
shirt off.’ Grab their boobs. They
don’t have a choice. Walls come
crashing down. Let’s just take
102 menshealth.com.au
LIFE-CHANGING WORK
These photographs taken before
surgery and after reveal changes in the
size and profile of the men’s chests
PATIENT 1 DEVELOPED GYNECOMASTIA IN PUBERT Y AND
LIVED WITH IT FOR MORE THAN T WO DECADES.
BEFORE
AFTER
PATIENT 2 DEVELOPED GYNECOMASTIA FROM STEROID USE .
BEFORE
AFTER
care of business.”
“Open up your shoulders,
Max,” he barks, pressing one
hand into the young man’s back
and pulling his shoulders with the
other. He gives Max’s shoulders a
pat and looks over at me. “He’s got
good muscles. The reason I asked
you to feel it, his gyno’s mostly
puffy stuff.” Puffy nipples are
a common, telltale sign of gyno
among bodybuilders. He looks
back at Max. “Did you take some
kind of prohormones?”
“I took SARMs,” Max admits.
Selective androgen receptor
modulators, that is, a category
of steroid alternative that has
become popular among athletes
in recent years; they work like
anabolic steroids but target
androgen receptors specifically
in skeletal muscles, in theory
sparing other tissues from typical
steroid side effects. Max hopes to
be an Army infantry officer one
day and fitness is a big part of his
preparation for that life,
he explains.
About two years ago, in his
second year at uni, he was in the
best shape of his life – “88kg with
a really low body-fat percentage”
–and SARMs helped him get
there. That’s when he first
noticed the puffy nipples and
so-called “post-cycle therapy” to
counteract the SARM regimen
didn’t make them go away. His
third year at uni, he landed in the
hospital with a bad case of both
mononucleosis and pneumonia.
He lost 10kg in a week and the
doctors prescribed him some
steroids. About four weeks after
that, he had full gynecomastia.
Doctor C has heard all this
before. There are three groups
of people who make up the vast
majority of gynecomastia
cases he sees, he’d explained to
me earlier in the day. First are
those like Alan Ash, for whom the
problem began in puberty and
never went away. Many
boys develop small masses
behind their nipples in their
teens, when a surge in hormones
creates an imbalance between
the levels of testosterone and
estrogen. In most cases, things
rebalance naturally in a matter
of months, but for some men that
never happens.
Second are guys who have
used anabolic steroids or steroid
alternatives such as prohormones
and SARMs. Then there’s a
third category of gyno patients:
men past their mid-40s, when
testosterone levels can dip and
result in a hormonal imbalance.
This can cause the pecs to soften
and flesh to sag, with as many as
one in four men experiencing this
problem as they age.
Of the patients I met in the
doctor’s office, three had used
performance-enhancing drugs,
and three had suffered since
puberty. One patient, 37-year-
old David, played football at a
midwestern Division II college.
He wanted to level up to a D1
school, so he started using
steroids the summer after his
freshman year. Boom, gyno,
within weeks. He’s now married
and has a three-year-old son he
couldn’t wait to take to the water
park this summer for the first
time after having avoided all
swimsuit-related activities for

most of his adult life. Matthew,
30, is a former patient and
competitive men’s physique
bodybuilder who stopped in
for a visit today. He once took
a 12-week round of steroids.
Boom, puffy nipples. Soft-spoken
39-year-old Jose, a veteran of the
wars in Iraq and Afghanistan,
has had gyno since puberty. So
has 22-year-old Tawsif, a
software engineer who found
Doctor C on Reddit.
Not that everyone with
pronounced masses in their
breast area actually has
gynecomastia. It’s rare but
possible for men to get breast
cancer, so if you develop a breast
lump or thickening or notice
any type of change in the skin
or nipple, have it checked out.
And then there are men who
accumulate fat in the chest
region – there’s even a medical
term for their condition, pseudo-
gynecomastia. This fat could be
targeted through exercises
such as push-ups, rows and
pull-ups. In theory, anyway.
“The whole concept of
pseudogynecomastia should be
banned,” says Doctor C. “The
implication is [the breasts] will
go away if you lose weight, but
that doesn’t happen.”
On the surface, that might
seem self-serving coming
from a surgeon who has every
incentive to book more surgeries.
But as an article in the peer-
reviewed journal Mayo Clinic
Proceedings put it: “The decision
to treat . . . should be based on the
degree to which this condition
has affected the quality of life
and mental health of patients
and on their desire for cosmetic
correction.” In other words, if a
guy has boobs and the boobs are
bothering him, he should get rid
of the boobs.
Back in the exam room,
Doctor C leaves me alone with
Max, who talks with me some
more. Despite his physique and
tatts, he hasn’t quite grown
out of a boyish sweetness. He
explains that he has some friends
who use anabolic steroids and
have developed gyno; they self-
medicate by trying to adjust their
estrogen levels with drugs such as
tamoxifen and letrozole (which
reduce estrogen production or
block its effects and which the
FDA has not approved for the
treatment of gynecomastia;
illegal steroid suppliers usually
sell these otherwise prescription-
only drugs). Max “almost went
down that route,” he says, but
decided to do his own research
first. On Internet bodybuilding
forums, “people swear by [the
self-administered drugs]”. But as
he dug deeper, he wasn’t so sure.
“I think you’re throwing the dice
there,” he says. “You can block the
estrogen so much that it’ll shut
off and something catastrophic
can happen.” His Google searches
directed him to Doctor C’s online
consultation, then to the YouTube
videos and finally to his office.
“I’m glad I’m here,” he says. “To
get rid of it.”
At this point, one of the nurses
named Lacy comes back in to
cut us off. The anesthesiologist
is waiting for Max. So is Doctor
C’s dedicated videographer,
Jonathan Holt. Like every other
surgery patient here today, Max
has agreed to have his procedure
filmed. Maybe the footage will
help some other guy with a
similar story come out of the
shadows. And now it’s showtime.
“You can really feel the bass
in here!” Jonathan says. The
Ariana Grande song “Break
Up with Your Girlfriend, I’m
Bored” blares through the
“TWO OF THE FLESHY CRAB CAKES
SIT IN A SMALL PLASTIC TUB AND
DOCTOR C SAYS HE ALWAYS
OFFERS PATIENTS A CHANCE TO
SEE THESE WHEN THEY WAKE UP”
operating room’s speakers as
the videographer enters with his
shoulder-mounted camera rig,
followed by Doctor C, a nurse
named Sarah, the Lacys and me.
Max has already been put all the
way under and his face is hidden
beneath a blue sheet. After
making a small incision on the
outside of one side of the breast,
a cut no wider than a grain of
rice, Doctor C inserts a roughly
30cm-long wand into the hole and
starts waving it around inside
the chest, his arm twisting and
jerking this way and that as if
he were working a giant socket
wrench. The machine makes a
persistent squeaking sound as
he does this, and as Doctor C
probes every inch of the breast,
the far end of the wand pushes
up the skin from the inside,
somewhat disturbingly like
the extraterrestrial bursting
from John Hurt’s midsection
in Alien. This is the first step of
liposuction, which melts the
fat in the breast using
ultrasound energy.
Then the doc switches to a
suction tube that vacuums out
the melted fat, a viscous, pinkish
fluid that sputters through a
transparent tube into a collection
vessel. Once he’s removed the
fat – and narrated every step,
and paused for a conversation
with the anesthesiologist about
the newest Corvette model – he
makes a slit just below the areola
and manually begins to pull out a
mass of harder tissue, the actual
breast gland, with a forcefulness
that’s a little violent. It’s lumpy,
HEALTH
pink and white, and about the
size of a small crab cake. He
flaps it around once it’s fully
dangling out of the hole, asks me
to come in close and have a look,
makes way for the camera to get
a good money shot and then pulls
the connecting tissue taut and
scissors the gland out of the body.
After about 45 minutes, the
surgery is over. Two of the fleshy
crab cakes sit in a small plastic
tub and Doctor C says he always
offers patients a chance to see
these when they wake up, to
stare down a vanquished demon.
“They always want to see it,” one
of the Lacys says. “It’s the first
question: ‘Did you get out a lot?’
They need to know it’s gone. And
they’re like, ‘Show my wife, show
my sister, show my mom. This
was in there, and it wouldn’t just
go away with weight loss’. ”
Doctor C cuts in. “You can
touch them,” he says to me. “Go
ahead, feel it.” I slide on a sterile
glove and give one of the masses a
quick poke. Yep, it’s firm.
“And you see the nipples now?
Totally different.” They’re no
longer puffy.
Half an hour later, having
changed from scrubs into a sharp
checked blazer and pink shirt,
Doctor C is ready to take the team
out for happy hour. But first he
says a quick hello to his ex-patient
Matthew, who’s been hanging
out with the nurses. “Hey, Matt,
you feel good?” asks Doctor C.
Matthew whips off his shirt
proudly. “Let me see that,” the
doctor says. “Look at you, wow.
Beautiful, baby!”
January 2020 103
 FORHEALTHY APPETITES
For many, attempting to eat clean can mean swinging from monastic
restraint to hedonism. Jump off the dietary see-saw and savour the
best of both: these salads are as gluttonously satisfying as they are
replete with nutritious gold. Time to turn over a new leaf
BY SCARLETT WRENCH PHOTOGRAPHY BY LOUISA PARRY FOOD STYLING BY IONA BLACKSHAW

If a bleeding animal burger represents the acme of “man
food”, salads tend to signify the opposite. But at Men’s Health,
we’re simply not having it: the idea that your menu order is
in some way indicative of your character is a tired one. And
yet . . . salads do still get a bad rap. They’re side dishes,
compromises, your penance for overindulgence – and
likely to elicit eye-rolls from any colleague already a few
mouthfuls deep into a chicken burrito with extra cheese.
We’re here to tell you that this is nonsense. With a little
forethought and flair, you can throw together a summer salad
that’s toothsome, filling and on-point for your macro targets,
too. We asked five leading chefs for mouth-watering recipes
that will change your mind about salads, each bursting with
flavour and freshness. Trust us, you won’t go hungry.

104 menshealth.com.au

SERVES 4 .
CAJUN CAULI,
A cauliflower, sliced
Spanish onion, ½, sliced
Cajun spice, to taste
EGG AND TOAST Quinoa, 250g
An ear of corn
Transform your post- Limes, 2, juice and zest
work plate of vegetables Coriander, large pinch, chopped
into a decadent meal Beetroot hummus, 300g
worth savouring. This Cooked beetroots, 8
Snow peas, 200g
colourful feast from the
Garden peas, 200g
team at rustic eatery
Free-range eggs, 4, poached
Brother Marcus sorts out Rustic sourdough,
your five a day in one hit 4 slices, toasted
METHOD .
Bland ingredients make
for drab salads. “We base
our recipes on seasonal,
local produce,” says chef
Tasos Gaitanos. “It’s a
natural way to add more
flavour.” First, prep the
cauliflower: it’s packed
full of glucosinolates,
which will bolster your
liver’s defences after
you’ve made a few too
many pub-garden
stop-offs. Pop it on a tray
with the onion, then
NUTRITION
SPOON ON EXTRA
PEAS: THEIR VITAMIN
K BOOSTS FAT LOSS.
sprinkle liberally with use the hummus as the
Cajun spice. Drizzle with base, then add the cauli,
oil and bake it at 180°C followed by the quinoa
for 18 minutes.
While the cauli cooks,
mix and veg. Had a
stressful week? The
prep the quinoa mix. Boil double beetroot hit will
your corn, char it on a help lower your blood
hot griddle pan, then pressure. Top each plate
scrape off the kernels. with a runny poached
Cook the quinoa as per egg and serve with a
pack instructions, then slice of sourdough.
combine with the corn,
“Liven it up with wild
lime juice and coriander garlic,” says Gaitanos.
in a bowl. “It complements this
Plate up as follows: dish perfectly.”
January 2020 105

BBQ PORK BELLY
WITH CRISPY TOFU
Your backyard BBQ needn’t
start and finish with burgers
and buns. This fresh spin,
from Patrick Williams at
Caribbean restaurant Soul
Food, offers a more nutritious
take on al fresco eating
106 menshealth.com.au
SERVES 4 .
Pork belly, 500g
Smoked paprika, 2tsp
Ground allspice, 2tsp
A chocho, thinly sliced
Avocados, 2, diced
Carrots, 2, sliced
Cucumber, ½, sliced
Watercress, bunch
Flour, 2tbsp
Extra firm tofu, 300g, diced
FOR THE DRESSING
Dijon mustard, 1tsp
Flaxseed oil, 75ml
A lime, juiced
METHOD .
Bookmark this recipe for
the next scorching
Sunday. Pork belly may be
a guilty pleasure – and
rightly so – but most of its
fats are of the healthier
monounsaturated variety.
Plus, it’s packed with B
vitamins. Slice the meat
into strips and marinate
the night before in half of
the spices, salt and
pepper. When you’re
ready to cook, fire up the
barbecue, ensuring you
leave a “cool zone”. Lightly
brush the pork with oil,
place it on the grill and
close the lid. Cook for 10
minutes per side, then
move to the cooler area.
Place all of the sliced fruit
and veg, including the
zucchini-like chocho,
in a bowl with salt and
pepper. “The chocho
gives this dish a lovely,
crispy texture,” says
Williams. It’s also rich
in vitamins C and K, zinc,
copper and manganese,
all of which support fast
fat-burning. Combine the
flour with the remaining
spices, coat the tofu, then
drop it in a hot pan with
a dash of oil until crispy.
When the pork is cool,
slice it and add to the
salad. Whisk the dressing
ingredients together, then
drizzle over everything.
Top it all off with crispy
tofu for an extra punch
of protein.
PORK CONTAINS
OLEIC ACID, THE
HEART-HEALTHY FAT
FOUND IN OLIVES.

CRAB SOM TAM
DINNERWARE PLATES HABITAT.CO.UK
This lean dish promises
all of the sweetness and heat
of your favourite Thai takeaway
but with a more palatable
macro balance. Tuck into this
fragrant feast from Rick and
Katie Toogood at seafood
restaurant Prawn on the Lawn
SERVES 4 .
Large carrots, 2, peeled
A green papaya, peeled
Garlic, 2tsp, crushed
Mint leaves, small handful
Coriander leaves, handful
Cherry tomatoes, 8, halved and squashed
Spring onions, 2, sliced
A red chilli, deseeded and finely sliced
Unpasteurised white crab meat, 150g
Peanuts, handful, crushed
FOR THE NAM JIM DRESSING:
Thai fish sauce, 1tbsp
A red chilli, deseeded and finely sliced
Ginger, 2tsp, chopped
Limes, 2, juiced
METHOD .
Crafting abs in the kitchen
should be a labour of love.
“This dish has the typical
balance of flavours found in
Thai dishes: salty, sweet,
sour, spicy – but it’s also very
healthy,” says Rick Toogood.
Using a mandoline, slice the
carrots and vitamin
C-packed papaya into thin
matchsticks.
Place in a mixing bowl, add
the garlic, then whisk up the
nam jim sauce and pour it
over. Purists add palm sugar,
but this recipe gets its
natural sweetness from the
seafood, further cutting
NUTRITION
WITH A 10:1 PROTEIN-
FAT RATIO, CRAB IS
WORTH A CRACK.
carbs. Cover with cling film
and store in the fridge for at
least an hour to allow the
flavours to infuse.
When you’re ready to serve,
remove the bowl from the
fridge and add the mint,
coriander, squashed
tomatoes, spring onions
and chilli. Mix thoroughly.
Pile it onto a serving plate
and top with the crab meat,
an excellent source of
mood-improving riboflavin
and selenium, as well as
testosterone-boosting zinc.
Sprinkle the toasted
peanuts on top and serve.
January 2020 107
LAMB’S 30G OF
PROTEIN WILL
PUT A SPRING IN
YOUR STEP.

ROAST LAMB, SERVES 4 . METHOD .

“This dish is great for to render the fat and give then take it off the heat.
Lamb rumps, 4 x 160g
the meat a little colour, Fill your Tupperware

POTATO AND New potatoes, 300g

summer, when the lambs
are a little fatter,” says then roast in the oven for with the salad leaves,
A red onion, sliced
Gordon. The meat from 13-15 minutes. then top with the potato

CHERRY
Garlic, 6 cloves, sliced While it cooks, boil the and cherry mix. As well
grass-fed lambs, in
Oregano leaves, particular, is rich in potatoes, drain and as adding a welcome hit
a large pinch
After a tough session in weight-controlling halve. White spuds are of sweetness to your
Cherries, 16, halved stuffed with fast-acting dish, cherries are among
the gym, you deserve omega-3 fatty acids.
Balsamic or red wine vinegar, Heat the oven carbs and rehydrating the most effective foods
a greater reward than 2tbsp
potassium, ideal after for reducing post-
to 180°C and put a
a limp supermarket Salad leaves, 2 handfuls
roasting dish in the cardio. Fry the onion and workout muscle
salad. Prep this recipe middle. Sco re the lamb garlic until caramelised, inflammation. Finally,
from chef Peter Gordon fat, then place the then add the potatoes, slice the roast lamb
meat in a hot pan with oregano and cherries to against the grain and
of fusion restaurant The
a dash of oil, fat side warm through. Season place it on top. It’s a
Providores the night with salt and pepper, add lunch that’s well worth
down. Cook for five
before, and break it out minutes, turning once, a splash of the vinegar, working for.
108 menshealth.com.au

SUMMER
CAESAR DELUXE
This twist on the classic
salad will sate your cravings
for salt and fat but won’t
leave you lethargic. Best
of all, it includes bacon –
courtesy of Ben Tish, chef
at the Stafford
COMPOUNDS IN AGED
CHEESE ARE LINKED TO
HIGHER LIFE EXPECTANCY.
SERVES 4 .
Baby gem lettuce, 4 heads
Chicken stock, 50ml
Dijon mustard, 1tsp
Thick-cut streaky bacon, 8 slices
Thyme leaves, 1tsp
Honey, 1tbsp
A slice of sourdough, torn
Fresh mayonnaise, 170ml
Beech-smoked anchovies,
a small tin
Aged Parmesan cheese, 100g
METHOD .
Greens are good for
more than just bulking
out your plate. Pick the
outer leaves of the
lettuce and wilt them in
a saucepan with a dash
of oil and some
seasoning. Pluck them
out while they’re still
green and blend with
the stock and mustard.
Next up, the rashers. Pop
them under the grill
until they start to colour,
then top with the thyme
NUTRITION
and honey. Finish for
another minute or so.
olive oil and egg yolk,
can be an excellent
“The salty bacon works source of healthy fats,
wonders with the sweet while anchovies are rich
honey and the fragrant in energy-lifting niacin.
thyme,” says Tish. Toss Dress the remaining
the sourdough pieces – a baby gem leaves with
source of slow-burning the mayo. To assemble,
carbs – with oil and divide the blended
seasoning, then bake in greens into four bowls,
an oven at 180°C for 10 then top with the
minutes. Blitz the mayo dressed leaves, bacon,
along with four pieces of croutons, anchovies and
anchovy. Fresh mayo, Parmesan shavings, for
made with extra-virgin cheat-day flavour with
minimal drawbacks. Best
served in the garden
alongside a chilled glass
of . . . well, anything.
January 2020 109
110 menshealth.com.au
 TACTICS

H
Throwing themselves head-
first into death-defying drops,
cliff divers learn to control
their fear in order to perform at
their peak. Steal their secrets in

I
order to thrive under pressure
BY LUKE BENEDICTUS

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RED BULL CONTENT POOL

G S
H T LOOK OVER THE EDGE of the
platform and it hits you in the pit of
your stomach. That lurching sense
of visceral dread. Giddily, you look

A
down and down and down. Snaking
far below is the river, its water a
murky shade of khaki. Brown leaves
float in it like specks. At point-blank
range, the 27-metre drop from the
bridge is a harrowing prospect.

K
Yet here in Spain’s Basque
capital of Bilbao, daredevils in
tiny swimsuits will shortly hurl
themselves off this bridge into the
Nervión river in the final of the Cliff
Diving World Championships.
Edging off the platform, I spy

E
Rhiannon Iffland, the reigning
women’s champion for the past four
years. All golden tan and blazing
blonde hair, she hails from Lake
Macquarie, NSW, and is gunning
to complete a clean sweep of seven
straight victories to clinch the title
tomorrow. When I confess how

S
confronting I found viewing the
drop, she winces and nods. “Trust
me, I had exactly the same feeling
when I walked out there fully
clothed,” she says. “It takes a lot of
getting used to. Really.”
It’s not just nerves that the cliff
divers have to adapt to, but the
phenomenal stress this extreme
sport puts on their bodies. From
27 metres, the divers accelerate
off the platform at 9.8 metres per
second while performing spins,
twists and somersaults as they whirl
through the air. They punch through

January 2020 111

the surface of the water at 85
kilometres per hour.
“When you enter the water
at that velocity, the impact is
severe,” says Eric Brooker, the
Newcastle diving coach who
introduced Iffland to the sport.
“It’s like hitting a bus if you don’t
get it right.”
Get it wrong and things
get ugly. Ask Iffland about
the sort of damage a cliff diver
can sustain and her breezy
manner suddenly becomes
evasive. “Any injury, you name
it,” she shrugs, flatly refusing
to get drawn on specifics.
There’s a reason she doesn’t
want to get into details. Iffland
is, after all, steeling herself to
leap from the bridge the following
day. Just as a boxer refuses
to countenance defeat when
entering the ring, she can’t allow
doubt to cloud her focus. When
you’re staring down this sort of
critical danger, self-belief is vital
to success.
Yet the truth is that a wrong
move in this sport can prove life-
threatening. Just ask Joe Zuber.
The Brisbane native was an elite
cliff diver who’s now Red Bull’s
live TV commentator, as well as
being a member of the FINA High
Diving Technical Committee.
He’s also bloody lucky to be alive.
112 menshealth.com.au
In 2008, he was doing an
exhibition dive at a music
festival in Colombia when, as
he puts it matter-of-factly, he
“chose the wrong dive”. After
entering the water, Zuber hit the
bottom, shattering his femur
and breaking his ankle. Rescue
helicopters refused to airlift
him to hospital from the remote
location, fearing they’d be shot
down by the anti-aircraft guns of
the local cocaine guerrillas. As a
result, Zuber was forced to endure
a nine-hour ride over dirt-track
roads to the nearest hospital.
The delay, coupled with surgical
complications, led to both heart
and kidney failure. “It was a
life-and-death situation,” Zuber
admits. “It really was close.”
While that career-ending
accident was dramatic, lesser
injuries like concussions, skin
lacerations and ripped tendons
are not unusual. Cliff-diving
is not a forgiving business. When
you’re hurtling through thin
air, small things become big
things fast.
But that edge-of-the-seat
danger, coupled with the jaw-
dropping locations, also make “When you enter the water at
that velocity it’s like hitting a
cliff diving an amazing spectacle.
Certain things in life – penalty
bus if you don’t get it right”
shoot-outs, high-wire walks,
Russian roulette – are just
inherently dramatic. Watching
an elite athlete in negligible
swimwear nail a quadruple
somersault half-twist pike off
a cliff is, it turns out, utterly
compulsive viewing.
It’s therefore no surprise
that the sport is becoming
increasingly hot property. While
Red Bull is the Cliff Diving
Championships’ headline
sponsor, this year the Swiss
watch brand, Mido, also got
involved as the sport’s “Official
Performance Partner”.
“Watchmaking at Mido and
this sport are based on precision
and top performance,” says the
brand’s president Franz Linder.
TAKE THE PLUNGE: A
“Plus cliff diving is about the
DIVER RACES TOWARD
THE WATER AS THE water, too – the perfect theme for
CROWD LOOKS ON. our divers’ watches.”

One of Mido’s ambassadors
is Jonathan Paredes, the
Mexican diver who won the
Championships in 2017. The
day before the final, I spot him
sitting on the edge of the bridge’s
diving platform. With a baseball
cap screwed backwards on his
head and legs dangling above the
drop, the 30-year old calmly sips
a drink as he admires the view of
the Guggenheim Museum, Frank
Gehry’s architectural show-
stopper, that’s situated on the
riverbank to the left.
Judging by his immunity to
panic-inducing heights, Paredes
clearly has serious cojones. But
the diver reveals that he still
endures sudden attacks of fear.
The worst moment, Paredes
explains, is on the journey to the
diving platform, which often
involves shinning up rocky cliff-
faces to access it. That journey
is when the mind games
crank up. “There are a lot of
things going on. Fear. Tension.
Pressure,” Paredes admits. “It’s
not a walk in the park.”
It’s then that your voices of
self-doubt begin to jabber more
loudly. After all, there’s not just
the physical height to consider.
Unlike when you launch off
a diving board, divers can fly
terrifyingly close to the cliff
face and protruding rock ledges
before they have to negotiate
their make-or-break entries.
“You never conquer the fear,”
Paredes says. “You just manage
it. If you lose fear, it’s the moment
to retire.”
In fact, he explains, fear is a
vital accomplice in cliff diving,
because it forces you to confront
the magnitude of your challenge.
Backflipping off a 27m drop there
is no room for complacency. Fear
makes you face up to the gravity
of the situation in every sense.
That’s why whenever you
have to perform under pressure
– whether public speaking or
sitting an exam – Paredes’
number one piece of advice is to
give your challenge the respect
it deserves. Break down the
components of what you must
do, visualise how to tackle each
one. And then practise, a lot.
“Stay respectful, stay focused.
That will keep your feet on the
ground and give you a bit more
confidence,” Paredes says. “Then
you can start to control the fear.”
But cliff diving isn’t just about
bravery. To get a better idea of
the sport’s physical demands
you need to speak to Greg
Louganis, the five-time world
diving champion and quadruple
Olympic gold medallist whose
victory in Seoul after whacking
his head on the springboard is
the stuff of sporting legend.
Today, Louganis is the sports
TACTICS
LEFT: MEXICAN DIVER
PAREDES IN MID-AIR
AND REFLECTING ON
THE PLATFORM.
director of the Cliff Diving World
Series. He’s never tried cliff
diving from the full competitive
height after once attempting a
dive from around halfway. “Then
somebody showed me a videotape
of it,” he says with a grimace. “I
was like this close to the rocks.”
The big difference with
Olympic diving is the sheer
height. Cliff divers leap from
27m compared to a maximum
of 10m in the Olympics (female
cliff divers compete off a 20m
platform). These physical
demands mean that divers have
to enter the water feet first.
“That’s because your hip sockets
are much more stable than your
January 2020 113

CARVE A CLIFF-
DIVER’S ABS
Coach Eric Brooker
explains how cliff
divers build a core
of steel
PLANK:
Lie prone on elbows with a
flat back. Hold this
position for 60 secs and
repeat 3 times. shoulders,” Louganis explains.
“But while it’s less stress, the
impact is still massive.”
During a dive, the biggest
danger is losing your orientation,
not difficult when you’re
twizzling head over heels at
breakneck speed. Divers need the
spatial awareness to hit the water
in exactly the right position to
avoid injury.
“The divers have incredible
depth perception,” Louganis
SUPINE BRIDGE: explains. “They can sense
Lie on the floor with arms
straight out to the side, how far off the water they are
palms down. Place your to make whatever adjustments
heels on a Swiss ball, are necessary.”
raise your hips to form a The technical term for
90° angle at the knee,
hold for 3 secs and this knack is proprioception.
repeat 10 times. Essentially, this is an athlete’s
ability to make neuromuscular
connections and judge multiple
angles, positions and limbs in
a fraction of a second. It’s the
mind-body connection you need
to slam dunk a basketball, nail
a cross-court volley or drill a
bicycle kick into the top corner.
The late neurologist Dr Oliver
Sacks called proprioception a
“sixth sense” that’s equal in
TUCK TO DIVE importance to the other five.
Assume a push-up position Suffice to say, cliff divers have
on a Swiss ball with your
honed theirs to clairvoyant levels.
hands on the floor. Bring
your knees to your chest
in a tuck then push out They’re also serious athletes.
to the starting position. The male competitors are all
Focus on controlling conspicuously ripped with lean
the movement so your
hips remain still. Repeat definition that highlights every
5 times. muscle. Despite the visual nature
of the sport, the divers’ bodies
114 menshealth.com.au
HEAD OVER HEELS:
CZECH DIVER
MICHAL NAVRATIL
TUCKS UP.
competition, not much is at
stake. Whatever happens today,
Iffland has already clinched the
women’s title while in the men’s
competition, Britain’s Gary Hunt
– a seven-time world champion
– has also prevailed once again.
But while the winners may be
decided, there’s still tension in
the air due to the physical stakes.
That’s particularly true in Bilbao.
Many of the competitors feel that
bridges are more challenging to
dive off than cliffs as the lack of
ILLUSTRATION BY SONNY RAMIREZ @ ILLUSTRATIONOROOM.COM.AU
a discernible shoreline denies
them a visual marker to judge
aren’t built for aesthetics. Some their entry into the water.
of the muscle serves as body Up on the bridge, the nerves
armour to offer slight protection are palpable on the faces of
at the moment of impact. “You the divers as they wait to be
need to have a lot of strength called to action. Some sit
without necessarily being too with their eyes closed, quietly
bulky,” Zuber explains. “But murmuring to themselves.
you also need to be incredibly Others rehearse truncated
powerful and flexible at the movements from their dives to
same time.” prime theirmuscle memory into
Core strength, in particular, action. Below at ground level,
is critical. As the divers hit the there’s a carnival atmosphere.
water, their lower body is slowed But behind the scenes, the mood
down by the impact while their
upper body is still speeding up.
The crucial link yoking
the two together is the core,
which is thrown under
astounding pressure. If your
core is not completely tight you
can easily injure your back.
“Sometimes it feels like the water
really wants to pull you to pieces,”
Zuber admits. “I’d say that the
abdominal strength of divers
is the best out of almost all the
sports in the world.”
It’s showtime. On Saturday
afternoon the streets of Bilbao
are packed with 27,000 people
hollering to see the divers do their
stuff. Spectators squeeze onto
the balconies of neighbouring
houses or sit astride the rooftops
in the sun. Above the yells of the
crowd, house music blares.
This afternoon is the final
of the Championships, the
culmination of a roaming
global series. In terms of

is sombre and intense.
When called to the
platform everything changes.
Suddenly, the divers switch
into performance mode and
jump onto stage with a cocksure
swagger. Mido’s Paredes leaps
onto the platform wearing a
mask and the shirt of the local
football team’s goalkeeper,
whipping the spectators to fever
pitch. This isn’t just theatrical
bravado but a coldly logical
performance tactic. Projecting
confidence can translate into
increased self-assurance in
your brain. As Paredes explains
afterwards, “I wasn’t playing
around,” he says, “I was just
trying to control myself.”
Then there is the sound of the
bell. The DJ cuts the music and
the crowd falls to a hush. Paredes
crosses himself and walks to the
edge of the platform. In the late
“The abdominal strength
of divers is the best out of
all the sports in the world”
afternoon sunlight, he blows
kisses to the crowd before turning
to stand with his back to the
ledge. Concentration is etched on
his face as he stands on the tips
of his toes, heels cocked above
the drop. It’s an unsustainable
position, but he holds it for five
long seconds.
As his heart rate accelerates,
Paredes’ focus narrows. What’s
happening now is a strange form
of escapism. He’s no longer aware
of the crowd or the Guggenheim
Museum shimmering to his left.
All his attention is fixed on the
here and now. He bends his
knees and explodes upwards,
using his arms to generate the
rotational speed to whip him
through two and half twists into
a deep pike before entering the
water with barely a splash. The
crowd goes bananas.
Paredes emerges from the
water with a huge smile. Partly
it’s the fact that his dive will
have guaranteed him a podium
finish (he’ll finish second behind
Hunt). Partly it’s the relief of
coming through unscathed. It’s
also the satisfaction of pushing
yourself to the limits of what’s
physically and mentally possible.
So what does it feel like to pull
off a cliff dive? Zuber explains.
“It’s like the law of physics: for
every reaction there’s an equal
and opposite reaction.” The
LEFT: GARY HUNT
HURTLES TOWARD THE
WATER; TOP:
COLOMBIAN MARLA
PAULA QUINTERO;
ABOVE: HUNT AND
IFFLAND CELEBRATE
THEIR VICTORIES.
TACTICS
build-up to the dive with its mix
of performance anxiety and
mortal dread is a horrific ordeal
to endure. Yet come out the other
side, Zuber says, and you’ll feel
the corollary – a wild euphoria
that few people experience. If
there’s truth in the old saying “no
risk, no reward”, cliff divers get
the payback they deserve.
Mido is the Official Performance
Partner for the Red Bull Cliff
Diving World Series
January 2020 115

ESSENTIALS
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STAY CONNECTED AND STAY ON TOP OF LIFE
Meet the second generation Google Nest Mini, the speaker you control with your
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Ask your Google Assistant about the weather, news or almost anything. Hear your
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124 Let’s take this outside 126 Build power where it counts 128 The after-dark training secret

B E C AU S E F T E N E W R I C H

COUNTRY STRONG
Music legend TIM McGRAW lost 18 kilograms, turned into a fitness badass, and
became the latest celebrity to launch his own health and wellness brand.
Here’s what worked for him –and what might work for you

LARA ROSENBAUM ARTURO OLMOS

January 2020 119

 NEXT-STAGE FITNESS
C & W royalty Tim McGraw has become a top performer
of a different kind, powering through workouts
that would leave lesser men singin’ the blues

This is how the 52-year-old country- music star injects fun into a Eleven years and 18 foods” and began walking
vicious 90-minute sweat session he designed himself, aiming to kilograms ago, he realised in the morning.
push his own limits. “I don’t really get tired of training,” McGraw he’d lost control of his own That became a
says. “There’s such a feeling of accomplishment that comes fitness when he starred in 20-minute run, and soon he
from the feeling of being my age and still being at the top of Four Christmases. He’d was lifting weights. And he
my game.” grown up playing sports, but realised it was helping his
McGraw wants you in that position, too. That’s why he’s he was up to 97kg, and his music. “I use my whole body
become one of a growing number of celebrities – like Mark daughter Gracie noticed, to sing – my legs, my butt,”
Wahlberg, Tom Brady and Chris Hemsworth – leveraging global saying he looked “big on the he says. “And having more
stardom to build fitness and wellness brands. screen”. “I got out of it for a control over those things
McGraw creates his own workouts and partnered with while,” he says. “I was in the makes my voice stronger.”
exercise chain Snap Fitness to design TRUMAV, which is filled prime of my career, and I He also started taking his
with his favourite gear (kettlebells, battle ropes). His new book, wasn’t capitalising on it.” workouts on the road. The
Grit & Grace: Train the Mind, Train the Body, Own Your Life, So he ditched alcohol, same equipment he got for
describes his late-career fitness transformation. burgers and “truck-stop TRUMAV is always at his

HOLLYWOOD Chris Hemsworth, Mark Wahlberg, Tim Tebow, part Alex Rodriguez Tom Brady,
creator of Centr investor in F45 owner of D1 Training and Jennifer cofounder of TB12
SWOLE This app is powered The Aussie gym chain in Tampa and Lopez, investors in Offers a unique
PATROL by the trainers and
wellness experts who
is going global and
now has 400 gyms
Savannah
Focuses on improving
TruFusion
An ambitious boutique
combo of physical
therapy and
Here’s what we turned Hemsworth in the US. It’s known athletic performance. gym chain with HIIT, functional training.
think of the other into Thor. for testing 45-minute MH verdict: Great yoga, Pilates and more MH verdict:
MH verdict: A top- HIIT workouts. for top athletes, but under one roof. Hasn’t Expensive but
celebs diving drawer superhero MH verdict: The average gym-goers caught fire yet. effective, particularly
into fitness starter kit. formula isn’t can pass. MH verdict: Blends for weekend-warrior
revolutionary, but it tough workouts types with
is effective, especially and recovery – and performance goals.
for desk jockeys. it works!

120 menshealth.com.au

trailer. Hours before every
concert, he works out with
his band, often using moves
he learned from a trainer he
sometimes works with,
Roger Yuan. “I’ve learned
a lot over the last three or
four years.”
McGraw takes pride in his
transformation because it
never had anything to do
with the popularity contest
that is celebrity. “Most things
in this business are out of
your control,” he says. “What
the radio is going to play,
how many records you’re
going to sell. Control the
things you can, and maybe
that helps.”
None of this means
McGraw (or any celeb, for
that matter) should be your
go-to source for gym
wisdom. But there is plenty
that this wave of Hollywood
athleticism can help you do.
MCGRAW ADMITS THAT HE
DOESN’T EXACTLY LOVE
LEG TRAINING. BUT THAT
DOESN’T STOP HIM FROM
DOING THESE BATTLE-
ROPE REVERSE LUNGES.
“Guys like Tim and Chris
shouldn’t be viewed as
fitness gurus,” says personal
trainer Ebenezer Samuel.
“They’ve experienced
success. That’s not pushing
somebody else to success.
Just be inspired when you
see them crush their own
workouts.”
Back at TRUMAV,
McGraw is crushing this
workout. One moment he’s
climbing up two ropes; the
next he’s flipping his torso
upside down on them and
hoisting his legs skyward.
Then he’s flipping a tractor
tyre. He doesn’t slow until
he begins doing burpees
and push-ups.
When he’s done, he feels
energised. “This workout is
my meditation,” he says. “It
frees things up in your head
so you can get the trash out
for a little while.”
COUNTRY STRONG
BETWEEN
SETS
Cheat meal?
“A cheeseburger
is my all-time
favourite. Now I try to
earn it, and I’ll do
BREAK OF BRAWN
IN A PINCH FOR A QUICK SWEAT? TRY THIS 20-MINUTE
a little extra work.”
Songs on your
BASIC BODYWEIGHT SESSION, A MCGRAW CREATION. playlist?
HE DOESN’T HAVE A NAME FOR THIS ONE, SO LET’S “Usually
CALL IT “NOT A MOMENT TOO SWOON”, A PLAY ON silence, so it’s like a
ONE OF MCGRAW’S BIG HITS meditation. But I’m
also kind of stuck on
Directions: CNN. I’m a news junkie
Warm up with 3 sets of 20 jumping jacks, resting 30 seconds and usually have that
between sets. Do the first set slowly, picking up speed with on. It can be a whole
each set. Then work through the following circuit. Do each other world.”
move for 40 seconds, then rest 20 seconds. Rest 1 minute
after each round. Do 5 rounds. Favourite
superhero?
1
PUSH-UP “My wife, Faith
Start in push-up position, hands directly below your Hill! With three
shoulders, core tight. Bend at the elbows and shoulders, daughters and
lowering until your chest is 2cm from the floor, then press my schedule
back up. Too easy? After you press up, lift one hand off the and her schedule,
floor and open into a side plank; alternate sides. there’s a lot going on.
She helps hold us all
2
together. And she’s an
SQUAT
awesome cook.”
Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, core tight. Bend
at the knees and push your butt back while keeping
Workout
your chest up; lower until your thighs are parallel to the floor. kryptonite?
Stand up, squeezing your glutes at the top. Too easy? Squat “I don’t have a
down until your thighs are below parallel, or shift your feet wider. least favourite move,
though I’d have to say
3
SIT-UP leg-work isn’t
Lie on your back, feet hip-width apart, heels on the my favourite. It’s
floor. Keep your chin up. Squeeze your abs and, lifting mostly because I’m
your torso from the ground, reach for the ceiling. Lower with always trying to grow
control. Too easy? Do V-ups. Lie on your back, legs straight mine, and it can be hard
and arms extended. Lift your straight legs and arms, to find the balance.”
touching your hands to your toes.
MCGRAW KEEPS HIS
WORKOUTS INTENSE BECAUSE IT
MAKES CONCERTS SEEM EASY.
“MAKE PRACTICE HARDER THAN
THE GAME,” HE SAYS.
January 2020 121
 NEW PODCAST

In this brand new podcast , we chat to movie stars, athletes,

musicians, industry experts and extraordinary blokes about how
they have overcome adversity to find strength in their lives.

HQJWK6HVVLRQV
0HQ·V+HDOWK6WU
Episode 1
Download the Men’s Health Strength Sessions
podcast on your favourite streaming app or visit
menshealth.com.au

THE GRATE OUTDOORS
IN TASTE
For a guilt-free holiday from your usual healthy
fare, these campfire nachos boast a complete
nutrient profile – plus plenty of melted cheese
MAN
For the disciplined eater,
excursions into the wild
aren’t easy. Will his hard
work be undone by a few
days off the beaten track of
Tupperware lunches? Will
his fellow campers bemoan
his fastidiousness should
he remain on the straight
and narrow? Fear not.
Combine these tortilla
chips’ carbs, chicken’s
protein, avocado’s fats and
WORDS: PAUL KITA; PHOTOGRAPHY: CHRISTINA HOLMES
beans’ fibre with the
metabolism-firing chillies
and vitamin-rich tomatoes
to cover all bases with this
tasty compromise. The
great outdoors is no place
to hold back. Go all in.
T H E G R AT E O U T D O O R S I N TAST E
A MAN,
A PAN,
A PLAN
NACHOS
PAN 
PLAN
Serves 4 • Set a grate over a lit fire
• kJs 2070 (check for fire bans!). Line
• Protein 35g a large cast-iron pan
• Carbs 38g with a sheet of foil. Then
• Fat 24g repeat with another sheet.
Ingredients • Layer the chicken, chips,
• Tortilla chips, ½ bag chillies, beans, sweetcorn,
• Grilled chicken, 200g tomatoes and cheese.
• Ajarofslicedjalapenos Fold the foil over to make
• Black beans, ½ tin a packet, then place the
• Sweetcorn, ½ tin pan on the grill. Cook for
• Cherry tomatoes, 75g 15 minutes, or until the
• Cheddar, 115g, grated cheese melts. Meanwhile,
• A lime, juiced combine the lime juice
• Sour cream, 60g and sour cream in a bowl.
• An avocado, diced
• Springonions,2,sliced • With oven mitts, remove
• Coriander, ½ bunch, the pan. Peel back the foil
chopped and top with the avocado, HEALTHY CHEAT:
onions, coriander, lime THIS HEARTY DISH
and sour cream. Now, dig WILL DO MORE
in – but be quick. No one THAN CHIP AWAY
likes a soggy chip, do they? AT YOUR HUNGER .
January 2020 123
 THE LUNCH-HOUR
MOOD ENHANCER
Not every session calls for lung-bursting effort.
To give yourself a much-needed endorphin
boost, step outdoors and slow everything down
1A
POSITIVE VIBES ONLY
In this outdoor workout, you
won’t be punishing a certain
muscle group or fixating on
kilojoule burn. Instead, the
emphasis is on raising endorphin
levels to reduce stress. “Don’t
rush through the reps. Go at a
pace that doesn’t sacrifice your
form,” says PT Faisal Abdalla.
You’ll finish the session in tune
with your body and energised,
not quivering on the grass.
124 menshealth.com.au
1B
1|| PLANK T-ROTATION
(4 rounds of 6 reps per arm)
To open up your tight back
and shoulders, set up in a
high-plank position, hands
under your shoulders and
legs out straight (A). Let
your eyes follow your right
hand as you reach out to the
side and upward (B). Bring
it down and return to the
plank before repeating on
the other arm. To make it
easier, set your hands on a
bench. Or to advance it,
elevate your feet.
2B
2A
2|| RUNNER’S LUNGE
WORDS: MICHAEL JENNINGS; PHOTOGRAPHY: PHILIP HAYNES;
(4 rounds of 10 reps per leg)
STYLING: ABENA OFEI; GROOMING: NATACHA SCHMITT
The buzz you’ll get from
doing this move on the spot
will be just as powerful as
the “runner’s high”. With
your feet hip-width apart,
step your right leg back,
tapping your knee to the
floor and raising your right
hand towards your face (A).
Drive your knee to your
chest as you jump your left
foot off the floor, swinging
your right arm back and left
arm forward (B). After 10
reps, swap sides.
 THE LUNCH-HOUR MOOD ENHANCER
3A
4A
3|| PUSH-UP WALKOUT
(4 rounds of 8 reps )
Boost your circulation and
energy by activating muscles
in both your lower and upper
body. From a standing
position (A), bend at your
hips, your legs straight,
3B placing your hands on the
floor under your shoulders.
Walk them in front of you
until you’re in a high plank,
then drop your chest to the
floor to perform a push-up
(B). Walk your hands back
and stand. That’s one rep.
THE
SPEC
MUSCLES
TARGETED
MIN
RESULTS IN
2
WEEKS
LEVEL
EASY
4B
4|| SKATER
(4 rounds of 10 reps per leg)
With feet shoulder-width,
jump to your right with your
corresponding foot, lifting
your left leg to bring it
behind your right. As you
do, swing your left arm
forward and right arm back
to land in a sprint stance on
your right leg (A). Switch
sides, jumping with your
left foot and raising your
right leg (B). After 10 reps
each side, rest for 90
seconds before round two of
the circuit. Move well to
feel great all day.
January 2020 125
 BRET CONTRERAS (RIGHT)
CREATED THE HIP THRUST
MACHINE – FOR ONE OF
THE RARE EXERCISES
THAT ISOLATE YOUR
GLUTES – A DECADE AGO.

SEAT OF POWER
How one trainer built a temple to a body
part that’s celebrated and underappreciated
at the same time: the butt
EBENEZER SAMUEL CODY PICKENS

Behind a glass storefront on a busy San
Diego street, a model does barbell hip
thrusts while a Brazilian-jujitsu fighter
grunts through a set of 140-kg box squats.
They’ve both come to this gym for the same
reason: arse. Only it’s their own arses
they’re interested in.
Welcome to the Glute Lab, a large, one-
room space packed with machines even a
gym rat would find exotic. There’s a
contraption with pads for your calves, hooks
for weights and a belt for your waist. You
buckle up, then squeeze your glutes as you
open your legs. (Trust me: it’s hard.)
There’s no blaring rock
music here, and nobody’s
doing curls or bench presses.
In fact, the lone bench in the
building is sort of stuffed into
a tiny middle section,
wedged between a squat
rack, where one of the
assistant trainers is coaching
another model (there are
four in here right now)
through box squats, and a
Sorinex training machine that
three other employees are
busy constructing. Everyone
here, including me and Glute
Lab founder Bret Contreras,
is chasing stronger glutes.
I’ve been in the Glute Lab
barely five minutes, and the
godfather of booty training
already has me lying with my
shoulder blades in one of the
hip-thrust machines that he
sells on his website
thehipthruster.com. My butt
and feet are firmly planted on
the ground, and a bar loaded
with a whopping 130 kg is
sitting right over my hips.
Contreras wants me to
squeeze my butt cheeks
super hard, an action that
should propel my hips (and
that bar) upward and
straighten out my torso in
the process.
He’s certain I can do this,
so after he rearranges my
head position, I squeeze. The
weight is driven up, and I do
10 reps. “See? Your glutes are

126 menshealth.com.au
 S E AT O F P OW E R

THE BRET CONTRERAS BUTT BUILDER

Add es to your workouts, doing them as often
imes a week, to grow your glutes

PULSE GOBLET SQUATS

stronger than you think,” he
Stand with a dumbbell at your chest,
says with a grin.
heels on 5-kg plates. Squat until your
Same for everyone else in thighs are parallel to the floor. This is the
the building. The bells on the start. Lower until your thighs are below
door jangle and another parallel, then press up until they’re just
model in booty-hugging above parallel. (You’re doing only the
spandex walks in. She goes bottom half of a full squat motion.)
up to Contreras, who quickly That’s 1 rep; do 20.
gives her three exercises that
she seems to know already
how to do, then sets off on
her workout.
Contreras, 43, has made
it his life’s work to show BENCH HIP ABDUCTION
everyone the power of their Lie with your right side on a bench, l
and hips hanging off it, legs straight.
glutes, and he’s squeezed all
Bend your right leg. Keeping your lef
that knowledge into his new
leg straight, let it drop toward the flo
book, The Glute Lab: The Art until you feel a stretch in your left glu .
and Science of Strength and Drive your straight leg up as high as it
Physique Training. “Glute will go. That’s 1 rep; do 12 per side.
training is vital to so many
things,” he says. “It’s the
engine for your power.”
Contreras, a 193-cm,
113-kg slab of a human, is
using that engine to power
an empire. He has more than
745,000 followers on

“They don’t just look good in jeans.

Instagram, and his
BootybyBret program has
more than 4500 monthly
subscribers. He also sells his
own line of glute-building
gear, including that
hip-thrust machine, a
bespoke barbell that’s better
for glute training since the
handles are specifically
designed with glute work in
mind, and special butt-
building resistance bands
you loop around your knees.
It’s not merely that your
glutes look good in jeans.
Well-developed glutes power
you in the gym and in sports”
Although that’s no small
thing. Well-developed and
functioning glutes protect
you from knee, hip and
lower-back injuries, and they
power you in the gym and in
sports. And training them is
even more important if
you’re sedentary or have a
desk job. Sitting all day can
tighten your hip flexors and
lead to weak glutes, which
can inhibit your ability to
achieve what’s called “hip
extension”— essentially, the
opening of your hip joint.
Without that, athletic heroics
will be confined to your past.
Strong glutes also
stabilise your pelvis,
supporting your spine and
alleviating back pain.
“Your glutes are like
a Swiss Army knife,”
says Contreras. Do the
exercises above to make
them stronger.

GET HIP WITH

YOUR GLUTES!
Hip extension is a critical
human motion that’s
driven by your glutes. If
you sit too much or avoid
activating them on a daily
basis, your body forgets
how to do it. Wake up your
glutes and you get better
at these things:
RUNNING
Hip extension helps you explode
off the ground when you run,
lengthening your stride and
pushing you a bit further with
every step. “Have you ever seen a
sprinter with a small butt?”
Contreras asks. “No.”
JUMPING
Want to jump high? Then you
need to extend at the hip.
Explosive, powerful hips react
with your ankles and knees to
propel you upwards. They’re
fuelled by a strong glute
contraction.
WEIGHT TRAINING
The final motion of a squat or
deadlift occurs when your pelvis
shifts into a truly neutral position.
Are you having trouble doing
that? Squeeze your glutes extra
hard and watch what happens.

January 2020 127


IS SLEEP THE ULTIMATE P.E.D.?
What sleep coaches are telling the world’s top athletes
can raise your daily game, too. Listen up and turn in
DAVID FERRY
Tom Brady, noted underachiever that he
is, aims to be in bed by 8:30pm. LeBron
James plans his life around nabbing 10
hours of shut-eye. Justin Verlander, the
Cy Young–winning Houston Astros ace,
clocks between 10-12 hours every night.
(And he does it sleeping next to Kate
Upton.) In the past few years, the world’s
premier athletes have discovered a new
performance-enhancing supplement for
their training regimens: sleep.
128 menshealth.com.au
MOST VALUABLE PILLOW:
THE WELL-RESTED ATHLETE
IS PRIMED TO PERFORM AT A
LEVEL SLEEP-DEPRIVED
FOES COULD BUT DREAM OF.
A raft of recent and priorities. It’s why pro
tantalising studies has teams’ practice facilities
suggested that simple, include nap rooms – the Red
restorative sleep can help Sox turned an old utility
you think, perform and room into one, and the
recover better. It’s Warriors’ new Chase Center
compelled the world’s includes individual sleep
leading players (often pods. They’re reclining
prompted by their team’s chairs with caps over the
sleep coaches) top that block out noise and
to reprogram their social light, but still: sleep pods!
lives and change their Sleep – not training or
 I S S L E E P T H E U LT I M AT E P. E . D . ?

working for another
hour – is when your body
gets stronger and your mind
gets sharper. You break down
your muscles in training, but
rest is when the fibres repair
themselves and become
more powerful. And all those
skills and memories you
acquire in a day are encoded
while the lights are out. Lose
sleep and your neurons start
teams losing games. “People
who sleep more and sleep
better perform better, both in
the short and the long term.”
You might not need 10 hours
like an elite athlete. But you
should shoot for seven to
nine, and most of us aren’t
even coming close.
HOW GOOD IS
VITAMIN Z?
No one expected more sleep
to be bad for the players, but
the results were a shock:
free-throw percentages
increased by nine per cent,
successful three-point field
goals jumped 9.2 per cent,
and injuries dropped to boot.
“They all improved,” says
Mah. Related studies she
conducted showed that with
more sleep, college
practice schedules.
Cross-country flights before
games and red-eyes
afterwards? No way.
Mandatory practice the
morning after a six-hour
journey? Nope. In fact,
fatigue is such a clear
indicator of performance
that Mah collaborated with
ESPN on a schedule-alert
project to predict when NBA

firing more slowly and
working together less
efficiently. Your reaction time,
your speed and your focus all
degrade. Even just three
nights of crappy sleep has
been shown to drop your
bench press by 10 kilograms.
And in the long run, you’re
cueing up obesity, heart
disease, stroke and other
health troubles. “The
research that’s coming out
now is unequivocal,” says
W. Christopher Winter, the
neurologist who first figured
out – more than a decade
ago – that jet lag was related
to Major League Baseball
Dr Cheri Mah knows better
than most the dividends
sleep can pay. In 2011, as a
researcher at Stanford’s
Sleep Disorders Clinic and
Research Laboratory, she
published the study that
catapulted the subject of
sleep into clubhouses across
the country. Mah required a
group of players on
Stanford’s men’s basketball
team to snooze at least 10
hours a night. (How do you
get students to sleep more?
Make them spend more time
in bed – for almost everyone,
more time in bed leads to
more time asleep, she says.)
swimmers improved their
times, soccer players
sprinted faster and reported
increased vigour, and tennis
players saw their accuracy
increase. Basically, both their
brains and their bodies
functioned better. “Then my
story became: How do I
apply this?”
One of the first pro
teams Mah consulted
for was the Golden State
Warriors. That was in 2014,
toward the beginning of
their multi-season run as the
NBA’s dominant force. She
quickly helped the team
optimise its travel and
9%
teams would be at highest
risk of losing based on travel
and fatigue factors. In its
second season, the tool
correctly guessed
sleep-based losses 78 per How much free-throw
cent of the time. Since then, percentages increased
Mah says, the NBA has after players got 10
improved scheduling by hours of sleep.
keeping player fatigue in
mind. (Consider the same
with your own calendar.)
Organisational changes
help only so much; athletes
have to follow through on
their own. And you do too.
Below, discover how to
get championship sleep
and level up.

HOW TO SLEEP LIKE A CHAMP

1
MAKE SLEEP AS potential by getting a complete you) know it’s a good idea to George, and Steph Curry all swear
IMPORTANT AS night’s rest a few days in a row. foam-roll muscles anyway, so why by the pre-game nap to keep
YOUR GAME. Then see how you perform. You not make it part of a dedicated them alert and focused.

For those of us who aren’t paid
tens of millions of dollars to
perform, the idea of finding more
time for sleep can be daunting.
might do better on nine hours,
even if you’ve been telling
everyone – including yourself
– that you’re fine with four.
7
15-30 minutes of wind-down time,
Mah says. Substitutes for rolling: MAKE CONSISTENCY
yoga or some time reading an IMPORTANT.
actual book or magazine. You need weeks of

3 5
When obligations pile up, it’s
usually the first thing to go. That’s
backward thinking. “If you
increase your time in bed by even
15-20 minutes, you will notice a
difference,” says Dr Meeta Singh,
a sleep-disorder and sports-
medicine expert at the Henry Ford
Sleep Disorders Center. You know
WORK YOUR ROOM.
During the season, athletes
sleep in different hotel
rooms every week. To create the
perfect environment – a quiet,
dark, cool room (between
15.5-19.5°C) – they might need to
use pillows to keep blinds and
IF TRAVEL IS SHORT,
DON’T CHANGE
YOUR SCHEDULE.
Athletes normally shuffle between
two to four time zones, Winter
says. Research suggests that the
players’ performance peaks in late
afternoon, so he may tell a US
consistent sleep to live and play to
your full potential, Mah says. That
means going to bed and getting
up at nearly the same time every
day. Your “sleep debt”
accumulates when you don’t get
enough for days on end, and a
night or weekend of extra sleep
won’t settle your bill.

8
how Tom Brady gets to bed by curtains light-tight. LeBron West Coast pitcher to stay on
8:30? He prioritises it. reportedly relies on white noise California time for a nighttime AND IF YOU CAN’T

2
CUT THE BULL.
“I always encounter this
type, the Silicon Valley
dude who’s killing it financially,
(Rain on Leaves in the Calm app)
to block out distractions. Use
your home advantage to set up
the right sleeping environment
every night.
match-up in New York. If you’re in
a different time zone for a quick
meeting that falls within your
regular work hours, you might not
have to bother trying to adjust.
SLEEP TONIGHT . . .
“I tell my athletes and my
patients that sleep is the most
important thing in the world, but
tonight’s sleep is irrelevant,”

4 6
has kids, is trying to do a Winter says. Don’t beat yourself
triathlon,” Winter says. “He goes FOAM-ROLL POWER UP WITH up if you have some rough nights
to bed at midnight and wakes up BEFORE BED. NAP-TIME, IF or weeks. That’s normal. Stuff
at 4am. He says he’s doing great You need a bedtime YOU CAN. happens – and lying in bed is often
and needs four hours. But just routine that’s not about screens, Take a nap to help reset after when you think about it. What
because you can doesn’t mean which mess with your ability to lunch or midafternoon to finish shouldn’t be normal is cheating
you should.” Give your body a produce the sleep hormone your workday strong. In the NBA, your sleep every night and
chance to operate at its full melatonin. Athletes (and probably stars such as Kevin Durant, Paul expecting victory in every game.

January 2020 129

 ONE WORD ANSWER
QUESTION
What should you
carry to clean up
your unhealthy
spending habits?
BACK IN 2010, Eric Cantona said: “We must
go to the bank”. Was the former Manchester
United captain planning a heist, or simply
carrying out some life admin? No, he was
calling for revolution. “Instead of going on
the streets [to protest] . . . go to the bank and
withdraw your money,” he urged. “If there are
a lot of people withdrawing their money, the
system collapses.”
Unfortunately for Cantona, long before
the stock markets would crash, banks and
ATMs would simply run out of notes. “The
only effect it would have is to inconvenience
a lot of people when they go to the cash
machine,” Richard Wellings of the Institute of
Economic Affairs responded. Not exactly the
end of capitalism as we know it. But while
King Eric may not be able to bring down the
130 menshealth.com.au
system for love nor money, there is still a
practical reason to head to the cash machine
and pull out a wad of notes.
Carrying cold, hard cash can limit
overspending and may even help you make
healthier choices. According to a study in the
Journal of Experimental Psychology, applied
or less “transparent” ways of paying – from
credit cards to gift cards – dull the “pain of
paying”. Any purchase can stimulate the
release of dopamine in your brain, triggering
a feeling of reward and pleasure more often
associated with recreational drugs. Watching
your pile of notes physically diminish can
temper the fun, but without the tangible
transaction of handing over cash, spending
becomes a game.
Your debit card’s anaesthetic properties
CREDIT SQUEEZE:
ESCHEWING PLASTIC
MONEY FOR NOTES
COULD MAKE YOU A
SAVVIER SPENDER.
ANSWER
Cash
extend to the quality of your purchases, too.
Another study, published in the Journal of
Consumer Research, found that card users
splash their metaphorical cash on items more
impulsively than those paying with paper and
coins, leading to decisions that could set
back your fitness goals. The study found that
if you use cash, you’re more likely to restrict
your shopping trolley to wholefoods; when
paying by card, you’re more inclined to load
up on ice cream, chips and chocolate.
If increasing your bank balance and
trimming your waistline aren’t enough of a
reason to chop up your plastic, research from
WORDS: JUSTIN GUTHRIE
the University of Texas at Austin found that
cash actually carries fewer bacteria than your
cards. So, even the dirtiest of cash is the
cleaner option.
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